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- [00:03]
Jennifer
So are we supposed to start the podcast?
- [00:07]
Angie
Ready, one, two, three.
- [00:10]
Jennifer
Patriots. Gay trots. They trots. Black trees, Brown trio. All of MAGA can do what? Pumps.
- [00:17]
Angie
I love that. Adding that in all of maggot.
- [00:21]
Jennifer
Welcome to America's top DEI podcast. Pumps. What have you had it with?
- [00:26]
Angie
Okay, what I've had it with are returns. I hate having to return a product. I hate it because I feel like they try to make it harder than it has to be. You have to go to your email, you have to print something, then you have to take it, then you have to go get all that done. Even if you don't have to pay for it. It's just the time that it takes.
- [00:49]
Jennifer
I ended up.
- [00:50]
Angie
I end up just keeping shit a lot of times because it. The hassle. But I have a few things that. I know this is going to shock all of our listeners, but I would buy two of the exact same things. I did that three times for my daughter because she sent a list and I bought it three times. Like, not on purpose, obviously. So I have to go. Every time I get it, I'm like, why did I do that? So I just hate returns generally. And I also hate when something looks so good and you buy it and then you come home and it fucking sucks when you actually get it and there you are. You're having to slop up there and do another. Another return. So that's my thing. I've had it with returns.
- [01:34]
Jennifer
I completely agree. Returns are a nightmare post Christmas returns. It's just. It's like the stores are even busier the week.
- [01:42]
Angie
Yeah.
- [01:43]
Jennifer
Following Christmas. Christmas, because there's sales and for a lot of people, like, maybe you couldn't afford to get the thing that you wanted for your child or for yourself before Christmas. You're going to get it after Christmas to get all the sales and the return aspect of. I feel like either if you're mailing it in, they make it difficult. And if you go to the store to return, the line is like, yes, a mile long and completely relatable. Okay, I'm going to tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with Tess. Like flu test or COVID test up the nose. I don't want something stuck up my nose. Like, can we do the throat? Can we do a cheek? I have a cell phone that can talk to me. I have. Like, the technology is so advanced, we're cramming up the nose. And so here's what happened, listener. Everybody knows my husband's a hypochondriac.
- [02:34]
Angie
Right.
- [02:35]
Jennifer
And so last week I didn't feel well. And when I very first got Covid, the very first time prior to the vaccine coming out, October of 2020, it was. I had this really weird rash on my torso. And I was like, this is weird. What is this rash? And I thought, well, so I googled, like, Covid and rash. And I was like, yeah, it actually is a thing. So I went cram up the nose. I had covet. And like, the biggest symptom that I had was a rash on my torso combined with feeling very lethargic. So I've had Covid one time since that first time, same thing, rash, lethargic. So Josh had been up to New York with me and we'd worked out, you know, done fun stuff together, etc. And then he leaves and I'm like, I don't feel well. I have that weird rash on my torso and I'm so tired. I think I have Covid. And we're on FaceTime, you guys. He goes, what if you have Covid? Then maybe I have Covid. Maybe that'll explain what's been going on with me. But you need to find out. You need to go take the test right now. He's excited. He was excited at the potential. At the potential. Skipped right over. Oh, I'm sorry you feel bad, but oh, my God, if you have this gift of COVID maybe I can have the same gift of COVID because he's a hypochondriac. Pups. He was elated. He's like, you know, he's just. We're FaceTiming each other, he's back in OKC, I'm in New York, and he's, you know, we're just kind of like. And when I told him it was just a complete excitement.
- [04:19]
Angie
There was no, how are you feeling?
- [04:22]
Jennifer
No, I mean, he swore. Sweet. After that, like, you know, don't work out today. Take the time off because I go, go without. I'm a workaholic. I work out all the time. But no, it's an immediate. Oh, my God, if she has Covid, then maybe I can be sick too. It was an excitement. Yeah.
- [04:40]
Angie
I'm sure I don't know this, but I'm guessing even though he didn't feel bad, he probably gave himself an at home Covid.
- [04:47]
Jennifer
Would you.
- [04:47]
Angie
Would you bet against it?
- [04:48]
Jennifer
For sure. Oh, my God. We need to ask him. But a hundred percent, like, he loves. He loves medical tests, diagnoses, things to discuss with Chat, GPT. He. He lives for this. I mean he lives, he lives for this. It's just, it's crazy. I wonder if have you heard of any other people that get the rash as their symptom?
- [05:17]
Angie
You are the only person that I have ever heard of getting the rash and you were the first person like during COVID that had the rash.
- [05:26]
Jennifer
And I always, my main symptom did.
- [05:29]
Angie
A rat like rash and Covid. I would have never made the connection. I would have thought, oh, I have eczema, I have dry skin. So I mean, that's good on you.
- [05:36]
Jennifer
I knew it was something weird the first time because I there's, I felt a little off, but it was just like this rash was everywhere. If you think about it like viruses typically. There's some chickenpox, measles, which by the way, have you seen this whole thing about like the measles?
- [05:53]
Angie
It's unbelievable. It's, it's totally believable. But it's like here is RFK Jr who is the biggest of all the nuts on the planet. He stands out as a bigger one. Plus his voice. He is an attorney, he is not a doctor. He, he is now saying, oh well, we don't need the vaccine, blah, blah, blah. Measles cases are up 14,000%. That is so unnecessary. So unnecessary.
- [06:25]
Jennifer
Yeah. You know, I think that the biggest call out that we need to keep calling out is the pro lifers that are actually pro death, pro disease, pro little kids getting shot up in school. I mean it's just the biggest parade of hypocrisy on the planet. These pro life champions, they're such, they're so full of shit. And the damage, this anti scientific damage that the right wing has done, you know, it kills people. A lot of people died of COVID because Fox News and others propagandized that getting the vaccine was like, you know, some horrible thing. Do you remember that time that Kylie signed you up for that right wing dating site and like a lot of the things were like woman I'm looking for and it was like not vaxxed. Like that was like their number one thing, like you couldn't be vaccinated.
- [07:21]
Angie
Yeah. On top of wanting me to cook and clean and raise their kids other than that.
- [07:26]
Kylie
Yeah.
- [07:26]
Angie
But the anti vaxx stuff, I just simply, I do not understand it at all. All like it seems to all the, to be the dumbest to all of.
- [07:37]
Jennifer
The triple trumping doctors that triple trumped that have all of these nut anti vaxxers in their waiting rooms or people that think they're Smarter than the doctor. They deserve every long day that they get. They deserve every chat GPT conversation that their patient has had and that was cramming up their throat. If you are a triple trumping doctor and you make money and your livelihood is based on science and then you voted for an anti science administration because you wanted a little bit of a tax break and you continue, you triple down on it. Every insufferable MAGA patient that you have, you deserve. And I think you should exclusively only have anti vax MAGA patients. I think that's what they deserve. It's only the anti vax MAGA patients.
- [08:31]
Angie
And I think RFK should be their doctor. So if they have any kind of health problem, they go to him and let him fix them. This is an interesting. You brought this up and I've been meaning to mention it to you. So I was reviewing the Supreme Court's session where the Trump administration wants to be able to fire independent federal agencies and Justice Katanjay Brown Jackson made an extremely apt remark when she said if you take away expertise from these fields and put in partisan hacks, people will suffer. Well, because she is female and because she is black, the Magaverse went crazy talking about a DEI judge and da da da da. And I thought are these people so stupid they don't realize Trump is already doing this. Look at the secretary of Health and Human Services a complete that is saying every conspiracy about vaccine is true. Measles is up, Science, research and all that is down. Like that's exactly what he's doing. He does not value expertise and it is on perfect display in this administration. It's repulsive.
- [09:43]
Jennifer
I get on, it's on purpose because facts have a liberal bias. And you know also I think there's this, there's that component. So you have all of these like Prageru Heritage foundation that wants a dumbed down electorate so they can have a decades long majority reign. But at the same time you also have the right wing MAGA Christians that have colluded with the oligarchs. And the oligarchs know that the easiest, most malleable, manipulatable form of the public same thing Putin knew were the gun religious nuts. And so the oligarchs, interestingly they're anti expertise because they think they're better experts.
- [10:29]
Angie
Because at everything.
- [10:31]
Kylie
Yeah.
- [10:31]
Jennifer
And so it's like, you know, like Peter Till is also an expert in the Antichrist and you know that Alex Karp, you know, like here's another thing about these guys. So you have the administration that has gone, like, hard in the paint, like, we have to prevent autism. They've demonized people with autism by making it seem like it is this curse. And if you take Tylenol, your baby's going to have, you know, neurodivergent issues, et cetera. I mean, what they've done, the damage they've done regarding autism and people living with autism and the way they have categorized it on television as this, like, horrible curse. And this has all come from MAGA at the same time. You have these oligarchs that appear high on tv. Elon Musk and Alex Carp. But they roll out when everybody's like, oh, my God, these people are coked up. Then they go, oh, he's actually just neurodivergent. And I'm like, y' all are the people that are acting like autism is this horrible thing and it's a curse. And then when you're too high and too big of a crackhead on national television, global television, then you have your PR team trot out that you're neurodivergent. And so just the hypocrisy and the double speaking and the dehumanization of this combination of cultists, like religious psychosis cultists, with these people, these billionaires that also experience this type of we're the experts of everything psychosis, and these are the people that are in charge. It's just so depressing. Welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer.
- [12:17]
Angie
I'm Angie.
- [12:19]
Jennifer
We have Kylie here. She's a lesbian producer. Cute as a button.
- [12:24]
Kylie
She is a lesbian.
- [12:26]
Jennifer
I just think I want to always pointed out because there's such an effort for people to diminish, LGBTQ + people. And I just want everybody to know Kylie was hired on merit.
- [12:43]
Angie
That's right, Seth. Obviously being a white male straight, he's our DEI hire.
- [12:48]
Kylie
Okay, I've got some reviews to show you guys. So this one is 5 stars titled Hit it. And little one writes, this podcast is exactly what Democrats need. Enough with the pick me politicians. And these one star reviews by the sheep are quite hilarious. Did you. Do you red hats have any thoughts of your own? Or do you just keep doing and thinking what daddy Fox News and kinks tell you to?
- [13:15]
Angie
It's nice to think that we're what anybody needs, isn't it?
- [13:20]
Jennifer
Yeah. So I. I love these. When we get good reviews, are we still getting a bunch of. Are we still getting doxed in the reviews?
- [13:26]
Maddie
We are.
- [13:27]
Kylie
I've got a one star right here for You.
- [13:29]
Jennifer
Oh, good.
- [13:31]
Kylie
Women like this make us look. Dot, dot, dots, one star, and they write. Both of these women think like children, not like adult women. Their behavior on the show is ugly and nasty. Imagine two drunk people who aren't entertaining. That is this show.
- [13:54]
Angie
Okay, that's pretty funny. Not true, obviously, but it's kind of funny. Like, that's immediately where they have to go. They've got to be. You know what I mean?
- [14:03]
Kylie
It's just the drinking thing is really funny to me because it's both sides. They say it as this compliment, as liberal wine moms, and then the right will use it. You know, they're just drunk, they're on drugs. I think that's so interesting.
- [14:16]
Jennifer
I just think that this is always applied to women. Like, whether it's the left applying it to women or the right applying it to women, you don't see the same adjectives applied to men. I mean, there was that one, remember that blogger, like Scary Mommy that would always post about us all the time, and it would be like, mom podcasters say this or mom podcasters say that. And it was just like, we. We this the entire episode. We never spoke about our children, not one time. Yet you're attributing our podcast to us being mothers instead of being individuals. And you never. Here's the thing. I'm not. I love being a mother. But you don't apply that to when Obama was president. We don't say dad president when we talk about Joe Rogan. We don't say dad podcaster. And the same thing. We don't, you know, talk about whether or not men, podcasters, or people in media are drinking and or not drinking. It's just a lot of this is inherent sexism on both sides. Now, listen, at the same time, I'm not offended by this, right? I'm just pointing it out. It's not something where I'm like, oh, my God. Funny thing is, Pumps is sober. You know, she's been sober for two years, doesn't drink or use drugs, and I haven't drank in, I don't know, 12, 13 years. And so it's funny. But, I mean, I can see that sometimes we might seem like we're punch drunk because we get to giggling so much, but I just do think there's just a lot of inherent sexism in the descriptions. But at the same time, I'm not offended by it. Nobody needs to go back and correct it. I do think for the Scary Mommy blogger people, I do think that they kept, like, targeting that and I did. I couldn't understand, like, why do they keep calling us mom podcasters when our show is not about motherhood? Right. We would talk about performative motherhood and us having it with performative motherhood, but I thought that was really weird.
- [16:20]
Angie
So much sexism I just don't even recognize as sexism. It's so indoctrinated in, you know, it's so dyed in the wool. So I. It's a great point.
- [16:29]
Kylie
Okay, I've got one last one. This one is five stars titled Pursuing Legal Action. And Jenny writes, listened to an episode last week that made me laugh so hard I nearly fell off of the treadmill. Super embarrassing. Everyone watched me stumble, grab the rails, and eventually find my footing while cry, laughing. Last month while on the Hill, I nearly said Moses Mike instead of Speaker Mike Johnson. I'm a lobbyist and this would have been very bad. So since this is Trump's America and we no longer have to be responsible for our own actions, it's all your fault and I'm loitering up. It has nothing to do with my own clumsiness or borderline obsession with both podcasts. Just kidding. I love you three. Yes. I'm including Kylie. Thank you for providing the vocabulary. We all need to fight another day.
- [17:18]
Angie
Oh, my gosh. I've been that person that's fallen on a treadmill and, like, been catching myself, so I get that. Wouldn't that be so great if somebody called him Moses Mike to his face?
- [17:28]
Jennifer
Oh, my God. Yeah, I do. I think it'd be an act of patriotism.
- [17:32]
Kylie
Yeah.
- [17:33]
Angie
He's so dumb. He probably would be like, I am Moses. He'd probably take it as a compliment.
- [17:38]
Jennifer
Yeah, God, totally.
- [17:39]
Angie
So you. You can call me Moses.
- [17:42]
Jennifer
Yeah, he totally would. A Christmas miracle has taken place. So we decided to go do a live show in Atlanta on January 31st. And we were for sure, like, the ticket sales are going to be lackluster. Nobody's going to become. I'll be damned if it didn't sell out in, like, a couple of days. So the organizer was like, you should do another day. And I'm like, that's a pretty big. Pretty big ass. Pretty big ass for two old broads like us. Right? So we added an additional day. Ticket sales were getting about close to halfway. February 1st, center stage in Atlanta. And it is also a matinee because we are going to normalize matinees. We are going to normalize a reasonable start time. We're not going to start a show at 8 or 9pm you're going to past bedtime, wake up the next day feeling hungover, strung out. Why did I hang out with all of these radical leftist anti fascists? We're not going to do that because we're pro matinee, we're pro democracy, we're anti maga, and we're anti fascists. Come see us.
- [18:46]
Angie
It's going to be so fun. I love getting together at a live show with all of of the people. It's such a community.
- [18:53]
Jennifer
This show is sponsored by Better Help. All right, listener. A new year and you always hear the new you. Why do you have to be a new you? You could actually be a less burdened you and therapy can help you with that. That's why I absolutely twice a month meet with my therapist online from Better Help. They have a therapist match commitment, Better Help. Does the initial matching work for you? So focus on your therapy goals. They typically get it right the first time. However, if you're not happy with your match, you can switch therapists at any time for no additional cost. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is one of the world's largest online therapy platforms, having served over 5 million people globally. And it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. Listener Better Help makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist. Sign up and get 10% off@betterhelp.com had it. That's better help. H lp.com had it. What's next, Kylie?
- [20:04]
Kylie
I've got a couple news stories for you. Okay, so this one says an American mother claims her baby is dark skinned because of her ancestors. And if you're listening to, it's a photo of a what appears to me to be a very white couple. And they just had a baby who is black. And the caption says an American couple went viral after the newborn appeared significantly darker skinned than both parents. The mother publicly claimed the baby's skin tone was the result of distant ancestry, saying dormant genetic traits can reappear generations later. While genetics can produce unexpected physical traits, experts note that extreme difference in skin tone are statistically rare and usually involve more genetic factors.
- [20:57]
Jennifer
Okay, here's the deal. I've seen this and here's what happened. She did a little chocolate slap and tickle. Yep, that's just all there is to it. And she has a black baby. She's white. The alleged baby daddy in that photo is white. And now she's trying to go back and unfuck black Guy who was the dad of this baby and pitch to us some sort of genetic lineage that we all know is bs. And I don't like these shows, like Mari or, you know, but in this instance, she needs to be on one of those shows. We need to do a cheek swab, end it. But instead, to spend that amount of time trying to unscrew somebody is just wild to me.
- [21:49]
Angie
Well, what's so funny is when you said, she wants to unfuck, and I'm like, girl, I've been there. There's a lot of people on the list that I want to unfuck. Unfortunately, there's evidence for her, and I think she's trying to prove it to her husband. I would suspect he's not buying it. Well, I mean, five years from now, we'll probably all know, but. Yeah, I'm not a Mori fan, but this. To have to listen to this. We need a DNA test.
- [22:14]
Jennifer
Yeah, I. I agree. I want to do. I want to do it ourselves. And. And just for fun. I'm so tired of covering all the Trump stuff. I'd love to have them on and, like, do the test, and then we can announce Mr. White, dude, you are not the father. Yeah, we can have our dogs, you know, involved in it. You know, just. Just kind of have a crazy show. Like, why does everybody else get to have all this crazy. I want to do, you know, like, I want to just listen to opera blaring it loud and, you know, like Trump does. I mean, it's just all. Everybody's just so unhinged all the time. A lot of listeners would be like, y' all are unhinged.
- [22:53]
Angie
You're leading the charge, girls.
- [22:56]
Kylie
Okay, we've got another one. This one. The headline is, calling someone bald is now considered sexual harassment according to. To judges. And it goes on to say a recent ruling determined that calling someone bald can legally qualify as sexual harassment in certain workplace contexts. Judges argue that the term is often used to target men in a derogatory manner tied to gender. The decision expands how harassment protections can be interpreted under employment laws.
- [23:30]
Angie
I'm kind of conflicted about this one, because I do think we have to protect harassment in the workplace. Do I think this is ridiculous and stupid? Yes. Do I think that it's demeaning to call someone bald if that's just a fact? Like, I'm a blonde. You're a blonde. You know what I mean? So I'm torn. I'm torn.
- [23:53]
Jennifer
I mean, I just. I just. I. I don't. I don't Really? I mean, I just think that if somebody's bald, they're bald. I don't really see it as derogatory.
- [24:03]
Angie
Yeah, I don't either.
- [24:04]
Jennifer
Some people look really fabulous bald. Some people really like work it. And you're like, okay, yeah. And then a lot of people go to great links like the President to cover up his bald head. And so, I mean, I don't know, I just, I mean just some people are bald. That's just all there is to it. And that's just it. What are we supposed to call them? Hairless.
- [24:25]
Angie
And then I'd rather be bald and hairless. That's what I. Hairless man.
- [24:31]
Jennifer
Yeah. You know, like I, I just, it's like if you're describing somebody like, oh, will you go grab that lady over there, the one standing next to the bald man?
- [24:41]
Angie
Right.
- [24:41]
Jennifer
Or would you go subscribe? Yeah, yeah. I don't know. Kylie, what do you think?
- [24:48]
Kylie
I think it's stupid, to be honest. I don't know what else you're supposed to do. It's not offensive unless they have a chip on their shoulder. It's not a slur. You are bald.
- [24:59]
Jennifer
Right?
- [25:00]
Angie
I mean, I guess in the workplace if you're like, hey, you ugly ass bald headed.
- [25:05]
Jennifer
Right?
- [25:05]
Angie
That's harassment. But I don't know that that really falls on bald.
- [25:11]
Jennifer
Yeah, yeah, I would agree.
- [25:13]
Kylie
Okay. Last News story says 65 of dating app users are married or in a relationship, according to a recent report. Researchers say the rise of partnered individuals on dating apps is driven by curiosity, validation, seeking, and in some cases, secretive behavior within relationships. Many users admitted to using the apps to gauge attractiveness, boost self esteem or explore options without necessarily planning to meet anyone in person. This trend raises concerns about transparency and trust in modern dating culture.
- [25:51]
Angie
That's people sack people, just sack. If you're married, you shouldn't be on a dating app. It's just that simple. I mean, I, I just think there's.
- [26:01]
Jennifer
So many people that want their cake and want to eat it too. It's just like I was shocked when I became an adult at the amount of that goes on with adults and married adults in particular. Because you have this idea when you're younger, when I'm big, I'll get to do this and when I'm big, it'll solve my problems. And then you have this illusion that older people means less problems when actually it's to the contrary. And then you find out like, you know, I was so surprised that like all these women, you know, they're popping zannies And I was surprised, too, not only at the men that screwed around on their wives, because you expect that a little bit more on a man. And I don't mean to be sexist.
- [26:49]
Kylie
I just.
- [26:50]
Jennifer
I. I kind of do. But it's the women. I mean, like, pumps. And I know these women that, like. Remember that girl that was telling us about all those housewives that were going to get happy ending massages? The female version?
- [27:03]
Angie
Yes. That was told to me by one of the people that did it.
- [27:07]
Jennifer
Yeah.
- [27:08]
Maddie
Yes.
- [27:08]
Jennifer
Yeah. They're like, they're getting going to get a massage ending with finger bang. You know, I mean, like, these are like, churchgoer good. Do you know I'm going to yoga.
- [27:20]
Angie
And I'm happily married like you.
- [27:22]
Jennifer
Yeah.
- [27:22]
Angie
From the outset, you say happily married after carpool.
- [27:26]
Jennifer
It's a massage. Finger bang. It's just like what I mean. And here's the thing. Like, I'm not. I mean, whatever. The ones that drive me the craziest about all of this are the ones that I know were, like, with the cross. And then you find. And they're always the most screwed up ones.
- [27:45]
Angie
The worst offenders always tend to be the ones standing on the, you know, street saying, oh, my gosh, we're such good Christians. We have a godly family, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, I can't even imagine the sick and twisted that's going on if you're having to tell us how great it is. You know what I mean? It's just always that person.
- [28:03]
Jennifer
Yeah, I totally agree.
- [28:06]
Kylie
Okay, I've got listener voice memos today.
- [28:09]
Angie
Yay.
- [28:09]
Kylie
Right, we're gonna kick it off with Ian.
- [28:13]
Ian
Hey, ladies. I love your podcast. I adore you all and I just. Your podcast brings such levity to this crazy world we live. And it's truly like therapy for me. I can laugh and cry at the same time. Like, I can cry about all the things that are scary, and then I can sit there and just laugh at things that like taco tits kanks, lil Smokey Moses, Mike Grinder Johnson, kitten heels, and just laugh at these petty jabs at these stupid motherfuckers. Anyway, I have had it with the narrative that somehow left wing, progressive liberal men are weak and that the right wing men are the strong ones. All right, let's just take a step back for a minute and just physically look at the. Look at these people on the right. Who do you have, like, Nick Fuentes, who is a proud Nazi Virgin, who's like, five two, Ben Shapiro. And then what kitten heels. Ron DeSantis. Like, these are the strong men that you're talking about. Look at their fucking leader. He's like 300 pounds of mush and he's demented and old. Like, stop. No, Progressive men are the strong and hot ones. Like, look at Hasan piker. Like, enough said. Yeah, go into any gay bar, you're going to see a bunch of hot, strong, buff men who will kick your ass if you with them. And they are emotionally intelligent, they're smart, and they're physically strong. So, no, it's left wing men who are the strong, manly men, I guess. And so we need to push that narrative. Right wing men are little bitches and they're weak. Left wing men are big, strong. Anyway, happy holidays.
- [29:47]
Jennifer
And I mean, no notes. That's such a. That's so well said. And I think about this all the time. I think about these little twerps. Like, Stephen Miller is like 4 foot 10 Moses, Mike Grinder Johnson. I mean, 411 tops. And not. And no disrespect to any of these short men, because I know a lot of short men that are not, don't have Napoleon complex, that are, you know, 100% support feminism and support LGBTQ plus rights. But I just think when you have a man and his entire ethos is to affirm his masculinity, it requires him to beat down other people, then, you know, you're dealing with a. A varying degrees of issues pertaining to compensation.
- [30:36]
Angie
I completely agree. I. I'm with you. If, if you show me a man that is disrespectful or demeans other people, I immediately know it's low t, you know, little dick energy. Because for me, the most masculine someone can be is to lift other people up and stand for other people. But just picking on somebody to make yourself feel better, that to me is little dick energy of the highest.
- [31:01]
Jennifer
And think about this like their idealized form of masculinity is Donald Trump.
- [31:07]
Angie
He's so crazy to me.
- [31:08]
Jennifer
Wears a full face of makeup.
- [31:11]
Angie
He.
- [31:11]
Jennifer
I mean, petty party of one. Your table's now available. He is resentful.
- [31:18]
Angie
He.
- [31:18]
Jennifer
All of the stereotypes that get projected on women or projected on, quote, unquote, beta liberals. This man has every single one of them. And then they all are warriors for him in this regard to make sure he never gets his feelings hurt. But I mean, like, the fact that he's some idealized form of masculinity is just wild to me. It's crazy.
- [31:42]
Kylie
He.
- [31:42]
Jennifer
He loop de dos his hair dyes. It the makeup wipes, the. Just. Just listening to him in a conversation, how wildly insecure he is and how he has to talk about. I'm the best at this, I'm the best at that. He's just such a. A whiner. And he's such a. The main thing for me that I think is a constant is MAGA men, wine, wine complainers. And they're just always upset about something. They're like, such fun haters. Like, they're just like. Every time Stephen Miller's on Fox News, I think, God, he's hysterical. Hysterical. Somebody needs to check this man's blood pressure and his heart rate and get him a benzodiazepine asap, because he is on. Must be his time of month. Like, all of these men seem like they are in the throes of PMS at all times, completely hysterical. And then you see women, you know, progressive women in these positions that are strong and not whining, not complaining, planning make perfect sense. So it's just utterly wild to me that's like, that people like this form of faux masculinity.
- [33:01]
Angie
I completely agree. And I'll tell you what else. I'm so tired of the victimhood. Donald Trump's a victim. He's still talking about losing the 2020 election. Like the President of the United States, he's a victim all the time. And I was married to somebody that can make himself a victim of every story. So maybe I'm just more in tune to it. It trigger. If you're such a huge alpha male, why are you constantly saying, everybody's being mean to me. Seth Meyers is mean to me. Jimmy Kimmel's great. It's just like, grow the up.
- [33:33]
Jennifer
Because he's a.
- [33:34]
Angie
He's a.
- [33:35]
Jennifer
You know, all of these men are all. Every single one of them is. Their life's goal is to.
- [33:42]
Angie
To.
- [33:43]
Jennifer
They are trying to avoid facing the fact that they're not that masculine. And so we're watching the whole thing be played out on a global stage right now. And at the end of the day, we'll be at the end of the road saying, here's the deal. You're just puss boys, okay? You need to go. I mean, you're just. You're just piss boys. You're betas. You are the betas, and it's okay. Embrace it. But you're not. You're not it.
- [34:06]
Angie
You are not it. Listener. As you know, I'm not getting any younger. And one of the things that I struggle with is gray hair and gray hair. It's not just that it's a gray color, but the texture is weird too. So I'm like, how do I combat this? Array has revolutionized the way we think about gray hair. The products are clinically proven to slow gray growth, support repigmentation, and improve thickness and fullness in as little as three to six months with consistent use. I've been using this system myself and I have genuinely noticed a difference. So most people cover grays, but you can actually slow their progression for a limited time. Our listeners get 15% off at array by using code hatit.com just head to a R E Y dot com and use code hatit and you're all set. After your purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you Listener It's a new year. It's time to get your finances in order after spending on the holidays. And that is why I am telling you about Monarch. Unlike most personal finance apps, Monarch is built to make you proactive, not just reactive. Monarch's new AI tools are built on Monarch Intelligence, the core infrastructure that powers the app. Monarch Intelligence is a system trained on authentic collective wisdom of certified financial planners and financial advisors. Monarch will comb through the data to surface and insights personalized to you, such as hidden patterns, identifying lifestyle creep versus inflation and changes in saving rates, and more. Eight out of 10 members say Monarch gives them a clear picture of where their money's going this new year. Achieve your financial goals for good. Monarch is the all in one tool that makes proactive money management simple all year long. Use had it@monarch.com for half off your first year. That's 50% off your first year@monarch.com with code had it.
- [36:30]
Kylie
Okay, up next we've got Maddie.
- [36:33]
Maddie
Hey Jen. And Pumps. And Callie. First of all, I just want to say thank you guys for being the raging level parents that I never had. I truly appreciate it. So what I've had it with is huge corporations sending you a happy birthday email with no discount or, you know, nothing special inside. I just turned 27 and so I was sifting through all the in my inbox. I got one from Delta saying thank you for being a trusted customer and that's it. How about you give me a discount or 27,000 miles? That would be a fun surprise prize. Another one I got was from my dentist with a weird YouTube link to someone singing Happy Birthday. I have friends and family to wish me a happy birthday. I don't need this creepy video that actually just Worsened my day. How about you take $100 off my last cleaning bill? That was $600. That would be appreciated. Anyways, I wanted to mention a few because omens I witnessed recently as well. First was on my birthday, I saw a huge monster truck with three Trump flags get pulled over by the cops. That was lovely. The second was the other day I witnessed a cyber truck get stuck in a snow bank. So, you know, it's just the little things that keep you going. Anyways, please come out and do a show in Montana. I will rally everyone I know. Thank you, ladies for doing the good work. Love you. Bye.
- [37:58]
Angie
Bye. Bye.
- [38:01]
Jennifer
I love all of that. I love all of the bullet points of note she was sharing with the listener and with us. Well done. No notes there. Love knowing about the monster trucks and the Trump trucks getting pulled over.
- [38:16]
Angie
And I'll tell you what that guy has right now, insecurity out the gazoo. If he's running around in a monster truck with three Trump flags, get the out.
- [38:26]
Jennifer
I guess it's just wild to me that, like, think about all the people in the world that could be your identity and just stop me, just stop for a second. Even get out of the news cycles out of the fact that he's president and just think like, you're a guy and you want to be a tough guy and so you, you're going to pick somebody that you're going to worship who's going to like, be your identity. And they pick him like that guy.
- [38:53]
Angie
They think he's so rich.
- [38:55]
Jennifer
I think that has enabled him to provide false information on the worshiper of Trump that, well, he's rich. There's this idea, I think a lot of men like, if you're rich, you can get away with anything.
- [39:12]
Angie
Yes.
- [39:12]
Jennifer
If you're rich, the rules don't apply to you. And Trump is the manifestation of that. So I do think that's a component of it. But I think that they like how mean he is. Like, because these people have some mommy and daddy issues, inner child issues, and they have this inner rage and Trump is a really good conduit for that. For the people who it's like he's their whole identity. I think for some people that work paycheck to paycheck, he was just an anti establishment candidate that didn't follow the news cycle all the time and they thought, oh, okay, they bought into this. Oh, he's a businessman. So he's going to do things differently. Because the Democrats have left a void there where they haven't messaged like, actually, you don't want government run like a business that's actually bad. That's actually what we want government to run. The opposite of. We do not want it to be for profit only. It has to be. Government has to be safety regulations and put it citizen safety and well being and collectivism before individuality. But Democrats haven't done a good job with that. They just allow so many things to go unanswered.
- [40:17]
Angie
No, I agree. And they also, I mean, here's one thing that Trump, and this is true, he's never been held accountable for his actions on a public stage. He can go and grab him by the, and, you know, be an adjudicated rapist and porn stars while he has a new baby. And he gets away with it. And my guess is that's attractive. It's repulsive to me, but I think some people are like, well, he gets away with it, you know, I mean, the lack of accountability in his life is glaring.
- [40:48]
Maddie
Yeah.
- [40:49]
Jennifer
Yeah, it is.
- [40:51]
Kylie
Okay, up next, we've got Brittany.
- [40:55]
Jennifer
Hey, y'.
- [40:56]
Angie
All.
- [40:56]
Brittany
So this is a. I've had it. That has already definitely been mentioned before, but it literally just happened. And I bow down both legs just losing my mind.
- [41:08]
Jennifer
And it's real.
- [41:08]
Brittany
It's, it's stupid, but it's not. I'm in small town Kentucky born and raised here. We just got ourselves a Dollar General, which I feel like if you ever just bury one of those plastic bags somewhere, a new one pops up stupid as. But regardless, I run in there to get some Oreos because I ate most of them and didn't leave enough for my wife. And I felt bad that there's only two left, so I've got her some because I've just been eating my feelings lately because who the wouldn't? I decide that I also need tampons while I'm in there. And then the price tag on them is 950. And I'm, you know, I've got the money, but I don't have the money and I'm still mad about it regardless, checking out, everything's fine, get my shit together. And she says, all right, you have a blessed day. And I want to spin it and just say, I can't have a damn blessed day in this Republican hellscape, you ignorant slut. But I don't say that. I don't say anything. I just, I'm not even offended by people being, being blessed. I'm not offended by blessings typically. But why can't you just say the hey, cool, you got your You've got your. You can leave now. Why, why, why do we have to say it? Why do we. You can just say, okay, have a good one. A good one, that's fine. Or maybe don't give any of anybody a command because don't tell me what to do. Don't tell me to have a blessed day. Don't tell me to do anything. Just say, cool, you got your, your peace out. I would love that.
- [42:28]
Jennifer
I've had it. I love her, love her, lover had it. And just ask God, I've had it. And then she just hangs up.
- [42:39]
Angie
I have that same grievance. I just, I went. I can't even remember what I did the other day. I. I was a doctor's appointment or something like, have a blessed day. And it just sent me into a rage that I was just in fear, infuriated by. Do not tell me to have a blessed day. Go yourself.
- [42:59]
Jennifer
Now's a great time for me to share a story. I think for the, like, OG listeners, this would have been shared the first year, but now that we've have a couple more listeners, I think I should share it again. So doctors that mix religion in their medical practice, that's just more than I can take. And so my first son, Dylan, had chronic ear infections. And I had to get. Take him to the doctor. And I was desperate. And like, Ents are very difficult to get in with. And so There was one ENT that could see him, and his name was Dr. Santos. And so I go to Dr. Santos's office with my baby, and he's like 1 year old, like, cute as a button, obviously. And. And I go to the, the waiting room, and it's like the only thing on the coffee tables this is in Oklahoma City, are Bibles. That's it. The entire waiting room is all Bibles. And then it has Billy Graham posters as the art. And I am sitting there like, oh, my God, why am I. No, why? This can't be real. Like, how did this person. How is this possible? This is an ear, nose and throat doctor. And we have all of this Billy Graham and all this Bible dump truck in the waiting room of the ENT office. I'm like dying, but at the same time, I was tired. My kid kept waking up in the middle of night with these ear infections screaming snot, like green snot, you know, crying hysterically that then he'd vomit. And I wasn't sleeping either. And I was desperate. I mean, I was desperate. Times required desperate measures. So I, I wait through and I go back and I meet Dr. Santos, who I immediately then nicknamed Dr. Jesus Christ Santos. And he looks in Dylan's ears and he's like, oh, we've got to put tubes in. And I'm like, oh, my God, thank you. Like, how soon can you get him in? And he's like, I actually just had cancellation. We can do it, like in two days. So I'm like, oh, my God, maybe it's true. Maybe there is a God. Like, maybe this is it. I'm just kidding. No, I'm just kidding. So then I go to the hospital and my mother is with me and I've got my darling little baby. And right before the surgery, and listen, my mother is like, hardcore atheist. Like, she sees it as like a intellectual flaw, like a character defect if people are like, uber religious, especially if they're grandiose in their religiosity. Well, Dr. Jesus Christ Santos was very much the latter. And so we're sitting there and he goes, okay, before we get the procedure, I do this all the time. It won't take very long. And he's in his scraps and he goes, before, before we go back, let's. Let's let me lead us in prayer. And I'm like, oh. Because I knew my mother is just going to be like, are you kidding me right now? That a medical doctor in a hospital before a surgery, like, how inappropriate. I just. I knew immediately. So I'm like, thinking to myself, like, I hate this shit too. I think it's so performative, but I desperately need this kid to have these tubes in his ears so that the nightmare of crying in the middle of the night with earaches will end for all of us. So he grabs everybody's hands and he starts in. And it's not just a. Like, dear God, it is dear Holy Jesus. I mean, it is a Bible thump. And I look over at my mother and I'm just, like, looking at her look, and she's like, going, oh. I mean, she's literally just disgusted. I mean, she's just so disgusted by this man. So then. And at the same time, like, I still. I totally think the guy's a nut, but he is an md and I, like, looked up and he had all the credentials, and it's like a great hospital hospital that we were at. So I passed Dylan over, like, to he and the nurse, and there he go. There he goes back. My mother sat there the whole surgery, and she's like, can you believe the nerve of that guy? I mean, God, talk about a state of Religious psychosis. And I'm like, well mom, I didn't want to tell you about the waiting room. And I told her and she's like, oh for God's sake, Jennifer. But nonetheless, we got the tubes. But it's just wild like the desire for people to just cram, cram, cram, cram their religion down your throat. Like, I just don't think that he needed to be conducting a pre surgical prayer. I just think that's really weird.
- [47:31]
Angie
I think it's weird like he has Bibles in his office. That to me, I mean, all of it's weird.
- [47:39]
Jennifer
That's up, right? Right. Like, and then it's like, what's going on? Like, what's going on, Dr. Jesus Christ Santos? Because this is so compensatory. Compensatory that you're compensating so desperately for something and you're so insecure in your own faith that you have to project it onto everybody else that you can't just hold your own faith. And it means something beautiful to you that your whole medical practice cramming it down this one year old's throat right before you're going to put tubes in his ears. And my poor atheist mother, you know, I don't know, I just think it's really weird.
- [48:16]
Angie
I think it's weird and it doesn't instill confidence that the surgeon's having to pray before he takes your kid back. That doesn't make me feel that he's confident in his ability. And maybe, I mean, you know, it.
- [48:27]
Jennifer
Just, it was one of those long, like my mother, Hallelujah. You know, it's just. Yeah, I know you're probably all way more familiar with it than I was and my poor mother was. But it's to me, it's so off putting and it's such a, to those that are listening on the coast, like you don't experience this. It is, it is so real. Now that I've been in New York for like three or four months, I'm realizing, oh my God, this is the longest time I've ever gone without somebody mentioning church or asking me about church or mentioning religion and personal conversations in my entire life. Because if you live in Oklahoma, it's ubiquitous, it's non stop, it's constant. It's their whole identity, it's their whole attachment to culture. It's so, to me such a cult in the Bible Belt.
- [49:21]
Angie
You mean businesses and storefronts in New York don't have like, we're a Christian faith based company on their windows I haven't seen it.
- [49:30]
Jennifer
Yeah.
- [49:30]
Angie
Wow.
- [49:31]
Jennifer
They're not playing Christian worship. Music interest?
- [49:34]
Angie
No. Little fish sign?
- [49:37]
Jennifer
No, haven't seen one.
- [49:38]
Kylie
Okay.
- [49:39]
Angie
Well, who knew?
- [49:41]
Jennifer
All right, that's all we have for today. Happy New Year to everyone. My New Year's resolution is to not make a resolution. That's what I do every single year. Because I never want to set myself up for failure.
- [49:54]
Angie
Well, I found that every. If I said it was a resolution, I immediately fucked it up. So I just. I quit.
- [50:01]
Jennifer
Stop.
- [50:01]
Angie
Happy New Year. Happy New Year. And we will see you next Tuesday and Thursday.
- [50:11]
Jennifer
I'll tell you what I've had it with. Let's hear it.
- [50:13]
Angie
I've had it with that.
- [50:16]
Jennifer
Listen up patriots, Gayatriots and Natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday. Every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America. Always served with a side of petty grievances.
- [50:36]
Angie
We are on all the available platforms. Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcast and YouTube.
- [50:43]
Jennifer
Please go, rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind. Mind pumps. Pumps. What does an eagle say? Caca. A little bit more enthusiasm.
- [50:55]
Kylie
Caca.
- [50:56]
Jennifer
That's it. That's caca. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.