Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with hypnotherapist, content creator, and non-monogamy advocate Kate Shelor for an unfiltered conversation about open relationships, outsourcing fantasies, emotional labor in swinging, and the surprising ways long-term couples keep intimacy exciting.

Kate opens up about why she rarely dates outside her marriage despite being ethically non-monogamous, how hiring sex workers simplified their relationship dynamic, and the realities of jealousy, chemistry, group play, and sexual compatibility. They also dive into anal sex, fantasies, OnlyFans attention, emotional burnout, aging, confidence, kink exploration, and the difference between fantasy and real-life sex.

Topics covered:

Ethical non-monogamy & swinging
Why Kate rarely wants other partners
Being a sex educator while dating
Being intimidating or “unapproachable”
Emotional labor in open relationships
Using escorts and sex workers as a couple
Negotiating fantasies and boundaries
Why paying for sex can be simpler than dating
Outsourcing anal and mismatched sexual interests
Jealousy, communication, and trust in marriage
Male vs female sex workers
Exploring kinks safely
Why group sex stopped being exciting
Realistic female orgasms vs porn fantasy
Aging, hormones, and changing libido
OnlyFans, validation, and sexual attention online
Keeping long-term relationships exciting
Matching underwear subscriptions
Cruise playrooms and glory hole adventures
Novelty, intimacy, and maintaining attraction