Cankles-in-Chief

Summary

I've Had It — Episode: "Cankles-in-Chief"

Hosts: Jennifer Welch & Angie “Pumps” Sullivan
Date: August 26, 2025
Description: Jennifer and Angie dish out sharp, comedic takes on the petty grievances and overlooked annoyances they—and their listeners—have absolutely HAD IT with. This episode covers everything from household etiquette failures to insidious American cultural norms, calls from fired-up listeners, and stories of personal and political transformation.

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Episode Overview

The main theme centers around the everyday frustrations—from minor household slights (toilet paper crimes) to national-scale aggravations (political hypocrisy, forced religiosity)—with an undercurrent of humor and candid discussion about personal growth, politics, gender norms, and the struggle to break from oppressive upbringings. The episode features guest Kylie, listener calls, and plenty of witty banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Toilet Paper Etiquette & Household Grievances

• Angie's Pet Peeve: Entitlement of people who use the last of the toilet paper and don't replace it.
  • "How can you sit there and not give a shit about the person that sits down next?" — Angie (03:07)
• Jennifer’s Bathroom Etiquette: She always fixes toilet paper orientation (“over”, not “under”) and flags low rolls for hosts.
  • "If you want to take it off the roller that's your business...put it back where you found it, Josh, motherfucker." — Jennifer (04:36)

2. Tennis Tantrums & Athletic Humility

• Jennifer shares her ongoing losing streak in tennis against Jeff, her pro instructor, and the agony of repeated match point losses.
  • “I am in a slump. I am hitting the net, I am hitting them out, I am hitting the back wall. It makes me so fucking mad.” — Jennifer (05:25)
  • “I always say to Jeff like when he's trolling me I'll scream at the tennis center at the top of my lungs: ‘Nobody likes Jeff! I interviewed everybody in this entire tennis club...’” — Jennifer (07:51)
• Tone: Self-deprecating, competitive, relatable frustration.

3. Political Anger & Cankles McTaco Tits

• Jennifer ties her tennis slump and general malaise to current political leadership, using a code name for Trump ("cankles mctaco tits") as a cathartic scapegoat.
  • “I'm blaming the aforementioned cankles mctaco tits for fucking with my tennis…” — Jennifer (08:43)
• The hosts vent about the Trump era’s impact on rights, social climate, and even personal moods.

4. Listener Reviews: MAGA Accusations, Personal Evolution & Political Exits

• Angie is roasted in a “one-star” review that accuses her of being MAGA based on superficial traits (texts while driving, Walmart shopping, Stanley cup, etc.).
  • “I mean you know...she used to be this—you used to be, not necessarily MAGA…” — Jennifer (13:05)
• Angie’s Backstory: Raised a Republican in a hardcore MAGA family, she candidly discusses her journey away from that environment.
  • “I come from hardcore MAGA...my lineage. Now, not my age group. My brother is, but because he's mister gunboy…” — Angie (14:38)
• Transformation Story: Jennifer describes Angie’s deprogramming from conservative, religious upbringing to a more critical, empathetic perspective, particularly after wearing a BLM mask at a conservative Christian school.
  • “I could not overstate how dramatic it is. I cannot. She used to think people were nine hundred for real, didn't you?” — Jennifer (23:00)
• Authentic celebration of breaking free from generational cycles.

5. Organizational Culture & Religious Indoctrination

• Listeners call in with grievances, including forced team training for individual mistakes (Kathy, the nurse).
  • “If you send me that email and it doesn't say ‘Dear Kathy, you fucked up’, I'm deleting it!” — Kathy (41:44)
• The roots and repercussions of religious indoctrination, particularly in the South/Midwest, are explored.
  • “Bible study...what a boring way to spend an hour or two, you know, going over Iron Age morality where the first four of the ten commandments are about god’s ego…” — Jennifer (26:09)

6. Viral Internet Stories and Viral Quitting

• Jennifer reports on a TikTok influencer who went viral after being the “biohazard patient zero” in a plane bathroom disaster.
  • Props to the influencer for honesty and self-deprecation.
• Kylie plays a viral clip of a Walmart employee (Beth) quitting over the store intercom, calling out specific managers and exposing workplace issues (“Jared, our store manager, you’re a pervert!”).
  • “That is the energy that we need. She’s woke AF, fighting for the marginalized, standing up to Walmart. I love this woman so much.” — Jennifer (33:13)

7. Patriarchy, Bows, and Gender Roles

• Caller Carrie (with an Irish accent) rails against giant bows on baby girls’ heads—questioning the societal need to mark and feminize infants.
  • “It’s borderline child abuse...the equivalent would be sticking false mustaches on baby boys.” — Carrie (51:42)
• Jennifer and Angie dig into how the bow phenomenon ties into patriarchal systems that reward girls for helplessness and remind them subconsciously of their inferiority.
  • “There is a part of the whole patriarchal culture...to project this princess syndrome on girls. If you play dumb, you get extra praise…” — Jennifer (52:00)

8. Calls & Community

• Several passionate, witty, and relatable listener calls punctuate the show, covering:
  • The hypocrisy of anti-gay activists (Kim Davis discussion—Fran, 35:45)
  • Frustrations with religious phrases that persist even in secular circles (“Bless you!” debate—Tve, 45:58)
  • The need for “in good we trust” instead of “in God we trust” (46:56)
• Hosts celebrate the “upper echelon” quality of the calls and encourage connection and solidarity with listeners breaking away from old systems.

9. Book Announcement & Ongoing Message

• The hosts plug their new book, Life Is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches, and invite listeners to share photos reading it in fun places. The book centers on their personal stories of growth, struggle, and breaking away from oppressive environments.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Household Etiquette & Entitlement:
  • "Instead of replacing it back on the holder he'll just put it on the ground or...on top [of the holder]. These are the things that can really ruin marriages." — Jennifer (03:23)
• Tennis Frustration:
  • "You fall in love...then you start going to the disappointment stage right of relationships and this has been a very disappointing component [toilet paper]." — Jennifer (03:23)
  • "Nobody likes Jeff! I interviewed everybody in this entire tennis club and not one single person likes Jeff." — Jennifer (07:51)
• Political Frustration:
  • “We have to talk about this fat fascist fuck who’s ruining everything for everybody…” — Jennifer (08:43)
• Evolution out of MAGA Culture:
  • "I was all up in that mega church Bible study shit and, you know, I voted Republican because my dad and my husband told me to. But this does not seem like a party that's for women." — Angie (16:06 paraphrased)
  • “I remember going [to the gym]...and she has this Black Lives Matter mask, COVID mask, on—in front of all these white, crusty racists...Not only had you broken away from all of them—you were breaking away and rubbing it in their faces.” — Jennifer (17:05)
• On Workplace Apathy:
  • "If you send me that email and it doesn't say, 'Dear Kathy, you fucked up,' I'm deleting it, I'm not looking at it!" — Kathy (41:44)
• Patriarchal Gender Norms:
  • "It's so stupid...borderline child abuse...It's a pathological need to declare your baby's gender—it's 2025, get over it!" — Carrie (51:42)
  • “There is a part of the whole patriarchal culture...to project this princess syndrome on girls." — Jennifer (52:00)

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Important Timestamps

• Toilet Paper Etiquette: 01:45 – 04:36
• Jennifer’s Tennis Woes: 04:36 – 08:21
• Political Rant (Cankles McTaco Tits): 08:43 – 09:33
• MAGA Accusation & Angie’s Evolution: 12:25 – 19:04
• Viral Plane Bathroom Incident: 30:21 – 32:14
• Walmart Loudspeaker Quit (Beth): 32:31 – 33:12
• Listener Call: Kim Davis Hypocrisy: 35:45 – 38:32
• Listener Call: Workplace Mass Emails (Kathy): 40:22 – 42:09
• Religious Indoctrination / “Bless You” Debate: 45:58 – 48:00
• Giant Bows on Baby Girls (Carrie): 50:37 – 53:37
• Book Plug: Life Is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches: 56:10 – 57:12

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Overall Tone

• Candid, irreverent, and fiercely honest
• Self-deprecating humor
• Warm camaraderie and mutual support
• Advocacy for personal growth and breaking free from oppressive environments
• Comedic and cathartic, inviting listeners into the community

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Summary

Episode "Cankles-in-Chief" masterfully blends everyday irritation with biting political and cultural commentary. Jennifer and Angie (plus Kylie and fiery callers) commiserate about toilet paper etiquette, tennis failures, and the endless parade of petty annoyances. The wound of enduring a regressive political climate—embodied in their code-name for Trump—runs through the conversation, affecting everything right down to personal moods. Listener calls highlight larger cultural grievances, from hypocritical Christian activists to the gendering of newborns via giant bows, with hosts celebrating courage, honesty, and the messy process of breaking generational scripts. Their stories and sharp banter remind listeners they're not alone if they're struggling with their own “shit sandwiches.”

Transcript

[Narrator]

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[Jennifer]

This episode of i've had it is brought to you by booking dot com booking yeah every time i use booking dot com to find a place to stay in the us i know they'll have exactly what i'm looking for they have a huge variety of options from hotels to vacation rentals and i'm always able to find something that fits my specific needs i found that booking dot com has something for everyone for find exactly what you're booking for on booking dot com booking yeah so are we supposed to start the podcast ready one two three patriots gay triats they trio black trio brown trio welcome to america's top dei podcast pumps what have you had it with okay what i've.

[Angie]

Had it with is people's entitlement across the board specifically in this instance i am talking about the person that is so entitled that they sit down to pee or poop they take the very last bit of the toilet paper they do not restock to me that is the height of entitlement so you don't think about the person coming after you that's going to sit down and not realize there was no toilet paper until it's too late and because my children have been home this summer that has happened to me on more than one.

[Jennifer]

Occasion that's the worst that is the absolute worst i've been known to if i'm in a bathroom that is not my own like if i was in your powder bathroom and i noticed that the toilet paper was even under oh for sure instead of over because i think toilet paper should roll over i go ahead and just take the initiative and switch it myself i do too everywhere i go as a good guest and as a good bathroom visitor i take the initiative to do that now if you were running even low i'm talking maybe you know minus twenty squares i would go ahead and flag it to the hostess that's i need to flag an issue in the powder bathroom we're minus twenty squares on that roll would you like for me to go ahead and replace it or would you like for me to put a backup in there for the next user and this is a problem that's happening all across the country yeah it happens all.

[Angie]

The time and i'm just always like how can you sit there like i'm so serious about it how can you sit there and not give a shit about the person that sits down next i mean i don't know is it entitlement is it assholery i don't know what it is but i don't like.

[Jennifer]

It and i've had it i'm one hundred percent with you on this i don't like it i have to tell you and the listener what my husband does he likes to take the toilet paper off of the holder i've seen him do this and then he likes to have it so he can like it's like a two handed wrap thing and then instead of replacing it back on the holder he'll just put it on the ground or he puts it like our toilet paper holders have a little ledge on them at the top or you can put a cell phone or candle he'll put it on top of that instead of putting it back on the holder and i mean these were the things that like these are the things that can really ruin marriages yeah you know you fall in love and then it's great and then you start going to the disappointment stage right of of relationships and this has been a very disappointing component despite the five rehab stints this was i'd say top three toilet paper etiquette i mean we have like you know strung out on pills and then toilet paper etiquette and this is just i mean it's right.

[Angie]

Up there yeah and he doesn't he's done that at my house because i've walked into my bathroom after he's been there and i'm like what's the deal with the toilet paper being on the.

[Jennifer]

Floor it's just put it over the finish line if you want to take it off the roller that's your business nobody gives a shit right put it back where you found it josh mother fucker oh my god okay let me tell everybody what i've had it with so everybody knows that i play tennis every single day and it is a way for me to get cardio get exercise and be the athlete that i want to be and so i train every day with about five days a week with a guy named jeff and jeff and i play five sets to ten okay so we play five different sets okay got it got it and jeff obviously being the pro is a lot better than me and he gets it to where you know if i lose it's because of unforced errors that i've made okay where i have made errors and i have not beaten jeff in our five set i would say in a month and we have had fifth set super set tie breaks where you have to win by two i would say probably the last six times that we've played i have had thirty match points oh no thirty that he's teed up for me i would like to say that i earned but i mean i earned to get to the match point with an assist i can't take it over the finish line i am in a slump i am hitting the net i am hitting them out i am hitting the back wall it makes me so fucking mad you know when you see tennis players take their rackets and just bang em bang em bang them bang em bang them on the concret you think god they're really losing it i get it because i want to take my racket and mind you jeff is a helper here right but i'm angry at him you're mad at him for me for my shortcomings for my athletic shortcomings i want to take my racket and just beat the ever living out of jeff but i will tell you jeff's smug sometimes like he'll announce to everybody when he's up like five zero he'll go i'm up five zero let's go jefe well since you control the out of me yeah.

[Angie]

Does he talk on you on these.

[Jennifer]

Match points yes well actually yesterday's match point that i lost he knew right he knew you would usually he he'll like he does a fist bump bounce up to god thing on me and he like you know calls for the fans and i'm just like god i hate jeff and yesterday he knew because i walked to the net and he goes you had like four match points jennifer i mean it should have been over and i'm like do you want a lemon and some salt to sprinkle on my wounds jefe is that what we want to do here you know of course he busts that laughing he's actually kind of compassionate but i always say to jeff like when he's trolling me i'll scream at the tennis center at the top of my lungs nobody likes jeff i interviewed everybody in this entire tennis club and not one single person likes jeff everybody hates jeff actually he's so much fun and i love the therapy plus exercise that i get from tennis but i'm telling you i'm in a slump i mean it's and then you know the us open is on its way and you know i'm going to go to that and when i watch them play i think god yeah that's me it's so not i'm so close i'm not even remotely i'm not even remotely close i'm going through a very humbling time in my tennis.

[Angie]

Career you know what i've noticed about your post tennis aura yeah what is it if it's a win it's a big win you played great it is unicorns and rainbows i'm a better person hearts coming straight out of your ass.

[Jennifer]

One hundred percent but i can tell.

[Angie]

When you walk in immediately just by the facial expression and it's just your.

[Jennifer]

Daubers in the dirt i'm in a slump i mean to have like cankles mctaco tits as the president and then all of this training and working that i've been doing and i've had five hundred match points that i can't take over the finish line i'm blaming the aforementioned kankles mctaco tits for fucking with my tennis because we should be on here talking about petty grievances right and instead we have to talk about this fat fascist fuck who's ruining everything for everybody even his own supporters unless like the zero one percent those are the only people but even they have to go humiliate themselves in the oval office doing show and tell trophy presentations who's.

[Angie]

Winning here the only person that's winning is trump and melania is not winning.

[Jennifer]

She still has to fuck him and you know he can't get it up.

[Angie]

I was going to say i have told i've explained by the look of those cankles there's zero chance his dick is getting blood it's just zero chance so she no one's more thrilled with his diagnosis than melania yeah all right.

[Jennifer]

Anyway pumps is correct so if i've seemed cranky the last few episodes it's not you listener it's the tennis and the failed attempt to score on match point to take jeff down but you know what i have another match today so we'll see if i'll keep you guys posted welcome to i've had it i'm jennifer a failed tennis player i'm.

[Angie]

Angie the hbic and that stands for.

[Jennifer]

Beaver yeah all right kylie jen if.

[Kylie]

I may i just don't think one person can be great at everything okay and i think you just had to have one flaw i just threw up.

[Angie]

In my mouth the suck up is so gross just for the record if.

[Jennifer]

You talk to fox news and maga god they think i have a lot of flaws okay the stuff consider the.

[Angie]

Source would be what i would think.

[Jennifer]

I do i do i would like to take my tennis racket just to the parking lot of fox news and just be a complete unhinged nut you.

[Angie]

You you you that's what i told my neighbor about the guy that's not returning my call about my gate clickers i said here's the deal i'm going to be the crazy liberal and i'm going to go into that homeowners meeting and i'm going to start turning tables over i'm going to start throwing shit i'm going to start ripping my clothes off and they're all going to say yeah you know she's a liberal that's.

[Jennifer]

What happens let me ask you this are you going to go to the.

[Angie]

Homeowners meeting well when the next time i see a sign i'm going to go because i have like a whole folder of the times i've called emailed yeah oh my god we could do a twofer you could get on the side of a table i could get.

[Jennifer]

On no i just want to be the cinematographer yeah throwing a fit i just i want to get like i want to get you going karen yeah.

[Angie]

I'M going to like raise my hand and i'm going to be like on this day this day i'm going to pull full like i'm being ignored i think it's discrimination because i'm a woman i think it's discrimination because i'm a liberal i think it's discrimination because i don't know i'll think of something i'm just going to be a fucking nut and so my neighbor who knows the homeowner person that's ignoring me he's gonna tell him he's he's trying to make that be avoided that scene but i'm kind of honestly i kind of want.

[Jennifer]

To do it i kind of want.

[Angie]

To i just want to go fucking.

[Jennifer]

Crazy just stir it up out in.

[Angie]

The suburbs yeah i mean i'm start i'm gonna take a whole thing of like bananas and start throwing them okay.

[Jennifer]

All right kylie what's next i have.

[Kylie]

A perfect review to bring up now okay it's one star and it's titled pumps is maga from julie and she says we need to address the elephant in the room here there's an overwhelming amount of evidence pointing towards pumps being maga and it needs to be called out she texts and drives she's a bad pet owner she shops at walmart she's rude to flight attendants and of course she owns a stanley cup i don't know jessica our centris queen can i don't know how jessica our centris queen can stand to be around all of her maga energy all the time what does she have to say for.

[Angie]

Herself that is fantastic i love that i hate that it was a one star but she had to get it on so i i'm all in on.

[Jennifer]

It yeah i mean you know here's the thing here's the thing about punch you guys she used to be this you used to be not necessarily maga.

[Angie]

But i was a registered republican forever and i even when i voted democrat i i didn't change my deal until like.

[Jennifer]

When she says deal she means.

[Angie]

Voter registration yeah like a year ago.

[Jennifer]

Or two years ago real id i remember when trump first won i called angie and i was freaking out like freaking out she poo pooed me dismissed me thought it was no big deal at all oh you'll get over it.

[Angie]

That'S ridiculous see i hadn't paid any attention though i didn't i was completely disjointed it wasn't until all the crazy tweets that i got interested yeah honest.

[Jennifer]

To god and then i turned her on to midas touch yes and i was like hey i'm following these guys on instagram midas touch and this is probably around like maybe the end of twenty nineteen beginning of twenty twenty somewhere in there before we knew them before we even thought about having the podcast and i said you need to check out their channel and so she then she starts freebasing it and then of course as you know ben miselis became her algorithm boyfri but but yeah sometimes here's the thing sometimes maybe there's some maga residue from the upbringing here's the.

[Angie]

Deal i was never maga obviously because i was out of that before you.

[Jennifer]

Were a george w busher i remember.

[Angie]

That i voted for him once i.

[Jennifer]

Know that i remember that but i.

[Angie]

Just want to tell you like i i come from hardcore maga like they have graciously stopped fox news when i walked through the door but it is maga central my lineage now not my age group like my whatever is it generation or whatever we're we're not maga.

[Jennifer]

Your brother is well yeah my brother.

[Angie]

Is yeah but because he's mister gunboy he has more guns than half the.

[Jennifer]

Universe which is hilarious too but because he lives at home as a grown adult and that's always the big rub from conservatives that liberals live at home but i will say this is what i think you're poor your story is so important and so helpful because you were in the death star you were raised and a script was written for you your autonomy and your agency was removed from you and you dutifully went along with that script as a good daughter as a good little christian girl and voted the way your parents wanted you to vote went to the schools your parents wanted you to go to there was a little bit of rebellion when you wanted to go to law school can you imagine her parents didn't want her to go to law school.

[Angie]

My mom wanted me to be a teacher because that is a good helping.

[Jennifer]

Career and but i think your story is so important because i think it's happening to hundreds of thousands of american women across the country right now i think you being a for people to be able to see i was all up in that mega church bible study shit and you know i voted republican because my dad and my husband told me to but this is not this does not seem like a party that's for women you start critically thinking i think your story is one of the most helpful stories online right now because when she says her family is maga you guys i'm talking how many guns are in their house hundreds now that.

[Angie]

My brother moved in i i can't even tell you i would say at.

[Jennifer]

Least twenty five minimum i mean i'm just telling you guys it is it is as hardcore maggot as you can.

[Angie]

My mother wore eighty her covid mask said trump twenty twenty.

[Jennifer]

But here's what here's what i love about pumps you guys pumps covid mask was blm black lives matter and when she started deprogramming herself i remember her kids went to this crazy ass christian school anti gay hate academy and she they were in it when she realized oh fuck what have i done they already had their friends but my son was playing her son in basketball and so we decided we were gonna meet at the gym to watch our sons play each other and so she'd always been my republican you know mega church christian friend and i noticed that she's like she's watching midas touch and all this stuff so i go to meet her at the gym and she has this black lives matter mask covid mask on in front of all these white crusty racists and i know for a fact fact two parents on your son's basketball team i've heard them say horrific racist shit horrific so very very white supremacist school and god i fucking love pumps she had on a black lives matter mask and i you could have blown me over with a feather at the evolution of her and i remember going pumps where did you get your blm mask she was like oh i ordered it and i go i love that you're wearing it up here at the crossings christian school and she was like o yeah me too and i was like not only is she getting deprogrammed and radicalized she's getting savage and i am sad for it that was one of my.

[Angie]

Proudest moments of you it's so unexpected.

[Jennifer]

I was i just couldn't believe it because not only had you kind of like broken away from all of them but you were breaking away and rubbing it in their faces and i was just like damn go girl get you some i loved it i mean i just i loved it i just i loved it i still love it well thank you i do it was fantastic.

[Angie]

I do have to say this super quick when you talk about the ben mysa list and the midas touch i just have to say for the permanent record those are the loveliest like when we hit a million on youtube i was out of town didn't know it they were the first people to text us and congratulate her congratulate us and i just really want to say how giving and how much i appreciate them and i just think it's so important.

[Jennifer]

They are the nicest people in podcasting yeah whenever we have needed help or whenever we have had a question whenever we she's a lawyer i'm an interior designer we don't know what the hell we're doing they do and anytime we are like hey how should we do this on youtube how should we do that you send them a text and you get a response immediately and the next thing you know you're on the phone with them right they get nothing from it that's how much they care about growing independent media that's beholden to no one and i concur with pumps that they are phenomenal phenomenal five stars yeah all right kylie next review okay.

[Kylie]

The next one is five stars titled thank you and it says i needed this as a gay therapist who has to show up unbiased to all of those biased pink armed cracker barrel patrons this podcast is giving me life i.

[Angie]

Love that that's interesting about the gay therapist because emily is in school to be a therapist and they had to say what are their biases and she was like my bias like you have to work out your bias you can't be biased as a therapist you have to you know have everybody and you know she stood up in her class and everybody i don't know if she stood up whatever but they said you know what's your bias and she goes i have a huge bias about people that voted for trump i can't understand why somebody would do that and i have a huge bias about that so that's what she's working on with her advisor different things like that you guys.

[Jennifer]

This is just another props that i have to give to pumps knowing her for twenty five years and the evolution of you politically and the trickle down to your children is so fabulous because emily is her daughter and she is so compassionate towards lgbtq people towards minorities she's incredibly empathetic i think she's going to make an incredible therapist but i mean six years ago y' all thought i was a crazy person i remember you both of you rolling your eyes at me in the house that you live in right now because emily looked at me and said i mean you can just look at a monkey and tell we didn't evolve from them and i was like i can actually look at them and tell we one hundred percent evolved from them y' all both looked at me rolled your eyes like the atheist crazy liberal jennifer rolled your eyes and stomped off and i remember dylan was with me and we were but my son and we're both kind of like what's up over there what's up with them so i mean the evolution into critical thinking and enlightenment and it it's so fabulous pumps it's just you should get all the props in the world because when you live in suburban oklahoma city it's very white it's very christian it's very republican and if you're not that people treat you with disdain and the fact that you have found your own self and that you're writing your own script right now and that your children and you are having conversations that aren't binary and black and white and that are grayer and more reflective of the human experience i love it for you i love it for emily salmon luke i just love it i do it's beautiful well thank you it really is it's really really beautiful i mean i've been with her for so long that the evolution you guys i cannot overstate how dramatic it is i cannot she used to think people were nine hundred for real didn't you.

[Angie]

I did i did okay i did.

[Jennifer]

I did all right kylie did you think people were nine hundred you were.

[Kylie]

Raised in a megachurch no i don't even remember learning that or processing that.

[Jennifer]

Really she was a better bible study.

[Angie]

Student than you were kylie i think she had a i taught bible study bitch not just better okay wait when.

[Jennifer]

You say you taught bible study well i was like at a house i.

[Angie]

Was the leader so tell us of.

[Jennifer]

A small group here's our book life is a lazy susan of shit sandwiches like what would you say if you started the bible study like i kylie and i arrive at bible study what.

[Angie]

Well okay as a shock to no one as i held this book up it was all scripted like they told you the talking points and all that stuff to stay say and then they had questions like the church no it's like a whole other thing but you did it you did it at church but the church was not part of the deal it was a whole different.

[Jennifer]

Thing so they sent you a script.

[Angie]

I mean not like a script but you had a workbook you know like a workbook tearouts that they do but so you got it every week and you studied what the workbook said and answered the questions that the workbook pages had out of the bible so it wasn't like i was like reading interpreting and here's my point of view it was like stick to the script kind.

[Jennifer]

Of thing gotcha you know i'm just going to say this objectively like it's amazing the staying power that the bible has had it's really not even that great of a read i remember my high school boyfriend my first high school boyfriend his mother was just worried sick that i wasn't saved so she bought me this precious moments bible and i remember i started reading it at the beginning my mother was horrified right and i remember i got like a couple pages in and i was like this is snooze i mean this is boring you know so then i kind of like flipped to the middle it's boring the really juicy stuff is like the you know leviticus where they're talking about stallions and releasing your seed and all of that you know that that's kind of juicy there's some juicy stuff in.

[Angie]

There a lot of up sex in.

[Jennifer]

The bible yeah there's that guy there's a guy in the bible i don't know his name y' all you might know i probably down okay he's an old guy and his daughters get him all liquored up yeah and then his daughters rape him to have a baby or something i believe he yeah his daughter slipping a mickey and rape him that's in the bible yeah no i.

[Angie]

Remember reading that story maybe it was abraham i don't know to be fair i never looked at the bible not once until i was grown and had kids and went to the bible study like i went to church okay so.

[Jennifer]

Let me get this you hadn't read the bible at all and then you jumped to being a teacher well no.

[Angie]

I went as a stu as a.

[Jennifer]

Student what you did do you have to do training to be a bible.

[Angie]

Study instructor i don't think you did i don't remember that i know i had a special class i went to but that was just in preparation for.

[Jennifer]

The next you know when you live in the south you hear women a lot of times that that i kind of that are acquaintances and i'll bump into it like target or somewhere the grocery store and i'll be like hey how are you oh great i just finished bible study and i it's a thing i always think like god what a boring way to spend an hour or two you know going over iron age morality where the first four of the ten commandments are about god's ego like i just feel like we've advanced so far beyond that like i'd much rather read freud or some new study about you know how the impacts of social media on our species i just think there's such a better use of.

[Angie]

Time yeah no i just i just remember my mom said i'm going to come over and watch sam on tuesday morning so you can go to bible study i was like okay great it.

[Jennifer]

Was just so she decided it for.

[Angie]

You yeah that's a shock to know when.

[Jennifer]

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[Angie]

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[Jennifer]

Okay let's move along i have some alarming news tick tocker severe diarrhea on united flight leads to hazmat cleanup and flight cancellation tick tocker megan reinerston an actress and nanny experienced extreme diarrhea and vomiting which she attributed to an undercooked burger consumed in portugal she remained in the aircraft lavatory for an extended period even during landing with crew assistance the severity of the situation necessitated a full hazmat team to clean the aircraft resulting in the cancellation of the subsequent flight reinerston publicly apologized to passengers whose travel plans were disrupted describing herself as a quote biohazard patient zero in her tiktok.

[Angie]

Videos okay here's the thing on that i would no more want my name out there with that like i would want to fly that shit under the radar i mean ever since the delta shitter before i fly i'm always thinking am i going to be the delta like it's like that so now this is going to be in my head i would i would have hid my face i would have put my purse over my face and wrapped it around my neck so no one wouldn't know my face so i kind of there's a part of me that gives her props for just saying it was me i'm sorry it happened my bad i.

[Jennifer]

Mean i i think she's probably of the generation where they live their lives kind of online and i give her props too that she just kind of like she made it go viral yeah and i read further in this article that united airlines confirmed that it was true she's not doing this to get clicks like it genuinely happened it was genuinely her and then she laughed at herself so i think that part of it is kind of refreshing i mean she can't help it that she had food poisoning that's what i was going.

[Angie]

To say like if you're in a situation like that you just can't you can't help it i mean you're in there during landing it must be bad.

[Jennifer]

Okay next up i want kylie to play a walmart worker quit her job over the store intercom play it the.

[Beth]

Managers this company this position and that big lazy chris price i quit a.

[Jennifer]

Louisiana walmart employee by the name of beth mcgrath decided to quit and she.

[Beth]

Did it over the loudspeaker attention walmart shoppers and associates my name is beth from electronics i've been working at walmart for almost five years and i can say that everyone here is overworked and underpaid and customers poorly every day whenever we have a problem with it we're told that we're replaceable i'm tired of the constant gaslighting this company treats the their elderly associates like to jared our store manager you're a pervert.

[Jennifer]

I love her i love her that is that is like she has had it she has had it jared is a pervert and at the same time how she's advocating walmart sucks yeah they treat their employees like especially the elderly ones jared's a perv and i have fucking had it fuck this place i'm tired of y' all gaslighting me i think this woman deserves a profile and courage i'd hire her on the spot to work at i've had it podcast that is the energy that we need she's woke af fighting for the marginalized standing up to walmart i love this woman so much i do too jared the pervert.

[Angie]

I mean i was all in before.

[Jennifer]

Kylie what do you think about that while pumps pulls herself together i love.

[Kylie]

Her my first job was at walmart and that place does suck yeah and.

[Jennifer]

Here'S the thing listener about walmart is they they pay their employees total and then their employees are on like food stamps or some sort of supplemental income and then everybody browbeats them and they work at fucking walmart and for forty hours a week walmart won't pay them well but we subsidize your taxpayer money subsidizes walmart walmart is a welfare corporation because they don't pay their people enough so they have to get food stamps housing subsidies something like that instead of walmart and like they're so rich there's like i don't know four or five heirs that like when they do the list of the richest americans they all have their own separate line like in the top twenty right so if you put them all together as one big family they're like the richest but there's so many heirs to it that they're individually that rich and they they don't pay people well and they're hiring pervy.

[Angie]

Jared you had see i just got.

[Jennifer]

I know i couldn't help it pumps jared that pervert he's a per she's.

[Angie]

Had it that's going to be me at the homeowners.

[Jennifer]

And he's a maggot and the guy that controls the gate clickers is a pervert maga cankles mctaco tits and i'm gonna stand up right next to you and go yeah get him all right kylie do we have.

[Kylie]

Callers we do have callers okay up first i'm gonna play one from fran.

[Fran]

I don't want to give her any more attention than she's already getting but i've had it with kim davis okay who does this think she is to try to cancel out gay marriage and she's been married four times to three different men how the do you marry the same man twice number one that's dumb in itself why didn't it work out the first time and why did you marry him again that's just stupid and also growing up in kentucky in the bible belt i don't want to hear about the sanctity of marriage from these hypocritical ass fake christians because i know y' all are out here whoring around on your husbands and wives because i've seen it i know people who have done it and i don't care to spill names if they slide in my dms but anyway i also like i know they're mad because these openly out and proud gays are openly out and proud while these fake ass hypocrites are hiding out in their closet watching gay porn behind their wives backs so you know who does she think she is fuck you kim davis i love.

[Angie]

This woman that was perfect it was.

[Jennifer]

I couldn't have said it any better myself no and the biggest message of this listener is as loud and as obnoxious as maga is this caller from kentucky pumps me and every single one of you out there listening we all know there are way more of us that are not judgmental not total hypocrites don't give a fuck you marry who you want to right but we and we all know the kim davis is.

[Angie]

Of the world always and here's the.

[Jennifer]

Thing she looks like my mom always called them bun heads you know the pits my mom called them well my mother called pentecostals bun heads that wore the skirt that went below the knee and then they had the long hair that they could never cut that they kind of pulled back yeah she has that bun head affect for sure and so i'm wondering about like is there a reach around with or some way to skirt i would think that that's a pretty rigorous religion that divorce and stuff would be frowned upon see that.

[Angie]

Was my first question when i saw her picture after like so kim has had four husbands and i haven't been laid in seven hundred fifty fifty thousand days like that's that's not good on me but i mean i was just like she's pentecostal how does she have four divorces or three divorces four husbands she had kids she had a baby by husband number whatever three maybe while she was married to husband number one like this woman is she is not scared to fuck around with these men.

[Jennifer]

And think about how tragic this will be if her case makes it to the supreme court and the supreme court those six justices are so depressed.

[Angie]

To it he'll be like oh my god getting rid of gay marriage who that.

[Jennifer]

They will deny so many people their rights to equality and to marriage for that woman that just walking bun head hypocrite it's just so fucked up and the fact that so many on the supreme court were minority appointments right meaning like you know the bush didn't win the popular vote and he appointed i think alito trump one point zero didn't win the popular vote and he appointed you know two or three of those people and it's just and they make these decisions that have such great impact on human rights and equality it's really really daunting it's really sad for that just like the color said that hypocritical and everybody knows all these loud mega church people are so full of shit and they're such hypocrites and if they their their own personal lives aren't as deranged as kim davis's their fellow church members they know that their fellow church members are just as deranged and they look the other way and they allow and they're like well they're you know they they ask god for forgiveness and so so it's fine now i'm gonna i'm gonna forgive too yep come to angie's bible study we'll talk about it there with all the nine hundred year old attendees.

[Angie]

And jared is a perf.

[Jennifer]

Jared'S coming he's seven hundred fifty.

[Kylie]

Okay up next we've got kathy hi jen.

[Kathy]

Hi hbic hi what's your name this week katie and your bitch seth my name's kathy and i am i work in the healthcare industry i'm a nurse my god please don't tell josh do not give him my contact information i am not about being his fucking concierge nurse so i get enough hey so you're a nurse messages anyway so here's my here's my i fucking had it i have fucking had it with blanket emails from management look god damn it if i have fucked up and i have been giving iv push insulin instead of subcutaneous insulin and people are falling down right and left dead as a fucking doorknob that's a saying here in the south dead as a fucking doorknob then yes i want you to come to me and say hey kathy you really screwed the pooch on this one people are dying because you don't know what the fuck you're doing i need you to either get your shit together or get the fuck out that's what i need you to do okay what i don't need you to do is send an email to the whole team that says we're gonna have some mandatory education because we've had some incidences we've got some opportunities that's what they call them now we don't call them problems anymore we call them opportunities we've got some opportunities for some education in medication administration do this mandatory education by said date or you know there will be repercussions i fucking had it with blanket emails because i'm telling you if you send me that email and it doesn't say dear kathy you up i'm deleting it i'm not looking at it i'm assuming i am not the problem so if i'm the problem you need to come to me and tell me i am the problem i love you ladies as a blue dot in a very red county in purple north carolina i love you thank you so much you.

[Angie]

Guys have a lovely day fucking love her yeah i love her and it's so true it's like i don't need to be abreast of everybody's things but i think this goes back to we have to lift everybody up all the time there's no such thing as constructive criticism in the workplace we have a problem with how this is going instead of saying that we have an opportunity to learn i'm just like shut the fuck up go to the person that did it and say hey da da da da if you have a couple people doing it single them out like not everybody needs to go do all.

[Jennifer]

This shit i agree and i just think that if somebody screws up the best path is you screwed this up here's what you did let's move past it please fix it and maybe it's not pretty and maybe the person feels a jolt of adrenaline but welcome to adulthood right that's i mean it's just and there's nothing worse than circle jerk emails oh my gosh nothing i mean just i don't know the email what circle jerk zoom calls oh my god.

[Angie]

Oh my god those are worse i'd rather have a circle jerk email.

[Jennifer]

Pumps and i need to share with everybody that we have written a book it's called life is a lazy susan of shit sandwiches and believe it or not pumps and i have not always been so rock solid and we talk about all of our trials tribulations most of all our ups yes because fuck ups are relatable and a part of the human experience i have gotten so much.

[Angie]

Feedback regarding the book that because of my situation with the religion and addiction and all that that people relate to that so i do think there's something to take away that's comforting about it because we've all been in very difficult.

[Jennifer]

Situations and listener what we want you to do this is the it book for summer reading so please get your copy of life is a lazy susan of shit sandwiches and take a picture of yourself with the book in really great places and tag at i've had it podcast and we will share your images with our summer it book you can buy it in bookstores you can buy it in the link in our bio you can buy it at target walmart amazon etc all the retailers happy reading and happy summer.

[Angie]

As my children are growing older they're becoming more susceptible to fragrance in the products they use on their skin and that is why i have been now diving in to what are the chemicals in the products that i use and i am finding that so many chemicals are in there that are unnecessary i was shocked that my laundry detergent is one of the worst culprits so i switched to earth breeze their detergent sheets are free from harsh chemicals like dyes parabens phosphates and preservatives and they're way easier to use no heavy plastic jugs no mess just a pre measured sheet that dissolves in seconds i feel so much better knowing i'm not exposing myself and my kids to those unnecessary toxin and my laundry still comes out fresh and clean if you want a gentler clean without harsh chemicals switch to earth breeze they're also backed by a one hundred percent money back guarantee so basically you are trying it risk free right now you can get forty off with your subscription at earthbreeze dot com hattit that's earthbreeze dot com hatit ever wanted to stay on.

[Jennifer]

Vacation longer us too with vrbo's long stay discounts you can stay longer and save more on select properties gotta love.

[Angie]

A win win book the perfect summer getaway today with vrbo private vacation rentals.

[Jennifer]

Your future self will thank you later.

[Kylie]

Okay up next we've got tve good.

[Tve]

Morning ladies i'm gonna skip right past the goddamn pleasantries and jump right into the habits and what i've had it with this week is the goddamn indoctrination of christianity into this country something that i even think has affected jen oh pumps is thinking to yourself what do you mean she's famously atheist we'll hold on your to goddamn life alert necklace pumps i want to know if you've ever been in a room had a sneeze and jen has trotted out a bless you bless you who the is blessing you if god doesn't exist i had it with this now i understand the history behind it no people thinking you lose your soul or a demon has possessed you well how come nobody's trotting out to bless you when you're ripping ass or burping two arguably more demonic sounding bottles functions and i've also had it with the in god we trust on the currency this country is going to hell in a handbasket how about in good we trust i had it don't piss me off i love.

[Jennifer]

Him i love that that is the energy we need that is that island energy peak as all three callers i.

[Angie]

Was gonna say i i do i.

[Jennifer]

He'S one hundred right to call me out and i accept it i have acquiesced and i find myself saying bless you and then i have thought at the same time when i say it am i capitulating to christianity and i've thought that a lot when i do it so i appreciate the caller calling me out on that and i don't know what to say beyond that i'm open to suggestions in the comment section on youtube will you guys please give can trump's making shit up gulf of america can we make up something new to say instead of bless you satan.

[Angie]

Bless you illuminati beelzebub lucifer six hundred and sixty six i'll be honest you know this tells you what a great bible teacher i was i didn't really put it together like bless you god's blessing you i just thought it was like a courtesy like to acknowledge i.

[Jennifer]

Think that that i think he's the.

[Angie]

Original it's gra but as i think back on it yes but here's what.

[Jennifer]

I know about the in god we trust on the currency and in the pledge of allegiance i believe kylie if you'll start giving this a goo i believe that this happened in the nineteen.

[Angie]

Fifties i think in god we trust was nineteen not on the money but in the pledge of nineteen fifty three.

[Jennifer]

Yeah and so the country there in the nineteen fifties there was a push to make it more non secular in the nineteen fifties and then we all know you know what starts happening then then when you get to reagan that's when shit really starts hitting the fan i mean if we were to i've seen these memes online pinpoint the pinpoint the very beginning starting point of when we found ourselves in this shit and a lot of people put up a picture of ronald reagan really yeah because he really championed for unregulated capitalism and he really browbeat poverty really browbeat poor people and he turned back on the gay community all in the name of jesus and he did that christian you know conservatism where it's like i'm with jesus but i also am about making everybody a rich and those poor people but he was handsome and an actor and he did it with a smile and he was you know like republicans when they hear reagan they just like literally orgasm on the spot it's like oh reagan but when you really look at at him objectively and the damage he did to this country it's brutal.

[Angie]

Yeah i always blame him for the po like the war on poverty like the demonizing people that are poor and trickle down economics not working yeah trickle.

[Jennifer]

Down economics that's a total racket kylie.

[Kylie]

Did you hit the gig i did it in god we trust first appeared on a silver dollar certificate in nineteen thirty five and then in it was passed in law to be included on currency in nineteen fifty five what about.

[Jennifer]

The pledge of allegiance i'm just i'm.

[Angie]

Pulling for fifty three first version was.

[Kylie]

Written in eighteen eighty five and then official recognition by congress in nineteen forty.

[Angie]

Two god damn it something happened in fifty three i'm gonna find it well.

[Jennifer]

I mean do you have any memory.

[Angie]

Of it fuck you and the horse she rode in on she's so ugly now that you're fifty one and i'm fifty five we're both in our fifties.

[Jennifer]

Yeah we're in it yeah we're in it meemaw you and me all right.

[Kylie]

Next okay up next we've got carrie.

[I]

Jennifer angie kylie i love you all so much i've had it and i mean really really had it with giant bows on the bald heads of newborn baby girls i mean it looks fucking ridiculous and what's really sad is i think it must be rooted in some desperate need to signal that your baby is a girl is it really your biggest fear that some stranger might mistake your girl for a boy it's so stupid the equivalent would be sticking false mustaches on baby boys that's how ridiculous it is it feels like there's this this desperate need to feminize girls before they can even hold their own heads up and it's not cute it's borderline child abuse i find even my most feminist friends posting pictures of their babies with these gigantic bows and my act of rebellion is to not like those images it's a pathological need to declare your baby's gender it's twenty twenty five get over it i felt had it.

[Jennifer]

Okay what what what i'm interested in about this is i think she's irish i was gonna say irish that sounded irish and that she is this going on in ireland are they putting big bows on babies heads in ireland because i think it had to have started.

[Angie]

Here all bad ideas texas in particular.

[Jennifer]

I think probably and then it i it pains me that this has escalated over to there and i one hundred percent agree with her on this there is a part of the whole patriarchal culture and pumps and i grew up around this pumps grew up in this there is this need to project this princess syndrome on girls you are helpless if you play oh my god i didn't realize it if you play dumb you get extra praise oh my god how cute was that she didn't get that and it's and put the bow on and really keep reminding that you are a girl and in all of that stuff there is a subconscious message that you are weaker and inferior in my opinion the women that i know that were raised in this and around this and the big bow culture there is a definite like oh my god i'm a dinghy blonde and you can see from years and years and years of being raised in patriarchal systems that their default setting is to is to kind of defer back to that instead of i've got this i can handle it like taking the bull by the horns and it's a real regional thing here i think i see it a lot with girls and grown women now that were raised in these systems and then you see them putting the bows on their girls and i think it's deeper than just the bow i agree with the collar on this i've always thought it was really weird yeah you've.

[Angie]

Hated the bow always from jump i never did the round bow probably because i was too disorganized i probably would have if i would have thought i could handle it but i did try to get emily's bow in and she hated it and you egged her on.

[Jennifer]

From jump yeah so but see here's the deal she had this whole i remember angie had emily was the only girl so i have two boys she has two boys and a girl and we were always together all the time when the kids were little because it's really hard to raise kids and her husband's really up at the time and so there was this i remember correctly you had like this thing like a hanger type thing and it went down yes and and you had all different colors of bows right on it and it like either hung on the door on the wall somewhere i think it.

[Angie]

Was on the door handle yeah i.

[Jennifer]

Remember the door handle and so she would get emily and get her hair all done up and she would put the bow in it and emily and she'd put it you put it like right here on top she had bad bangs and she would pull it out and throw it at angie and i would say to angie she's going to be surrounded by gay men and angie at the time good christian girl teaching bible said he goes though she won't she will not how could you say that and i'm like spot it got it i know one hundred percent that your daughter is going to have multiple gay men as her best friends right and you should you know embrace it well and she was offended and then ten years later emily starts the dance competitions pumps calls me and she says you're right emily loves gay men gay men love her eating crow you one hundred percent called it when she was two years old she is knee deep into gay culture yeah the first thing.

[Angie]

She did when she started a new school is she's like well my first priority is to infiltrate the gays she was like i know if i find gay friends i'm good in college yeah.

[Jennifer]

In grad school all right i think that's all we have for today pumps do you have anything else to share.

[Angie]

I just would share that i think that that was upper echelon calls that was i had so much fun today that was really fun it's always my.

[Jennifer]

Favorite these were great i concur all right please link in bio pinned to the link buy our book life as a lazy susan of shit sandwiches for those of you listeners that are like transitioning from the way your parents wanted you to be and the way your hometown wanted you to be and you see all this stuff with trump and you think this is screwed up i'm not for this my parents are all of my friends you know from my hometown are read the book because i'm telling you i personally believe that pump's story is helpful and i think there's a lot of americans going through that right now that were raised and told you have to be a certain way and then you see this depravity and you see the rights being taken away from people and you see the dehumanization and you're questioning the very foundations of everything that you were taught pumps has answers and life is a lazy susan of shit sandwiches.

[Angie]

Well she has the journey for sure i don't know answers but i mean trying working on it.

[Jennifer]

I think having i think sometimes answers are knowing you're not alone right relatability i do yeah no i agree with that i do i think i think i remember when josh was you know in his addiction and knowing that other people were going through it and they started to explain something that i was feeling and it was verbatim exactly the way i was feeling i was like oh okay there was a comfort to.

[Angie]

That huge comfort no i completely agree with that and we will see you next tuesday and thursday.

[Jennifer]

Listen up patriots gaytriots and natriots we have a new podcast that has dropped it's called ihip news it's monday through friday every day fifteen to twenty minute hot takes on the political landscape of the united states of america always served with a side.

[Angie]

Of petty grievances we are on all the available platforms apple spotify google whatever you get your podcasts and youtube please.

[Jennifer]

Go rate subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with america's greatest legal mind pumps pumps what does an eagle say cacao a little bit more enthusiasm that's it that's that's that's the patriotism that this country needs right there.