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Jennifer
So we supposed to start the podcast.
Angie
Ready? One, two, three Patriots, Gay Trios, they
Jennifer
Trio, Black Trio, Brown Trio and anybody we may have left off, we loved you and all of the triple trumpers. All of you can do what? Pumps. All right, pumps. What have you had it with?
Angie
Okay, what I've had it with is twofold, both to do with Apple. Number one, my weather app with Apple. I look on it to see do I need to wear like, is it long sleeve, short sleeve rain? No. Right. Well, now it's saying your chance of precipitation like this morning was 35%. So I went in to the hourly, like, what time will that be? And the highest chance of rain was 5% one time. So then going, because I've noticed this before, like, are we, how are we coming up with 5%? Number one, why are you even telling me? 95% chance it's not going to rain anyway. So then it's 35%. So I go through that says, well, your daily might be higher than your hourly. So I go through the next 10 days because I am a fucking net. And there is, It'll be like 80% chance of rain, 70% chance of rain. You break it down in the hourly. The highest chance of rain is 30%. So I'm confused why Apple is doing that. Okay, that's my number one. Number two, I've had it with my phone, just randomly will text me and say, you have an Apple charge to my credit card. Like $13, $25. So I'm telling this, my girlfriend about it. She's like, oh my gosh. That same thing was happening to me. I called my bank and said, deny charges from Apple. I got an email from Apple that said if you cancel the charges, you will be permanently banned from Apple and you can never buy anything ever again from Apple. So I'm like, what do I do? Do I cancel this and try to figure out what they're doing or do I have to go through every bank statement and isolate and then find somebody with Apple to tell me what these charges are for? I think it's a fucking racket. I think it's Tim Scott. I think it's Maga. Had it.
Jennifer
Tim Scott.
Angie
Tim Scott. Tim Cook. Yeah, right.
Jennifer
It's hard to get. Yeah, I know. It's so weird that you say all this because my grievance today is also Apple related.
Angie
We did not know people.
Jennifer
So the only reason that. Well, two reasons that I have the Apple Watch, number one is so that when I misplace my phone, I can ping it and find it. And the second reason is I don't feel like my workouts matter or even took place unless I document them on my watch.
Angie
Agree.
Jennifer
So I noticed over the course of the last like 10 days, I was pinging my phone, phone from my watch and I couldn't. It wasn't pinging and I was like, well, that's weird. And then I was getting phone calls but my watch wasn't vibrating and I was like, that's weird. So I'm slow on the uptake. So it took me a couple of days to figure out that they were not in sync any longer. So it's like, okay, your watch needs an software update. So I'm like, okay. So I update the watch. I've had it with Apple calling these things updates when they're down. Dates, right? Nothing about them is up. Nothing about them is better. So like I said, I use the watch for two things. Pinging the phone, recording the exercise. So after I do this update, figure out how to do all that, I go to my watch, to my workouts. They all used to come in order of frequency. Outdoor walk, tennis, fitness training and pickleball. Right. Those were, those are the things that I do or hit high intensity, whatever. Well, all that is gone. That's completely gone. So I'm scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling through all of these things on my little watch as I'm racing to the gym. Like, okay, I've got to document this. I can't find the appropriate thing. So then I finally find it, I start it and then my whole phone is, the whole time I'm working out, it's. The whole screen is converted to this. And I didn't sign up for that. Like the only reason I did the update was because you unsynced. I think they did this shit on purpose. And every time I do one of these updates it's the photo album has never been. It hasn't been good a year and a half. I kind of missed the button. Remember the buttons on the phone. And I just, I think that you have a bunch of people that sit around in a table and they have nothing to fucking do. And so they come up with shit that they can do. Look what I figured out. We're gonna do this. And they make everything more difficult and they make it not as much fun. But then we're also addicted to these devices. And then I'm like you, after I go through all of this, just despair about all of these things that I've become so reliant upon, then I get really mad. It goes like this. I hate Tim Cook.
Angie
Yeah.
Jennifer
I hate Donald Trump. And I just start going down the line. I hate Jared, I hate Ivanka, I hate Dom, I hate Dumber. Throw Tiffany and Baron in there just for spite. Don't even get me started on that two bit hooker Melania who's been lying telling everybody she met Donald at some horse race or some bullshit when she was some hooker that Jeffrey Epstein passed on allegedly. You know. And so it's just I go down the same rabbit hole because everybody who makes our life miserable is directly connected to Trump 100.
Angie
Yeah, that's the thing. I feel like this would not be happening. None of these issues I would have with the weather app like it would
Jennifer
just predictions would be better.
Angie
It would be better. It would say you have a 5% chance of rain today. I'd look at the hourly, say five o', clock, you have 5% chance of rain. That's what it would be. Now we're gaslighting. We've taken gaslighting to a new level.
Jennifer
Yeah.
Angie
That now. And here's the deal. I have considered very strongly even though I have a just an absolute hate of androids because the green text and all the things the group texting and I thought I'm just going to second if I got rid of my iPhone. Then I thought well get rid of my Apple watch But I'm like, you, like, if I work out, like, my phone died once during workout and I thought, fuck it, I might as well just go home. But so I was gonna get one of those ring things that you do, and I thought, well, that would work. You can't find your iPhone. That's the thing.
Jennifer
That's.
Angie
See, that's a two iPhone finder.
Jennifer
It's a two thing. Record the exercise, otherwise the exercise does not take place and ping the iPhone. I'm like you. One time I went to tennis to train with Jeff. I roll up to tennis and I realized I forgot my watch. I played like, shit. All I would think about the whole time is, how am I going to know how many calories I burned? How am I going to know what my heart rate is? And here's the thing. Ten years ago, nobody gave a fuck about any of that shit.
Angie
Nobody.
Jennifer
This is capitalism on steroids, making us think we have to have all of these monitors monitoring and all this shit. And here's the thing. I would be less critical of some of these updates if Tim Cook was not making up stupid, ugly ass trophies and marching into the White House giving them to Donald Trump. I just. It makes me hate all of the products that these people produce. I think they suck. I. I really, really hate these people.
Angie
Hate them. I was unlike you. I was so pissed about my weather thing just continuing to happen. I thought, I hate that motherfucker that marched in the Oval Office and gave a trophy to that fat orange fuck for nothing. And why? And then I always go back to, why would you do that? You have. You own. You're running Apple, for fuck's sake. Why would you cow down to him? Like, I don't get it. But anyway, you know what?
Jennifer
Somebody told me once, this gal told me, she. I was in a dressing room. She was the person helping me with the clothes. I was in Paris, and Josh and I were heading to Roland Garros to the French Open the following day. And she and I looked at the Apple weather, and it was like, Paris, 35% chance of rain. So I told the gal, I said, oh, there's a 35% chance of rain tomorrow. So I think that's totally fine. She goes, that's not what that means. And I said, well, what does it mean? And she said, what it means is that 35% of the city is going to get hit with rain.
Kylie
Oh.
Jennifer
And I was like, I don't think it means that. It's just like. No, it does. I just found it out. And it's 100% true. And it's like. Like, if you were telling me that, I'd be like, bitch, shut the fuck up. That's not what that is. But I don't know this girl, right? Like, she's helping me. I'm in a foreign country. I don't want to be an obnoxious American. Right. And so I'm like, really? I had no ide idea. And she's like, no. Yeah. So basically, tomorrow it will rain 100%, it will rain. But just only 35% of Paris is
Angie
going to get rain.
Jennifer
And I had to go along with it. It's like, okay, what would you do in that situation? You just go along with it.
Angie
Yeah, I just feel like, whatever. Sure. Yeah, maybe it is.
Jennifer
All right. Welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer.
Angie
I'm Angie.
Jennifer
Kylie, it looks like you have three reviews per my notes here.
Kylie
I do have three reviews and I also have two things I want to say about your edits. Pumps the aura ring. It's a Palantir Peter Thiel deal. So that's.
Angie
Oh, I had no idea.
Kylie
Another thing, and I don't condone you getting Android, but you can now have blue text. They fix that.
Angie
Or you can, like, something that I have on my person, find my Android.
Kylie
I'm sure they have, like, Android watches, but I don't think you should get one. I think it's stupid.
Jennifer
Think about that.
Kylie
I've got three reviews. I'm going to start with a good one. Five stars. Titled Creamy Tomato Soup for the Soul. And Jackie says, I just started listening to this podcast. I think it's beginning to heal my soul. You've got balls to spare.
Jennifer
I like it. Thank you, Jackie.
Angie
I like balls to spare. Do you guys remember when all the rage was, like, a mother Soup for the Soul? All those Soup for the Soul books. I was in somebody's house the other day. They still had one in their bathroom. I was just like this.
Kylie
I had a Christian one. It was like, Christian Chicken Soup for the Soul.
Angie
Oh, really?
Kylie
I don't Christian. I don't even remember what those like, self help almost. For kids.
Angie
They had them for kids. Had them for adults that had, like, weird, you know, moms that work, moms that have blonde hair. I mean, it got very nuanced.
Kylie
Okay, I'm done with the good reviews. This one is one star. It's titled Vomit Emoji. Vomit Emoji. And it's written by Trump. 2028. Flag.
Jennifer
Flag, flag.
Kylie
They say this is nothing but A disgusting, hateful and pathetic ego stalking for two narcissistic, self righteous divas in a midlife crisis.
Jennifer
I can't really disagree with much of that.
Kylie
Okay, the last one is titled One star with the one star emoji. It is a one star review and then the review itself is a one star emo.
Jennifer
So that's three total. It is three, which is always kind of where I felt that it was. I don't, I don't think we're as shitty as a one star. Some episodes are five stars. I mean, we finished. I'm like, that was great. We were hilarious. We were especially hateful despite pumps being in denial about our being hateful. But that's pretty good review. Okay, I have some news stories I want to share. We want to highlight a very important case of wrongful termination. Let's pop this up. Daily Beast is reporting zoo curator fired after comparing a 1500 pound animal to Trump. Let's pop up the side by side. So on the left we have Kangles mctaco tits and on the right we have this cow or this bull. Buffalo. It's a buffalo. I think they look a lot alike, especially the hair.
Angie
Yeah.
Jennifer
The zoo provided little details on the firing of the curator. Let's pop this up. The buffaloes exhibit initially featured a sign reading Donald Trump, local media reported. According to the ap, the sign has since been removed and the zoo curator was fired on Saturday, though officials have not said why. There is a resemblance to Donald Trump in its eyes, hairstyle and skin color, Mohammed Nassim, a student in Dakar, told the ap. And just as Donald Trump has a distinctive personality and lifestyle, this buffalo, after going viral, is now living a similar kind of life, enjoying a lot of attention and special treatment.
Angie
I'm surprised. I mean, honestly, I think that's pretty clever. I mean, I, I don't know anything about the zoo, but it sounds to me like it just thin skin, like who cares what you name a buffalo. And they didn't say they weighed the same. So I thought that would have been what got him fired. But he, he refrained. Although that was the easiest joke to make. Two fat asses. Two buffalo asses. Yeah.
Jennifer
And you know, like these are the people that he got Stephen Colbert fired and then posted, you know, so this, and these are, think about this movement, all of the people that got fired after Charlie Kirk died, who rightfully pointed out that Charlie Kirk is a total bigot, and then now they've all sued and turns out, you know, wrongful termination, all this bullshit. But it's just like they cannot stomach a mirror putting. Being put up to them at all. That's why if you're critical of like mega churches or this sect of Christianity that maga thumps and Bible thumps, they're the first to go, oh my God. Instead of. You know, I can totally see that. I can see how that, that church is like, kind of like that they, they. Everything that they believe in is built on a house of cards. It's so fragile. It's so. It's constructed in such a fragile manner that you just completely just nudge at the foundation of it and it tumbling down or they completely snowflake out like this.
Angie
I agree. And you know, when we were friends in the beginning where I was in the mega church, indoctrinated all that. I remember when you would say things, it would make me think. I mean I would think about it and it took a long time. But when you just immediately dismiss it and run away from it, even if you, I mean, you have to think about it. I would think. And that is why they're so defensive. Like they're seeing. Like that makes some sense or. Do you think I'm giving way too much credit?
Jennifer
You were pretty defensive and you rolled your eyes and huffed and puffed at me quite a bit, but. And continued to invite me to Bible study. Yeah, but you would have never, you would have never confessed that to me. I mean it was a lot of eye rolling, dismissiveness. Very much so.
Angie
People internalize that. It's not just one. I mean, I think you have to stay at it. It's like a thousand little paper. You have to keep going at it.
Jennifer
Yeah, yeah. I just, I think that's when people first, when they hear stuff like that, you would always go, oh my God. Of course. You know, it was always just like, you just couldn't believe that some. It was like the whole religion and everything was so crafted and curated and perfectly constructed that when somebody said, no, I don't believe that. I think that's insane. Well, it was just there.
Angie
You were the first person I ever knew that didn't. No, but seriously. But when you think about it, when everything is curated for you, you. You're the chosen one, you're special, you're entitled, you get everything it. But I just, I believe you have to keep saying it over and over and over because I do think people have that you. Even if the wheels start, they do start to turn slowly, but they do turn.
Jennifer
Yeah, but I want to put some context here. The reason that They. I didn't. I was never trying to convert Angie. Angie was always trying to convert me and would bring up things like, well, this was a God thing or that. And so it was always brought up to my face, into which I would respond with something like, why does God care about this but doesn't care about that? And so it was just. It was. It was always her, like, the. Her trying to convert me. And in her process of trying to convert me, it deconstructed her.
Angie
Right?
Jennifer
Yeah.
Angie
You never. You never. To be very clear, you were never like, oh, my God, I'm an atheist. It's so cool. Be an atheist. It's the way to go. It was never like that. With. Quite the contrary. But I do remember, like, when you said, well, why are you so special that you. That God gets to do this for you and not everybody else? It was like, what?
Jennifer
She looked at me. I'll never forget it. She was like. She goes, you know, God just protected me and my children from da, da, da, da, da, da. I go, well, how lucky for you. Why do you think God protected you and your kids and didn't protect, like, the kids in the Holocaust, for example, or the kids that were abused and raped by Catholic priests? And she snapped up and she looked at me, she says, well, I think God just likes me more. And I was like, oh, okay, that makes perfect sense. Which. Which Angie, what's not to like? All right, listener, imagine this. There actually is a version of yourself that sleeps through the night, doesn't have brain fog, and can think clearly and actually feels like yourself again. You haven't lost them. You just need support that's built for your body. And that's exactly where I was when I discovered Biologica. I love how easy it is. It's an effervescent powder you mix with water so it absorbs really, really well. And honestly, it just tastes really, really good. No pills, no complicated routine. It's made with clean ingredients, no added sugar, and developed alongside women's health experts who are actually understand how much our nutritional needs change over time. It has great flavor again. It's so easy to use, and I have noticed so many positive physical changes. I'm sleeping better. I'm less bloated. My hair feels great. My skin is looking so much better. The brain fog. Oh, my God. I haven't felt that in a really long time. Listener, head to biologica.com had it to get started, take their quick hormonal life stage quiz to find the formula that's right for you and right now subscribers can receive up to 32% off their purchase. Again, make sure to go to Biologica.com had it and get up to 32% off your first subscription order today. Father's Day is upon us and I have a great gift that you all can get the men in your lives. A couple of choices here, the I Restore Elite or the Illumina face mask or if you're feeling super ambitious, get them both. Father's Day is the perfect time to give the kind of gift he'll actually use. Something that helps him feel confident, refreshed and ready for whatever's next. From June 8 through June 21, iRestore's Father's Day Savings event makes it easier to upgrade his self care routine with a limited time savings on advanced at home red light therapy devices. And here's the best part. During their Father's Day savings event you can shop the dad Edit featuring the Irestore Elite and Irestore's new Sculpt belt. Because the best Father's Day gifts don't just sit on a shelf, they help him feel his best. Every day listener Irestore is celebrating Father's Day with Day every limited time savings on their red light therapy devices. From June 8 through June 21, you can save 33% on Gift Ready favorites like the Irestore elite helmet and iRestore's new sculpt belt as part of the dad Edit. Plus your order comes with a gift with purchase valued at up to $190. Just head to irestore.com code had it to take advantage of the sale that's had it. Restore.com Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. Give Dad a gift that helps him feel confident, refreshed and ready to take on his day. Okay, Speaking of crazy Christians, the wives of MAGA men have figured out a way to keep Grindr off their husband's founds. Let's pop this up LGBTQ Nation Headline on Christian Cell Phone Service New Christian cell phone service will block all LGBTQ+ web content by default and they say yesterday marked the launch of Radiant Mobile, a Christian cell phone network that automatically blocks all pornographic, satanic and cult, which buys its bandwidth from T Mobile's national tower network will also reportedly roll out a filter that blocks all LGBTQ content, including web material related to gender and trans issues. According to MIT Technology Review, the filter will be optional but turned on by default on all phones. We we are going to create and we think we have every right to do so an environment that is Jesus centric, that is void of pornography, void of lgbt, void of trans. Radio Mobile's founder, Paul Fisher told the aforementioned publication. And so the thing I want to say about this Paul Fisher is tell us you're gay without telling us you're gay.
Angie
Tell us you're on Grindr. I have.
Jennifer
I have a cell phone here. I don't need to plug with my attractive dog as my screensaver. I do not need to block lesbian and scissoring content. I don't need to do that because I like men, you know, like, it's just not a choice. I just do. That's just what. What I like. It's such a tell. I agree on these MAGA people just like the way Mike Pence, you know, that he ever. He acted like everybody wanted to jump his bones all the time, you know, I can't be in a room with a woman, you know, like, like, it's just. It's such a tell that these people lack all forms of impulse control. They cannot advocate for themselves. They have no autonomy. Purity culture and abstinence only culture has created an exacerbated rape culture. These people do not know what consent means. They have no self control because nobody has ever looked in the eye and said, you're going to get horny. Being horny is normal. You might want to masturbate, you might be straight, you might be gay. You'll figure out what you're attracted to. It's had this cloak of shame surrounding it, this sexual cloak of shame their whole lives. And I just think Paul Fisher is, you know, this is a classic MAGA person. And these MAGA men, these triple Trumpers, I think, have massive, massive, massive sex issues for sure.
Angie
Anybody that talks about it as much can. I mean, Mike Johnson and his wife run conversion camps while he is working in the going to be dean of a law school named for a sexual predator. Now he is covering for Donald Trump. I mean, he wants to talk about conversion camp while protecting children. I mean, protecting prolific pedophiles over and over and over again. I mean, you can go down the list. It's always the same people, the ones talking about it the most. Although, anyway, I'm not going to say that because, but honestly, the ones talking about it the most are always the most worried about it.
Jennifer
Yeah. All right, let's go on to some voicemails.
Kylie
Okay, up first we've got James.
James (Caller)
Okay, y', all, first of all, love you, Jen. And Pumps and Kylie and all the other gay trio and patriots and Black traits and brown trio that make your podcast an amazing, amazing place. I have had it, had it with all these Instagram ads for these stupid goddamn gadgets that are useless. Why do you need to stuff a banana? Why do you need a tube that rolls sushi for? You learn how to roll sushi. Like why do you need something that cuts chicken into tiny little slices? Do you not know how to use a knife? Like get these people out of here.
Jennifer
Here.
James (Caller)
They don't even know how to cook. I understand if you're disabled and like maybe your goddamn hands don't work right or something like that and you need something like that. But stop trying to teach people how to cook this lazy back ass way with these gadgets that are just going to be cheap crap from China or from Amazon and it's just lining some billionaires pocket. It's shit you don't need.
Angie
Yeah, I've fallen prey to that too.
Jennifer
I know. They do such a great job. They roll out these commercials. I'm with him, I've had it with it. And it's like great asmr. And it makes these great sounds and it looks so neat and organized and it's like, oh, I'm good, I could use that. And then if I've taken like some melatonin at night, I fall prey to it so easily. And then these boxes start rolling in. I'm like, what is all this that I've ordered?
Angie
Yeah, I don't even want this. I don't. I don't even know why I bought it. Thought I would use this, but I'm the queen for like, you know what? I'm gonna get that, then I'm gonna cook. Well, no, I'm not gonna cook. I haven't cooked. You know what's weird? My dad, who has, who has been dead for six years my entire life, watched cooking shows and bought cooking gadgets and never once did I see him boil water.
Jennifer
And now I'm doing it.
Angie
I thought it was so weird at the time, but now I'm kind of doing it.
Jennifer
Watch cooking shows? No.
Angie
God no. I'm not watching cooking shows. But I'm buying these stupid gadgets I will never ever use.
Jennifer
Yeah. All right, Kylie, who's next?
Kylie
Okay, up next, we've got Jennifer.
Jennifer (Caller)
I have had it with people asking me stupid questions about my gay kids. I just finished listening to your episode where Peppermint was your guest. Fantastic episode. Loved it. But I am so tired of people asking me dumb, stupid fucking questions about my gay kids. Most recently, my stepson is gay. My daughter is bisexual. My stepson and his partner came to visit for the weekend. I was telling some friends about it and they were like, oh, does that bother you? And I'm like, what? They said, well, they might be having sex in your house. I don't want to think about any of my kids having sex in my house. What a weird thing to say and to ask me, but I get crap like this all the time, so just wanted to share that with you. Also, you brought up Kristi Noem's husband and his alter ego, or whatever it is, is named Crystal. That must be a very common name
Angie
among
Jennifer (Caller)
cross dressers or whoever. My ex husband was a cross dresser, a closet cross dresser. But his alter ego was also Crystal, so just thought I'd throw that out there.
Jennifer
Okay. I agree with her that oftentimes when you, when you tell people about something, bring up something that's gay or somebody that's gay, if the person's brain immediately goes to sex, that's really interesting because if you talk about, you know, heterosexuals and people's brain don't immediately go to sex. So that's a big tell. And then as it pertains to big titty Brian, who wants to be a trans bimbo slut, I'm going to tell you a story. In my early 20s, I was friends with this guy named Drew, and he's since died. His sweetest, sweetest guy in the planet, hairdresser. And he owned a hair salon in Oklahoma City. And Drew had owned the salon. So he had the other stylist that paid the booth rent and whatnot. And this one gal, she was married to a man. And she comes in there one day and I was in there hanging out with Drew. And she comes in and she's kind of crying. We were like, what's going on? And she said, well, I went home yesterday and my husband was painting his toenails. I was probably like 21 or something. I was like, really? Was like, why was he painting his toenails? And she was like, well, then it got worse. So then we like, you know, I went into the room and then he had like my bras and blah, blah, blah. And so I was like, does he like wearing your clothes? She's like, well, I think he's like a cross dresser. These are like Republican people. And this is so much more common than people realize. And this happens in red states and blue states to Democrats and Republicans. And there. The whole idea that the reason Mag is attacking universities is because universities have appropriately, through like gender studies classes said that gender, binary gender is a social construct. And we have been constructed, propagandized to believe that you're either boy or girl. But if you think back throughout your life, you always know of a girl that's a tomboy. You always know of the boy that was effeminate. And now you have these full grown realized people, men, and I'm sure women maybe to some extent, although it does seem to be more men. But I don't want to exclude women that want to dress up as men. These cross dressers and you know, they, they stay in the. It's so suppressed. But that's, it's kind of like, I think they feel like they want to represent themselves as women or there's something going on there. And I think my estimation is that in Bible Belt states, in Republican culture, I, this is my own personal opinion. The science will come up. It will happen. Trust me. It always happens. With this podcast, I would estimate this is my new prediction, that Republican men enjoy being packed more than Democratic men. These are alleged heterosexuals. And then I would also like to bring to the scientists that listen to our podcast and then conduct studies and then post them on Instagram so we see them that I think that Republican men cross dress at a higher rate than Democratic men.
Claire (Caller)
I do.
Jennifer
I don't think there's anything wrong with any of it. I think you should peg if you want to peg in high heels and get pegged in high heels. I support every single ounce of it. I'm just not a hypocrite.
Angie
Completely agree. And I'm just thinking like I'm going through divorce cases where I had cross dressing partners.
Jennifer
Oh, you probably have so much good tea on this.
Angie
But I mean, it's really, it. I mean, it's very common. I mean, and it's a lot more
Jennifer
common than people think.
Angie
It's a lot more common than people think. And sometimes the spouse, once they find out, they're fine with it. Sometimes it freaks them out. But always the people I'm thinking of, I'm 99.9, sure were Republicans.
Jennifer
I just, yeah, Big Timmy, Brian, he's
Angie
not alone in these churches. I bet you if we went into a church, like a big mega church on Sunday, I bet you it wouldn't be too hard to figure out who the cross dressers were. I mean, the gay. And that's obvious. They're not even trying to hide it. Well, like, did I tell you this story that my mother told me? We were talking about a family friend and she Said. I said, well, he's gay. He's just gay. And she goes, no, he's not gay. He went on a gay cruise and he didn't like it. So he's not gay like a mother. Nobody's going on a gay cruise. That's not gay.
Jennifer
I hate to tell, like, they're a pair of earrings that he tried on and then decided he didn't like them, so he didn't purchase them, so he returned them to the store.
Angie
Right. But no, it's very. It's very obvious, and it's much more common than people think.
Jennifer
I think that people feel, I think, that attractive. Like, I find women attractive. I don't want to have sex with them. But I think, like, Dua Lipa, I'm like, oh, my God, she's so gorgeous. That woman is like just drips of sex appeal. And I can openly say that in front of anybody. But men, particularly Republican men, if they see somebody really attractive, they feel like if they say that, then that's gay. And really, like, attractiveness is really a bipartisan thing that we all like to look at pretty people. We all like to see hot people. We all like to see sexy people. Some men, you know, like to get kinky and dress up as women and. Or get pegged or whatever. But in. In Republican Christian culture, it is just like, this is the way things have to be. Everything is scripted for these people. They don't get to go explore and be what they want to be. So when Kristi Noem gets shipped off to Washington D.C. while she's fucking co Corey Lewandowski. Big Titty Brian is at home and he in wherever she's from. North Dakota, South Dakota. I can't remember South Dakota. You know, he's putting on his titties and, you know, he gets to be his true self. And I would feel bad for Big Titty Brian because I have a lot of empathy for all of the people that suffer from Bible belt abuse, because I believe that these mega churches are just downright abusive. And liars and thieves, they steal money from people. And then I think the parents. Parents are spiritually abusive to their children, particularly if they sense that the child might be quote, unquote, light in the loafers or something, then the bullying starts from the parent. And so I have a lot of empathy for that. But in the case of Big Titty Brian, when you're like his. His dom, the person on Onlyfans that he fell in love with, you know, she said, I saw the way he and his wife Were treating people, and I wanted to expose it. She wanted to right the wrong. It wasn't like he was doing this passively and his life worked. Was a banker that traveled a lot. You know, she was killing people. She was killing innocent civilians, Killing cricket, killing a goat. And so, yeah, I think it's. It's just interesting. But I. I'll just tell you this much. The most up people I've ever known have always been the most religious. Every single time.
Angie
I. I have to agree. I was one of them. So I under. Like, in terms of marriage, like, most up. Crazy, salacious details for marriage, those are always coming from inside the church.
Jennifer
Always.
Angie
But I will say something that's interesting. A lot of pegging goes on in straight couples that you don't realize.
Jennifer
How do you know this?
Angie
Well, just from different clients. Like, it's not as.
Jennifer
So, so you're doing a divorce, and then how does pegging enter the divorce?
Angie
Well, I've had a client break into a cart work and throw the sex toy in there and be proud of it. And I'm like, you just can't do that shit. You know, you can't drop off the. The dildo. It had a strap on. I don't think. I knew. I knew it was going in the butt, but I didn't know it was called pegging at the time. I just knew that he. He liked her to sucker him with. Why don't. Why am I whispering with the dildo in the ass?
Jennifer
Really? So you piece that together through the
Angie
course of this podcast? I have fig. I have figured out a few things.
Jennifer
So you saw who threw that. She threw the dildo in his car. Yes. Like, I'm not gonna peg you anymore. Right, Right. And then you being the legal eagle that you are, pieced together. Oh, she used to strap that on. And he took it up the ass.
Angie
Okay, well, I will say this. I just thought she was. I didn't know until you. Until y' all told me what pegging was. I didn't understand how it worked. Now it makes perfect sense now. But I just thought it was a hand thing.
Jennifer
Okay, so wait, let's go through that. Let's break that down. So you thought the. You thought she just had the end of the dildo and then just was cramming it?
James (Caller)
Right.
Angie
I didn't know you wore strap.
Jennifer
When did you discover that?
Angie
On this podcast.
Jennifer
Did the. Did the dildo that was thrown in the car, did it have a strap attached to it?
Angie
I don't. I never saw the actual.
Jennifer
How did You. How did you find out?
Angie
Because his lawyer put it in pleadings that she's going up to his office, breaking into his car with the spare key, and dropping sex toys. And I was so shocked that the guy described the sex toys. So I call up my clients and I'm like, you can't do this shit. She's. I was like, did you do this? She's like, goddamn right I did. She was the same person that was stalking him over Venmo. It was a whole thing. But there. There's a lot of crazy shit. But just one thing that I've noticed is, is everybody's, like, talking about, you know, we want to make a community safe from gay people, blah, blah, blah. These are the same people that are around, and they are covering for their pastor around, and they're covering for the youth minister molesting kids. And it makes me irate.
Jennifer
I want to make the country safe from straight people. I want to make children safe from straight people. And so I just want to put that out there, because I'll tell you what Josh and I would always say when somebody. When we were raising our kids in the Bible Belt, and if a family said, oh, we're a really good Christian home, Josh would always go, that's a big red flag. That is a big red flag. All of my friends that weren't religious and that were, like, progressive were totally normal, that very boring marriages, very boring, normal lives. They were the most normal people on the planet. My most religious friends, their husbands were always so fucked up. The wife was just out to lunch. It was just. It was a script. And people that are listening to this, that live in the Bible Belt, know this to be true. They know it. And that's why people, white women, get their panties in a wad about our podcast, because we call them out. We call out all the little bitches that love to go to their gay hairdresser and then go vote to hurt them. But they think they're so cool when they're hanging out, talking to them, oh, girl, I know you dating anyone? And then they go and just rat them at the ballot box for sure. All right, listen up, moms and dads, with Father's Day coming up, let's have some real talk. Most of us grew up thinking all cleaning products were safe, right? We're cleaning the germs away. But the truth is, most conventional cleaners are full of these really harsh chemicals that can cause a whole lot. Whole host of health problems. And this is a real problem because you obviously have to clean, but you don't want your cleaning products making you sick. That's why I want to introduce you to Branch Basics. Made from plant and mineral based ingredients, Branch Basics is human safe and it's fragrance free, making it perfect for families or anyone looking to switch to a healthier home cleaning product. And here's the good news listener. Branch Basics is now available at target and target.com making it easier than ever to access safe and effective cleaning products. Whether you're going all in on safe cleaning swaps or just starting small, find Branch Basics at target and target.com today. Okay you guys, I just ordered some new stuff for my new apartment and I ordered from article. I got the most fabulous Julie swivel chair in ivory wool boucle. I love a swivel chair. I love a boucle. Art Cool has the best furniture at the best prices with the best customer service imaginable. They have curated collections for every single style. You can actually mix and match them so your house doesn't look too matchy matchy. They have quality furniture and they do not compromise on that consistently high quality, fast affordable shipping and assembly. That to me is clutch because there's nothing worse than ordering something and it's just a huge difference debacle trying to get it delivered. They also have support whenever you need it, seven days a week. And my favorite part, a 30 day satisfaction guarantee. Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit Article.com had it and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. That's article.com hadit for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more.
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Angie
I have another admission that I'd like to make since the last podcast. Real quick. Okay, great. You know we were talking about taking notes, the free pressing or whatever. When you look at the guy's dick and you try to size it up. I can't remember what it's called.
Kylie
Catching print.
Jennifer
What Free presses.
Angie
What the printing. I thought it was pressing catching Print. Print. Oh, I thought it was pressing anyway, I've done that. Don't laugh. I just can't remember pressing. Printing.
Jennifer
Catching print.
Angie
Catching print. I've caught print of every single male I've come in contact with.
Jennifer
Okay. And tell us the results.
Angie
Oh my God, it's so weird.
Jennifer
Okay.
Angie
Confirmation bias. I know it is. Okay. But a lot of the people that I hate like, that I'll run into at the gym that I'm just like, I hate him. Little, little teeny weenies. I, it really is. So I'm start like. But I went to, I went to coffee to get coffee. I looked at everybody in that store. I I, what I found was, you know that coffee store, the real fancy one? I went in there, there were two gay guys in there and they were hung like horses. And then there, there was like two customers that looked maga and they were like zero penis. Like I could not catch any print or whatever it is.
Jennifer
You couldn't free press them?
Angie
I couldn't free press them, yeah. Which I think is a bad sign.
Kylie
She's gonna get arrested.
Angie
I know.
Jennifer
Okay, so let's review. So let's review. We have pups running around Oklahoma City.
Angie
Yeah.
Jennifer
Gazing into everybody's crotch at the fancy coffee shop. Did you say? Yeah, the real fancy coffee shop. And per your on the ground reporting, homosexuals have larger penises than magasexuals 13 people.
Angie
It's two to one. There's the science.
Jennifer
I, I, I really believe this to be true because I think that your hypothesis for quite some time now that at the epicenter of MAGA men is penile issues, whether that be in size or in energy. Like maybe you have, maybe you're a MAGA guy and you have a really large penis but you're unable to perform. You're unable. It's a soft serve situation. Pulling up soft all the time. So Angie, every time I see the Mr. Softy truck in New York, I chuckle because I just think of you. My brain goes to penises. And you go, look, there's Mr. Softy. My ex husband could have worked there. I would just picture you seeing some shit like that and I'm relating ice cream to penises.
Angie
Heads in the gutter. But I mean, how often did I about this officer serve? All the time. Why are we doing self serve? Why bother?
Jennifer
I what I think got me the most is when you would tell me that your ex husband wanted to have sex with you and that y' all had to like do like All My Children Days of Our Lives, like, making out beforehand.
Angie
Remember when I. I was just like, let's just get it over with.
Jennifer
Just.
Angie
Let's get it over with. Why we have to do all this kissing? The French kissing.
Jennifer
Are you sure?
Kylie
Straight?
Angie
Yeah. Although I was talking to a lady yesterday that she's, like, came out. She said, I don't know if I'm gay, but I'm in love with her. And they've built a life together. And all this.
Jennifer
It's.
Angie
She called it something, and I can't
Jennifer
remember what it is. Free pressing?
Angie
No, I can't remember what it's called, but she had a term for it, and I was like, it's just not that uncommon. Like, she acted like she was the only. She discovered turning lesbian in midlife. And I was like, no, there's a lot of people that do that. I might do that. Hell, you never know.
Jennifer
Where'd you see this woman? At the fancy coffee shop? Oh, at the gym?
Angie
Yeah.
Jennifer
Have you investigated the penises at the gym?
Angie
I told you, they're all. All the people that I spotted as Maga100 had no dicks in their shorts, which I'm. That means really bad.
Jennifer
Interesting. All right, let's do one more voice memo.
Kylie
Okay, the last one we've got is from Claire.
Claire (Caller)
I've had it with appreciation Weeks. Teacher Appreciation Week, Nurses Appreciation Week. My take is that if we need a whole week to appreciate you, you're not getting paid enough. And once again, all this does is forces. Usually moms, because let's be really fucking for real. To spend their money, money on doing something nice for someone in their family, in their life, in their children's lives, instead of these people actually being paid what they deserve. And it's not just like, buying a gift, like, whatever. I can get a gift card or whatever. It's like the mental load in Maysember, which is already a nightmare. It's literally worse than Christmas. I have been to so many concerts and programs and award programs, and I just. I can't. Let's. Let's actually pay these people what they are worth and leave it at that. Please. Please.
Angie
I agree with that.
Jennifer
I agree.
Angie
I mean, May is the worst time of the year. And I remember when we were little, like, my mom may, like, take cookies or something. I mean, I don't remember this happening, but I could see it happening. But, like, now it's like, Monday is, you know, show your appreciation by this or that or this or that. Okay, so I saw the funniest thing. I've been dying to Tell you you on the marquee of a middle school that I'm driving by, it says it's summertime. Parents. Tag your it. Love it. It's your problem now. Parents. I loved it. I thought it was so funny.
Jennifer
I agree with that gal about all the appreciation. Appreciate. There's just a lot in America. There's a lot of labeling of shit. And then promoting the. And now it's all diluted like nothing really means that much anymore. Right? Like, if. If Kylie were to say, oh, it's boss's day today, or it's, you know, vagina day today, and it's. It's taco Day today, and it's da, da, da, and it's appreciation. That's. None of it means anything to me anymore. Nothing means anything anymore because nobody saved for the good stuff.
Kylie
What about Nuclear Family Month?
Jennifer
Nuclear Family Month.
Kylie
We're celebrating that.
Jennifer
Strong Family Month. I want to celebrate weak families. I want to promote weak families. Here's how stupid is, like, Nuclear Family Month. It's just. I just. These people, they're so stupid and emotionally stunted. It's just such. I don't think there's a bigger way to tell the world you're a fan, dumbass. Who has the emotional maturity of a second grader.
Angie
Yeah.
Jennifer
Other than to post Happy Nuclear Family Day, that is. You might as well just. Riley Gaines. You. You should have just opened up your phone and said, hi, my name is Riley Gaines. I have the emotional maturity of a kindergartner. On my best day. I'm emotionally stunted. I've been religiously abused. I think my husband might be gay, and I think I might be a lesbian. Happy Nuclear Family Day. Xoxo, Riley Gaines. I would respect that and appreciate that. And I might even take a moment of silence for Nuclear Family Day if you could just fucking be honest about anything. But instead, it's all this. By God's design and God this. And it's just the Bible thumping mixed in with all the bigotry and hate is so. And if you've ever lived in the Bible Belt around these people, it is so insufferable. It is the most insufferable on the planet. I remember when my son was playing basketball his senior year, junior year and senior year, these Bible moms would get on this group. Me and want to have a prayer for the basketball game. We pray for. Pray for the team. And I was just like, that's so stupid. Like, that's. We're gonna pray for the. For these kids to beat those Kids. It's just.
Kylie
It's.
Jennifer
It's so. I could go on about it forever. I'm just so glad I don't have to live around it anymore. It was torturous living around these emotionally stunted people. Now within that. Within the red states, my friends that are liberal, who have always fought the good fight, who have, have. Who tell their gay friends they love them and go vote for them and fight against anti black racism are the best fighters this country has. But my God, the emotional stunting in Oklahoma. Do you remember when they all had a meltdown because the NBA had Black Lives Matter on the court?
Angie
Oh, yeah. They're having a meltdown right now because when Banyama didn't put his hand over his heart on the anthem, I'm like, he's French. I don't put my hand over the heart on the anthem. Them. Who gives a.
Jennifer
Who is the Oklahoma people?
Angie
No, like the NBA or sports stuff that I follow or like all these people like, I can't believe the San Antonio players don't put their hand over the heart.
Jennifer
None of them do. None of the players do.
Angie
Why do they care?
Jennifer
Why are they monitoring all this hall monitors? You put your hand up your ass during the national anthem. Why don't you take your. Take your hand and fist fuck yourself up the ass during the anthem instead of monitoring what everybody else does? I'm so sick of these MAGA hall monitors. All right, listen. Subscribe to our channel. We'll see you all later.
Angie
I'll tell you what I've had it with.
Jennifer
Let's hear it. I've had it with that.
I've Had It – Podcast Summary
Episode Title: "Grindr? I Barely Know Her"
Hosts: Jennifer Welch & Angie “Pumps” Sullivan
Date: June 9, 2026
Special Guest Recurring Contributor: Kylie
Main Theme: Discussing daily grievances—comedic venting centered on Apple product frustrations, MAGA hypocrisy, sex and gender norms, conservative sexuality obsessions, and problematic cultural trends.
In this raucous, opinionated episode, Jennifer and Angie let loose on the litany of things they've "had it" with lately, ranging from Apple technology woes and dubious software “updates” to the hypocrisy of religious and MAGA communities regarding sexuality, privacy, and control. The discussion veers into surprising admissions, pop culture observations, listener call-ins, and social commentary on family values, all laced with biting humor, explicit language, and a no-holds-barred tone.
[01:42 - 09:42]
Angie’s “Had It” List:
Jennifer’s Issues with Apple Watch:
Both lament Apple’s product changes and express anti-corporate, anti-Trump sentiments, linking CEO behavior to political allegiances.
Tone: Outspoken, frustrated, anti-corporate, anti-MAGA.
[07:31 - 09:12]
Debate over switching to Android, but derision of Android’s interface and “green text” issues—both realize their near dependence on Apple for daily routines.
Cultural critique:
[09:42 - 11:00]
[11:12 - 13:04]
Kylie reads podcast reviews: Both five-star and one-star comments, self-deprecating and embracing criticism.
“I can’t really disagree with much of that.” – Jennifer, responding to a one-star review calling them "self-righteous divas." [12:53]
Pop cultural nostalgia: Laughing about “Chicken Soup for the Soul” books.
[13:04 - 17:22]
[16:30 - 19:09]
[24:20 - 26:12]
Newshead: Launch of “Radiant Mobile,” a Christian cell service blocking pornographic and LGBTQ+ content by default.
Satirical take:
Condemnation of purity/abstinence culture for fostering shame and lack of impulse control.
[27:02 - 44:21]
"Had it with people asking stupid questions about my gay kids."
Quote: “Republican men enjoy being pegged more than Democratic men... I would also like to bring to the scientists... that Republican men cross dress at a higher rate.” – Jennifer [33:16]
Angie concurs, referencing divorce cases with similar themes.
Empathy for those forced to hide identities due to religious/family pressure. Denunciation of religious hypocrisy and double standards.
Critique of religious communities ostracizing LGBTQ+ people yet covering for straight sexual abusers.
Quote: "I want to make the country safe from straight people." – Jennifer [40:44]
[49:07 - 54:49]
Jennifer decries mandatory prayers in sports, hyperpatriotism, and the "emotional stunting" of insular communities.
Commentary on NBA/BLM uproar and national anthem policing.
Tone: Irreverent, direct, confessional, explicit, with sharp humor and social criticism. Vibe: Safe space for venting, challenging social taboos, and poking fun at hypocrisy—particularly in tech, politics, and Christianity.
Overall Takeaways:
For new and regular listeners alike, this episode is a dense, hilarious, and unfiltered rollercoaster through Apple gripes, identity politics, and the farce of virtue signaling—and it’s not afraid to challenge every sacred cow along the way.