Wendi McLendon-Covey Disobeys Bridger

Summary

Podcast Summary: I Said No Gifts! – “Wendi McLendon-Covey Disobeys Bridger”

Host: Bridger Winegar
Guest: Wendi McLendon-Covey
Release Date: January 1, 2026

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Episode Overview

The first episode of 2026 brings actress and comedian Wendi McLendon-Covey as Bridger’s guest for another classic installment of I Said No Gifts! True to tradition, Wendi “disobeys” the host’s only rule and brings a gift, which kicks off a playful, personal, and hilarious conversation about music obsessions, childhood ambitions, travel stories, concert etiquette, unusual gifts, and the beauty of Japanese convenience stores. The episode’s heart is the rapport between Bridger and Wendi, filled with witty banter, nostalgia, and inventive business schemes—plus a deep dive into the world of scented Hello Kitty toilet paper.

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Major Discussion Points & Insights

Revisiting Childhood, Music, and “Little House on the Prairie” (04:51 — 13:55)

• Nostalgia Kickoff: The episode opens with Bridger and Wendi reminiscing about the iconic show Little House on the Prairie, reveling in its surprising depth and melodrama.
  • "They talked about race. They talked about rape. You're talking about class warfare. And there's horses and typhoid fever. Yeah, and you churn your own butter." – Wendi (05:09)
• Music Lessons & Regrets: Both share memories of childhood musical training, with mutual regret over not sticking with piano.
  • “That’s one of the biggest regrets of my life, is that I didn’t stick with it.” – Wendi (08:39)
• Wendi’s Vintage Organ Story: Wendi reveals she's inherited a classic electric organ, which sparks laughs about impractical, heavy musical instruments and their potential for party tricks.

Concerts, Participating in Culture, and Audience Behavior (17:04 — 26:07)

• Concert Obsessions: Wendi is a self-declared “participator deluxe” at shows, unafraid to dance and wave her hands—unlike LA’s infamously too-cool audiences.
  • "I'm annoying. I am a participator deluxe. So if you tell me to wave my hands in the air, I will wave my hands. ... We paid good money for these. So show the artist that we're into it." – Wendi (19:27)
• Bad Audience Stories: Tales of fistfights and poor crowd behavior at concerts, especially post-pandemic.
  • "People were still getting into their seats and blah blah, blah. But yeah, I was surprised that that went off the way it did." – Wendi (23:29)
• Personal Space Crisis: Rants on people forgetting boundaries after lockdowns, leading to discomfort in public.
  • “That's something that really sets me off is when my space is invaded by someone who's just like not aware that of others existence.” – Bridger (25:08)

The Gift: Hello Kitty Strawberry-Scented Toilet Paper (29:34 — 35:14)

• Gift Reveal: Wendi gifts Bridger a package of Hello Kitty-branded, strawberry-scented toilet paper from Tokyo Central Grocery, delighting him with both the surprise and the strawberry scent.
  • "It's something I like to get for all the men in my life. And I poked a hole in the bottom so you can smell it." – Wendi (30:05)
• Japanese Grocery Stores: They talk up Tokyo Central Grocery as a wonderland for quirky imports, great produce, and housewares.
• Beauty Routines & K-Beauty: Wendi’s penchant for face masks and sheet masks from the same store leads to mockery of elaborate skincare regimens.
  • “I have to start my bedtime ritual at 5:30 ... and then lay perfectly still all night. I don't know.” – Wendi (33:38)

Japan, Travel Stories, and “Haunted House” Dreams (35:26 — 41:01)

• Japan Love Letter: Bridger shares his love for Japanese culture, travel ease, and novel diet sodas—prompted by his discovery of Pepsi Zero Peach in Kyoto.
  • “Why would I go elsewhere when I can go to Japan and just have a lovely easy time where things are endlessly fascinating?” – Bridger (36:36)
• Buying Rural Japanese Houses: They discuss viral stories about cheap, fully furnished abandoned houses (with jokes about haunted horror-movie vibes).
  • “That's a horror movie. But by a house full of cursed objects.” – Bridger (38:53)

New Orleans, Swamp Tours & Unusual Funeral Wishes (41:01 — 49:00)

• Owning a Place in New Orleans: Wendi talks about her “small” vacation spot there and the unique music scene, while Bridger considers a visit.
  • “Music's playing, there's a brass band playing somewhere. It's like living in the middle of Disneyland almost.” – Wendi (42:11)
• Swamp Tours & Wild Animals: The perils (and surprises) of swamp tours, feeding marshmallows to alligators, and one tourist’s bizarre act—feeding their friend’s ashes to a gator.
  • “He opened up [a protein ball] and put the ashes of his dead best friend and fed it to a gator. Because she was such a gator person...” – Wendi (44:07)
• Alligator-Themed Funeral Business: Spiraling into an elaborate, comic business idea: “Make It Snappy,” a mortuary where you launch bodies into a gator-infested swamp.
  • "That’s a good idea. The name for the funeral home, Make It Snappy and the alligators are snapping." – Bridger (47:01)

Dance Background and Wendi’s Japan Tour (49:04 — 53:23)

• Dance Origins: Wendi recounts her and her sister’s entry into dance—jazz, ballet, and even a Japan tour.
  • “That’s why I went to Japan, I was on a tour. A dance tour.” – Wendi (49:55)
• Japan Dance Tour Memories: Performing “Latin reviews” in various venues, from swanky clubs to Pizza Hut-like joints, in the summer of the Olympics in Spain.

Gift or a Curse Game (56:53 — 64:31)

1. Seasonal Color Analysis (57:11)

• Wendi: “Curse—just one more thing to obsess over. … You’re supposed to take [the book] to every shopping trip? It’s unreasonable.”
• Bridger: Agrees, everyone looks good in black. (Correct!)

2. Toilets with Dual Flush Buttons (60:48)

• Wendi: “Curse. Why? Just always use the big one – the little one doesn’t do anything.”
• Bridger: Shares the disdain—no one needs to study a toilet. (Correct!)

3. Couples Saying “We’re Pregnant” (63:09)

• Wendi: “Curse. That is so gross. We’re pregnant. No, no, no, no, no.”
• Bridger: Claims “it’s a gift!” with tongue-in-cheek sarcasm about shared social media accounts and matching pajamas. (Wendi gets this one “wrong.”)

Listener Advice: The Bridal Shower Conundrum (64:31 — 70:43)

• Listener asks: What should a group of friends give a no-gift-demanding bride, ideas so far include a bidet.
• Wendi’s Advice: Skip the joke gift, go for an experience like a dinner or hotel stay; a bidet is weirdly personal and awkward at a party.
  • “Don’t buy a gag gift ... the impetus is on them to find out what to do with this.” – Wendi (67:45)
• Bridger’s Idea: Jokingly suggests a burner phone so the bride’s family can’t contact her.
  • “Maybe you get the friend a new phone plan where the family doesn’t have that number. ... a burner phone.” – Bridger (67:58)
• Wendi Wraps: Ultimately, if someone says, “Don’t get me anything,” they’ll complain if you don’t—do something practical or fun but not embarrassing.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “What a harmless thrill.” – Bridger, on toilet-papering houses (53:44)
• “I'll let you know when I want to taste you. And that happens more often than you would think.” – Bridger (25:50)
• “You should do that as a yes. We did. We did.” – Wendi, confirming toilet-papering pranks (53:44)
• “Make It Snappy: The Funeral Home. The amount of millionaires this podcast has launched!” – Bridger (47:01)
• “You and I do a Taste of Spain 2 — all over Japan.” – Bridger, pitching a touring dance revival with Wendi (53:09)

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Segment Timestamps

• Little House on the Prairie nostalgia: 04:51–08:14
• Musical regrets & family lessons: 08:15–13:55
• Electric organ tales: 09:18–13:18
• Concert etiquette & music fandom: 17:04–26:07
• Gift reveal (Hello Kitty TP): 29:34–35:14
• Japanese groceries & beauty hacks: 31:02–34:11
• Travel stories: Japan & New Orleans: 35:26–41:01
• Swamp tours & funeral business ideas: 43:05–48:05
• Dance career & Japan tour: 49:13–53:23
• Gift or a Curse Game: 56:53–64:31
• Listener mail/advice: 64:31–70:43

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Tone & Vibe

Bright, silly, dryly self-deprecating and endlessly tangential, Bridger and Wendi’s rapport is warm and mischievous. The episode is peppered with dry banter, self-mockery, quick pivots to odd business ideas and parodic advice—anchored by moments of genuine friendship and shared nostalgia.

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Takeaways

• You’re never too old to learn a party trick—or regret abandoning piano.
• No concert is complete without audience enthusiasm!
• Quirky, scented imports make the best gifts (even if they’re impractical)
• Travel is often about finding delight in the mundane.
• If “I said no gifts,” give an experience, not a gag. But if in doubt … Hello Kitty toilet paper is a crowd-pleaser.

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Recommended for fans of offbeat humor, gentle social satire, and the chaotic joy of finding unexpected connections in everyday life.

Transcript

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[A]

When I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly when you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty handed. I said no guests. Your presence is present enough and I already had too much stuff so how do you dare disobey me?

[B]

Welcome to I said no Gifts. I'm Bridger Weiniger. We're here in the studio I believe and I'm. Well, I haven't looked at the emails enough to confirm this, but we'll just assume this is the first podcast of the year of 2026. Happy New Year. How could we possibly top 2025? It was perfect. I did have the realization last night that one of the highlights of last year for me was trying a new diet soda. So how can you top that? How can you top a Pepsi Zero Peach? You know? So we'll move forward into the year. I think something's going to happen this year. I feel like something is going to happen that's going to make us all so happy. So let's just keep that in mind. Please let me look at my business. I've got to make sure I've got all of my business taken care of, because it is the new year. We've got to cover everything. I've talked about diet soda. Patreon. Join the patreon. Patreon.com I saidnogifts. Just a wealth of content. Everyone loves content. And if you want more content, this is where you go. I'm recapping Housewives. I'm recapping Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. You know, we have bonus episodes of this show in the backyard. Famously, my mom was on recently. Come join us. We're having the time of our lives. We're sharing pictures of our pets. What? Patreon lets you share pictures of your pets, so come join us. I think that's everything. I'm looking at my doc, still watching Little House on the Prairie. Most recently, I think there was a leaf collecting competition. Did not become as violent as you would expect, so that was disappointing. But let's get into the show. I'm just all over the place. I adore today's guest. Everyone truly loves her. It's Wendy McLendon Covey. Wendy, welcome to I said no gifts.

[A]

I am so honored to be here. I am so honored. Little House on the Prairie. I'm right there with you.

[B]

When was the last time you saw the show?

[A]

Oh, ages. Decades ago.

[B]

You gotta get back into it.

[A]

But yes, because that was some good writing.

[B]

Excellent writing.

[A]

All right. They talked about race.

[B]

They talked about race. They talked about rape. Oh, I haven't seen Freight. Oh.

[A]

Oh, you're gonna be mad. You're gonna be upset.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

You're talking about class warfare. And there's horses and typhoid fever. Yeah, and you churn your own butter.

[B]

Churn your own butter. I watched an episode that was just a baseball game.

[A]

Stop it. Did you see when that girl drowned?

[B]

Wendy, you're giving the whole show.

[A]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. There's A reason it was on for so long.

[B]

I'm in season two right now. But of course, every season is like 50 episodes, so. Which is also.

[A]

Those are the good old days.

[B]

You don't have to tell me now. The show would be eight episodes long.

[A]

And film every two years.

[B]

Yeah. Every time we checked in with them, they'd all be a decade older. No, we're. This is essentially reality tv. I'm watching a documentary of these people in the. Where are they supposed to be? The Midwest.

[A]

Yeah, of course. It's Mankato.

[B]

Yes, Mankato.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

That's where they go to Mankato. Often they go camping. What a group. Nellie Olsen.

[A]

What a.

[B]

This is my complaint. Yes, Nellie Olsen. They're often giving the brother more lines. Willy.

[A]

Willie.

[B]

Yeah, I was gonna say Willie Nelson.

[A]

No, Willie Olsen. Yeah.

[B]

Willie Nelson would make sense within this world. Willie Olsen. I'm not as much of a fan of him. Nellie Olsen is the town brat.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Just let her be the star of the show is my thing.

[A]

I mean, she has the best clothes.

[B]

Oh, she's immaculate.

[A]

She has the best hair. A doting mother.

[B]

A doting, nasty mother.

[A]

Nasty mother. But they're the merchants. They own the mercantile. Exactly.

[B]

It's a very. It's a tough place to grow up, I would say.

[A]

Not gentle times.

[B]

No, I just. I saw an episode where they. The gals were on a runaway train, they got on a caboose and it just left.

[A]

Sometimes that happens. You know how sometimes that just happens? You're playing.

[B]

You don't have to tell me. I think there was some, like, obsession. Did you have an obsession with a kid as a kid to be like. To live in a boxcar? Did you ever read Boxcar Children or this sort of thing?

[A]

Maybe that was Boxcar Children. No, but that was kind of the preferred method to run away, though, when you were a kid is you would tie all your stuff in a bandana, put it on a stick, a bindle, walk down to the train tracks and just jump on whenever you could. And that seemed reasonable to all of us, right?

[B]

Of course. Yeah. I tried to run away from home at least twice. Really made it as far as up the hill. I think it's more of an attention grabbing thing. Look at me. Pay a little more attention to me or you might lose me.

[A]

You might lose me. I know I have options out in the world. I'm in the first grade and I've got feelings. And it's time people started to pay attention.

[B]

Right. And I have the skill set to survive. Try me, Mom.

[A]

Yeah. Don't know if you've heard me play. I'm a little teapot on the.

[B]

The recorder.

[A]

On the recorder or on the piano. But I can make a living for myself. I can busk.

[B]

Did you play piano as a kid?

[A]

I did. Can you still play the piano with these nails? Not really. But I still remember things that I. Cause I'm a little bit adhd.

[B]

Sure, sure.

[A]

So I used to play things for speed or just because I, like in the middle of whatever else I was doing, I'd have to run in, play something on the piano really fast and run back out and do something else. So I still have that sense memory of how to make those notes work. But that's one of the biggest regrets of my life, is that I didn't stick with it.

[B]

The same with me. I was just talking to somebody about this where my parents threatened me constantly, you're going to regret this. Of course I didn't listen. And now I can do about the same thing. I can sit down at the piano and annoy people nearby.

[A]

Annoy people? Yeah.

[B]

Is it too late?

[A]

You know, I just inherited an organ.

[B]

Like a proper organ. Wow. Electric.

[A]

Or pump electric.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And it's all I want to do is just sit down and play. And now you really don't have an excuse not to because you can get the headphones that plug in so no one has to hear you practicing.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So, no, it's never too late if you're thinking about it. And what a delight you would be at every party you went to.

[B]

That's true. It's a little. I don't have any party tricks.

[A]

Well, you're gonna get yourself a portable.

[B]

Keyboard that drags it right up.

[A]

I bought one for my mom.

[B]

It rolls up.

[A]

It rolls up. The keyboard rolls up and you put it in a little duffel bag or something like that. It's very portable. She can't stand it, so it might make its way back to me. Is it too bad that I didn't bring it for you today?

[B]

So it's like a miniature Ve Tom Hanks plays in big.

[A]

Kind of. Yeah.

[B]

Kind of like a plastic roll up thing. Why did you buy that for your mom?

[A]

Because she needed to be able to practice. She still plays. She was my original teacher for the piano.

[B]

Now there's some conflict of interest there.

[A]

Yes. It's not easy to take lessons from your mom.

[B]

Right.

[A]

It really is.

[B]

Or to pay her a weekly salary.

[A]

Exactly. Or, you know, when she wants you to keep playing religious hymns and you don't want that. You want to start playing jazz?

[B]

Of course. That's the biggest problem that every piano teacher makes. Well, maybe if it was a fun song to play.

[A]

Exactly. I don't want to play fairest. Lord Jesus, you can play that. I'm never going. I'm never going to go anywhere where I will need to play this, but thank you.

[B]

But now you have an organ.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Is it huge?

[A]

It's not huge, but it's a big un.

[B]

Right. Those things are heavy.

[A]

Yeah. It was not easy to get it into the house. Let me say that it's not moving now.

[B]

And where do you have it in the house?

[A]

It's our living room that we call the gift shop because that's where all the breakables are.

[B]

Oh, I love that.

[A]

My glass collection and all my bullshit, you know, we call it the gift shop, so.

[B]

Oh, that's fantastic. When I was in high school, I found an electric organ at the thrift store and bought it for $50 and then somehow convinced my parents to let us bring it into the house.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Then it was just taking up a huge portion of the basement for me to dick around on every few weeks. But I loved the thing.

[A]

So you had to get that thing down into the basement.

[B]

No exaggeration. It must have been 300 pounds at least.

[A]

Did you have to break it apart?

[B]

They're also. They're like. No, they're very wide and, you know, it's an unwieldy object.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

The fact that I asked anyone to.

[A]

Can it make samba sounds like. Does it have all the different.

[B]

It had like the little automatic switch and the drums. I love the drum machine on this thing.

[A]

So funky.

[B]

Oh, so funky.

[A]

You just walk around like, with a cocktail, a mocktail in your hand and some candy cigarettes being like, hey, everybody.

[B]

Well, it played a waltz beat.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

It also had the little synthesizer at the top, which. I loved the sound of that thing. I wish I still had it. But how do you transport that? My parents must have run it through a wood chipper. Where did it end up?

[A]

Yeah, where did it end up? Did they just move houses and.

[B]

They moved when I went to college, so I don't know what happened to that thing.

[A]

Maybe they just included it with the sale.

[B]

Right. That was the big bonus. Get a $50 from the 70s. I'm really jealous of you. What are you going to do with your organ in the house? Are you going to play it or is it just kind of.

[A]

Well, it seems like that's what I should do with it, but Right now I just use it for decorations for like, you know, say you have a pair of really elegant severed hands from Halloween. Of course you're gonna put those on there. Of course.

[B]

You know, this is perfect for every holiday.

[A]

Yeah, it's just a fun conversation piece. And my husband bought an electric guitar at an auction recently that was signed from Gerald Casale from Devo.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Sits next to it. So it seems like we're, you know.

[B]

Right. You're on the way to become the Doors. Exactly. You just need, I think, drums and then you're the Doors.

[A]

Well, I think my. My organ has the drums, so.

[B]

All right, we're ready to be. You should start a Doors cover band.

[A]

I'm so glad I came here today. You are full of good ideas.

[B]

That's what the number one thing this podcast does is produce money making concepts and ideas and then inform people of the news. That's why people come here. I say it all the time. It's a utility before anything else. That's why people tune in for the headlines and for the business concept, for.

[A]

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[B]

Are you two Devo fans?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Oh, I just watched the documentary.

[A]

Really good, right?

[B]

Fantastic.

[A]

We just saw them at the Hollywood bowl with Lena lovich and the B52s.

[B]

That sounds amazing.

[A]

That was an amazing show.

[B]

The last time. I've only seen the B52s once, and it was a at a pharmaceutical rep conference that we snuck into.

[A]

So you were not a rep yourself?

[B]

Not yet.

[A]

You snuck in?

[B]

I snuck in. Got to see them play in, like, a hotel ballroom.

[A]

I love this.

[B]

They're such a fun band. Live.

[A]

They're such a fun band, and I grew up listening to them. When I got elementary school, I went to a private Christian school. Then I went to a public junior high school.

[B]

Oh, what a transition.

[A]

Yeah, it was quite jarring. But that's when I got into all the good music that, like, would shape the rest of my life.

[B]

Right, right.

[A]

So you know. Absolutely. The B52s, Duran Duran, Devo. Like, that's when it was like, oh, it's on.

[B]

So much good music then.

[A]

So much good music.

[B]

You a New Order fan? Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. I haven't seen Divo. I've never seen Devo live.

[A]

Well, you know, you better get on that. I know they're elder statesmen now.

[B]

Yes. Right.

[A]

But they put on an incredible show.

[B]

They're still in costume?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Doing it all.

[A]

Doing it all.

[B]

Why didn't I go to the show? How do people find out about what's happening at the Hollywood Wall? The only way I find out is by seeing people posting that they're at the thing I want to be at.

[A]

Well, you gotta put a bit of effort into it. So I'm a concert person.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I love going to shows, so I am signed up for, like, every ticket service. Like, get me on your newsletter. I want to know who's in town, so I stay on top of that.

[B]

What's the most recent thing you saw?

[A]

It was that show. It was that show. Prior to that, we saw Simple Minds at the Forum.

[B]

Oh, that sounds fun.

[A]

Which was really cool.

[B]

Wow. So you're really doing it up then.

[A]

I spend some money to go to shows. Cause for a long time, my husband and I couldn't travel, so it was like, well, okay, so we'll do this.

[B]

Right? Right? Do you dance while you're at shows?

[A]

I'm annoying.

[B]

Oh, I love to hear this.

[A]

I'm a participator. I am a participator deluxe. So if you tell me to wave my hands in the air, I will wave my hands. And the person sitting next to me and the person behind me, like, let's come on. We paid good money for these. Se show the artist that we're into it.

[B]

You're part of a team. The band is up there playing. They need you to do something.

[A]

Yes. They do not want to look down at your scowling ass. They want to know that you're having a good time.

[B]

Absolutely. Yeah. I was just at a show and I felt embarrassed to be in the audience because people were being such bad participants. I think that's kind of an LA thing. People are too cool to participate, and it's like, well, you're hurting everyone's feelings on stage now.

[A]

What were you watching?

[B]

Well, I went to. There's a band called Snow Caps.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And there was a guy who opened named Mike Kroll, who I adore, and I went to see. It's a whole. It's a whole thing. Have you ever heard of the band Waxahachie?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. So she and her sister have been in various bands. They're now in a new band. Mike is one of their husbands, but I'm a fan of all of them independently. But he's a little bit louder.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

They're not quite as loud. So the audience, I think, was not quite prepared to have somebody noisy.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But he was having the time of his life. He takes a ladder into the audience and climbs up the ladder. I mean, he does it all. There was a confetti cannon. The fact that people weren't moving. Infuriating.

[A]

That's so weird.

[B]

It's very odd. You're just. It's uncomfortable to just stand there with your arms folded.

[A]

I mean, unless you're going to the symphony.

[B]

Right. If you're in a seat. Okay. If you're standing, if there's a beat and you're not moving, you're torturing yourself.

[A]

There's something wrong with you.

[B]

Yeah. It's not natural.

[A]

It's not natural.

[B]

Yeah. So I was an A student.

[A]

Good for you.

[B]

I was moving. I was shouting. I never shout words at what's happening on stage.

[A]

Okay. You never say smile.

[B]

I never shout. A song request. Have you ever. Do you ever do that?

[A]

No.

[B]

That, to me, is a huge line crossed. You're not the manager of the show. You're not running things.

[A]

Yeah. You're not at a bar.

[B]

You're not at a bar. It's not a karaoke.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Let them. You know, they have a set list.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

They've prepared. They don't want to hear their number one hit being. You know, that's always the thing. It's their biggest song being yelled at them. How annoying.

[A]

How annoying. I hate that.

[B]

I feel like I'm kind of the model concert goer. I feel like you probably are, too. Then there's always, I think, one woman who's too drunk. Mm. And she's upsetting everyone because she's going too far.

[A]

Too far. I saw that once at a Squeeze show. So it was Squeeze. Oh, God.

[B]

You've got great taste in music. Thank you.

[A]

Squeeze and hall O notes.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Fun show.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

This woman was really feeling herself. And it was maybe 15 minutes in, and she was already all liquored up. And a fist fight broke out. Cause she wouldn't sit down. And this was right when things started opening back up again. So people were kind of feral. Like, I don't know how to be in public anymore. I just know how to watch things on a big screen and pause when I have to go to the bathroom. Well, you can't do that in real life, you know? And you can't look at something and move your fingers like this and make it bigger, you know? Or make someone sit down or disappear. It was embarrassing to watch. Yes.

[B]

Did she. Was she escorted out?

[A]

No.

[B]

Wow. Amazing.

[A]

Which was surprising, especially at the bowl.

[B]

It feels like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There's some decorum there.

[A]

I'm pretty sure something else was happening somewhere else in the arena.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

It was so early into it that people were still getting into their seats and blah blah, blah. But yeah, I was surprised that that went off the way it did.

[B]

I guess if you're gonna have a fist fight, save it for the beginning of the show so we can move on.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Have you ever come close to being in a fight publicly?

[A]

Yes. Yeah. Also at a concert. Well, here's the thing. If I spend money to sit in.

[B]

The first row, sure.

[A]

I'm sitting there. You're not sitting there. You don't know. This is a thing that happens now at concerts where everybody wants to come straight up to the front, turn around, get their selfie and they don't care where you are, they just get in your space. A lot of times they're rip roaring drunk. And just to give you a little background, my husband has a deep brain stimulation device.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

So it's right there at the top of his head. And I'm always very much like, gotta keep your head safe.

[B]

Right, of course, totally.

[A]

So when people start really getting in our business and then they start storming the stage or just getting too close cause it's selfie time, it makes me uneasy. So I start getting like, hey, what did I just say? I really turned into a bitch. Don't come near my.

[B]

You need to.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're kind of forced to in those situations.

[A]

Yeah. Like I'm starting to feel unsafe. Security has been called. They can't keep you people back. I'm a little unnerved.

[B]

Yeah. I think that is something coming out of the pandemic that people have forgotten about personal space like or where their body is in space. That's something that really sets me off is when my space is invaded by someone who's just like not aware that of others existence.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

It's just immediately I'm at a 10. I'm not doing anything about it. I'm just seething. But there's something about just please take a look around. Just be slightly aware of what's going on around you.

[A]

Exactly. Like at no point should your hair be flipped into my lipstick.

[B]

I do not want to taste anything on your scalp.

[A]

Exactly. Right. Right.

[B]

I'll let you know when I want to taste you. And that happens more often than you would think.

[A]

Yes it does. Yes it does.

[B]

Well, anyway, speaking of invading space and not behaving yourself, I was looking forward to having you here today.

[A]

Oh, thank you.

[B]

I thought Wendy will come by. We'll have a nice chat, we'll move on with our days. No hurt feelings, no boundaries crossed.

[A]

You know, I certainly shan't cross the boundaries.

[B]

I'm sorry.

[A]

Maybe I already have.

[B]

The podcast is called I said no gifts and I walk in today and I see you've got a gift.

[A]

Well, that's really hard for me because gifts are my love language.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

So I'm really sorry to disobey, okay? But I think you're gonna love what I got you. And you better not start crying from emotion.

[B]

I can't make any promises. I guess we'll open it here on the podcast. Forget everything you had planned for this weekend because you are sitting on your couch and winning from the comfort of your own home. I'm here with spinquest where you can play hundreds of slot games, all the table games you love, and you could even win real cat. New users $30 coin packs are on sale for 10 at spinquest.com SpinQuest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[C]

Hey, this is Danielle Robay, host of Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club, a podcast where great stories, bold women, and irresistible conversations collide. You know, cotton is a part of so many of life's everyday comforts, from what we wear to what we wrap ourselves in. And it's especially present in the quiet, cozy moments, like reading a book you can't put down. Which brings me to our new segment, the Book Nook, where we explore the rituals that make reading feel just right for me. That means Cotton Everything. I live in la. It's summer, and even when it's warm, I want to feel wrapped up and relaxed. When I'm home, I curl up with this super soft cotton blanket. It's lightweight and breathable and perfect for long reading stretches. I've got my favorite matching cotton lounge set on, too. It's basically my reading uniform, and I'm nestled on my couch by the window, iced coffee clinking, book in hand. It's truly my ideal reading setup. Thanks to Cotton for bringing this segment to life and reminding us that comfort and style can go hand in hand. Don't forget to check the tag for Cotton. And if you want to learn more, head to thefabricofarlives.com Gentlemen, I propose a.

[A]

Toast to our good friend Dave. You inspired this epic guy's weekend.

[B]

I'm sorry you're missing it.

[A]

Everyone knows that when you fly, you need to bring a real ID or a passport.

[B]

Everyone but Dave.

[A]

So here's to finally figuring out how to get on an airplane. Dave, we'll see you tomorrow.

[B]

And I'm glad you could rebook your flight. Like, he would have loved this restaurant. Does your ID fly? Find out if you have an acceptable form of [e-mail] realid@tj maxx, feel more.

[A]

You than ever without compromise. Because we never make you choose the quality you want, the styles you crave, and the prices you love. It's all at TJ Maxx, so you can focus on just being you. With so many finds arriving daily, that means so many ways to show your unique style. Shop in store and [e-mail] and Max, what makes you you.

[B]

All right. Ooh. Okay.

[A]

I'm so excited.

[B]

Is this a beetle on this bag? Who is this?

[A]

I. I feel like that's Penny Marshall. Maybe it's from the Gary Marshall Theater, but that has nothing to do with the gift inside.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. Reaching into the bag. Bag here. Oh. Oh, it's larger. Oh, I'm out of control right now. Trying to.

[A]

Oh, yes.

[B]

Is this hello Kitty brand toilet paper?

[A]

It is.

[B]

It is.

[A]

It's something I like to get for all the men in my life. And I poked a hole in the bottom so you can smell it.

[B]

Oh, it's.

[A]

It smells like candy.

[B]

Wow. It's like strawberry.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What? Or. Yeah, it is straw. Wow, that's.

[A]

Isn't that delicious?

[B]

This is incredible. Where did this.

[A]

That came from? Tokyo Central Grocery in Gardena.

[B]

What?

[A]

I don't know if you've ever been to that store.

[B]

No, I haven't.

[A]

It is such a treat.

[B]

What is it a huge place?

[A]

It's a huge grocery store full of, well, department store, really full of stuff straight from Japan.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But also, like, housewares. The best produce section you can go to.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Weird things like this. Cosmetics. Oh, my God. You want your K Beauty. Well, they've got it there, too. Sushi restaurant on top. I don't eat sushi, but people tell me it's amazing. But weird little things like this.

[B]

This is amazing. How often are you going to this place?

[A]

I just discovered it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So I'm gonna be going a lot because I think I need to buy that toilet paper. You wouldn't buy it yourself?

[B]

No, of course not. This is a real gift.

[A]

It's a real gift.

[B]

How often are you regularly buying hello Kitty toilet?

[A]

Because I think it's probably not great for you with that scent.

[B]

What an interesting thing to have a scent. Fascinating.

[A]

But see, look what you can do. You can break that Whole thing apart and give individual roles to your loved ones.

[B]

Oh, very smart. And I guess it can bring a scent to a bathroom.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it fills the bathroom with a strawberry scent. I guess it's not so much for holding up to your face as it is just a general.

[A]

Just a general, like, I'm Bridger. I'm awesome. Here's my toilet paper. This is.

[B]

I want that on a table.

[A]

This is what I require. Okay.

[B]

Did you get anything else while you were there?

[A]

Yes, we got those giant pears that look like they're wrapped in gauze. Oh, my husband loves those.

[B]

I don't think I've ever had one of these.

[A]

Oh, well, I would love to say that I've had one, but he eats them all before I can get them home. They have the best snacks that are good for, like, stocking stuffers or whatever. In my family, we don't buy each other gifts anymore. We just give, like, dumb little things.

[B]

Right, right.

[A]

So, you know, oh, here's a gorgeous little bowl for you. And I bought a lot of sheet masks, Bridger. So many sheet masks.

[B]

Do you have a particular sheet mask you like or are you just experimenting?

[A]

I'm experimenting. But the thing is, they give them to you in bulk. Oh, so you're like, oh, I need niacinamide on my face. Sure I do. Oh, here's one with 50 for the low, low price of 7 bucks. I can't afford not to get it.

[B]

How often are you doing a face mask? You have very nice skin. Glowing.

[A]

Oh, thank you. I also wear six pounds of makeup at all times. But how often am I doing that? Not maybe once a week. I know some people do it every day.

[B]

That seems like a lot to me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Where are you finding the time?

[A]

When are you finding the time? That's what I want to know. With these people and their 12 step skincare thing. How much can the dermis really absorb?

[B]

Right. It makes no sense to me. You watch one of those things, like once a year. I'll be like, okay, I should probably do something. And then I look them up and I'm like, oh, this is a whole. I have to. It's a career.

[A]

Yeah. I have to start my bedtime ritual at 5:30.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

You know, and then lay perfectly still all night. I don't know.

[B]

How am I supposed to watch TV until the last possible minute if I have to start doing my skin routine?

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

That's 40 steps long and it's often wet, so it seems difficult to me.

[A]

And requires so many like poking and prodding instruments. Oh, God, yeah.

[B]

Daily. I can't imagine.

[A]

Yeah. I can't imagine now how gorgeous would we both be if we adhered to this?

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

But you know what? I think we're pretty cute.

[B]

We're adorable.

[A]

You've got amazing skin yourself. Clearly you are sunscreening.

[B]

Well, I have to.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, this complexion. I went through a lot of years of sunburns. And did you? I grew up in the 90s and early thousands when being tan was where it was at. And unfortunately, that's just simply not an option for me.

[A]

It's not.

[B]

But there were many attempts you would try. There were a lot of attempts.

[A]

Did you lay in a bed? In a tanning bed or did you just.

[B]

I have laid in a bed. Not. Not enough for it to be dangerous. But there were a couple attempts where someone should have stepped in somebody that was predatory on the part of the tanning salon.

[A]

They'll sell you the membership. They'll sell you the little card.

[B]

You should have to get a license. They should, like have to look at your skin and see if it'll even take.

[A]

They should say to you with those blonde eyelashes, absolutely not. No, you gotta leave.

[B]

You shouldn't even be able to be in the parking lot.

[A]

You need to have a parasol. Yes.

[B]

I think I'm headed towards parasol territory.

[A]

What's the downside?

[B]

What is the downside?

[A]

What is the downside? We do what we want these days. Okay.

[B]

It's a conversation piece. It's protecting you from UV rays.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Doubles. For when the rain comes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Have you been to Japan?

[A]

I have, but it's been like 30 years. Oh, yeah.

[B]

You've got to get back.

[A]

I know.

[B]

It's the best place in the world.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's just an absolute dream at every turn. That's where I had this diet soda I was talking about.

[A]

Tell me about your diet soda. I drink. My blood is mostly made up of diet soda.

[B]

Oh, mine too. You're looking at just entirely Diet Coke person. This was a Pepsi Zero Peach. And I can say this, I'm not advertising it because it was a limited edition. Not only time wise, but also to an area of Japan. There was like a small part of like Kyoto or something where they had this magic drink. And I just by chance tried it, thinking this will be horrible. Changed my life really. Kind of for the worst because now I can't have it and I'll be chasing that high for the rest of my life.

[A]

But what I'm getting from this conversation Is you were in Japan recently.

[B]

Now that's what I'm trying to really bring up here.

[A]

Tell me about Japan. How long were you there?

[B]

I was there for 10 days. Okay. And spent most of it in Tokyo and Kyoto.

[A]

Oh my goodness.

[B]

And it's just for me, I've been there twice now. I went there about 10 years ago and then last spring. And it kind of ruins traveling for you because you just think, why would I go elsewhere when I can go to Japan and just have a lovely easy time where things are endlessly fascinating. There's always something to look at. So much good food. You never feel in danger. You can just wander and be curious. It's my favorite place in the world.

[A]

Even the grocery stores? Yes. Or just any little sundry shop. You go in and you're gonna find something that's worthy of being taken home.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This is what I. It's like, I feel like for Japanese people, it's probably boring to walk around. Sure. But it's like I could just wander around a neighborhood that's essentially the equivalent of, I don't know, a neighborhood in Ohio. And I'm looking at everything and having a good time. And it's just, you know, like appliance stores, what have you, such a nice time. The flight is difficult.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I can't be on a flight for more than about 40 minutes before I'm in agony. So for it to be on it for 12 hours or something. Oh, thank you.

[A]

And then when you came home, there's like a re entry period. You feel a little odd. Cause you're like.

[B]

Feel insane.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Because when you get there, there's really. No. I really didn't have that much jet lag. But the return, it was like two weeks of hell. Just waking up in the middle of the night, just fully awake, ready to go on a walk. Many sleepless nights. So it's tough. Do you travel much?

[A]

I do mostly for work.

[B]

Okay, sure.

[A]

I hate being on planes. I'm not scared.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I just don't. I just get so restless and like, I can't get comfortable even if I the lay down bed or whatever. But I can speak to the long flight thing of like, am I getting thrombosis? But wait, so have you seen all these places in like rural Japan where you can just buy a house that's been abandoned?

[B]

No.

[A]

And they're cheap and you get everything that's in the house. Now that can be a nightmare.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

That can also be like a gold mine.

[B]

This is a horror movie. But by a house full of cursed objects.

[A]

Yeah, hopefully they're not cursed, but. Yeah, they're like actively seeking people to come and take over these abandoned houses.

[B]

Why is that, do you know?

[A]

I don't know if it's just that these places are not populated enough and they want people.

[B]

Interesting. Right. Because there's a population issue in Japan of the aging population, not enough babies or something like that. Right.

[A]

Yeah. But there's other places, like rural parts of Italy where you can do the same thing. But something tells me Japan, it might be easier to do that because the work ethic is different.

[B]

Oh, sure, sure.

[A]

So if you need a repairman, they will show up.

[B]

Right. Italy's a little more loosey goosey suggestion.

[A]

That maybe I'll have help with your plumbing at some point.

[B]

You know, my boyfriend's Italian, so we can just say they're a terrible people.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Can't count on them Italian know about that.

[A]

I just know they have a different way of living, you know?

[B]

Yes. I feel like Japan has maybe more of an infrastructure for that kind of thing, but maybe we're wrong. Maybe you just end up in a haunted house in the middle of the Japanese countryside and you're being.

[A]

You're screwed.

[B]

Terrorized by the little girl from the. Well, the ring gal.

[A]

Yeah. Okay, well, let's not look into that further.

[B]

Yeah, let's. Absolutely. Do you feel like that's something you would enjoy moving into the rural countryside or. That drive you crazy?

[A]

No, I don't think I could do it. I don't think I could do it. We finally bought like a little vacation place. Cause we'd never had one before.

[B]

Sure, sure.

[A]

And that's in New Orleans. Oh, that's nice. And that's about as far away as I'm comfortable owning something.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know what I mean? And it's small. I don't want a big thing that I have to worry about. And I don't want an Airbnb. Airbnb, anything. So this was a situation that came up that made absolute sense, and that's great, but I don't think I could own something in another country.

[B]

How often are you going to New Orleans?

[A]

Gosh, whenever we can. We're not on a set schedule. And it all depends on what I have to do, work wise. But I wanted to go for Christmas this year, but it looks like they've got a lot of the French Quarter torn up. Oh, and that's where they.

[B]

Big renovation.

[A]

Yeah, big street renovation. Nothing they do makes any sense.

[B]

But.

[A]

It is a Fun place to go, especially. I've never been.

[B]

Especially what? Never been. There are a couple American cities where I just, for whatever reason, have never been that I'd really like to go to. But there's never for a real reason.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I don't drink.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And good for you. No, not. It's neither good nor bad. It's just something I don't do. It's. I'm not interested in drinking. So it's like. I know that is part of the experience and just kind of a party atmosphere.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I imagine there are other things to enjoy. The food is probably wonderful.

[A]

See, I don't eat shellfish, so the food is not okay.

[B]

So it's not really fun.

[A]

I know I'm saying something really sacrilegious here, but I'm a music person.

[B]

Oh, okay. So there you go.

[A]

That's my thing. Cause, I mean, the minute you walk out the door in the morning, music's playing, there's a brass band playing somewhere. It's like living in the middle of Disneyland almost.

[B]

You know, the dream. Yeah.

[A]

Or there's people dancing down the street or some random parade. It's just a really fun atmosphere. And the history is nuts.

[B]

Right. And then I'm sure. I would love to go on a ghost tour. I would love to go on a swamp tour. These are things that appeal to me. Yeah. I guess I just have to say that's where I'm going on vacation.

[A]

Yes, definitely.

[B]

How many days is right for. It feels Vegas Y in a way where it's like, it might be a lot, you know, like, you don't need to be there for a long time.

[A]

I'd say four or five days.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You know, and then. And then all that energy kind of gets to you.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And you're like, okay, okay, it's time to go back and, you know, get out of this little bubble. But it is a fascinating place.

[B]

Have you been on a swamp tour? Yes. Did you see alligators, gators? Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Terrifying.

[A]

Well, you know, there's the Honey island swamp, which is what they photographed to use in the Princess and the Frog.

[B]

Okay. Sure.

[A]

It's actually beautiful as swamps go. But, you know, it's on the Gulf, so that brackish water, you could get a bull shark in there as well. Louisiana people are just built different.

[B]

A shark and a swan, a shark.

[A]

And a gator, maybe some snakes. It's like, okay, well, I don't want any of that. Like, I wanna look at these things from a distance. Please don't take Me near a bull shark?

[B]

Wow. Please.

[A]

If you're telling me a snake is gonna drop from those trees, we're not going near those trees.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

But I saw we were on a swamp tour, and this. They. Some places they give you marshmallows to throw to the gators. Other places will give you, like, a protein ball. Some weird protein marshmallow.

[B]

Doesn't make a ton of sense for gator bait. But who am I to say they love them? Okay. They have a sweet tooth.

[A]

They have a sweet tooth, which also makes them diabetic if you feed them too many marshmallows. Just like with people, you don't want to do that. But this man said, oh, can I have one of those protein balls? He opened it up and put the ashes of his dead best friend and fed it to a gator. Because she was such a gator person, that is what she wanted. So he carried out her last wishes on this tour, and it was kind of like, God, that's so weird. But also, what a good friend.

[B]

Very sweet. And now I have a way I want to be disposed of. Maybe not even as ash. Just throw my body in the swamp. Just let the alligators go crazy with me. That should be a thing.

[A]

That should be a thing. If that's what you really want. Yes.

[B]

It's your bottle.

[A]

You should have it. You should have it. Also, I'm thinking that's a good business to go into, right?

[B]

Kind of like mortuary alligator feeding farm.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The bodies just get taken out to the swamp and launched in there. And then the alligators go nuts.

[A]

Here we go. Another brilliant business idea.

[B]

The amount of millionaires this podcast has launched. Listeners. Hopefully they're listening and, you know, taking this advice, somebody in New Orleans right now is saying, I need money. Yeah, here it is. Go to mortuary school and buy a swamp boat.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Maybe a catapult. You're in business.

[A]

I love this.

[B]

I feel like that's a totally fine thing to ask for. Wow. Ash in a ball. Yeah. Did he. Did he have to ask permission or they just.

[A]

Well, he did say, hey, this is what I'm gonna do.

[B]

Okay. He's got a gun and he's telling.

[A]

Everybody, yeah, this is. You know, this is what I'm about to accomplish here. And I did get it on video.

[B]

Oh, fantastic.

[A]

Because I just couldn't believe what I was seeing. Like, that is the last thing in the world I thought I was gonna see that day. But it really was like, that's so weird. But your weird friend wanted that and you made sure she got it.

[B]

God does, you know. Do you have any preference about when you die? Cremation or burial?

[A]

Whatever's easiest.

[B]

That's kind of how I feel, you know, nobody spend any time or money.

[A]

Just be done with it. Don't drag it out.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That's one of the saddest things when someone, you know, passes and then, well, we gotta do this. And then we gotta have a big, long, you know, period of this. And so, and so can't come in for a month. So we gotta hold off like God to prolong that goodbye.

[B]

Yes. Make it snappy.

[A]

Just make it snappy.

[B]

That's a good idea. The name for the funeral home, make it snappy and the alligators are snapping. This is all coming together and truly, what a pack.

[A]

I love this so much. What if you just like launched them right off the back of your facility? So if you had like a mortuary that was on stilts near the swamp, you just launch them right out the back door.

[B]

Everyone say your goodbyes, make it snappy.

[A]

Have some macaroni and then get out. We have another, you know. Yeah.

[B]

Wow. This is. I think this is the legitimate business concept that this podcast has ever gotten to. I'll take this to Shark Tank and see who bites. See who bites. Maybe there are just too many words for succeeding that have to do with biting. Yeah, snappy bite. Interesting. But make it snappy. Funeral Home, New Orleans. Coming. Give me three years. Probably a few permits I have to get through or whatever.

[A]

Probably. Probably.

[B]

How long does it take to go to mortuary school?

[A]

I don't know. But then you gotta construct the right, you know.

[B]

Right. The right structure.

[A]

Structure. There'll be some hurricanes between now and then.

[B]

What do you do during hurricane season? I guess you just throw them into the hurricane.

[A]

And then they end up where they end up.

[B]

Yeah. On top of somebody's house, probably. Which is fine.

[A]

At that point. It just doesn't matter.

[B]

Are you much of a hello Kitty person?

[A]

Not really. Not really. Growing up, I wanted to be a hello Kitty person, but my parents would not buy me that stuff.

[B]

Right, right.

[A]

So, you know, they were very smart about, hey, we're not buying you Barbies because that's taken us down a road of expensive.

[B]

Right. That you buy one and then suddenly accessories galore. Exactly. Kind of thing.

[A]

Same with hello Kitty.

[B]

So what were they getting you into?

[A]

They liked learning based things. And once I started taking dance classes, it was all about that.

[B]

Right. You're a dancer.

[A]

Well, sure.

[B]

What kind of dance?

[A]

I was For a long time. I was.

[B]

For a long time. What sort of dancing were you doing?

[A]

Jazz and ballet. Because my sister and I grew up like really fast.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So we were just these giant gangly girls that had no grace whatsoever. So my parents were like, well, we gotta fix this.

[B]

We gotta beat it into them. Gotta do something via tap.

[A]

Tap dancing. That'll bring it all together. No, but they put us in ballet and then it kind of stuck and we did.

[B]

How long did you do dance? Like into high school or was it into my 30s? Wow, that's amazing.

[A]

But that's why I went to Japan, was I was on a tour. A dance tour.

[B]

We've really buried the lead here.

[A]

Well, it's not that exciting now, but.

[B]

Yeah, that's exciting to me. You were dancing in Japan?

[A]

In Japan, in 1992?

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

Yeah, all around. I mean, I'm glad I got to go to Japan that way, of course. Because I didn't have to pay for anything. And I was getting paid.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I got to see a lot of the country, you know. Was our show good? No, it sucked. I'm embarrassed when I look at the pictures, but that's okay. Cause we didn't have phones then. So the footage doesn't live anywhere. And yeah, I had a lot of fun memories there.

[B]

What was the show like? What were they advertising it as?

[A]

So it was like a Latin review. Okay, so you're looking at me going, yes, I see why you were cast.

[B]

That was the big assumption. Yes.

[A]

But this was the summer of the Olympics in Spain.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So it was like a Spanish.

[B]

A little Taste of Spain.

[A]

Exactly. So we had, you know, we did Spanish themed numbers. And a vocalist that sang is very stupid. So some.

[B]

What song have you dressed in?

[A]

Let's see, like, you know those big mambo ruffles you wear on your arms. Okay. And like a bikini looking thing or. Horrible. Just horrible little outfits. Terrible, terrible. And those shiny ugly ass tights that people are wearing now, of course, that are like the color of your Diet Coke. But put them on a fair skinned person, it's fine, you know. And they make your legs look chunky cause they're shiny. And for some reason every pop star now is wearing those shiny ugly tights.

[B]

That's one of those fashion choices where you're like, we all know now it doesn't look good. In 10 years it's going to look even worse. You're gonna be looking at the video and being like, I knew even then it was the bad choice to make.

[A]

I knew I shouldn't have been hip hop dancing in a majorette uniform, but I did it anyway.

[B]

And look where you are now.

[A]

Look where you are now, Ms. Lopez.

[B]

Were there big audiences for these shows?

[A]

Sometimes. Wow. So like sometimes we would perform in these beautiful clubs, you know, had bandstands, maybe look like, like Ricky Ricardo might come out, you know, beautiful. And then other times it was like, wait, is this a Pizza Hut at four in the afternoon? But. Or you know, like a beautiful hotel ballroom or something like that.

[B]

Fascinating. How long were you in Japan for?

[A]

The tour lasted about a month.

[B]

Okay. You know, it's a dream trip.

[A]

It was really fun.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah, really fun.

[B]

I feel like you should do a revival. The next time you step foot in Japan. Should be on another dance trip tour.

[A]

I'll do it, but you have to come with me.

[B]

I will be the manager.

[A]

All right. Well, can't you do like a tight.

[B]

10 on, you know, I can do a. I'll dance.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'll learn. I'll learn a few numbers.

[A]

You'll learn. Get a few eight counts together. That's all it takes.

[B]

Yes. You and I do a taste of Spain 2. Yes.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

All over Japan.

[A]

I love this. We're going to sing.

[B]

What does this Spanish sound like?

[A]

Oh, well, I just. I just messed that up. I don't know. We'll work on it. We'll work on it.

[B]

We've got a workshop. These are the behind the scenes details.

[A]

Certainly our friends and family will want to weigh in.

[B]

Yeah, of course. As they do. As they do. Well, is there anything left we have to say about hello Kitty strawberry toilet paper?

[A]

Just that you should enjoy every square of that.

[B]

I apologize.

[A]

Don't go, you know, toilet papering someone's house.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

You should do that as a yes. We did. We did.

[B]

What a thrill.

[A]

What a thrill.

[B]

What a harmless thrill.

[A]

I mean, you know what else we did too? What is we would spray paint the driveways. We did this. Wow. People let us.

[B]

Vandalism.

[A]

It is such vandalism. But when we were in high school, this is the 80s, for some reason in our school district, this is what everybody did. You would go out in the middle of the night, one of your little 17 year old friends with a Volkswagen Squareback would cram 10 people in and you would spray paint the stencils of whatever club you were in.

[B]

Oh, interesting.

[A]

So I was in, you know, dance and I was a cheerleader and all this. So still in front of my parents house. We have those stencils.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

You know or water polo. 87 in the apron of your driveway.

[B]

The dorkiest version of graffiti possible.

[A]

So stupid. And we also had friends, fraternities and sororities in my high school.

[B]

In high school.

[A]

Yes. Not sanctioned by the school, but they still did it. But they had their own stencils. And so you would, you know, just muck up the entire block.

[B]

What a stencil centric education.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Toilet papering is as far as we ever got, but I'd love to do that again. But I feel like once you get past 18, you can be arrested and then it becomes a realistic.

[A]

Yeah. And also because we went through the toilet paper shortage during the, you know, don't feel pretty.

[B]

A little precious about. I kind of am with certain. Like, there are certain things I'll see in my cupboard. It's like a food. It's like probably going to expire or has been expired. And I think I'll just leave it there just in case.

[A]

Just in case.

[B]

In case there's a run on the grocery store. It's a terrible feeling.

[A]

That's a drum of balsamic vinegar from 2010. Now, if I know my vinegars, it just gets better.

[B]

Yeah, of course.

[A]

So I'll hang on to it. I'll put it down in the basement next to the organ. Because, you see, that's how we're tying it all together.

[B]

Well, I think we should play a game. We're going to play a game called Gift or a Curse. But I need a number between one and ten from you. Okay. I have to do some light calculating to get our game pieces. So right now you can promote, recommend, do whatever you want. I'll be right back.

[A]

Okay, so, hi, Everybody, it's Wendy McLendon Covey. And I just want you to watch St. Denis Medical on NBC every Monday night at 8. Next day on Peacock, because, you know, that's how we do things now. And I hope you all are having a beautiful new year.

[B]

Gorgeous. Okay, Everybody go watch St. Denis Medical. We have a lot of friends on that show. Past guests, etc.

[A]

How fun.

[B]

And it's a good show. Fun, comedy. What a nice thing to have on television. It's a novelty to have comedy. Yeah. Okay, this is how we play Gift or a Curse. I'm going to name three things. You'll tell me if they're a gift or a curse, and why.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

And then I'll tell you if you're a writer.

[A]

Wrong.

[B]

Because there are correct answers. People have failed before. It's ruined their Lives. So just be very careful, all right? All right. This first one is from a Patreon listener named Corey. Gift or a curse? Seasonal color analysis.

[A]

That is a curse, and I'll tell you why. I had my colors analyzed back when this nonsense started, which was the early 80s. I am a summer.

[B]

Okay, okay.

[A]

Do you know how hard it is to find colors in that palette without dragging the damn book with you everywhere?

[B]

Okay, what colors are in the summer?

[A]

Okay, so summer, you're not supposed to wear black. Okay, well, I'm sorry, but that is the cornerstone of my life.

[B]

And everyone looks good in black.

[A]

Pretty much. Except summers. Should be wearing navy blue.

[B]

Oh, interesting.

[A]

But I'm not gonna be told that I can't wear navy or that I can't wear black and that I don't look good in it. Shut up. It is. I mean, look, when you see someone having their colors analyzed, you can see their face perk up or blanch out when you hold up certain things.

[B]

Oh, interesting.

[A]

But it's just another thing to obsess about. It's right up there with counting your steps and counting your macros. It's just one more thing to obsess over.

[B]

Did you go to a consultant?

[A]

No. Once again, my mother did it. She bought the book called Color Me Beautiful, and it gives your charts, and so you're supposed to take it with you shopping. Come on.

[B]

You're supposed to take it to every shopping trip.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

That is so unreasonable.

[A]

It's unreasonable.

[B]

I wonder what season I am. Oh, yes.

[A]

You are such an autumn, it's not even funny.

[B]

Okay, yes. What does that say for me, color wise?

[A]

So you are gonna go with a yellow based red, not a blue based red.

[B]

Okay, interesting.

[A]

Because you have red hair.

[B]

Okay, that's good to know.

[A]

So yellow or orange based things are your jam. Probably dark brown is your black.

[B]

Oh, interesting. I feel like green works for me. Is that true?

[A]

A yellow based green probably does, but not a blue based.

[B]

Stay away from blue based things. Yeah, because they probably make me look like a corpse. Yes, interesting.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And it'll make people want to throw you into the gator plant.

[B]

Well, maybe that's the plan, Wendy.

[A]

Okay, well, am I wrong or am I right? Is this a blessing or a curse?

[B]

You're correct. It's a curse. As you've just demonstrated, it's immediately wrong. Because everybody can wear black.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And everybody wants to be a little goth. So if you try to rule out black, any color is wrong. But that should be. Everyone should have a few black pieces in their wardrobe. And I don't want to think about. I don't want to carry a catalog. Don't tell me what to buy. Yeah, let me find out how awful I look in a color. That'll be a surprise.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

Let me wear it out in public and have people gasp, look away. And then I start to realize that's valuable feedback. That's good feedback. That's good, honest, human feedback. Not book feedback. So it's a curse. I don't need anyone to tell me what season I am. Let me choose. Yes, I'm a deep winter. Okay, number two. This is from a Patreon listener named Alice. Gift or a curse? The toilet with the big and little flush buttons dependent on contents of the toilet.

[A]

I hate those. It is a curse. Why just always use the big one? Because that little one doesn't do anything. That little one sometimes wouldn't even take one square of hello Kitty toilet paper down. No, no, no. It's gotta be the big button. Always as a courtesy for the next person.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Thank you. No one uses that. Nobody ever obeys the little button. No. Why would you use the little button?

[A]

And aren't you really just pressing them both?

[B]

Right? Do I have to read a book on how to use this thing? I don't need to think about the toilet. The contents of the toilet are not the toilet's business. You know, I will just push the big button and move on with my idea.

[A]

Make it go away.

[B]

No one's ever using the little button. No one's that responsible. And if they are, they're, again, probably making a mistake for the next person who's using it. There should be no room for error in toilets.

[A]

Yeah, and if someone's gifting you a toilet, I don't want to know why. I don't wanna know what's wrong with you.

[B]

Can you imagine getting a toilet as a gift?

[A]

I can't.

[B]

It's a tough one.

[A]

How do you bluff your way through that? Thank you. You know, how do you move on? Although I will say there is a store in New Orleans that sells these beautiful customized toilet seats.

[B]

Really? What sort of toilet seats do you.

[A]

Want your favorite singer airbrushed on a toilet seat the way you might on the side of a van? Very swanky.

[B]

Have you bought any?

[A]

No, not yet.

[B]

Not yet.

[A]

Not yet.

[B]

There's nothing that makes a bathroom feel dirtier than a toilet seat that's not just a white toilet seat. Yeah.

[A]

It needs to be a pristine white toilet seat. Otherwise, maybe with a fluffy little Cover.

[B]

An absolute playground for disease.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Bacteria everywhere. Okay, you've gotten two right so far. Very good. Finally, this is from a listener named Adrian. Gift her a curse. When couples say we're pregnant, that is a curse. Why?

[A]

That is so gross. We're pregnant. No, no, no, no, no, no.

[B]

Wrong.

[A]

No.

[B]

This is a gift, Wendy. This is an absolute gift.

[A]

Is it a gift?

[B]

We all know that both partners are doing the exact amount of work within this pregnancy.

[A]

You're right. Said the childless woman.

[B]

The childless man.

[A]

You're right.

[B]

I see the argument to say. I think that every couple should say we're pregnant. Every couple should share a social media account. Totally healthy, totally normal.

[A]

They should wear the same pajamas.

[B]

They should wear matching pajamas.

[A]

I'm not saying matching. I'm saying same, like in tandem. It's like a tandem jammas.

[B]

Tandem jammas again?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Here we've got a new idea. Oh, tandem jammies.

[A]

You are so inspirational.

[B]

I know, I know. Unfortunately, you're not, because you got that one wrong. And you've damn only got two out of three right. That's gotta sting a little bit.

[A]

It does.

[B]

Well, you'll learn eventually. You'll learn. All right, this is the final segment of the podcast. People are writing into I saidnogiftsmail.com. they're begging for answers. Will you help me answer a question?

[A]

I would love to.

[B]

All right. Hello, Bridger and fabulous guest. That's nice. A dear friend of mine is getting married and is the anti bridezilla. For example, there will be no bridesmaids because she doesn't want anyone to feel obligated to wear a certain outfit, plan a bachelorette party, or generally spend any extra money or time on anything. Here is the conundrum. Her family has decided to throw her a bridal shower against her will, and our group of friends is invited. She texted us to say that if we brought a gift, we would be uninvited to the wedding.

[A]

Ooh.

[B]

And that us acting as a buffer between her and her family was gift enough. Much like your guest. Oh, now they're putting something on you. We plan on disobeying this order and getting a collective gift. The ideal gift is something silly but maybe still useful to split between four people. So far, our only idea is a bidet. Oh, now we're getting to toilet territory. So we would appreciate any suggestions you have. The bride loves crafting, baking, and her cat. Thanks in advance. That's Miranda. So Miranda's friend is a giant pain in the ass.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

She wants it all. She doesn't want it all. She's making demands of friends and family. Were you a bridesmaid?

[A]

I wasn't, but I've been in a lot of weddings. I've been in a lot of weddings.

[B]

So you've probably seen all sorts of behavior.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

This person is. They just want a nice gift to split. The cost will be split between four people for their friend, who they obviously don't really like that much. She's writing in a nasty email about the friend to a podcast. So we know that they're not that close. And. And there's this weird emotional situation with the family inviting them to a thing that the bride doesn't want. There's probably gonna be a fight at the party or the wedding.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So what do you do to kind of smooth things over, is my question. The bidet. I don't know that that's a great gift.

[A]

No one wants you to buy them that.

[B]

Yeah, nobody wants. When someone's opening that at the party, then suddenly we're all imagining you using the bidet. Exactly.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

And the family is here.

[A]

Okay, well, let's talk first about the emotional manipulation of her saying, you better not get me anything or I will uninvite you.

[B]

Uninvite. Cruel.

[A]

Let's be serious. If they don't get you anything, she'll bitch about it forever. All right.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So I disagree with getting her, like, a fun, silly thing. Don't waste your money on something somebody can't use.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

The money's going to be spent either way.

[A]

Yeah, it's gonna be spent either way. So what you need to do is, in my opinion, give her an experience. Okay, so buy, like, a gift card for a restaurant or a hotel.

[B]

Oh, kind of even honeymoon level.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Or staycation. Or, you know, find out where they're going on the honeymoon. Get them a dinner, wherever that's gonna be.

[B]

Right, right.

[A]

But don't buy a gag gift, okay?

[B]

Nobody likes a gag gift because then.

[A]

The impetus is on them to find out what to do with this.

[B]

Where do I put this in the house?

[A]

Donate it.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Or unload it on somebody else. You know what I mean?

[B]

Now it's on the garage floor for five years. Come on. It's just like, don't leave it alone. I agree. In a large. You know, it seems like the friend doesn't like their family. I'm almost wondering, maybe you get the friend a new phone plan where the family doesn't have that number. Now, this is an idea.

[A]

Now this is just you making sense.

[B]

Once Again, Yes, I'm getting to the root of it.

[A]

A phone that they don't have access to.

[B]

Essentially a burner phone. Now, how often do you get a burner phone for your wedding?

[A]

Not very often.

[B]

Not very often.

[A]

But you are making so much sense.

[B]

Thank you. You can get them a cute little cell phone. A cell phone case. Now we're getting. It's probably a little more expensive, but it'll be worth it in the end.

[A]

Yes, yes.

[B]

And then they can stay in touch because they're obviously going to want to manipulate you in the future.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Call you screaming about what you've done wrong this time. This bride. I feel like you're not just a bridezilla. That's your whole life. No one's just in one segment of their life. Difficult.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no.

[B]

They're difficult all the time.

[A]

All the time.

[B]

And now we're just paying attention to them being difficult.

[A]

She's just a zilla.

[B]

She's a straight up Zillow.

[A]

She's a zilla about different things at different times.

[B]

Right. She. This one just happens to involve friends and family, so just be prepared for a lifetime of torture with this friend.

[A]

With this friend. But I can say it's nice that she doesn't want to have any bridesmaids because it is a pain in the ass.

[B]

It is a huge pain. It's a job. An unpaid position.

[A]

An unpaid, shitty position. That won't end.

[B]

That will never end.

[A]

It never ends. You know, there's gotta be a, you know, engagement party, a save the date throwdown.

[B]

No, thank you.

[A]

You know, this and that.

[B]

The innovations that happen within that industry are psychotic.

[A]

Psychotic.

[B]

Whoever. They have to keep the money flowing. So they're always thinking of a new event for people to have.

[A]

Exactly. And then it keeps you off balance for the first few years of your marriage because it sets a terrible precedent.

[B]

Right, Exactly.

[A]

You know, know. And it makes you believe that people are at your beck and call and they are not.

[B]

And now you're deeply in debt. The whole thing is just a disaster.

[A]

So then what? What can you do to stir the excitement back up?

[B]

Right?

[A]

Get pregnant.

[B]

And now we're in the Baby Shower industrial complex. Yeah.

[A]

Baby shower industrial complex. Yes.

[B]

Yeah. It's. It's never ending. So maybe just. Just break up the marriage. That's my advice. Break up the marriage and move on. I think we answered the question perfectly.

[A]

I think we did.

[B]

No complaints.

[A]

No.

[B]

And now I've got all this toilet paper. I'm so thrilled.

[A]

I'm so thrilled for you. This is gonna be a really expansive time for you.

[B]

Yes. There's gonna be growth in new areas of my life.

[A]

You're gonna be like, what else can I hello Kitty?

[B]

And they have something for everything they do. You can get hello Kitty on anything at this point.

[A]

Yes, you can. Yes you can.

[B]

Thank you for bringing this. Thank you for being here.

[A]

You're so welcome.

[B]

Thank you for having me Listener the podcast I'm pulling the brake slowly, gently. We're all going to move on with our days. No one is panicking. No one is sweating, no one is turning into an anxious mess and thinking about everything they've ever done wrong. We're just moving on with our days. So I'm going to let you go. I love you. Goodbye. I said no Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer is Annelise Nelson and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Tolliday. The theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann. And we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cotner. You must follow the show on Instagram at isaidnogifts. That's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I getting. And don't you want to see the gifts?

[A]

When I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you got to come to me empty handed. I said no gifts. Your presence is present enough, and. This time of year most of us are checking off our holiday gift list. But identity thieves have lists too, and your personal information might be on them. Protect your identity with Lifelock. Lifelock monitors millions of data points every second and alerts you to threats you could miss. If your identity is stolen, Lifelock will fix it, guaranteed or your money back. Make this season about joy, not identity theft. With Lifelock, save up to 40% your first [e-mail] iheartra heart terms apply.

[B]

This is Julian Edelman from Dudes on Dudes with Gronk and Jewels. Sunday mornings I've got my game day ritual coffee, lucky socks and now new Morning Uncrustable sandwiches.

[A]

It's all about that 12 gram protein.

[B]

Boost with the new Uncrustables Bright eyed.

[A]

Berry or up and apple flavors.

[B]

Bright Eye berries got of feisty receiver.

[A]

Energy up an apple. Your classic do it all tight end.

[B]

Soft pillowy, packed with protein and easy enough for Gronk to grab from the freezer. Whether you're on the couch, driving to.

[A]

The tailgate or heading to the locker room, New Morning Uncrustable Sandwiches are the MVP of snacks.

[B]

Your new Sunday kickoff ritual starts here. Here with new morning uncrustable sandwiches packed with 12 grams of protein. Janice Torres here, and I'm Austin Hankwitz. We host the podcast Mind the Business Small Business Success Stories, produced by Ruby Studio in partnership with Intuit QuickBooks.

[C]

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