Am I the Christmas A**hole?

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Am I the Christmas Ahole?"**

Podcast Title: I've Had It
Hosts: Jennifer Welch and Angie “Pumps” Sullivan
Release Date: December 24, 2024
Episode Title: Am I the Christmas A**hole?

---

1. Introduction to Christmas Frustrations

The episode kicks off with Jennifer and Angie delving into their frustrations surrounding the Christmas season. Angie expresses her disdain for wrapping paper, lamenting the hassle of last-minute purchases when she runs out of paper.

Angie: "What I've had it with is wrapping paper... I just think we should do unwrapped gifts."
[00:54]

Jennifer counters by emphasizing the importance of the gift-wrapping ritual, arguing that the act of unwrapping is integral to the Christmas experience.

Jennifer: "The unwrapping is a huge part of the process. You can't just start giving people unwrapped gifts."
[02:09]

2. The "Ugly Babies" Debate

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to a spirited discussion about the prevalence of "ugly babies" on social media. Jennifer shares her skepticism about the widespread claim that "every baby is cute," arguing that the majority are not, and highlights the challenge of navigating an online feed saturated with less-than-adorable infants.

Jennifer: "I think that there's a lot of ugly babies. There's a vast majority of babies are ugly."
[08:21]

Angie echoes this sentiment, sharing her personal experience of being disappointed by her baby's mailed photograph, contrasting her initial admiration with her subsequent reaction upon receiving the physical photo.

Angie: "Most babies are not cute, almost bordering on ugly. And the rare, I mean, there is a rare, rare, rare, beautiful baby."
[08:21]

They further explore the societal pressure for parents to present their children as eternally adorable, critiquing the authenticity of such portrayals.

3. Christmas Gift Registries: Convenience or Cringe?

The conversation shifts to the modern trend of Christmas gift registries. Kylie introduces listener feedback about a friend who created a Christmas registry for family and friends to select and track gifts.

Kylie: "This year she made a Christmas registry to send out to people, and people can claim and shop her Christmas registry..."
[15:49]

Jennifer and Angie vehemently oppose this practice, viewing it as an over-the-top and narcissistic approach to gift-giving. They argue that it removes the personal touch from Christmas and reduces meaningful connections to transactional exchanges.

Jennifer: "I think a registry is completely over the top... Just text the link."
[16:35]

Angie: "I'm anti Christmas registry. I'm anti sending it anybody but your parents."
[18:32]

4. Listener Stories: "Am I the Asshole?"

The core of the episode focuses on listener-submitted stories analyzed through the "Am I the Asshole?" (AITA) framework. Three primary stories are discussed:

a. Excluding a Fiancé's Family Over Inflexible Food Accommodations

A listener questions whether she is at fault for ditching her fiancé's family Christmas dinner after they refused to accommodate her dietary restrictions, insisting she bring her own dish instead.

Jennifer: "I 1 million percent think she's the asshole. You're a guest."
[23:12]

Angie: "Run, run, run. That's crazy town."
[23:27]

Both hosts unanimously agree that the listener is in the wrong, emphasizing the importance of flexibility and hospitality during holiday gatherings.

b. Financial Abuse Through Restrictive Gift Giving

Another story involves a stay-at-home mom who felt pressured by her husband to match his $600 gift with a significantly less expensive present. Her attempt to reciprocate ended in conflict, highlighting potential financial control within the marriage.

Jennifer: "I think this is financial abuse 100..."
[25:47]

Angie: "It's a very controlling, very sadistic..."
[26:16]

The hosts critique the husband's behavior as manipulative and abusive, advising the listener to reconsider the dynamics of her relationship.

c. Excluding a Toxic Mother-in-Law from Christmas

The final story deals with a listener who chose to exclude her mother-in-law from Christmas gatherings after the latter's manipulative behavior, such as making her daughter feel undervalued through gift comparisons.

Jennifer: "She is a horrible person who loves to create drama..."
[33:27]

Angie: "I say not the... I think that's a great boundary."
[33:31]

Both hosts support the decision to set boundaries, praising the listener for prioritizing her family's well-being over toxic familial interactions.

5. Reflections on Modern Christmas Practices

Jennifer and Angie reflect on broader themes of consumerism and authenticity during the holidays. They discuss the impact of fast fashion and the environmental implications of overconsumption, commending their children for adopting more sustainable and conscious lifestyles.

Jennifer: "This Gen Z generation... there are plenty of clothes on the planet..."
[19:31]

The hosts commend their children for valuing thriftiness and sustainability over materialistic impulses, viewing it as a positive shift from their own past behaviors.

6. Holiday Cheer and Closing Remarks

The episode concludes with festive humor and a custom Christmas song, encapsulating their critical yet affectionate take on the holiday season. They encourage listeners to embrace authenticity and set healthy boundaries to ensure a joyful Christmas experience.

Jennifer: "Quit letting cunt be your default setting because nobody likes you."
[39:47]

Angie: "Happy holidays, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Christmas..."
[40:03]

Despite their critiques, Jennifer and Angie extend warm wishes to their listeners, blending their signature humor with genuine holiday sentiment.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Angie on Wrapping Paper:
  "What I've had it with is wrapping paper... I just think we should do unwrapped gifts."
  [00:54]

• Jennifer on Gift Unwrapping:
  "The unwrapping is a huge part of the process. You can't just start giving people unwrapped gifts."
  [02:09]

• Jennifer on Ugly Babies:
  "I think that there's a lot of ugly babies. There's a vast majority of babies are ugly."
  [08:21]

• Kylie on Christmas Registries:
  "This year she made a Christmas registry to send out to people, and people can claim and shop her Christmas registry..."
  [15:49]

• Jennifer on Financial Abuse:
  "I think this is financial abuse 100..."
  [25:47]

• Angie on Setting Boundaries:
  "Run, run, run. That's crazy town."
  [23:27]

• Jennifer on Mother-in-Law Drama:
  "She is a horrible person who loves to create drama..."
  [33:27]

• Closing Statement on Authenticity:
  "Quit letting cunt be your default setting because nobody likes you."
  [39:47]

---

Conclusion

In "Am I the Christmas A**hole?", Jennifer Welch and Angie Sullivan offer a candid and humorous critique of modern Christmas practices. From the pitfalls of gift wrapping and registries to deeper familial conflicts and societal pressures, the hosts engage in honest discussions that resonate with listeners seeking a more genuine and less stressful holiday experience. Their blend of personal anecdotes, listener stories, and sharp commentary provides a refreshing take on navigating the complexities of Christmas in contemporary society.

Transcript

[Jennifer]

Gifting is hard, but here's a hint. Give the gift of connection from US Cellular. Not sure what that means. Here's a slightly more specific hint. You can choose four free phones and get four lines for $90 a month from US Cellular. Your family wants new phones. How do we know? Well, they told us. The good news is that compared to wrapping presents, you're great at getting hints. So take the hint and get them four free phones and four lines for $90 a month. US built for us. So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready?

[Angie]

One, two, three.

[Jennifer]

Patriots. Gaytriots. Patriots. Maybe. Ho ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

[Angie]

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

[Jennifer]

All right, pumps. What have you had it with?

[Angie]

What I've had it with is wrapping paper. And let me tell you why. I got all my gifts wrapped, ready to go. I have two gifts left. Have to go out and re buy wrapping paper. I just think we should do unwrapped gifts. Have you ever been to those showers where everything's just unwrapped so you don't have to open it? That's what my campaign's gonna be. And now, granted, I don't have one Christmas decoration up. I don't have my Christmas tree up. I only have lights and a wreath on my door. That's it. That's the list. But I'm just like. It's like Christmas and I have no paper.

[Jennifer]

Here's the thing. I think that is a bah humbug city. Unwrapping the gifts. You can. You can dress up like Christmas all you want to today.

[Angie]

You're Bahambu.

[Jennifer]

No, I have two trees up. My house is lit up like an intercontinental ballistic missile of gay pride. Lights. I have the black nutcracker, which is fabulous. He's purchased. He's up. And I wrap each gift individually, and I tie a beautiful bow on it because the unwrapping is a huge part of the process. You can't just start giving people unwrapped gifts.

[Angie]

What if I said they were from Santa?

[Jennifer]

Well, everybody knows Santa's not real. And kids that are listening to our podcast. I'm sorry that I just blew the whistle on that, but your parents shouldn't let you listen to us. We are terrible people.

[Angie]

We're terrible people, and we have filthy mouths.

[Jennifer]

Yes. So I think that is a bah humbug. I think we have to wrap. I think you. You. You've always struggled with rapping.

[Angie]

Yeah, I'm a great corner rapper, but I just. It irritates me. I'm the only one that wraps in my house. So I end up wrapping everything. And on a couple of the dog wrapper wrapping.

[Jennifer]

Wait, what do you mean, dog wrapping?

[Angie]

Well, for the dogs, presents. I got them little babies.

[Jennifer]

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Pump the brakes. Because I remember for years I would buy my dogs gifts and I would wrap them up, and I was browbeat, ridiculed, shamed, ostracized. It was really bad. And now you're telling me that you have purchased gifts for your dogs and wrapped it up?

[Angie]

Yes. But haven't we already established on the podcast through the course of history, I'm the biggest hypocrite on the planet?

[Jennifer]

Yes, we have. But anytime I get to take another victory lap on it. You know me, I'm way too much of a sore winner to not take that opportunity.

[Angie]

You are not a gracious winner. Gracious loser. Yes.

[Jennifer]

Yep. No, I'm way too bad of a sore winner to not totally browbeat you about that.

[Angie]

Yeah. So I ran out of paper on the dogs when I was wrapping their gifts, and so the whole back side of the dogs, I wrapped only the front and the sides, the top and the sides. It's just box in the back.

[Jennifer]

Okay. I don't really know if this is a hat it. But it's just an observation that we've never discussed. Okay. And I think we need to analyze it and talk about it. Sometimes, you know, you can see a baby, a toddler, or a teen. And by virtue of the adjective in which I just used to describe them, baby, toddler, tween, or teen. They're young, right? But sometimes you see a particular one of these and they already look old. Like, you can see a toddler sometimes, and all of a sudden your brain can jump to seeing them being 45 hu. Broken capillaries all over their nose, and you just think, puffy, this child right here is heading to a life of heartache. And the child might not even be. Might. Might not even be misbehaving, but there's just something about them. So I was at one of my son's basketball games last weekend, and there was a kid on the opposing team, and he comes out and I mean, he's probably 17, 18. He looked 49.

[Angie]

Was it because he was, like, super hairy or was just the face. Just the face looked like an old person face, not wrinkly, but.

[Jennifer]

Do you not know what I'm talking about? Have you not ever seen, like, a toddler, a baby, a tween, or a grown or a teenager, and you immediately can jump to seeing them as an adult immediately.

[Angie]

I've seen it with a baby and a toddler, but not a teen. Like I can immediately when I see a baby, I can say, oh my gosh, that baby looks like a little old man or that toddler looks like a little old lady. But I haven't really noticed it on a teen or a tween really, so. But you're not talking about like just super hairy face.

[Jennifer]

No, it's just there's this whole affect that comes off of them that it's already weathered, it's in, they're youthful. But like the kid in question on the opposing team, he was probably 17 or 18, but if somebody told me he was 42, I would have been like, yeah, okay, that checks out. They should be checking birth certificates at these basketball games, but whatevs.

[Angie]

That's so interesting.

[Jennifer]

Kylie, have you ever noticed this?

[Kylie]

Absolutely, I have.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Kylie]

And it's unfortunate.

[Jennifer]

And you see it and you can see it in any of those age groups that I've shown you. You can see a 12 year old that already looks like hammered dog shit. You can see a toddler that these hammer dog shit toddlers, you immediately know, oh God, they are so screwed. And then the teens. Yeah.

[Kylie]

And, and like Pump said, even babies, I've seen a baby, I've been like, woof. Oh yeah, I know exactly how you're going to turn out.

[Jennifer]

You know, the thing about babies is in general a really beautiful baby is incredibly rare.

[Angie]

Agree.

[Jennifer]

It is a very rare thing that you see a baby that's total Gerber baby right where you're like, oh my God, this baby is gorgeous. And despite statistically they're not being that many beautiful babies. The delusion so many people are under that their babies are beautiful, evidenced by the chronic sustained posting of all of these ugly babies is something that is just never really addressed.

[Angie]

I think I take it one step further. I would say instead of saying there are very few beautiful babies, I would say 90 plus percent of babies are ugly until they kind of get cute. And very specific to my own self when my first child was born, you know you have back in the day you had like a photographer come in or they took like a picture. It wasn't like a photographer, but it was like you put them up in clothes before they left and you took a picture and I mean it was like two days old. Right. And I just thought that's the most beautiful baby I've ever seen in my life. I mean that is a beautiful baby. So by the time the picture comes in, like two, three weeks later through the mail, I look at it and I think, that's the ugliest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. And you look around because everybody was having babies the same time. I was like, my friends, all the babies are ugly. They all look alike. There's nothing like super cute about them. So I'm just gonna take it further. Most babies are not cute, almost bordering on ugly. And the rare, I mean, there is a rare, rare, rare, beautiful baby.

[Jennifer]

I just, I think that there's a lot of ugly babies. There's a vast majority of babies are ugly. And when I get on the Internet, I just, sometimes I feel like my feed is just ugly babies.

[Angie]

Right.

[Jennifer]

I'm like in the ugly baby algorithm.

[Angie]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

And I need to be out of that because maybe they turn in to be cute or maybe you just get so used to seeing how ugly they are. Anything, the ugliness gets desensitized and you just can't take it anymore. So it's like, let's fake it till we make it. I'm just going to start saying, this baby's cute.

[Angie]

Well, but you know, it's also like, everybody thinks their kids. Like you look at your kids and you think, oh my gosh, that's like a gorgeous child or whatever. And everybody else is thinking, yeah, not that cute. So I think a lot of people are putting it on there. And then you have all the, you know, and everybody's like, that kid's not very cute. That's kind of an ugly baby. But, but I like her. I like the dad, I like the grandma. So I'm going to say, oh my God, that's a beautiful baby. But really, so what you're doing is you're encouraging them.

[Jennifer]

You're an enabler. You're an enabler. A really baby enabler.

[Angie]

Right.

[Jennifer]

See, I don't say, so cute. I go, oh, my gosh, look at that baby. Yeah.

[Angie]

See, see, there's no lie in there.

[Jennifer]

Oh my gosh, look at that little baby. What a little guy. What a little gal. That is.

[Angie]

Well, isn't it?

[Jennifer]

Wow, look at those little hand. Look at that little nose.

[Angie]

That is so like, genius.

[Jennifer]

All you just say is, look at this.

[Angie]

See, unless I really think the baby's beautiful, I just put a heart.

[Jennifer]

I don't know that I really engage online with babies.

[Angie]

Well, there's only. I only follow three people and they all have really cute babies. So I got lucky on that situation.

[Jennifer]

I have some blood relative babies Two of my blood.

[Angie]

Two of my.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, the blood relative babies. I mean, and they're attractive babies. Well, as evidenced by the DNA sharing.

[Angie]

Did. I was just going to say, did we think that anything less would happen given that you're in the bloodline?

[Jennifer]

I'll tell you what, I don't think I was that cute of a baby. I have this really faint birthmark right here in between my eyebrows that's red like a Port Weinstein. And it's completely faded now, but when I was born, it was very pronounced, so I had like a red skunk mark right here. And I think when I would cry, it would really heat up and it would get even redder. But as I aged, it faded and faded. But I'm sure that that wasn't very attractive. My mother would probably sit here and say, oh, no, you were absolutely gorgeous, darling.

[Angie]

The most beautiful baby in the history of the world. When you said you had a Port Weinstein, I was like, I have known you for 22 years and I've never noticed it, so it can't be that dramatic. But it. You grew out of it.

[Jennifer]

Yes. All right. Welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer.

[Angie]

I'm Angie. Ho, ho, ho.

[Jennifer]

She is all dressed up for Christmas. I did dress up for Christmas because she sucks. I do not have to Monday morning quarterback on the Christmas episode as though I've not been in the Christmas spirit this whole time. And you. Everybody can pull all the tapes. Me. Somebody's talking about hating rapping. Somebody's talking about hating Christmas carols. Somebody's talking about Christmas decorations. Somebody's fighting exhaustively with her Christmas light installer. And so I think the permanent record reflects that. You can dress up all you want to and pretend like you are a big fan of Christmas, but we know that you hate it. We know that you hate the birthday boy, that you hate birthday parties.

[Angie]

Right?

[Jennifer]

We know. We know.

[Angie]

Well, I'm just going to tell you, it's lipstick on a pig right here. You got it.

[Jennifer]

All right. Kylie.

[Kylie]

Hi.

[Jennifer]

Merry Christmas.

[Kylie]

Merry Christmas.

[Jennifer]

What's going on on the Internet?

[Kylie]

I've got an email from a listener that I'm going to start off with. And she writes, I've had it with mom influencers, thinking going to the pumpkin patch or going to see Santa is like a new thing. Flipping drives me up the wall. We don't give a shit what designer AKA Target you and your kid are wearing to the outing that everyone with kids goes to. You're not special. No one cares. I've had it. Oh, and then don't get me started with family Christmas pictures. My family Christmas picture this year is my 18 year old son flipping me off when we went to get our Christmas tree. Stop. Oh, and stop wearing matching clothes.

[Jennifer]

I like that. I like that. The sun flipping her off. That. See, that's the. That's the content I want because it's real. It is 100% real. I like it. It is original. All of the matching photos, it lacks originality. It's breathtakingly uncreative, genuine. It just when I see it, I'm like, yeah. Every other fucking moron had the exact same idea.

[Angie]

It doesn't stand out at all. But if I got her Christmas card and her son is flipping her off.

[Jennifer]

In her Christmas card, it would go in my fridge. Oh my gosh.

[Angie]

I would never take it off. I would be like, she's my hero.

[Jennifer]

No, that's a million times better.

[Angie]

A million times better.

[Jennifer]

Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up. Wouldn't you say? Pumps?

[Angie]

I would say damn near psychotic.

[Jennifer]

Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is.

[Angie]

A Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.

[Jennifer]

In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre order your copy. Now, when you think about major businesses that are just selling through the roof, like Skims, you think about what a great product it is, how cool it is, how much you like it. But you really need to think about the business behind the business. What makes it all so cohesive and smooth. And that is Shopify.

[Angie]

Shopify is absolutely the best helper when you want to sell and ship products, it makes everything so much easier.

[Jennifer]

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[Jennifer]

All right, Kylie.

[Kylie]

Okay, I have to tell you guys something that I learned about I've been dying to tell you. Okay, so one of my friends, she's 29 years old, and she tells me that this year she made a Christmas registry to send out to people, and people can claim and shop her Christmas registry, and she can see who claims it. Have you heard of this?

[Angie]

Okay, I got a few questions.

[Jennifer]

Oh, my God.

[Angie]

Who is she sending? I mean, people. Is that, like, for her parents and grandparents or is it people at large?

[Kylie]

I don't know the limit to what I know her family. Got it. I don't know if, like, extended family, friends.

[Jennifer]

She's 29.

[Kylie]

29.

[Angie]

This is bad. This is really bad. Unless it just goes to your parents.

[Kylie]

I still think a Christmas registry.

[Jennifer]

I think a registry is completely over the top, even to the parents. Put it in a text and text it, for God's sake.

[Angie]

Well, that's true. I was gonna say, I always want a Christmas list.

[Jennifer]

I just think the registry is wildly over the top. I think that what we have here is, oh, my God, this is a pick me, pick me situation. It is so humiliating and embarrassing, and it makes me a lover of Christmas, a celebrator of the holiday, not afraid to say, hey, happy birthday, big guy. I know I'm not a believer, but I'm all chips in on the party. It makes me so mad that I want to jump over to Hater Aid side of the table and not put up a tree and take down my Gay Pride Christmas lights and put away my black nutcracker and all of the things I did for this big birthday party, knowing that some narcissist made a Christmas gift registry at the age of 29. If my child did this, I would pull them aside and sit them down and say, I am an abject failure. Why don't you just go and change your voter registration right now? Buy a Stanley cup and just go full blown maga, you piece of shit. I failed. Just go all the way over. Just go all the way off the edge right now. I can't take it. For one more second. That's what I would do with my kids.

[Angie]

Okay, here. And I'm, I'm anti Christmas registry. I'm anti sending it anybody but your parents. But a little pushback is I always ask my kids for Christmas list. Emily graciously, she picks it out, sends me the link. All I have to do is hit the link button. So there is something like if my child sent me a list with the links that all I had to do is Apple pay it. I do find some beauty in that. But then I hate Christmas. Already established, Right?

[Jennifer]

I just, I think that we have to stop at some point. Just text the link. But actually filling out your registry like you're over the top. I'm sorry. I'm going to push back and I'm going to be the resistance to this because I think it is so crazy. Over the top, ridiculous. The best thing that's happened to Josh and me is our kids. And I'll tell you why. Josh and I are shallow, materialistic, fall prey to the worst impulses of capitalism. Like, it's just awful. And then you put the two of us together going shopping. It is a goddamn nightmare. What every person would never want to be, nor would want their kids to be. Remarkably, our children want nothing to do with our horrific ways of mass consumption. And I asked them what they want for Christmas. They send me two to three items a piece. That's it. From a thrift shop online.

[Angie]

Right? The thrifting is what?

[Jennifer]

And that's it. That's all they want. And for a long time I fought it and I was toxic. And I was like, but don't you want these cool shoes? Why do you want something that's used? And I was projecting the worst impulses of myself and my husband onto the children. But they were the resistance. And they were like, no, we're not like you.

[Angie]

We're better.

[Jennifer]

They didn't go that far, but that's what. But Josh and I talk about it a lot. At night we sit down and I'm like, our kids are a million times better human beings than we are.

[Angie]

Right?

[Jennifer]

Like, they do not want. I remember one time, Josh bought these off white shoes for Roman. And off white is this like sneaker brand. And they were like the hot, sought after shoe. And they're under the tree and Roman opens them and Josh is just like sitting there salivating, waiting for Roman to be like, oh my God, thank you so much. And Roman was like, thanks, Dad. I just, I. I'm too embarrassed to like wear these around because A lot of the kids, like on my AAU basketball team couldn't afford this. And I just, I don't feel good about this. And I looked at Josh and Josh looked at me and I was like, yeah, we're assholes, right?

[Angie]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

Learning lessons at our age under the Christmas tree on Christmas morning from a teenager.

[Angie]

Yeah. No, it's, it's amazing. When you told me that your boys are big thrifters, that just had to be a stab in the heart.

[Jennifer]

You know, here's the thing. Like I wanted the kids to be open minded, socially conscious, all of the things. And there's a huge argument to be made that all of this fast fashion stuff like Zara, Brandy, Melville, all of this stuff, it's just made for one season. You wear it a couple of times and throw it away. And the strain that that puts on the earth. So this Gen Z generation is like, there are plenty of clothes on the planet right now. Right. For us to wear. We don't have to be engaged in this fast fashion. And so, you know, I, I'm really proud that they are socially conscious and give a about the world they live in. I really am. I'm really happy about that. All right. Kylie has prepared some things for us to read on this wonderful Christmas episode. And one of them is a. Am I the asshole? And this one is Am I the asshole for ditching my in laws Christmas dinner after I found out they wouldn't make accommodations for me. She says, or he says. I got invited to my fiance's family Christmas celebratory dinner. It's my first Christmas with them. I have always been picky about what I eat. Before accepting their invite, I let my future mother in law know that I wouldn't be eating the traditional food at their celebration and showed her a variety of dishes to choose from to accommodate me. She refused and told me to bring my own dish. I said if I had to bring my own dish when I'm a guest, then I better stay at home. Then we went back and forth and I insisted I wouldn't come if accommodations weren't being made. I just thought it was a simple request and my future mother in law could have agreed if she really wanted me there.

[Angie]

Okay, here's what I have to say about that to her fiance. His or her, whoever the fiance is. Run, run, run. You've got a stage five. I hate her. She's going to make your life miserable. She or he to not have the good sense to either move the food around on your plate, bring your own Whatever you're gonna eat. Just being that picky in general. Like there are so many things I despise about this person.

[Jennifer]

Well, and here's the thing that gets me. She did all this stuff and then she went to Reddit and posted it like she's still living in it. Like it's so toxic from start to finish. I mean, I 1 million percent think she's the asshole. You're a guest.

[Angie]

Yes.

[Jennifer]

You show up if you're a vegetarian or gluten free or all this shit or you have allergies. Like the mother in law said, bring your own food.

[Angie]

Right. It's real simple. Bring your own food. It's not hard. Yeah, I'm going to give that a run, run, run.

[Jennifer]

Okay, here's one. Am I the asshole for ruining my husband's Christmas? My husband is the breadwinner and I'm a stay at home mom. As a result, I don't have what they call fun money or money to spend however I want. My husband gives me money to spend on the house or the kids, but that's that. I might borrow money here and there or try to figure something out if I needed essential stuff like hygiene products. This Christmas, my husband gave me $600 as my Christmas gift. I freaked out thinking I now have to get him a decent gift to match his. So I went shopping and got him the most affordable thing on his wish list, which was $180 pair of sneakers. I didn't show him the gift until we visited his parents house for Christmas. And when it was time for gift opening, he opened the gift, saw the sneakers and looked extremely, extremely upset, like he was about to blow up. I asked him what's up? And he asked why in the hell I decided to waste money and get him sneakers. I said it's all I could afford. And he literally lashed out and said bullshit. I gave you $600. That's about the right price for a new gaming console. And it was right there at the top of my list.

[Angie]

I, I don't even know where to start on that. Number one, he gives her only money. She doesn't have access to fund money because he only gives her money for the kids and the house. Like we got a huge problem there. He gives her $600 to buy himself a gift. Her, the least of her problems is the shoes versus the console. I mean, this is a very controlling, very. I like I'm. Again, I'm just going to say it again. Run, run, run.

[Jennifer]

This is why I think it is so important for women to make their own money because it's a nice idea to be a stay at home mom. But ultimately you are beholden.

[Angie]

That's right.

[Jennifer]

To somebody else. And the spouse can say all they want to know. It's ours. It's 50 50. But when rubber hits the road, the person who is the earner immediately starts tightening those reins immediately. And in this instance, I think this is financial abuse 100 and if it starts with financial abuse, then we know it probably goes on a more obviously he's not only just an, he's a controlling sadistic prick on top of that.

[Angie]

Well, and you know the clue is, is she doesn't have access. So he's only putting a certain amount of money in her account and she can't access his earnings. It's a big problem.

[Jennifer]

I bet he screws around too.

[Angie]

One million percent. I bet he got his girlfriend. More than 600 worth of listeners of I've had it.

[Jennifer]

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[Jennifer]

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[Angie]

This is the theme for me today. But run, run, run. What the is happening at their Christmas that they do this and then they're saying she embarrassed him. Like this family, you need to get away from them. Yeah, I mean run. This is crazy town.

[Jennifer]

Yep.

[Angie]

First of all, I remember the days when you were like newly and you wanted to impress the family. She got them all chocolates, she got nice gifts, she did all that. I think her expecting a gift from people she doesn't know is ridiculous. That's just not my thing. But what they did was out of line. Don't you think?

[Jennifer]

It's completely out of line. And I think that, you know, you have, you're dating somebody and you probably see some red flags, right. And then if you go and you meet their entire family and they're all sadistic as well.

[Angie]

Right.

[Jennifer]

Then you realize like, oh, okay, I can either breed with this person and continue this generational sadism or I can opt out. And it's easy to say at our age sitting here doing this, but it's.

[Angie]

Crazy because I did it.

[Jennifer]

It's crazy. And you know, you can see very clearly like everything that is toxic in somebody when you go to their parents house, it's even more toxic there.

[Angie]

Right. And the fact that they lack so much awareness that that might hurt her feelings that they're then telling her that she embarrassed him. Yeah, that's bad. It's bad, bad, bad, bad.

[Jennifer]

All right, here's the last one. Am I the asshole for putting my foot down and not allowing my mother in law to come for Christmas? My mother in law is a horrible person who loves to create drama wherever she can. Last Christmas we got both of our kids different gifts because one was a 13 year old girl and one was a 10 year old boy. My mother in law decided to tell my daughter that she didn't get as many gifts as my brother and that we spent less on her. Basically trying to get our d to believe that we loved her less. We then had to deal with a crying 13 year old on Christmas. My mother in law has also bought super expensive gifts for people specifically to upstage everyone. She will even make a point of mentioning it in front of people how much the gift costs. She called up to ask what we would be doing for Christmas since it's our turn to host. I then decided to put my foot down and told my wife That I do not want her at our house starting drama on Christmas. My wife is completely against it and thinks I'm being incredibly cruel to her mom and doesn't want to exclude her.

[Angie]

I say not the. I think that's a great boundary. She sounds very healthy.

[Jennifer]

I agree. I think that that is the way a lot of mothers in law should be treated.

[Angie]

Absolutely.

[Jennifer]

I think that you have to put a boundary up because so many mothers in law think that they can just have free rein into their adult children's lives and show up and boss everybody around and be involved in all the minutiae that goes on in a family. And it's enmeshment and it's toxic and it's really, really, really sick, in my opinion. And I think this guy, this dad saying, I'm not going to be a part of this crazy. I'm not going to be a part of this toxic stuff. I don't want her in my house. Is the best example that he could send for his children to say, your grandmother, we love her, but she's toxic. And I'm not allowing this in our space.

[Angie]

I completely agree. And the fact that she hurt your daughter's feelings and implied that you loved her less, I think that's all you need to say. Like we're not tolerating that. Yeah, we gave you a chance, you fucked it up. Now you're going to find out.

[Jennifer]

And you know, this is the type of mother in law that you know is probably lots of snide comments when it's not just the gifts, you know, it's just snide comment after snide comment after snide comment.

[Angie]

Are those new pants? Because I assume they are because you've gained weight, but I really like them. Those kind of comments.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, that's.

[Angie]

That's who you're dealing with here.

[Jennifer]

If I lived here, I would have put the sofa over here. It's interesting that you chose to put it in front of the fireplace and not perpendicular to.

[Angie]

Right. I mean, I'm sure this one.

[Jennifer]

That kind of shit. Yeah.

[Angie]

It's just miserable to be around.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Angie]

No, I give a big hip, hip, hooray to that guy.

[Jennifer]

No, I do too. I think that's so incredibly healthy. And then, you know, I always think if my kids choose to have kids, like my parents have set a really good example, like they are not high maintenance. They do not tell us how to live our lives. They don't tell us how to spend our money. They. Throughout all of the stuff that I've gone through with Josh have been nothing short of supportive. When they come over, they stay about 45 minutes, right? And then they leave and we talk on the phone about once a week. It is like it is, there is just, there's boundaries and when I see them, I thoroughly enjoy them. And they're just not involved in the minutia of how we raise our kids. All of those things are left solely on me because their only job is to be a grandparent. And my, as my dad says, being a grandparent is just pure joy. He just, he just gets to experience the joy of being a grandparent. He doesn't have to worry about the rearing, the disciplining, getting involved in all the minutiae of our lives. And I just, it's. I hope, I think I will, I think that I'll take that lead because, you know, I'm already feeling with Roman being a senior, like I've raised my kids, I'm already feeling that immensely. Like they need to go and make their screw ups in young adulthood and I'm not going to jump in front of them unless it's something clearly egregious.

[Angie]

Right. But I also, in the, I've done my time. It's like now I get to do something for me, I get to be the one that makes decisions about what I want to do and not what everybody else wants to do. So I agree. I like the kids growing up. I like them better every year. Every year they're older, I like them better.

[Jennifer]

Adult kids are great. The whole thing where I'll see parents like Roman being a senior and they'll go, isn't it so sad? And I'm like, it really isn't that burden that people put on mothers to feel some sort of sadness because their child has made it to 18, I think is so unfair. And I think the language surrounding that needs to change because I'm not sad about it. I'm really happy for the boys that they've. Young men that they become. And I enjoy adult children.

[Angie]

They're.

[Jennifer]

The conversations are better, a lot better. That interactions are better.

[Angie]

Yeah, are fun. Here's the deal. That whole senior year, you're right in the thick of it, but it's just like, oh, it's so sad. It's like it's fucking happy. They're getting ready to start their lives and we, we get a second chance at life. I couldn't. There's zero downside in my opinion. But I mean, I've gone on and on about that last year.

[Jennifer]

Okay. I found a wonderful video that I'd like to share with our listener. Okay, viewers. And this will be our Christmas theme song for sure.

[E]

Try not to be account It's Christmas Take a chip from Santa's home the rest of us are doing our best Best to be jolly so don't go looking like you swallowed a bunch of holly don't shout at carol Sing us in town up to st Just buy your presents from the Oxman Sh A box Sa have another sherry Try not to be a C Try not to be a C From winter reindeer I'm slaying up to Lapland Try not C u N T.

[Angie]

That'S the most fantastic thing I've ever seen in my life. How much do you love that?

[Jennifer]

It's fantastic. And it is just a great way to end our Christmas episode because there's so much bullshit, especially from women towards other women. Like when we start this podcast, oh, my God, they cuss too much. It's never men. It's always these men. Uptight, crotchety, crusty white women. And there's all this judgment that they sit in. And I love these ladies right here, close to our age, just saying, try not to be a cunt. It's Christmas and I just love that. And I want to say Merry Christmas to all of the uncrusty, fabulous listeners that we have and to all of the crusty, uptight, wound up like a cheap clock, get your panties in a wad because somebody cussed. Try not to be a cunt this Christmas.

[Angie]

Just try. I know it'll be hard. Yeah. But you can try.

[Jennifer]

Quit letting cunt be your default setting because nobody likes you.

[Angie]

Right. And I just. I want to say, you didn't say those women were closer to my age. You said our age. So that right there tells me you're trying not to be a cunt. I appreciate it.

[Jennifer]

It was. It was the. My feeling of holiday cheer.

[Angie]

Right.

[Jennifer]

And giving. It was.

[Angie]

I know it wasn't unnoticed.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. I'm still significantly younger. That's unchanged. But.

[Angie]

And a terrible winner. But. Happy holidays, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Christmas, Merry Christmas, all the things. We'll see you next Tuesday and Thursday. I'll tell you what I've had it with.

[Unknown]

Let's hear it.

[Jennifer]

I've had it with that. Listen up, patriots, gaytriots and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday. Every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America. Always served with a side of petty grievances.

[Angie]

We are on all the available platforms. Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcast and YouTube.

[Jennifer]

Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind. Pumps. Pumps. What does an eagle say? Caca. A little bit more enthusiasm.

[Angie]

Caca.

[Jennifer]

That's it. That's. That's caca. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.