Micro Penis Parade

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Micro Penis Parade" | I’ve Had It Released: April 3, 2025

Hosts: Jennifer Welch and Angie “Pumps” Sullivan
Guests: Various listeners

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1. Introduction to Inefficiency in Public Spaces (02:16 - 05:00)

One of the primary topics Jennifer and Angie delve into is the widespread inefficiency observed in public spaces, specifically focusing on ATM usage. Angie expresses frustration with individuals who linger excessively at ATMs, delaying the processing of transactions and inconveniencing those waiting in line.

Notable Quotes:

• Angie (02:16): "What I've had it with is people that have no urgency in the ATM line."
• Jennifer (02:53): "A lot of lollygagging and pussyfooting going on at the ATM."

They discuss regional differences, noting that residents of large urban centers like New York City and London tend to be more efficient compared to those in smaller cities or states like Oklahoma, where inefficiency and superficial friendliness dominate interactions.

Notable Quotes:

• Jennifer (04:05): "People in New York seem to be more genuinely courteous than people in Oklahoma."
• Angie (05:00): "We have the ATM congestors. I've experienced the same thing."

2. Personal Anecdote: Dealing with Hypochondria (05:00 - 12:34)

Jennifer shifts the conversation to a personal story about her husband, Josh, whom she describes as a chronic hypochondriac. She recounts Josh's relentless pursuit of medical diagnoses, including forced diagnoses of COPD and dementia, despite multiple negative test results.

Notable Quotes:

• Jennifer (05:54): "I've had it with hypochondriacs. Specifically my husband, Poor Josh."
• Jennifer (07:03): "He booked a CT scan of his brain... and there's not a goddamn thing wrong with his brain."

Angie empathizes but highlights the strain such behavior places on personal relationships, emphasizing the societal challenges posed by individuals who obsessively seek medical attention without legitimate cause.

Notable Quotes:

• Angie (09:14): "He's going to get the first motherfucker that's thrown under the bus."
• Jennifer (12:34): "If you just keep bugging the shit out of the doctor, they'll do what you want."

3. Declining Happiness in the United States (12:34 - 20:23)

The hosts analyze recent news indicating that the U.S. has slipped to its lowest ranking ever in the World Happiness Report. They explore factors contributing to this decline, such as increased loneliness, dining alone, and a rise in "deaths of despair" like suicide and substance abuse.

Notable Quotes:

• Jennifer (16:24): "The US slipped to its lowest ranking ever in the World Happiness Report."
• Angie (18:42): "The reason America is so unhappy is we have a fascist running the country."

Jennifer further critiques American societal values, attributing unhappiness to the worship of money, lack of universal healthcare, suburban monotony, and political instability under the current administration.

Notable Quotes:

• Jennifer (19:00): "We worship money too much and idolize those who have a lot of money."
• Jennifer (20:23): "Suburbia is a death trap for happiness factor."

4. Critique of DEI Initiatives and Corporate Hypocrisy (20:23 - 29:20)

Jennifer and Angie express strong opposition to Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) initiatives, particularly criticizing corporations like Target for reversing their support once political winds shifted. They argue that such actions demonstrate insincerity and opportunism rather than genuine commitment to social justice.

Notable Quotes:

• Jennifer (27:00): "If you are just supporting gay people or black people because you think it's going to be monopolistically beneficial for you... you switch your mind with the changes of the political winds."
• Angie (29:08): "I have boycotted Amazon too, which is a real tough one for me."

They highlight the backlash Target faced, losing nearly $1 billion due to boycotts from the Black community, emphasizing the power and organization within marginalized groups to hold corporations accountable.

Notable Quotes:

• Jennifer (27:49): "If you are just supporting gay people or black people because you think it's going to be monopolistically beneficial for you... shame on Target for being so shallow in their support for civil rights."

5. Listener Interaction: "Micro Penis Parade" Segment (38:38 - 44:19)

A listener named Heather from Salt Lake drops a comment regarding Elon Musk's penile health, which segues into a contentious discussion between Jennifer and Angie about public figures like Elon Musk and former President Trump. They harshly criticize Musk’s alleged medical issues and Trump’s behavior, framing both as emblematic of broader societal decay.

Notable Quotes:

• Heather (38:38): "I've had it with Elon Musk, but more so the descriptions of his penis..."
• Jennifer (39:52): "If you're MAGA, you have a South African born man who does gender-affirming care..."

The hosts use derogatory language to express their disdain, portraying Musk and Trump as embodiments of toxicity and incompetence within leadership.

Notable Quotes:

• Jennifer (43:05): "Whenever I hear Elon Musk talk... what a pussy."
• Angie (44:19): "The party of grievances. And poor me, it just drives me bananas."

6. Listener Feedback and Personal Stories (44:19 - 55:47)

A listener named Kimberly shares her struggles as a black lesbian in Utah, expressing frustration with local inefficiencies and societal prejudices. Jennifer and Angie respond empathetically, discussing the challenges of navigating a predominantly white and religious environment.

Notable Quotes:

• Kimberly (50:17): "I'm not a stay-at-home mom and I need to get to work..."
• Jennifer (51:08): "Former Mormons messaged me and told me that the reason they send them out at 18 and 19 is so that they get rejected by the world."

Additionally, the hosts share humorous personal anecdotes, such as chasing cop cars and dealing with minor injuries, blending their complaints with relatable humor.

Notable Quotes:

• Jennifer (51:27): "We went and pursued. Why did we do that?"
• Angie (53:04): "She was a big titty baby when I tried to clean her ears out."

7. Promotional Segments and Merchandise (55:47 - 57:39)

The episode includes promotional segments for the hosts' merchandise and other products, such as ASPCA Pet Health Insurance, Lumi deodorant, Meaningful Beauty skincare, Branch Basics cleaning products, and Audible. These segments are interspersed with their ongoing commentary.

Notable Quotes:

• Jennifer (32:00): "It's sponsored by ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Program."
• Angie (33:06): "I'm not as ambitious as you with the tennis..."

8. Closing Remarks and Final Ads (57:39 - End)

Jennifer and Angie wrap up the episode by promoting their upcoming book, encouraging listeners to subscribe and review their podcast, and making final endorsements for products like Kleenex Ultra Soft Tissues.

Notable Quotes:

• Jennifer (55:17): "You need to pre-order that book. You need to subscribe to our YouTube channel."
• Angie (57:23): "Flowers are blooming, birds are singing. And allergies. Yeah, they're back, too."

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Conclusion

In this episode of "I’ve Had It," Jennifer Welch and Angie “Pumps” Sullivan navigate a range of topics from personal frustrations with inefficiency in public spaces and dealing with a hypochondriac spouse to broader societal critiques of DEI initiatives, corporate hypocrisy, and political leadership under figures like Elon Musk and Donald Trump. Their discussions are laced with humor, sarcasm, and candid opinions, providing listeners with an unfiltered take on contemporary issues. The episode also features interactions with listeners, adding a personal touch to their critiques.

Final Notable Quotes:

• Jennifer (56:48): "We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google..."
• Angie (57:22): "Flowers are blooming, birds are singing. And allergies. Yeah, they're back, too."

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This comprehensive summary captures the essence of the "Micro Penis Parade" episode, highlighting key discussions, personal anecdotes, and the hosts' perspectives on various societal and political issues.

Transcript

[Angie]

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[Jennifer]

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[Angie]

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[Jennifer]

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[Angie]

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[Jennifer]

Ready?

[Angie]

1, 2, 3.

[Jennifer]

Wow, she's back.

[Angie]

I mean, I'm back. I even remembered to do it. It wasn't. It didn't startle me that I had to clap like it sometimes does.

[Jennifer]

Patriots, gaytriots, and they trots.

[Angie]

I thought we weren't doing it.

[Jennifer]

I know. I just. I wanted to see. I want. I wanted to see what you would do. What's the beaver sound? You know what I mean? I think we're just like a hybrid Eagle. Beaver. Bvgol.

[Angie]

Bvgol.

[Jennifer]

I don't know.

[Angie]

America's.

[Jennifer]

Welcome to America's top DEI podcast pumps. What have you had it with?

[Angie]

Okay, what I've had it with is people that have no urgency in the ATM line. So there's like five cars rolled up waiting on the atm and the ATM person dicks around with their card. They don't just get their money and put it in the cart. They want to put it in their wallet, make sure it's all organized, count their money. I'm just like, the machine's going to give you the money, move on down the road. If you have an issue, you're Going to have to go in the bank anyway. Go, go, go, go, go. There are five people in line. Have some urgency and some self awareness that it's not the time to clean out your wallet while you're sitting at the ATM machine. Have had it.

[Jennifer]

You know, I think a lot of people don't take into account the feelings of the people behind them in line. And you see this all the time. It could be at a restaurant. You have the register congestors that we've talked about and identified as a huge problem in Trump's America. And then now we have the ATM congestors. And I've experienced the same thing. I'm like you, you have to get, get in and out. And then when you get your cash or your receipt or whatever, then you move up, right? And when you're not hindering anybody's ability to access the coveted machine, then you can organize your own things. But I agree there's a lot of lollygagging and pussyfooting going on at the atm.

[Angie]

It's the worst. My dad, when he was alive, he was the worst at this one time I went to the ATM with him, he pulled out his wallet, he puts the card in, he's dicking around, he puts his wallet back in. It was five to seven minutes and I just looked at him and I said, every single person in this line and every single person in this bank hates your guts.

[Jennifer]

It's just chaos at these ATMs.

[Angie]

People are just rude and inefficient. I mean, people as a species are inefficient. You can see it at the airport, at the atm, Anytime you have a crowd of people, it's mass inefficiency.

[Jennifer]

I also think some of it is regional. Like because when I go to New York City or London, people that live in big cities learn to be efficient. They learn to be a member of a fine tuned machine. Millions of people live in the same place at the same time and they seem to be more efficient. I would say where we live, it's like this breathtaking inefficiency and this feeling like I'm the only person on the planet at this ATM machine. I have found the people in New York to be more genuinely courteous than people in Oklahoma. And this is a lot of people think, oh, people in the south are so friendly. Well, it's all a facade. The Southern friendliness is like a smoke and mirror show because it's just for the sake of doing it. There's nothing genuine behind it. In New York, if somebody genuinely is prohibiting you from going to point A to point B. Or they're taking a long time. They turn around and go, I'm so sorry I took so long.

[Angie]

Right.

[Jennifer]

It's not this faked, feigned smile. It's just a very direct, I'm so sorry I took so long. And then they turn around and scoot off. In Oklahoma, somebody could be like. And be like, I'm so sorry I took so long. And then walk up and go, but boy didn't. Weren't his pant. You know, it's. There's a. There's a lack of like. And I've found in smaller cities like ours, the. The narcissism of I'm the only customer in the universe seems to be more pronounced than in larger cities.

[Angie]

I can agree with that, because I was sitting here trying to imagine the people in this city trying to navigate the subway. They couldn't do it.

[Jennifer]

Well, I mean. No.

[Angie]

And let's discuss. What's the common denominator between these people in our community? Inefficiency, lack of self awareness, Fakeness.

[Jennifer]

Oh, I can tell you. Okay, lay it on the MAGA voters. Yep.

[Angie]

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

[Jennifer]

MAGA voters. Okay. Let me tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with hypochondriacs.

[Angie]

That is not news.

[Jennifer]

Specifically my husband, Poor Josh. And so, you know, about a month ago, Josh starts in, like, I think there's something wrong with my brain. And I'm like, what. What's going on with your brain? Sometimes I just. I. I can't really remember stuff. Sometimes I don't feel like I'm as sharp as I was. And I said brain fog. He's. No, it's more than that. It's more than that. I've been on chat GPT, which he calls chat gps. I've been on chat gps, and I just think it's more than that. Um, so then he starts and I go, look, Josh, I'm not going down this road with you. I'm not. Like, you're aging, and brain fog is a symptom of middle age. And that's what I think you have. I'm around you all the time. He's like, I think I have dementia. I'm like, you don't have dementia. You know what time it is. You know where you are. There's no problem here. But when Josh gets an idea in his head, he is hell bent on confirming said idea. So naturally, he books a CT scan of his brain.

[Angie]

Right, of course.

[Jennifer]

So he Goes straight to the neurologist and gets his brain scanned. Much to my surprise. Much to his surprise, there's not a goddamn thing wrong with his brain. But this reminded me. And of course, I just would. I wouldn't. I'm. Again, I'm more Nurse Ratched than I am Nurse Nightingale because I live with a hypochondriac. But I remember before COVID like probably about four months before COVID broke out, and it wasn't even in the news or anything yet. Josh goes through this thing where he's convinced there's something wrong with his heart and or lungs. And he proceeded to go to cardiologists, pulmonologists, internal medicine doctors. I'm talking 10 different medical doctors. He forced a COPD diagnosis from a pulmonologist, right? Because he had gone to her like five times, just browbeater. And he kept saying, there's something wrong. So she's like, okay. And he wouldn't stop. So she's like, okay, you've got asthma. She prescribes him some inhalers. He comes home, he takes hits off the inhalers. He's still convinced he's got some ill, elusive breathing problem, right? So he goes back to the same pulmonologist, brow beats the shit out of her longer. And finally he comes home, he's like, I've got copd. I'm like, oh, do you? It's interesting. And he's talking to some friends of ours that are physicians, and the physicians are like, I don't think you have copd. That's insane. Why did she diagnose you with copd? Because he sent his lung X rays to our friend that is a radiologist. And he was just like, you do not have copd. You absolutely do not have copd. And I go, I'll tell you what he has. He went to that doctor and forced this diagnosis just like he forces a sweater on a summer day. He forced a fake COPD diagnosis, and then he realizes he doesn't have it. The problem is between his brains, it's more OCD than copd and just being an all around nut. So he. I ask him, like, how'd your brain scan go? He said, I won't have the results till tomorrow. I'm like, hmm, okay. And then I go, what were the results of the brain scan? Nothing's wrong. So then he. One day, about a week after the brain scan, he's cleaning out his ears and there's a lot of wax in there. So he immediately books an appointment with an ent, of course. And he goes to the. The ENT and they pull out just gobs and gobs of wax. And he goes, I knew there was something wrong with me. So he tries to equate this fake personal dementia diagnosis with somehow being related to excess earwax. We're talking. I mean, there was a couple of days there where he's on the sofa claiming he can't hear. And so he's on the sofa claiming that he can't hear. And then we're leaving for Brazil and he's putting all these drops in his ears. And Josh doesn't do anything. Like if the prescription says put one drop per day, he's gonna put 20 drops per day. So he's putting these drops in his ear. And I go, what's going on? He goes, I've been to the auntie twice, they've cleaned out my ears, but I can't hear anything. Nobody will do anything about it.

[Angie]

He does not say that you're lying.

[Jennifer]

Looks me dead in the eye and says, nobody will do anything about it. Proceeds to put three more sets of drop in his ears on our way to the airport. And we get to the airport and he's like, my ear just feels like it's clogged. I go, because you've been cramming ear drops in it all day. You can't. So then I asked chat gps, what happens if you put too many drops in your ears? And it's exactly the symptoms that Josh is describing to me. Pump the brakes on the airdrops. We're about to get on a 12 hour flight to Sao Paulo. Pull yourself together. So of course he does. He pulls himself together. And, you know, I see him doing this with his ear quite a bit and stuff, but I think we're past it. But I'm just telling you, he is a total hypochondriac and it drives me bananas.

[Angie]

You know, it's interesting because I think it's so funny because I just don't see him as a hypochondriac.

[Jennifer]

Well, he is.

[Angie]

No, I know. I mean, I went in and I saw him that morning on the sofa and I was like.

[Jennifer]

With the earwax problem? Yeah.

[Angie]

And I said, what's wrong with Josh? And you said, he's got earwax. It's like he's on the fucking couch because he's got earwax. And you're like, oh, no, he's going back today. He's got a twofer. Yeah, two in two days.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, two clean Outs, you know, that ENT guy is like, this guy is a lunatic. That poor pulmonologist was forced into the asthma diagnosis and forced into a COPD diagnosis. You know, he'd been up there. He. He demanded that she do. He had his lungs injected with some sort of dye so that he could have some ex where the, you know, the lung lights up. Seriously. And, you know, he just keeps going. She's like, look, I don't want to get sued. I'm just going to give him some blanket diagnoses here and just move on down the road. And then, of course, that's not enough. Then we have every personal friend we have that's a physician, they're getting copies of all these tests, which they're like, you don't have asthma, nor do you have copd. Actually, your lungs look great.

[Angie]

You're fine. As it turns out, you're fine. But doesn't that tell you how easy? Not easy, but I mean, because you have to want it. And Josh really went all in on it, that. The Munchausen thing and the Munchausen by proxy. If you just keep bugging the shit out of the doctor, they'll do what you want.

[Jennifer]

Well, I think they're also terrified of getting sued. Right?

[Angie]

That's what I'm saying. I mean, they're in a catch 22.

[Jennifer]

They're in CYA mode. Cover your ass. And so, yeah, so, I mean, I don't know. I don't know what he's wanting the ENT to diagnose him with hearing loss, inner ear problems. Because then I'm like, okay, let's play the tape through. You're the most vain person on the planet. Let's say that he does say, okay, you're deaf now. We need to give you hearing aids. That's going to go over like a fucking lead balloon.

[Angie]

That just kind of makes me so happy, the thought of him having to wear a hearing aid because he is so vain and he wouldn't do it.

[Jennifer]

He keeps saying. I go, how are your ears? And we were in Brazil. How are your ears? They're fine. I can't hear anything. I said, that's so weird, because you've heard me perfectly the whole trip as you have our hosts. And he just flicks at me and he goes, I'm just telling you, I can't hear. Nobody cares. I'm like, I don't. I sure don't care.

[Angie]

I sure don't care.

[Jennifer]

Welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer.

[Angie]

I'm Angie.

[Jennifer]

She's the star. She's the beaver. She's America's greatest legal mind. And this is hilarious. Angie, tell me the story. Tell them about being in court and what? Somebody came up to you?

[Angie]

Okay. So I was in court and I was sitting next to this delightful man and he said, my wife loves your podcast. Can we get a picture? I was like, yeah, sure. And so we took a picture and she immediately responds, oh my gosh. America's greatest legal mind.

[Jennifer]

That's so good. Yeah, that's so good. And you were actually in court.

[Angie]

I was in court. And she was a lawyer too. And she's a smart person. Lawyer, like commercial.

[Jennifer]

Immediately identified America's greatest legal mind. The dawning of a beaver. America's top DEI sensation, Angela Dawn Beaver. Kylie.

[Angie]

Hi.

[Jennifer]

I'm going to do it in order this time. That. That's good.

[Angie]

I just thought a great new name of myself.

[Jennifer]

What?

[Angie]

Head Beaver in Charge.

[Jennifer]

Hbic.

[Angie]

Hbic. The Head Beaver in Charge.

[Jennifer]

It's really good. That's a really good.

[Angie]

I don't get good ideas like that often.

[Jennifer]

Well, that was a great one, Kylie. I've got a couple reviews for you guys. This one, five stars. The blonde one talks a lot. That narrows it down. Pretty funny. But that blonde one talks a lot.

[Angie]

Is that me or her? We're both blonde.

[Jennifer]

That's the joke.

[Angie]

Oh, got it.

[Jennifer]

Okay, this one is 5 stars. Titled Proud Beaver in Meemaw's Dam. Yes. Finally coming out of the closet as an I hip fan and ripping off my shame dumps. And Jessica could very well be my mother as I am a 19 year old transtriot. But I wouldn't want to spend my days at work listening to anything else. But these ladies finally refreshing to see elder women parentheses Jessica, much younger. Yeah. Address the real pressing issues like children existing and white women with their fake positive attitudes. I'm drinking their kool Aid loud and proud. Now, as one of the beavers in the dam. I'm a real nasty caca.

[Angie]

That's fantastic.

[Jennifer]

See, you know, I mean, I think the situation with caca is it's a battle cry.

[Angie]

It kind of.

[Jennifer]

And I prematurely shelved it.

[Angie]

You did just.

[Jennifer]

Kylie.

[Angie]

Jack, impulsively.

[Jennifer]

Don't you think I prematurely shelved caca? I think you did. Yeah. That was an impulsive. You know what? That wouldn't have happened in Kamala Harris's America. No, it would not have happened in Kamala Harris's America.

[Angie]

No.

[Jennifer]

This episode is supported by FX's Dying for Sex, starring Michelle Williams and Jenny Slate. Inspired by a true story. This series follows Molly who, after receiving a terminal cancer diagnosis, decides to leave her husband to explore the full breadth of her sexual desires. She gets the courage and support to go on this sex quest from her best friend Nikki, who stays by her side through it all. FX's Dying for Sex all episodes streaming April 4th on Hulu. Listener do you want the fastest growing GLP1 for half the list price? Ro has got you. But don't take my word for it. Let's listen to the star of our show Pumps share her experience about her journey with ro.

[Angie]

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[Jennifer]

This formula from Eli Lilly hits not one but two hormones to curb hunger and with less nausea, weight loss? It's faster, confidence higher, and the price? It's cheaper. Join the over 385,000 people who have already chosen RO to access GLP1s. Go to Ro Co Hadit to see if you qualify. That's Ro Co Hadit. Go to Ro Co Safety for boxed warning and full safety information about GLP1 medications. 15% weight loss is based on a study in non diabetics with obesity or overweight weight with a weight related condition on 5mg of medication and when paired with diet and exercise, half the list price when compared to auto injector pins and when paying cash without applying insurance or savings cards. I have some news stories. This will come as no surprise to anyone. The US slips to its lowest ranking ever in the World Happiness Report. So we're at our lowest ranking ever. This decline continues a downward trend from previous years where the US ranked 23rd and we were actually 15th in 2023. Several factors contribute to the US's declining happiness ranking. Notably, there has been a significant increase in individuals dining alone. Approximately 26% of U.S. adults reported eating all their meals alone on any given Day, a 53% rise since 2003. The trend correlates with increased feelings of loneliness and red social support, both of which negatively impact overall well being. Additionally, the US has experienced a rise in deaths of despair, including those of suicide, alcohol abuse, drug overdose, further influencing its lower happiness ranking. Interestingly, Finland was number one.

[Angie]

I was going to say the reason America is so unhappy is we have a fascist running the country. That's my opinion.

[Jennifer]

I think, I do think, I do think that makes people unhappy, but I think we worship money too much and worship those that have money too much. And it's such a part of the American identity to be like, to want to dry hump capitalism at all times and to reprogram your brain into thinking, what is the. What is the benefit of this worshiping money so much? Does money make your life easier? 100%. When you get a lot of money can even make you happy? Of course it can. But the worship of it, the worship of money and idolizing those who have a lot of money, when we have so many people that don't have health care, that the minimum wage is pennies, I think it leads to a very unhappy community. Whereas in Scandinavia, everybody has health care. Women are, you know, in positions of power all over the. They don't have religion in these places. And I just think that the way we have set up the United States multiple ways, city planning, you have to drive your car everywhere. I think that suburbia is death trap for happiness factor. I think if your house looks like everybody else's house and you know, everybody kind of does that, lives the same way, does all the same stuff, I think that's dreadfully boring. And that would make you unhappy. I think all the Trump dumps and you having a president has a goddamn flea market, that's depressing as shit. So I don't know how we reverse course, but I mean, it's.

[Angie]

I see it, I find myself being more. I wouldn't say depressed, but since the election, with every day I wake up with this foreboding like, what's happened? And then I'm never just, you know, I'm never like, oh, nothing happened last night, or nobody broke the law last night, or nobody leaked war plans on the Internet, that kind of thing. So I do just have an unease that I have never had before.

[Jennifer]

You know, when we were in Brazil, I was. First of all, I was like, oh, my God, like 23 million people live in this city. That was crazy, because when you're in the United States, all you ever hear about is US centered news. But I was thinking about just returning to the United States. And before this trip, when I was abroad and I would return to the United States, I knew that I was returning to a place that at least I believed in trying to get better with time. Each year, each presidential term, trying our best to improve things. And this time, as I woke up that morning to board the plane, I was like, I'm going back to a place where the people in charge are hell bent on tearing it down, and they're hell bent on any advancement that women have made, any advancement that the LGBTQ+ community has made, they're completely erasing black identity from all of the government websites. So all the civil rights advancements, they want to completely undo. And that's just. It was just. It hit me like a ton of bricks thinking I'm returning to a place that is no longer the place for 50 years that I needed to believe that it was, that this government that's in place right now wants to dismantle all of these things. And here's something that I've had it with. The little Caroline Levitt, the little White House press secretary, that little cunt, Let me tell you, she has her job because of women, right, that had a backbone, that fought for everybody, that didn't throw anybody under the bus. That's why she has that job. And the fact that she would join an administration where she would want to take away all of those advancements is so disgusting to me. The same with that queen at the Secretary of the Treasury, Scott Besant. He has that job because of activists in the LGBTQ community that fought hard to normalize and to say, these people should not be shamed. They should not. They should have all of the laws applied to them. So he's going to get to that position and beat down all of those before him and the rights for all of those that come after him. Abhorrent. And then you have Kash Patel, brown skin. At the end of the day, you think all those white supremacists that you're working with, you're going to be the first motherfucker that's thrown under the bus. It's just jaw dropping. The fact that Candace Owens, a female and a black one at that, uses to exploit the same people that 20, 30 years ago would have never given her the time of day. And they trot her out like she's their trophy. It just disgusts me when people cherry pick their human rights. I think it's just disgusting and dangerous.

[Angie]

I agree with you. It always. I'm always like, what? When I hear Candice Owens open her mouth, Cash Patel's loyalty to Trump, Caroline Levitt, I mean, she grosses me out worse than Kaylee Ann Mac.

[Jennifer]

And does he have any black people in his cabinet?

[Angie]

I think Cash Patel's the darkest person.

[Jennifer]

But does he have, like, an African American in his cabinet?

[Angie]

I don't think so. Not to my knowledge. Because, remember, he didn't. Tim Scott was, pick me, pick me, pick me. He didn't pick him. Yeah, but that's not shocking at all.

[Jennifer]

No, it doesn't, it doesn't shock me at all. But it's just, it's, it's really, it's really hurtful to the progress that so many people have made. And you know, when you study American history and you see the horrible things that happened like slavery and segregation, and then you study the civil rights movement, you see the brave people that, you know, marched on the bridge and Rosa Parks and MLK that did all of these amazing cool things and you see this administration go and just want to wipe all that out and say, oh, it's just dei. When the peace people that are calling other people DEI are the most incompetent, stupid, double digit IQ pieces of this country's ever produced. They shouldn't be in charge of anything. They are flea market, game show host, rat trap, nut jobs. I've just, it's so gross. It disgusts me each and every day.

[Angie]

Could not agree more.

[Jennifer]

Okay, another news story. Not as uplifting either. I was gonna say we really study shows half of Americans have gotten ruder since the pandemic. About 47 of adult adults say public behavior has worsened with 34 noticing rude behavior in public. And I'm just going to say I think this is 100 true.

[Angie]

I completely agree. And this is, I was going to say this last time and we kind of got off track. I prefer to eat my meals every time I go. Every time I go out to dinner with a group of people, I sit there and think, I wish I was by myself. Because when I'm done, I can get the check, I can go, I can sit down, I can order, I don't have to, to talk for five hours about what's on the menu. I'm getting to where I prefer it so that people that eat alone, I think embrace it, enjoy it, write your own ticket. That's my thing.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, I agree. I don't have a problem eating alone at all. And with regards to the pandemic, I think this is really true in my interior design business. After the lockdown, everybody came out and they wanted to redecorate their house and redo their house. Cause they had spent so much time nesting. So it was kind of like a business boom. But oh my God, the shift in the way people treated their designers and other vendors. And of course, because everybody was doing it, the supply chain was whacked out, prices were going up and I just thought, I really hate everybody. I really hate everybody. And I had this fabulous job that was all about creativity. And making the landscape the backdrop for people's Christmas mornings, Thanksgivings where they brought their babies home from the hospital. It was a really privileged to do it. The two years after Covid people were awful. And that had to have happened in every industry across the board.

[Angie]

No, I completely agree. And it was a big, it was a big post. Covid divorce boom too. As a shock to know what.

[Jennifer]

Oh yeah. Oh yeah, I can totally see that. Okay, next up, this is some good news. Target reportedly lost nearly $1 billion after boycott and DEI rollbacks. Target has always was always kind of like the cutting edge of we're going to support LGBTQ rights, we're going to support dei, blah, blah. Then Trump wins and then all of a sudden they jump on the oligarch bandwagon and they decide they're going to roll back their DEI support, the support of diversity, equity, inclusion. And the customers of Target, specifically black people, are not to be trifled with.

[Angie]

That's right.

[Jennifer]

And they get online and they organize and Target is feeling this to the tune of $1 billion. And what I have to say about this is people do not like the short sighted in authenticity. I think it's so gross. If you are just supporting gay people or black people because you think it's going to be monopoly beneficial for you and not because you feel it's the right thing to do, then you're a Target. You just switch your mind with the changes of the political winds. And I think that's so gross. I have always stood in my support of social justice, my support of civil rights, my support of equality, and it's never changed. And right now it's more difficult to express those opinions. But I feel that much more emboldened to do it because of the targets. And I'm not going to be scared of a bunch of men in the Trump administration that wear eyeliner and makeup all the time talking about how alpha they are trying to bully us into not speaking out against. Then it's just insane. And I support people boycotting Target and shame on Target for being so shallow in their support for civil rights.

[Angie]

Absolutely. And I have boycotted Amazon too, which is a real tough one for me.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Angie]

Because I, Jeff Bezos, perfect example, he accepted like a human rights award.

[Jennifer]

Right.

[Angie]

Because of his DEI programs with Amazon. And then he turned and fled so fast.

[Jennifer]

It's just. That's so gross. And you know what? I think that a lot of black people felt that during Black Lives Matter. Right. They felt like it was a trendy bandwagon thing. For people to post about. But as soon as the winds changed, you saw the, you know, either overt racism or covert racism come back and it. That would be exhausting. Being black in America when it's popular and everybody is all about Black Lives Matter and it's this big movement. But I remember some, you know, seeing it online and some. Some friends of mine that are black that were like, we'll see how long this lasts. We'll see how long people really stay new. How gross.

[Angie]

It's so gross.

[Jennifer]

Okay, I believe that that concludes the first part of this podcast and the second part of America's Top DEI Podcast. We like to hear from you, the listener. Okay, up first we've got Jenny. Hey, ladies. I love you so much. Calling out here from the middle of Indiana, blue dot in a red state.

[Angie]

Okay, I have the best idea for you, period.

[Jennifer]

You know how you have retaken the eagle, and we all appreciate that so much. And pumps does her famous, which I do with her every time. Okay, So I think you need to switch it from to a nice fuck off. Like this. Fuck off.

[Angie]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jennifer]

What do you think? I think it's a great idea. I love you guys so much. I live for you. I'm obsessed with you and thank you.

[Angie]

For everything you do.

[Jennifer]

You know what? I think that she's onto something. Because I was feeling like the caca was growing stale. So I tabled it. And then I thought maybe I prematurely tabled it. But what it was is it needed to evolve.

[Angie]

Evolution's the key.

[Jennifer]

We needed to evolve it. Okay, ready?

[Angie]

Get a warm up. That was pretty good.

[Jennifer]

It was really good. First time, I think. Jenny, what about 867530?

[Angie]

9867.

[Jennifer]

That's such a good song, wasn't it?

[Angie]

These people, half these people have never even heard of that.

[Jennifer]

I honestly believe that we don't deserve dogs. But I have these two dogs that I consider to be my biological children. I love them so much and I would do anything on the planet for them. And that's why I'm so happy to announce that today's episode is sponsored by ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Program.

[Angie]

The best thing about this program is that you don't have to compromise on your dog or cat's vet bills because.

[Jennifer]

You have help at aspca, they allow you to customize your plan, helping ensure that your pet's plan is as unique as they are. Because vet bills can really add up, especially when you're leased expecting it. It's simple. You use their app to submit a claim and you'll receive reimbursement for eligible vet bills directly into your bank account. To Explore coverage, visit aspcapetinsurance.com had it that's aspcapetinsurance.Com had it again that's ASPCA pet insurance.com had it this is a paid advertisement. Insurance is underwritten by either Independence American Insurance Company or United States Fire Insurance Company and produced by PTZ Insurance Agency Ltd. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance. So p she know what I've been doing when I go home for lunch to change clothes to play tennis?

[Angie]

What?

[Jennifer]

I get my Lumi all over body deodorant. I put it on my feet, on my little piggies and on my hands feet hands fresh as a daisy. Rip city on the tennis court. It is a game changer.

[Angie]

I'm not as ambitious that you with the tennis, but that 72 hour body deodorant has saved me because I don't have to worry about stinking if I forget to put on deodorant. And I love the wipes because I can do all the cracks under the boobs. It's the best to feel confident after a workout.

[Jennifer]

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[Angie]

I feel so much better about myself when I look good on the outside.

[Jennifer]

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[Angie]

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[Jennifer]

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[Angie]

All right, bye.

[Jennifer]

You know, so the micro penis parade that happens at the White House. Now we know Trump has a mushroom, right? And Elon Musk has an acorn. And this makes perfect sense.

[Angie]

I hate to toot my own horn. You have, but I have been screaming this from the rooftop. This is little dick energy, top to bottom. I knew it. I fucking knew it. I love that so much. I heard he did the ivf, but. So he was trying to make it bigger with the penile implants.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. I don't think somebody would put an implant to make it smaller.

[Angie]

Well, I know. I just didn't know, like, if something. I don't know what I thought, but.

[Jennifer]

I think, I think that allegedly, if he. Allegedly, if he had this botched penile implant surgery and it was botched, and then he starts doing all this in vitro and then so there's an insecurity there that he can't get a girl pregnant the normal way. And then he gets. He's a billionaire because he gets all of these subsidies and he can't earn his money the normal way. And then he has to buy President Trump because he couldn't get elected his own way the normal way. So we basically in this country have a South African born man. And I don't give a shit where somebody's born. But MAGA does, right?

[Angie]

They do.

[Jennifer]

So if you're maga, you have a South African born man who does gender affirming care with his hair implants, because that's gender affirming care. And he has all these baby mamas, all these IVF babies, which according to the MAGA Christians, they don't think IVF should be legal. It should be missionary sex only with probably some creepy panties on or something. And you have this guy who is just completely insecure from top to bottom in the most Freudian style way, acting out in a public manner with people's lives for sport. Because he's so broken on the inside.

[Angie]

Yeah. And nothing will ever fix him.

[Jennifer]

Nothing.

[Angie]

The two most broken people that will never be fixed ever, all the adulation, all the money in the world, nothing is going to fix them. I Mean they. Between the two of them, I can't figure out who thinks they're a bigger victim. These two think they are victims. It's unreal. I would die if I was running around with you. And you let me always talk about how everybody hates me. Da, da, da, da. And you never said. Have you ever thought the common denominator in your problems was you? Have you ever thought maybe you had something to do with that? This has gone on their entire lives because they have money.

[Jennifer]

It's so crazy what people get away with now. And you cannot forget the color of their skin and their gender.

[Angie]

That's right.

[Jennifer]

Right.

[Angie]

That's right.

[Jennifer]

White men, really, it's. It's crazy because not all white men. There's a lot of white male listeners of all generations of Gen Z millennials, boomers and Gen Xers that listen to us, and you guys fight the good fight, and we're not talking about you. But there's this new breed of men from the older sect that were radicalized by Fox News and then the younger ones radicalized from like, the balls, barstool, sports and right wing manosphere. And all of this stuff and the insecurity in it and the need to constantly be told that you're okay and you're so good at something is so exhausting. And I guess they all hang out with each other and they're always on these titty baby websites listening to titty baby podcasts where it's wah, wah, wah all the time. And I guess that's what makes them feel normal. Because if I was around, we've had friends. You and I have had friends that play victim all the time. And eventually I can't be around it anymore. I cannot listen to somebody's grievances day in and day out. And then it forms to a year. And you think, why haven't you done anything to change this?

[Angie]

This might have happened to you, but it's. You are responsible for how you respond to it. And these men sit there and cry like, everybody doesn't like me. The judiciary is against me. You know, the list goes on and on. There's hoaxes and all this stuff. And I just think, does nobody listening think? You are a billionaire. You have everything you want. You have more power than you could ever imagine. Why are you crying around on Fox News all the time? Don't they get sick of that?

[Jennifer]

I would think. I mean, whenever I hear Elon Musk talk and he's complaining about all of the wrongs that have happened to him or Trump Talking about all the wrongs that happened to him, I immediately think in my head, what a pussy.

[Angie]

Yes.

[Jennifer]

God, this guy's a titty baby. Just sitting here bitching and moaning.

[Angie]

Poor me.

[Jennifer]

I'm just like, what? It's such a turn off. And I think, well, doesn't everybody else see that? And I guess that all of the MAGA men are equal titty babies, right? And probably have the same type of penile problems. And so this is just a grievance parade that they can all engage in together. It's the only thing that makes sense to me because. Because every time I hear these MAGA men talk, from Jesse Waters to Gutfield to Trump, Don Jr. All of them, I think these guys are the biggest fucking pussies. They are not tough guys at all. All they do is, this person did this, this person did that. There's no strength in a whiner. Nobody likes a fucking whiner, I guess, except for maga. And it is the party of whiners.

[Angie]

Absolutely. The party of grievances. And poor me, I just drives me bananas.

[Jennifer]

Okay, okay, up next, we've got Kaylee. Okay, I don't know if this is.

[Angie]

The right way to submit anything, but.

[Jennifer]

Can I just say I've absolutely had it with how America treats their politicians. Like, if we look at maga, right, you have all these people buying merch.

[Angie]

Buying hats, flags, T shirts or whatever. And I'm just there going, you're doing.

[Jennifer]

All of this for an elected public servant because that's what Trump is. And I just have to say, like, you wouldn't find the same behavior in Ireland. Like, our prime minister, Taoiseach, is Michal Martin. If I had cut out some Michal Martin in my house and the flags up around the place, my roommates would be calling 911 and put me in for a psychiatric evaluation for one second. Me is just like, we don't celebrity them.

[Angie]

Like, a lot of us would have.

[Jennifer]

Met our local politicians. We've met them in person. They're just normal people who are elected to do the job, as most of your Congress or whatever is as well. It's just so weird to me. Yeah, I've had it. She's 100, right? It's so weird. The MAGA is so weird to me how they like that he wears all this makeup and then they make these homoerotic photoshopped things of him and then he sells all these riff wraps. And I was thinking about you remember that game show let's Make a Deal?

[Angie]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

It's Like Trump is the host of let's Make a Deal. He had the car commercial and the White House lawn and then he has the coins and the Christmas ornaments and you know, the Trump trout and all this riff raff knickknack that nobody would want to buy for some 78 year old fat ass, orange faced piece of shit. And the worship of him. The only thing that makes sense is cult indoctrination. And I think that will be the autopsy on this. All of these people that think they're so tough and such independent thinkers are actually in a cult.

[Angie]

Agree. I was thinking when she was talking, because it's a great point. I don't remember people running around in George Bush and Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton.

[Jennifer]

Oh, they fucking loved Reagan.

[Angie]

No, but I mean, did they wear T shirts and stuff? I know he didn't sell grift, but I just don't. That came in with Trump and I, I wonder if it's because he was on tv.

[Jennifer]

Well, there's, there's actually, you can study this in political science. And it started when things were televised in the Nixon Kennedy debate. Like that was the first time people saw their politicians. And then it, politicians became made for tv. And if you think about America being the center of the entertainment, you know, industry, we have all these television shows, movies, etc. Well then Bill Clinton up the ante when he played the saxophone on Arsenio Hall.

[Angie]

I remember that.

[Jennifer]

And then you have Obama, who is just megawatt, you know, mega crowds, easy on the eyeballs, great orator. And I just, I just think now in order to be president of the United States, you have to have a whole it factor. And the only thing I can see that Trump has is charisma for dumb people. And I do think he has that. He, you know, he's, oh, you know, Hannibal Lecter, you know, and he talks like a drunk person at the bar. And if you're all kind of high on Trump, you know, you can kind of see that, okay, these, it's, it's, he's, he's like a cult leader for dumb people. I mean, that's what he is. And so he has charism. I, it's not my personal, I don't like that style of charisma. Grievances or braggadocious. Both of those things are very off putting to me. But I think probably for his white base, evangelical base, he's just like an evangelical preacher, a game show host.

[Angie]

Yeah, that's. And you, when the first time you said that, it took me A minute. But I was like, that's so true. Because we're grifting, we're megawatt personality, telling people other people are bad.

[Jennifer]

He's a great bullshit artist.

[Angie]

He really. He is a great bullshit artist.

[Jennifer]

He I a liar. He can go and go and go and it makes no sense what he's saying, but he is a artist con man. And the reason that he's continued to ascend is because he's successful at one thing and one thing only, and that's being a con man. And he is very, very adept at that. He has succeeded in that twice. I mean, he should be in jail right now. I mean, he should totally be in jail. If he were black or a woman, there's no question he would be in jail. But the people that, like, worship him and they think they're so independent and they think, oh, you have Trump derangement syndrome. You like people get in our comment section. You ladies have tds. Shut the up, badass Trapper up. I've had it. Okay, okay. Up next, we've got Kimberly. Good morning, ladies. I just want to say thank you for helping me get through Trump's America. We are nowhere close to it being over, but as a black lesbian in Utah, I truly appreciate listening to you guys and laughing. One thing I've had it with is I'm driving my toddler to school today, listening to toddler music. So hoping this drive goes as fast as humanly possible. And we're stuck in traffic because everyone's rubber necking trying to look at this accident that has happened. I'm sorry. If there are 15 cop cars, three ambulances in a fire truck, it's probably something you don't want to see. None of your medical professionals. We live in Utah. All of you got your medical degree from fucking Facebook. So keep driving, look forward and push on the gas pedal. We have places to go. Unlike most of you, I'm not a stay at home mom and I need to get to work, so I don't need to just lollygag. I'm not on my way to fucking swig. Let's go. Put your foot on the gas pedal. Let's drive. Okay. I love her. What about being a black lesbian in Utah?

[Angie]

That's tough. Slutty.

[Jennifer]

Go, girl. I mean, that's. I mean, Utah, Oklahoma's pretty white. Utah is white and religious.

[Angie]

Everybody's Mormon, but the ex Mormons are cool.

[Jennifer]

Oh, I talked about this on Patreon. Before we address her comment. I talked about this on Patreon. But we haven't talked about it with our main audience. And so listener, some of you commented when Pumps and I were talking about Mormons sending out the 18 year olds and how stupid that was. Some people that are former Mormons messaged me and told me that the reason they send them out at 18 and 19 is so that they get rejected by the world and they see how terrible the world is. So that when they come back home from, you know, schlepping all the snake oil, then it's like, see, we told you this is the best place. See how mean everybody else is. And that's fucking diabolical.

[Angie]

Right? But that fits perfectly with religious culture, adults. Yeah, because this 18 year old, it doesn't make sense. But that makes a ton of sense. That tracks.

[Jennifer]

Okay, now on to the rubber necking. I have to say I do this, I'm sorry, I know it's wrong, I know I shouldn't do it, but I have to look.

[Angie]

I don't look. I'm scared I'll see something I don't want to see.

[Jennifer]

I, I look every single time I'm a part of the problem.

[Angie]

Have we told them on here how we chase the ambulance or the cop cars? The other day, remember we were sitting at lunch having grilled cheeses at the Shack?

[Jennifer]

Yeah. Oh yeah, we did.

[Angie]

And there were cop cars going by and we follow them.

[Jennifer]

We went and pursued. Why did we do that?

[Angie]

Because we're nuts.

[Jennifer]

Why? Nobody talked anybody off the.

[Angie]

No, we were both like I kind of want to follow that cop car.

[Jennifer]

We, yeah, we were eating grilled cheeses and then on this like busy street and all these cop cars start going by and it's like fast, fast and it's super dramatic. And I was like, should we follow? And puff is like 100% and so we just like race out to her car. And then we went in pursuit. We could never track them down. But we were, well we, we were gunning it, we were in hot pursuit.

[Angie]

Yeah, we were going through it like seven miles away from where we should have been.

[Jennifer]

Trying to find the crime scene right.

[Angie]

Now I want, but I can't look at the ambulance cuz I'm afraid I'll see something bad. But I do want to see if we're, you know, what's going on. I just don't want to see like the product of a dead body.

[Jennifer]

I know, I, I, I don't want to see it either, but I don't not want to see it. Does that make sense for us?

[Angie]

Because I'm the one that's so into all the gory stuff. And you're anti gory, anti hospital, anti.

[Jennifer]

I don't even watch hospital shows. Fictional hospital shows. But when I drive by an accident, I have to see it. I have. I have to look. I have to.

[Angie]

Oh, my gosh. Speaking of which, I forgot to toot my own horn. Kylie backed me up. So Seth has a splinter. I did surgery today, got the splinter out. I had to get it all pointing out. So I have to bring Kylie in for.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, didn't I get it out?

[Angie]

Just hold your horses. So I brought my tool kit. I get it all ready, but I can't keep it up out of the skin and pull it out. So I bring Kylie in, and as we all know, she's a big pussy. She comes in and I'm like, hey, I need you to take this out. And she's like. And I was like, like, enough. She got it right out the first try. And first of all, I just want to say, when Kylie had tried to clean her ears out, she was a big baby. Seth was not a baby. I went in, I got that splinter.

[Jennifer]

You cleaned out CES ears?

[Angie]

No, no, no. I got the splinter out of his finger.

[Jennifer]

Oh. Oh, okay.

[Angie]

Kylie was a big titty baby when I tried to clean her ears out.

[Jennifer]

Oh, I wonder if, you know, maybe you could clean Josh's.

[Angie]

I have my tools on me right now.

[Jennifer]

They're if he's not laid up on the sofa with earwax.

[Angie]

I mean, I've never laughed so hard in my life when I was like, is Josh sick?

[Jennifer]

Why is he at home? Earwax. And I say it just dry like that. Oh, he's got earwax.

[Angie]

Yeah. And I was just like, what?

[Jennifer]

Here's the thing. After the forced Asthma and then COPD diagnosis and we went to 10 different doctors and had all the exams, when he started in with the dementia, I just looked at him straight in the face and I said, I'm not doing this with you again. Like, it's. He gets it. I think it's probably, like, the recovering addict in him. If he thinks there's something wrong, he'll myopically focus on it, and he can't. He can't let it go. It's like something genetically in him, and I just refuse to feed it like I am. I will not be codependent. Good for you. I will. I will not have any part of this fucking charade of getting fake take diagnoses. I will. I will have no part of it. Our medical care system is up enough. And in Trump's America, I will, I will go move heaven and earth not to be a part of the problem, but to be a part of the solution. That includes not supporting my husband in his hypochondria. Okay, I think that, I think that does it. I want to remind everybody of several things. Number one, we have merch and we have these great, like trucker hats that are camouflaged that say gay tree it. We have gay tree shirts. We have a book coming out and you can pre order. It actually comes out in like what, six weeks?

[Angie]

Yeah, yeah, it's coming out.

[Jennifer]

It's coming out the end of May. And so you guys need to pre order that book. You need to subscribe to our YouTube channel. You need to subscribe to both of our audio channels, which is I've had it. And also I hip news. And you need to be the best American you can be in Trump's America. Do not bend for fascists.

[Angie]

Do not break. Do not give up.

[Jennifer]

Do not target this thing. Don't be like Target.

[Angie]

Don't be like Target.

[Jennifer]

Be like Ben and Jerry's. Be Ben and Jerry's.

[Angie]

Absolutely. Ben and Jerry, great example.

[Jennifer]

Ben and Jerry's from day one has always stood for social justice. One of my favorite follows on Instagram is Ben and Jerry's ice cream.

[Angie]

Yeah. Good for them.

[Jennifer]

Those guys are. Those guys are goals. They are. They've never, ever, ever been. And guess where they're from. From Vermont. Guess who else is from Vermont?

[Angie]

Bernie.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, Bernie Sanders.

[Angie]

Vermont's cool people.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, Vermont's cool. Except for the people in Vermont that voted for Trump. Fuck you.

[Angie]

Right?

[Jennifer]

All right, Pumps. Tell em.

[Angie]

We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday.

[Jennifer]

Fa.

[Angie]

Fa. Wait up.

[Jennifer]

There you go. I'll tell you what I've had it with.

[Angie]

Let's hear it.

[Jennifer]

I've had it with that. Listen up patriots, gaytriots and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday. Every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America. Always served with a side of petty grievances.

[Angie]

We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcast and YouTube.

[Jennifer]

Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with Amazon, America's greatest legal mind. Pumps. Pumps. What does an eagle say?

[Angie]

Caca.

[Jennifer]

A little bit more enthusiasm.

[Angie]

Caca.

[Jennifer]

That's it. That's. That's caca. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.

[Angie]

Spring's here.

[Jennifer]

Flowers are blooming, birds are singing. And allergies. Yeah, they're back, too.

[Angie]

Sneezing, watery eyes. When they hit, you need a tissue fast. That's where Kleenex Ultra Soft Tissues comes.

[Jennifer]

In, whether you're at home or on the go.

[Angie]

Kleenex Ultra Soft Tissues.

[Jennifer]

Have you covered?

[Angie]

Allergist approved.

[Jennifer]

Kleenex Ultra Soft Tissues are gentle on.

[Angie]

Your eyes and nose, so you can power through allergy season without missing a beat. Because while allergies are unpredictable, staying prepared is easy. For whatever happens next, grab Kleenex.