Podcast
I Wish You Could Hear This
Hosted by I Wish You Could Hear This · EN
Relationship tripwires. Mental health puzzles. Confusing work dynamics. You’re not the only one scratching your head. But now you have a secret decoder ring! Each episode of I Wish You Could Hear This is packed with proven, simple, and surprising secrets that help you thrive in life, faith, and relationships. Researchers Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn have spent decades interviewing and surveying more than 40,000 people to identify the little things that make a big difference in our lives. They’re Harvard-educated, Christian authors and speakers who also happen to be happily married, analytically minded, and a whole lot of fun! Join them and their guests for real stories, real help, and real hope.
25episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
The Blind Spots Hurting Your Relationships, with Debra Fileta: Episode 41
1w ago00:43:09Tap to summarizeSUMMARY: In this episode of I Wish You Could Hear This, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn sit down with licensed professional counselor and bestselling author Debra Fileta for an honest and insightful conversation about the relationship blind spots many of us don’t realize we have. Together, they explore how emotional patterns, past wounds, and unrecognized habits can quietly shape the way we connect with others. Debra shares practical wisdom on how to grow in self-awareness, strengthen communication, and take ownership of the ways we impact the people we love. Whether you’re dating, married, leading others, or simply wanting healthier relationships, this episode offers hope-filled tools to help you break unhealthy cycles and build deeper connection. If you’ve ever wondered why relationships can feel harder than they should—or how to become a healthier version of yourself—this conversation is for you. LINKS AND RESOURCES: Book: People Skills: Your Relationships Are Only as Strong as Your Skills Website: Debra Fileta | Best Selling Author, Speaker, Psychotherapist, and Podcaster! The Kindness Challenge Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
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The Dating Recession, Part 2: Why Meaningful Relationships Feel So Hard to Find and What Helps – Episode 40
3w ago00:37:16Tap to summarizeSummary: In Part 2 of this important conversation on the modern dating recession, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn continue unpacking new research from the Institute for Family Studies on why so many marriage-minded singles are struggling to date—and what can actually help. With 70% of surveyed singles saying they want meaningful relationships but aren’t dating, the challenge is real—but not hopeless. Shaunti and Jeff revisit the key barriers discussed in Part 1 and dive into additional reasons dating feels harder today, from fear and discouragement to unclear expectations and social disconnection. Most importantly, they offer practical, research-based encouragement for singles who desire marriage, as well as parents and loved ones who want to support them. If you or someone you care about feels stuck in today’s dating landscape, this episode offers fresh insight, empathy, and a hopeful path forward toward genuine connection. Resources: Report on “The Dating Recession”. https://ifstudies.org/report-brief/state-of-our-unions-2026-the-dating-recession IFS article about young men. See point 2 for “Most unmarried young men want to marry” https://ifstudies.org/blog/young-men-are-not-checked-out-their-hopes-are-being-frustrated For Women Only link. For Men Only link Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
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Navigating the Dating Recession – Episode 39
Apr 1400:40:26Tap to summarizeSummary: In this episode, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn unpack the growing “dating recession” impacting today’s young adults. Why are so many singles ages 22 to 35 dating less or not at all? They explore the emotional, social, and cultural factors behind the trend, from fear and discouragement to a lack of confidence and connection. With practical insights and real hope, Shaunti and Jeff discuss the relationship skills that matter most, why community support is essential, and how singles can navigate today’s dating landscape with greater clarity and confidence. Resources: Report on “The Dating Recession”. https://ifstudies.org/report-brief/state-of-our-unions-2026-the-dating-recession IFS article about young men. See point 2 for “Most unmarried young men want to marry” https://ifstudies.org/blog/young-men-are-not-checked-out-their-hopes-are-being-frustrated For Women Only For Men Only link Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
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Why We 'Hoard' Hard Emotions and How to Let Go, with Laurie Davies - Episode 38
Mar 3100:50:07Tap to summarizeSummary: In this episode, Shaunti Feldhahn sits down with author Laurie Davies to unpack the powerful concept behind the book Emotional Hoarding: Letting Go of the Stuff That Keeps You Stuck. Together, they explore how holding onto hard emotions costs us. Emotional 'hoarding’ limits how we love, it keeps us stuck in regret, grudges, and shame—and, most importantly, it creates a disconnect between us and the freedom God wants us to walk in. Together, Shaunti and Laurie distinguish between emotional “baggage” and the deeper patterns of emotional hoarding, highlighting signs that you might be hoarding hard emotions, and why honest self-examination is essential to breaking free. The conversation dives into emotions such as worry, worthlessness, regret, anger, and bitterness—focusing on how scripture offers a clear path to freedom. With worry, for example, Shaunti and Laurie discuss how renewing our thinking, grounded in principles from Philippians 4:8, can close the worry loop and restore peace. As Shaunti observed in her foreword to the book: “You will never think about your inner emotional life the same way again.” Tune in to this episode for a hope-filled path for stepping into greater emotional and relational freedom. Links: lauriedavies.com Emotional Hoarding on Amazon Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
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Are You Snowplow Parenting? When Helping Your Kids Too Much Hurts Them - Episode 37
Mar 1700:37:16Tap to summarizeSummary: Parents naturally want to protect their kids from disappointment and failure—but sometimes our help can actually get in the way of their growth. In this episode, Shaunti and Jeff talk about the growing trend of “snowplow parenting,” where parents try to clear every obstacle out of their child’s path. Through stories, research insights, and practical wisdom, they explore how well-meaning parents can unintentionally prevent their kids from learning resilience and responsibility. You’ll hear why allowing natural consequences can actually be a gift—and how to support your kids without removing every challenge in front of them. For Parents Only https://shaunti.com/2024/05/how-to-stop-being-a-snowplow-parent-part-1/ https://shaunti.com/2024/05/how-to-stop-being-a-snowplow-parent-part-2/ https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/16/style/snowplow-parenting-scandal.html Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
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Navigating the Open Windows of Communication - Episode 36
Mar 300:34:04Tap to summarizeSummary: In this episode, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn unpack one of the most overlooked sources of conflict in marriage: the very different ways men and women process thoughts and emotions. Drawing on two decades of research, they explore why many women experience ongoing “open windows,” lingering worries or mental tabs that are hard to close and why many men may not even realize those windows are still open. With practical insight and empathy for both sides, Shaunti and Jeff explain the brain-based and physiological differences that shape how we handle stress and disagreement. Most importantly, they offer simple, powerful ways spouses can respond in moments of tension, turning misunderstanding into connection. If you’ve ever felt like you and your spouse were missing each other emotionally, this conversation will give you fresh clarity and practical tools to build deeper understanding. Resources: Gur, R. C., & Gur, R. E. (2017). Complementarity of sex differences in brain and behavior: From laterality to multimodal neuroimaging. Journal of Neuroscience Research, 95(1), 189–199. https://doi.org/10.1002/jnr.2383 FOR MEN ONLY FOR WOMEN ONLY Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
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Being Engaged! A Personal Chat with Our Daughter and Future Son-In-Law
Feb 1700:44:09Tap to summarizeSummary: What are young couples really wondering about as they step into engagement and marriage? In this special and deeply personal episode, Shaunti and Jeff sit down with their daughter Morgen and her fiancé Ben—just weeks before their wedding—to talk candidly about readiness, trust, faith, conflict, finances, sex, and what it really means to commit for life. Drawing from both lived experience and decades of research, this conversation blends heart, humor, and practical wisdom for engaged couples—and for parents walking alongside them. Resources: The Secrets of Sex and Marriage The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
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Episode 34: The Courage to Heal After Betrayal, with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith – Part 2
Feb 400:45:34Tap to summarizeSummary In this second part of our powerful two-part series, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn continue their heartfelt conversation with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith, diving even deeper into the healing journey after sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. Building on the foundation of honesty and vulnerability discussed in Part 1, this episode unpacks what it takes to truly rebuild trust and intimacy in a relationship that’s been deeply wounded. The Raabsmiths offer practical, grace-filled guidance for couples, emphasizing the importance of structured healing, safe community, and sustained emotional connection. You’ll hear how couples can move forward, not just surviving, but genuinely thriving through intentional steps, compassionate support, and the redemptive work of God. This is a vital conversation for anyone longing to understand the path to restoration and hope. If you missed Part 1, be sure to go back and start there for the full picture of this profound dialogue. Resources: https://raabsmithteam.com/free Building True Intimacy https://www.amazon.com/Building-True-Intimacy-Creating-Connection/dp/B0CHCLTDZJ/?tag=shaunticom-20 Secrets of Sex and Marriage book For referral resources: secretsofsexandmarriage.com Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
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Episode 33: The Courage to Heal After Betrayal, with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith – Part 1
Jan 2700:31:04Tap to summarizeSummary This episode is part one of a two-part conversation that we simply couldn’t keep to one week. !t’s that powerful! Dr. Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn sit down with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith to tackle one of the most painful but crucial topics in relationships: sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. With deep empathy and rich insight, the Raabsmiths, a couple who are both trained professionals and seasoned by personal experience, share the emotional and relational toll of betrayal and the courageous journey toward healing. They explore the critical roles of honesty, vulnerability, and structured support in recovery, highlighting how both partners contribute to rebuilding trust and intimacy. You'll hear practical, research-backed strategies for couples, as well as how the church can be a safe and redemptive place for those walking this road. Don’t miss this compelling conversation, and be sure to come back next week for Part 2, where we go even deeper into the healing process and the hopeful road forward. Resources: https://raabsmithteam.com/free Building True Intimacy Secrets of Sex and Marriage book For referral resources: secretsofsexandmarriage.com Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
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Episode 32: The Love Language That Matters Most, with Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott
Jan 1300:42:08Tap to summarizeSummary: In this insightful episode Jeff and Shaunti, along with Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, delve into the deeper layers of love languages, unpacking not only the five primary categories but also the nuanced dialects within each one. With warmth and expertise, they explore how the concept of the “love tank”—our emotional reservoir—impacts relationships and why empathy is the key to truly speaking each other's language. The conversation highlights practical tools like the Five Love Languages Assessment and the “My Heart Chart,” offering listeners accessible ways to foster connection. Through real-life stories and actionable guidance, the Parrotts empower couples to bridge communication gaps and build lasting intimacy—one intentional act of love at a time. Links and Resources https://www.amazon.com/Love-Language-That-Matters-Most/dp/0802438903/?tag=shaunticom-20 For assessments and more details: www.5lovelanguages.com https://www.myheartchart.com/ LesAndLeslie.com Social media- IG: @Lesandleslie; X: @LesParrott; Facebook: @Lesandleslieparrott Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
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