How To Protect Your Kids (Q and A)

Summary

Podcast Summary – Intentionally Disturbing: “How To Protect Your Kids (Q and A)”

Host: Dr. Leslie
Podcast: Intentionally Disturbing (iHeartPodcasts)
Episode: How To Protect Your Kids (Q and A)
Date: September 25, 2025

---

Episode Overview

In this Q&A episode, Dr. Leslie, a forensic psychologist, fielded questions from listeners on the theme of protecting children—at home, online, and in the community. Utilizing her signature blend of sharp wit, dark humor, and no-nonsense expertise, she tackled concerns ranging from online safety and grooming to setting boundaries, handling home contractors, and tough stances on issues like sleepovers and household firearms. The episode is packed with practical strategies aimed at empowering parents and caregivers, strengthening intuition, and prioritizing open communication—all without resorting to fear-based approaches.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Online Safety for Children with Smart Devices

• Question: How to keep a 12-year-old safe on her iPhone? (Mimi)
  [03:38]
  • Parental controls are essential: “An iPhone gives your child access to the world. Right, but then that also means that the world has access to your child.”
  • Utilize parent/child iCloud accounts and install monitoring software (Bark, AT&T safety programs).
  • Pay close attention to app downloads, e.g., Snapchat, WhatsApp, Roblox—encryption and data deletion features make monitoring tricky.
  • Set age restrictions and explain the reasoning behind controls: “Online friends are not real friends. Keep this conversation open.”
  • If a parent/guardian is unable to intervene, try to communicate safety messages through friends’ parents or other trusted adults.

2. Addressing Lying and Sneakiness in Teens

• Question: What to do when a 13-year-old is sneaky and lying, even though she's in therapy? (Brittney)
  [07:30]
  • Parents may have legal access to therapeutic records; encourage joint sessions to increase transparency.
  • Openly reassure your child that they’re safe to tell the truth: “You don’t need to lie to me. I am your safe person...”
  • Lying is a classic grooming tool; perpetrators exploit secrecy for manipulation and threats.

3. Teaching Girls About Grooming in Schools and Sports

• Question: How to teach tween girls about grooming, especially in activities and sports? (Erica Henson)
  [09:00]
  • Reference: Alexandra Cooper’s documentary about sexual harassment in sports.
  • Grooming begins with targeting the vulnerable: “Predators look for girls who are just young enough and naive enough to believe a stranger over their parents.”
  • Predators use complimentary, validating behavior, offer gifts, and give “safety zone” feelings to gain a child’s trust.
  • Important red flags: extra-special attention, being singled out, unearned “special” status.
  • Critical advice: “There were times where she felt uncomfortable and she didn’t speak up because the coach had this vibe…” (referencing Cooper’s experience).
  • Encourage children to trust their gut feelings and report any “special” treatment or discomfort.

4. Teaching Boys Respect for Consent

• Question: Best way to teach boys “no is a complete answer”? (Alex and Ramey Rick)
  [13:30]
  • Communication is key: “No is a complete sentence and I often say that to him. We can teach boys that although they may have urges...if the other person is not wanting it, they cannot pressure someone.”
  • Practice social skills training; young boys often struggle with reciprocal conversation.
  • Remove screen distractions; encourage real conversations about consent, sexuality, and social dynamics.
  • Exercise to build self-awareness: List what you think others see when you walk into a room; most teens’ self-perceptions are inaccurate.
  • Memorable quote: “A young 17-year-old girl is seen as fuckable by a young 17-year-old boy and the girl often does not understand the viewpoint of the boy.” (Dr. Leslie, [14:50])

5. Stranger Danger and Intuition Building for Young Kids

• Question: How to teach a six-year-old caution with strangers—without fear?
  [19:05]
  • Inspired by Gavin de Becker’s work—teach practical skills: “I take my kids out...and I ask them to pick a person to go ask what time it is or where is this store...and then I say, how did you pick that person?”
  • After the exercise, debrief with the child—why did one person seem safer than another?
  • Emphasize trusting intuition and building confident, authentic self-assurance.

6. Home Safety Protocols—Especially for Single Women

• Question: What should single women do when contractors or repairworkers enter the home? (Vintagebeach Chateau)
  [21:04]
  • “You are a point of vulnerability when you allow a strange man into your home and you are alone.” (Dr. Leslie, [21:30])
  • Use only reputable, vetted companies—check their business license, employee info, assigned worker’s name.
  • Never be alone if possible, keep someone on speakerphone, inform neighbors, have cameras operating.
  • “Lie a lot to make people think that you are not alone and not vulnerable.”
  • Self-protection at home is legitimate: carry pepper spray, knife, panic buttons (“very inexpensive” and connect to 911).
  • Don’t answer the door unless you must; “Who cares if you can’t sign for the package and you have to go pick it up from UPS another day? Safety is your priority.”

7. Weapons, Drugs, and Pool Safety in Others’ Homes

• Question: How to handle concerns about guns and other dangers at other people’s homes? (Sally)
  [25:00]
  • Ask directly and without apology: “Do you have weapons in the home? If you have guns, where do you keep them? Are they loaded? Are they in fingerprint detection safes?”
  • “If parents aren’t willing to answer questions about what they’re doing with guns in their homes...Get your kid the fuck out of their house. I don’t care.”
  • Store weapons in home securely; communicate this to other parents.
  • Extend the questioning to other dangers—pools (“Are you going to watch the children? Do you plan on drinking alcohol during the day?”), medications, knives, drugs.
  • Don’t shy from reporting or addressing unsafe situations; “You would be very surprised by how few parents really care.”

8. Avoiding Sleepovers

• Question: At what age do you allow sleepovers? (Betty)
  [35:15]
  • Dr. Leslie’s answer is emphatic: “Never. Sorry, never. My kids will never sleep over at anyone’s house.”
  • Risks: Sleep disorders, vulnerability in unfamiliar environments, but especially molestation (by adults or other minors).
  • “When are you most vulnerable? …When you’re asleep.”
  • “I have never once spoken to an adult who said, I’m still mad at my parents. They wouldn’t let me sleep over. No. Every single adult…has said, I am so glad my parents never let me sleep over because I never got sexually assaulted.”

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On device safety:
  “An iPhone gives your child access to the world. Right, but then that also means that the world has access to your child.” (Dr. Leslie, [03:38])

• On being your child’s confidant:
  “You don’t need to lie to me. I am your safe person and we will in a reasonable way recover from whatever happened…” ([07:52])

• On grooming tactics:
  “Predators look for girls who are just young enough and naive enough to believe a stranger over their parents.” ([09:23])

• On social skills for boys:
  “I can’t tell you how many teenage clients I have had who sit on the couch for 50 minutes and say three words. And it’s not because they’re not interesting.” ([13:57])

• On home safety and vulnerability:
  “You are a point of vulnerability when you allow a strange man into your home and you are alone.” ([21:30])

• On standing your ground regarding safety:
  “If parents aren’t willing to answer questions about what they’re doing with guns in their homes…Get your kid the fuck out of their house.” ([26:05])

• On sleepovers:
  “Never. Sorry, never. My kids will never sleep over at anyone’s house.” ([35:17])

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Subject | |-----------|----------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:38 | iPhone and child safety—parental controls, app monitoring | | 07:30 | Sneaky/lying 13-year-old—therapy collaboration and open communication| | 09:00 | Grooming and vulnerability—tips for tween girls | | 13:30 | Consent and social skills for boys | | 19:05 | Teaching “stranger danger” and intuition to young kids | | 21:04 | Home safety for single women; contractors, alarms, and protection | | 25:00 | Guns, pools, and child safety in other homes | | 35:15 | Sleepovers—Dr. Leslie’s hard line (never allowed) |

---

Final Thoughts

Dr. Leslie balances her forensic expertise with empowering, actionable advice. She stresses intuition, clear boundaries, and unapologetic questioning in all safety matters. Her advice is rooted in real-world cases and psychology—never shying away from uncomfortable truths but always fostering empowerment, not fear.

“I’m not trying to fear monger. I’m trying to empower you. And you can be empowered through education, but more so you can be empowered through trusting your intuition, trusting your gut.” ([36:48])

Listeners are encouraged to visit her website for additional resources and practical exercises on strengthening personal intuition and creating safer environments for their families.

---

Transcript

[Dr. Leslie]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Straight Arrow News Announcer]

Straight arrow News Find facts and context you've been craving. Quickly find trusted information you need to understand the news. Watch what you want when you want. Catch up on the news at home or on the go with your own news queue. Dive deep into the topics that matter to you and the world around you. Navigate everything you need to know about the topics shaping your world. Understand how every side of the political spectrum is reporting on a story so you get a full picture of the news. The welcome back to trustworthy journalism.

[Washable Sofas Advertiser]

San.com there's nothing like sinking into luxury. At washablesofas.com, you'll find the Annabe sofa which combines ultimate comfort and design at an affordable price. And get this, it's the only sofa that's fully machine washable from top to bottom. Starting at only $699, the stain resistant performance fabric slipcovers and cloud like frame duvet can go straight into your wash. Perfect for anyone with kids, pets or anyone who loves an easy to clean spotless sofa. With a modular design and changeable slipcovers, you can customize your sofa to fit any space and style. Whether you need a single chair loveseat or a luxuriously large sectional, Annabe has you covered. Visit washablesofas.com to upgrade your home. Right now you can shop up to 60% off store wide with a 30 day money back guarantee. Shop [e-mail] Add a little to your life. Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

[LG XBoom Advertiser]

Stop settling for weak sound. It's time to level up your game and bring the boom. Hit the town with The Ultra Durable LG XBoom Portable speaker and enjoy vibrant sound wherever you go. Elevate your listening experience to new heights because let's be real, your music deserves it. The future of sound is now with LG x boom and for a limited time save [e-mail] with code fall25. Bring the boom xboom there's a lot.

[Cynthia Littleton]

Going on in Hollywood. How are you supposed to stay on top of it all? Variety has the solution. Take 20 minutes out of your day and listen to the new daily Variety podcast for breaking entertainment news and expert perspectives.

[Dr. Leslie]

Where do you see the business actually heading?

[Cynthia Littleton]

Featuring the iconic journalist of Variety and hosted by co Editor in Chief Stephen Cynthia Littleton.

[Dr. Leslie]

The only constant in Hollywood is change.

[Cynthia Littleton]

Open your free iHeartradio app, search daily Variety and listen.

[Guardian Bikes / Uber Eats / Sephora Advertiser]

Now we see you listening to your podcast, picking at your split ends, wondering is my Hair really thinning. It's no mystery. Over time, cheap shampoos can weaken hair. The solve Mowry. You could get less shed and more fuller looking hair in time for the holidays with your mystery date. Now first time customers receive 50% off their first order. Take the quiz for a tailored recommendation at a life that's carefree, needs hair that's worry free. Have both with more results can vary. Mowry is not a substitute for medical advice. See website for more.

[Dr. Leslie]

Oh hey, you're here. Welcome back to another episode of Intentionally disturbing. I am Dr. Leslie, forensic psychologist and today I want to cover more Q and A questions that came in from my social media audience. And we are going to break this up. We're going to break it up into child safety, but child safety in the home and child safety when you leave the home. And again, it's not always about the children. You can apply this to yourself as an adolescent, teenager or adult as well. So we are going to be exploring how to safeguard our little ones from predators, manipulation, online threats. We want to promote healthy boundaries and awareness. We want to promote empowerment and we do not want fear. And there are ways that we can easily do this and we can teach our friends, families, kids, everyone around us all about this. Okay, so we have our first question from Mimi. Okay Mimi, what's your question? How do I keep my 12 year old granddaughter safe when she has an iPhone? Okay, that's it. I mean there's a lot of arguing that goes on about how old should your kid be when they get an iPhone. An iPhone is very different than other phones that have limited technology. An iPhone gives your child access to the world. Right, but then that also means that the world has access to your child. So what I would primarily do if it's an iPhone is understand the iCloud, understand that there can be parent accounts and that there can be child accounts, that the parents can run restrictive accounts for the children. So you're a grandma. Maybe if there are parents involved, you guys could have a talk about how to do this. But I definitely would not let a 12 year old on an unrestricted device be alone and not be aware of what she is doing. So look into those technology safety programs, look into bark, look into AT&T. There are a lot of safety network programs that you can download on your phone and on the child's phone. And I, I would also be very careful with what apps they are downloading. Pay attention to them. There are a lot of apps like Snapchat where we have found child Predator rings. So you know the little girl thinks she is talking to another little girl. It's Snapchat or even games like Roblox, WhatsApp, all of these encrypted apps where if it goes away and it gets deleted, you can't actually see it later. So you don't know what they were doing. But this is where grooming and manipulation can start. So I would limit their access to social media and what apps you allow on their phone and I would set age restrictions as well. But the biggest thing is that they need to understand why you're doing this. So explain to them that the world is a dangerous place and online friends are not real friends. Keep this conversation open. If you can't talk to the parents because there is some estrangement, then try and talk to the kid and make sure you maintain a relationship that warrants that. If you can't talk to the kid, maybe you can talk to the kid's friends, the kid's friend's parents. But find a way to let people understand that safety is the priority and it's not about keeping secrets or keeping them away from the cool kids stuff, which I hear a lot of people complaining about, a lot of adolescents complaining about. Okay, next question. What can I do when my 13 year old is sneaky and lying even though she's in therapy? And this is from Brittney, that is a difficult question. Now she's 13, so in most states you have access to her therapy records and you can speak to her therapist. And I think that is a perfect question for her therapist because you just, you don't know what's happening in the therapeutic room unless you sit down and understand. And I would also recommend ask asking for joint sessions. So get in there with your kid and the therapist, see what it's like, see what their relationship is like and inform yourself. But also you always want to tell your child, you know you can tell me anything. You don't need to lie to me. I am your safe person and we will in a reasonable way recover from whatever happened if you feel you need to lie about it. But lying is one of the biggest things that perpetrators use in grooming. If we can get a child to lie to their par, then we have time to threaten the child, then we scare the child, so then the child never wants to come back. Tell the parents what's going on because they're fearful that the parents are then going to be harmed or they're going to be in trouble. So keep that in mind. Okay, We're Going to jump over to Erica Henson. How do you teach tween girls about grooming, especially in schools and sports? This is a great question. And I'd have to say, you know, go over to call her daddy, go to Alexander Cooper and look at, I mean, even her documentary where she was sexually harassed on her soccer team. And I found her insights to be very on point. So what she described and what many people describe in sexual assault scenarios is grooming. And grooming starts at a very young age. Predators look for tween girls. Predators look for girls who are just young enough and naive enough to believe a stranger over their parents. So they're looking for that vulnerability. They're also targeting girls who are maybe an online eating disorder groups. They're in groups where they are seeking companionship, friendship, help for some kind of mental disorder. And they are going to get in there and build a relationship. Now, they likely won't be themselves, right? They are going to act like they are someone else and they are going to slowly gain information from these girls. So the information may not be forthcoming at first. It may be, oh, well, she's online at these times. That means that she's home. She's not online at these times. That means maybe she's at practice because she has a soccer ball in her profile picture. So now I can find her. Now she wears a certain polo shirt. Her backpack has a symbol on it. I can find her school. There's plenty, plenty of ways that predators can find children. But what happens is they start to bring the child in through complimenting them, validating them, they are offering them gifts, they are making the child feel safe, they are growing a safety zone so that the child wants to enter into this relationship more and more now, largely talking about this happening online. But this can happen easily anywhere. So let's say they have an early job. Let's say they are doing free work at middle school, setting up the cones for the cross country team. Or let's say this is actually happening with a coach or a teacher or someone in school, you want to pay attention and tell them that if they feel like an extra special kid, they need to inform you if they are singled out, if they are getting gifts, if they are getting special attention, special time, special compliments. If they're getting more playing time and you as a parent think they're really not that good, they shouldn't be getting that much time. This needs to be an open communication between you and the tween because they are at such a point of vulnerability where they are Building their identity. They don't exactly know who they are or what they want to be. And so a predator is going to grab onto that and they can manipulate that significantly. So once again, trust your gut as a parent, but also you can teach a teenager a tween to trust their gut too. Even Alexander Cooper explained that there were times where she felt uncomfortable and she didn't speak up because the coach had this vibe. The coach let the girls know that speaking up would lead to negative consequences, would lead to certain people being silenced, would lead to less time playing. She wouldn't be able to play soccer that she had been working towards. So pay attention to all of this and keep the lines of communication open. That is my biggest tip. Okay, let's jump over to a question by Alex and Ramey. Rick. How do we teach boys that no is a complete answer early and effectively? Oh, this is a difficult one in a time like this where misogyny is so prevalent. So I have a son. I can use him as an example. No is a complete sentence and I often say that to him. We can teach boys that although they may have urges that go beyond what is reasonable in a situation, if the other person is not wanting it, they cannot pressure someone. So focusing on pressure and timing and allowing a boy and a girl too, but allowing your son to understand that he is his own identity, he has his own urges, and whatever he needs to fulfill himself is different than other people. I think a big part of teaching our young boys how to work in this world is encouraging them to communicate. I can't tell you how many teenage clients I have had who sit on the couch for 50 minutes and say three words. And it's not because they're not interesting. They have so much to say. They, they want to learn so much. They don't know how to communicate. They literally benefit from social skills training where we explain to teenagers the back and forth of conversation. So you say to a teenager, hey, how are you? And they say, good. Well, they don't immediately think I should say, and how are you? And then it becomes a conversation and it's back and forth and then you drop in a moment of interest, something that may engage the person further and make the conversation more fruitful. Young boys aren't taught this and they don't talk to each other like this. And they are hyper focused on video games and telephones. So taking away all of that screen time and actually talking to your son about what no means about sexuality, about how it is different for girls and boys at certain ages. One technique I really like for any child or tween teenager, really anyone, is for you to make a list of what you think the world thinks of you when you walk into a room. What are 10 things that you think people see now? Let's say you've known the person for a week now. What are 10 things that you think that person sees in you? And I can guarantee you, depending on the age, especially teenagers, none of it is accurate. It is what they hope to be seen as, but they are not seen like that. A young 17 year old girl is seen is seen as fuckable by a young 17 year old boy and the girl often does not understand the viewpoint of the boy. So teaching the boy that no means no, but going way deeper and comprehensive into that conversation is key. We'll be right back after this break.

[Straight Arrow News Announcer]

Straight Arrow News Find facts and context you've been craving. Quickly find trusted information you need to understand the news. Watch what you want when you want. Catch up on the news at home or on the go with your own news queue. Dive deep into the topics that matter to you and the world around you. Navigate everything you need to know about the topics shaping your world. Understand how every side of the political spectrum is reporting on a story so you get a full picture of the news. Welcome back to trustworthy journalism.

[Washable Sofas Advertiser]

San.com there's nothing like sinking into luxury. At washablesofas.com, you'll find the Annabe sofa which combines ultimate comfort and design at an affordable price. And get this, it's the only sofa that's fully machine washable from top to bottom. Starting at only $699. The stain resistant performance fabric slipcovers and cloud like frame duvet can go straight into your wash. Perfect for anyone with kids, pets or anyone who loves an easy to clean spotless sofa. With a modular design and changeable slipcovers, you can customize your sofa to fit any space and style. Whether you need a single chair, loveseat or a luxuriously large sectional, Annabe has you covered. Visit washablesofas.com to upgrade your home. Right now you can shop up to 60% off store wide with a 30 day money back guarantee. Shop [e-mail] Add a little to your life. Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

[LG XBoom Advertiser]

Stop settling for weak sound. It's time to level up your game and bring the boom. Hit the town with the ultra durable LG X Boom portable speaker and enjoy vibrant sound wherever you go. Elevate your listening experience to new heights. Because, let's be real, your music deserves it. The future of sound is now with LG XBoom and for a limited time save 25% at LG.com with code fall25. Bring the boom XBoom.

[Cynthia Littleton]

There's a lot going on in Hollywood. How are you supposed to stay on top of it all? Variety has the solution. Take 20 minutes out of your day and listen to the new daily Variety podcast for breaking entertainment news and excellent expert perspectives.

[Dr. Leslie]

Where do you see the business actually heading?

[Cynthia Littleton]

Featuring the iconic journalists of Variety and hosted by co editor in chief Cynthia Littleton.

[Dr. Leslie]

The only constant in Hollywood is change.

[Cynthia Littleton]

Open your free iHeartradio app, search daily Variety and listen now.

[Guardian Bikes / Uber Eats / Sephora Advertiser]

We've all heard the stories. Missing persons, double lives, suspicious basements. But here's one mystery you don't need in your life. Why can't my kid learn to ride a bike? For a lot of families, it turns into a saga. Meltdowns in the driveway, scraped knees and frustrated parents Googling how to teach a kid to ride a bike without losing your mind. That's where Guardian Bikes comes in. Their bikes are lightweight, low to the ground, and built to help kids find their balance fast. Most are riding confidently in just one day. No training wheels, no tears, just high fives. And I did it moments. It's everything. Learning to ride should be simple, smooth and actually fun. So skip the struggle and start with a bike that's made to make it easy. Guardian bikes go to guardianbikes.com you'll save hundreds when comparing Guardian to its competitors. Plus get a free bike lock and pump a $50 value with your purchase when you join their newsletter.

[Dr. Leslie]

That's guardianbikes.com okay, we have one question from how do I teach my six year old to be cautious with strangers without scaring her? I had that same question when I was six and I read Gavin de Becker's book. It's not called the Gift of Fear, but it's the one he wrote to explain how to protect your children. And there are elements of that book that I really, really liked. But the one that I've used most frequently is that I take my kids out, we go hiking, we go walking, we go to the mall, and I ask them to pick a person to go ask what time it is or where is this store? Or you know, where's the bathroom? And I'm really close to them, of course, and they're safe. So they go and they do it and then, you know, they get their answer and they Come back and I sit down with them and I say, how did you pick that person? How was that person the safe one? What about them made them safe enough to go talk to, to be vulnerable in a sense with? Right. And then I talked to them about all the people that they didn't pick. And I asked them, you know, why didn't you pick this person? What about them made you feel like they were less safe? Was it your intuition? Was it something you felt? Was it some thought you had? Was it something you saw? So we just keep building on the confidence of trusting your intuition, trusting that what you see is the truth, that you can authentically and with transparency interact with the world in a confident, empowered and safe position because you know who you are, you trust who others are, you trust what you see in others. And you've got good parents who have really spent time focusing in on that for you. I want to jump over to some questions about safety in the home. Practical advice for maintaining safety in your personal environment and when you're interacting with unfamiliar people. This is especially for women, but for men and for children as well. So we have a question from Vintagebeach Chateau. Nice name. I would like to be there right now instead of in my office, but I'm doing this for you guys, so don't forget that question. What protocols should single women follow when contractors or repair workers come into the house? That one gave me chills. I have had numerous sexual assault cases because the contractors or the repair workers or the movers have sexually assaulted individuals in the home. Yes, it happens. And you are a point of vulnerability when you allow a strange man into your home and you are alone. Especially if you are in a part of your home that is not easily accessible and no one would hear you screaming. Yes, predators are often in these roles and people on parole or probation are often in jobs where they can't really get hired. They're not going to have a W9, so they may be getting cash under the table. So first and foremost, only have reputable companies that you work with. Look them up, look up their licenses, look up their business licenses, look up complaints against them. And then when you get assigned a person who's actually going to come out, look them up too. And the company should be able to tell you this. If they don't fuck em, you don't need that company. We have AT&T guys coming out. We have frontier guys coming out to the office. How do you know that they're safe? Check them out, check their badge, check their number, check their Employee information. You are allowed that information before they are in your space. Now if you don't feel confident enough to do that, if time is pressing, then just don't be alone, right? Don't be alone in your home when some stranger comes in. At the same time, you can be on speakerphone with a friend. You can have cameras in the house. People can be aware even if they're not directly with you. You can let your neighbors know that somebody's in the house. You can time somebody popping in and checking on you. You can tell the person, my husband will be back in three minutes. You can lie, lie a lot, lie a lot to make people think that you are not alone and you are not vulnerable. And at the same time, always carry self protection. Even in your own home. You don't know the truth behind who people are. Who cares? Carry pepper spray, keep a knife in your pocket, whatever you need to do to just feel safe while there's a stranger in your home. Like I tell every victim, the perpetrator picked you before you saw it. No victim knew that they were going to be victimized. So keep yourself safe when it comes to home safety. I am big on home alarms. I am big on using the alarms. I'm big on cameras that look at all aspects of the house and the yard and the street and the neighbors. I really like Google's monitoring system and I like that you can set it to person with a package, you can set it to friendly faces, you can set it to focus on animal movement, or you can take all of those away because you want to save the battery life and you want to save your wi fi a little bit. So get a system that you are comfortable with and you know how to operate. I highly suggest that you get panic buttons. Now oftentimes they're small little remotes and if you hit two of the buttons on the remote at the same time, panic alarms sound in your house. They're very inexpensive. They can be linked to adt, lots of different alarm companies. And what happens is they immediately call or they immediately access 91 1. So you hide in a bathroom, you go somewhere safe, you have these panic alarms set all around your house. All you have to do is press those two buttons and they know exactly what to do. They know who to come and find. Now I also have on my house speakers that will send out the alarm sound into the neighborhood. So it goes beyond that of, you know, when you're cooking in your kitchen, you set your smoke alarm off, which I do like every single week. Now that smoke alarm noise, whew. It's going to go down three blocks and people will hear it. Yes, you can do that. It's a type of a siren system. But every alarm company has somebody you can work with to figure out what is best for your need. And just please do not underestimate the potential for violence. When you're home alone, don't answer the door. I don't care. Who cares if you're not answering the door? Who cares if a Jehovah's Witness is on the other side and they don't get to give you their little watchtower guide? Who cares? Who cares if you can't sign for the package and they won't leave it and you have to go pick it up from UPS another day? Safety is your priority. And strangers are not your friends. Strangers are the ones who have the potential to hurt you the most. Okay, we have a good question from Sally. And Sally asks, what do you do about guns? Now, I am assuming, Sally, you're asking about guns in your home, keeping them safe. But my mind immediately goes to guns in other people's homes. And if your child is in somebody else's home, this is where I tell parents all the time to find your voice. And even if it is uncomfortable and intrusive, ask the other parents, do you have weapons in the home? If you have guns, where do you keep them? Are they loaded? Are they in fingerprint detection safes? How safe are they? And even though your children may understand guns, other ones may not. So be really cautious. And it's perfectly okay for you to get those answers from parents. And if parents aren't willing to answer questions about what they're doing with guns in their homes, are they licensed? Do they have a ccw? Get your kid the fuck out of their house. I don't care. There's no secrets around my child. I will do anything to protect my child. And if you aren't going to be forthcoming about the potential dangers in your home, my kid ain't staying in your home. Period. Now, in my home, we have guns. The guns are all in safes. The safes are charged. The safes are hidden. They are all opened by my fingerprint or my husband's fingerprint. So there's no numerical code that a kid can figure out. Now, they do have a key for emergencies, which I have hid, and it is thoroughly hidden. So even my daughter, who can unlock anything, is not going to be able to find the key. And I am very forthcoming with that with the parents, too. Another conversation I have is around swimming pools, around knives in the home, around medication in the home. I want to make sure that in my home and in a home my child is going to, that there is no potential for danger. And if there is any potential, like a swimming pool, I want to make sure that they're safe. So, for example, it's perfectly okay to ask someone, hey, you have a swimming pool. What do you plan on doing today? Are you going to watch the children? Do you plan on drinking alcohol during the day? If you do drink, how much are you going to drink? Do you usually pass out during the day? Do you do drugs? All of these questions are so important. And if you don't know these answers and you don't trust these parents, don't let your children go over there. If you want to host something or meet at a joint place like a park, go for it or have people over to your house because you know that you're looking into safety. You would be very surprised by how few parents really care, how few parents really think about this stuff. I have had numerous calls with cps. I have had to deal with so many parents who have lost custody because of cps, finding out things that have happened, like parents, parents passing out and kids walking down the street, parents passing out and kids falling in the lake or the river. And some of the worst have been the ending of lives of some of their siblings. Even more horrible are when kids have come over and they've passed away at someone else's house. And of course, the terrifying moments of when a child finds a gun and uses it against themselves or a friend and it's a mistake, they don't know what they're doing. But these are all preventable moments. And we can feel empowered to be on the same page that we brought our children into the world, that we love our fucking children and we want to keep them safe. And I don't want to be around any adults who don't feel the same way as me. That's it. My kid is not going to have a friend who has parents who don't care about safety. And I will happily explain that to my child in appropriate age. Related language. Now this is also followed up in school. So if your kid is around a kid you don't want to associate with because of their parents, this is a conversation for the teacher. This is a conversation for the principal. Everyone can be very aware of the dynamics of these situations. And we don't want to have massive group parties in the classroom. We don't want to push relationships. You can have your child sit at a different table. You can have plans during a party so that you don't have to bring your child to a home that is unsafe. But I say all this because I just want to remind you that your voice, your intuition, your gut is so much more important than hoping everything's gonna be okay. We're gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back.

[Straight Arrow News Announcer]

Straight Arrow News Find facts and context you've been craving. Quickly find trusted information you need to understand the news. Watch what you want when you want. Catch up on the news at home or on the go with your own news queue. Dive deep into the topics that matter to you and the world around you. Navigate everything you need to know about the topics shaping your world. Understand how every side of the political spectrum is reporting on a story so you get a full picture of the news. Welcome back to trustworthy journalism.

[Washable Sofas Advertiser]

San.com there's nothing like sinking into luxury. At washablesofas.com you'll find the Annabe sofa which combines ultimate comfort and design at an affordable price. And get this, it's the only sofa that's fully machine washable from top to bottom. Starting at only $699, the stain resistant performance fabric, slipcovers and cloud like frame duvet can go straight into your wash. Perfect for anyone with kids, pets or anyone who loves an easy to clean spotless sofa. With a modular design and changeable slip covers, you can customize your sofa to fit any space and style. Whether you need a single chair, loveseat or a luxuriously large sectional, Annabe has you covered. Visit washablesofas.com to upgrade your home. Right now you can shop up to 60% off store wide with a 30 day money back guarantee. Shop [e-mail] Add a little to your life. Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

[LG XBoom Advertiser]

Stop settling for weak sound. It's time to level up your game and bring the boom. Hit the town with the ultra durable LG X Boom portable speaker and enjoy vibrant sound wherever you go. Elevate your listening experience to new heights because let's be real, your music deserves hit. The future of sound is now with LG XBoom and for a limited time save 25% at LG.com with code fall25 bring the boom XBoom there's a lot.

[Cynthia Littleton]

Going on in Hollywood. How are you supposed to stay on top of it all? Variety has the solution. Take 20 minutes out of your day and listen to the new daily Variety podcast for breaking entertainment news and expert perspectives.

[Dr. Leslie]

Where do you see the business actually heading?

[Cynthia Littleton]

Featuring the iconic journalists of Variety and hosted by co editor in chief Cynthia Littleton.

[Dr. Leslie]

The only constant in Hollywood is change.

[Cynthia Littleton]

Open your free iHeartradio app, search daily Variety and listen. Now.

[Guardian Bikes / Uber Eats / Sephora Advertiser]

We've all heard the stories. Missing persons, double lives, suspicious basements. But here's one mystery you don't need in your life. Why can't my kid learn to ride a bike? For a lot of families, it turns into a saga. Meltdowns in the driveway, scraped knees and frustrated parents Googling how to teach a kid to ride a bike without losing your mind. That's where Guardian Bikes comes in. Their bikes are lightweight, low to the ground, and built to help kids find their balance fast. Most are riding confidently in just one day. No training wheels, no tears, just high fives and I did it moments. It's everything. Learning to ride should be simple, smooth, and actually fun. So skip the struggle and start with a bike that's made to make it easy. Guardian bikes go to guardianbikes.com you'll save hundreds when comparing Guardian to its competitors. Plus get a free bike lock and pump a $50 value with your purchase when you join their newsletter. That's guardianbikes.com Now I know there's a.

[Dr. Leslie]

Lot of controversy with this next question. So we have a question from Betty and it is about sleepovers. At what age do you allow sleepover? My answer? Never. Sorry, never. My kids will never sleep over at anyone's house. As someone who has specialized in sleep treatments, in cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia, there is such a range of sleep disorders. This is one reason I don't let my kids sleep at other people's houses. Adults have night terrors. Adult sleepwalk. Adults are fucking weird. We all know that. I'm weird, you're weird, and children sleepwalk. Children have night terrors. When a child sleeps in a different room or a different environment, it alters their sleep cycle and they will do weird things sometimes. So that's just unsafe to me altogether, and I want to prevent that. But even more so, the most common type of child abuse is molestation. And it happens in the home, your own home, or a family member or a close friend's home. It happens from not only the adult, but other children. So when are you most vulnerable? Well, you're most vulnerable when you're asleep. Do you want your child in a vulnerable position away from you, where you cannot protect them and they get molested, sexually assaulted? Is it Worth that sleepover. I have never once spoken to an adult who said, I'm still mad at my parents. They wouldn't let me sleep over. No. Every single adult. And I welcome your feedback. Every single adult has said, I am so glad my parents never let me sleep over because I never got sexually assaulted. And I never had to work through that when I had seen other people around me work through that and their pain and their struggle through their entire fucking lives. Because sexual abuse does not go away in our mind, in our body, in our emotions, ever. It becomes a piece of who you are because it is such a violent, disturbing, and distressing act. Okay, so why are we talking about all of this? I'm not trying to fear monger. I'm trying to empower you. And you can be empowered through education, but more so you can be empowered through trusting your intuition, trusting your gut. And the more you focus on that, you will find words to describe that quicker and easier. And you will use those words before you allow your child to be in a situation that you're not comfortable with, before you allow yourself to answer the door when it's a stranger and you're alone at home. So what we have to do is think about this. All of these situations, we need to practice them in our mind. We need to remind ourselves that we are strong. We can do anything. We really, really can. We are unstoppable as humans, especially as women. But we are often in a society that gaslights us, that breaks down our confidence. There is a great deal of misogyny. We are still fighting to find our voice. And people like to bully. People like to bully. The individuals who stand out, individuals who ask questions, individuals who want to be authentic, who yearn for transparency. And so you have to keep reminding yourself that even if I stand alone in these questions, they are important. They are important to me. They are important to my child. I am modeling this behavior to my child to be strong and to protect him or herself. I wrote a little book on this, basically how to trust your intuition and get rid of energy vampires. I also have this on my website. It's a free little game where you can put, like, little images of people around that drain your energy or increase your energy. And it's displayed through a cup of wine. So if there's more wine, then you're choosing those interactions around you better. So check out my website because it's kind of a fun thing to do. But thank you again for tuning in to intentionally disturbing and listening and learning and being open to maybe trying things a little different, trying new things and listening to new things. I will be back with another Q and A because we have so many questions coming in, but for now I want to thank you and I'll catch you next time. Intentionally Disturbing is a podcast from me, Dr. Leslie. It's distributed by I Heart Media. Liam Billingham is the senior producer and he also edits the show and puts up with my Katie Cobbs does the social media and she attempts to keep me in my lane. Not always successful. The executive producers are Paul Anderson and Scott McCarthy for Workhouse Media who have told me not to text them 24 7. But you know what? I'm still the boss. Thanks again for listening. We'll see you next week for more.

[Straight Arrow News Announcer]

Intentionally disturbing Straight Arrow News Find facts and context you've been craving. Quickly find trusted information you need to understand the news. Watch what you want when you want. Catch up on the news at home or on the go with your own news queue. Dive deep into the topics that matter to you and the world around you. Navigate everything you need to know about the topics shaping your world. Understand how every side of the political spectrum is reporting on a story so you get a full picture of the news. Welcome back to trustworthy journalism.

[Dr. Leslie]

San.com Time for a sofa upgrade?

[Washable Sofas Advertiser]

Visit washablesofas.com and discover annabe where designer style meets budget friendly prices with sofas starting at $699, Annabe brings you the ultimate in furniture innovation with a modular design that allows you to rearrange your space effortlessly. Perfect for both small and large spaces, Anibe is the only machine washable sofa inside and out. Say goodbye to stains and messes with liquid and stain resistant fabrics that make cleaning easy. Liquid simply slides right off. Designed for custom comfort, our high resilience foam lets you choose between a sink and feel or a supportive memory foam blend. Plus, our pet friendly stain resistant fabrics ensure your sofa stays beautiful for years. Don't compromise quality for price. Visit washablesofas.com to upgrade your living space today with no risk returns and a 30 day money back guarantee. Get up to 60% off plus free shipping and free returns. Shop now at washablesofas.com Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

[Dr. Leslie]

Check out the new season of Reasonable Doubt now streaming on Hulu L A s most successful attorney Jack Stewart defends a young actor accused of murder. Follow Emma Yahtzee, Coronaldi, Morris Chestnut, Joseph Sakura and guest stars Kash Doll and Lori Harvey as they fight their personal battles in the spotlight of the year's most sensational trial. In the pursuit of justice, every move counts. Reasonable Doubts Season 3 now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney for bundle subscribers.

[Guardian Bikes / Uber Eats / Sephora Advertiser]

Terms apply.

[Dr. Leslie]

This episode is brought to you by Uber Eats.

[Guardian Bikes / Uber Eats / Sephora Advertiser]

Facing a beauty emergency?

[Dr. Leslie]

Need a last minute gift? Well, don't panic. Sephora is now available for delivery on Uber Eats. You can now get all your beauty essentials delivered in as little as 25 minutes for the same price as in store. Plus treat yourself to $10 off when you spend $50 or more on your first Sephora order on the Uber Eats app.

[Guardian Bikes / Uber Eats / Sephora Advertiser]

Order Sephora on Uber Eats today.

[Dr. Leslie]

Offer ends October 30th. One order per customer. Additional terms apply. Seat availability delivery fees may apply. Goodbye.

[LG XBoom Advertiser]

Have you ever heard a story so.

[Dr. Leslie]

Unbelievable it just had to be true? Roofman is the jaw dropping new film about Jeffrey Manchester, played by Channing Tatum, a man who becomes infamous for breaking.

[LG XBoom Advertiser]

Into over 40 McDonald's through the roof, then secretly living inside of Toys R.

[Dr. Leslie]

Us for six months. With humor, suspense and heart, Roofman is.

[LG XBoom Advertiser]

A cat and mouse story that will.

[Dr. Leslie]

Keep you hooked until the very end. Don't miss Roofman.

[LG XBoom Advertiser]

Only in theaters October 10th.

[Dr. Leslie]

This is an I Heart podcast.