Leader of Stupid People

Summary

Podcast Summary: "I've Had It" – Episode "Leader of Stupid People"

Release Date: January 7, 2025
Hosts: Jennifer Welch and Angie “Pumps” Sullivan

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Introduction

In the episode titled "Leader of Stupid People," hosts Jennifer Welch and Angie “Pumps” Sullivan delve into a variety of everyday frustrations, blending humor with sharp social commentary. The conversation spans from unsolicited interactions in public spaces to broader societal issues, all delivered with the podcast's signature comedic flair.

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Unsolicited Conversations in Public Restaurants

Angie opens the discussion by expressing her annoyance with strangers who overstep social boundaries in restaurants.

• Timestamp [01:44] Angie shares her recent experience: “I was just in a restaurant. These people next to us were explaining the menu to us unsolicited. They just start talking and I am just like, shut the f*** up.”

Jennifer echoes Angie's sentiments, humorously contemplating extreme responses to such encounters.

• Timestamp [02:35] Jennifer remarks, “I think maybe I need to go full blown agoraphobic and just not leave the house.”

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Humorous Insights on Their Dogs' Behavior

The hosts take a comedic detour into discussing their pets' peculiar behaviors, anthropomorphizing their dogs as homosexual beings.

• Timestamp [03:03] Jennifer introduces, “Oliver Glizzard is homosexual.”
• Timestamp [04:39] Angie adds, “I have a gay Siberian husky too. It's interesting to me that both my dogs are gay.”

This lighthearted segment highlights their personal lives while adding a humorous twist to pet ownership.

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The Loud Spectator at the Oklahoma City Thunder Game

Jennifer recounts a frustrating experience at an NBA game where a fellow spectator monopolized the conversation with a loud and lengthy story about nearly being scammed.

• Timestamp [04:11] Jennifer describes the incident: “…Shut the f*** up. Maybe talk to your friends about this before the game, maybe after the game.”

Angie empathizes, reinforcing the collective irritation shared by the group.

• Timestamp [07:16] Angie concurs, “It was that bad.”

Notable Quote:

• Timestamp [08:03] Jennifer vehemently states, “I think he should be banned from the arena and from all NBA games, just moving forward henceforth. I think he should. I think it should be a permanent ban.”

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Airline Etiquette and Entitlement

Angie shares a story about a confrontational encounter at the airport, where a passenger aggressively demanded her attention over a lost bag.

• Timestamp [15:08] Angie narrates, “I was going to be a complete cunt about it.”

Jennifer critiques the behavior, labeling it as a display of entitlement and lack of self-awareness.

• Timestamp [17:23] Jennifer comments, “Entitlement and lack of self-awareness, in my opinion.”

Notable Quote:

• Timestamp [18:12] Jennifer reflects on societal issues: “There's a problem in this country with white women... you think about that long and hard.”

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Listener Voice Memos: Overperforming Proposals and Sharing Kids' Photos

Christmas Proposals Overload
Listener Matt expresses frustration with the surge of Christmas proposals, deeming them unoriginal and intrusive.

• Timestamp [32:21] Matt states, “Everyone does it. It is December 26th... you're ruining Christmas.”

Jennifer and Angie react humorously, linking the trend to broader societal critiques.

• Timestamp [33:20] Jennifer: “This is a problem born out of Trumpism...”

Sharing Kids' Photos
Listener Sarah vents about receiving unsolicited pictures of others' children, finding them unappealing and irrelevant.

• Timestamp [36:25] Sarah declares, “I do not care. You’re showing me this to make you feel better.”

Jennifer’s Commentary:

• Timestamp [37:37] Jennifer empathizes, criticizing the oversharing culture: “Nobody wants to watch anybody else's vacation video.”

Notable Quotes:

• Timestamp [34:11] Angie humorously laments overperforming engagements: “You have to quote Mariah Carey on your post, don't you?”
• Timestamp [39:24] Angie emphasizes exclusivity: “No randoms.”

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Critical News Segments: Emotional Maturity, Environmental Sabotage, and Literacy Rates

Emotional Maturity Study
Jennifer discusses a study indicating that men reach full emotional maturity at 43, whereas women do so at 32.

• Timestamp [27:04] Jennifer states, “men reach full emotional maturity at 43 and women do at 32.”

Environmental Sabotage for Personal Gain
A bizarre case from 1993 involves a man intentionally causing a massive flood to delay his wife's return home.

• Timestamp [28:27] Jennifer reveals, “James Scott... to delay his wife's return home so he could continue partying.”

Low Literacy Rates in the U.S.
Jennifer highlights alarming statistics about literacy, linking it to broader societal issues and political incompetence.

• Timestamp [29:09] Jennifer critiques, “this low literacy rate... cause damage to the country as a whole by electing a man who himself reads at a fifth grade level.”

Notable Quote:

• Timestamp [30:27] Angie adds, “Do not under understand contractions. Don't know the difference between T O and T O O.”

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Globalization of MAGA Merch and Political Entitlement

Listener Matt from Canada criticizes Canadians wearing American MAGA merchandise, viewing it as misplaced and indicative of rising global fascism.

• Timestamp [42:24] Matt expresses, “stupid Canadians wearing Donald Trump merch in Canada.”

Jennifer and Angie respond vehemently, denouncing the behavior as a symbol of entitlement and lack of intelligence.

• Timestamp [44:40] Jennifer: “I just think that he is the leader for stupid people.”

Notable Quotes:

• Timestamp [44:40] Angie: “They think he's attractive, they think he's charismatic...”

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Holiday Etiquette and Relationship Dynamics

Angie discusses her tumultuous relationship with Jackson, relating it to holiday stress and social expectations.

• Timestamp [53:35] Angie questions, “Why would Jackson the le. The Christmas lights guy send me a Christmas card?”

Jennifer mocks the situation, highlighting the absurdity of the unreciprocated gesture amid their strained interactions.

• Timestamp [55:00] Jennifer teases, “How dare you do this to me...”

Notable Quote:

• Timestamp [51:33] Jennifer declares, “I will not enable.”

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Final Thoughts and Podcast Promotions

As the episode wraps up, Jennifer and Angie promote their upcoming projects and encourage listeners to engage with their content across various platforms. They also introduce their new podcast, IHIP News, offering daily political hot takes.

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Conclusion

"Leader of Stupid People" is a whirlwind of candid frustrations, humorous anecdotes, and sharp societal critiques. Jennifer and Angie skillfully navigate through personal stories and broader issues, all while maintaining an engaging and comedic tone. The episode serves as a relatable outlet for listeners who share the hosts' exasperations with everyday annoyances and larger societal problems.

Notable Overall Quotes:

• Timestamp [12:57] Jennifer: “Arenas are loud, and you anticipate that. What you don't anticipate is somebody who's off script.”
• Timestamp [33:25] Angie: “Both surprisingly divorced within five years.”

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This detailed summary encapsulates the key discussions and highlights from the episode, providing a comprehensive overview for those who haven't had the chance to listen.

Transcript

[Jennifer]

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[Angie]

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[Jennifer]

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[Angie]

Ready? One, two, three.

[Jennifer]

Patriots Gay Trots Theatriots. Oh my God. 2025.

[Angie]

We're ready.

[Jennifer]

We are ready to rock and roll. Into it pumps. What have you had it with?

[Angie]

Okay, what I've had it with is when you are at a restaurant and the diners at the table seated next to you act like you're one big party and start talking to you. I was just in a restaurant. These people next to us were explaining the menu to us unsolicited. They just start talking and I am just like, shut the fuck up. Why are you talking to me? We are not here together. We don't know each other. I don't want you to be at my dinner. The tables were pretty close. Having close tables is not an invitation for you to invite yourself to my dinner, nor am I going to invite myself to your dinner. Stay in your lane. Stay at your table. Stay out of my conversation. Had it.

[Jennifer]

I completely agree. I, you know, as everybody knows, I'm trying to talk to people less. And so when these type of things happen, then I think maybe I need to go full blown agoraphobic and just not leave the house.

[Angie]

Agree. I've told my kids that recently. I'm going to start telling people that I'm agoraphobic. That will save me from so many opportunities to go out and be social. You know what my kids say. Everybody already thinks you are agoraphobic.

[Jennifer]

You are agoraphobic.

[Angie]

I am. I just want to be with my dog. I don't like people as much as I like my dog.

[Jennifer]

I, as a lot of our listeners know, you've been out of town and I kept your dog, which is the.

[Angie]

Sweetest, kindest thing anyone could ever do for me.

[Jennifer]

I have a few things I need to tell you.

[Angie]

Okay.

[Jennifer]

First of all, Oliver Glizzard is homosexual.

[Angie]

I'm so happy because his collar's rainbow.

[Jennifer]

So how I know this is he? I took him to the cemetery with my dogs to run him about three different times a day. Because he's a puppy. He needs a lot of exercise. I know that at your house, you know, it's full blown dark in the middle of the day. Everybody lounges 10 hours at a time. So this dog had a lot of pent up energy that needed to be run. So I run into my sister's second ex husband at the cemetery and he's running his dog, a lab named Woody. Woody's for sure homosexual. He's always trying to have sex with my dog, Tubby. Tubby is not that interested in the homosexual sex. I think he's more asexual.

[Angie]

Yeah, I was gonna say I think he's asexual.

[Jennifer]

Oliver Glizzard, your dog was all in. All in. He loved it. So Woody, giant lab would mount little French bulldog puppy. And there was a lot of gyrating and things going on. And Gliz just seemed to absolutely love it. Glizzy, you have a gay dog. And he is so proud. He is out. He is happy in his sexuality. It was fantastic.

[Angie]

It makes me so happy. He can be who he wants to be. And you know, I have a gay Siberian husky too.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Angie]

It's interesting to me that both my dogs are gay.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Angie]

But I feel like I'm a really good gay mom.

[Jennifer]

I do too.

[Angie]

I feel like that I'm open, I encourage it. I want it for them if that's what they want. I'm super proud of them. And I absolutely love that he found a lab that he likes.

[Jennifer]

He did. He did. All right. Let me tell you what I've had it with. I have had it with. It's very similar to your grievance. So over the Christmas break, Josh and Dylan and Roman and I went to an Oklahoma City Thunder game. And we all love basketball, going to NBA games. So fun. So there's a Guy sitting right behind us. And he shows up a few minutes late. So it's after tip off, and he begins to tell his friends sitting next to him the story about almost getting scammed. And it's similar to the story that you had where the Oklahoma County Sheriff Office called, right? So he's telling his friends about his close call with getting scammed. The problem is he's screaming at the top of his lungs. And the story goes on and on and on in precise detail. And then I said this, and then he said this, and then I was like, oh, my God. And I was like, oh, shit, I'm going to get arrested. And he screaming fever pitch at the top of his lungs. Josh, Dylan, Roman, and myself were all just like, jesus Christ, buddy. Shut the fuck up. Shut up. Shut the fuck up. Maybe talk to your friends about this before the game, maybe after the game. Maybe lower your voice a few octaves. I don't know if you want everybody in the Paycom arena to hear this story, but the majority of us came here to watch the basketball game, and we can't watch it with any form of pleasure because you're so obnoxious, so loud and so proud that you have a juicy story to tell your friends. And it was just miserable. And then after that, he continued at the same octave and it got so bad that Josh finally goes, how big is that guy? Turn around and look at him. Because you think if I just clocked him, you think he could beat me up? And I'm like, we're not going to, you know, clock the guy. Of course, Josh, you know, it's all talk, no action. But it was. It was.

[Angie]

It was that bad.

[Jennifer]

It was awful. I hate this guy. I want everybody in the Oklahoma City area to know, I think this is section 106. I was in row A. He would have been in row B. You loudmouth, yak mouth. The basketball games are not about you. We're there to watch these elite athletes dribble the ball, shoot the ball, pass the ball, do all the cool, swaggy stuff that NBA basketball players do. I didn't want to hear about your lame ass almost getting scammed. It was. It was so awful. I really dislike this guy. I think he should be banned from the arena and from all NBA games, just moving forward henceforth. I do. I think he should. I think it should be a permanent ban.

[Angie]

Here's the thing about that. A couple questions. So did his friends seem to be enjoying his story during that period of time? Because I'm with you. If you pay money to go see a professional basketball game, which are limited. There's not one every single day or twice a day. And this guy comes in, number one late and tells a story and monopolizes the whole section around him. Get. Get the fuck out. Nobody's here for you and your stupid story. So did his friends act like he was obnoxious? Were they trying to kind of ignore him and watch the game?

[Jennifer]

So his. Here's what I noticed.

[Angie]

He. If.

[Jennifer]

If his voice quiet, inside voice being a one and screaming at the top of his lungs, a nuclear war is about to happen. Everybody take cover. Is a 10. This guy was a 14, okay? So as he's screaming at the top of his lungs about, you know, barely dodging this scam, that scam caller, I noticed he said a 14. And I noticed his friends responded around a two or three. And then he would go on and elaborate. And I kept just turning around and kind of looking at him like, dude, shut the fuck up. Maybe go to the bar in the arena and then tell your friends all of this there. Why are you ruining this for everybody? Why are you making this all about you? So the friends engaged with him, but I could tell that they didn't match the intensity of his loudness. I think what we have in this situation is a grandstander, okay? And a showboater. Probably nothing cool has happened to him in at least a decade. And him almost getting scammed by these scammers that almost scammed you, and him cracking the case was just fantastic for him. And he wanted everybody in the Oklahoma City area to be abundantly aware that he almost got scammed. And then he almost. And then he cracked the case. And then he diverted getting scammed, and he wanted everybody to know. And I want everybody in the Oklahoma City area and at large internationally to know that I feel dumber, angrier, and have less serenity for having sat in front of this motherfucker for that NBA game. It was awful. I hate him. I hate his voice. It is. I imagine, if I believed in an afterlife, if you end up in hell, that man would be the greeter at the gates of hell. He would greet you.

[Angie]

He would be next to you, scream eternity.

[Jennifer]

And he wouldn't even need a bullhorn because he's that loud. Welcome to hell. I can just sing scams this way. Yeah.

[Angie]

You know what's so funny about all that? If he only knew that I almost got scammed by that same scam, and it was so infantile and poorly executed by the scammer. That even I cracked the case. So really, there's nothing for him to be bragging about that he averted it.

[Jennifer]

Let me tell you the one thing that I was able to get gratitude during this horrible. At least 20 minutes of him telling the story. While I'm trying to watch this basketball game. The only, only thing that brought me solace is saying to myself, thank fucking God Pumps is not here. Because she would whiplash around at the top of her lungs and say, oh, my God, the same thing happened to me because you have one volume, and that is loud, extra loud. And I just thought, the best thing that's happened to me today is that Pumps is not at this basketball game with me. Although I love her, although she's my soulmate, I would give her a kidney. I'm so fucking glad that that yak mouth is not with this yak mouth, because the entire basketball game would be about these scams. They would be best friends, and I would hate, hate both of them so much. I don't know that I could recover.

[Angie]

It was the best thing that happened to you that I wasn't there, and the worst thing that happened to you that he was there. But you know what? You're 110% right. Had I been there, whiplash to get around. And we could compare notes at the highest volume level in recorded.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, that was the one little glass of lemonade I was able to squeeze out of this horrific situation. And I have to say, you know, arenas are loud, and you anticipate that. What you don't anticipate is somebody who's off script.

[Angie]

Right.

[Jennifer]

Him getting scammed has nothing to do with Oklahoma City Thunder and their amazing season that they're having. It has nothing to do with that. If I wanted to listen to that bullshit, I'd come here and record this podcast with you.

[Angie]

You would not hold an arena hostage.

[Jennifer]

Right. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer.

[Angie]

I'm Angie.

[Jennifer]

She's the star of the show. She's fresh back from Europe. And let me tell two.

[Angie]

Two little quick stories. One, walking through the Chicago airport. The very, very first thing I see as I'm walking, and, you know, I've been completely devoid of MAGA for a week. Happy? I walk by and there's a guy watching Steve Bannon's podcast on his iPad. It was like the first thing I laid my eyes on was someone sitting where I was walking off the plane watching that. And I just thought, how in the fuck are people this fucking pathetic? This guy is a criminal. He it just. I couldn't believe it was the first thing I saw. It was like, hey, you're back in the usa. I'm in a ram. Maggish. Straight up your ass. No lube, Immediately. Just fucking. Here you are, bend over, take it. So that was just like, okay, you're fucking back, bitch. The war room is on. So then as I'm getting off the 15th hour of a flight, of course, my darling children, one of them forgot the overhead check bag, or what do you call it? The carry on bag. So we're walking and I'm like, hey, where's the blue bag? Nobody has it. So I have my AirPods in. I turn around, I walk back on the plane. I'm getting the thing. You would have thought that I had an AK47 and was mowing down people on the plane. I mean, there was a guy chasing me, acting like a nut because I got back on the plane. Well, I had my ear bud things in, so I didn't hear it. So he's like. I turned around and he's like this far from my face. He's like, you can't be on the. I mean, he's like, full blown flop sweating panic attack, okay? And I'm just like, I just got off the plane. I left my bag. It's. I'm fine. So he gets off the plane, he starts on and on and on about how once you get off the plane, you can't get back on the plane. He's like lecturing me at this point, I am beyond tired and irritable and I. All I can hear him say over my music is, you had your earbuds on. So I immediately go into full blown sassy Karen mode. And I'm like, oh, so you can't wear earbuds on a plane? I didn't know that. He's like, no, but I mean, I was trying to talk to you about your earbuds. I go. So I just kept going. So you're saying it's illegal to have earbuds on a plane? No. Da, da, da, da. So could I have walked back on the plane if I didn't have my earbuds in? He got so exasperated and so, I mean, he was just so upset and I was so pleased with myself that I got him into a complete tizzy over my bag. And my oldest son was standing there and he was like, as we're walking back, I get the bag, he looks at me and goes, you are such a sassy Karen bitch. I cannot believe the way you Acted. I was like, really? You can't believe it? Because I would think it was pretty believable. I mean, I just took that motherfucker around the corner 15 times over the earbuds and acted like I never got what he was trying to say. I fucking loved it.

[Jennifer]

I have to say there's a cringy level of entitlement that when you're telling me that story, that I kind of cringed for you.

[Angie]

Why?

[Jennifer]

Because you, you can't. When you have to enter back onto a plane, it's just known that you would stop and say, hey, I left my bag. Can I get back on here? You can't just plow back onto an airplane. And then to not have your volume turned down so you can communicate with them seems disrespectful to the people that work on the plane. And I, I am kind of that I've left something on a plane before, and I, you know, say, hey, I left something on the plane. Can I get it? And they're like, wait, please wait right here. There's like a procedure for it.

[Angie]

Yeah, I didn't know that.

[Jennifer]

And you just entitled walking right back on and then. And not having your volume turned down so that you could communicate with them about what you're doing. I kind of give you a little demerit for that.

[Angie]

You think I'm the minus reeks of.

[Jennifer]

Entitlement and lack of self awareness, in my opinion.

[Angie]

There's no question it was lack of self awareness. And what I should have done when he got onto me was say, oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry. I had no idea that was the rules, but I was just tired and cranky enough to be a complete cunt about it. And I liked it. I got, I liked it a little bit that he got so upset because I just wouldn't go around the turnstar with him.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, I, I feel bad for these people that work in. In these situations that have to deal with people that lack self awareness and have just breathtaking amounts of entitlement.

[Angie]

Yeah. And I had all of them. And I, I loved it, though. I did. I loved it.

[Jennifer]

This is not good for white women. I'll tell you what. What we have right here is white women determined in a large part the state of this election. So you think about that long and hard.

[Angie]

Do I want to be in that boat?

[Jennifer]

You think about that long and hard on inauguration day. You think about the way you treated that person. Yeah. Doing the job and he's screaming and you, you don't have the decency to turn your earpods down. I'm Team Airlines. I'm Team Him. I've been with you when you've acted this entitled before. I don't like it. It's not attractive. It's not becoming.

[Angie]

Oh my gosh. I just remembered something. So I was putting my bra on after the 10 hour flight and I had my bra off. I took it off and I thought, I'm going to put my bra on. I thought, oh, I can just put it on in my seat. That's easy. I've got a double. I've got a shirt and a sweatshirt on. This will be no problem.

[Jennifer]

Flash, everybody.

[Angie]

Flash.

[Jennifer]

I knew it.

[Angie]

Everybody. I mean, I had to like put my arms back in and go to the bathroom because it was so bad. I mean, I look down and my entire boobs are out. Thankfully for all the other passengers, nobody saw it but me. But no, it was bad. It was like. Why did you think you could put your bra on in your seat? Because you just flashed an entire plane.

[Jennifer]

I just think that this is a. There's a problem in this country with white women. And I've been talking to you for a very long time about your flirtation with Karen in them. And I thought we made progress. And here we are in 2025 and you're treating the guy that works at of all places at the airport with all of the terrible people that you described yourself. As you walk back in, that guy sitting there watching the war room with Steve Bannon and you have your volume up all the way as high as you can parade back on the plane without asking if you can going against traffic. He's probably screaming and I can understand that. His heart rate was probably so high like, ma'am, stop. Ma'am, stop. And you're just ignoring, ignoring, ignoring because you didn't have the decency. This is a relapse of epic proportions. After all of the progress we made as a community, as patriots, gaytriots, theatriots. And so I just. On inauguration day, just think about the role white women played in that. And then I want you to think about the way you treated that man and how proud of yourself that you are.

[Angie]

Right. How much I like that.

[Jennifer]

I think if you're a part of the problem or part of the solution.

[Angie]

Okay, I will.

[Jennifer]

Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up, wouldn't you say, Pumps?

[Angie]

I would say damn near psychotic.

[Jennifer]

Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto and the book title is Life is.

[Angie]

Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.

[Jennifer]

In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre order your copy. Now it is January. It is freezing outside and the one thing I look forward to after I get out of the shower when my feet are so cold is slipping them into Bombas socks.

[Angie]

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[Jennifer]

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[Angie]

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[Jennifer]

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[Angie]

It's unbelievable how many people try to be something they're not on dating apps. And what I love about eharmony is it's real people for real relationships.

[Jennifer]

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[Kathy]

We do. This one actually pumps. Let's add more like food for thought for your behavior.

[Angie]

Oh, gosh, Here we go.

[Kathy]

Three stars titled Do Better Ms. Esquire. I am withholding two stars from this review upon my learning that Pumps likes to text and drive. This is huge MAGA energy.

[Jennifer]

It is.

[Kathy]

It would feel wrong to award that type of behavior. Do better.

[Angie]

I complete MAGA energy. See that? That review alone right there, like my kids give me about it. You give me about Everybody gives me about the texting and driving and I'M just like, wah, wah, wah. But saying it's maggot energy. Like, I'm gonna do better.

[Jennifer]

What you did on. What you did on that airplane is MAGA energy.

[Angie]

See, I.

[Jennifer]

It is, Angie. It is. It is white privilege, entitlement. It is. It is a larger issue. When you see all these videos of Karen's losing their. They look like you, they sound like you. They're treating people like. And they like it. They like the cruelty of it.

[Angie]

There might be something to it.

[Jennifer]

You. I mean, I'm just telling you, we.

[Angie]

Can hopefully blame it on me being tired and on a plane.

[Jennifer]

It's. Well, it's got to do better.

[Angie]

But, boy, that review hit, hit time. Who was that review?

[Kathy]

That was from Georgie.

[Angie]

Georgie. Georgie. For just that. Georgie just put it in a frame. She just put it in a frame for me. Just laser focused.

[Jennifer]

All right, let's move on to some news stories that I found interesting. A study came out, and it says that men reach full emotional maturity at 43 and women do at 32.

[Angie]

I can believe that.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Angie]

I mean, I am not surprised at all that men are in their 40s before they hit emotional maturity. I think that makes sense.

[Jennifer]

I think it makes perfect sense.

[Angie]

I'm surprised women aren't earlier than 32.

[Jennifer]

I think 32 is probably about right.

[Angie]

They do, yeah.

[Jennifer]

I mean, think about what idiots we were in our 20s. You think you're big, you think you're smart, you think you're so cool, but you're operating on narcissism, hubris, all the stuff. And then real life hits you in your 30s.

[Angie]

That's absolutely right. I mean, the 30s for me were the hardest decade, but far and away, oh, for sure. When you had to put your big girl panties on and face the day.

[Jennifer]

In a kind of related story, in 1993, a man caused a massive flood of 14,000 acres just to stop his wife from coming home so he could keep partying.

[Angie]

What?

[Jennifer]

Yes. In 1993, James Scott reportedly tampered with the levees along the Mississippi river in Missouri, contributing to devastating flooding during what became known as the great flood of 1993. He later confessed to breaking the levies not for profit or malice, but rather to delay his wife's return home so he could continue partying. The resulting flood was catastrophic, impacting thousands of homes and businesses. Scott was convicted of intentionally causing a disaster and received a life sentence, though he has maintained his innocence.

[Angie]

How do you maintain your innocence after you admit it?

[Jennifer]

I don't know, counselor.

[Angie]

Why would you say that you did it to continue partying. I thought the punchline was going to be because he didn't want his wife to catch him with his girlfriend. Just the straight partying aspect kind of threw me for a loop.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. Okay, here's one more story. Approximately 130 million American adults have low literacy skills. This represents 54% of U.S. adults age 16 to 74 who read below a sixth grade level. The Gallup analysis of data from the U.S. department of Education found that approximately 130 million American adults have low literacy skills. This low literacy rate has significant consequences for individuals and society as a whole. Individuals with low literary literacy skills may face economic disadvantage, limited employment opportunities, and difficulty accessing health care information. I would like to add my own analysis to this. And it could also cause damage to the country as a whole by electing a man who himself reads at a fifth grade level, I believe.

[Angie]

Yes, I agree. That's the first thing I thought of. I know that that is true based on the hate comments we read from the right wing that cannot spell do not under understand contractions. Don't know the difference between T O and T O O. I mean, that shocks me. Zero.

[Jennifer]

You know what my favorite is? They get in the comment section, they want to call us losers, but they spell it loosers.

[Angie]

Right? L, O, O. Yeah, two O's.

[Jennifer]

L O, O, S, E, R S. And that's my favorite. Like, you two hags are such loosers. Okay, all right.

[Angie]

And, I mean, I'm old enough to remember when Donald Trump said he loved the poorly educated because they liked him. And now you've got, you know, the fucking wrestling queen gonna be the Department of Education head. So that's nothing but a disaster waiting to happen. So that number's probably gonna get higher.

[Jennifer]

I would like to thank you for reminding me and our listener that you are, in fact, old. You just had it all teed up. Okay, Kylie, what do we have in store for our listener today?

[Kathy]

We've got some great voice memos. And up first, we're going to listen to Abby.

[Matt]

Hi, guys. I'm a huge fan of the podcast, and I just need you guys to know that I look forward to every single notification I get on YouTube from your channel. But now to get into what I've had it with you guys. I have had it with Christmas proposals. Everyone does it. It is December 26th, as I am saying this, and I saw, like, eight different Christmas proposals posted on Facebook yesterday. And it's always captioned the same thing. And it's always like, it's the best gift I could have asked for. Or like Santa brought me exactly what I wanted this year. And I just, I can't take it, you guys, you're ruining Christmas. Propose on another day. You are fucking ruining it for everyone because now we all feel like we have to celebrate you and not each other on Christmas. And you know what? I'm talking this up to it being Donald Trump's fault. What is he going to do to stop this national crisis of Christmas proposals? I've, I have had it. I love you guys.

[Jennifer]

Thanks, Ashley. I couldn't agree more. This is a problem born out of Trumpism, much like Stanley Cup. And this is, this is so breathtakingly unoriginal. You're co opting onto a birthday party.

[Angie]

Absolutely.

[Jennifer]

For Jesus, you know, and then what happens to him?

[Angie]

Well, I'll tell you what it shows me. The War on Christmas is now becoming real because people are taking away from the baby Jesus birthday.

[Jennifer]

That's right.

[Angie]

And they're adding their own personal excitement to it. Taking away from that. So I mean, maybe there's something to the War on Christmas. But here's the thing. You have all these performative proposals. Like, you know, there's video cameras set up. You know, it, it's not a surprise to anybody that they're being proposed to because there's a video crew there. Every single person they've ever met in their whole lives are there witnessing it. But I think the miss of all the Facebooks is on the post where they got proposed to you. All I want for Christmas is you. I mean, that was the miss to me. If you're going to get. You got to quote Mariah Carey on your post, don't you?

[Jennifer]

I'm sure some of them did.

[Angie]

I'm sure they did.

[Jennifer]

It's no way that, that, that some, if you thought of that.

[Angie]

If I thought of that.

[Jennifer]

There's, I mean, of course there's a gajillion on Instagram right now where people have made that real. So I just, I mean, we've talked about this ad nauseam. Like there is this overperforming of getting engaged and getting married that to me demeans the sincerity of it. It becomes more of a production than it does about a couple that has chosen to couple up. And it's the, the biggest, the two biggest productions that I've been to in the last five years where the engagement was produced, the wedding highly produced, highly Instagrammed, highly, you know, snappy, all of the things.

[Angie]

Both surprisingly divorced within five years. Right.

[Jennifer]

Oh, yeah.

[Angie]

You know, having been the person that. I mean, even though there was no social media at the time I got married, I never. It never once crossed my mind what the marriage would be like or the person I was marrying. It was all about the bridesmaids and the ceremonies and the parties. So just from my personal perspective and experience, that just kind of smells disaster when it's so overperformed, overproduced. It's like you're not looking ahead. You're not playing the tape through. And on a personal note, that's a disaster. Just from my experience, let me ask you this.

[Jennifer]

Did you play the tape through when you thought about walking onto that airplane and getting your suitcase?

[Angie]

No, I didn't. That was completely spontaneous. Okay.

[Jennifer]

All right, next.

[Kathy]

Okay, up next, we've got Sarah.

[Sarah]

Do you know what? I've had it with people sending me pictures of their kids or when people send me pictures of their nieces and nephews. I don't care. These are not my kids. I do not have kids. These are not even your kids. I don't care. You're showing me this to make you feel better. This doesn't make me feel better. This makes you you. I don't care. I do not care.

[Jennifer]

I completely agree with this. There's. There's a lot. A lot of the population are babies and kids. It's not a unique, novel thing. A lot of them all kind of look alike. As we've gone over before, there's a lot of unattractive children. There's a lot of unattractive babies. In particular, I think we talked about a few episodes ago about some of these toddlers that look like hammered dog. Nobody's doing anything about that. We don't need these things circulated. That is an inner family circulation thing. It doesn't go outside of that circle. If you must send photographs, I propose you send images of dogs and cats. Agree. Those do far better on Instagram. I enjoy. I follow some dog influencers. I enjoy watching animal videos. I don't follow one baby influencer. I don't follow one toddler. I don't think that these. This sect of the population is that smart, that creative, or that inspiring. I really don't want to be intertwined with this segment of the population. I like babies and toddlers on a case by case basis, period.

[Angie]

No, I completely agree. And you know what's interesting is I was just back from vacation and I saw all these other people on vacation, and they're taking videos, you know, walking down a street and looking at the Monuments or whatever they're looking at. And in my head I'm thinking, who do they think is going to watch these videos? Because nobody wants to watch anybody else's vacation video. Much like nobody wants a picture of your niece and nephew. Just like unless we're family and related. I don't want you to hijack my phone with pictures of your kids. Especially if I don't have kids. Because if I don't have kids, that tells me I'm not that interested in kids. So if I don't want my own kids, I'm certainly not interested in your fucking kids. I have kids and I'm barely interested in my own kids pictures. I certainly don't want someone else's kids pictures.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, it's. All of these things are connected. The engagement, the over the top wedding, the over the top kid sharing and photos. It's just, it's not a novel thing. Like people have been getting married for centuries. People have been breeding forever. Like forever. Like since the beginning of all of it. You have to breed for all of us to be here. And again, it's. Everybody just likes to celebrate these average things. Having a child. Although it's very important to you personally, a lot of people do it, you know, I mean, just.

[Angie]

You're not the only one.

[Jennifer]

I think it's like 8 billion people in the world. Like, stop, shut up and quit sending the pictures of the ugly hammered dog kids. Nobody wants to see them unless they're connected to these kids.

[Angie]

Right? No randoms.

[Jennifer]

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[Angie]

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[Kathy]

Okay, up next, we've got Matt.

[Alec]

Hello, Ms. Jessica and Meemaw. Drag, meet curtain at law. Love, y'all. Longtime listener. My name's Matt. I'm from Canada. I want to share what I've had it with this week, and I think you would probably agree is that I've had it with Canadians. Specifically, stupid Canadians wearing Donald Trump merch in Canada. Like, not only are you wearing an I look stupid hat that says MAGA on it, but you're in the wrong fucking country. Like, why do you want to tell everyone that you're dumb and out of place when you're wearing political merch for the wrong fucking country? Like, go live there. Don't be here. I'm so tired of this global rise of, like, fascism, right wing ness. I'm so tired of it. We're all tired. It's rough out here. I hope y'all ladies are well. I love listening to you every week. Thanks so much. Hope you hear this.

[Jennifer]

Bye. Okay, I've heard of this, you know, you've got some Canadians, you have some British people, you've got some Australians, and they're all flirting with Trumpism. And here's what I have to say. You come over Here, give up your healthcare, give up your wages, give up all the consumer protections and then get on over here with all the processed foods, $7.25 an hour, you get cancer, tough titties, you're on your own and see how much you like it. Because what we have here is a lot of dumb fucks on the Internet and they are getting radicalized by this. I still will never, as long as I live understand how people watch him speak and think, yes, that's the leader we need. Because when I hear him speak, I think he is so braggadocious, wildly insecure, total egomaniac, not very smart. It's just this bluster and he's just such a jack off. I mean I just, there's nothing redeeming at all about him. Yet. Millions of people hear him speak and they're like, yep, that's the one, that's him.

[Angie]

Yeah. It's so interesting because you know, in Canada they don't, you know, they have problems with their prime minister or in other, you know, let's say New York City, they might have a problem with their governor or California. And I'm just like, get a real problem. You don't have any idea what it's like to live under the MAGA stupidity. And like you said, come over here, give up all your and and it goes back to these people. They think he's attractive, they think he's charismatic, they believe his bullshit, they don't see through it. So I immediately have to assume they're just not very bright. And I hate feeling that way because maybe there's another reason. I'm just missing it because I don't see the charisma. I don't see I'm with you. Like you hear him speak and it's embarrassing. Like I'm embarrassed that he goes and he is the representative for the United States in European countries or other countries. It's grossly offensive the way he behaves and talks and wearing MAGA hats in Canada, Australia, England. That's so disappointing because you know how much I love Canadians, Australians and English.

[Jennifer]

I just think that he is the leader for stupid people. And I don't feel bad anymore saying it. I don't. No, I don't. Because here's the problem. So many of these people, they love to, you know, you libtards, they have no problem saying all of these things about people that are more open minded and accepting of all people. And then when they get criticized, it's victim city. It's, oh my God, they called us dumb And I'm like, here's the thing. We already. You've already fucked around. You're already starting to find out. He said he was going to deport everybody American jobs. Only guess what? Elon wants to import tech bros from India to run Tesla. So they're already, you know, you're already finding out. You're already. It's Broken Heart City. And so I just. It's. It's exasperating to deal with this level of stupidity. And I don't know what happened in the world where we don't value expertise anymore. Like, Donald Trump is the expert at nothing. He's filed bankruptcy but seven or eight times, bankrupted casinos. You know, it's just. He's a shit show. He can't even put on his makeup properly. And for those listeners out there that say stuff about us, like, you know, y'all are so funny. I just wish you'd quit talking about politics. I just want you to know this. It's 2025, and we will not relent. Well, we will not pre surrender to fascism. We are not scared of Donald Trump and Elon Musk. So if you don't like it, the podcast market is literally saturated. It is overflowing with dog podcasts just like ours. Just don't listen to us, right? Go listen to Steve Bannon's war room and just have a blast doing that. We don't want you here. I don't want you to listen to us.

[Angie]

Go away.

[Kathy]

Okay, the last one is Alec.

[G]

Hello. Jen, Pumps, Kathy. Everyone else in the studio, love you guys. Longtime listener, first time, had it, and I got a good one. So what I've had it with is we all know that we just wrapped up the Christmas season, all right? And I have had it up to my hairline with having to sit around and watch the babies of the family. I'm talking like, the one to three year olds who, like, like, aren't really coherent and aren't aware of how Christmas works or how even gifts in general work. And we have to sit here and watch as their parents and everybody around them force them to care about opening presents. They're trying to run away. They're probably crying. They are crying. I saw it. They don't care that you just put this box that's wrapped in sparkly paper in front of them, and they have to rip off the paper and. And show the crowd the thing they just got from who knows what aunt. They don't fucking care. And it's gruesome. It's brutal. Oh, My God, it takes up way too much fucking time. They don't fucking care. Just put the parent in the spot, open the presents and say thank you. Oh my God. It's, it's, it's just, it's the worst. Anyway, kids not knowing how Christmas works, we don't need to watch them open presents. I'm so sorry. Actually, I'm not. But anyway, love you guys.

[Angie]

Bye.

[Jennifer]

Okay, he's spot on, spot on. So I have these little, two little nephews and a little niece all under age 2 and under and they have no idea what's going on. We've got like a four month old, we've got an eight month old and we have a two year old. Okay. They're darling. I love these babies. These babies love me. Contrary to the cold black hearted person that I play on this podcast that constantly bashes babies, children, and specifically hammer dog shit toddlers, these three individuals I adore. They're attractive, they're smart, they have a lot going for them. Here's where I agree with the caller. At Christmas I hosted it at my house and the two year old is the only one that could potentially open the gifts. He was not interested. And then the parents then are trying to feign, oh, I think he does like it, right? I got him a really cute jumpsuit, I didn't get him a toy. I know he's not gonna like it, but I know that he's gonna look great in it, right? And so I'm thinking, like it. For me, it was a projection gift. I was projecting how how good looking Owen is going to look in this little sweatsuit and it's really cute. And the same with the little girl. Georgia got her darling little dress. Georgia has no idea what's going on. But we all went through this performative bullshit instead of just saying, here, here's the gifts, y'all can unwrap them later, right? You know what? I think I, I, I think we even need to take this a step further. We need to quit wrapping gifts for babies.

[Angie]

I think you're completely right.

[Jennifer]

Why are we wrapping gifts for a three month old, a four month old, a one month old, a one year old. Why are we doing it? Why are we being so wasteful and why are we expecting that that child has the ability or the curiosity or the wherewithal to be able to open this gift, right?

[Angie]

It's a gift for the parent of the child. I say just give it to them, say, here, this is for the baby because the baby didn't give a Shit.

[Jennifer]

Do you think we wrap it it?

[Angie]

No, I think that's a great idea. I. I like to go to, like, I hate showers, but if I do go to a shower and the gifts are unwrapped or it's in cellophane so we don't have to go through the whole unwrapping performative. I'm all in on that.

[Jennifer]

There is nothing worse, nothing worse on the planet than a circle jerk where people sit in a circle and unwrap gifts and then raise the gift up and everybody's supposed to, to ooh and ah over the gift, which is something mundane, boring, and very pedestrian that we've all seen all of our entire lives. It is obscene the performative nature of this. And this has been going on long before Instagram, long before social media. I will never have any part of it. I'm going to declare right here, right now, this year, 2025, in Trump's America, I will not, under any circumstances whatsoever, be a part of any sort of performative gift opening ever. If I'm in an event, let me just going to tell you right here, right now, if you have some sort of circle jerk pumps and Emily gets engaged and it's some sort of open presence. Open presence. I'm going to look at you and say, how dare you? How dare you do this to me, to her and all of these people. I'm taking my gift, I'm returning it and I'm leaving. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna be the little twat, just like you were on that airplane.

[Angie]

I think you should. I think that's. I think it's a great reminder.

[Jennifer]

I will not enable.

[Angie]

Nobody wants to do that. Going to a thing where everybody. Oh, it's so cute. I mean, it's miserable.

[Jennifer]

Okay.

[Angie]

That call reminded me.

[Jennifer]

Okay.

[Angie]

Okay. So I'm going through my mail and I have a Christmas card and it just, it just says, you know, like, merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, whatever. And you open it up and it's like, have a great holiday season or what? I can't remember the words, but it was something very generic and it's just signed Jackson.

[Jennifer]

So this is the guy who put up your Christmas light?

[Angie]

Well, I mean, I wrapped my brain, I'm asking my kids, like, do you all know who Jackson is?

[Jennifer]

You mean to tell me after everything you've been through with this guy?

[Angie]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

This month long, sordid relationship you've had with Jackson, you didn't remember his name? It's a Christmas card.

[Angie]

Well, it was so out of place. Why would Jackson the le. The Christmas lights guy send me a Christmas card?

[Jennifer]

I know exactly why he was.

[Angie]

And not sign his last name? Not that I know his last name.

[Jennifer]

Y'all are on a first name basis, right?

[Angie]

I mean, we have personal meetings.

[Jennifer]

Think about everything you've gone through this holiday season. Yeah, it's been a big deal. It's been. We've talked about it five or six times on the podcast alone. Everything you've gone through with this Christmas. Like Guy, I think I'm Team Jackson. Let me ask you this. When you got home from your trip trip on New Year's Day, were your lights up or down?

[Angie]

My lights were up and I thought it's time to give Jackson a little text. Today I'm gonna.

[Jennifer]

So, yeah. You didn't text him and tell him you wanted him down on the 26th with all that big talk, you chickened out.

[Angie]

No, I didn't, I didn't text him. I wanted him down at 6pm on the 25th nor the 26th. I thought, I'll write it through my trip. But I mean, he is going to get a text very. In very short order.

[Jennifer]

You think right when we finish filming.

[Angie]

This, I might, it might just come straight down or like last year I just unplugged him after the first year.

[Jennifer]

Let me ask you this. Did you send Jackson a Christmas card?

[Angie]

I did not send anyone a Christmas card.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, I noticed I didn't get one, but I wouldn't.

[Angie]

Have, would have. Jackson wouldn't have been on my list.

[Jennifer]

Well, why not? I mean, if you think it's really the only.

[Angie]

The most.

[Jennifer]

Think about this, think about this. Think about all, all of the relationships you had in the month of December of 2024. Aside from me and your children, who have you had the most interaction with?

[Angie]

Jackson?

[Jennifer]

It's Jackson, right?

[Angie]

I mean, I have more interaction with Jackson than any other male in 2024.

[Jennifer]

The whole calendar year.

[Angie]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

I mean, the whole thing, there was tension, there were problems, there were solutions.

[Angie]

A little bit of stalking.

[Jennifer]

I felt like. Yeah, I mean, there was just a lot going on with you and Jackson. I think it was, was wildly appropriate for him to send you a Christmas card. I think it's on theme to the business he did. And I think you're being a little twat for minimizing his generosity and his sense of the holiday cheer in poo pooing, him sending you a card. And I am just mortified that you couldn't remember who he was after everything that you two went through together. And everything that we've drug our listener through, right? And we end the whole, whole thing with you and Jackson. With you going, who the is Jackson? Jesus Christ.

[Angie]

That's why I'm not a good girlfriend, obviously.

[Jennifer]

All right, listen up. That's all we have for today. And I. We don't have any shows coming up. We don't really have anything going on other than our Patreon, our YouTube channel. We have a book coming out, Pumps.

[Angie]

Tell them we will see you next Tuesday and Thursday.

[Jennifer]

Tell you what I've had it with.

[Angie]

Let's hear it. I've had it with that.

[Jennifer]

Listen up, patriots, gaytriots and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday. Every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America. Always served with a side of petty grievances.

[Angie]

We are on all the available platforms. Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcast and YouTube, please go, rate, subscribe.

[Jennifer]

And review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind. Pumps. Pumps. What does an eagle say?

[Angie]

Caca.

[Jennifer]

A little bit more enthusiasm.

[Angie]

Caca.

[Jennifer]

That's it. That's, that's, that's the patriotism that this country needs right there.