Ban Straight Marriage

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Ban Straight Marriage" - I've Had It

Podcast Information:

• Title: I've Had It
• Hosts: Jennifer Welch and Angie “Pumps” Sullivan
• Episode Title: Ban Straight Marriage
• Release Date: March 6, 2025
• Description: A comedic, feel-good podcast where hosts Jennifer and Angie discuss the myriad things they've "had it with," often delving into societal frustrations with humor and candidness.

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1. Opening Remarks and Setting the Tone (00:00 - 02:21)

Jennifer Welch and Angie Sullivan kick off the episode with light-hearted banter about creating a new jingle for their DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) podcast. They discuss the overwhelming nature of long-term goals and advocate for breaking them down into more manageable time frames to reduce stress.

Notable Quote:

• Jennifer Welch (02:08): “Move the goalposts. Right.”

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2. Frustrations with DIY Projects and Product Assembly (02:21 - 05:46)

Angie expresses her exasperation with DIY (Do It Yourself) projects, particularly the poor quality of instructions and the difficulty of assembling products like dog beds. She highlights the frustration of dealing with unclear manual instructions and small print, making the assembly process unnecessarily complicated.

Notable Quote:

• Angie Sullivan (02:25): “I've had it with anything DIY related... I can't do anything myself.”

Jennifer relates by sharing her own struggles with assembling toys for her children, emphasizing the gender dynamics where she ends up doing all the assembly work due to her husband's lack of tools and mechanical skills.

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3. Critique of Elon Musk and Corporate Influence (06:08 - 10:22)

Jennifer shifts the conversation to her grievances with Elon Musk, criticizing his influence, behavior, and business practices. She argues that Musk epitomizes a misconception that wealth equates to intelligence, especially after his alignment with Donald Trump. The hosts discuss Musk's acquisition of government contracts and his perceived negative impact on leadership and masculinity.

Notable Quotes:

• Jennifer Welch (06:08): “I have just absolutely had it with Elon Musk.”
• Jennifer Welch (09:24): “I think his cars are ugly... I think he needs to be deported.”

Angie concurs, adding that while Musk pioneered electric vehicles, she disassociates from his business ventures, labeling him as a "sociopathic jerk."

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4. Listener Comments and Community Interaction (11:32 - 19:31)

To support Angie’s mood and mental health, Jennifer reads comments from their online audience. These include:

• Scott Zanger (11:32): Criticizes DEI and accuses their podcast of perpetuating "trans crap, woke crap."
• Maria Alvarez (12:58): Compliments their makeup but with a hint of sarcasm.
• Carson from South Carolina (19:33): Comments on their psychoanalyzing approach to everyday situations.

The hosts humorously respond to these comments, maintaining a balance between addressing criticism and celebrating positive feedback. They also share personal anecdotes about dealing with stress and the importance of mental health, endorsing products like Tushy bidets and BetterHelp therapy services.

Notable Quote:

• Jennifer Welch (12:13): “I am throwing myself under the bus because I know it brings you joy.”

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5. Discussion on Marriage and Relationship Stress (19:31 - 35:28)

The core discussion revolves around the pressures and stress associated with marriage, particularly within heterosexual relationships. They reference a study revealing that husbands stress women twice as much as children do, citing inequalities in domestic responsibilities.

Notable Quotes:

• Jennifer Welch (20:03): “Marriages are really, really difficult. They bring out whatever your character defects are.”
• Angie Sullivan (35:28): “Watch the fuck out because the other shoe's gonna drop at some point.”

Jennifer shares personal experiences of dealing with a stressful marriage, contrasting it with her positive relationship with her well-behaved children. Angie adds insights from her career as a divorce lawyer, emphasizing the emotional and financial hardships women often face in traditional marriages.

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6. Proposal to Ban Straight Marriages (35:28 - 44:46)

Building on their frustrations with traditional heterosexual marriages, Jennifer and Angie humorously propose banning straight marriages as a means to combat societal issues like racism and patriarchy.

Notable Quotes:

• Jennifer Welch (23:26): “We just ban straight marriage. Everything MAGA wants, we just go the complete opposite.”
• Angie Sullivan (24:24): “No white on white marriage.”

The hosts suggest that banning straight marriages, particularly white-on-white matches, could disrupt racial segregation and challenge deep-seated societal norms. They discuss the positive impacts of cultural diversity, using the Oklahoma City Thunder's integration of Black athletes as an example of reducing racial tensions.

Notable Story: Jennifer recounts how the arrival of the Oklahoma City Thunder, featuring Black athletes like Serge Ibaka, fostered greater racial appreciation and unity among white fans in Oklahoma City.

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7. Addressing More Listener Grievances (44:46 - 51:17)

The conversation shifts back to listener feedback, where comments criticize politicians for not taking decisive stances against figures like Donald Trump and Elon Musk. Commenters express frustration over perceived emasculation and the lack of strong leadership within the Democratic Party.

Notable Quotes:

• Isaac (38:27): “Why are you sending me 326 messages about this petition... when I haven't heard not one of you call Donald Trump a Nazi and MAGA Nazis?”
• Jennifer Welch (42:42): “It makes you think, are they in on it?”

The hosts lament the Democratic Party’s inability to confront extremist elements effectively, arguing that strong, unapologetic leadership is necessary to counteract the influence of far-right figures and ideologies.

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8. Humorous Segments and Personal Anecdotes (51:17 - 53:10)

Jennifer and Angie engage in playful banter about their own signatures and childhood memories, highlighting the immaturity they observe in political figures compared to their own experiences.

Notable Quote:

• Angie Sullivan (47:31): “Attorney at Law. Maga Slayer. America's top DEI podcaster Angie D. Beaver.”

They joke about adopting a beaver mascot for their proposed activism, underscoring their commitment to combating fascism with humor and creativity.

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9. Closing Remarks and Promotions (53:10 - 54:42)

The episode concludes with promotions for their upcoming podcast, "Ihip News News," which offers daily political hot takes. They encourage listeners to subscribe, follow, and support their content through various platforms.

Notable Quote:

• Jennifer Welch (52:22): “Support our show and tell them that we sent you.”

Additionally, sponsors Fresh Step and Intuit TurboTax make brief appearances towards the end, although these segments are generally skipped in the summary as per instructions.

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Conclusion

In the "Ban Straight Marriage" episode of I've Had It, Jennifer Welch and Angie Sullivan navigate a blend of personal frustrations, societal critiques, and humorous commentary. They address issues ranging from the pitfalls of DIY projects and the controversial influence of Elon Musk to deeper societal constructs like marriage and political leadership. Through candid discussions and engaging listener interactions, the hosts advocate for radical changes to traditional norms, all while maintaining a comedic and relatable tone. This episode underscores their commitment to highlighting and challenging the aspects of society they've "had it with," encouraging listeners to reflect and engage in meaningful conversations.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Jennifer Welch]

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[Angie]

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[Jennifer Welch]

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[Jennifer Welch]

Patriots, Gaytriots. Patriots. Welcome to America's top DEI podcast, starring me pups and. And me. Okay, so listen, do you remember how we've had, like, listeners make us jingles?

[Angie]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Welch]

I want a new jingle in Trump's America. Listener. Creative, musically creative jingle makers. That's like, welcome to America's top DEI podcast.

[Angie]

Dei, yes. That's a great idea.

[Jennifer Welch]

I really think I. I need that to get me through a couple more months.

[Angie]

Yeah, I mean, I think we have to stop looking at. Okay, we're gonna get to 20, 26. I think we need to look at. We need to get through March 31st, and then we need to get through April 15th.

[Jennifer Welch]

Yeah.

[Angie]

And maybe break it down two weeks, a month.

[Jennifer Welch]

Move the goalposts. Right.

[Angie]

Because it is overwhelming. Four years away is overwhelming. Two years seems like it'll never happen, but you can remotely envision getting through the next 30 days.

[Jennifer Welch]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, pumps. What have you had it with?

[Angie]

Okay, what I've had it with is I've had it. When you buy something and you think it's put together and you get it home and you take it out of the box and you have to put it fucking together. And not only do they give you instructions that are unclear, the type is so tiny. And I know that I can't see and I have to wear readers at my advanced age, but I shit you not, I was trying to put together a dog bed that came in a huge box. There was no reason that it wasn't prepackaged. Just open it up. I mean, mattresses, you open up and they make, you know, they fill up with air and they're fine. I had, like, three parts. I had to zip certain things in, take them out. I mean, I had this dog bed all over me. It probably took me 30 minutes just to figure out which end. The directions we're discussing in the directions. Because the type was so tiny. I have had it with anything DIY related. And I know this doesn't really count as that, but for me it does, because I can't do anything myself.

[Jennifer Welch]

Is it DIY or dy Oh, D I Y diy.

[Angie]

And is it only fans or Fans only? I always say it wrong, so I can never.

[Jennifer Welch]

Only fans. Only fans Listener. She always says, you think that girl has a fans only account? And Kylie's always like, it's only fans. Pumps. Okay, a few things about this. I really suffered from what you're talking about when my kids were little.

[Angie]

The worst.

[Jennifer Welch]

And Christmas Eve was brutal because you had all these toys and you had to put them together. Because we lie to our kids and tell them Santa brought them. Absolutely. Santa doesn't wrap gifts. They're just left under the tree. And so Josh and I would be up, and Josh Welch has. Does not own a screwdriver. I mean, zero tools, zero stereotypical ability of a man to assemble anything. And I will remind the listener, he just discovered manscaping recently through his consultation at Best Buy. So that's what I was up against. Right. So I end up being the one that has to assemble everything. Because as an interior designer, when we're on job sites and sometimes stuff arrives, you. You learn how if something's not put together, you. You have to put it together. You have to do it before the client gets there for the big reveal. So I was always the one that was dicked over there putting all this stuff together. But I'm curious about the bed. Was this, like, did you order your dog a canopy bed? Was. Or was this just a cushion with a case and you zipped it up?

[Angie]

It had an egg crate bottom, and then it had sides. You had to install, and then you had to put all that in the washable cover.

[Jennifer Welch]

Follow up, was this a purchase on Instagram?

[Angie]

No. One of the few things that I've purchased not on Instagram lately, which that could be a habit because I fell into the trap again of buying something on Instagram. I thought it was just gonna get rid of all my crow's feet. Newsflash, it didn't. But no I ordered this for my big dog. So it's an extra large, you know, for 100 pound dog. So it's big, but the box was big. When I opened it up and it came in rolls, I was like, do I have the right thing? Like, I'm looking on the box like, who is this from? How can this be that I just didn't open this up and it was already made? How did I have to do this?

[Jennifer Welch]

Because it's Trump's America.

[Angie]

It's true. Here's the deal. Before January 20, I would have opened that box. It would have fluffed right out. 24 hours later, it would have been Fluffy Cloud.

[Jennifer Welch]

These are the micro aggressions of the Donald Trump presidency. I agree with you. We are not competent enough to assemble these things. We would prefer that they come assembled.

[Angie]

Agreed.

[Jennifer Welch]

Okay. This is America is not known for being the brightest. And so certainly not now. Please help us. Okay, Let me tell you what I've had it with. And this is rather pedestrian, but I just think it's something we have to talk about. I've had it with Elon Musk. I have just absolutely had it with Elon Musk. And let me break it down for you and the listener, number one, you think is if you're raised in a hyper capitalistic society like the United States, that if somebody has money, they're smart. And then the older you get and the more you sit around people with money, you're thinking, well, that guy's kind of a dipshit. You know, especially in Oklahoma, you run into a bunch of, like, oil and gas guys, right, that kind of struck gold, like, you know, Jed Clampett and Beverly Hillbillies. And you're like, well, that guy's a diploma dipshit. So the more and more I see this guy speak, the more I'm like, what. Yeah on earth is going on here? And then you start unpackaging it. Like, before he. He sucked up to Trump, he was a rich guy that owned Tesla. I didn't really care beyond that.

[Angie]

Right.

[Jennifer Welch]

I never really saw videos of him talking. I just knew he owned Tesla and he lived in California. And then you, you know, heard some, he's moving to Texas, and then he starts sucking up to Trump. Well, then you find out that he is a total parasite that sucks off the US government to the tune of over $20 billion. And then all these MAGA are like, we don't want immigrants taking our money. This is American taxpayer money for Americans. And this MFer is from South Africa. No disrespect to our South African listeners. We love you. We hate Musk. You find out that this MFER is from South Africa and comes over here and he thinks we need to reorganize and redo everything for him, right? And MAGA is so goddamn dumb. They're just going right along with it. The only, and I mean, pumps. The only thing that has been even a tad enjoyable, but also somewhat terrifying at the same time. You can have a compound emotion. It's enjoyable. It also kind of terrifies me. It's just how much he's emasculated Donald Trump, right? Donald Trump's posture around him. He slumped over. He looks defeated. Elon Musk, in the total flex move of all flex moves, takes his toddler into the Oval Office while Trump's sitting there slouched over. I mean, like. Like he's in the fetal position behind the Resolute desk. Elon Musk has his little kid picking boogers and wiping on his desk and telling him off, right?

[Angie]

Tell him, shh, you're not the president.

[Jennifer Welch]

And I've just, I've had it. I don't understand. And I need a MAGA person to explain this to me. Like, I'm five. How you don't like people sucking off the government and you don't like non Americans sucking off the government, yet you're all chips in on a South African sucking off the government to the tune of over 20 billion. $20 billion. And is rewarding himself while he's managing the federal government, new government contracts, right?

[Angie]

And taking over agencies completely.

[Jennifer Welch]

And I just want to go and say this. Number one, I think his cars are ugly.

[Angie]

Well, this, the Tesla, it's.

[Jennifer Welch]

I mean, I think it's ugly.

[Angie]

It's not a visual assault on my eyes, just the normal one. The cybertruck is an assault.

[Jennifer Welch]

It's awful. I think. I think his rockets are stupid. I think the cars are ugly. I think the truck is ugly. And I think he needs to be deported. And that is my grievance for today.

[Angie]

Well, I think that there is probably no higher value grievance than that one. So it was absolutely not pedestrian, But I am one of those people that fell into the trap. Well, I mean, he invented Tesla and he EVs.

[Jennifer Welch]

He didn't. That's a myth he didn't invent.

[Angie]

So this is what. This is just what I assumed. And then I hear him speak and how he behaves, and I think, this guy is a complete nut and fascist and authoritarian and mean and cruel and awful. And why doesn't he take his billions and do something for good instead of burn the whole world down because he's a sociopathic jer.

[Jennifer Welch]

Drug addict.

[Fresh Step Sponsor]

Right.

[Angie]

And I think he and Vladimir Putin have a European domination like bro thing.

[Jennifer Welch]

Yeah, probably. Okay, I want to welcome you to I've had it. America's top DEI podcast. I'm Jennifer.

[Angie]

I'm Angie.

[Jennifer Welch]

She's the star of the show. She's America's legal eagle, despite somebody else already having branded themselves that we are piggybacking.

[Angie]

How about I can be the DEI legal eagle?

[Jennifer Welch]

I like it. I like where your head's at. Pumps has been in a terrible mood today. Her dog ingested some nicotine pouches. Last night she called me me and said I answered the phone. Hello. I hate that I got married. I hate that I have kids. I hate that I bought this dog. I hate everything. I am so mad. I go, what happened? Ollie found one of the kids nicotine pouches and I think he ingested it. And I'm going to get a stomach pump. So she's been in a very foul mood. Not to mention the fact that because we have this other podcast, I Hip News, we have to stay abreast of the 24 hour news cycle, which is the most sadistic thing on the planet. It really is. It's awful. So we're in order to treat pumps and mental health. I'm going to read some comments to her online.

[Angie]

Okay.

[Jennifer Welch]

All right, here's a comment that somebody left for us on YouTube. His name is Scott Zanger, 2019. Hey, Pervert Network, why don't you talk about 31% of America like the radical left wing pervert party Democrats, look it up. The American don't want illegal immigrants. Trans crap woke crap, drag shows crap DEI crap, period. Scott, what I'm gonna say to you is the vice president is a drag queen. Right there is. Just Google it. President Google. No, but. No but Google. J.D. vance, drag queen.

[Angie]

Right? He was in drag. Yeah.

[Jennifer Welch]

There are drag pictures. He wears eyeliner and he is dying to to pop a smokey eye. There's no question. And then he says here, the Americans don't want illegal immigrants. Look no further than my aforementioned grievance. Okay, so then I have one for you that this will really cheer you up. Somebody posted on one of our shows, I don't know which podcast it was, but one of them and her name is Maria Alvarez. And she says, meanwhile, meet curtains. Tell sis her forehead looks slightly oily. We can't be hypocritical. Ladies, meet Curtains. Your matte makeup is on point.

[Angie]

Oh, my gosh. Here's the deal.

[Jennifer Welch]

I'm throwing myself under the buzz because I know it brings you joy.

[Angie]

Okay, here's the thing. I am obsessed with that. I'm oily faced. I'm obsessed with what my great aunt used to call the dewy look. I don't like it. I like pure Ma. I know that's in Jennifer. When I'm obsessing about it, she's like, that's in. That's in. So for this person to hit me right where, like, that's like my number one thing that I worry about is sitting here with a complete baby oil.

[Jennifer Welch]

Face like we did when we interviewed Kamala Harris.

[Angie]

That is something I will never, ever get over. Like when they played that on the View and I saw our picture, I.

[Jennifer Welch]

Just thought we look like hammered oil dog shit.

[Angie]

Like, did you just come out of the baby oil pool before you met the vice president?

[Jennifer Welch]

Exactly what it looks like.

[Angie]

Didn't get her hair done.

[Jennifer Welch]

What a bunch of dipshits.

[Angie]

Anyway, that's. That's not the point. The point is, thank you for noticing. And I'm always good to tell you if you have an oily forehead. I didn't notice that.

[Jennifer Welch]

Well, apparently on this particular day you didn't.

[Angie]

I didn't.

[Jennifer Welch]

And. But I just know that you like, you know, it's just a little dagger, a little light bash.

[Angie]

Especially after how beautiful you were at the restaurant.

[Jennifer Welch]

Exactly. And how athletic the doctor said I was.

[Angie]

I think it's just been your past seven days.

[Jennifer Welch]

I just want to cheer you up with that.

[Angie]

I'm much cheery.

[Jennifer Welch]

Somebody put me in my place and my. With my oily face. Which. Is it oily right now?

[Angie]

No, it's not. Cuz I was looking when I was talking to you.

[Jennifer Welch]

Okay, listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up. Wouldn't you say, Pumps?

[Angie]

I would say damn near psychotic.

[Jennifer Welch]

Totally. And we have written in a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is.

[Angie]

A Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.

[Jennifer Welch]

In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre order your copy. Now, listener, I have to share with you. Pumps and I both treated ourselves to a tushy bidet. And this is the ultimate luxury. It's not crazy expensive at all. It is so easy to install and it is just a complete game changer each and every time you visit the commode.

[Angie]

What I love about Tushy is I feel so extra special clean afterwards. And you have electric in your bathroom. I don't. And Tushy has a toilet for either one of us.

[Jennifer Welch]

Aura is Tushy's brand new electric bidet with an auto open lid and seat, instant warm water that never runs cold and UV sterilization for next level hygiene. Listener Elevate your comfort every day for life. For a limited time, our listeners get 10% off their first bidet order when you use code hatit at the checkout. That's 10% off your first bidet [e-mail] with the promo code hatit. Elevate your comfort every day for life. For a limited time our listeners get 10% off their first bidet order when you use code hatit at checkout. That's 10% off your first bidet [e-mail] with promo code Hattit. This episode is sponsored by Better Help Pumps. I am just feel so much anxiety lately and there's just a lot going on in the world and I am so grateful that on my own time, on my own schedule, in the privacy of my own home, I can have a therapy session with my therapist from BetterHelp. It grounds me, it centers me.

[Angie]

What's wonderful about your BetterHelp therapist is you get to choose your therapist. It's convenient for your schedule. I like to do it in my own home because I feel no inhibitions and I can say exactly how I feel.

[Jennifer Welch]

Access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties Easily switch therapists at any time for no extra cost. Build your support system with better help. Visit betterhelp.com had it. To get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp. Help.com had it. All right, Kylie.

[Kylie]

Hello.

[Jennifer Welch]

What's going on on the Internet?

[Kylie]

Okay, I've got a five star review that is going to cheer you up even further.

[Jennifer Welch]

Okay.

[Kylie]

It's titled Orange Makeup Spy and they write, I'm convinced that Trump's makeup artist is a secret Democrat. I can hear her or him telling Trump, those people don't know what they're talking about. They're too poor to know what good makeup blending looks like. Love you ladies.

[Jennifer Welch]

Oh, that's good. You know, I believe it.

[Angie]

A lot of this stuff that has been going on in this administration. I'm like, it's so randomly odd and vapid and horrible. I'm thinking, are they doing it just to piss people off? And I've thought about that with the makeup artists too. Like, is this just to see how crazy we'll go? Is this a Democratic plant? Like, it's not off the board?

[Jennifer Welch]

I, I think at this point it's safe to say if there were any Democratic plants in the Trump administration, they are failing miserably. Yeah, that's true. Okay, what's next?

[Kylie]

Okay, I've got another five star titled psychoanalyzing Everyday Situations. Hi ladies. My name is Carson from South Carolina and I've had it. I would like to first say that because of Jennifer, I'm now psychoanalyzing people in everyday situations. Why does this person feel the need to have 30 Stanley's? Why is Applebee's your go to date spot on a lonely Friday evening followed by Hannity at nine while you do your skincare with a pearl bedazzled headband? So much pontification and so little time to do it anyways, I do indeed have a parasocial relationship with two barely competent middle aged women and I've never been so enthralled. Parentheses, I hope you love that word use Jennifer.

[Jennifer Welch]

Excellent, excellent, excellent questions that you're starting to ask yourself now about particular human beings in which we have to share. Oxygen. An excellent use of vocabulary. Yes. Bravo. Well done.

[Angie]

All right, smart listeners, I have a.

[Jennifer Welch]

Couple of news stories for us to review. The first one is study reveals husbands stress women twice as much as children do. Researchers found that many women feel overwhelmed by the emotional and domestic workload in their marriages, often describing their spouse as an extra child rather than a supportive partner. This imbalance in responsibilities, particularly with household chores and child care, contributes to increased stress hums.

[Angie]

I completely agree with that. I know for me personally in my marriage, my ex husband was 6,000% more stress and anxiety than the kids were. But let me take you back to baby Lawyer Angie, maybe 26, clipping over to the courthouse with this older client that I really, really liked. And I said, you know, how are you doing? We're walking over to get her divorce entered and we walked out. And I said, are you okay? Because some people just have a meltdown even though they want it. It's just a big, huge change. And she said, I feel liberated because today I didn't lose a husband, I lost a dependent. And I wasn't married, so I didn't know. And that has stuck with me all this time. And it was exactly what that article is about. Exactly.

[Jennifer Welch]

You know, it's true. It's so crazy because we're under this. We're gaslit into believing that marriage solves a lot of your problems. Like when I'm big, my problems will go away. When I'm married, my problems will go away. When you're in a toxic relationship. If we're married, all of this will be fixed. And marriages are really, really difficult. They bring out whatever your character defects are. They come out like big time in marriage. And I agree. I love Josh listener. Y'all know I do. But he was a million times more stressful for me than my kids. And I'm really lucky. Really good kids. They've kind of gone straight down the fairway. They've never really. They're good people. They haven't given me a lot of trouble. And the trouble that they have been is the good trouble where they've had to learn, no, you can't do that, you know, what have you. So I've been really hashtag blessed in that regard. But I'm telling you, man, the stress, when I think about being in my 30s, yeah, fuck, all the stress came from the husband.

[Angie]

I completely agree. That was my experience.

[Jennifer Welch]

This was pre Best Buy era, which is very recent. Yes. Okay. The next story is related to this new research shows that gay and lesbian couples tend to have a higher quality relationships than their heterosexual counterparts relative to heterosexual relationships. Same sex relationships tend to have more equitable domestic work arrangements, less defined gender roles, and a greater sense of social connectedness to a community. They believe these findings suggest heterosexual couples could in fact learn something from gay and lesbian couples. Further knowledge of the strategies developed by gay and lesbian couples to maintain their relationship quality despite individual and institutional discrimination could help to develop new counseling tools.

[Angie]

You know what, when you were reading that headline, all the things in that article that were mentioned, like the gender roles, equitability, I was thinking, I think that that would be better in a same sex couple because in heteronormative relationships, there are such gender roles baked in the cake. And so I think, think that's interesting and it seems like it's true. Just common sense true.

[Jennifer Welch]

Here's what I think we do. Okay, we just start ban straight marriage.

[Angie]

Maybe we should do a build of banned straight marriage.

[Jennifer Welch]

Just, we just, I mean, just ban straight marriage. Everything MAGA wants, we just go the complete opposite and just flood the zone with it. We are, you know, everybody knows about our toddler advocacy Program where we're advocating for toddler safety and have basically found two places which they are safe, which is home and school. Outside of that, you can't take your toddler anyway. No.

[Angie]

You're at home.

[Jennifer Welch]

So I think these straight marriages are a minefield of toxic, really bad breeding grounds for bad things to happen. And so I think we should just ban straight marriages.

[Angie]

I think that's a great idea. I think we should take it one step further and say, you cannot marry within your own race. Every marriage has to be a mixed race marriage.

[Jennifer Welch]

I love that.

[Angie]

I mean, I think that would open a lot of eyes and appreciation of diversity.

[Jennifer Welch]

Yeah. But I think that should only be for white people.

[Angie]

Completely agree. Yeah, 100%.

[Jennifer Welch]

No white on white marriage.

[Angie]

No white on white marriage.

[Jennifer Welch]

We want to ban straight white on white marriage.

[Angie]

It's just a breeding ground and hotbed.

[Jennifer Welch]

For bad ideas that potentially leads to maga.

[Angie]

Right. If there's even a chance you're going to be led to maga, we have to stop it before going to start. Yeah.

[Jennifer Welch]

Ban white on white heterosexual marriage. Kylie, what do you think about that?

[Kylie]

I'm 100% on board.

[Jennifer Welch]

Yeah. I. I genuinely think, like, think about just in Oklahoma, how many, how many problems that could solve. I'll tell y'all a story. So Oklahoma listener is the buckle of the Bible belt. And this is just the truth. The more evangelical groups of white people are, the more racist they are. Right. And so about what? Fifteen years ago, we get the Oklahoma City Thunder and they trot out all these hot African American basketball players. There's this one player in particular named Serge Ibaka who is just. I mean, he would look good sitting in the barrel of a loaded shotgun. Hot. And then this image gets kind of leaked all online. And he's in these gym shorts, but you can see his penis. And let me just say size Queen pumps approved it and brings it up still decades later.

[Angie]

We were just passing the picture round.

[Jennifer Welch]

At the Knicks game.

[Angie]

At the Knicks games, we were shown our friend that we went to the game with from New York. He was like, no way. And it's just. It's unbelievable.

[Jennifer Welch]

Yeah. So anyway, my point is that once this team rolled in Josh Welch, all the women in Oklahoma City were super excited to go to games, were wearing thunder merch. They were all in on NBA basketball. And Josh Welch said to me, well, I don't think anything has combated racism as much in Oklahoma City as the Oklahoma City Thunder rolling out here with all these hot black basketball player men because all these white Women were all of a sudden, huge, huge, huge Thunder fans. And it wasn't just like, oh, I love to go to the games. It was like, oh, my God, I love to go to the games. And those players are hot. I mean, it was like. It was like a cougar moment. But it genuinely. I think Josh had a very astute point. It genuinely helped with the issue of race because so many white people are still so segregated in white culture and completely around white people, they are never around or mixed with black people. And so that NBA move has been very beneficial. Now, it didn't help anything in the state as far as voting goes.

[Angie]

Right. Nobody got smarter. But I will say this. People that live in, like, on the east coast or metropolitan areas, you have to understand, you can live in Oklahoma, and if there are certain places you live, there is not one foreign language. There's not one person of color. I mean, it is like sitting in a glass of milk all day, every day. There's just zero commingling of different cultures.

[Jennifer Welch]

No diversity.

[Angie]

None.

[Jennifer Welch]

To tell you this. No diversity and no culture, period.

[Angie]

Except church.

[Jennifer Welch]

There is no culture. I mean, there is just none. Zero. And so I think when the NBA rolled into Oklahoma City, NBA, you. When these players roll out and they're playing hip hop music and you get this flavor of black culture and people like it.

[Angie]

They do.

[Jennifer Welch]

People. When you are in more diverse cultures, I think you're like, I always imagine when we go to New York and you just walk down the street, you hear multiple different languages, every skin color, and everybody's just kind of like peacefully walking about. And here, every time we get back and we land, I'm always like, oh, my God, this place is just so white. I'm so grateful that my sons have a lot because of their basketball and aau, that they have a lot of really close, you know, black friends and exposure. Josh and I have become friends with their parents. And that is infinitely made our lives better. That diversity in our life has made our lives so much better. Okay, I believe today that we are going to hear from you, listener Kylie, play our first clip.

[Kylie]

Okay. Up first, we've got Carolyn.

[Carolyn]

Hey, guys. I have had it with people who don't do their job but still collect a paycheck. Say, for instance, my two Texas Senators up in Washington, they're not doing a damn thing up there. And I get it, you're disabled. You lost your balls. You have no ability to stand up to the big orange guy. Just take the disability check, Stop collecting a real paycheck because you aren't clearly doing the job. When you get your balls back, then you can collect your paycheck. Until then go on disability like the rest of them.

[Jennifer Welch]

I totally agree with her. The castration of white MAGA men in the face of Donald Trump is. I have never seen such an emasculation castration situation ever. In all 50 years of my life, I have never seen such obsequiousness to such a disgusting, unmanly person as Donald Trump.

[Angie]

Well, and not only that, they are so emasculated lay down so flatly for this man and his ideals, yet they want to tell you how masculine they are. The. It's just, it's. I mean, I know it's probably insecurity and I know it's projection, but it's like, you are the worst. You fucking suck. You have no balls and you sit around and tell us how many balls you have, which. It's so gross, the whole thing.

[Jennifer Welch]

Totally agree. Who's next?

[Matthew]

Okay, up next, we've got Matthew Pussypums, Juicy, Jen, Katherine. Ladies, it's Matt. Can we talk about how this is really pressing in Trump's America? It seems as though nobody can admit they're unemployed if that's her situation. And I've been noticing this for quite some time, like these stay at home moms, these trad wives, like, oh, you know, I'm a home director. I'm a freelance artist. I make bedazzled diapers for babies to shit in. Like, no, mama, you're actually just unemployed in the home that you own. Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, but that's the truth. You know, you're unemployed in the home that you own. Or I have a co worker and I see his social media, I follow it, and it says art director, babe, you're not directing jack shit. And I'm sorry that I have to be the first one to tell you that, but I don't know what this whole facade is with, like, being unemployed and like, oh, I do this, I do that. And it's like, I need to see your tax rate record, babe. If we're going to go around marching about that, like, we need to pull up, let's call the IRS and let's get it figured out and settled once and for all. Because I think it's kind of fake news, and I hate to use that term because I know that's a trumpy term, but this is really fake news.

[Jennifer Welch]

I love Matt and he brings up a really good point because right now there is this. You know, they're obviously slashing all sorts of government jobs and you have Marjorie Taylor Greene up there saying, get a real job, go work, blah, blah, blah, blah. When a lot of these fucking trad wives that are, you know, collecting Stanley Cups and MAGA shit, they're unemployed too.

[Angie]

Yeah. And calling themselves home director. Now. That was a new one on me. Home director.

[Jennifer Welch]

And here's the thing. People get real pissed off about us when we talk about this. If you get to stay home with your kids and that's what you want to do, it's a free country for now. Swing for the fences, I don't give a shit. But don't try to equate that luxury of being able to stay at home with your kids. When you have people that have to work and be a mom at the same time, then you have two jobs. Just at least acknowledge that during the hours of 8am to 3:30pm you don't have jack shit to do. You know, I mean, like, I'll go play tennis on my lunch hour and I see these women and they don't. They're per mat unemployed. And good for them. I'm not jealous, but like, they're dicking off. It's like yoga. Then they go play tennis and they're going to get a facial. They might go do a round of laundry and then they're going to carpool. Well, for me, it's like I race off, go to tennis on my lunch hour, and then race back and then would have to go to carpool. And I mean, it's more difficult. It's just a lot more difficult when your income is necessary for your children to have a roof over their head and for them to eat right.

[Angie]

And a lot of women have like two jobs. They have to do all the things with two jobs and the tradwife thing. For me, it's dangerous. Like, you're putting women in a situation that's untenable and that puts them at such a compromise financially and at the mercy of whomever is financially in charge. I mean, and having been one of those women that stayed home and was putting under huge financial hardship, having to restart your career and having no money and having just to completely start over, I could kick myself over that. And I just. So maybe my perspective is too hard on that. But I always think, watch the fuck out because the other shoe's gonna drop at some point.

[Jennifer Welch]

I don't think your perspective is too hard. I think your perspective is helpful and needs to be echoed more and more. You were a divorce lawyer. You yourself fell prey to this that oh, I'm just going to be at stay at home wife and what you do is you give up any form of autonomy and then you allow for any sort of abuses. You have to acquiesce to them because your acquiescence becomes your job so that your kids are fed and you have a roof over your head. Now are all husbands who have stay at home wives abusive? No. But there's enough for this to be pointed out and shouted from the rooftops because women find themselves in compromising positions time and time again and I you know this better than anybody because of your divorce law practice. And it's just I see so many friends when you get to be Mayan pump sage. So many friends who have downright abusive husbands. I'm not talking about physical of course that exists too. But I've seen this where it's horrible emotional abuse. The husbands are total pussy chasers out all the time. The husbands are total alcoholics. Put their wives on a budget and the wife knows that if she divorces him then he's going to go nuclear punitive and not give her a cent. Drag it out in court and then it ends up punishing the kids more. So oftentimes women, these trad wives sacrifice themselves so their husbands can be MAGA pieces of shit.

[Angie]

Right? Right. The financial abuse is every bit as difficult and dangerous as any other type of abuse.

[Jennifer Welch]

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[Angie]

Tellem I love using ROE because you have an online appointment with the ROE provider in the comfort of your own home. No waiting in person, no commute time, no doctor's office waiting room. It is so convenient and the product delivers right to your door.

[Jennifer Welch]

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[Angie]

This might be tmi, but I use it under my boobs and in my butt crack. The all over deodorant. And then after I work out, I use the wipes and I'm completely confident going back to work anytime I work out during the day.

[Jennifer Welch]

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[Kylie]

Okay, up next, we've got Isaac.

[Isaac]

Hi, ladies. My name is Isaac. I love you, Jen. I love you Pumps Kathy. Love you too. Listen, I have completely had it with the Democrats. Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing worse than a Republican. But why are you sending me 326 messages about this petition and this contribution and this and that, all to get me to send you money when I haven't heard not one of you call dog, Donald Trump and MAGA Nazis. That is what it is. And yet I haven't heard a single one of you say it. So when you call them out for what they are and you start calling it what it is, I'll send you some money. But until then, leave me the alone. Get off my goddamn phone.

[Jennifer Welch]

Thank you, Isaac. Yep, this message needs to make its way inside the beltway because what the Democratic power players right now are missing. What they're totally Missing with this kind of a little bit of spice here, a little bit of bipartisanship here. What they're missing is part of the reason that Donald Trump won is because he's a fighter. He was like, fuck them, we're going to do this. Even though it's all crazy, batshit stuff. This milk toast approach is so awful. And I 100% agree with Isaac. If you had at least 10 senators and 10 Congress people that came out and held a massive press conference where they called Elon Musk a Nazi, where they called Donald Trump a Nazi, where he called him racist, where they said they're anti American, where they said they're colluding with Russia and they're dismantling democracy, and we need money to fight this, and we are going to go full tilt, hard in the paint. The money would flood in like nobody's business. But it is a disjointed message and nobody. Now there are some aoc, Jasmine Crockett, Chris Murphy, but. And Bernie Sanders, always, consistently. But that is missing. It is completely missing. They are not equal to this moment, and it is heartbreaking.

[Angie]

I completely agree with Isaac. I've had that exact same thought. I get a text every day. I should unsubscribe, but I don't, because I'm like, well, if I don't want to miss something. And I think I thought exactly what he thought, like, two nights ago. Like, if you do fucking something, if I hear you out there screaming the truth and spitting facts at the highest octave, you can. Then I'm going to be more inclined. But until then, I'm going to sit back. So Isaac's onto something. He needs to call the dnc.

[Jennifer Welch]

What they want is. What we want is a fighter that's authentic, that isn't just so worried about the next election that can acknowledge knowledge, what we're all seeing, which is a total attempt by what I believe to be Russia to completely take over and dismantle the United States of America, which has been Vladimir Putin's goal for a couple of decades, and he is winning. And the Democrats, if they had a. If they said, here's the date, here's the time, here's the march, here's the money that we need. These guys are Nazis, they're anti American, and they just said all the shit that we're witnessing, right? Everybody would be on board with it. But, I mean, I heard Hakeem Jeffries on a podcast the other day say something to the extent that I don't bend my knee to the far Left or the far right, it's like, that is the biggest false equivalency right planet. All right, the far right are goddamn Nazis doing Sig Heils. Everybody sees it, I guess. Except for you, Hakeem.

[Angie]

Yeah. I have been extremely disappointed with the leadership over in the United States Congress. It has been milquetoast, to say the least. And again, we pointed out all the time, the most vocal other than Bernie Sanders are women. Yep, Elizabeth Warren has been pretty. Yep, she's been vocal. But it's just like it's the women. The men are just pussy footing around.

[Jennifer Welch]

It's. It's pathetic. And it makes you not want to send them money because they are not acknowledging what your eyes and ears are seeing.

[Angie]

Right.

[Jennifer Welch]

And then it makes. Makes you think, are they in on it? And that's a horrible position for them to be in. But I think what happens with a lot of these politicians is they get inside the Beltway and somebody runs a poll and they're like, oh, we should move to the center. And I'm like, dip. That's why Kamala lost, because she started running around with Liz Cheney when she was calling him weird all the time. And on the attack, she was ahead in the polls, like, this is not the time to play politics. This is the time to stand up for principle, to call a Nazi a Nazi, to call a racist a racist, to call a homophobe homophobe. And if you can't do it, sit the down and let somebody else rise up. I mean, Hakeem, if you can't do it, then let Jasmine Crockett or AOC do it, because I guarantee you that have this whole thing whipped into shape and in no time. But that is just. It is abysmal. It is dangerous. And he is. If he thinks he needs to run to the center, we will never, ever, ever, ever win a race ever again. Because that is not what this moment is about. This moment is about standing up for democracy, calling a Nazi a Nazi, standing up for human rights, standing up for decency. And you're not going to do it by trying to use false equivalencies to appeal to this elusive undecided center voter. Right? I mean, give me a break.

[Angie]

Give me a break.

[Jennifer Welch]

And listen up, Democrats. We're sitting here in the middle of a red state, and where how pumps and I feel and how Isaac feels, that's not happening in a vacuum.

[Angie]

Right?

[Jennifer Welch]

Every single one of my girlfriends might be somewhat moderate, but they want that fight. They want to hear a Democrat call a Nazi a Nazi. And the support you guys would get would be overwhelming, but for some goddamn reason, nobody has the balls to do it. And it's just devastating.

[Angie]

Yeah, it is disheartening.

[Jennifer Welch]

All right, next.

[Kylie]

All right, up next, we've got a joint one from some Patreon members.

[Angie]

Oh, this is exciting.

[Emily LaBeouf]

Good morning, Pumps. Jen and Kathy, this is Emily LaBeouf. We met in New York. I'm the tall one. Anyhow, Gary and I were discussing on Instagram about Donald Trump's signature. We have both had it with that signature. We both agree that it looks like what Trump's EKG reading probably looks like. I think being a nurse, it looks like V tach, which means ventricular tachycardia. And it's real bad. It's like you're doing chest compressions if someone's got V tach. So I've had it. Grow up and sign your name with a pen.

[Jennifer Welch]

Like.

[Emily LaBeouf]

Like a grown up.

[Angie]

That's such a great point.

[Jennifer Welch]

I completely agree.

[Angie]

He signs his name with a Sharpie. Like he can't just use a pen. But you know what I'm going to say when I see his signature? I think somebody's overcompensating for something. They're making it way too big.

[Jennifer Welch]

Okay, here's. Let me tell you guys what this whole signature thing is. The other day, Pumps and I were sitting here waiting on Kylie to get our camera equipment ready. And we're sitting at this here very table, and we had paper and pens in front of us, and I wrote my signature, Jennifer Welch. And when you are in junior high and high school, you write your signature. You practice it all the time. You know, it's just like, it's something that at least we did because we didn't have cell phones, right?

[Angie]

And we had cursive.

[Jennifer Welch]

And so then Pumps takes it and she writes, Angie, what was the last name?

[Angie]

Clooney.

[Jennifer Welch]

Yeah, Angie Clooney. And then she said, did you ever do that where you practiced, like, who you were gonna marry? And then I wrote Jennifer for Obama. And then Pumps, you wrote somebody else. Beaver.

[Angie]

Chestnut.

[Jennifer Welch]

Chestnut.

[Angie]

Angie Chestnut.

[Jennifer Welch]

Angie Chestnut. And so the fact that he sits around and Beaver.

[Angie]

Angie Beaver here.

[Jennifer Welch]

That's what we have to start calling you now. Hi.

[Angie]

Welcome to I've had it. I'm Angie Beaver. What about.

[Jennifer Welch]

What about if you're Angie D. Beaver? Do you know what the D is for? Down.

[Angie]

Beaver.

[Jennifer Welch]

Try.

[Angie]

It's Meemaw. Ms. Curtin. Dry Beaver. Law.

[Jennifer Welch]

Angie D. Beaver.

[Angie]

Angie D. Beaver.

[Jennifer Welch]

Attorney at Law. Maga Slayer. America's top DEI podcaster Angela D. Beaver.

[Angie]

The dawning of a beaver.

[Jennifer Welch]

Oh, my God.

[Angie]

Oh, my God. He can tell we're middle school all over again.

[Jennifer Welch]

See, going back to talking about our signature again, it brings out our immaturity. But anyway, it reminds me when he does that, that that's what I used to do in junior high when I was a cheerleader. And we're heading to an away game, we'd sit because we had pen, we had pads and paper because we don't have cell phones. I'd practice my signature and, like, you know, put down, like, Jennifer Cruise for Tom Cruise. You know, these people I thought I was going to marry. And Donald Trump sits there and practices his. His signature. And then he holds it up and it's like, this is juvenile stuff. And I admit that we just engaged in a ton of juvenile behavior, but Angela D. Beaver made me do it.

[Angie]

And here's the deal. We're not the President.

[Jennifer Welch]

We're not the President of the United States. We're just America's top DEI podcasters.

[Angie]

That's expected.

[Jennifer Welch]

Yeah. All right, last one, Kylie.

[Kylie]

Okay. The last one is from Skyler.

[Skyler]

Ms. Welch, pumpity pumps are probably your social media manager because you're so famous now. I don't know if real people submit what they've had it with or where we can do that, but I just have to get this off my chest, because you know what I've had it with Walkers. Walkers with a cause or a purpose. Like, you see these people post on social media. I'm gonna walk from one end of Montana to the other other in the name of bias and awareness. Nobody cares. Me especially. Start walking. There's the door. No one's stopping you. Go for it. These people have nothing better to do, and they think they're doing something. I've just had it.

[Jennifer Welch]

Okay, here's what I'm going to say. This is he. He brings up a really good point. It's a nuance. Yeah, well, it's a nuanced grievance because, like, we should be walking, right? Like, cars were not in the cards for what our bodies were evolved to be. And so then we're taking things like drinking water and making it performative walking, which is the number one way that human beings would get from point A to point B, and we make it performative. And I agree with him. We're normalizing things that should just be foregone conclusions.

[Angie]

Right? The walking for bison got me, because you know where immediately my head went to your beaver. We're walking for Beavers. We're gonna have a beaver walk.

[Jennifer Welch]

Beavers for democracy. Beavers against Nazis.

[Angie]

How about could Angela D be for Angela democracy beaver.

[Jennifer Welch]

It can be, but I really like the dry.

[Angie]

Dry beaver.

[Jennifer Welch]

I just, I think that we could do beaver walk for democracy. Beaver trot the beaver. The beaver crawl against fascism. This is completely.

[Angie]

Yes, we're going to organize a beaver walk for democracy.

[Jennifer Welch]

Well, I'll tell you what, it's a better idea than I've heard out of democratic leadership lately preach. At least we have an idea.

[Angie]

At least we have an idea.

[Jennifer Welch]

We have a mascot.

[Angie]

We have a.

[Jennifer Welch]

The beaver. You know what? You could have the beaver. We could get a beaver. We could call one of those animal sanctuaries.

[Angie]

Okay. She tried to do this with an eagle and I was like, they're not gonna let us like rent an eagle.

[Jennifer Welch]

Well, like, we could. It's America. Still. I mean, there's. But, I mean, I just don't. I don't.

[Angie]

What about a beaver?

[Jennifer Welch]

That's what I just said.

[Angie]

No, I know, but I'm just wondering, like a beaver rescue. I don't know.

[Jennifer Welch]

Okay, so for those of you that want to leave voice memo to be featured on this here podcast, you go to Instagram and you record the voice memo into Instagram and then you DM it to I've had it podcast. And if you think you have a banger and it gets passed over, just keep resending it and putting it up to the top because we get a lot. And when Kylie and Seth go in there, they have to find them. But anyway, here's what you can do for us. Subscribe, Follow us. Join our substack. Join our Patreon. Get a beaver and pumps.

[Angie]

Tell them we will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. I'll tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with that.

[Jennifer Welch]

Listen up patriots, gaytriots and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called Ihip News News. It's Monday through Friday. Every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America. Always served with a side of petty grievances.

[Angie]

We are on all the available platforms. Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcast and YouTube.

[Jennifer Welch]

Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal pumps. Pumps. What does an eagle say?

[Angie]

Caca.

[Jennifer Welch]

A little bit more enthusiasm.

[Angie]

Caca.

[Jennifer Welch]

That's it.

[Angie]

That's.

[Jennifer Welch]

That's, that's the patriotism that this country needs right there.

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