Podcast
Intimacy After Infidelity | Cut Contact, Rebuild Trust, Shed Shame, Avoid Divorce, Forgiveness for Adultery
Hosted by Kristina Joy | Affair Recovery Coach, Spiritual Healing, Emotional Healing · EN
The go-to podcast for Christian women who are ready to heal their hearts, shed their shame, and come home to freedom in Christ.
Ranked Top 2.5% Globally
Do you ever wish someone would truly see you, not look past you or through you?
Are you lying awake at night wondering if your marriage can survive infidelity...or if it’s time to let go?
Are you exhausted from Googling answers, trying to fix things, and still feeling unheard, unseen, and stuck in shame
You’re not alone. And you’re in the right place.
This podcast is a sacred, steady space for women navigating betrayal, emotional disconnection, separation, or the aftermath of an affair, who want more than surface-level faith answers. Here, we talk honestly about the heart, the body, the soul, and the brain, and what it actually looks like to let Jesus heal what’s been wounded.
I’m so glad you’re here.
I’m Kristina Joy, forgiven daughter of Jesus, mom, and coach. For years, I tried to break free from my own infidelity through sheer willpower, "doing more," and striving to be better. I read my Bible more. I tried to behave my way into freedom. None of it worked.
Everything changed when I stopped trying to fix myself and allowed Jesus to meet me in the deeper places like my pain, my patterns, my unmet needs. Through prayer, research, embodied healing practices, and new rhythms of truth and grace, I discovered real freedom. Not just from the affair, but from shame, secrecy, and self-abandonment.
On this podcast, you’ll find:
- A reminder that your dignity, worth, and identity are not up for debate
- Emotional and nervous-system awareness for real transformation
- Coaching guidance for clarity, boundaries, communication, and trust
- Gentle truth for women deciding what restoration actually means for them
Whether your marriage is being rebuilt or released, you are allowed to heal. You are allowed to choose freedom. You are allowed to become whole.
If you’re ready to:
Stop living in secrecy and self-condemnation
Experience God’s love without fear or striving
Break familiar patterns for good
Live with clarity, strength, dignity, and peace
Then take a breath, find your safe space, and press play.
This is where healing begins and where you come home to yourself, with Jesus.
---
Let’s Connect:
Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity
Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching
Email:
55episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
140 | You Are Allowed to Have Needs: GUEST Beatriz Vargas, a Marriage Therapist Tells the Truth
4d ago00:40:23Tap to summarize🌊 Curious about the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) Who am I to ask for what I want when my husband is the one who's hurting? If that question has lived in you, this episode is your answer. Today I'm joined by Beatriz Vargas, host of The Grace Fueled Wife podcast, certified marriage coach, and marriage and family therapist. Bea walked through her own season of a loveless, disconnected marriage, her husband left, and she watched God bring it all back as something she never thought possible. Now she coaches and counsels wives navigating the hardest seasons of their marriages. We go deep on communication, worthiness, and what it actually looks like to have a voice in your marriage when you're the one who caused harm. We explore: Why affairs don't happen in a vacuum The critical difference between forgiveness and reconciliation (and why mixing them up keeps couples stuck) Why you are still worthy of having your needs met even after what happened The I-statement shift that changed Bea's marriage and how to start using it How to pray differently, from "God, change him" to something that actually moves things What emotional safety is and why it's the foundation of every conversation that matters Connect with Bea: 💙 Website: www.thegracefueledwife.com 🎙 Podcast: The Grace Fueled Wife (plus hear Kristina's conversation with Bea!) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/e220-finding-intimacy-after-infidelity-w-kristina-joy/id1499138632?i=1000776264746 If today's conversation stirred something in you, email me! I'd love to hear what landed. And if September is calling you, the Encounter Retreat is September 25–27 in Panama City Beach. Email me the word RETREAT and let's talk. Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: www.learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com
Transcribe →139 | The Body-Spirit Connection: When You’re in Survival Mode During Affair Recovery
6d ago00:25:04Tap to summarize🌊 Curious about the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) You prayed about it. You made the decision. You posted Scripture every day for 90 days. And then your phone buzzed. And you answered. If you've ever watched yourself do something you hated (in slow motion, knowing better, unable to stop) this episode is for you. Not because something is wrong with you. Because your body was in survival mode. And your body needed help that willpower could not provide. Today I'm talking about the spirit-body mismatch that so many women in affair recovery experience and why faith alone doesn't calm the nervous system, why God works through the body not around it, and what body-based healing actually looks like in real life. We explore: Romans 7:18-19 and what Paul's experience of doing what he didn't want to do tells us about the nervous system Why willpower fails under stress, and the neuroscience that explains what was actually happening when you kept going back The Incarnation: God sent a body because He heals through the body 1 Corinthians 6, why sexual sin is specifically a bodily matter, and why that makes your body central to your healing Three body-first practices that helped me before I even had the language of somatics Why prayer alone wasn't enough Your one step: notice one moment this week where your body is speaking. Don't fix it. Just name it. Email me and tell me what you noticed. I'd love to hear from you! This is a real relationship. Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: www.learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com
Transcribe →138 | Can God Really Forgive a Woman Who Had an Affair? Here's What the Gospel Actually Says
1w ago00:18:30Tap to summarize🌊 Curious about the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) Can God really forgive me? I know He forgave me, but I don't feel forgiven. Maybe God forgave me, but can I forgive myself? If one of those questions is yours, this episode was made for you. Today I'm stepping away from affair recovery frameworks and going straight to the root: the Gospel. Not the Sunday school version. The personal version where sin has a name, and grace has to be big enough to cover that name or it isn't big enough at all. I share the moment the Gospel got personal for me while crying in a church pew week after week, realizing for the first time that Jesus didn't die for "sin" in the abstract. He died because of my specific, named, documented choices. And what that realization did to everything else. We explore: Romans 5:8- while we were still sinners and why that timing changes everything The three questions women ask most about forgiveness Why refusing to forgive yourself is not love or humility Why God's primary posture toward you is love and protection, not punishment What it means to come home to the Father This is the foundation everything else is built on. Without this, nothing else holds. After you listen, would email me and tell me what landed? I read every one and I respond personally. This is a relationship, not a broadcast. Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: www.learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com
Transcribe →137 | You're Not Meant to Heal From an Affair in Secret: How Safe Community Heals Your Brain
2w ago00:22:19Tap to summarize🌊 Curious about the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) Why do I feel so alone after my affair? How do I find someone safe to tell? And what actually happens in my brain when I'm finally known? Today's episode answers these with personal story, brain science, and Scripture. Because here's the truth: you were never designed to heal in secret. And the research backs it up. Princeton neuroscientist Uri Hasson found that when a speaker shares a story and a listener truly receives it, their brain activity begins to synchronize. You are literally no longer neurologically alone in your story. And every time you name something true and someone holds it with care, your brain builds a new pathway. One where safety feels possible and shame loses its grip. We explore: Why "if anyone really knew, they'd leave" is a lie and how I kept proving it wrong with coworkers, church friends, and even my mom The Princeton brain science behind speaker-listener neural coupling and why healing needs a witness, not just willpower Psalm 139: what it means to be fully known and still called wonderfully made and how that becomes the template for human safety 4 practical markers of a safe person: body intuition, shared faith, continued community, and fruit on their tree Why being known once isn't enough and why community is part of the healing mechanism, not a bonus If you don't have that safe person yet, I’d love to be part of building that answer. The Encounter Retreat is September 25–27 in Panama City Beach. Email me the word RETREAT and let's talk. Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com
Transcribe →135 | How to Actually Hear God and Heal After an Affair: A Conversation on Shame with Heather O'Brien
2w ago00:24:02Tap to summarize🌊 Ready for the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) Have you ever wondered if God can even hear your prayers when you're living in sin? Have you felt the weight of believing that if you run home to Him, you'll be met with disappointment? Today I'm sitting down with Heather O'Brien, healing coach, author, and host of the Heal With God podcast, for one of the most practically powerful conversations I've had on this show. Heather helps Christians who love Jesus but still feel stuck, learn how to hear God clearly, heal deeply, and walk it out. And in this conversation, she gave me tools I genuinely wish I'd had years ago. We explore: Why feeling blocked from God while living in sin is more about us than Him The critical difference between God's loving correction and condemnation Two of the most healing prayers you can pray: "God, it hurt when...and it made me feel..." The question that can surface hidden lies about who God is: "What lie am I believing about You right now?" Why healing in a faith-based space is radically different from healing anywhere else If you've been crying into your pillow without bringing it to God, this one is for you 💙 Connect with Heather O'Brien: 🌐 Free monthly Heal With God Workshop: www.healwithgodworkshop.com 🎙 Podcast: Heal With God, available on all podcast platforms After you listen, email me and tell me what landed! I read every single one 🤍 If this episode stirred something deeper, a longing to go further in a room full of safe women, the Encounter Retreat is September 25–27 in Panama City Beach, FL. Email me the word RETREAT and let's talk more. Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com
Transcribe →136 | Still Thinking About Him After Going No Contact? Here's What Your Brain Is Actually Doing
3w ago00:24:39Tap to summarize🌊 Ready for the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) You cut contact. You're doing the work. And he's still showing up in your head! Uninvited, frustrating, relentless. Today I'm giving you the neuroscience behind why that's happening, and a practical framework for what to do when it does. This is a part 2 to EP 123 on limerence, and it goes deeper into two specific brain mechanisms: the Default Mode Network and attachment protest behavior. We explore: What the Default Mode Network is and why your idle moments are when the thoughts are loudest Attachment protest behavior and why cutting contact can actually make the longing feel stronger before it gets quieter Why certain triggers fire the thought even when you've been doing well The shift from shame to curiosity: asking "what does this thought tell me about what I need right now?" instead of "why can't this stop?" Practical tools for the idle moments Next time the thought arrives, pause and ask, what does this tell me about what I need right now? Write it down. That's where healing starts. 🕊️ Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com
Transcribe →135 | How to Actually Hear God and Heal After an Affair: A Conversation on Shame with Heather O'Brien
3w ago00:24:02Tap to summarize🌊 Ready for the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) Have you ever wondered if God can even hear your prayers when you're living in sin? Have you felt the weight of believing that if you run home to Him, you'll be met with disappointment? Today I'm sitting down with Heather O'Brien, healing coach, author, and host of the Heal With God podcast, for one of the most practically powerful conversations I've had on this show. Heather helps Christians who love Jesus but still feel stuck, learn how to hear God clearly, heal deeply, and walk it out. And in this conversation, she gave me tools I genuinely wish I'd had years ago. We explore: Why feeling blocked from God while living in sin is more about us than Him The critical difference between God's loving correction and condemnation Two of the most healing prayers you can pray: "God, it hurt when...and it made me feel..." The question that can surface hidden lies about who God is: "What lie am I believing about You right now?" Why healing in a faith-based space is radically different from healing anywhere else If you've been crying into your pillow without bringing it to God, this one is for you 💙 Connect with Heather O'Brien: 🌐 Free monthly Heal With God Workshop: www.healwithgodworkshop.com 🎙 Podcast: Heal With God, available on all podcast platforms After you listen, email me and tell me what landed! I read every single one 🤍 If this episode stirred something deeper, a longing to go further in a room full of safe women, the Encounter Retreat is September 25–27 in Panama City Beach, FL. Email me the word RETREAT and let's talk more. Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com
Transcribe →134 | You're Not Allowed to Be Happy Yet: The Lie That's Quietly Stealing Your Healing
4w ago00:21:44Tap to summarize🌊 Ready for the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) "Am I allowed to be happy when my husband is still hurting because of me?" That's the question a client asked me, and I've heard versions of it more times than I can count. Today I'm answering it directly, with theology, with neuroscience, and with my own story of accidentally putting joy on hold for far longer than I needed to. We explore: The hidden belief underneath every "I don't deserve joy" thought (and why it’s a lie) Psalm 16:11 and what it actually means that fullness of joy is in His presence, not at the end of your healing journey Why your suffering is not helping anyone The difference between Regulating Joy and Expansive Joy How to build your own Expansive Joy Menu Email me and let me know what your JOY activity will be this week! 🕊️ Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com
Transcribe →133 | Am I Still Welcome? What Encountering God Actually Looks Like After an Affair
4w ago00:20:57Tap to summarize🌊 Ready for the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) For years during my affair I felt like the poster child for hypocrite every time I tried to pray, take communion, or lead devotions. Shame told me I had no right. That God doesn't hear prayers when you're living in sin. Today I want to talk about what actually broke that loop for me, and what it means to have a real encounter with God, not just information, after walking away from Him. We explore: Why willpower and devotionals alone will never be enough The pattern you cannot miss in Scripture: every person who walked into something significant first had an encounter with God What Psalm 23 and the prodigal son showed me about whether I was still welcome The grounding phrase that has anchored my entire healing journey: be present where your feet are How to create the conditions for a real encounter P.S. Want the 7-day devotional that walks through the Scriptures that were most influential in my own healing? Email me the word DEVOTIONAL and I'll send you the link! 🕊️ Let's Connect: 🙏 Grab your 7-Day Devotional HERE 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com
Transcribe →132 | Still Feeling Like Roommates? 5 Ways to Build Oxytocin in Your Marriage After An Affair
Jun 2500:22:51Tap to summarize🌊 Ready for the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) Closeness after an affair doesn't come back all at once, and you can't think your way into it. Today I'm getting practical and a little scientific about what actually rebuilds intimacy in a marriage after infidelity: oxytocin, the bonding hormone, and five simple ways to start activating it at home. We explore: What oxytocin actually is, why betrayal disrupts it, and why you need to rebuild it at the biological level before closeness will feel natural again Why your internal posture matters more than any tactic Five practical, science-backed ways to rebuild oxytocin Why joy is not a betrayal of the seriousness of your healing- it's part of how you rebuild Pick one of these five this week, and let me know how it goes! Not because you have to. Because you're choosing your healing 🕊️ Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com
Transcribe →