If you haven't heard of the podcast Code Switch, it is an NPR podcast that talks about race in America, and a person that Deondre' dated texted him to let him know that she called into the show to ask a question about their relationship. Immediately Deondre's interest was piqued, and it turns out that she went onto the show to ask about "race and dating preferences." The episode of that podcast has since come out, so we can tell you exactly what she asked:

"I've been casually seeing a guy for a few months now. For reference, I'm white, he's Black, and we're polyamorous.

I've briefly met his other partners and they are both also white women. This struck me as a little odd since we both live in a major city that is multiracial. I've met some of his friends and that group is diverse.

I'm currently at a point in my life where I want to make sure I am actually living my values, including challenging my whiteness and that comes with that.

I want to ask him about it, but I also don't want to seem like I am questioning his racial identity or trying to minimize his life or choices as a black man. I also don't know his entire dating history, so maybe he just has a type as of late? Any advice on navigating this conversation?"

In this episode, Deondre' talks about how this whole encounter made him feel, and the answer is: not great. We talk about whether or not questions like this get asked of white people as much as they get asked of people of color, as well as the baggage of the still-prevailing assumption that people ought to date within their race: despite the fact that it is 2025, we are still in a society where cross-racial dating is still not considered an unquestionable norm, and a number of commentators have openly wondered whether the Supreme Court might reconsider Loving vs. Virginia, the unanimously-decided 1967 Supreme Court case that struck down the State of Virginia's anti-miscegenation law that prohibited interracial marriages.

Links:

Code Switch Episode Featuring Deondre':

Ask Code Switch: Is it a preference or a fetish?