Josh Welch (3:17)

Let me just stop you there. That would be the sort of understatement. So I'm on the side table with my legs in full view. Me with these knee high socks, like short shorts, short workout shorts, not knowing that this was going to happen. And I'm rendering these somewhat serious legal opinions about things quasi serious. All the time. I'm wearing this get up. And I'm sure that any sort of casual viewer that just sort of hopped on is thinking, okay, what the fuck is this going on?

Jennifer Welch (3:49)

Okay, it's not just any sort of casual viewer. Every other comment I would say four out of five comments was, what the is Josh Jones? Why does he have any pants on? But here was something interesting that I discovered that day. Listener. And everybody knows my husband's rather vain. And so I noticed, which we went to the gym together. He does like to wear short shorts. I mean, he's got good legs. Got it. Flaunted. Whatevs, right? Okay. I mean, throw the patriots a bone. No big deal there. But I did notice that you wore compression socks. And so I asked him just rather straight up, I said, are those compression socks? And you were like, oh, yeah, I love them. And then you immediately go, is there something wrong with them? And I go, well, they're kind of like old man socks, like hiked up. It was just a really interesting look considering you really spend a lot of time curating your outfits together. I was so surprised. And I support if you need compression at your age, darling, I support that.

Josh Welch (4:47)

Thank you. I am so shallow that the thought that anyone would look at something I'm wearing and then have some hesitation about it. So that instantly sort of jarred some sort of insecurity in me. And I don't. I like a high sock because I've got these trashy tattoos from like the 90s that I got in Arkansas. And so I like to cover those.

Jennifer Welch (5:09)

That's a complete lie. You did not get those tattoos in the 90s in Arkansas. You got them when you were like 40 something. We were married and I remember it crystal clear.

Josh Welch (5:18)

A couple of them were. I was sitting maybe 1098.

Jennifer Welch (5:22)

Not these on the calves? No, these were. You were 40 something years old.

Josh Welch (5:26)

Anyway, these long socks I like. And the compression, I think, does help with circulation. But I didn't realize it was a sign of aging that looking at someone wearing compression socks, you immediately equate that to kind of an old man. And once that dawned on me, I thought, okay, these compression socks are going to have to go. Like, I don't know that I can.

Jennifer Welch (5:44)

Have you worn them since then?

Josh Welch (5:46)

Yes, but not pulled up to that extent. And in fairness to me, I was not told that this look was going to be shown on the Internet to hundreds of thousands of people. I didn't know that. Had I been given some notice of that, I would have adjusted my wardrobe.

Jennifer Welch (6:01)

I think our listener liked it. I think our listener liked it. Here's the thing. We put out so much content, and then how fun for them that they're, you know, like, oh, they're in New York pumps downtown. Oh, the husband's subbing in. Then all of a sudden, there's a wide shot, and it looks like you're sitting there in your goddamn panties. That's exciting. In Trump's America.

Josh Welch (6:18)

And then I like to share that with Jennifer. I go, jennifer, I look like a buffoon. And of course, she just gets this glowing look on her face like, I know. Isn't it great? You know, it's like, zero empathy for my presentation. Keep in mind, I do have a law firm that I practice at, so I'm on the Internet looking like a buffoon.

Jennifer Welch (6:37)

But, hey, it's exciting. I think it's exciting that. I think it's exciting that you were reporting legal matters in your panties. Kylie, did you notice when you first got the footage? Because the studio would have sent it to you to edit. What's the first thing you noticed when you saw the footage? And then, please elaborate on the comments on YouTube.

Kylie (6:59)

I'm so glad you brought this up, because we had an incident, like, I don't know, two years ago where Josh was mad at me because I didn't tell him about his panties that he was wearing in that episode.

Jennifer Welch (7:09)

Yeah.

Kylie (7:10)

So I get this footage, I pull it up, and he did it again. I couldn't believe it. I thought, this must truly be a choice. So I didn't say anything.

Josh Welch (7:19)

You thought I was going for that look?

Kylie (7:21)

Yeah. I think you wanted the comments a little bit.

Josh Welch (7:24)

I want to get spicy. And I do want to say this. I do want to give Emma a shout out and say, I apologize. Like, I'm sure I showed up like that. And she was very smart, intellectual person, and great guest. And I'm sure She was like, okay, what's the story here? So I did want to provide some context for the viewers and just sort of get that grievance off my chest. It's kind of set with me over the past few weeks, but I've gotten past it.

Jennifer Welch (7:50)

I think it's fun. I think it's exciting for podcasting, I think it was a curveball and sometimes the mundane content that comes out. Jennifer's husband subbing. Oh, he's not wearing pants. I thought it was exciting and fun, didn't you, Kylie?

Kylie (8:03)

I did. I thought it was nice. And honestly, Josh, it's really good for our algorithm. So thank you for taking one for the team.

Josh Welch (8:08)

That's good. Thank you. Thank you.

Jennifer Welch (8:10)

Okay, let me tell you guys what I've had it with. So I've had it with something to do with my husband. He. When he orders from a particular fast food restaurant on Doordash, somehow my phone number is synced with this taco shop, so he's ordering his own meal. That has nothing to do with me. I'm even in a different state. I'm in New York, he's in Oklahoma, and I start getting text alerts. Thank you for placing your order at the taco shop. I'm FaceTiming with him. And this goes down. I got six notifications for your doordash order, and I. It wasn't even food for me. And I don't know how I'm involved in this relationship with you in the taco shop in Doordash. I don't know how I get out. I don't know how to unsubscribe. I want to take a poll that says I don't want to be a part of this relationship.

Josh Welch (9:13)

I want. First of all, me hearing this makes me want to order tacos every day. Number one, that's number one. Let's get that out. Number two, it's a little bit. I would like to say it's a little bit of intentional payback for me dressing up like a clown on your podcast, but it's not. But I do sort of welcome the. Sort of. Like, you enjoy the kind of, you know, the pettiness in it. I kind of do, too. And the fact that I think you shared with me that you get a notification when the order's made, you get an update on the order before it's actually leaving the store, then you get an update when it's left, you get an update when it's arriving, then you get an update when it's dropped off.

Jennifer Welch (9:53)

Okay, here it is. Hi, Josh Welch. Your order from the taco shop has been confirmed. Hey, Josh Welch, your order from the taco shop is being delivered. Hey, Josh Welch, your delivery driver has arrived. Hey, your dasher has picked up your order. Jason is approaching. Thanks for ordering. Please take this poll. All of this was within a 15 minute period. It's, it's, it's texting terrorism. And I didn't consent to this.

Josh Welch (10:23)

That makes me so happy. I want to go in and amend every other account that I have to get you kind of cc'd on this. So if you're tucked away in Manhattan and I'm down here in the throes of Oklahoma, I want you to be in the midst of some important meeting and get some ding, ding on your phone that is nonstop about me ordering some cheeseburger or some taco. And that would just bring my heart the biggest amount of joy and love that I think I could possibly ever receive.

Jennifer Welch (10:53)

All right, all right. Welcome to I've had It, America's top DEI podcast. Happy Thanksgiving to everybody. Kylie, how are you?

Kylie (11:02)

I am good. Happy Thanksgiving. Tell her.

Jennifer Welch (11:05)

Let me ask you this. Did you get a light out there? Do you have a light?

Kylie (11:07)

No. This is me raw.

Jennifer Welch (11:09)

That's glow.

Kylie (11:10)

Yeah, this is just my natural glow.

Jennifer Welch (11:11)

You're like, you look good.

Kylie (11:12)

I actually did a face mask last night.

Jennifer Welch (11:14)

It looks good.

Josh Welch (11:14)

Big Thanksgiving day plans, Kylie. Let's hear about it.

Kylie (11:17)

I have to go to Memphis, Tennessee.

Josh Welch (11:19)

Ouch.

Kylie (11:19)

Yeah. So we're gonna go from red state to red state to celebrate Thanksgiving.

Josh Welch (11:25)

Well, that. That's a straight shot down I40, so enjoy. Go eat turkey.

Kylie (11:29)

Thank you so much.

Josh Welch (11:30)

Have fun with the fam.

Kylie (11:31)

Thank you. I've got some reviews for you guys.

Jennifer Welch (11:33)

Okay, let's see them.

Kylie (11:34)

This one is five stars, titled Hope as a blue dot in a red state. And they write, I'm a first gen American born citizen who happens to be a blue dot in a red state. This podcast has restored a bit of hope that I and people who look like me are not alone. It's a breath of fresh air and I'm so glad to have found it. Please continue being the voice for those of us who feel voiceless.

Jennifer Welch (11:56)

That is so nice. That is just so good that one thing that has happened since we started the podcast is we're building a community where people can feel comradery and safety and support.

Josh Welch (12:09)

I think that's one of the main threads that I see consistently when I see people that recognize you and want to come up and talk to you is that they feel like their voice is finally being heard on the Internet and that there's someone that feels the same way they do about a lot of these important issues and that you're vocal about that. And that's. That's exactly why I think you do this podcast is for people like that to feel a sense of hope and community with other people that are like minded.

Jennifer Welch (12:36)

Yeah, Kylie.

Kylie (12:39)

Okay, the next one is five stars titled Refreshing and Louisiana Liberal writes. Man, how awesome and refreshing is it to hear a couple of southern or southwestern white women speaking the truth and not sugarcoating anything? You ladies are giving these maggots and the. The maga crats their comeuppance and a taste of their own medicine, which they can't stand. Anything that gets their hidden peonies all wadded up is music to my ears. Keep up the great work, ladies.

Jennifer Welch (13:06)

It's true that MAGA people in general, they love to criticize and, you know, troll everybody. And the minute you put a mirror up in their face or you troll them back, it is meltdown. Titty baby city. These guys are snowflakes of the highest order. You call out any hypocrisy about their white nationalist dream and the way they vote that they actually like to watch athletes that happen to be black or eat at a Mexican restaurant. You call them out for that and they act like they are under attack. It's just pathetic.

Josh Welch (13:44)

And I'm sure that there's little people everywhere that when they see those clips, they just get this big grin on their face saying, yes, somebody's saying these things that we feel. And it sort of gives them a sense of hope.

Jennifer Welch (13:58)

I think it's important because what we're all experiencing is like this mass abuse by narcissist and then his sycophants. And it feels so isolating and overwhelming at times. And then you can see, like, now we know that Maga America first movement is built on a bot farm based in Nigeria and Russia, that it's all bullshit. But you can feel like, oh my God, they're taking over. And then you real. No, there's a lot more of us. We just have a lot more to do in our lives. Like liberals in particular, we don't just sit on the Internet and troll all day. And so you either have a bot that does that or the real full blown cultists, like their whole identity is like the Trump assassination photo.

Josh Welch (14:42)

Right? And I think it's interesting. I saw yesterday Marjorie Taylor Greene, you know, she's resigning after sort of being in the throes of Maga hell for a week or two. And I heard this other commenter say, basically, I've been in the throes of maga hell for years. So you're getting one week of it and you're deciding to dip. Out I go. Welcome to the real world.

Jennifer Welch (15:03)

Exactly.

Josh Welch (15:04)

Which is where you all live day in and day out. So. And kudos to you all for fading the heat and bringing the truth.

Jennifer Welch (15:12)

Yes, thank you. And I noticed that as soon as Fox starts browbeating us all the time. Kylie, I think you can attest to this. We get like docs with a bunch of one star reviews. So do me a favor, listener and viewer, if you have not reviewed our podcast, go and flood it with five stars. We're probably only four star podcasts, to be quite honest, but I think you can go ahead and do a five for the country, right, Kylie?

Josh Welch (15:37)

Go ahead and throw in my name if it's anything to do with this episode. Or me.

Jennifer Welch (15:41)

Talk about the compression socks. The compression socks and the panties. It's too bad we don't have a wide shot today because he does have on a really cute pair of blue jeans.

Josh Welch (15:50)

We save the wide shot.

Jennifer Welch (15:52)

We have a wide shot, but not one. That peekaboo is under the table. This episode of I've had it is brought to you by booking.com pumps. I've got to say, if you're looking to grow your vacation rental business, this is the place to be. Booking.com is one of the most downloaded travel apps in the entire world. And for good reason. Since 2010, they've helped over 1.8 billion vacation rental guests find places to stay. That's billion with a B. But here's the thing. Most vacation rentals don't even realize they can list their properties on booking.com and if you're not on the platform, your rental is basically invisible to millions of booking.com travelers worldwide.

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Kylie (19:30)

Speaking of some of this, I have a news story tailored just for our guest. Okay, it's from Elle and it says people who repeatedly post their workouts on social media have narcissistic traits. According to new study and according to the research, people who post frequently about their workouts display a clear primary motivation to boast about their looks or at least about the amount of time invested in physical appearance.

Jennifer Welch (19:57)

Okay, this is a prime example of where I've had it blew the whistle two and a half three years ago and now the scientists are doing the research that confirm our findings. A couple of points I want to make here about Josh. Number one, I Noticed? Well, my. Our youngest son noticed. It showed up in the algorithm. Josh has this trainer at the gym who makes these hype videos of Josh working out with an abundance of hashtags. And one of the hashtags that they use, he uses Josh's trainer. And Josh is not. Like, this isn't a. Like a collab post. This is Josh's trainer posting Josh. And it shows up in our algorithms, which I immediately shared in my story and put my husband, the gym influencer, when I get to see them, but in the hashtags. And I think Kylie and some of our Patreon members found this out. He's making this whole claim, like, in your 50s, working out, you can look this good, look as good as my baby Josh. Right. But some of the hashtags are hashtag menopause, hashtag perimenopause.

Kylie (21:04)

Kylie, have you noticed that I haven't seen that?

Jennifer Welch (21:07)

Yeah, hashtag menopause.

Josh Welch (21:10)

I don't think that I've seen that either. The. The only correction I would make, Kylie, from that headline is that there's no may in that. Before the narcissism. Like, there's absolute narcissism. I think that it suggested. But, you know, it's this fine balance. When you work out or you do something that you're proud of, like, you sculpt your body like I have, and you've worked hard at doing that. How much of that do you get to sort of show and not, you know, have too much swag or narcissism? How much can you just say, hey, I work out a lot? And here's a picture. Picture of me working out versus, you know, the flip of that is, oh, God. Here's another workout video of Josh. You know, what's the appropriate amount that you can sort of dip your toes into that without looking like a complete.

Jennifer Welch (21:58)

Let me ask you this. If there was no. No narcissistic exposure risk, and if it were just up to you, would you post your workout every day?

Josh Welch (22:10)

I don't think I would every day, but I would maybe once or twice a week. A week, maybe.

Jennifer Welch (22:17)

Let me ask you, because it's something. Would you be flexing your muscles in.

Josh Welch (22:20)

Any of these pose in the course of working out? I would be, but I wouldn't just be like in flex. Pose for the picture. Okay. But in the course of doing it. But it's kind of like, because I do it so much, it's kind of like back when I was. When we were raising our kids, you did it every day. So you thought, okay, this is a good idea. Let me put a picture of my kids up, you know, in front of a pumpkin patch for Halloween or whatever it is. And so I guess maybe that's not being completely genuine because this is more about me, not my kids, but it's a balance that I'm trying to find.

Jennifer Welch (22:56)

If you had a choice and you could post outfit of the day and. Or my workout of the day, which one would you pick? And there's no risk of being called a narcissist or Internet ridicule.

Josh Welch (23:08)

Man, that's a tough one. Some good outfits, but it would just. That would be a single picture. Whereas on the workout, I can post a video of the full body of.

Jennifer Welch (23:19)

The man in motion.

Josh Welch (23:20)

Yeah. Man in motion.

Jennifer Welch (23:21)

Listen. Listen up, ladies.

Josh Welch (23:22)

That's a.

Jennifer Welch (23:23)

Listen up, ladies. Back off. He's all mine. All right.

Josh Welch (23:26)

It's a really hard one.

Jennifer Welch (23:28)

Okay, Kylie, what's next?

Kylie (23:30)

Okay, I've got a disturbing news story coming out of Louisiana, and it says, a Louisiana teacher sentenced to 41 years in prison for serving her students cupcakes laced with her husband's sperm.

Josh Welch (23:44)

What? Wow.

Jennifer Welch (23:45)

In the actual.

Kylie (23:47)

Fuck.

Jennifer Welch (23:48)

There's so many questions I have about this. Number one, clearly, it was probably the husband's idea. He's probably some sick puppy, Right? And then for her to go along with it is insane. But how was this discovered?

Josh Welch (24:04)

Well, not just that, but how was the semen preserved to sprinkle on the baked cupcakes?

Jennifer Welch (24:11)

I think she probably baked it in Josh. Like when she mixed the batter. He's jizzing in the bowl.

Josh Welch (24:18)

Oh. Simultaneously, sort of. Okay.

Jennifer Welch (24:23)

She's got her mixer going.

Josh Welch (24:25)

Wow, that's a lot.

Jennifer Welch (24:26)

And he's over there. Yeah. Kylie, do we have any other details regarding this?

Kylie (24:31)

I do. So it says the woman is Cynthia Perkins, a former teacher from Louisiana. She was sentenced to 41 years, pleading guilty to a series of disturbing crimes involving her ex husband, Dennis, a former sheriff's lieutenant. Cynthia admitted to several offenses, including serving her students the bodily fluids. The crimes came to light in 2019 when authorities found extensive evidence on the couple's electronic devices linking them to numerous acts of abuse and misconduct. So it looks like they found it out through their phones and computers.

Josh Welch (25:03)

I would dare to say, on a sentence that excessive, that high 41 years, that there's more to that story than just the placement of semen in the cupcakes. There's gotta be. Because as awful as that is, don't know that that warrants 41 years in prison. I'm not trying to discount how bad.

Jennifer Welch (25:22)

Right, right. No, no. And we appreciate your legal. No, there has to have been more.

Kylie (25:26)

Something made them look at the phones in the computer.

Josh Welch (25:28)

Right. They're on the phones and they see all this other, other stuff and that's what we don't know. But man, and I noticed the article said he's serving a hundred year sentence, so that's awful.

Jennifer Welch (25:38)

It has to involve some sort of, you know.

Josh Welch (25:42)

Yeah.

Jennifer Welch (25:42)

Probably sex crime or something. I mean, there's some real sick puppies. And here's the thing, you can never uneat that cupcake. No, you just can't uneat it.

Josh Welch (25:50)

We don't know how many students, how many cupcakes. How many cupcakes?

Jennifer Welch (25:55)

That is so vile. Well, that's uplifting. Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you're enjoying your stuffing, listener, if you're enjoying your mashed potatoes. And be warned, if your grandmother made cupcakes today.

Josh Welch (26:07)

Yeah. If brother in law Jeb is handing out the dressing, you might kind of look at it differently this morning.

Jennifer Welch (26:13)

Watch out for that gravy, that giblet. Giblet gravy.

Josh Welch (26:18)

Ouch.

Kylie (26:19)

It's disgusting. Okay, one more news story. 43% of Americans would leave their partner for $1 million. Survey fines. What do you guys think?

Jennifer Welch (26:30)

Oh, wow. You know what I'm going to say, baby, I wouldn't quit you for 1 million. 10 million maybe, but 1 million? I don't think so.

Josh Welch (26:38)

I would be taking a pay cut. You're safe with me.

Jennifer Welch (26:48)

How much for you to leave me?

Josh Welch (26:51)

Well, that's like the loaded of all questions.

Jennifer Welch (26:53)

I know, but go ahead and answer.

Kylie (26:54)

It.

Jennifer Welch (26:56)

So we can fight all afternoon.

Josh Welch (26:58)

25 and up is going to start grabbing my attention to be like, okay, what can I do with that? What do I have here? I'm going to start weighing options.

Jennifer Welch (27:06)

Yeah, I think that's fair. And we've had a great run.

Josh Welch (27:09)

Yeah.

Jennifer Welch (27:09)

25, 25 years together.

Josh Welch (27:10)

We'd maybe make some kind of backdoor deal where I'd give you like half.

Jennifer Welch (27:14)

Yeah.

Josh Welch (27:17)

Negotiate it.

Jennifer Welch (27:18)

Yeah. Kylie, is there a dollar amount that could convince you to leave your beautiful girlfriend Anna?

Kylie (27:25)

I think I would take some money if I could. Secretively, I'd be like, let me break up with you. I'll take this 10 million and then we can just secretly meet up, you know, still kind of hang out and we can just live off this money. But no, there's no dollar amount that I'm gonna say on this podcast.

Josh Welch (27:43)

I mean, I don't know that that would work. Kyla.

Kylie (27:45)

You think that's against the rules to.

Josh Welch (27:46)

Be affirmed, you know?

Jennifer Welch (27:47)

Yeah, I think that's against the rules. I think you don't get to have it both ways. You don't get to have your cupcake and your semen too, Kylie.

Josh Welch (27:54)

That's right. That's right. You have to. It's one or the other. That's why I put the number at 25. Because then I'm starting to put it.

Jennifer Welch (28:01)

I'd be like 25 million go fn.

Josh Welch (28:03)

Then I'm starting to weigh what I want to do. But ultimately I know that I would conclude that I wouldn't do that. But it starts to get my attention around 25.

Jennifer Welch (28:10)

Here's the thing. Here's the thing. You take the 25 million, Josh, right? And then who would you torture with your taco orders, you know?

Josh Welch (28:18)

Well, there'd be no prohibition against keeping you on the. I mean, we're not in a relationship. You can still get the updates.

Jennifer Welch (28:26)

You take the 25 million and torture.

Josh Welch (28:28)

I sign you up on every single thing that I'm on to. Where your cc.

Jennifer Welch (28:32)

You know what I do do? I have a confession to make. You know when you go to checkout counters and they ask you for your cell phone, I've been giving you yours instead of mine.

Josh Welch (28:41)

So that's all the spam I'm getting.

Jennifer Welch (28:43)

Yeah, because I just felt like it started, I think maybe I was mad at you and I thought I'm going to use his number and now I've just stuck with it.

Josh Welch (28:57)

I'm going to do that when I get the bundt cakes because they're always asking for my.

Jennifer Welch (29:02)

Oh, they still want you to take a survey for the bucket.

Josh Welch (29:04)

I'm going to get you and I'm going to say I want everybody discount that these receipts allow for. So please text me this information.

Jennifer Welch (29:11)

But here's the deal, listener. It's. Josh and I are in a great place in our marriage now because we've had real fucking problems that we are now leaving each other, you know, using abusing each other's phone numbers. These are what, what I would call normal people problems.

Josh Welch (29:28)

Right. As opposed to the non normal problems.

Jennifer Welch (29:31)

The non normal problems that we suffered.

Josh Welch (29:32)

That's right. Right. That's right.

Jennifer Welch (29:34)

Because of you. Okay, Kylie, any what do we have today, callers?

Kylie (29:39)

We've got some voice memos.

Jennifer Welch (29:40)

Finally.

Kylie (29:41)

I know it's been a while. Okay, we're going to start it off with Jess.

Jess (29:47)

I don't know if this is how you send void notes in, but I'm Just going to do it anyways. I have had it with Republicans parenting, and I'll give you an example. My distant relative posted a video of their child on Facebook, which already had it with that take your kids off Facebook. But in this video, they have a Noah's Ark book. And you press a button on the book and the book is read to you. Well, who is narrating the book? None other than Donald J. Trump. Like this kid. I feel so bad for it. It's all of like, maybe I don't know one. And why the are you reading your child a fictional zoo boat story with a pedophile narrating it? What the are you doing? I've absolutely had it.

Jennifer Welch (30:48)

It's wild. I mean, the whole Christian merger with Donald Trump is so wild. But for those of us that have lived in the Bible Belt our whole lives, you've always known that the loud Christians, the one that go goes to mega churches, that does the hand praise, you always know they're so fucked up. Like, I know the biggest nightmare in my Instagram comment section, if I go and hit profile, it's like, husband, Christian patriot. And the same for a woman. If it's like wifey, Christian bff, you know, like, okay, this woman is a fucking catastrophe. She's a goddamn nightmare. And all of the Noah's Ark shit is so stupid. I can't believe people take that literally. But to think that Donald Trump gives a shit about Noah's Ark or gives a shit about you or your kid, it shows you how what a failure this sect of Christian narcissism is, how clueless these people are.

Josh Welch (31:51)

And it's amazing that he's the poster child for the right religious movement. That's Donald Trump. And one of the reasons I think he's the poster child for that is because he delivered for him. And that's all they care about. They don't give a shit about whether or not he's a Christian or if he practices or he delivered for them when they needed him. He's a diabolical motherfucker and he produced and so they're all in for that. But the fact that just our day to day people that you would think it's normal to have him read a children's book, I still every day have to think, God, we reelected this man. How did this happen? I'm still someone in shock of that. And so then you take it even further. He's reading children's books or he's selling his brand of. I saw that he has his own Gun that he's selling recently. Like a firearm.

Jennifer Welch (32:46)

It's such a grip.

Josh Welch (32:47)

It's just all of it is. And the people are into it like they're a part of it. And I don't understand it. I don't know what else to say about it. I sound like a broken record, but I just don't like this lady, this caller, when she's sharing, why the fuck is he reading a children's book? I think that shit every single day about some headline I read or something I see as it relates to him. It's like, how? How did this happen?

Jennifer Welch (33:11)

It's wild. All right, Kylie, who's next?

Kylie (33:13)

Okay, up next, we've got Ginger Vandersnatch.

Josh Welch (33:17)

Ooh, wow.

Ginger Vandersnatch (33:20)

Hi. Pumps and associates at law. This is your favorite hyper, locally famous drag queen, Ginger Vandersnatch. And I've had it with hotel literature. Now, when I walk into a hotel room, I want to go into an oasis. I want to go into a beautiful, comfortable place. And instead, recently I found myself walking in to the Library of fucking Congress. Why does every flat surface in a hotel room now have literature on it? The first thing I do now before I unpack anything, is I have to walk around and take every bit of literature off of every flat surface and put it into the drawer with the Bible, which obviously I'm not touching. I don't know what it is now, but there's a menu for everything, There's a list for everything. There's instructions for everything. I'm so sorry, but if you cannot realize that to get room service, you need to click the button on the phone that says room service. Maybe you should be hungry. That's it. That's my habit. Love you all.

Jennifer Welch (34:21)

Josh.

Josh Welch (34:22)

Well, I agree with Ginger.

Jennifer Welch (34:27)

Ginger Vander Snatch. Ginger Vander Snatch.

Josh Welch (34:31)

I agree with Ginger. And it seems to be a little bit outdated that hotels would still have a Bible in them. I don't.

Jennifer Welch (34:40)

Some of them have a Book of Mormon, which is wild. But, yeah, I do think it's crazy. Like, here's the thing about the Bible. Like, there's been so many other great books written since then. And I feel like this is like the thing with Trumpism. Like, it makes perfect sense that the people who want them make America great again, they read a 2000 plus year old book every day. They form social groups where they have a Bible study. They are stuck back in this patriarchal time period. So of course they're thinking backwards instead of forwards. And it's just this Iron Age book that to me has just Been overblown so much and it's wrought with contradictions. Now the Jesus Christ character, he's really kind of a great guy. He's this radical socialist, he's dark skinned, he hates rich people. He sounds a lot like Bernie Sanders, the atheist Jew. So it's just mystifying to me that so many people that I know that are big Bible study type people are just such pieces of shit. Like, if I've ever met somebody, like, oh, yeah, I just went to Bible study and that's a red flag.

Josh Welch (35:58)

I'm always like, okay, and why are, you know, Ginger needs to look at some of these hotels that she's staying at and maybe vet. I don't know that I've seen a Bible in any place that we've stayed at recently. So that could be kind of a red flag. Some of these places. Maybe look at some other spots.

Jennifer Welch (36:19)

Yeah, I think that Ginger, when you're booking, you need to email and say, do you provide Bibles in your rooms and see how they answer. Don't make it a leading question.

Josh Welch (36:30)

Yeah, so that's. It's important to me that you don't.

Jennifer Welch (36:33)

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Kylie (38:57)

Okay, up next, we've got Sam.

Sam (39:01)

Hey, denim pumps. Love the pod. I have had it with MAGA Republicans that live in blue states that get all the benefits and perks of blue state policies and they don't even realize that they're benefiting from them. Like, for example, my MAGA father works for the state of Massachusetts and gets all the benefits of living in a blue state and working for the state. For example, me and my siblings all got amazing health care growing up. My dad's health care through the state paid for all of our braces, for all of our vision, free glasses. Like, we got hooked up with blue state healthcare. We, you know, he makes a pretty good salary for an entry level job and the state pays us. And then he goes around complaining about, you know, liberal policies and blue state policies and high taxes and all this bullshit. It's like, dude, that's literally the only reason why you could live and support your family with no college degree. So I've had it.

Kylie (40:03)

I've had enough.

Sam (40:04)

It makes me want to be like, go move to Alabama and go see how, how much you like the red state policies. Then go see how MAGA you are then with your job in your current state because I guarantee you, you won't fucking like it.

Jennifer Welch (40:17)

That is such a good grievance. And I think about this a lot. Like the people in blue states that are flirting with Trumpism, that have taken for granted that they have a government that is going to protect them, a local government that's going to fight for their safety, that's going to health care, a woman's right to choose, etc. If you were to come live in a red state like Oklahoma, Oklahoma is ranked 43rd or 44th, okay? And here's what happens to the Red State MAGA. They start buying into the bullshit. They get so indoctrinated that Kevin Stitt, the governor of our state, he's a real prick, but he's a polite prick. He's More polite than Trump is, but that's more insidious to me, at least. Trump, you know he's a dick and you know he's going to do dickish things. Kevin Stitt is a dick, but he, he wraps it in, I'm going to do everything for the Lord and blah, blah, blah. Oklahoma is ranked 44. That's a bottom 10 state. The whole time he's been governor, he says to the public, We're a top 10 state. We have so much more freedom, blah, blah. These are the book banners. These are the Kevin Stitt book banner. Anti woman. So if you have, if you get raped and you're 13, 14 years old, Kevin Stitt thinks it's his business. And all the other pink arm, dorky, hypocritical Christian state legislators, what happens to your daughter, the rape victim, who's a teenager, they think she has to carry that rapist baby. And so it is a real fool's errand for people in blue states to flirt with this style of Christian nationalism. Because in Massachusetts, you don't understand, understand evangelical, white, evangelical Christians, they are mean, they are patriarchal, they are anti woman, they are anti gay, they are anti poor, they are anti healthcare, they are anti helping anybody for anything. The whole thing is this prosperity gospel where they all go to these mega churches, where these churches, the pastors have private planes, they've got bank accounts that can choke a bull. And they've indoctrinated these people into thinking they live in this great, great space while they're suffering, while they can't afford health care, while they can't afford child care, while the governor lies to them and says, oh, we're a top 10 state. It's like you're not even fucking close. You're a bottom feeder state, right?

Josh Welch (42:49)

It's interesting. These two states, one went all Democratic. Every county, Oklahoma went all Republican. 77 counties. What, what I don't understand here is the fact that, you know, Republicans have been in charge here in all aspects of government for the past 10, 15 years. And so if you're looking around, whether it's in rural Oklahoma or Oklahoma City or Tulsa, and you don't like the way something is, if you've got a real bitch or complaint about whether it's the economy, whether it's education, whether it's the criminal justice system, whatever it is, if you don't like it, guess what? Your government has controlled all aspects of this. There's no boogeyman here. There's no Democrat that's affecting policy at all. At any level in the state of Oklahoma. And so blame the fucking people that you voted for. Blame the Republicans. If they're going to get the office, they've got a responsibility to do the job. If they don't, then accept ownership. And the voters need to accept the fact that it's their leaders that have caused any sort of discomfort in their life. There's no one else to blame.

Jennifer Welch (43:57)

It is in these red states, these MAGA super majorities, they have had Republican super majorities for two decades. They have lied. They have lied to the voters, they have lied to the electorate and told them trickle down economics work. We need to support these business owners because they're job creators. Look at these people on food stamps, they're so lazy. Meanwhile, the people on food stamps, the majority of them work 40 hours a week for these corporations like Walmart and Walmart doesn't pay them a livable wage. But Josh is 100% spot on. The people to blame in these red states for your problems are Republicans. And it's wild that they blame Joe Biden or some Democratic policy. When you look at the bottom 10 states, they're all MAGA super majority states, all of them.

Josh Welch (44:48)

And there's no one else to blame. I mean, it's all of their policies that have caused this. And so if you're, you know, in Hugo or Broken Bow or Idabel and you're dead broke, who do you think's to blame for that? The governor, the House of Representatives, the Senate, all of that's controlled. Supreme Court, state Supreme Court, state Supreme Court. All of it is Republican controlled, every bit of it. Democrats aren't affecting any policy, nothing in the state of Oklahoma. So I mean, just think about it rationally.

Jennifer Welch (45:17)

Well, think about it like this. We did have a Democratic Governor in like 2011, his name was Brad Henry. We were running ranked 17th in education when we had a Democrat that could help fund education. Since then, listeners, Blue state listeners. We have dropped under Republican rule. Republican super majorities. We're 50th in education right now. 50th in a lot of parts of rural Oklahoma, they cannot fund the kids to go to school Monday through Friday. So they cut the classes to four day school weeks. Which leaves, if you're a working class parent in rural Oklahoma, small town Oklahoma, what do you do with your kids on Friday? A lot of these poor kids factor in getting breakfast and lunch at school, which by the way, our big Jesus Christ supporting Governor Kevin Stitt turned away federal funds to feed kids when Joe Biden was president. That's how Christian he is. And think about it like this, this indoctrination, this Republican propaganda, these Republican lies are so powerful that the same people whose kids now only go to school Monday through Thursday and they have this deficit on Friday. What am I going to do with my kid while I go to school? The state isn't going to help feed them. They, you know, I'm on snap or whatever. Trump won these counties by whopping double digits. 30, 40, 50%. It's. And, but here's the deal. The Democrats have abandoned a 50 state strategy. They have abandoned Oklahoma. They haven't gone in. And they need to run multiple election cycles in these red states to have progressives champion for them, a working class economic populist message and tell them how much they've been lied to. And they might lose the first couple of rounds, but eventually it will start getting traction. But the Democrats abandoning all of these swaths of America has just been absolutely devastating and has grown this cult, this cult that gets people to vote against their own interest, their own religion, religion, the tenets of their Lord and savior, Jesus Christ, which is against the accumulation of wealth, about helping the poor, about helping the sick. And they're all kind of like, fuck you. We like this mega church Pastor Gay.

Josh Welch (47:34)

That gives blow jobs, kinks, the hypocrisy and all of it is just pretty breathtaking. And you know, we used to joke about this quite a bit, but if any of the Christians that we knew, if any of them just in any way remotely resembled the character of Jesus Christ, I think we would love those people quite a bit. But they don't. They set this thing up as the thing that they worship and then none of them emulate it. None of them strive to be that thing. And so it's just a really weird dichotomy. And then you pick Trump to be the leader of that sect and he's probably the worst person in the world that you could think of that was. Would be a devout Christian. I don't, I don't know, but the whole thing is just sort of mind blowing.

Jennifer Welch (48:21)

Yeah. All right, Kylie, let's do one more for our Thanksgiving episode.

Kylie (48:26)

Okay. We will end it with Darren.

Darren (48:30)

Hi, pumps. Hi, Jennifer. Hi, Kylie, the magic lesbian. This is Darren from Jersey, the gay Jersey boy. I just want to say, say I have had it. I work for the United States Postal Service and I've had it. When you put in a letter in a mailbox when it says current resident and they tell me that their name is not current resident, I actually had to have a sticker made explaining what current resident means. I just had it with stupid people who just don't know the common sense of what a word means.

Jennifer Welch (49:11)

Wow. Current resident.

Josh Welch (49:15)

Yeah, that's. That's interesting. And I agree. I think we get a lot of mail at our house that is addressed to the current resident, which I'm not sure who else it would be addressed to because if you're getting it at the house, and obviously it's for the person that lives there.

Jennifer Welch (49:30)

Right.

Josh Welch (49:32)

So I share in his frustration.

Jennifer Welch (49:34)

Yeah. And I just, I really want to give a shout out to all the post office because that's something that might end up being a casualty in this Trump administration. You know, they want to go after the post office because of mail in ballots and all of these things. And, you know, postal workers. I'm always so happy when I see the postman and they hustle and they do.

Josh Welch (49:56)

They're out there and it's raining, snowing.

Jennifer Welch (49:58)

Snow, sleet or shine. The US Post Postal Service.

Josh Welch (50:02)

Yeah, we see them. We see them every day and give them a shout out.

Jennifer Welch (50:05)

Yeah, I really, I really, I really like postman and I really particularly like gay postman. So shout out to you, the magic gay postman from New Jersey. All right, listen up. Listener pumps will be back soon. Buy our book. Life is a Lazy Susan of shit sandwiches. Please make sure you comment in the comment section of this episode.

Josh Welch (50:27)

Road.

Jennifer Welch (50:28)

Let's keep painting Gate alive. All right, let's keep Josh's ensemble choices and tell us what you think about compression socks. Should he wear them and say it or just.

Josh Welch (50:41)

Yeah. Feel free to give. Give us some feedback in the comments on the YouTube page that are not related to me wearing short shorts and compression socks. It's been a pleasure to guest host. I wish everybody a happy Thanksgiving. Kylie, Safe travels to Memphis, everybody. Enjoy your family. Try not to kill each other when you're sitting down to eat. We'll do the same.

Jennifer Welch (51:01)

All right, we'll see you next Tuesday and Thursday. I'll tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with that. Listen up, patriots, gaytriots and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday. Every Thursday day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America. Always served with a side of petty grievances.

Sponsor Voice (51:32)

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Jennifer Welch (51:38)

Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind. Pumps, pumps. What does an eagle say? Cacao. A little bit more enthusiasm. That's it.

Ginger Vandersnatch (51:52)

That's.

Jennifer Welch (51:52)

That's. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.