Transcript
A (0:01)
Planning a wedding shouldn't feel overwhelming. The Knot brings everything together in one place. Vendors who get your vibe, a custom planning checklist, guest list tools, and a free wedding website that syncs with it all. So instead of juggling a dozen apps and spreadsheets, you can actually enjoy getting married. Get started@theknot.com audio the knot. Let's plan your wedding together. Get in the game with the college branded Venmo debit card. Wreck your team with every tap and earn up to 5% cash back with Venmo Stash, a new rewards program from Venmo. No monthly fee, no minimum balance, just school pride and spending power. Get in the game and sign up for the Venmo debit card@venmo.com collegecard the Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Vancouver Bank NA Select Schools available Venmo stash terms and exclusions apply at Venmo me stash terms max $100 cash back per month.
B (0:54)
It's really interesting how a small shift in perspective can really change the course of everything in the next six months. I think you were made for the season that is about to come. But I was thinking how there's this, like, one very, very, very important ingredient that is so essential, so crucial, so necessary to our own human potential. Now every single one of us has so much potential. Like, the possibilities of us are endless. You need to believe in that, that you are more than what you are right now, that everything that you need to succeed is already within you. Right? But we're going through different experiences and moments to, you know, activate those attributes, right? We're trying to fully embody. Maybe it's the discipline, you know, maybe it's the compassion, maybe it's the resilience, you know, maybe it's your brilliance, maybe it's your ability to create generational financial wealth, whatever it may be, for yourself. These are all possibilities that are within us. But none of it is possible without one important ingredient. And all of us will experience the ebbs and flows of this. Sometimes, you know, it's. It's just. We are just exuding it. Sometimes we're like, literally looking for it. It's not just faith, right? Yeah, we know faith is beautiful. And, you know, having faith and above and that we have like a. A divine ally that is working things out in our favor even if we can't see it. That's very important. You know, I'm big on faith, faith as a foundation. But there's another thing that's very, very, very, very crucial and it's self trusting, the trust we have in ourselves. And many of us have lost that. We've lost intimacy with our self trust. We've lost the belief in ourselves. Not the belief that we can do something or that we can perform at our best level or that we're going to win. I'm not talking about that because that is really the problem. Many of us are basing all of our value always on our performance, which means our whole life has become performative. And when you don't perform in the way that you wanted to, or you don't win or get the outcome that you were hoping for, what happens? The trust in yourself drops. The belief in yourself drops. Why? Because you take everything to heart a little bit too much and it makes sense you care about yourself. I always say we're only hard on ourselves because truly deep down we know how much more there is to us. And then we get angry and upset that we're not meeting that potential. But the problem is we're applying all our validation into outcomes when really we should just be asking ourselves, do we trust ourselves to respond to whatever outcome happens? Many of us, myself included, chronic procrastinators. I always say often we are procrastinating the very things we want to do, which is interesting, right? Like these are things that we know would bring so much meaning to our life and fulfillment and, you know, confidence, because we're creating more evidence and genuinely just, you know, make our life feel better. But we procrastinate it. You procrastinate starting that thing, you procrastinate making the song, you procrastinate hitting up that person that you want to connect with, whatever it may be. Because there's a fear there, there's a fear of the outcome. What if it doesn't work out? Let me protect myself from the failure. We become too sensitive to our own failures. We take them to heart. And this we know has become a problem. It has eroded our self trust. And nothing really works out without self trust, without believing in ourselves. You know, I think back to times when I had no technical knowledge of what I was doing, no mentors or anything. But for some reason I was able to just like with self trust and belief, just make magic and produce results. And then there's been seasons in my life where I have all the resources that I need. I have the skills, you know, I have the ability abilities, but I don't trust myself. And then we get paralyzed. We procrastinate and we're not fulfilling our dreams, we're not showing up for ourselves. And then what happens? It becomes a habit. And now we're creating more proof, affirming to ourselves that our lack of self trust is correct. Right? Because now we have no evidence nurturing our confidence. Now the problem is, again, a lot of us, we are measuring ourselves exactly on our outcomes instead of just asking ourselves, how am I going to respond to this? You know, what if I try and I launch, let's say that business and it doesn't work out? Can I handle that? Right? That's the trust we're talking about, is can you just handle the response? You may be swimming in regrets and worries and, you know, steeping yourself in anxieties for things that have happened in the past, things that you regret, things that you wish you could have changed you, like you lost some money, this didn't work out, whatever it may be, you had a falling out with this person, whatever it may be. But the most important question to ask yourself is, am I okay with where I am right now and can I move forward? And the root of that question is trusting in ourself. Yes, this happened, but where am I right now? Can I accept that? And by accepting that, we're accepting that we have the skills, the attributes, the characteristics, right? The personality to respond to, learn to take those failures and nurture it into our foundation. Again, self trust isn't just believing, oh, I'm going to win, everything is going to work out. No, self trust means, you know what, even if I walk into a new relationship and open my heart up and let's say you get heartbroken, I could still love myself, I could still grow. Whatever I go through, I'm not going to allow myself to, to stop myself from loving again. You understand? Self trust isn't saying, oh, I trust this relationship is going to work out. No, you trust that no matter what happens, you'll be able to take care of yourself and love yourself. Self trust is again, I'm going to start to express myself online. Even if I get hate, even if nobody's watching, I trust that I will still be able to love myself. I trust that I have to grace with myself to be able to move forward. This is the magic, right? Because now we're not trying to control outcomes, right? We're not reacting, but we're responding. You know that no matter what happens, you trust that you have the brilliance and the abilities to pivot, to course, correct, to learn quickly, take the failure and nurture it into your foundation. So you're actually putting your validation on the intrinsic qualities within yourself. Not the outcomes now, the outcomes when they are in your favor, that's the icing on top. You launch the business, it works great. More evidence for your confidence. You start the business, it doesn't work great. More information to fine tune and reinvent yourself, reinvent the business. Right. Self trust. Believing that you have the ability to figure it out, not trusting that it's gonna work out the exact way it needs to work out. Because if it doesn't, then. Oh, my God. No, no. See, that's a lot of us. We' control life way too much. Instead of just knowing, I am the type of individual where things. I figure it out no matter what. I'm the type of individual that doesn't quit on myself and trusting in that. And if you have full. You know, I had that moment the other day where I was thinking about it and I was like, man, I'm not really sure about this right now in my life and how this is going to work out. But I said, you know, I always figure it out, though. And right there I'm like, that is. That's the magic. It's very easy for us to measure ourselves on all the physical, invisible attributes in life, right? So how much money you have, let's say if you're a social media person, how great your numbers are and all these things. But we know in life, things will ebb and flow. You're never going to be at a consistent tempo. You may be winning, winning beautifully, thriving, blossoming for like three, four, five years straight, and then hit a rough patch. Pharrell said, when it comes to being an artist and a creative, he's like, you will become hot and then fall off. And then you have to reinvent yourself. You become hot again. He's like, guess what? You're gonna fall off. You're gonna hit another rough patch. And then guess what, you have to reinvent yourself again. He said, he's. He said, if you haven't at least reinvented yourself like three times, he's like, you're not even there yet. And how do you reinvent yourself? What's the architecture of reinvention? Self trust. I trust that no matter what happens, even though I climbed the mountain, you got to the top. You got to the top of where you thought you were supposed to be. And then it all came crumbling down because something. Something changed. Maybe it was things that wasn't even in your control, or maybe it was. Maybe you genuinely made mistakes. But whatever it may be, you came to the top of the mountain and you Fell down. And the only thing that's going to bring you back up is self trust, trusting in the intrinsic qualities. And what I like to do is no matter what has happened in the past, no matter what you are upset about, you have to ask yourself, am I okay? Can I accept everything that has happened up until this point? Can I accept that? If the question is no, you're gonna steep in worries and anxieties and regrets until you can answer that question. But if you can bring yourself, if you can bring yourself to say yes, I can accept everything that has happened in my life. I can accept exactly where I am right now. Even if you don't like where you are, you can accept it. Once you accept it, you trigger self trust because you're saying this happened. I can accept it. And guess what? Now I'm going to become intimate with the present moment because that's all that we have. And we're going to nurture our future. And now the past is behind us because we trust in ourselves to reinvent, to reinvent ourself again. This is the beauty of self trust. But a lot of us, we have lost touch and intimacy with the own trust in ourselves. Because we measure ourselves solely on wins and failures. Ah, I made a bad song. I don't want to make a song again because what if I make a bad, bad song again? That means I'm not a good musician. You had a relationship down, didn't work out. I'm not gonna love again because I just don't want to go through a breakup. No trust in yourself to be able to love again. And even if it doesn't work out, to love yourself through that trust that you will never quit on yourself. So that means you remain open to opportunities, you remain open to life. But if you close yourself, if you don't trust yourself, it doesn't matter what comes to you. The most amazing people can come into your life, but you will be closed off. The most beautiful opportunities can come into your life, but you be able to receive them and thrive with them because you don't trust in yourself. It's actually quite amazing what you can do with self trust. Even if you have limited knowledge and skills, you know, you could get an opportunity. Like let's say you get an opportunity and it's a job opportunity, but you don't really know how to fulfill the full scope of that job. I would say it would be better to just believe that you can figure it out. It's like if somebody asks you a question and then you don't have the answer, you could judge yourself on not having the answer, or you can actually affirm to yourself you're the type of person that finds the answer. So instead of feeling guilty for not having the answer, you actually love yourself because you're like, you know what, I don't know, but let me go find out. And that's where you place your value. And the let me go find out. When you place your value purely on performance, you're going to judge yourself from not having the answer. But if you judge yourself on I'm the type of individual that will figure it out, I will find the answer. Because now you're remaining open, you're curious. Now life is like, you know what, this person is open. When your heart is open, what happens? Life brings beautiful people and experiences and opportunities to you. When your heart is closed, when your mind is closed, what happens? You don't even see the opportunities. You can't even receive the community. It all starts with the heart. It all starts with the mind. Self trust is the most important ingredient and we have to rebuild that. Think about it, what is self trust? It's internal proof. It's internal proof of yourself that your validation isn't coming from what people are saying about you, if people are affirming you, or from how many wins that you are getting. Because again, you may actually be moving in the direction that you're supposed to be moving in, but to get to like the place where you want to go, you might not even know where you want to go. But the, the feeling you want to be at, success, happiness, full alignment, whatever, that the pathway there actually, because you have a destiny, actually has nine massive failures until you get there. So you actually, you might be like, man, my life sucks. Things aren't working out. But you don't realize like, no, you're actually in alignment because there's nine failures that you have to go through. And each failure is going to give you more information, a new seed. And then you take that seed and you plant it into the next one. That thing doesn't work out, but you have more information. You get better. Like, think about yourself and your whole life, how you go through things, you learn, and then you fine tune, you invent, you reinvent. So you may be exactly where you're supposed to be, but you're not going to be able to get to that final last stage unless you have that internal proof. Because guess what? The only thing that's going to allow you to get there is self trust, is trusting in yourself. You trust in how you will respond. Even if this doesn't work out, I trust that I can love myself through that failure. Learn quickly and reinvent. You are trusting in yourself along the way. That's the energy. That's the ingredient that's going to carry you to exactly where you're supposed to be. But right now, in this season, if you've been procrastinating, if you've been struggling, most likely you've been measuring your whole value on outcomes. And unfortunately, that's just a lose, lose game. Right? It's a lose, lose game. Sometimes you have to go through a multitude of failures. It's a part of your destiny. Sometimes you're going through the valley of despair. Sometimes you go through the dark tunnel. And you have to because it's a part of your story. It's a part of your book. Every book we read has a climax, right? Has a story arc. Understand that you might just be in the not so exciting part of your story. Actually, it is exciting. It just doesn't feel fun. But if you can trust yourself, man, I am a brilliant person. Remind yourself I'm a brilliant person. I think in unique ways. I think in creative ways. Yeah. I have gifts that were instilled into my spirit that give me the ability to produce some type of magic and value in this world. And I've been given a heart that can love again, love again, and put myself in the proper environments to be loved in the same way that I love. Trust in those abilities and everything is going to be more than all right, won't it? One of my favorite creators is this girl I know. I think I've referenced her before. Her name is Lena and she's originally from Vancouver as well, but she lives in Los Angeles now. She makes clothes. And I remember one time she made this tweet and she said something about how she's been doing what she's been doing for like 20 years now. I can successfully, but she said that she's not afraid to lose everything, move back into her mom's home and restart a new business or relaunch her business from the garage. Imagine doing something for 20 years pretty successfully and still having the attitude that you are not afraid for all to fall for some reason that's maybe out of your control, right? And you're like, it's all good. I would start again from my mama's garage. That is self trust. Anybody with that attitude, that mentality, anybody who embodies that is okay in life. You know, when I look into the world right now and AI and how everything is going to change. You know, like they say, by 20, 30, 50, 70% of the jobs as we know it will change. And I was like, man, this is scary. I was like, I never even imagined a world where a computer would recreate it. A person that looks exactly real, like we have AI influencers. I'm like, what does it mean for me? But then I came back to my self trust and my intrinsic qualities and I said, it doesn't matter what happens. I trust in myself to pivot, to figure it out, to reinvent. Bring it on. Bring it on. I trusted myself to start over. Bring it on. Why? Because even if something bad happens or failure or the economy changes things up for you and your business, you're not going to allow that to measure your worth. You're like, that happened. Let me respond by accepting where I am. I accept everything that has happened up until this point. It is done. I accept where I am because I believe in myself to move forward and reinvent that is attitude. But you have to remind yourself of this attitude every single day. You can't just say to your, no. You have to remind yourself every single day of this attitude that I trust in myself. I trust that I can respond. I trust that if I go through failure, I can push it to the side, learn and move forward. And that no failure, no outcome is defining my worth. Because guess what? It doesn't. You could do everything perfect. You could literally do everything perfect. But the wind wasn't blowing in your direction that year. You put all your effort in, you did all the hard work. I saw a video about this, this girl on TikTok and she said she got an opportunity to, to show up on a news, a news, a sports news, to be a news anchor for a sports channel or whatever. It's her dream. She actually got plugged off a TikTok and she's like, this is it. I'm going to do this one show and after this, I'm going to get an opportunity. I'm going to get job offers. This is it. She did everything right. She built a social media following. She had the vision, she got the opportunity, she killed the opportunity, thinking the next day, the next week, even just over the next month, opportunities are coming in. She's going to get re. Get opportunities to reappear on that same show. Nothing happened. Nothing happened. No opportunity. She was just back, you know, working. Let's say she was, you know, waiting tables on TV and then she's just back. She did everything right. Sometimes the wind's just not blowing in your direction. And if you internalize it, not working out the way that you wanted, and then allow that to measure your worth and destroy your belief and trust in yourself, you'll become trapped. You will close your heart, you will close your mind and opportunities will not be able to find you anymore because you will not receive them. Instead, you say, that happened. Cool. What an experience. But I trust in myself to figure it out. And you don't know in hindsight every 10 gonna be all right. So let's work on that. Let's work on that.
