Immediately GFYS

Summary

Podcast Summary: "I've Had It" – Episode: Immediately GFYS

Podcast Information:

• Title: I've Had It
• Hosts: Jennifer Welch and Angie “Pumps” Sullivan
• Description: A comedic, feel-good podcast where Jennifer and Angie, along with special guests, delve into various grievances listeners have, offering humor and relatable insights.
• Episode: Immediately GFYS
• Release Date: December 5, 2024

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1. Introduction to Grievances

Timestamp: [01:14] – [03:26]

Jennifer Welch opens the episode by addressing a personal grievance regarding Pumps' recent interaction with Jackson, a persistent Christmas light installer. Jackson's overly complicated approach to taking down holiday lights has been a source of frustration for Pumps, leading Jennifer to propose a strategic "offensive" approach to manage the situation.

Notable Quotes:

• Jennifer: "If we do a counter attack of psychological warfare, how does he handle it?" ([03:26])
• Pumps: "He would like it because I texted him like the first day everything was up... I just am curious if we do a counter attack of psychological warfare..." ([03:26])

2. Strategizing Against Jackson

Timestamp: [03:26] – [09:06]

Jennifer and Pumps brainstorm ways to outmaneuver Jackson's persistence. They discuss sending calculated texts and pushing for detailed discussions about the light's storage and maintenance. The hosts explore the idea of matching Jackson's enthusiasm to test his limits and possibly deter his overbearing approach.

Notable Quotes:

• Jennifer: "I want you to match that intensity and that can do attitude." ([05:04])
• Pumps: "I could put some energy into that because I have an aversion to the Christmas stuff after Christmas." ([06:54])
• Jennifer: "What's the best way for him to take them down? Is he going to start from the left or the right?" ([08:18])

3. Listener Emails and Host Responses

Throughout the episode, Jennifer and Pumps read and respond to various listener emails, each highlighting different grievances. Below is a breakdown of these interactions:

a. Vicki – Frustration with Cutesy Medical Practice Names

Timestamp: [17:20] – [19:09] Vicki expresses annoyance with medical practices adopting overly cutesy names, requesting straightforward professional titles instead.

• Vicki's Quote: "I wouldn't go to a podiatrist's office called foot fetish. I don't want a dentist who does cute. I've had it."
• Hosts' Response: Agreeing wholeheartedly with the sentiment, emphasizing the overreach of such naming conventions.

b. Jessica – Last Name Discrepancies Post-Marriage

Timestamp: [19:09] – [20:58] Jessica shares her frustration about her married name not being acknowledged by her husband's family despite 16 years of marriage.

• Jessica's Quote: "We've reminded them so many times that I don't have his last name. We've been married for 16 years."
• Hosts' Response: Jennifer discusses the societal pressures on women regarding name changes and the underlying sexism involved.

c. Allison – Misuse of "Bandwidth" in Conversations

Timestamp: [21:01] – [23:30] Allison is irritated by the overuse and misapplication of the term "bandwidth" when declining social invitations.

• Allison's Quote: "When I ask someone if they want to do lunch, and they respond with, I'm just not sure I'll have the bandwidth to do it."
• Hosts' Response: Both hosts express strong agreement, equating the misuse to trivializing language.

d. Nikki – Gun in Toy Store Review

Timestamp: [23:30] – [24:51] Nikki recounts a negative review she received after denying a customer entry with a firearm in her toy store.

• Nikki's Quote: "I've had it with gun toting. ... If you are so fucking worried about the Constitution, then why do you want to flush it down the toilet and vote for Donald Trump?"
• Hosts' Response: They passionately discuss Second Amendment issues, expressing strong anti-gun sentiments.

e. Natalie – Over-familiarity of Parents with Their Children on Social Media

Timestamp: [24:51] – [26:37] Natalie criticizes parents who excessively involve their young children in social media postings, blurring boundaries.

• Natalie's Quote: "Your elementary school daughter cannot sustain an adult friendship... Get your own age appropriate friends."
• Hosts' Response: Both Jennifer and Pumps agree, highlighting the toxicity and boundary issues in such relationships.

f. Andrea – Misuse of "Buttery Soft" as a Descriptive Term

Timestamp: [26:37] – [27:44] Andrea objects to the term "buttery soft," finding it misleading and inappropriate for describing fabrics.

• Andrea's Quote: "Buttery soft is greasy. It is slimy and it belongs on toast and popcorn."
• Hosts' Response: Jennifer praises Andrea's observation, and Angie humorously aligns with the critique.

g. Adam – Elevator Button Push Aggression

Timestamp: [27:44] – [38:45] Adam laments people who aggressively push elevator buttons, leading to unnecessary tension.

• Adam's Quote: "When you've pushed the elevator button and seconds later someone comes up behind you and pushes it again... I will break your finger."
• Hosts' Response: Both admit to sometimes engaging in similar behavior, sharing relatable frustrations.

h. Ryan – Annoyance with Mandatory Account Creations on Websites

Timestamp: [38:45] – [43:39] Ryan is exasperated by websites requiring account creation for minor conveniences, such as accessing shopping carts or obtaining discounts.

• Ryan's Quote: "Create an account for 0.0005% off your purchase. Go fuck yourself."
• Hosts' Response: They vehemently agree, criticizing the invasive nature of such practices and advocating for more straightforward transactions.

i. Jen – Pee on Public Toilet Seats

Timestamp: [43:39] – [44:33] Jen complains about individuals leaving pee on public toilet seats, urging better hygiene practices.

• Jen's Quote: "You do not have to hover, Janice... It's okay to sit your ass down and pee."
• Hosts' Response: Both emphasize proper restroom etiquette, sharing their own behaviors to mitigate issues.

j. Diana – Men Passing Gas in Yoga Classes

Timestamp: [44:33] – [46:12] Diana discusses her irritation with men who pass gas audibly during yoga sessions.

• Diana's Quote: "I'm sick of smelling men's asses in hot yoga class."
• Hosts' Response: They find the behavior unacceptable, with Pumps humorously stating she would retaliate by leaving immediately.

k. Carrie – Overuse of Vegetables in Children's Social Media Posts

Timestamp: [46:12] – [47:26] Carrie criticizes parents who post photos of their children with vegetables on Instagram, finding it absurd.

• Carrie's Quote: "Posting next to a vegetable is laughable. I just do not understand the pumpkin patch."
• Hosts' Response: Both hosts express strong agreement, joining her in the disdain for such content.

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4. Conclusion and Future Announcements

Timestamp: [47:26] – [48:18]

Jennifer and Pumps wrap up the episode by thanking listeners for their submissions and hinting at future projects, including their new podcast "I Hip News" which offers daily hot takes on the political landscape. They encourage listeners to engage with their content across various platforms and promote their upcoming ventures.

Notable Quotes:

• Jennifer: "Listen up, patriots, gayots and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped."
• Pumps: "That's the patriotism that this country needs right there."

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5. Recurring Themes and Insights

• Boundary Setting: A consistent theme is the importance of setting personal boundaries, whether it's in professional relationships, social media interactions, or public behaviors.

• Frustration with Modern Conveniences: The hosts express significant irritation with modern practices that complicate simple tasks, such as mandatory online accounts or overcomplicating service interactions.

• Advocacy for Respect and Consideration: Jennifer and Pumps frequently advocate for mutual respect and consideration in both personal and professional settings, emphasizing how small acts of mindfulness can alleviate common frustrations.

• Humor as a Coping Mechanism: Throughout the episode, humor is employed as a tool to navigate and express grievances, making the discussions both relatable and entertaining.

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6. Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Jennifer: "I want you to Be a can do customer." ([05:21])

• Pumps: "I have now got probably 15 to 20 more man hours in with this guy than I did the last time..." ([04:33])

• Jennifer: "I've had it with that." ([33:54])

• Pumps: "Don't eat it. If you don't like it, don't eat it." ([32:46])

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Conclusion: In Immediately GFYS, Jennifer and Pumps tackle a myriad of everyday frustrations, ranging from persistent service providers to oversensitive social media behaviors, all with a sharp, comedic edge. Their candid discussions and relatable anecdotes resonate with listeners who share similar grievances, making the podcast a go-to for those looking to commiserate and find humor in life's little irritations.

Transcript

[Jennifer]

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[Angie]

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[Jennifer]

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[Angie]

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[Jennifer]

So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready?

[Pumps]

One, two, three.

[Jennifer]

Patriots. Gay trios. Patriots. All right, listen up. I want to talk to you all about something I've been putting a lot of thought into. I've been thinking about this more than I care to admit, and it's regarding a grievance that Pumps had a couple weeks ago where she engaged with a man about putting up her Christmas lights. And then in turn, he wanted to have a lot of meetings, a lot of text messages, a lot of phone calls, a lot of follow up. He wanted to overcomplicate it. And it's just really been sitting in my craw. And so I've been thinking about what happens when the lights come down. And I have a proposal for you.

[Pumps]

Okay.

[Jennifer]

I say you start playing offense immediately. Okay? I mean, it's just after Thanksgiving, you have the entire month of December. And I say you start texting this guy and saying, hey, I've been thinking a lot about how we're going to get the lights down. And I want to go over a few scenarios with you. Do you have time to talk? And then you get him on the phone and no matter what, keep him on, do not let him land the plane, do not let him off the phone if he's like, well, really, I don't think it's going to be that complicated. I'm just going to come, I'll take him down, I'll roll him up. And I'm say, that might not be that complicated for you, but I'm very particular about the way my lighting is put up. I want to know how you're going to store the clips. I want to know, are you going to roll the cords clockwise? Are you going to roll them counterclockwise? Where are you going to start? What are you going to put them in? How are we going to prevent them from falling prey to insect attack during the off season? And I think together with our listener, we could make a huge punch list of stuff. And we just flood the zone. We go hard in the paint with this guy. And number one, I think it'd be a lot of fun. And number two, I just am curious, if we do a counter attack of psychological warfare, how does he handle it?

[Pumps]

Okay, just a little update on that. I don't think a counter attack would put him off. I think he would like it because I texted him like the first day everything was up, and I said, hey, my tree lights went off. He's like, oh, well, I'll be right over. And it's like 7:00 in the evening. And I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, you don't have to come over. You know, it can wait till tomorrow. I just wanted to let you know he came over that night. He came over the next three nights to double check. I had an electrician come out because he said it was something with my sockets. Then he followed up with where they were plugged in, if I liked where they were plugged in. Just yak, yak, yak. So I'm telling you, I have now got probably 15 to 20 more man hours in with this guy than I did the last time we spoke about it. So I just think he would like it. I really do. I mean, I think he would camp out in my front yard and be there toe to toe. Cannot get enough of it.

[Jennifer]

Do we think he's attracted to you?

[Pumps]

No, he's, like, young and cute. I mean, he's early 20s, attractive.

[Jennifer]

Early 20s with this kind of can do attitude.

[Pumps]

Okay, I knew you were going to say that because he does definitely get the Hustle award. There's no question about it.

[Jennifer]

I'm gonna have to give credit where credit's due. Like he cares. He cares that the lights are functioning. No, and what I want out of you is I want you to match that. I want you to match it. When he's talking about where things are plugged in. Say, what's his name?

[Pumps]

Jackson.

[Jennifer]

Jackson. Jackson. Do you think that's the best? Do you think we should use the top receptacle or maybe move it down to the bottom receptacle? What do you think with your experience? I think you need to match that intensity and that can do attitude. And I think you need to Be a can do customer.

[Pumps]

Yeah, I mean, here's the deal. I've even said, just go buy new lights. Go buy a new timer. Like, I don't give a shit. I. I just don't want to have to talk anymore. But now I'm, you know, all these days into it, I've got an electrician that's been out to double check. What I think the problem is is I have a short in the light. So I'm thinking that's where I'm going to focus my energy is in the certain strand lights that keeps going off and on. So now I think what I need to do is start pelting him every day because he has, he seems to be resistant to just going and buying some more lights. So I think what I need to start doing is start texting him every night.

[Jennifer]

That's what I'm saying. That's what I want.

[Pumps]

When are you going to replace these lights? When are you going to go buy new lights? You can't go to Home Depot. I'm anti Home Depot. But you can go to Lowe's, buy new lights, get them up. How soon can you get them up? So that's where my effort's gonna be focused is on this strand that's around the garage that works part time works.

[Jennifer]

I agree with that. But that gets us to how he's gonna take him down. Is he gonna start from the left of the house or the right of the house?

[Pumps]

You know, another thing I could do. Cause you know me, I'm like weird about, like, I'm not even putting up any Christmas stuff. Cause we're gonna be out of town over Christmas and it would literally drive me crazy thinking my tree and all that shit was up when I arrived back home. Because I usually put my stuff down like the Christmas day. So I think I should start texting him the day after Christmas. When are you getting the lights down? When are the lights coming down? How soon can you get my lights down?

[Jennifer]

Why the day after Christmas? Why not do it Christmas night?

[Pumps]

Okay, I could do that. That's. I could put some energy into that because I have a, an aversion to the Christmas stuff after Christmas.

[Jennifer]

I also think you could write him a paper that in your spare time. Yeah, like, I oppose. A lot of people extend Christmas to the new year. I oppose this. I want my lights down no later than sunset on December 26. When the birthday party's over. It's over. I don't believe in belaboring celebrations. And I think that, I think there's a lot that you two could work on together.

[Pumps]

Yeah, I could tell him I want him. Take him down left.

[Jennifer]

Let me ask you this. Are you going to use him next year?

[Pumps]

See, I thought about that.

[Jennifer]

Do you have a relationship with him now?

[Pumps]

No, but here's my problem. He does have a can do spirit. He's a hustler.

[Jennifer]

He cares.

[Pumps]

He cares. So I feel like, am I jumping? Like, okay, so the guy I used before, I had to chase him and chase him and chase him. This guy's Johnny on the spot. I mean, there's no question about that. So I think I'm probably going to use him next year because I think we'll have to have less of a relationship. Like, he will have wrapped him up, he will have labeled him, he will have done all that stuff. So I'm hoping that next year we can have less interaction. So I think I will use him next year because of the hustle and the can do spirit.

[Jennifer]

So when you get to next year, my question is, do you just say, I want you to do the exact same thing you did last year, or do you play offense and say, I'd like to mix it up a little bit.

[Pumps]

I'd like to go all different color lights, all different areas.

[Jennifer]

I'd like it timed to music. I want a musical presentation. I want to play the Nutcracker song, and I want my lights to blink in tune to that. That's what I want.

[Pumps]

Can you put a Santa face on my roof that blinks alternately?

[Jennifer]

I got something.

[Pumps]

Red, green.

[Jennifer]

I've got something. What you can say, Jackson, I don't know what your political affiliation is, but I'm one of those woke women. And so I want you to put on my roof, you trump in Christmas lights.

[Pumps]

Let's see what he says.

[Jennifer]

Do you have a problem with that?

[Pumps]

If I were guessing, I'd say probably. I mean, just based on all the stereotypical factors, he probably is a trumper. But I'm going to tell you, he's such an eager beaver. I think he'd write it. I think he'd do it because he really wants to make the customer happy.

[Jennifer]

All right, well, I've just been thinking about how this guy's been torturing you with all of this. And I thought, you know, why? Why not attack back?

[Pumps]

I'm afraid he'd like it. That's the thing. I'd still be more tortured.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. All right. Welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer.

[Pumps]

I'm Angie.

[Jennifer]

She's the star of the show. She is America's memaw. I would like to share a story from the news and I relate to this and the headline is Ohio man forced to cancel credit card to escape gym membership.

[Pumps]

So this guy here, he had to.

[Jennifer]

Cancel his credit card. So his name is Doug Madison and he just wanted to cancel his gym membership but ended up having to cancel his credit card instead. The 59 year old could no longer afford the monthly fee. So a year after he signed up, he went back to the gym's website to terminate it, but it didn't have an option for members to cancel online. So he called the gym and was told he had to come in person. So he went to the gym, but even then he couldn't cancel. He recalls the employees telling him that they didn't, quote, have the ability to stop it or do anything on it because only his gyms parent company was authorized to cancel his membership. In the meantime, he says while he's trying to do all this, they're still charging his account. So he had no option but to call the credit card and to cancel his credit card because these gems get people in a headlock and something's got to be done about it.

[Pumps]

Do you know how mad I would be if I had to cancel a card over a gym membership? Because then you have to redo every thing else.

[Jennifer]

Here's maybe another thing that you're curious. You could just hire Jackson as a full time employee to handle issues like this because at some point he's just going to beat them down right enough to where they're going to acquiesce and assuage any concern or issue that he has. And so I think maybe you launch Jackson.

[Pumps]

Yeah, just like they surrender to the constant barrage.

[Jennifer]

Kathy?

[Kathy]

Yes.

[Jennifer]

Do you have any reviews on the World wide web?

[Kathy]

I do. I also have an update on this exact topic. You know all the victory laps that we get to take because I think we make a difference when we complain about these things. As of October of this year, the FTC is finalizing a new rule called the click to cancel where businesses have to make it easy for consumers to just press cancel online on their subscription.

[Pumps]

See making change everywhere we go.

[Jennifer]

I'm going to credit ourselves to that. We share a thing.

[Pumps]

Yeah, that is long.

[Jennifer]

I'm going to say we did that. And when Stanley Cups are banned nationwide, I solely will take a solitary victory lap. I mean that will just be the sorest winter smug fest anybody's ever seen.

[Pumps]

You know what we're going to do when that happens? We're going to have Jackson make a float for you with Christmas lights. With Christmas lights.

[Jennifer]

And you know what I will do?

[Pumps]

And you can go down every street in every city in America.

[Jennifer]

And you know what I will do? I will work full time with Jackson on plans. How many options do we have, Jackson? Let's run through every single one of them. I'm even going to say let's do a rehearsal. Ooh, yeah.

[Pumps]

We'll have rehearsals, try out different lights.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Pumps]

Do you want to do led? Do you want to do soft?

[Jennifer]

Okay. I would like. Oh, do we have reviews?

[Kathy]

I've got. I've got two for you. This one is from Jason, and he writes hello to the bitch that complains and Meemaw Meat Flap. I watch your podcast while I'm at work. You guys ruin my day at work. I get so into your pods that I get pissed at every single thing that I have also had it with. I get so mad at everything that happens in the world. But you guys do always find a way to make me laugh. I look like a weird fuck laughing at myself in my office. Lots of love from Jason, a gaytriot from the Patriot State of Florida.

[Jennifer]

Ooh, that's rough. A gay trio. I feel sorry for the gay trees and all these red states. I do, too. I mean, it's tough times.

[Pumps]

Florida sucks too.

[Jennifer]

I like how he, like, hates us and thinks we're bitches, but also loves us. Right?

[Pumps]

I mean, that is.

[Jennifer]

That's the most relatable thing. Like, it's. It's so common that you love a lot about a person and also hate a lot about.

[Pumps]

Absolutely.

[Jennifer]

What's who else?

[Kathy]

Okay, this one is 5 stars from Twirly Girl and it's titled Eagle Sighting. Every episode makes me laugh out loud at least once. I was recently in Japan, missing Pumps and Jen's shows. I was on a two hour trip down the Hazegawa river in what can only be described as an oversized canoe. When the guide then pointed skyward and shouted, eagle. It was all I could do to not stand up, salute, and proudly exclaim, ca. Caw. Thanks for coming along on the river ride, Jen and Pumps.

[Jennifer]

Oh, my God, I wish to God she would have done that.

[Pumps]

That is fantastic. How funny is that? She's in Japan and she hears my ka Ka.

[Jennifer]

That is. I love it. That is so fantastic. I would have given anything for that Eagle. Ca. Caw. Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up, wouldn't you say? Pumps?

[Pumps]

I would say damn near psychotic.

[Jennifer]

Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto and the book title is Life is.

[Pumps]

A Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.

[Jennifer]

In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre order your copy now I've had It is sponsored by BetterHelp pumps this holiday season. It can be such a joyous time, but you have to make sure because you're giving, going, blowing that you pause and take some time out for your mental health. That's why I value very immensely my therapy sessions with my Better Help Therapist.

[Pumps]

Let's not kid ourselves. Holidays, being around families are tough and utilizing my Better Help Therapist helps me be more calm facing this holiday season.

[Jennifer]

Listeners, if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. What we love about it is it's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule. All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Find comfort this December with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H L P.com had it listener pamps and I have upgraded our potties to the Tushy Potty and I'm telling you guys, this is well worth it. And if you want to give the top gift to any family member something no one ever saw coming but that they will enjoy every single day of the year, multiple times a day. It's the Tushy Bidet.

[Pumps]

I love the Tushy Bidet. I feel so fresh and clean after I use it and it's so user friendly.

[Jennifer]

Right now, Tushy Bidet is dropping deep discounts on bidet life essentials that'll transform your bathroom habits and booty for life. Now's the time to back away from boring gifts and dirty habits to save on a luxury lifestyle upgrade that you'll use every day. The tissue bidet easily attaches to your existing toilet without the need for additional plumbing or electricity. Listener Give the gift of practical luxury that benefits everyone in your household. Go to hellotushy.com had it now to grab your deal before it's gone. And don't forget to give us a shout out while you're there and let them know that we sent you. Go to hellotushy.com hadit for the best gift this holiday season. All right, now we're going to move along to. We have some emails from some listeners and Vicki sent us an email said, hello, ladies. I've had it with cutesy names for dental practices. Happy, sappy or crappy teeth. Just give me the dentist's names. Gynecologists don't name their practice Vaginas R Us. Urologists don't name their practice Better boners. I wouldn't go to a podiatrist's office called foot fetish. I don't want a dentist who does cute. I've had it.

[Pumps]

I completely agree. I think cutesy names have gone over the top. I'm not necessarily just in dentistry. Like, everything, everything has to have a cutesy name. I just like, this is where you come get a hamburger. Doesn't have to be, you know, upside down and flat burger. I hate all that.

[Jennifer]

All right. Jessica sent us an email and it says, I'm a preschool assistant and I've been on summer break. You both have been keeping me laughing all summer long. I want to share. I had it. My husband and I have different last names. I kept my last name. I didn't feel the need to change my last name just because I was getting married or even having kids. So my kids have his last name and the dogs have mine. Honestly, the dogs win. My last name is way cooler. Anyway, I've had it with his family never acknowledging my last name. They continue to address me using his last name. We've reminded them so many times that I don't have his last name. We've been married for 16 years. They still ignore this and write his last name when writing my name. How hard is it to just call me by my name? Get over it.

[Pumps]

I think those people are. I think they're doing it on purpose. I think they're showing a lack of respect for her. What do you think?

[Jennifer]

Yes, I think that there's always this pressure on women to death, kneel to the man's world. And it's always. The burden is always put on us. Like, you know, you'll see in the comments section of our podcast, quit cussing. Quit cussing. These women cuss. They say God damn. And there's this burden on us. But if you listen to Joe Rogan or Bill Maher or Jon Stewart or any of these men, that is not put on them. Right. They can criticize religion, they can cuss, they can talk about politics and the burden is not put on them to be a particular way. So this is so typical of the sexism that women deal with all of the time. And a lot of it comes from other women.

[Pumps]

Right. That's what I was just getting ready to say. A lot of it is pressure from other women.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. All right. Allison sent us an email that said, I've had it with people's bandwidth. Nobody even knew what the bandwidth meant until a few years ago. Now, I ask someone if they want to do lunch, and they respond with, I'm just not sure I'll have the bandwidth to do it to do anything on Saturday. What the. Just say no. It doesn't make you sound smarter when you say it. In fact, it actually makes me hate you a little. I don't care about your bandwidth. Answer the question. I've had it, Allison. I completely agree.

[Pumps]

Completely agree. That was just a poor use of that term. She just didn't want to go to lunch.

[Jennifer]

Fuck her.

[Pumps]

Never ask her out again.

[Jennifer]

I do think after the election I used this phrase quite a bit, but.

[Pumps]

I think that was an appropriate use. Right. That was an application that was worthy. All right.

[Jennifer]

Nikki sent us an email that said, I've had it with gun toting. Had to share my recent Google review for my toy store in Edmonds, Washington. A couple came into the store on a busy Saturday full of children and families. They were greeted by an employee and asked them to please let us know if we could help with anything. Then she noticed the man had a gun and a holster on his belt. She politely told the man that firearms are not allowed in our children's store. They gave a look and left. Two days later, we got a one star review, and here it is. I cannot support this business due to their stance on the Second Amendment. It was important to me to support companies that uphold and respect our constitutional rights. Unfortunately, this business does not align with those values. So I will be taking my patronage elsewhere.

[Pumps]

Okay, this encapsulates everything I hate about these Second Amendment errors. Number one, nobody needs to take a gun into a toy store. That's one. Two. If you are so fucking worried about the Constitution, then why do you want to flush it down the toilet and vote for Donald Trump? That's two. And three. I get so tired of people acting like everybody needs a gun. And, you know, gun culture and Second Amendment. Let's discuss when the Second Amendment was written. It was muskets that took 30 minutes to fire. Now we have automatic assault rifles killing kids in schools, and nobody gives a. I've had it had it had it. I hate him. I want to take that gun, I want to shove it up his ass. All right.

[Jennifer]

Natalie says hello. I'm a longtime fan, short time listener. I would like to take this opportunity to share my I've had it experience. I have a group of friends that are younger by 10 to 18 years, new neighborhood. So some of their kids are young, about elementary school age. I see them on social media and the mom is posing with her six year old daughter with the caption, we are besties or we're twinsies all the time. No, you ratchet ass. Your elementary school daughter cannot sustain a adult friendship. You cannot talk to her about your marital woes, your stupid husband or whatever has pissed you off. Stop saying stupid ass stuff on social media. I see it all. I see it all the time. What is this obsession with wanting to be your daughter's best friend? You are her mother. Her face passed through your vagina. It reeks of desperation. Get your own age appropriate friends and quit using your kid for attention you desperately wanted from your daddy. Not fucking pretty. I agree with this. I always know it is a massive, massive red flag when the parent says the child is their best friend or the child says their parent is their best friend. You know that this is a very boundaryless, enmeshed, toxic situation. And that little kid is going to have big, big adult problems. Big.

[Pumps]

And it also tells me they can't sustain adult friendships. Like if your only friend is your 6 year old, you have some real issues.

[Jennifer]

I mean, I am so grateful that I don't know the minutia and the ins and outs that go on in my children's social lives.

[Pumps]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

Because it is none of my business. I think it is weird as when you kids tell their parents a blow by blow of what's going on in their social lives. And I remember in high school the kids that did this with their moms, their moms were the pettiest, yes, cattiest, meanest women that I ever encountered. And I just, I think you have to let your kids keep a lot of their life that is their own. Especially when they're teenagers and young adults. You, you just kind of guide as best you can. But to be all up in that shit is just weird.

[Pumps]

I always think they probably were not successful at building relationships as a young person and now they see this as their chance to like redo their high school experience, you know what I mean? Like, it's kind of like the sports parents that because they weren't super success successful in sports, they want their kid to be the next LeBron James. And if somebody wasn't, you know, had a good group of friends, now they want to be in the middle of their son or daughter's group of friends. It's always the most desperate, obnoxious, least attractive people.

[Jennifer]

Well, and I think it's, I think it's a signifier of a very broken relationship between parent and child.

[Pumps]

Well, very broken adult, for sure.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, and when the kid is valuing the friendship with the parent over their peers, like Roman loves me, but they're, they're apples and oranges. Like I, I am the. I feel the mom category. And that is it with Dylan and Roman. I don't feel the friend socializing. And I don't want to know what all goes on in their social life. They need to keep that with their peers. I think it's really weird. All right, Andrea says, you know what? I've had it with the term buttery soft. Please. Butter is not soft. It is greasy. It is slimy and it belongs on toast and popcorn. I don't my legging shirts, towels, or whatever the else to feel like greasy slime touching my body. It is the Stanley cup of descriptive phrases and should be banned. I love you guys. Andrea, just because you made the parallel right with buttery soft to Stanley cups, I will. I'm your ally and I am here to fight buttery soft as a descriptive adjective towards fabrics.

[Pumps]

I never thought about that until she just said that. And that kind of makes sense.

[Jennifer]

This holiday season, I've decided I'm going to indulge in hydration for my body. That's why I love Osea Malibu products. Their Andaria algae body butter makes my skin feel so soft, so indulgent, so luxurious. I cannot recommend it enough. It's also a great gift.

[Pumps]

What I like about it is it smells great and it's not oily. It's completely grease free.

[Jennifer]

Don't sleep on the body butter. It can help your skin have a healthy glow every day. Because skin care is self care. It's made with ingredients normally reserved for your face like andaria, seaweed and ceramides. Transforms dry crepey skin to smooth, soft and supple. Listener, Treat yourself to clean, clinically tested skincare from osea. And right now we have a special discount just for our listeners. You can get 10% off your first order site wide with the code had [e-mail] listener are you curious about ozempic or wegovy but not sure if your insurance covers it. That's where RO comes in. ROW can help you understand if GLP1s are right for you and your goals. But that's just the beginning. RO members have support throughout the process. That means no insurance paperwork and you'll have access to your provider on demand for any questions. Plus, you can sign up online from the comfort of your own home. That means no waiting for an in person doctor's appointment, no commute to the doctor's office and no waiting rooms. Join the over 250,000 people who have already chosen RO to access GLP1s listener go to ro co had it to find out if you're covered for free. That's ro co had it for boxed warning and full safety information, go to RO Co Safety prescription only. I know everybody's going to think we're a nut, but when I holiday shop, I holiday shop for my pets. My pets have a stocking and my go to source to get my little darlings everything they love is Chewy.

[Pumps]

I was just on Chewy last night getting my dog some toys and some special treats for Christmas and this time of year.

[Jennifer]

Chewy's auto ship feature is the real stress reducing hero because you can't forget about your daily and weekly food. So I've set up the recurring shipments of all the essentials that we use and they show up at my door in one to two days. I'm never running out and I can change or cancel my auto ship order at any time. Listener don't forget gifts for your pets this holiday season. Take advantage of amazing deals and shop my personal [e-mail] hadit that's chewy.com hadit chewy.com hadit all right, Lisa says. I've recently discovered this podcast and I love it. Welcome Lisa. Here's what I've had it with dog people. I've had it with them. You can't have fireworks because their dog have anxiety. Mother Nature can't have a thunderstorm because the dog is scared. And dog people assume it's okay to come to my house and bring your dog to my house because your dog is so on a pedestal that you assume the dogs are welcome. I have cats and my cats hate dogs and I have to place my cats in a room away from the dog because your dog somehow is more important than my cats. I've had it with dog people and to that Lisa, I say welcome and you back.

[Pumps]

Here's the deal. I agree with her. I'm a huge dog Person. I would not take my dog to somebody's house.

[Jennifer]

Oh, I would.

[Pumps]

You would? I mean, like, to my house.

[Jennifer]

Yes.

[Pumps]

But you wouldn't like.

[Jennifer]

Oh, yeah.

[Pumps]

Roll up to Liz's with your dog.

[Jennifer]

I have.

[Pumps]

Oh, see, I think that's rude.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. All right. Alex says, hey, pumpers. Ms. Jennifer Lemon. Oh, thank you. My husband.

[Pumps]

Oh, Don.

[Jennifer]

Don and Kylie, can we please discuss how annoying people are who do not like cilantro? Listen, these people are in a cult. Why is it that cilantro comes up in a conversation or situation? There is always someone that will say, oh, I don't like cilantro. I have that gene that makes it taste like soap. Excuse me. First and foremost, nobody gives a. Secondly, what is the gene? Can you name it? Were you diagnosed by a medical professional? Like it's some sort of condition? Why have I had this same conversation consistently every time the word cilantro is even mentioned? No, nobody gives a. I've had it. A loyal Gatriot. Alex.

[Pumps]

See, I. There was an article or some study that came out a few years ago that was either you like cilantro or you don't. And I remember after that, everybody started talking about whether or not they like cilantro. But I'm with. I mean, I'm with Gatriot. Who gives a fuck? Don't eat it. If you don't like it, don't eat it. We don't have to make a production out of it.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, I just get so tired of when somebody doesn't like something, it becoming this huge topic. For example, Josh Welch hates blue cheese. He hates it if. If there is a cheese that is blue cheese adjacent and has just a slight hint of a blue cheese taste, he freaks out, calls the waiter over. We're sending stuff back. It's stage five meltdown. It's just. I. I can't take it. I mean, it's just the food preferences that people have. I'm able to go sit down pretty much 98% of the time and just eat what's served. And if I don't like it, I just kind of smush it around on my plate a little bit. I'll even. Do you ever do this? I'll even, like, scrape it to where it looks like I ate more. Yes.

[Pumps]

I've done that before. If I was at somebody's house or something. Yeah.

[Jennifer]

If it wasn't good, I'll just scrape it over and it. Just to avoid anything about talking about it. So when people, like, die on a hill about cilantro or blue Cheese or mayonnaise. And we have to go on and on about it and belabor it in general terms. Shut the up.

[Pumps]

I agree.

[Jennifer]

I've had it with that. Okay, Adam. Michael says when you've pushed the elevator button and seconds later someone comes up behind you and pushes it again as if to say I didn't press it good enough and now the elevator is coming. I will break your finger. Back up. Dale. I have to say I agree with this, but I also do it.

[Pumps]

I was going to say you're guilty of that.

[Jennifer]

I. I agree and I do it. Yeah. Because I've been the first pusher and then some will come up from behind me and do a double push and I think, you fucking dick, I just pushed. It's illuminated.

[Pumps]

Right?

[Jennifer]

But if somebody else says it then I go up and go, oh, oh yeah, it's already pushed.

[Pumps]

Yeah, I'm kind of the same way. It's just one of those things. All right.

[Jennifer]

Ryan says, long time lurker. First time bitching. I'm in college as an early 40 something and I've had it with this plague of create an account nonsense for certain important things like utilities, credit cards, other bills and my student portal. I understand it, but I currently have five different logons to five different websites to access e text textbooks for classes. But then there's this horseshit on regular websites of create an account for.0005% off your purchase. Go fuck yourself, Linda. I just want to buy your goddamn shoes. Stay up to date with your newsletter. Create an account so you never miss anything. No, I'm just buying sponges. I don't need some sponge related newsletters every other day. Then there are the ones that treat their website like an exclusive club and you have to create an account to even browse. It's gotten so bad that if a website doesn't have a quote check out as a guest, it's an immediate go yourself. Nothing has made in person shopping more attractive than having to create one more goddamn account. P.S. i love the show Ryan. I agree with this 100 and it. I am so adverse to joining these clubs that whether it's on a website or if I'm at a store and they say what is your email? And they want my email information to check out. I have just refused to give it. I said I don't wish to give out that information. Well, what is your cell phone number? I don't wish to give out that information. Well, we keep everything here in case you need to do a return. I don't Want to do any of it. And then at the end, do you want to join the club?

[Pumps]

No.

[Jennifer]

And it gets even worse than just the checkout. The other day I was on a website trying to buy something you're on and you're just starting to scroll down and you're honing in on maybe this hoodie that you like, right? And then all of a sudden the pop up comes, yep, join our club for 15 off. And then you exit out and it's like, are you sure? Yeah.

[Pumps]

Yep.

[Jennifer]

And it's like, no, I'm sure.

[Pumps]

Right.

[Jennifer]

If I join the club, I want it to be my idea, not your idea. I don't want to be bribed into joining the club with some discount. I don't want any part of any of it. And so I think that there needs to be some business leadership and all these advertising executives that say, I've got it. Let's brand as. We don't want your email. We don't want you to join a club. Come here. One click, get the out of our lives. I would shop exclusively there.

[Pumps]

That's a huge branding opportunity.

[Angie]

Yeah.

[Pumps]

Because I get so sick of it. And have you ever been on those sites that you're, it's in your cart, you're doing it, you're getting ready to pay and they say, do you want the newsletter? Whatever. And you leave it blank and it won't let you buy it until you click. You want the newsletter. Have you had one of those?

[Jennifer]

Yes, but I've also had where I put something in a cart and then I've abandoned the cart, right? Because I've decided I don't want it. I'm like, well, what if this company has one that's even better than this one? And then I get an email and I haven't entered my email that says you left your cart. Would you still like to continue shopping? And I just think this is a lot of nerve. That is if I want to abandon my make believe shopping cart.

[Pumps]

Right.

[Jennifer]

Let me do it in privacy. Let me leave that debris on the Internet. You don't need to come do a follow up with me about my cart. That really pissed me off.

[Pumps]

Yeah, I've never even heard of that.

[Jennifer]

Okay. Jen sent us an email that says, hi, friends, I've had it with finding pee on women's public toilet seats. You do not have to hover, Janice. Even though your memo told you that you might get the clap from sitting on a public toilet seat, that's not how she contracted it. It. I promise it's okay. To sit your ass down and pee and don't forget to wash your goddamn hands. Love you all. A true Gatrik. All right, Jen, here's what I'm going to tell you. I'm a hoverer, but I'm a wiper. Yeah, I hover and then I take toilet paper and I leave the toilet in the manner. In the fashion that I would like to receive it.

[Pumps]

Yeah, I always just plop down. I mean, I make sure. I mean, I wipe it first, but I always just plop down. I don't worry about it. It. But I hate if I'm like in a super hurry or I have to pee really bad and I don't have an opportunity to wipe. Like it's usually at like a game or a concert or something where it's packed bathroom and you're just going in and out super fast and you plop down on somebody's urine. It's gross. Everybody should wipe after they have her.

[Jennifer]

Diana says. Hello, ladies. I'm writing to tell you about a recent and ongoing I've had it experience. First, let me say I am not a man hater. My best friend is my husband and he's a man. I grew up with all brothers whom I love and respect. What I do not understand and what I've had it with is men in yoga class who think it's okay to show up late, crowd into any space they like, and then pass gas audibly throughout the class. I've practiced yoga for decades. Women don't behave this way. Women are mindful and considerate. I'm sick of smelling men's asses in hot yoga class and I've had it. Thank you for the opportunity to vent. Namaste.

[Pumps]

I have never heard of such a thing. Audibly passing gas more than once. Like, if I audibly pass gas and yoga, I would run out and you would never see my face there again as long as I live. I mean, that's bad.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, that's just. I mean, especially hot. She's been doing it for decades. The women don't do this. The men do this. And I just, you know, I'm not a man hater either, but there are just certain things that women in general take a little bit more care to.

[Pumps]

Right.

[Jennifer]

That men don't. And I would think probably farting and exercise class might be one of them.

[Pumps]

Right?

[Jennifer]

I would hope. Okay. Natalie sent us an email and she said, I've had it with, every time I go anywhere, I got to fill out a goddamn survey about my experience. Take My kid to the doctor, Fill out the survey. Bought a candle at anthropology. Fill out the survey. Went to the pumpkin patch radar service. No, Absolutely not. Bloody hell. Why every place I gotta tell them what I think. I'm not getting paid. There's no coupon attached to filling out this 10 minute long survey. Get bent.

[Pumps]

Yeah. No, I hate that shit.

[Jennifer]

It is. It is so frustrating because recently I got one of these surveys and I just deleted it and immediately sent it to my junk folder, my email box. Two days later, we're still waiting on your survey.

[Pumps]

No. They shamed you.

[Jennifer]

Yes. And I immediately just deleted it again. And I just. Why does everybody want so much out of us, right?

[Pumps]

Why do they even care?

[Jennifer]

Why do you want us to join the club? Why do you want us to fill out a survey? Why does your light guy want to have 95,000 meetings? Why do people want so much out of us?

[Pumps]

I don't know. I mean, I think it's a great point.

[Jennifer]

Like, isn't it enough just to give somebody your business? Right? Why do you then have to survey them, get them to join your make believe club, terrorize their email box by sending them newsletters that nobody gives a shit about? And who are the animals that enjoy this shit? Being in the club, receiving the newsletter. I know you like a survey.

[Pumps]

I like a political survey.

[Jennifer]

Okay?

[Pumps]

But my question is, like, isn't like the Yelp review or the customer reviews online? Why isn't that enough? Why do we have to do direct access? Why can't we just allow the people that want to do it, the other people, leave them alone?

[Jennifer]

I just. I don't know why people want so much out of being a customer. Why can't you just be a customer? Pay and then that be the end of it, right?

[Pumps]

That. That's the end of the relationship. We don't need to belabor it.

[Jennifer]

Just transactional.

[Pumps]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

And then it's over. Don't feign that you care about continuing this relationship by terrorizing our email inboxes and sending us surveys. We know you don't give a shit.

[Pumps]

And you're not going to change what you're doing.

[Jennifer]

Everybody knows that. It's all for the grift.

[Pumps]

Yep.

[Jennifer]

All right, let's do the last one here. Carrie says, I had it with Instagram. Parents posting photos of their babies next to pumpkins. I dread the fall. I'm British, where the idea of posting next to a vegetable is laughable. I just do not understand the pumpkin patch. You are choosing a vegetable. Do it at Whole Foods. Or Trader Joe's. How is that fun? I have to stay off of social media until the season passes because I lose all respect for my friends when they post the fucking pictures. Here's my child with a vegetable. I've had it. You know what? I've been looking for new stuff to be pissed off about. I like it. I join you, Carrie. This is right in my wheelhouse. I agree. Quit photographing your children with vegetables.

[Pumps]

I just love her.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, I think that's excellent. All right, well, I think that is all that we have time for today. And I'd like to thank all of our emailers for sending us some great new inspiration.

[Pumps]

Right, because.

[Jennifer]

Hatespiration.

[Pumps]

Hatespiration. I like that phrase.

[Jennifer]

Yes, because we need more things to be irritated with as we navigate the next four years, as we navigate the Internet. And we need more grievances to stick into our handy dandy filing system, which all of our Gen Z and millennial listeners make fun of us for having. But we don't care.

[Pumps]

We don't care. We like it.

[Jennifer]

All right, listen, we don't have any shows coming up, but we do have a Blue sky Account, a YouTube channel. So join us in all of those places. Pumps.

[Pumps]

Tell them we will see next Tuesday and Thursday and order our book. I'll tell you what I've had it with. Let's hear it.

[Jennifer]

I've had it with that. Listen up, patriots, gayots and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called I Hip News. It's Monday through Friday. Every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape the United States of America. Always served with a side of petty grievances.

[Pumps]

We are on all the available platforms. Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.

[Jennifer]

Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind. Pumps. Pumps. What does an eagle say?

[Pumps]

Ca caw.

[Jennifer]

A little bit more enthusiasm.

[Pumps]

Ca caw.

[Jennifer]

That's it.

[Pumps]

That's.

[Jennifer]

That's. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there. Gifting is hard, but here's a hint. Give the gift of connection from US Cellular. Not sure what that means. Here's a slightly more specific hint. You can choose four free phones and get four lines for $90 a month from US Cellular. Your family wants new phones? How do we know? Well, they told us. The good news is that compared to wrapping presents, you're great at getting hints. So take the hint and get them four free phones and four lines for $90 a month. US Cellular built for us.

[Pumps]

Hey comedy fans, the funniest comedians in the world are on tour and you can get tickets to see them live near you. Laugh at the biggest names in comedy like Atsuko Okatsuka, Chelsea Handler, Corey Holcomb, Matt Matthews, Nurse John, Ralph Barboza, Ronnie Chang, Sarah Silverman, Sebastian Maniscalco, Wanda Sykes, and so many more. All kinds of shows, all kinds of venues, all kinds of funny. Head to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today. That's livenation.comcomedy.

[Angie]

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[Jennifer]

Two more rest.

[Angie]

Two more, you deserve this ice cold reward. Medela the Market Drink responsibly. Beer imported by Crowning Port Chicago, Illinois.