When a high conflict person says it's all your fault, most reasonable people do something predictable — they start wondering what they did wrong. That instinct toward self-reflection is healthy in most relationships. With high conflict people, it becomes a trap.

Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, co-founders of the High Conflict Institute, unpack why high conflict personalities blame with an intensity that triggers your brain's threat-detection system — and why that intensity is precisely what makes you absorb guilt that isn't yours. They cover how to reality-test yourself when the blame lands hard, what to expect when you finally set a limit, and how to sit with the backlash without retreating into self-doubt.

It's All Your Fault is produced by TruStory FM.

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Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area.

(00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
(00:43) - It’s NOT Your Fault
(02:22) - Why Do HCPs Blame?
(07:00) - Absorbing Guilt
(13:31) - Example
(17:36) - Setting Limits and Potential Backlash
(19:28) - Why HCPs Escalate
(24:20) - Grow Used to Uncomfortable Feelings
(26:29) - Knowing When It’s Not Safe
(28:28) - Key Takeaways
(29:27) - Wrap Up