Megachurch Megahell

Summary

**Podcast Summary: "Megachurch Megahell"
Title: I've Had It
Hosts: Jennifer Welch and Angie “Pumps” Sullivan
Release Date: June 3, 2025
Episode: Megachurch Megahell

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Introduction

In the episode titled "Megachurch Megahell," hosts Jennifer Welch and Angie “Pumps” Sullivan delve into their perennial grievances with modern societal norms and personal experiences. This episode particularly focuses on the pervasive culture of constant feedback solicitation, the entitlement surrounding vaping, and the strains of dealing with a hypochondriac spouse within the backdrop of a megachurch environment.

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The Feedback Overload

Timestamp: [00:48] - [03:36]

Jennifer and Angie kick off the conversation by expressing their frustration with the ubiquitous demand for feedback in every aspect of life—from customer service interactions to medical appointments. Angie poignantly states, "Why do you want my feedback? I don't want to give you my feedback because it's over. I don't want to think about it anymore." ([01:06]).

Jennifer expands on this by linking the trend to millennial behaviors, suggesting that the constant need for feedback stems from an overbearing, helicopter-parent generation mentality. She shares a personal anecdote about a negative experience with a car repair service, emphasizing how unsolicited feedback requests can tarnish already frustrating situations.

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Guest Segment: Josh's Grievance with Vaping Entitlement

Timestamp: [03:36] - [13:20]

The episode transitions to a special segment where Jennifer and Angie bring in their guest, Josh Welch, to air his grievances about the entitlement exhibited by vapers. Josh articulates his frustration with individuals who vape in inappropriate settings, comparing the behavior to past smoking entitlement. He remarks, "I have had it with the entitlement of vapors... they think they can vape wherever they want to vape." ([05:30]).

The discussion highlights specific instances of vaping misconduct, such as vaping in gyms, medical facilities, and even airplanes. Jennifer shares a personal story where Pumps vaped directly in a medical exam room, causing discomfort to both herself and their guest, Mayor David Holt. She describes the experience vividly: "We have the same trainer, but it was another trainer... She stomps a big hit off the vape and exhales it right into the mayor's face." ([07:34]).

Josh further emphasizes the widespread nature of this entitlement, stating, "All of the vapers of the world think that they can vape wherever it is they want to vape." ([10:07]). The segment concludes with humorous exchanges about the conspicuous nature of vaping devices and the social faux pas it often entails.

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Listener Submissions: Mark and Gia

Timestamp: [37:21] - [43:30]

Kylie moderates listener voicemails, starting with Mark's five-star review expressing his frustration with straight men who refer to their significant others as possessions rather than individuals. Mark passionately declares, "Grow up. Get a fucking pair. I fucking had it." ([38:42]).

Next, Gia voices her annoyance with the superficial sharing of baby updates on social media. She criticizes parents for treating basic milestones as grand achievements, exclaiming, "Like, no shit, it's a baby. Like, those are all developmental milestones." ([39:26]).

Both submissions resonate with the hosts, who agree on the pervasive nature of these societal nuisances, further reinforcing the episode's themes of entitlement and superficiality in modern interactions.

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News Segment: Gender Bias and Social Behaviors

Timestamp: [20:46] - [43:30]

Jennifer and Angie discuss recent studies highlighting gender biases in workplace communications. Jennifer shares, "When a woman sends the exact same email as a man, she's more likely to be called rude, while the man is seen as efficient and assertive." ([21:55]). Angie echoes this sentiment, emphasizing the double standards women face in being judged for the same behaviors that are praised in men.

Additionally, they touch upon the trend of adults switching to "dumb phones" to escape the incessant distractions of social media. Angie mentions a personal anecdote about her friend's son improving academically and reducing anxiety after downgrading his phone, illustrating the positive impacts of digital detox.

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Personal Update: Jennifer's Husband and Medical Struggles

Timestamp: [47:29] - [58:10]

Towards the episode's conclusion, Jennifer provides a heartfelt update on her husband Josh's ongoing medical issues. She recounts Josh's battle with chronic earwax buildup leading to multiple surgeries, expressing her exasperation with his hypochondria. Jennifer shares a particularly frustrating experience where, after surgery, the surgeon's insensitive comment, "I hope his ear is the way he wants it," inadvertently insulted her ([50:14]).

The hosts poignantly discuss the toll that Josh's health anxieties have taken on their marriage, highlighting the challenges of living with a hypochondriac partner. Angie supports Jennifer by relating it to her experiences with her ex-husband, underscoring the emotional strain such relationships impose.

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Conclusion and Closing Remarks

In the final segments, Jennifer and Angie encourage listeners to share their own stories about coping with hypochondriac partners, suggesting the creation of a support group for caregivers in similar situations. They also promote their joint book, "Life is a Lazy Susan of Sandwiches," which chronicles their friendship and shared experiences.

Jennifer wraps up the episode by teasing their new daily podcast, “I Hip News,” which promises brief, impactful takes on the political landscape, coupled with their characteristic grievances.

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Notable Quotes

• Angie: "Why do you want my feedback? I don't want to give you my feedback because it's over. I don't want to think about it anymore." ([01:06])

• Josh: "All of the vapers of the world think that they can vape wherever it is they want to vape." ([10:07])

• Mark: "Grow up. Get a fucking pair. I fucking had it." ([38:42])

• Gia: "Like, no shit, it's a baby. Like, those are all developmental milestones." ([39:26])

• Jennifer: "I have had it with the entitlement of vapors... they think they can vape wherever they want to vape." ([05:30])

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Key Takeaways

• Feedback Fatigue: The modern world's incessant demand for feedback can exacerbate frustrations, especially when it compounds negative experiences.

• Vaping Entitlement: There's a growing sense of entitlement among vapers, leading to social irritations in inappropriate settings.

• Gender Bias: Women often face double standards in professional communication, being labeled negatively for behaviors praised in men.

• Digital Detox: Switching to simpler phone models can improve mental health and reduce unnecessary distractions.

• Personal Struggles: Living with a hypochondriac partner can strain relationships, highlighting the need for support systems for caregivers.

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"Megachurch Megahell" offers a blend of humor and candid discussions, addressing everyday annoyances and personal challenges with relatable anecdotes and sharp commentary. Jennifer and Angie’s dynamic interplay ensures that listeners are both entertained and validated in their own grievances.

Transcript

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[Jennifer]

So are we supposed to start the podcast?

[Angie]

Ready? 1, 2, 3.

[Jennifer]

Patriots, gatriots, patriots, black trio. Welcome to America's top DEI podcast. Pumps. What have you had it with?

[Angie]

What I've had it with is no matter what you do nowadays.

[Jennifer]

Nowadays?

[Angie]

Does that sound like a get off my lawn type situation?

[Jennifer]

Yeah, but proceed. Yeah.

[Angie]

Okay. Everybody wants your feedback. You send an email and they want your feedback. You go to the doctor, they want your feedback. You buy something, they want your feedback. Why do you want my feedback? I don't want to give you my feedback because it's over. I don't want to think about it anymore. Why is everything requiring feedback? And then I'll tell you what I do because I'm a codependent. The other day, I was just getting ready to leave it, I think you suck feedback. So I had it all typed up, all my grievances, all my complaints. And then I thought, what if that person's a single mother and gets fired because I said this? I don't want to do that. So then I feel bad for what's probably AI emailing me this crap. So that's my own problem and my own issue. But I'm just leave me alone. Just leave me alone.

[Jennifer]

This. This whole feedback loop is. I believe it kind of started with the millennials. And I love you millennials. I do. Great voting record. However, I think it started with them. And they're the first, like, real generation of helicopter parents. And it's all this feelings and feedback. And what I feel when I get that is, is everything was perfect until you didn't let it be. Didn't let that conclusion be the end of it. I felt complete satisfaction until you had to follow up once I'd already closed this event or this purchase or this experience. From my mind. And the worst of the worst is when it's something like getting your car repaired, right? Which is a miserable experience from top to bottom. You don't have a car, generally, everybody's cranky because, you know it ends up costing more than you think it's going to be. And then to get an email a week after. How was your experience in getting your car repaired? And I want to say, regardless of anything you all did, it was a miserable fucking experience. I didn't have a car. It cost 1500 more dollars that I didn't anticipate. I hated it from top to bottom, left to right. It's a stupid question. Don't ask me, right?

[Angie]

Every single person hates this experience. You can't make it better. So why are we talking about it?

[Jennifer]

It's like getting a pap smear. You know, let's not have a follow up interview about the pap smear, right?

[Angie]

We don't want to. I mean, it just. I'm sick of it. It's like every time I open my phone, I get a text wanting my feedback or I open my email, I've got an email wanting my feedback.

[Jennifer]

Okay, for my grievance today, we are going to. I'm gonna use a lifeline, okay? And we're gonna call Josh Welch because he has a grievance with you that he was addressing with me over the weekend. And I said, you know what? I'll use a lifeline to during filming. I've had it. And we'll just call your ass up.

[Angie]

Okay?

[Jennifer]

Hello, welcome to I've had It, Josh.

[Angie]

We're at this.

[Jennifer]

We're at the stage of the podcast where Pumps has told me her grievance. And then I told the audience, the listener, that I wanted to phone a friend and give my grievance to you because you were expressing a grievance you had with Pumps with me over the weekend.

[Josh]

That sounds fantastic, Punch. I love you, by the way. I hope you know that.

[Angie]

No, I know that you do. What's the grievance? I'm dying to hear.

[Josh]

Okay, so just in a general sense, it seems to me, and, and I don't even. This isn't specifically Aim Court Pumps, but I would say that in a general sense, I've had it with the entitlement of vapors and, and when they can vape and where they vape and who they're around and the norms and rules associated with that and the bending of those rules and norms to just pretty much say, look, I'm gonna vape Whenever the I want to. If it's on an airplane, if it's in a hospital, if it's in a gym, I'm gonna do it. And it takes me back to the days of the smokers and their entitlement. But with the vaping, I think that we breached, and it's almost as if it's not anywhere near as serious, and it's not as much of a rule, and that the bending or the exception to the rule is acceptable.

[Jennifer]

Tell her about what brought this on.

[Angie]

Yeah. What was my particular infraction? Because I know I do that.

[Jennifer]

Let's land the plane and get to what brought this on? For you to bring this up to me.

[Josh]

Okay. So I had several pumps and I go to the same gym. We both work out and exercise. And by the way, pumps looks fantastic. She's been working out. I saw her biceps the other day. Brought to my attention that in the course of her workouts, whether it's biking or lifting weights, that pumps will occasionally take a little hit off the vape. That's true at the gym during the workout. And I don't know that this will come as a complete surprise, but vape. Vaping in a gym, a workout facility is not allowed.

[Angie]

I didn't know that, But I do.

[Josh]

Do that if the listener knows that or not. But when you're there to get healthier, when you're there to work out your body or your muscle or get cardio, they would simply ask that you not vape or share toxic fumes with other participants of the gym so that you can work out in a zone that's free of those toxins. And it's been brought to my attention that occasionally other.

[Jennifer]

By trainers at the gym. Right. We have the same trainer, but it was another trainer.

[Josh]

I don't want to out anybody.

[Angie]

No, I do do that. So it's not like it's a lie.

[Jennifer]

Okay, so listen to this listener and Josh. The other day, my. My oldest son Dylan had, like, earwax buildup. And so pumps and I go to the doctor's office, and we are in the exam room. In the room, for sure. You would be a dumbass if you didn't know you can't vape in a medical facility. Agreed.

[Angie]

Right.

[Jennifer]

I look over, and she's standing literally four inches away from the nurse. The doctor's, like, in knee deep in Dylan's ear, and pumps is just sitting there vaping. And the nurse looks over at her, and her eyes get really big, and she looks at me, and I was just like, oh, fuck. And you're just. I mean, like four or five times in a row.

[Angie]

No, I think. But I.

[Jennifer]

The medical procedure, 100%.

[Angie]

All of this is true. I'm not denying any of it. And I think he's right, because you couldn't smoke cigarettes in all of these places. But vaping you can. And. Which has empowered bolded me.

[Jennifer]

You can't. You say you can, but you can't.

[Angie]

But people would know if you were smoking a cigarette on airplane, right? People would know if I lit up a cigarette.

[Josh]

Every now and then, you do get a little whiff of some bubble fruit punch thing.

[Jennifer]

One of the worst was. One of the worst was we had Mayor David Holt on here in studio, in this tiny little recording studio. And he's so sweet. And right after we filmed, we all stood up. We're literally like. He's in the middle, and we're shaking his hands, giving him a hug, pump takes this gigantic hit off the vape and exhales it right into the mayor's face. And he kind of looks at me, and I'm just like, oh, Jesus, fuck, can we not wait till the mayor is outside and it smells like this fruity thing? And I'm just like. But I think it. I think Josh is right. There is an entitlement with vapors that didn't exist with smokers.

[Angie]

I agree 100%. Yeah.

[Josh]

The last thing I want to say about this is. So when I'm at the gym, one of my dear trainers comes up to me and he goes, now what's that girl's name? Scoots or whatever. She does that. She does that podcast with your wife. Scoots or Stumps or. I go, yeah, what about her? And he's like, I'll see her over there on that bike. And she's just getting it, like, boom, boom, boom. And then out of nowhere, she'll pop up a pink or purple little vape and take a big hit off that. And he said, I just about fell.

[Kylie]

Over laughing so hard.

[Angie]

Yeah, that's true. I mean, when I sit down on the bike, I put my phone. Get that all set up, then I put my vape right there. That's true. All true.

[Jennifer]

When we were. When we were on tour, we used to share a room, and I got to where I just, like, I can't share a room with her anymore. Because you either hear. But in the middle of the night, she wakes up and you hear this. And then she hits off the vape in the middle of the night, and I Remember I came home from one trip and I was like, I love pumps. I love her so much. I fucking hate vaping now. I hate it so goddamn much. Yeah. Because it's like.

[Angie]

But I couldn't smoke in the. Like, I would not have gotten up out of bed to go outside and smoke a cigarette in the middle of the. So Josh is 100% right on the entitlement because it's so easy.

[Josh]

The only thing that I want to say here is in deference to pumps, all of the vapers that I know have the same entitlement in their mindset. So this isn't something that's unique to pumps. All of the vapers of the world think that they can vape wherever it is they want to vape.

[Angie]

Yeah.

[Josh]

And that's just simply not the case. Whether you're scoots or stumps or whoever, you can't be vaping. And they all love you and adore you so much. So, like, have you ratted her out yet? Have you taken this to the top and said, hey, no vaping at our gym? They're like, no, I'm not going to do that. I love stumps.

[Angie]

It's like, okay, yeah, guilty as charged, Josh. I can't deny it.

[Jennifer]

Oh. I mean, it's a. She is a. She is a. I mean, it is a level of vape addiction that, like.

[Angie]

Nobody, like, the world has never seen.

[Jennifer]

It really is.

[Josh]

Let me. Let me ask you this. Has there been any airplane vaping?

[Jennifer]

Oh, my God, yes. Of course. I'm sitting next to her and she's vaping, and it's just. She thinks nobody can tell. And I look over and then, like, the guy, like, sitting next to us is kind of like. The funny thing about it is she thinks nobody notices, but it. Her vape is about 12 inches by 18 inches large. So it's like this gigantic pacifier that goes like a dildo. Vape. It is. And it illuminates like that. It illuminates like a glow ring.

[Angie]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

And so purpose.

[Angie]

Yeah. It's got a battery at the end. I can use it for two things.

[Josh]

Okay, so let's think about this. So we've got airplane. We've got hospitals, gyms.

[Jennifer]

The gym. Thunder games.

[Angie]

Thunder games.

[Josh]

Thunder games. But the only place that might be worse would maybe be like a. A living assisted center for the elderly.

[Angie]

No.

[Jennifer]

Oh, shoot. I would do it in the heartbeat.

[Angie]

Why would you think I would do that?

[Jennifer]

The only person that doesn't get fall prey to pumps chronic entitled vaping is her mother.

[Angie]

That's what I was gonna say. The only place that I'm vape free is at my mother's house.

[Jennifer]

Because her. Yeah, because her mother scares the shit out of her. And that's the only time that she shows any restraint with vaping.

[Angie]

I agree.

[Josh]

We need to get a poster of Judy.

[Angie]

Kind of like right here you have.

[Josh]

A broman that you took to graduation that you hold up.

[Angie]

Oh, yeah, that's a fat head.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Josh]

You need to get one of Judy that you just hold up in certain places with you, and that'll keep her from doing it.

[Angie]

I like that.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. All right, well, I just wanted to.

[Angie]

Josh, I just want you to know, out of that entire conversation, the only thing that resonated with me was that my biceps look good. That's just all I'm gonna say.

[Jennifer]

I agree.

[Josh]

Fantastic. No, and everybody at the gym is very complimentary. They're like, we love having scoots up here. She's the funniest, most hilarious. I look over there and she's hitting that bike, and then she hits that vape, and I about buckle. I mean, they love it. Nobody wants to rat you out. So far, I've kept it under. I don't want to see you get kicked out. I want to get you in shape.

[Angie]

And we're so close.

[Josh]

That's right. So close. All right, well, you ladies have a great rest of your day.

[Jennifer]

All right, Bye.

[Angie]

Bye, Josh.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. So Josh was like. He wanted to bring this up with me, and I was like, you don't even know the vaping that I'm around. You don't get to bitch. Like, it's. The ambient noise in my office is whether it's you or Kylie or. So that's all I hear. That's why I have to turn on music, because it's like fingernails on a chalkboard for me now at this point. And it's not necessarily like the annoyance of it. It's the fact that people like you can't wait for the mayor to leave, that we have to blow vape smoke in his face. That's the part that is irritating to me that, like, you can't and that it's. And then just hearing the sucking all the time. So I've turned into kind of an anti vapor. Although I don't care if you vape. Does that make sense? Right?

[Angie]

No, I get it. It's not like the aversion, like smoking. It's just. You don't want it around.

[Jennifer]

Right. Welcome to. I've had it. I'm Jennifer.

[Angie]

I'm Angie. The HBIC or the HVIC had vapor in, that's what.

[Jennifer]

Yes. You're the vaping beaver. Kylie.

[Angie]

Wait, hold on. H, H B V. I see.

[Jennifer]

All right, Kylie.

[Kylie]

Yes.

[Jennifer]

How's it going over there? How many times did you hit the vape during the that call?

[Kylie]

Honestly, it made me want to hit it. So I was just over here thinking.

[Jennifer]

Listening when I smoked cigarettes. When people talked about not smoking or cigarettes annoying them, it made me want to smoke more.

[Angie]

100. That's how it always does.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Kylie]

I also every single place you've named. I recently was at the ER with my girlfriend. I was vaping the entire time over there till 6am yeah. Airplanes. There's nowhere I won't right?

[Angie]

Nowhere.

[Jennifer]

This episode of I've had it is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Shifting a little money here, a little there and hoping it all works out? Well, with the name your price tool from Progressive, you can be a better budgeter and potentially lower your insurance bill too. You tell Progressive what you want to pay for car insurance and they'll help find you options within your budget. Try it [e-mail] progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states. Okay. You know I love wearing sunglasses but I'm so sick of getting my shades caught in my hair. It is so frustrating. It breaks my hair. Drives me bananas. That's why I'm so happy to share with our listener the discovery of Shady Rays. They offer all the iconic styles from the aviator to cat eye designed frames so you're bound to find the perfect pair to match your every outfit.

[Angie]

What I love about these Shady Rays are I lose my sunglasses or I break them and they have a lost and broken protection that has me covered from day one.

[Jennifer]

With over 300,000 five star reviews, that's a lot of happy customers. So start shopping for your next pair of sunglasses today and see why Shady Rays is the go to choice exclusively for our listeners. Shady Rays is giving out an amazing deal for the season. Head to shadyrays.com with code had it for for 35% off their premium polarized sunglasses. Snag your shades and get ready for the summer fun. Father's Day is fast approaching and nobody has a bigger nightmare to purchase things for than my wonderful husband Josh. That's why I am so grateful that I shop at Quint's. Quince has all the pieces dads actually want to wear like organic cotton silk polos, European linen beach shorts and comfortable pants that work for everything from weekend hangouts to nice dinners.

[Angie]

What I love about Quince is it actually works with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices and only uses premium fabrics and finishes.

[Jennifer]

I bought the organic cotton silk Polos for Josh and he personally loves them so much. I got three different colors and I've noticed him wearing them each and every day. They are total standouts for the dad who deserves better than basic. Quint's has you covered. Go to Quint's.com had it. For free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com had it. To get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com had it okay Kylie, what's going on on the Internet?

[Kylie]

I've got two reviews for you today. The first I'm going to read is from KK Ray titled you down with the hbic? Yeah, you know, five stars. Given the current political climate. Did I A gay trait who plays pickleball and is also a divorce lawyer. Hopefully without meemaw meat Curtains Think, a podcast that boasts America's legal eagle slash HBIC as well as the Steffi graph of the tennis pickleball worlds would exist. 100 plus episodes and a Patreon subscription later, I can thank Tick Tock for having these Hope diamonds show up in my feed a few months ago. Until now I hadn't been able to find the right Venn diagram for a podcast that is =12 year old boy humor, hard hitting episodes dedicated to protecting the marginalized and griping about the worst grievances witnessed on a daily basis and the importance of female friendships. Thank you Kiki and Swedish Fish for getting us the content on a daily basis. And to our HBVIC and her much younger partner in crime, all I can say is Kaka.

[Angie]

What a great review.

[Jennifer]

That's a great review.

[Angie]

I like the 12 year old boy humor. Oh that stuck out to me because that's me.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, I always know like that's how the whole beaver thing came up because I just kind of flippantly said what was that guy's last name? Beaver? And you're like no. And then you corrected it and then like the be just Beaver sitting out there floating. I couldn't take it. You could just immediately bust it out laughing because of course you thought about a vag.

[Angie]

Of course.

[Jennifer]

All right, next up.

[Kylie]

Okay, next we've got five stars. You keep me going from Luke. And he writes, I'm Luke. I'm a queer kid who was recently displaced because of a fight with my stepdad in living with my grandmother right now. But y' all give me the courage to keep going. I fall asleep to y' all complaining every night, and it makes me feel better. Like, one day I'll be able to stop and breathe for a second and have some fun.

[Jennifer]

Oh, my gosh, Luke, I just. I am so sorry for what you're going through, and I just want you to know that you are perfect the way you are, and I'm so. I just. This kind of stuff, this type of bullying by people to the LGBTQ community is something just that I will just always, always, always fight for, and I've always fought for, and I just. I will not be a part of any institution or any organization or any touch, anything in my life that condones that type of bigotry towards your community, because this is the end game. And so many people don't think about kids at home crying. They only think about themselves. And it makes me sick.

[Angie]

Yes, Luke, thank you for listening. That's a. You know, it's a difficult situation, and we're in your corner for sure.

[Jennifer]

Okay, let's go over some news. First one up is emails from women are more likely to be described as aggressive, even when the wording is the same. When a woman sends a direct email, she is more likely to be called rude. When a man sends the exact same email, he's seen as efficient and assertive. I think this is so true. I tend to, with text messages and work emails send very short, direct messaging without a lot of fluffery or superfluous wording to it. Just very. I need this done by noon, and that's the end of it. And I notice when I hire new employees, they'll ask me if I'm mad, and I'm like, no, what are you talking about? Right? I'm just very direct. Like, we're. We're in a work setting, and work settings call for just immediate, you know, communication without a bunch of fluffery. And men can do this, and they see they are praised for it, but women, not so much.

[Angie]

It's just such a double standard. And you see it with, women need to be pretty, but not too pretty. They need to be direct, but not too direct. But what, you know, really what kills me in that, because it's so true, is the exact same wording. A woman's aggressive and a man's assertive. The exact same words. But I Mean, you know, that's how it is.

[Jennifer]

All right, next up, we have a story. Almost 50% of men think they could land a plane in an emergency.

[Angie]

Of course they do.

[Jennifer]

I mean, this is just. This is some MAGA if I've ever seen it. I mean, this is the same. These are the same people that think they're medical doctors and conducting their own research. This is, I guess that's how we know what the 50% of the male population are, quote, alpha males.

[Angie]

Right? They can land a plane.

[Jennifer]

How arrogant to think that you could land an airplane.

[Angie]

Nothing about these people surprises me. They think Donald Trump's patriotic because he dry hunter dumps the flag. Like that's who they are. They think they are rah rah, big muscle guys with homoerotic pictures of Donald Trump on their T shirts. And they're. They're big men.

[Jennifer]

All right, next up, we have adults are having dumb phones to get away from social media. A growing number of adults are ditching smartphones for dumb phones. Basic text and call only devices is a way to reclaim their time and mental peace. Tired of endless scrolling, doom scrolling, and constant distractions, many are choosing simplifications over digital noise. I think this is such a great idea. I think that social media and the people who own the social media are a huge player in this current moment that we all arrive in.

[Angie]

I think it's a great idea. In fact, one of my girlfriends, her son lost his iPhone and she said, okay, you can either buy yourself a new one or. And she just got him, like, your basic phone. His grades went up, his anxiety decreased, his hygiene was better. I mean, it's crazy and that's anecdotal, whatever, but if you're not on your phone all the time, you have a lot more time on your hands to do other stuff.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. All right, next up, I wanted to talk to you all about. I'm finally. I graduated my youngest child. You graduated your youngest last year. And I wanted to share a story about what happened. So we're leaving the graduation ceremony and these two lesbians approach me and they're like, jennifer, Jennifer. We're huge fans of the podcast. I was like, oh, thanks. Why are y' all here? And she's like, oh, my niece is graduating. We live in Michigan. And then one of the lesbians says, I actually know Josh. I hooked up with him in college. And Josh. And I'm walking with my oldest son and his girlfriend. And Roman, the one that just graduated, is walking with Josh. But they're probably about 15 yards ahead of us, trying to go get the car. And I'm screaming pump style in the parking lot. Josh, Josh, a girl you hooked up with in college is here. And Dylan's dying, laughing. I was like, and now she's gay. She's a big old Leslie. And so finally we catch up. And Josh was like, oh, my God. Knew her immediately. He did, immediately. Yes. And they hugged and had the best time. But shout out to the two lesbians. Now they live in Michigan, but they were both midlife lesbians, so. Meaning they have married, had kids and then realized, you know, after years of pretending to be asexual, finally figured out that they were in fact lesbians and are married.

[Angie]

Well, good for them.

[Jennifer]

And Josh could have potentially turned one of them gay.

[Angie]

He could be. The reason I'm, I think I'm more impressed about that story is that he remembered that he hooked up with her in college.

[Jennifer]

I think that they were like friends as well.

[Angie]

Oh, oh, okay, okay.

[Jennifer]

The Oklahoma State University is not, you know, I think that they were buddies and friends.

[Angie]

Well, that's fun. Yeah, that's always fun.

[Jennifer]

Also at the graduation. So. So I'd gone to the Syracuse graduations and the speeches were amazing. And I was thinking about how these speeches at graduations, they talk about being humble, being kind, being a good person, right? And so it all kind of played well at Syracuse because there was a lot of coded attacks on Trump. Fast forward to my youngest son's high school graduation. And so they give out this alumni award, all right. To like a member of some, a former graduating class. So it's this big deal. And they give out this alumni award. And you know, these graduations are just brutal. Brutal even if you're. You genetically share DNA with the recipient. So I'm thinking, okay, there's a Thunder game that night. So I'm thinking this guy's going to read the room and he's going to know not to go on. Well, they introduce him and, and it's like he is a veteran and he works with James Lankford, who is the Republican senator, and then Stephanie Bice, who is our religious hypocrite congresswoman that claims to be pro life while voting against poor children to receive food. Stephanie Bice, you know, you do that and so does James Langford, for that matter. Anyway, so this guy gets up on stage and he doesn't just say, you know, thanks, you know, I want to be humble here. Instead, he proceeds to tell these 18 year olds a story about when he was in Iraq, which he called the Armpit of the world, which I thought was very insulting and elitist to say because there are many people that live in Iraq. Okay, so he's talking about his tour of duty there. And he proceeds to go on a 20 minute brag fest.

[Angie]

No.

[Jennifer]

About how he saved somebody's life. Yeah. No. Yes.

[Angie]

Oh, my God.

[Jennifer]

It was the most brutal and exhausting thing. The most. He's like, so you just have to be kind. And let me give you an example.

[Angie]

Of how kind I am.

[Jennifer]

When I was in Iraq, we were under attack, and then this guy is hit and I go into enemy fire and I get him out. And he tells this whole battle story, grandstanding and showboating, about how he saved somebody's life to these 18 year olds who are all dying to get out of this graduation, all of the parents are dying to get out of this graduation because everybody wants to go watch the Oklahoma City Thunder in the playoff game. And at the end of it, he starts talking about how important it is to be kind and to have integrity and all of these things, attributes that are. That these seniors should take forward into adulthood. And I'm sitting there thinking, okay, you work for. With Senator James Lankford, who does not show an ounce of integrity at all. All he shows is breathtaking hypocrisy. You work with Congresswoman Stephanie Bice, who is an abject hypocrite of the highest order that tells her constituents, I'm a Christian and I'm for children and four families, yet goes and votes against both every chance she can get. And so then he talks about kindness and he works with these Republicans. And I'm wondering, does this guy vote for maga? Is that a kind movement? And so I just see how these people like the delusions of grandeur that this man, you know, to not be able to read the room and to sit there and give a 20 minute speech at an event that's not really about you. You're supposed to get the award, say thank you, wrap it up within 90 seconds and get the fuck off the stage. Instead, he goes through all of these battle stories with these teenagers. And after the event, I asked Roman, I go, roman, what were you and your friend saying when that guy was grandstanding? He goes, we were all looking at each other like, like, what does any of this have to do with us?

[Angie]

Right? Why are we hearing this?

[Jennifer]

Yeah, it was the weirdest thing ever. And I think the school should remove the guy's award because his speech disqualified him for being an outstanding alumni member. Right?

[Angie]

He.

[Jennifer]

It was Disqualifying his speech disqualified himself because he cannot read the room. You do not go to somebody else's graduation and give a 20 minute speech about yourself. And get this, this. Before he started, he said, I'm going to share a speech with y' all about kindness. My therapist has told me I need to share this story more. He drug his therapist into it, trying.

[Angie]

To make him or her accountable for his bad behavior right there.

[Jennifer]

And I'm sitting there thinking, I guarantee you your therapist would not have advised that you give this speech at a graduation honoring 18 year olds that need to hear about ways to move forward in their life and how this institution helps helped you. We don't need to hear about how you saved a life. Oh, and then it goes into how he bumped into this guy later and the guy was like, you saved my life. And oh, I mean it went on and on and on.

[Angie]

That is absolutely.

[Jennifer]

It put everybody in a bad mood. Everybody was moaning, groaning, sighing. It was the biggest example of grandstanding I'd ever seen in my life.

[Angie]

Okay, let me ask you this. As it went on, do you think, think that he started noticing that people were getting bored and tried to wrap it up quicker or do you think he.

[Jennifer]

No, absolutely not. Breathtaking lack of self awareness in this. He was smiling throughout the entire thing and I believe felt like this was a story that actually helped people, people and didn't highlight what a braggadocious lack of humility this man had at the core of his character. And I furthermore found it incredibly insulting to my personal intelligence that he wanted to get up and lecture people about kindness when he supports people like hypocrite Senator James Lankford and extreme anti woman, anti family hypocrite Congresswoman Stephanie Bice, who is in our district right here, who had the district relined because we had a Democrat named Kendra Horn. So they in because this is Oklahoma City. They had it redrawn to absorb more rural areas where she could go in and Christian signal to these people. So the fact that he works with them and then wants to sit down at our secular school and try to lecture me and my kid about kindness I found incredibly rich and the only thing kind that he could find support that he did was saving somebody's life in a war that the United States should have never been in in the first place.

[Angie]

Yeah, it sounds miserable. It just sounds absolutely miserable.

[Jennifer]

Graduation it. He ruined my son's graduation.

[Angie]

And here's the deal. I bet you he is running around telling everybody in his life I did such a great Job. They loved it so much. I Inspired and these 18 year olds inspired by me.

[Jennifer]

And I support the troops, but I guarantee you the majority of the troops would never talk about that. My dad fought in Vietnam War will not talk about it. Like in a. Sure as hell wouldn't talk about it to a graduating class. And a bunch of crazy shit went on over there and I just, I just thought it was so gross and I just wanted to share it. I. We had to go. We all went through it. My son, my oldest son was just disgusted by it. My youngest son, the graduate was disgusted by it. I'm embarrassed that the school didn't stop it or vet what he was going to say. It was such a disgrace.

[Angie]

That's awful and that's a shame. It ruined it for so many people.

[Jennifer]

It really did. It really did. The head of the upper school gave a speech about Jimmy Carter which was interesting that he had to sell his peanut farm. And then he was a president and his presidency was considered a failure. But his post presidency was a model for all to be in awe of because of how humble and compassionate and all the work that he did. And so it was this really cool speech about like you can ascend to the presidency and that can be considered a failure, but that doesn't have to define you. You can go on and live with integrity and try to make the world a better place. Then we get this grandstander up there. It's having a joint therapy session with a graduating class of 2025. We're talking about war stories. Just unbelievable. So I just, since I had to go through that, I wanted you all.

[Angie]

Everybody should have to suffer.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. All right. Kylie, how was your graduation when you graduated from high school?

[Kylie]

I don't even remember what, what happened at it.

[Angie]

Yeah, I don't remember what.

[Kylie]

Which is probably a good thing.

[Jennifer]

I don't either.

[Angie]

Yeah. So I mean probably in 5, 10 years you won't remember this.

[Jennifer]

Everybody's going to remember that grandstand you do you think? Because everybody was dying for it to be done by 7:30 to go to the game. Every other speaker, including the, the people within the graduating class that were 18 stood up and said, my dad told me to keep this short because there was a Thunder game tonight. And then they would shorten their speech and it was cute and everybod clap. Not this guy. He spoke longer than the valedictorian. Yes. Three times as long.

[Angie]

Here's the deal on that. So he is so narcissistic.

[Jennifer]

Totally.

[Angie]

That he thought what he had to Say was more important than the collective want of everybody in that room.

[Jennifer]

Angie, he saved somebody's life. And his therapist encouraged him to tell.

[Angie]

People probably in two minutes or less, he could have told that story.

[Jennifer]

I just think that that's not the appropriate.

[Angie]

That's not the forum.

[Jennifer]

Right. This is not West Point. This is, you know, these are high schoolers. I just thought it was wildly inappropriate, braggadocious, nauseating. Well, you know, it damaged me.

[Angie]

If I would have been there, I would have been vaping. I would have been like. And blowing.

[Jennifer]

And I would have supported it. I might have even taken a hit, too.

[Angie]

I mean, probably would have passed it down the line.

[Jennifer]

I would have been. I would have been like this. It was awful. It was the worst. And my child had a wonderful experience at that school. But that speaker will always be. There's just certain things you just can't get past. It's gonna take me a long time to get past that.

[Angie]

Grandstand just leaves a bad taste in your mouth at the very end.

[Jennifer]

It really does. Well, and then thank God we ran into Josh's ex girlfriend, lesbian right after that, because that was a real shining.

[Angie]

Change the mood.

[Jennifer]

It really did.

[Angie]

Everybody would have bitched all the way home.

[Jennifer]

A lot. Lesbian can always cheer up. The grandstanding of a gross, narcissistic alpha male.

[Angie]

Did. Did they mention it? Have you talked to anybody since then that mentioned it? Yes, I have other parents, so it was just universal.

[Jennifer]

It was universally the most hated speech at the graduation.

[Angie]

And that's tough to do at a graduation.

[Jennifer]

It is so hard to do.

[Angie]

I mean, that bar is low.

[Jennifer]

All right, Kylie, what do we have in store for the listener today?

[Kylie]

This lesbian's gonna cheer you up, see, with some voice memos.

[Angie]

Excellent.

[Kylie]

Up first we've got Mark.

[Mark]

Hey, Jen Pumps. And my girl Kiki. Kai. Kai, Kylie girl. I don't know the lesbian. Anyway, if you haven't been able to understand here, but fellow Gageriot here work for the government. Don't even get me started on that matter mess anyway. I'm an air traffic controller also don't get me started on that mess. But obviously I work around a lot of straight men. And what I found recently that drives me up a wall is when straight men refer to their significant other or really just anybody in their family as the blank. So, like, I was talking to the wife earlier, or the wife had to go do this, or I had to drop off the daughter at such and such. For fuck's sake. Call them by their name. You don't need to just fucking itemize them or objectify them. It drives me crazy. I don't know why straight men feel like they need to pull this bullshit, like they're in charge of the wife or the daughter. Grow up. Get a fucking pair. I fucking had it.

[Jennifer]

I love him.

[Angie]

Love him.

[Jennifer]

I mean, that's just. I mean, you know, that's. That's what I like what he said there is. Grow up.

[Angie]

Grow up.

[Jennifer]

Grow up. I fucking had it. Yeah. That's what. I wish I would have stood up during that grand center.

[Angie]

Grow up.

[Jennifer]

I fucking had it. Get your ass off the stage.

[Angie]

We're done.

[Jennifer]

Go back to your therapist's office. Right?

[Angie]

Go have a therapy session about this.

[Jennifer]

But he's so right about the wife.

[Angie]

I've heard that.

[Jennifer]

That. Yes.

[Angie]

I've heard people do that. And I'm like, what? I haven't heard women do it. So I think it's straight men. I think that's who does it.

[Jennifer]

I'm gonna go ask the husband. This is stupid.

[Angie]

It's stupid.

[Jennifer]

Gross. Grow up.

[Angie]

Grow up.

[Jennifer]

All right, next.

[Angie]

Love that he's an air traffic controller.

[Kylie]

Okay, up next, we've got Gia.

[Gia]

Hi. Jessica Pumpernickel and fellow lesbian Kathy. This is Gaytria Gia calling from New York. I have to say, I've always had it with the monthly baby updates on Instagram, and the moms will be like, braxton is three months old. He likes to smile, make eye contact, and poop in his diaper. Like, no shit, it's a baby. Like, those are all developmental milestones. Like. Like that's what it's supposed to be doing. Don't get me wrong. Like, I'm glad that your baby is on track and nothing's wrong, but they. They act like that their baby is the first to do it. And especially when the baby, like, first comes out. Why are you telling me it's stats? Why do I need to know how long it is? What am I supposed to do with that information? You sound like you're announcing it at a WWE match. Like, in this corner, weighing in at 7 pounds, 6 ounces, 19 inches long. Brinley. Be so serious.

[Angie]

I love her use of the names. Braxton, Brinley. Yeah, she's so right.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. I mean, I just. The. The interest in other people's babies is just. It's nil. It is none. Zero interest whatsoever. Unless you're related to that baby.

[Angie]

Right? Unless you have a special connection to the person that has the baby or are related to the baby. You universally don't give A nobody gives.

[Jennifer]

A shit, especially about the stats. Yeah.

[Angie]

Joe blow, you know, two cities away, has a seven pound, 13 inch baby that at three months makes eye contact.

[Jennifer]

Nobody cares he's in the 90th percentile. Or he, you know, like, that's stupid. There's. In general, there's a lot of stats that people give out for their children or grandchildren that nobody else cares about that are unnecessary. They're completely unnecessary. Because what you have is an average human being. Right. That maybe did a little bit above average on something.

[Angie]

Which. Did they do something above average? If they're in the 90th percentile? It's not like they did anything. They're just growing. But people throw it out there like it's an achievement.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Angie]

Like he achieved to be £1 over the 90th percentile at birth. Well, shut the up.

[Jennifer]

And what would be interesting is if somebody had a baby and it's like he came out of the womb speaking fluid French. It was unbelievable. That's.

[Angie]

Interested in.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, I want to hear about that. He. I mean, this kid could speak five languages by the age of five. That's exceptional. That's extraordinary. Your child doing well on an examination or growing to a particular height is not that interesting. It's not that unique. It's something that is shared by lots and lots and lots of people. You keep that in the circle. There is a. There is a circle wherein you can talk about your children's accolades, where you can brag and the people are proud to hear it. And that is your inner circle. When you take that outside of the inner circle, you've got the grandstander. Like you have it at the graduation. You've got just somebody who's a total unaware prick, grandstanding and nobody wants to hear it. Yeah.

[Angie]

And do you think this is a function of. Because we had kids before social media. This is a function of social media. I mean, we didn't send out cards once a month.

[Jennifer]

It's. It's just worse now that I remember getting all sorts of shit. And the worst. You know what? Social media has made it better. I used to have to hear this in person.

[Angie]

See, I just.

[Jennifer]

Real time.

[Angie]

I just remember getting like Christmas cards once a year. That was the only update I got on people's kids or families other than the people I ran with.

[Jennifer]

I remember the people I ran with hearing updates about measurements, weights, words, crawling speed, rate, steps.

[Angie]

Yeah. So, okay, but the public at large, it. You're right. You're right. Now that I think about it, you're right.

[Jennifer]

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[Angie]

What I didn't realize is when you get older your hair starts falling out. So this has been a huge gift to me, something that I can do and I don't even realize I'm doing. I can do it While I watch.

[Jennifer]

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[Kylie]

Okay, up next, we've got Sarah.

[Sarah]

Good morning, Leica, Hbic, and Katie. However, we're referring to Kylie as these days. This is Sarah coming to you from Phoenix. And I had an idea. Given that Josh is a hypochondriac and the immense financial burden that I'm sure that takes upon your family, I was thinking that if dumbass maggots can raise half a million dollars for a racist, vile piece of shit who also attacks people with. With a neurodivergence, then you know what? I think we should have a GoFundMe to help the Welches with all their medical expenses. I mean, it's the least we could do. You know, the ladies bring us this awesome podcast. They share their grievances with us. The least we could do is take some of that financial burden off. Okay, love you.

[Jennifer]

Bye. Okay, I have a huge update for the listener. So Pumps knows some of this. So some of this won't be an update yet, but some of it will be. So we all know he thought he had a brain disorder and demanded a CAT scan of his brain, wherein they found he was perfectly normal. And then he started honing in on his ears. He spent a couple of days on the sofa with chronic earwax that was so debilitating, it prohibited him from going to work. And then he got some doctor in a headlock who agreed that the hole in his eardrum, which my sister's third ex husband was an ENT surgeon, repaired like 20 years ago, that he could go back in and re repair the hole in the eardrum. So the surgery day arrives, and it's last Monday. Pumps and I drop him off at surgery. And then there's like, tornadoes, warnings, hail, all this stuff right at the time I have to drive to get him, and it's in an area of Oklahoma that I detest. It is the megachurch portion of Oklahoma City, which is the suburb of Edmond, isn't it?

[Angie]

Right next door to a megachurch?

[Jennifer]

It's just mega. Hell, yeah. Is what it is up there, right? Yeah. There's that big giant cross.

[Angie]

Right.

[Jennifer]

Because that's. That. That's a great way to spend your money.

[Angie]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

Build a giant cross nonetheless. So I have to go up into God's country to retrieve Josh from the hospital. On my way up there, the surgeon calls me and says, hi, this is Dr. Such and Such, which I just want you to know I was able to go in and I didn't have to do this or that. But at the end of the day, I hope his Ear is the way he wants it. Which to me sounded like something a plastic surgeon would say after giving, you know, a neck lift or a boob job. Well, I hope her boobs are the way she wants them. So I call Pumps and I tell her that the surgeon said this because she's like. She's encouraged, encouraging me to be nice about everything because she knows that I am spent with the hypochondria, the five rehab stints, the five family weeks. I'm just spent, you guys. It's just. It's difficult for me sometimes to conjure up the empathy. So Pumps is my cheerleader, right? So I call her and I say, you're not going to believe this. As I'm driving out to the MAGA Hellscape, Edmond, Oklahoma, the doctors called me and he said, direct quote, I hope his ear is the way he wants. That's it. And Pump says, jenny, do not say that to him when you go pick him up. Can you at least wait a week? And I said, okay, you're right. You're right. And I want to give you a report of what happened when I walked into the recovery room.

[Angie]

Okay, I haven't heard this.

[Jennifer]

So I walked in the recovery room, and he's sitting there eating, like, tapioca, right? Jelly crackers. I go, there's our little patient. And he had, like, a big cotton ball in his ear. And I was like, are you about ready to go home? And he's like, yeah, I'm just starving. You know, they wouldn't let me eat all day. Did you talk to the doctor? I said, yeah. He said, he hopes your ear is the way you want it immediately.

[Angie]

You couldn't control it. In fact, what you said in that phone call was. I said, do not bring this up. At least wait a while. Don't. Don't do this. And you go, oh, I'm never gonna bring it up. You said never. You said, I am never gonna bring up it up, only to find out that five minutes later, you bring it up.

[Jennifer]

I think it could have been within 90 seconds.

[Angie]

You just couldn't hold it.

[Jennifer]

I. I think. I can't even say within the first 32nd, I. Angie, it just. It came out. It just. It just came.

[Angie]

That's why we had a conscious plan going forward. Not letting it.

[Jennifer]

It just came out.

[Angie]

What was his response now? I got to know.

[Jennifer]

He kind of, like, chuckled a little bit. And I. And. And I said, you know, like, it sounded like. And I went there. I said I sounded like something like a plastic surgeon would Say, yeah. Then the nurse comes in. Nicest nurses. So despite my hating Edmund, this hospital, fantastic. All the people that work there, so nice. Everybody was so like a. And like, there was hailstorm, tornado, all this shit. And I'm picking up the hypo with his elective surgery, right.

[Angie]

With his boob job, slash ear.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. So she's real sweet. So we start going through all the stuff. Stuff. Well, we're one week post op. Okay. And now he goes around the house and he can't hear out of the ear that they did the surgery on. I don't know if there's fluid buildup. I don't know what the problem is, but he cannot hear. And then last night he's talking about he can't hear, and if he covers up this ear, he's just completely deaf.

[Angie]

He's deaf.

[Jennifer]

And so I said, said I just went there again. I go, you know, this is what happens when you just start having a bunch of surgeries and tinkering with stuff. Stuff just doesn't work out the way it's supposed to.

[Angie]

You just couldn't help it.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, I did. And I thought, Angie's going to be so disappointed in me.

[Angie]

Yeah. I mean, I just thought we were really. I thought we had reached an agreement because you said, I'm never. Do you remember saying never?

[Jennifer]

Yeah, I do.

[Angie]

And I think you meant it in the moment, to your credit. I think you were like, I can do it.

[Jennifer]

I think I did, too.

[Angie]

But then you just got in there and you saw him with the tapioca, an ear thing, and you're just like, this is all for fucking not. I can't take it anymore.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. My dogs are scared to death. I know that. My tubby gets terrified of thunderstorms and hail storms. He's left home unattended so that I can go pick up Josh, which is high times, you know, with his tapioca pudding and his big cotton ball in his ear. And I'm risking my life driving up to God's country to pick him up next to the big, giant Christian cross. But, yeah, no, you've been really disappointed.

[Angie]

Yeah, I really. I really. Here's the deal. I didn't. I didn't expect it to be never. I never thought we were getting to never, but I didn't think we'd. I. I mean, I thought we could go past surgery day.

[Jennifer]

Right when it came out. Right when it came out, I could just see your face in my mind and you'd be just sitting there going, you just always have to Be a.

[Angie]

You just can't. You just can't let it rot.

[Jennifer]

Be a.

[Angie]

You can't just hold your tongue one time.

[Jennifer]

I could.

[Angie]

No.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. I couldn't. And I. It was involuntary. It was like. I mean, it was just like. It just came out. Yeah. But I think this is what happens. Listener. You know, 25 years of marriage, rehab stance. A lot of. There's a lot of our relationship has been very Josh centered.

[Angie]

I would say probably.

[Jennifer]

Probably 95.

[Angie]

I was gonna say 85.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. And so then you just get to a point where you just can't center on it anymore.

[Angie]

Right.

[Jennifer]

It doesn't mean I don't love him. It doesn't mean I don't know what's. Want what's best for him. It just means there's a deficit that I can't overcome. Sometimes to be, like, super empathetic in these moments. Moments combined with the fact that we have a history of hypochondria that I don't want to enable.

[Angie]

Also, your tolerance for medical stuff is low anyway. It's like the perfect storm. It's the three things. Hypochondria, you hate. You're not great in medical situations.

[Jennifer]

No.

[Angie]

And the fact that you've been married to him for 25 years. That. I mean, it's the perfect storm.

[Jennifer]

You get to throw in the narcissism. Right. Both his and mine.

[Angie]

Right.

[Jennifer]

Conflicting with one another. Yeah.

[Angie]

But I do. After you've been married 25 years, I don't think anyone would be just like, oh, my gosh, I can't wait to get to the hospital for my husband's elective.

[Jennifer]

Here's the deal. Here's the problem with this pumps. Most people would have stayed at the hospital.

[Angie]

You were going to let him Uber. I was to the hospital and I said, no, we're not doing that. She was going to let him take an Uber to surgery. And I was just like, no, we're not.

[Jennifer]

I was. Because here's the thing. Here's the thing. I know all of this sounds really. And I'm not saying that it's not. I'm just saying that there has been a drain on me.

[Angie]

The account's overdrawn.

[Jennifer]

The account is overdrawn and he is making deposits, and it's good. But when we are on the sofa for a couple days with an earwax.

[Angie]

Buildup, which I can confirm that's true.

[Jennifer]

That then rapidly accelerates to a surgery, I tend to think, this is not my problem. Is this a problem? Is this an imaginary problem? I think I'll deep dive into work. And it's just, you know, I. There's people that are all in each other's business. And there's been a time in Josh, in my marriage, where we have. I have been all up in his shit, and that didn't behoove me. I was codependent. I, you know, wanted to be right in the epicenter of all of his shit. Monitoring, making sure the surgeon didn't prescribe opiates or narcotics. And I just felt like I had to be there to control it. And I don't feel like I have to do any of that anymore.

[Angie]

I think that's huge growth.

[Jennifer]

I do too. But I'm also a bitch.

[Angie]

Also probably needs.

[Jennifer]

I'm a growing.

[Angie]

You're a growing bitch. But I do think, in your defense, it is the perfect storms of all the things that make you crazy.

[Jennifer]

I appreciate that you are so sweet pumps that you're trying to give Josh a defense and me a defense. The fact of the matter is, I'm kind of bitchy about the ear stuff, and I'll own it. Yeah, I am. I'm bitchy about the ear stuff. The caller is so nice about the GoFundMe to pay for the medical expenses. Fortunately, we have great insurance, and so I would want to those funds to go to our other caller. Abused LGBTQ and homeless youth. But, you know, I just. I think that there's just no question I'm kind of a especially medical situation. I know. I know.

[Angie]

I knew the train was going south when he stayed home from work because of ear wax. I knew right then we were on a. We were at the top.

[Jennifer]

Let me ask you this. If your ex husband did that shit, would you not be homicidal at all?

[Angie]

100%. That's why I can't throw you under the bus too much, because my ex husband was a hypochondriac. He would stay home from work for diarrhea, and then he'd be like, where are you going? What are you doing? I'm like, why the do you care? 360 days a year. You don't care. And now you want to ask me where I'm going? Go yourself. No. So I get it.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Angie]

That's why I can't throw you completely under the bus.

[Jennifer]

I know. All right, well, that's all I have. Nobody in this office is a high typo.

[Angie]

No.

[Jennifer]

Kylie works through being sick. Seth worked through a kidney stone for days. I can't. Yeah, we all kind of push through. It's it's fever is the only thing that takes any of us down.

[Angie]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

Kylie, have you ever missed work due to earwax?

[Kylie]

I have not, but I'm. I'll consider it for the future right.

[Angie]

Now that, you know, it's. It's a. It's an excuse that'll get you out of work.

[Jennifer]

How do you think, like, like, what do you think would happen if you emailed your boss and said, dear Jennifer, I'm unable to come to work today due to an ear wax. Chronic ear wax buildup, so I'm staying at home?

[Kylie]

I think you'd show up at my door.

[Angie]

Yeah, I mean, I'm just driving.

[Jennifer]

I think I would just reply, you're fired.

[Angie]

Right. I mean, that's just such a bad excuse. That is such a bad experience.

[Jennifer]

Now, granted, in Josh's defense, the only people he told was me, and the only people I'm telling is our listener. Right?

[Angie]

Just our.

[Jennifer]

Our listener. Our lone listener.

[Angie]

Right.

[Jennifer]

But, you know, I. I just. I just can't imagine being so fixated on problems that don't exist. Yeah. And I'm just going to say this. I think that that tell from that surgeon. I hope his ear is the way he wants it. I just think that tells us what we have here is electricity.

[Angie]

Elective.

[Jennifer]

Elective surgery.

[Angie]

We didn't have to have it.

[Jennifer]

That's what I think. And now he can't hear. And it.

[Angie]

You know, the fucked up part of me, and this is so bad, and I don't want to.

[Jennifer]

You want him to be deaf? To have a hearing aid?

[Angie]

I want him to have to have. I don't want him to be deaf, but I do want him to have to wear a hearing aid. And that's terrible. That is terrible. But he's just so fucking vain that I just. Just for a little bit, not for a long time, but just like three or four days, they said, okay, you're never going to be able to hear again. But you. Unless for five days, 24 hours a day, you wear a hearing aid and you have. You can't stay home from work because the hearing. Like, you have to go to the Oklahoma county courthouse. I kind of want that.

[Jennifer]

Okay, let me ask you this. On the scale of hearing aids, you have like, the little ones that you can't see, or you have the old school where you see, like the whole plastic thing up and over it, like, you can see my. This. These are our little earpieces. That's like, no, I want the big white one.

[Angie]

Yeah, that's ear Shaped that, like, slides in your ear and it has the big thing over it. That's all. Yes. I want most. And then I want him to be incordant to go. You know how sometimes hearing aids.

[Jennifer]

Oh, they squeak? Yes.

[Angie]

I kind of want that to go down a few times.

[Jennifer]

I just thought of something horrible. What if he's deaf? And then I have to go through a cochlear implant surgery with him?

[Angie]

Wow. Because that would be necessary. That would be medically necessary. But then here's what you would do. You would say none of this would have happened if you wouldn't had the first ear surgery. So blah, blah, blah, blah.

[Jennifer]

You justify it to yourself that it all stems from.

[Angie]

Right.

[Jennifer]

Well, he goes for his checkup tomorrow. And so he's been on me about how he can't hear. I'm just like. I mean, you just need to talk to the doctor. He thinks he got the ear the way you wanted it. You're such a. I know I am, but I. I don't know why we're all in this situation. My sister's third ex husband fixed. Fixed the hole in the ear 20 years ago.

[Angie]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

Well, Josh wanted to revisit it. And I want to remind everybody. This started with. He thought he had brain disease. Right.

[Angie]

He thought he was getting dementia. Then it was a brain disease. But I. I also wonder how much he. I can't hear. Can he not really hear?

[Jennifer]

According to him, he's completely deaf.

[Angie]

I just don't believe.

[Jennifer]

Completely deaf in that ear.

[Angie]

I. I just think that might be an exaggeration.

[Jennifer]

I'll tell you what. Here's what will do. I'm going to go stay at your house.

[Angie]

Okay?

[Jennifer]

Okay. Kick your kids out because I know they're home from the summer. I'm going to stay at your house. I'll stay with all the dogs. You go belly up with Josh for about a week, and then you circle back with me.

[Angie]

Yeah. No, I'm not saying it's fun. I'm not. I'm not saying. I just love it.

[Jennifer]

Okay. All right, listen. That's all we have for today. Please send us stories about your life partner. Partners. Hypochondria. Because we're a dump truck of the victims of hypochondria. And that's something nobody talks about. The victims of hypochondriac. Not the hypochondriac, but the people who live near the hypochondriac and what they go through. Is there any support group for that?

[Angie]

The caregivers of hypochondria.

[Jennifer]

Right.

[Angie]

Maybe you could start one.

[Jennifer]

Right. I'll call it Nurse Ratchet Support Group. All right, so I have. Listen, this is super important. Pumps. And I wrote a book. It is called Life is a Lazy Susan of Sandwiches. And what was that? It was me doing like a Vanna White with our product. You can do it. Here. You do it. You. You tell the listener about the book.

[Angie]

It's our manifesto.

[Jennifer]

I see. That's good. I love that.

[Angie]

Here we go.

[Jennifer]

Tell. What is it about?

[Angie]

It's about our lives, our friendship, how we got here. And you. You only thought you knew the story, but the real story is in the book. So get the book.

[Jennifer]

Smile. And then how do they get it?

[Angie]

You can go to any of your local book dealers or you can order at the Lincoln Bio.

[Jennifer]

All right. And then tell them we will see.

[Angie]

You next Tuesday and Thursday. I thought I did really good on that. You are a.

[Jennifer]

I'll tell you what I've had it with.

[Angie]

Let's hear it.

[Jennifer]

I've had it with that. Listen up, patriots, Gatriots and Natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called I Hip News. It's Monday through Friday. Every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America. Always served with a side of petty grievances.

[Angie]

We are on all the available platforms. Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcast and YouTube.

[Jennifer]

Please go, rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind. Pumps. Pumps. What does an eagle say?

[Angie]

Caca.

[Jennifer]

A little bit more enthusiasm. That's it. That's. That's. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.

[Kylie]

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