Hey lovers

I am a bit excited to share this week’s episode with you because I am, we are.. dismantling one of the most pervasive myths used to justify “male promiscuity…” and that is the idea that “men are naturally wired to spread their seed.”

We have heard it all before. It has been used to excuse everything from infidelity ( even though the stats are pretty even on that one between women and men ) to commitment phobia. But here is what that narrative conveniently leaves out

The egg chooses the sperm. Not the other way around.

The biological reality is that fertilization is not some conquering mission where sperm “penetrates” a passive egg. The egg actively selects which sperm it will allow entry. She is the one in charge. She is the gatekeeper, the decision maker and the chooser.

If we look at ancestral communal and polyamorous living structures, men ( via their sperm ) were not guaranteed anything. They ( the sperm ) were essentially in a lineup, hoping to be chosen. A man could ejaculate inside many wombs and still not father children, because ultimately, the woman’s body (and the egg itself) held all the power. SHE chose the fittest…. this is the first line of defense for survival of the fittest. ( How monogamy relationships have bred a weaker and more disease prone society…. needs to be truly looked at… )

Even the research in books like Sperm Wars reveals that the majority of sperm in any ejaculation are not there to fertilize. They are “warrior sperm” designed to block or kill competing sperm. In other words, male biology evolved not for indiscriminate spreading, but for sperm competition. A response to the reality that women have always had multiple partners……………

So this whole “men need to spread their seed” story? It’s not biology. It is patriarchy wearing a lab coat.

The truth is far more interesting and fun.

Our bodies evolved in contexts of female choice, communal intimacy, and yes—women’s sexual autonomy.

In this episode, I break down:

* The science of egg selection and what actually happens during fertilization

* What sperm competition really tells us about ancestral mating patterns

* How the “spread their seed” narrative serves patriarchal control, not biological truth

* What happens when we recenter female agency in our understanding of sexuality

This is about reframing the narrative and telling the whole story. About recognizing that even our biology has been filtered through a patriarchal lens.

Ready to hear it differently?

Take a listen to the episode above.

With love, pleasure and a little rebellion ( of course )

💋

P.S. If this resonates, please share it. These conversations matter, and the more we question these “natural” narratives, the more freedom we all have to live authentically.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit melissalouise.substack.com/subscribe

The real reason why men need to spread their seed.