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Jennifer
So are we supposed to start the podcast?
Angie
Ready? One, two, three.
Jennifer
Three. Patriots gay trots. Patriots Black Trio, Brown Trio. I like that. It's kind of a whimper.
Angie
A whimper.
Jennifer
Welcome to America's top DEI podcast. Pumps. What have you had it with?
Angie
Okay, what I've had it with are when you go into a public restroom and it has a sensor for the soap and the water. And I'm like doing all the things, trying to get them to see my hands, and I can't ever get the sensor to do it. And then I run my hand out of the water, I do all this stuff, stuff, and I can never get it to start on me. And so then I get, I think, well, it's broken. So I go to the next one, pushing my hands all, you know, waving my hands in front of the deal. It still doesn't work. Somebody walks right up next to me and is able to immediately enact the sensor. So I don't know if it's me that I've had it with or it's the sensors that I've had it with because I, it, it's a reoccurring theme in my life.
Jennifer
I've experienced this as well. And I think with the sensor, there's a Goldilocks position that's just right that sometimes it's hard to find. And I've done the same thing. I've gone to a sink, I have the soap, it comes out and I've got soapy hands. And then I'm like, oh no. Oh no, there's no water, no water. And I go to the next faucet and then I go to the next faucet and then somebody comes in and just flexes right in front of me. And I feel like, am I a moron? But I think it's a Fault within the sensor that you have to get this exact Goldilocks positioning on your hands in order for it to sense. And I've also kind of had it with. Have you ever had those combo. It's like a. It's a Dyson product and it. It comes out and it's like a Y shape.
Angie
Yes.
Jennifer
And it's a. It's a soap, a water and a fan all in one spot. Yep. And I went. Went in one day and it was just like I had water splashing up on me from the fan. It was. That thing is a shit show. We need to have designated stations. I don't want the drying station with the washing station.
Angie
I've blown soap in my eyes from that station before.
Jennifer
That thing is something else.
Angie
I mean, it comes so hard and fast. And I've also, like, I've been doing the sensor dance where I'm trying to do it, trying to do it, and when it finally comes out, it scares me. And this woman shamed me for it in the bathroom. She walks out, she goes, you didn't know that was going to squirt water? And I was like, I've been trying for five minutes. So, yes, I was actually startled that it came out. And we just laughed because then she couldn't get hers to work. I mean, it's just. You do it so much and you can't get it to come. So anyway, I've had it with that. I realize how great it is with the germs and everything, but I would just like to be able to wash my hands with confidence that the water's going to come out, the soap's going to come out, and I can dry my hands.
Jennifer
I think they need to expand the scope of the sensor. The sensor needs to be a little bit more sensitive. You shouldn't. It shouldn't be that difficult because what this does, if you're at a sporting event or a highly populated bathroom, we need people rotating right out very quickly. And in general, one of our grievances that we put on record with this podcast is how much longer it takes for women to use the restroom than for men. And put this on top of this Goldilocks situation with the sensors. We've got to. They need to expand the eyeball and the sensor of that scope to where your hands are down there. And it's got a laser lock.
Angie
It's going.
Jennifer
Water's coming right out.
Angie
Right. No, I completely agree. So that's mine.
Jennifer
All right, so let me tell you what. I've had it with this Happens to me all the time. So when I have to go run errands and do things, I need for everyone to clear out of my way. Yeah, I need for it. I need for the universe to align to where. And this is completely narcissistic and selfish of me, but I, I know that I'm not the only person that feels this way. I have to run into the grocery store and I'm like five things. I get one, I get two, I get three. I get to the fourth item and we've got a lollygagger standing right in front of this section that I need to just reach in and get my item, pull my item out, put it in the cart, go to my fifth item and move on. And sadly, this has happened to me all the time. I've got a lollygagger shopper in my way and I just, in my mind I think, why are you sabotaging my shopping experience? I personalize it as though this person is somehow trying to personally sabotage my I'm going to run in grab and dash situation. And I feel irrational anger towards this person who just isn't in a hurry, right? Who just is taking their old sweet time at the grocery store, reviewing different types of dip for the chip and maybe reading ingredients. I don't understand that type of person. I don't understand that availability of time in one's life. Maybe I envy it and maybe I'm jealous of it, hence the irrational anger. But I have just had it with going shopping and you've got a person parked in front of the section that you need. And I'm not saying like it's just their person, which would be like maybe, you know, 15, 20 inches wide. Their cart is an extension, right? So you've got about a 3 to 4 foot space there that you're unable to access because of this lollygagger. And I've had it. I've had it up to my eyeballs. It's the same thing with register congestors at a walk up ordering. It's the same thing when I'm driving down the road and some schmohawk wants to take a left turn and there's a lot of ongoing traffic. I think, why are they doing this to me? And I feel this irrational, selfish, narcissistic rage.
Angie
No, I completely, completely do too. And I think it's just, there's always an efficiency. I feel like you and I both thrive with efficiency. We're gonna get it moving. It's gonna take 15 minutes. We've got the next thing lined up. And so when somebody throws a wrench in that two things. I have shimmied myself in front of the cart and the person and just grabbed it. And I know that's probably rude, but there are also times yesterday I was trying to get my car washed and the guy was like yakking with the other guy that was taking the money. And I just thought, these fuckers are sitting here talking at the car wash station. Like what could they possibly be talking about? And then I start thinking, do they know I'm behind them and they're just trying to make me late. Like it becomes personal. Like they woke up in the morning and they said, how can I fuck her?
Jennifer
That's exactly.
Angie
And they don't know I exist on the planet. So it can't be that.
Jennifer
It's exactly. And then it's the same thing when you're going to a restaurant and it's the walk up order register. Once we finally get through this person that can't make up their mind that special ordered something that could only parallel with Josh Welch's special ordering, then we get, you know, we're going through a few minutes to try to find the correct form of payment. I mean, this is just lacking cell phone awareness compounding massively. Then at the tail end of it, we do some idle chitchat.
Angie
Yes.
Jennifer
And I'm just sitting there thinking, this is not the time for idle chitchat. This is the time you've paid. You've already consolidated. Ten people could have ordered in the time that you placed that one order. Ten, ten efficient people could have soldiered through. And now we're chit chatting. Yeah, now we're chit chatting. Are you kidding me? And I. The rage that I feel about that makes me think I am not a candidate to be out with the general public.
Angie
Right. It makes me think I am a delivery only person because I do not mix. Like there should be a sign that says doesn't play well with others.
Jennifer
Right?
Angie
She cannot contain herself. Because I was just enraged yesterday at this man and I was like cussing. My kids were with me and they were like, mom, cut him a break. I mean, they're just chit chatting when.
Jennifer
Your kids are 100.
Angie
Right?
Jennifer
But here's what I totally, totally normal reaction. Here's what I propose. There are people like us and our listener on Asshole Island. We travel differently, we shop differently, we drive differently, we order food differently. Everything is just a little different. It's a little less friendly, it's a little bit more Authentic when we are with the people that we want to be with. It's not just this superficial bravado at all times on, you know, a timeline. Like we have 10 lives on this earth. I'm not interested in that. So what I propose is much like we propose at the airport, you have a section of the airport for the people who have self awareness and like to rush through things and keep. Run a tight ship and keep things tidy. Similarly, I think at the grocery store, we should have half the grocery store for the lollygaggers and the other half for Asshole Island.
E. Jean Carroll
Right?
Jennifer
Because I don't want to mix with the lollygaggers. It fucks with my serenity. And I'm going to say it with my serenity because maybe I'm jealous of the serenity that they have to just, with reckless abandon, spend 20 minutes reading the ingredients of dip for chips. Maybe I'm jealous of that. Maybe I'm the fucking problem. But here's the thing. If I'm wrong, I don't want to be right.
Angie
No, I don't.
Jennifer
I don't want to stand in front of the chip dip and read the ingredients and have my shopping cart edged out, blocking off people that are in a hurry. I don't want to do that. I want to be on Asshole Island. I want every store, every road curated for my most efficient path down it. Is it selfish? Is it narcissistic? You're goddamn right it is. Welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer.
Angie
I'm Angie. The HBIC had beaver.
Jennifer
Let's check in with Kiki. The magic lesbian who pumps in her advanced age. Keeps calling Katie.
Kylie
I actually have a quick story about you guys and your. And your efficiency.
Jennifer
Oh, good.
Kylie
So Ana and I went on our own solo trip last year. It's our first time flying together in a long time. We get into an actual fight at the airport because I won't slow down and walk with her. I'm going too fast.
Jennifer
Yeah.
Kylie
Which you guys know I've been conditioned to do from traveling with you two.
Jennifer
Yeah.
Kylie
So we get in this fight in the airport. Well, we all got to travel together recently. And you guys take off. I'm right with you. We're going at the I've had it pace.
E. Jean Carroll
Yeah.
Kylie
And I look back at Anna and I say, you see where I get it? It's not me. I've been trained to do this.
Jennifer
So she noticed in the airport, she couldn't keep up that I've had it pace.
Angie
Yeah.
Jennifer
Here's the thing, I just. I oppose lollygagging in all of its forms. Even if I'm taking a relaxing walk, it's going to be brisk.
Angie
Absolutely.
Jennifer
I'm just. I'm not ever going to just think I'm going to slowly stroll because, number one, what a waste of a walk to not even try to get your heart rate up this tad bit and burn a few more calories. Furthermore, walking faster means you see more, you do more. So I just. Again, I might be the problem here, and I'm okay with that. But if this. I don't want to be a part of the solution either. You know, if the solution is to slow down all of this stuff, I don't. I don't want any part of that that doesn't appeal to me.
Angie
I'm picturing part of the solution is going to, like a Chipotle type order. And 10 people ask, well, what do you think? Do you like the new rice? So what do you make that salsa with, like, and me sitting there in line and not having a problem with it? That feels like my life would be completely out of control at that point.
Jennifer
Yeah, that. That feels like rock bottom. That feels like rock that. I don't know if there's enough therapists on the planet that could get us through that. If I got to the stage where I'm just having these random conversations about the ingredients of food with random people while other people are waiting, put me down. Take me to the vet and put my ass down. I don't need to participate in any of this anymore.
Angie
This is not making anybody better.
Jennifer
All right, Kylie.
Kylie
Okay, I've got some reviews for you. This one is five stars titled True Service. And Suanny writes, someday these women need to be awarded the Congressional Medal of Freedom for their service to is all.
Jennifer
I'm just trying to imagine us getting all hookered up, heading over to the White House. Of course, it wouldn't be Donald Trump, but if we, if the democracy survives, some president putting those medals on us and us acting serious, I can't even picture that happening. We would be dying, laughing at the, at the seriousness of the award, that it would be like a couple of, you know, hookers in church.
Angie
Right.
Jennifer
You know, it would just be insane. But that's very, very sweet. What's next?
Kylie
Okay, up next, we've got another five stars titled Complaining is my Love Language. And they write, hi, I'm a Mexican female surviving in Southern California. Just want to let you know Los Angeles is not burning or rioting. Thank you for this Podcast. It has saved my life. I exaggerate, but it does make my work day less soul crushing. You've also made news digestible with I hit news clips. I literally get more information from you than anywhere else. Keep up the fight and stay smack talking on the Cheeto dusted felon and his ball gurgler. May they choke on them long prunes.
Jennifer
You know, I mean, it's so wild sometimes, like when I just stop and think about what's going on in this country. It just, it's so crazy that so many people are just on board with all of this. And I think what's really been getting me lately is it's not enough for them to want to deport people and find out if they need to be or don't need to be or can contribute and find a pathway to citizen. They're not interested in that. Okay, whatever. But now that's not enough. Now they want to torture them. Now they want to concentrate them in camps surrounded by alligators and talk about how if they escape, they're going to have to, have to learn how to maneuver around them. If not, they're going to get eaten by animals. That's just like, it's such Nazi Germany shit. I just, the people that vote for this are just, I don't want my life. I don't want anything to do with them. I want nothing to do with Nazis. And now we have the American Nazi Party.
Angie
Absolutely. And I think I really did because I hope springs eternal. And I'm naive as fuck. I thought people are going to see that they're selling merch, where they're going to send people without due process, with no chance. Like, with no chance.
Jennifer
I mean, you're already so far over your skis on that, no timetable to let him out.
Angie
And they're gonna say, that is not okay. That is not who we are. We don't do this to people. And it has been crickets. I mean, I, I honestly can say I was somewhat surprised. And then I think we've got the Aliens Enemies act. And then it's gonna go through the Supreme Court because they're gonna sue. And is this Supreme Court just gonna be like, fuck yeah, baby, put him out there. Let the alligator. I mean, I just, I, I don't know where we are today in the United States of America. I mean, we're on the downhill slide, don't get me wrong. But, like, our moral compass is so profoundly fucked up and.
Jennifer
No, it is. But exactly what you describe is exactly how authoritarian, authoritarian footing takes hold you have this expectation from people who have never shown humanity in a decade, but yet you still have this expectation this is going to be it and it's not. So you keep moving the goalposts for them. And instead we need to all collectively realize these people had no problem voting for him when he called all immigrants rapist and so on and so on, tried to give a microphone a blowjob, the insurrection and all of this. So I love you to pieces. But having an expectation that people that Triple Trump are going to have a moment of morality or clarity is on you at this point. And then that continues. You continue to move the goalposts and you have to expect the worst with them. We all should be expecting them to figure out a way to stop the midterms. I fully, now, I do expect that them to do that. I fully expect the Triple Trumpers to applaud the first time a migrant is eaten by an alligator. They've already made ASMR videos on the White House social media as a relaxing sedative for MAGA followers as people are getting chained and shackled in, sent to a concentration camp in El Salvador. So I have zero, zero hope or aspiration that these people are anything other than what they are. MAGA Christians are evil to their core. They are what will remain after Donald Trump drops dead. These people will remain. Their cruelty will remain. They want at Christian Sharia law. They want gays humiliated and tortured. They want. Women are already being humiliated and tortured by being denied lifesaving abortion care. And so this stuff with the migrants. But you don't even have to ask me, ask a black person what their experience has been like with these people and they'll tell you, these MAGA Christians, look them straight in the eye and call them the N word with the hard ride. And that's just, we've, we've, we've overlooked it and overlooked it. But now white people are trying finally getting a dose of what it's like to be black in America.
Angie
That's right. That's right. And it, I, and it really, it's going to take all of us to get us out of this because there are so many of these people.
Jennifer
Yeah. And here's the thing. I mean, I, I don't know. I don't. They're so arrogant in their worldview that it's right and righteous and they don't want the separation of church and state. They want a theocracy.
Angie
Right.
Jennifer
I simply, I don't want that. I'm not interested in religion. I'm not interested in magical thinking. I don't think there's a devil with horns in his head that has an army of demons that are torturing people in hell right now. Call me crazy, that sounds kind of batshit, but those people legitimately believe that. So much so that Caroline Levitt, the White House press secretary, she was on talking about spiritual warfare the other day. Like it's just normal and real.
Angie
Yeah.
Jennifer
So, I mean, I, I don't know. I don't know how to. I don't, I don't know how you. I don't want to be with Christian nationalists.
Angie
No.
Jennifer
I can't stand them.
Angie
No.
Jennifer
Okay, on to some non political news for the class today. Okay, I thought this was just. I'm going to get your all's take on this. I kind of thought this was hilarious and, and I know that everybody's just going to browbeat me for thinking this is so funny, but I'm going to go ahead and read the headline. Teacher accused of chugging booze, calling students little shits and making them dance the Macarena. A teacher who allegedly chugged booze and hurled curse words at students during a lesson that she interrupt to have them dance the Macarena has been fired. The teacher was seen swigging from a water bottle full of orange liquid which smelled of alcohol and blaring music from her laptop during the health class. Students said the usually reserved and quiet teachers classes on alcohol and drug awareness were normally quote, boring. She also called students little shits and put her middle finger 2 to 3 inches from another teen's face during the out of control class. So it's kind of like you, you little. So I saw this and I of course just busted out laughing pumps. What's your take?
Angie
I think probably, I think we can all surmise that she was drunk, she needed to be fired. But quite frankly, if I was a teenager and that teacher happened, I've loved it.
Jennifer
I would have loved it. It would have been one of my loved it.
Angie
I would have macaron it. I would have done the F you back. I mean that would have just been like a great class.
Jennifer
Totally. I mean, obviously she does need to be fired. Obviously. You can't get all liquored up.
Angie
No, you can't get liquored out.
Jennifer
And she may be an alcoholic, which would, you know, and then I have empathy for her, but just picturing her making them all get up and get up your little shits. Let's do the Macarena. Like I would have craved something like that at my boring High school.
Angie
I would have loved it. And I'll tell you what else. My guess is they were little shits.
Jennifer
They drove her to drink and get all liquored up.
Angie
They drove her to Drake.
Jennifer
Yeah. Okay, next up. Okay, this one we really have to deep dive into. This is top tier premium petty, you guys. Airbnb host sends a man's wife security footage of him with another woman after he left a bad review. A wild story is making rounds on social media after an Airbnb host reportedly snitched on a guest by sending security footage of him with another woman straight to his wife's inbox. All because he left a bad review. According to the now viral tell, the man had stayed at the property for a short getaway. After his stay, he left a negative review on Airbnb, complaining about the amenities and customer service. The host, furious over what they saw as an unfair rating, allegedly decided to get revenge by digging through their security footage from the stay. That's when they found something juicy. The man wasn't alone. He had checked in with a woman who was not his wife. Screenshots of emails and DMs show the host tracking down the guest's wife, possibly through social media, then forwarding her clips or images of him cozying up with another woman during his stay.
Angie
Okay, I'm kind of here for it.
Jennifer
I kind of answered.
Angie
I'm just like, if you're gonna around on your wife, big boy, these are consequences. Maybe you didn't anticipate and maybe that's on you. But do the crime, do the time. I don't blame the Airbnb.
Jennifer
Well, and here's the thing, too, think about how arrogant this guy is, okay? He's an adulterer, right? Probably a womanizer, Clearly a womanizer. And he gets an Airbnb. And to go, you know, sex it up, do a lot of naughty stuff with his mistress, and then instead of like trying to leave no trace of.
Angie
It, like, I was never there, he.
Jennifer
Goes, and he's so arrogant and thinks he can operate with such impunity, he goes and leaves a shitty review. And I guess the Airbnb person, his review must be an outlier, right? For them to have gone to this length of pettiness to expose this man. I would assume for the Airbnb people, it's an outlier of a review.
E. Jean Carroll
You.
Jennifer
And so they're like, well, what's his deal? We have a five star rating. Why is this guy going off on us? And I have to say, the investigation.
Angie
Love all of it.
Jennifer
Screenshotting tracking the wife down. And then think about this. They see the picture, he's like, oh, they brought a woman here. Well, let's go to his social media. Oh, this isn't the same woman. I got to tell you, this is something out of our playbook.
Angie
Right. I mean, I'm titillated just at the thought.
Jennifer
I would like to start a company where it's like, let's the Airbnb busters. Because the whole thing, from start to finish, brilliantly executed.
Angie
Brilliantly.
Jennifer
And then to put it. I mean, this picture of the mistress, it's all over the Internet now.
Angie
Yeah, that's a bust. It's what you call a B U S T bust.
Jennifer
Kylie, what do you think about that?
Kylie
Oh, I'm all for this. A hundred percent in.
Jennifer
I think it's just. I think it's like, if you're gonna around, then you're gonna find out.
E. Jean Carroll
Yeah.
Angie
And if his wife wasn't with him at the Airbnb, he should have never left a review to begin with, because.
Jennifer
Exactly. That's what I'm saying. Right.
Angie
I mean, he was not trying. He thinks he is hot stuff. He is big dick in the big city. He has got his girlfriend at the Airbnb.
Jennifer
I wonder if the girlfriend was bitching about it. And so he's like, okay, well, I'm gonna. You know, I mean, I don't know. I don't know what his deal is, but he's.
Angie
Well, you know what he did. He around found out.
E. Jean Carroll
Yeah.
Jennifer
Kylie, do y' all ever stay in Airbnbs?
Kylie
We do. We're trying to do that less because they actually are way scarier than a hotel room. I feel way less safe.
Jennifer
I agree.
Kylie
Someone could live in the walls. They could have cameras. I don't know.
Jennifer
I've seen that a lot of reporting where the host house has these little hidden nanny cams, and then they're watching the footage of you having sex or changing clothes or. That's really, like.
Angie
That's got to be a crime, right?
Jennifer
Well, you. You are America's greatest legal.
Angie
Well, but, I mean, people aren't. I mean, I get ring camera kind of thing, but being surveilled in the home, I don't think that's legal. I wouldn't think. I've also heard sometimes the host stays in the house with you.
Jennifer
Well, that's a partial rent. So you can, like, rent a room on Airbnb. So, like, you right now, being an empty nester, you could rent out your bedrooms.
Angie
Oh, yeah.
Jennifer
But I mean, Some people, it's a way to, you know, in large cities.
Angie
One of my daughters doing that in New York City and loves it, loves her house, loves.
Jennifer
You're in your 20s. It's in a affordable way to meet people, to get connected. So it's not. I mean, obviously at our stage and season of life, that's not something to live with. Me.
Angie
Ben was telling my friend who was in town yesterday. Yeah. My mom makes no bones about she can't wait for us to all be gone after summer. She can't wait. She likes it a lot better when we're not here.
Jennifer
Yeah.
Angie
I'm like, well, I kind of do.
Jennifer
What'd you say?
Angie
I said, I kind of do. I like my routine. I like my space. I like my dog. I like just being in charge of everything. And I like everything being about me all the time. And when I'm at home by myself with my dogs, it is.
Jennifer
Yeah. Yeah. How did Emily take that?
Angie
She knows it. I mean, I don't try to hide it that well.
Jennifer
Yeah. All right. Well, you know, I have to say I've enjoy. I enjoy when my kids are home. But we listener. There's a difference. Pumps. When her kids are home, she refuses to, in real time, draw boundaries, to take time for herself. So, no, I'm better. But for years, it's them all piled on top of you. 24, 7, 360.
Angie
Breastfeeding all the time. Yeah, that's true.
Jennifer
Yeah.
Angie
But anyway, I'll be. I mean, you know, I'll be glad when everybody goes back to college.
Jennifer
I think that's good. It's good for them and it's good for you. But you've enjoyed them. I've.
Angie
I've totally enjoyed it. But, you know, I've done that for 25 years.
Jennifer
I'm ready for a little space. Pumps. And I need to share with everybody that we have written a book. It's called Life is a Lazy Susan of shit sandwiches and believe it or not, pumps. And I have not always been so rock solid. And we talk about all of our trials, tribulations, most of all our fuckups. Yes. Because fuckups are relatable and a part of the human experience.
Angie
I have gotten so much feedback regarding the book that because of myself situation with the religion and addiction and all that, that people relate to that. So I do think there's something to take away that's comforting about it because we've all been in very difficult situations.
Jennifer
And listener what we want you to do. This is the it book for summer reading. So please get your copy of Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches and take a picture of yourself with the book and really great places and tag at I've had It podcast and we will share your images with our Summer it book. You can buy it in bookstores, you can buy it in the link in our bio. You can buy it at Target, Walmart, Amazon, etc, all the retailers. Happy reading and Happy summer. Okay, listeners, stop what you're doing and listen up because we're giving away a ton of free vibrators. And not just any vibrators. Silent vibrators. That's right. If you haven't heard of Bellesa, let's put you on. This is a By Women for Everyone company that's completely flipping the script on sexual wellness. Their mission is empowering you to embrace, explore and celebrate your pleasure. And of course, we here at iPadit podcast, we have got to hook you guys up. So we're doing a giveaway with Belessa where everyone wins a free vibrator. Yep, you heard that right. A fully free Whisper Vibe or a free Air Vibe toy with any whisper order. You know that viral red vibrator that's all over your Instagram feed, retails for 89, but you get it for free. That's simply iconic. All you got to do is click the link in the episode description or head to bb vibes.com haditpod that's b b v I b e s.com h a d I T P O D the Whisper Vibes will stay completely silent, but the big question is, can you? This is an ad by BetterHelp Listener. I have to tell you, I know we all probably share this same experience, that sometimes we just have like a lot of workplace stress, job stress, and you go home and the stress of your job goes home with you. You wake up in the middle of night, you think about it, and we have to figure out ways to battle this stress so that we can find some functioning serenity. That's why at least twice a month, I've really benefited from therapy with my Better help therapist. With over 30, 000 therapists, better help is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over people globally. It's convenient, too. You can join a session with a therapist at the click of a button, helping you fit therapy into your busy life. Plus, you can switch therapists at any time. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Our listeners get 10 off their first month@betterhelp.com had it. That's BetterHelp. H E L P.com had it. All right. We have a guest that we are incredibly excited about and it is none other than E. Jean Carroll. She's a journalist and the author of five books, including a biography of Hunter S. Thompson and the New York Times best selling book, Not My Type. One woman versus a President. She has written for Rolling Stone, the New York Times, Outside, Vanity Fair, New York and Esquire. She was named one of the most influential people in the world in 2024. She throws the ball for her dogs at her cabin in the mountains in upstate New York. And considering she's so influential, it's no coincidence that she has arrived at I've had it podcast. Let's welcome Eugene Carroll.
E. Jean Carroll
Oh, my God, the two of you, you just crack me up.
Jennifer
I love it.
Angie
You crack me up. You are so funny. You were Carrie Bradshaw before Carrie Bradshaw.
E. Jean Carroll
Thank you. But you have a bad influence on me now. They said EG before you go on. I've had it. You have to think of things that you've had it with. And I like to grab joy. I don't like to think of the annoying thing. Well, God damn it. This morning, getting ready for your podcast. I've had it with this tea. I take it off. I can't do my eyeliner. I've had it with this eyeliner. You have bad influence.
Jennifer
Yeah, we're terrible. Rotten to the core.
E. Jean Carroll
Oh. I mean, I. I don't know if I'm going to get over it. I'm now seeing everything that irks me and it pisses me off.
Jennifer
Oh, yeah. Let me ask you this. What do your friends call you? E. Jean.
E. Jean Carroll
Yes.
Jennifer
E. Jean. Okay. All right, Eugene, what have you had it with since you've been deep diving into grievances? What comes. What's the very first thing you've had it with?
E. Jean Carroll
Brassieres.
Angie
That's me. I hate them.
E. Jean Carroll
Oh. Oh, okay. It's a python gripping you around your chest, pushing your chest up so your nipples are grazing your eyelashes. Right? And then you constantly have to open your shirt and jerk it down like it's Venetian blinds. It's impossible. And I don't even have a bosom. I have a tiny little bosom. I don't even know. Angie, I'm looking at you.
Angie
Yeah. Oh, no. Sagging dragons. It's a constant reboot. The only good thing about it, Eugene, is that when I go somewhere, I can put all my items that I need. I Don't have to take my purse. I can put my credit card, my phone, my vape, everything in my bra so that I'm hands free. That's the only thing about it. But if I don't have on a bra, my boobs, they're hitting my knees.
Jennifer
We've got apples in a tube sock situation over here for sure. Eugene, one time. Peak Covid. Peak Covid. We're heading to Mexico, right? And we're sitting. Our planes have gotten delayed, so we're all scattered all over the flight, and I look over at Angie, and she's sitting next to this woman who's like, double masked up, right? And all. Next thing I know her, she takes off her bra all the time, particularly on airplanes. This bra comes out, slaps this woman who's clearly a germaphobe with two mats right in the face, and. And I could just. Oh, I could feel the discussion. She's just like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. And then she's hitting her vape right on the plane, and that's just kind of how she rolls.
E. Jean Carroll
Oh, yeah, you're bad. And wait, and then you. What is the title of your book?
Jennifer
Oh, glad you asked. Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches, available at your local bookstore.
E. Jean Carroll
Like I said, Bad Influence. Bad Influence. I mean, that's a genius title.
Angie
Thank you.
E. Jean Carroll
And you live up to it. You live up to it. So I'm just saying I should not be around the two of you, because.
Angie
Bad combination.
Jennifer
I tell you what, we're a lot of fun, you know?
E. Jean Carroll
You know what I mean?
Jennifer
You know what I see, Eugene? You're making these declarative statements. Y' all are a bad influence. I don't want to be around you, but I can tell you're dying to get right here in the middle.
E. Jean Carroll
Yes. I mean, Barack Obama. I. I tuned in the other day, and you've got Hakeem Jeffries.
Jennifer
Yeah.
E. Jean Carroll
On your show. And I'm thinking maybe everybody should title their book Shit. Maybe this is the secret. You want Hakeem Jeffries on your podcast? Well, then start titling your book. Let me see.
Angie
With a cuss word.
E. Jean Carroll
Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches. I mean, that is. It's genius. It's genius.
Angie
Well, thank you.
Jennifer
You know what I think it is? I think it's. People are really just. In the post Trump era, just want authenticity, you know that? Especially combine that with the split scream of all the influencers on social media and this toxic positivity. Sometimes it's okay to be In a bad mood. Sometimes it's okay to say, I think that inspirational quote is stupid. Sometimes it's okay to feel frustrated because you have to feel it to get to the other side of it. And so that's kind of. We call our little audience Asshole island. And, you know, we're a bunch of cynical optimists is what I would say.
E. Jean Carroll
Yes. And I think you're doing a lot of good. I think you're helping people get off their lazy asses and stand up and maybe leave their houses. Maybe actually leave their houses and start to organize.
Jennifer
I agree. We have to.
Angie
We have to.
Jennifer
We've got to.
E. Jean Carroll
We've got to.
Jennifer
Eg.
E. Jean Carroll
Yeah.
Jennifer
When we were emailing with you before, I. You've got to dive into this whole thing about you've had it with people telling you that they're not getting closure.
E. Jean Carroll
No, no. You know, when the chap does not text you back, that is closure.
Jennifer
Agree.
E. Jean Carroll
Right. When you don't hear back from the company you wanted to work for, you've had the job interview, you hear nothing. That is closure. But if you're dying for closure, you're just dying for closure, then text that chap and say, screw you, it's over. I'm done. Done. If you want closure, you shut it down. You close it. If you want closure, you close it now. This is symptomatic of what's going on right now in the country. We all want closure from Donald Trump.
Jennifer
Good God. I know.
E. Jean Carroll
And all we do have you notice, is sit around and bitch about it. We want to shut him down. If we want to close him down. Like we were just saying, we have to be the ones to close him down. We. You, Angie. We have to be your listeners. We have to be the ones to shut him down, to close him down. This one enclosure, it doesn't work. We have to close him down. We have to be the ones.
Jennifer
I completely agree. And I feel like, you know, we have a large audience, a lot of LGBTQ people, and the thing that I see about this MAGA movement that bothers me is, you know, Trump's not a spring chicken, and he's not in the best of health, so, you know, the clock's ticking on that thing. Right?
E. Jean Carroll
You know, oh, no, he's gonna go to 100. No, no, no. 103. 104.
Angie
That's what I tell her, and she gets so mad at me.
E. Jean Carroll
I'm like, no, no, he's. He's here for. He's here. We know. He will be. He's Gonna be emperor. He's here. Unless we shut it down. Jennifer.
Jennifer
I think he's gonna live post 100 because mean people live forever.
E. Jean Carroll
No, Mary Trump's my good friend. Oh, Empress.
Jennifer
She's been on the pod before.
E. Jean Carroll
Oh, I gotta look up that episode.
Jennifer
It's great. Yeah.
E. Jean Carroll
So she's gonna live forever and we've talked about her family. Donald's gonna live forever. We have to close him down. That means after your podcast, we actually stand up, get off our lazy asses and walk outside and look to see, maybe organize a little something with our neighbors. That's. We just have to start, right?
Angie
I mean, micro level.
Jennifer
I think, you know, we talk about this a lot because people ask all the time, what can we do? What can we do? And when you think about that, you think of something big. But, but what we advise our listeners to do is there are small things that we can do. Like if you know somebody that's an independent, that's the most helpful person to talk to. Somebody who's voted both ways, maybe out of the three times they voted for Trump, a couple of times. So that's the most helpful person to talk to. And I think about, you need to make the case for humanity and humanizing people. Because what we were talking about before you came on is the MAGA movement. At first they're like, okay, we want to deport people, right? And so they want to deny them due process, all of that, set all of that aside. But now that's not enough anymore. Now they want them eaten by alligators. So we have to be allies with our brothers and sisters of color and that maybe don't speak English as their first language to humanize them, to say, these people are human beings, they're not criminals and they, they're escaping violent, you know, dictatorships to come here to work, to do the work that your fat ass won't do. And so let's help these people and support these people. And we need to start painting a picture of humanity and defending humanity. And that can be done on a person to person level, I think more effectively than the large picture of, you know, a big giant organized march, which is also helpful.
E. Jean Carroll
I like the idea of giving our fellow humans dignity.
Angie
Right?
E. Jean Carroll
Dignity. They crave it. That's why he's so attractive. Because they feel like they belong to this culture. Right. If we give them the dignity of recognizing that they're valuable human beings. I think you're onto something. I think that is psychologically the key, not giving them facts because they can't Hear facts. You realize that half the country does not know that Donald Trump was held liable for sexual assault. Half the country does not know that. Half the country does not know he has to pay me $83.3 million. They don't know it. It's not their fault. They do not know it because we have, you know, the Berlin Wall in this country with, you know, the Trumpers here and the. Okay. They just. Their Facebook feed doesn't tell them. They don't listen to your podcast. You know, they don't read the Times, and they just. So it's up to us. And they won't listen to facts. They just won't believe it. So dignity. I like your idea. We treat them like human beings and we give them a place to belong because they need to belong, because things aren't so good right now, and they're feeling that. So if we do that, I think we're on the way back. I think that small step is brilliant. Yes, I agree.
Jennifer
Can you share any? During the lawsuit, were you ever in the court with him or. No. Did he just send lawyers?
E. Jean Carroll
No, no, no, no. My book, Not My Type, is about the two trials against Donald Trump. It's about how an old lady, 81 years old, beat Donald Trump. And if I can beat Donald Trump, anybody can beat Donald Trump. No, the. The book is a high comedy, so.
Jennifer
We'Ve got to get it.
E. Jean Carroll
No, it is a high comedy. I was surrounded by characters that Jonathan Swift himself could not have created. And so, of course, he was. In the courtroom. We were sitting so close that if I reached back like this and leaned, I could have grabbed him by the hair. I wish it would have. I wish. Up. Listen. We did worse, though. I did much worse than grabbing him by the hair. But it was. I could hear everything he was saying. He was belittling his defense attorney. Alina Haba, Esquire.
Angie
She is the worst.
E. Jean Carroll
Oh, she's beautiful, though. She is beautiful. She's beautiful. And I hate to tell you, Angie Pumps, if I may.
Angie
Yes.
E. Jean Carroll
She is wildly intelligent. She just didn't know diddly squat about the court. She just didn't know. But don't underestimate Alina Haba, Esquire. She has cheekbones like tulip bulbs. She has eyes like a baby seal she wore in court, a diamond as big as a Ritz cracker. And Trump would sit at that defense table with her and belittle her.
Jennifer
Wow.
E. Jean Carroll
And say hiss and spit and moan and groan at her. He'd say, stand up. Stand up. Of course she's standing up. She doesn't even know why she's standing up. And my attorney, Robby Kaplan, everybody stand up and salute.
Angie
Yeah, she's amazing.
E. Jean Carroll
Along with Angie, one of the great legal minds of the generation.
Jennifer
That's correct.
Angie
We cannot compare those two, for sure.
E. Jean Carroll
So we were stunned that she. She defended him as brilliantly she. As she could. The jury was mesmerized by her voice. Oh, she has a magnificent voice. It's very loud and terrifically arrogant. One of the things was, she tried to convince the jury that I accused Donald Trump of sexual assault because, get this. I wanted to be famous for telling the world that Donald. I was so dumb as to let Donald Trump sexually assault me. That was her thing. And so one of her main arguments was penis tweets. She found tweets that I wrote. I was an advice columnist for Elle for 27 years.
Angie
When this one went down, you were the one in the public eye. He was just clawing to the top.
E. Jean Carroll
Well, but she used those tweets where I was advising readers about occasionally a penis. And she would get up and she would apologize. She'd stand up, she'd say, I apologize, ladies and gentlemen. I apologize. I'm deeply embarrassed. I have to do. And then she'd introduce a penis tweet. So that's Alina Haba, Esquire.
Jennifer
I love the occasional penis advice.
Angie
You gotta have it.
E. Jean Carroll
We all need it, right?
Angie
We all need it.
Jennifer
Oh, I can't. So is your book already out?
E. Jean Carroll
Girl, where have you been? It's number two on the bestseller list.
Jennifer
Okay. I'm getting it immediately after this. You know, I just get so knee deep in this news cycle, Eugene, and, you know, I'm just.
E. Jean Carroll
Do not worry about it. Do not. It's also number one in audiobooks for women.
Jennifer
I'm leaving. I'm leaving town at the end of this week, and that's going to be my summer vacation book. I can't wait. Okay, wait a minute.
E. Jean Carroll
I heard you on break talking about the kids being home, and Angie actually said the phrase, it's like breastfeeding 24 hours a day.
Angie
And my kid. My kids are adults.
E. Jean Carroll
I know.
Jennifer
Really, E. She had this mothering over mothering. It was. It. It was something to behold. Her children. And people think we're. We're joking about this. She made her children drink out of sippy cups until they were 16 and 17 years old.
Angie
16 was the oldest because they spilled water. And I just was like, I can't clean up spills all the time. Yeah, 16 was the oldest, though, it didn't go into 17. Not that that's better. Not. I'm not saying that's better.
E. Jean Carroll
Oh, my God. And you're a divorce attorney.
Jennifer
Yeah. And I mean, the original we call. We like to call Donald Trump a titty baby because, you know, he's just always whining, complaining. 60 minutes is mean to me. Fox News is mean to me. CNN is mean.
Angie
Oh, everybody's mean.
Jennifer
It's just this non stop titty baby.
E. Jean Carroll
Oh, he would come out during the trial. He would be in the courtroom after the trial. He'd always go and talk to the press, right? And one time he stood there and said, I'm the one who's been damaged. I'm the one who's been hurt. I should get the money. I deserve the money. He looked like St. Sebastian tied to a tree with arrows shot through it. It was. That's what he actually thought. That's what the complaining, the bitching, the coney.
Angie
I don't know why people don't get tired of it. They just don't get tired of him crying and whining all the time.
Jennifer
The greatest hits. Russian, Russian, Russian. Which I'm just like, shut the fuck up with your whining and complaining. It's bad enough when a toddler does it, but at least our brains compute. They're a toddler. They don't know better. You're a grown ass man. Shut the fuck up with the complaining. And I guess he's like the weak man's idea of a strong man.
E. Jean Carroll
Very strong.
Jennifer
They just jump on this grievance train. Oh, to me, it's so off putting.
E. Jean Carroll
Yeah.
Jennifer
Hearing somebody complain all the time.
E. Jean Carroll
No, no, he's a strong man. He's. When we were doing jury selection, we did mock juries before the trial. We held a trial before the trial, before mock jurors. And we discovered that the men love a strong man. We also discovered that all the mockers agreed that, yes, a sexual assault could happen in Bergdorf in 1996. And yes, one of those people would be Donald Trump, and one would be E. Jean Carol in 1996 in a Bergdorf dressing room. But there was one thing they all disagreed on. They all thought that I was begging him for it.
Jennifer
See, I think this is really telling because I think this is the way why he gets away with so much impunity, because he unlocks the worst impulses of men. And then, yes, he unlocks the worst impulses. And a lot of men think, oh, everybody wants to have sex with Me, I'm so great. You know, the delusions of grandeur. Then you have the women that suffer from internalized misogyny that support this type of thing. But he unlocks everybody's worst impulses. And I've never in my life seen a person that once he impacts their life, they become worse human beings. Like, look at Marco Rubio. He was a right winger and a Republican, but now he's like, you know, just a horrible person. I never thought Ted Cruz could be any more worthless or any less than he is, but Donald Trump made him even more so. Eugene, it's unbelievable.
E. Jean Carroll
We love. We changed. We changed our argument totally. After the trial, mock jury, we. Robbie was going to present the case. She chose our strongest, most macho male lawyer to present our case. And we had seven men on our jury. Seven. It was the women all, believe me, the men, like. So that we chose Mike Farrar, the Duke of Ferrara, who was so manly and so wonderful. Well, we ended up winning, so, you know it.
Angie
Two times.
Jennifer
Oh, hello.
E. Jean Carroll
I'm so glad you reminded me that. So the strong man. The strong man. We want a strong man as a leader. We want. I guess it's inside of us. I guess it's an atavistic thing. I. You know, everybody loves a strong man. I don't know how we fight this, except you are just shutting him down. Jennifer, a few minutes ago with your you've had it thing on Trump. If we would all just go outside and say that, you know, 10 times a day, maybe we could get something done.
Jennifer
Yeah, I do. I think on a personal level, if you're around a Trump or say, God, he's such a whining baby. I've never heard cry so much.
E. Jean Carroll
No, wait, that. This is an idea. Why don't we all say what you just said and we'll just say it at certain times of day. We all go out at a certain time, we all scream it and then go in the house.
Jennifer
That is a great idea. And we could do the exact same post, you know, because a lot of people don't leave their house. They're just on their phone all the time. We all did a coordinated attack via social media because we all know he can't get his phone out of his pocket because he's bored to tell.
E. Jean Carroll
Let's do this.
Jennifer
Yes, everybody posted exactly this time. Donald Trump is a whining titty baby. All he does is.
E. Jean Carroll
Okay, do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. I think you should. Angie and Jennifer, you should step and lead this.
Jennifer
We will. We'll organize it.
E. Jean Carroll
It's like banging the pans during the pandemic.
Jennifer
I think it would get everybody some hope and feel a sense of unity. Okay, guys. When Pumps and I started this podcast, it seemed like we had to figure out everything on our own. Scripts, show lineup, setting, filming schedule, logos. It was so overwhelming. Every day seemed to introduce a new decision that needed an answer that Pumps and I had no answer for. So we had to find the right tool that helped us. And what helped us was Shopify. They simplify everything and it is such a game changer for millions of businesses. And Shopify is our absolute favorite partner and we would be nothing without them. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all E commerce in the United States. From household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands just getting started. If you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify. Listener, Turn your big business idea into With Shopify on your side, sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today@shopify.com had it. Go to shopify.com had it. Again, that's shopify.com had it. Listener I don't know about you, but as soon as the temperature starts rising, I'm ready to swap out anything bulky and uncomfortable in my wardrobe. And I start immediately with bras. And I have to tell you, I have found the best bra Love. It is called the Silhouette bra. It's all about staying cool, comfortable, and I feel so supported. And Honey loves innovation with their bras. Typically, when I get home from work or playing tennis, I cannot rip off my bra fast enough. I've been noticing since I've been wearing the Silhouette bra from Honey Love. I get home and then when I go to take a shower or put on my pajamas, I'm like, oh my God, my bra's been on for like three hours. That's how comfortable these bras are. And Honey Love isn't just about bras. They've got shapewear, tanks and leggings that are just as comfortable and supportive. Honey Love's best selling super power short is a must have. It has targeted compression technology that distinguishes between areas where you want more support and areas that you need less compression. Plus, the best part is it won't ever roll up or down thanks to flexible boning hidden in the seams. Listener, treat yourself to the most comfortable and innovative bras on earth and save 20% off site wide@honeylove.com had it use our exclusive link to get 20% off honeylove.com hatit. After you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. Experience the new standard in bras with Honeylove. Some might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. Could it be because it has a a sleek spam free site or the most in depth school info? Homes.com knows every parent wants the best for their kids. So they're the only ones with school and district details and reviews from multiple sources, including niche. It may be homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory. Or Maybe it's that homes.com is the only site that that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home best. Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most in depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site that's extensively researched. To highlight the personality of each neighborhood, Homes.com has 22 data visualization layers, seven environmental layers, and allows you to search by commute and architectural factors. It's the home search you've been searching for. Go to homes.com today for home shopping the way it should be. Homes.com we've done your homework. Okay, Eugene, we're going to move on to our mega hit game. It's called had it or Hit it. Oh, my God. Welcome to had it or Hit it. I would hit it.
Angie
Had it.
Jennifer
Had it. I hit it every day. Sometimes twice a day. Okay. Had it or Hit it. Dick pics.
E. Jean Carroll
Girl, you know, if I wanted a dick pic, I would like to receive a dick pic. But it's like the cat bringing in a dead rat and dropping it right in your lap. So I've had her with Dick pig. Had it.
Angie
I mean, what's amazing to me is I. I have gotten just a very few in my life, and then I've had friends send me theirs and I'm.
E. Jean Carroll
Just like, what the did they think.
Angie
That your response is like, oh, baby, I want to come ride it? I mean, like, it's so shocking.
Jennifer
Wait, hold up. You've received dick pics?
Angie
Yes. Just one.
Jennifer
What?
Angie
It was on Instagram. Like a direct message.
Jennifer
What? Somebody's dming you dick pics on Instagram.
Angie
A long time ago when I first got an Instagram, I don't even know who it was. Like, somebody I knew. It was just like a rando.
E. Jean Carroll
No, that's right. Random dick pics. That's right.
Angie
It was just like so terrified. But then I have a girlfriend that gets them all the time. And she'll send him. And we're all just like. She'll send him in a group text with no warning. And we're just all like, Jesus Christ, why did you put this in here?
E. Jean Carroll
Well, we know why men send them because they think that women are wired like they are. Men think they would like to get a picture of our breasts. So what we'll do is here's a gift. I'll give you this and then you'll give me a picture of your vagina. That's how they think. They just if it. You know, what if they sent us a dick pic of a dick we know and that we have warm feelings towards? That would be a nice dick pic, but not a random like Angie received. Not a rando.
Angie
No. So terrifying.
Jennifer
Okay. Had it or hit it? Aphrodite.
E. Jean Carroll
Oh.
Jennifer
Love it.
E. Jean Carroll
Hit it. Aphrodite is the name of my shotgun, which I. Uh huh. Yep. Somebody did their research. Yeah. Yeah. Old Aphrodite sits by my bed. That's what I do. Yeah.
Jennifer
Do you target practice or anything with your shotgun for kicks?
E. Jean Carroll
Well, I. I haven't recently, but I have, of course, because I have to know how to shoot. Right.
Angie
Because they were coming after you like crazy. I mean, it was terrifying.
E. Jean Carroll
Yeah. Hence Aphrodite.
Jennifer
Okay. Had it or hit it? Revenge.
E. Jean Carroll
Well, I think we've got a. I think we gotta hit it. I think we gotta hit it because I think this is the last stand. It's being torn apart at the seams. Our country.
Jennifer
Yes.
E. Jean Carroll
Now are we going to sit still for that? No. We have to have a little bit of iron in our guts. And what gives that feeling? Revenge.
Jennifer
I agree. Okay. Had it or hit it? Cheerleading.
E. Jean Carroll
Oh, can't you tell? Look at me, I'm sitting on a ball right now. Oh, you are.
Jennifer
Keep your.
Angie
Your core all tight.
Jennifer
Wait, pump the brakes. Throughout the filming of this whole podcast, you've been doing a cord exercise.
E. Jean Carroll
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm doing this, lady. I'm doing this. That's what I'm doing. I'm doing.
Angie
That's impressive. Een. That's impressive. I don't have great core strength, but that. I'm impressed.
E. Jean Carroll
No. And also it gives the energy. It gives the energy. Yes, yes. I love cheer. I was. Get ready to fall and bend to me. Ms. Cheerleader USA.
Angie
Oh my gosh.
E. Jean Carroll
Royalty. Ladies.
Jennifer
Ready? Okay. I mean, wow. You know, 1964, a trailblazer at that, you know, pumps. Here was all American cheerleader. Her cheerleading camp and had a hyperextended.
Angie
Did toe touch back in the day.
Jennifer
Back in the 80s.
Angie
Yeah, the 80s.
Jennifer
Wait a minute.
E. Jean Carroll
I, I Angie. What? This is the.
Angie
I knew we were bonded. Eene. I knew it, I knew it. I knew it.
E. Jean Carroll
You can do the tote now. Which one? We Back.
Angie
Back in the day, we called him, I think Russian. A Russian?
E. Jean Carroll
Yeah, we call him Russian. And then there was the tiger with the hands behind you. Touch your legs behind you when you do the C jump.
Angie
Yeah. No, I never did that.
Jennifer
What about a Herky?
Angie
Did you do a herky where once.
E. Jean Carroll
A Herky Herky came to our cheerleading thing?
Jennifer
Herky. Herkimer. Wasn't that Herkimer?
Angie
Yes, Herkimer did not know that was real.
Jennifer
Yeah, that was. That's why it's called the Herky, because the guy that invented it, I think his name was like, Herbie Herkimer or Herky or something like this.
E. Jean Carroll
Yeah, he's from my era. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that is. Yeah, it was. The contest was down in Cypress Garden Gardens, Florida. And part of the Miss Cheerleader USA contest was. We modeled. Are you ready for this? Southern gowns.
Jennifer
Shut up. So it was a pageant where you did cheerleading and then models.
Angie
Yes. Love it.
Jennifer
That is some drag queen shit right there. I mean, that is straight up drag show. I'm here. Here for it.
E. Jean Carroll
I won that, man.
Jennifer
Oh, I bet she did.
Angie
She wasn't around. She went down there, she got took.
E. Jean Carroll
Names, kicked ass, and we water skied, we watered. That was another thing.
Angie
In the competition.
E. Jean Carroll
Yeah. No, not in the competition, but part of the, you know, thing they got.
Jennifer
Let me ask you this. The water skiing, were you doing, like, a pyramid?
E. Jean Carroll
Like, well, that would be the thing, but, you know, half of us could barely get up on the ski, so that we did that. But they. What? Yeah, the water skiing was part of the. Of the pageant. It was brilliant.
Angie
Oh, my gosh. That's hilarious.
Jennifer
I love it.
E. Jean Carroll
I got a big scholarship.
Jennifer
Oh, wonderful. Excellent.
E. Jean Carroll
Yeah. No, and it was the first national championship that Indiana University had ever won. So I was like, you were hot.
Jennifer
You were a big. On campus.
E. Jean Carroll
Yeah. Oh, you have no idea. I'm walking around there.
Angie
Hbic.
E. Jean Carroll
Yep, that's it. Oh, I love it.
Jennifer
Okay. Had it or hit it. Jeff Bezos.
E. Jean Carroll
Boy, I am divided on Jeff Bezos because he's done so much good. He's put books in the hands of so many people who'd never read before. I mean, your book has been an Amazon bestseller. Your latest has been an Amazon bestseller. And so it's providing you with Income so you can feed your families. So. And she can breastfeed 24 hours a day. No, I'm just. I'm upset about his dark term.
Angie
Yeah.
E. Jean Carroll
Yes. I'm just very upset about. It makes no sense. I just. I mean, Laura Sanchez's boobs make more sense than just Jeff Bezos turning dark.
Jennifer
Here's the thing, Eugene. This goes back to my point when you were talking about the male jurors. Something about Trump unlocks the worst impulses and people.
E. Jean Carroll
Yes.
Jennifer
Jeff Bezos.
E. Jean Carroll
What?
Jennifer
What does he have two, $300 billion.
E. Jean Carroll
Yeah.
Jennifer
Gives a he. Let's say he pays $20 million more a year in taxes. It's not gonna affect Jack in his life. But something about proximity and interacting with Trump makes people worse. And. Or his supporters, the more they justify and excuse the titty baby, the whining, the immoral up shit this man does, the worse they become. I've never seen anything like it.
E. Jean Carroll
I haven't either.
Jennifer
Jeff Bezos, think about it. You could leave your thumbprint on this globe. As I was a billionaire and I did all of these things, but I decided to pay my employees more than anybody else and change the way we.
E. Jean Carroll
Wouldn't that be wonderful?
Jennifer
But no, like Elon Musk, him, they call him now maga. Mark Zuckerberg, Think about this. Mark Zuckerberg, gajillionaire, goes on Joe Rogan. I'll never get over this. I talk about it all the time. And he says, I'm just so relieved that Trump is back, back in power because I feel like men have been neutered in the workplace. And I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? You neutered? Are you kidding me? The whole system is set up for you to just walk into it. It's crazy how much worse people become after interacting or he said that.
E. Jean Carroll
Yes.
Jennifer
Mark Zuckerberg neutered.
E. Jean Carroll
Wow. This is why we're. Listen, you know that $83.3 million that I'm being given by Trump plus interest. Plus interest. I'm going to be giving it to help women get our rights back. That's where that 83.3 million is going. You know, that's it. I don't need the money. You know, that is. That is not right. I just stunned that Mark Zuckerberg said that. That his reality is so warped.
Angie
Right?
Jennifer
Totally.
Angie
That's the thing.
Jennifer
But then juxtapose. We were talking about Jeff Bezos. Juxtaposed Jeff Bezos with his ex wife, Mackenzie.
E. Jean Carroll
Salute.
Jennifer
She's donating money, left And Right. You know what she's donating to? A lot of philanthropists don't donate to this. She's donating to social justice causes. She's.
E. Jean Carroll
Yes, yes, yes.
Jennifer
And if you look at the money that she's giving and she's quietly doing it right, she's not out in the news having written out the city of Venice having some circle jerk of a wedding. That's just obscene. She's quietly donating. And then you look at Melinda Gates and then you look at the ex wife or the widow of Steve Jobs.
Angie
And I can't remember her name.
E. Jean Carroll
Yeah.
Jennifer
She owns the Atlantic, and she's making sure journalism goes out. And so here, now we add Eugene Carroll to this list of boss bitch philanthropists that are putting their money where their mouth is and donating to the causes that really lift us all up. And I love you for that so much.
E. Jean Carroll
Thank you. Oh, thank you, Jennifer. Because you know what we've got. I've got everything I need. I don't need it anymore. What's. What do you. We don't need more stuff. Yeah, but women need us. We've lost half our rights in the South.
Angie
I live there.
E. Jean Carroll
Yeah. Oh, that's right. You're in a red state.
Jennifer
Yeah.
E. Jean Carroll
Oh, what are abortion rights? Where. How are they doing in Oklahoma?
Jennifer
There's none.
Angie
None. Zero.
E. Jean Carroll
Oh, are you at the 13 week, the 12 week, or.
Angie
None.
Jennifer
No exceptions.
Angie
No exceptions. Not rape, not into incest, nothing.
E. Jean Carroll
We got to turn that around. This. We've got. No, this is not. How. How far do the women in Oklahoma have to travel? Well, Oklahoma's big state.
Jennifer
It's a big state, so they have to travel to either, like New Mexico, Colorado, or Kansas. But here's. What's so tragic about these laws is they're not an attack on. Angie has a daughter. I have two sons. She has a couple sons, too. But out of the two of us, there's only one daughter. If her daughter has pregnancy or something that she would need to have, seek care or for whatever her own personal reasons, Angie's gonna buy her plane ticket and she's gonna fly her somewhere, and she's gonna receive the care she needs. So this isn't. It's not just an attack on women, it's an attack on poor women. And when you think about what MAGA.
E. Jean Carroll
Christian values I've heard you do, oh, this is your thing.
Jennifer
These MAGA Christians, Eugene, these MAGA Christians, it is an attack on the marginalized and the cruelty. And I'm not religious, and I don't know why my atheist parents raised me in the bubble belt, but nonetheless, they did. But these MAGA Christians are so antithetical to the central character of the. Of the Bible, who was. He spoke out against the accumulation of wealth. He spoke for lifting people out of poverty. He spoke for helping the sick, helping the needy. And then you look at the. That dipshit Moses, Mike Johnson, the most religious speaker of the House we've ever had, and he votes for that abomination of a bill, which is. This whole MAGA movement is an attack on the poor. And if I were a Christian, I would be so furious at these MAGA Christians for.
E. Jean Carroll
But they don't know it, Jennifer. They do not know it. It's not their fault. They. They're in their news bubble and nobody can get through. That's why, as you say, as you saw, the facts are not get through. Treating them with dignity and then offering them a way out of this cult where we see them will help. So your first idea, that's what we do. Because it's happening all over the world. You know that.
Jennifer
Yeah, no, no, it's happening everywhere. But there's also been, surprisingly, and this has given me some hope, there's also been. Ever since this acceleration of Trump's second term, there's also been a Trump backlash globally, where countries that were heading kind of towards an authoritarian. Those authoritarian wannabes are losing. So I'm hopeful that we can find the humanity that connects us all, because it's just, you know, it's so crazy to watch. I talked about this earlier. We were filming, you know, you go about your life and you hear a song that you like and you're kind of dancing in your car or something. You're throwing a ball with your dog, and then it hits you like. Like Alligator Alcatraz. Like, oh, what, we're doing that?
E. Jean Carroll
Like, yeah. No.
Jennifer
And then it hits you. And then it's this really weird slow march into fascism and authoritarian authoritarianism. Because so much of my life can feel the same. And I'm doing the same thing.
E. Jean Carroll
It is the same. It. Your life is the same. Right? Meanwhile, in la, they're dragging fathers who are hardworking away from their children. The guys are wearing masks and they've got bulletproof vests on. We don't know who they are. They come in and drag fathers away. Then they drag the mother away. The kids are left with nobody. It's on. And we're not. Everybody in the United States is not out marching. I'm really. God, are we fucking Lazy. I'm telling you, we've got our phones and we got our entertainment. We're watching Netflix, and we won't go out because his father is being dragged out. You know, we just put it out of our. We got. No, it's. Something's the matter with Americans. We're. We're been entertained into hip. We're hypnotized. We just don't stand up anymore. I. You know, it's just amazing. I mean, really.
Jennifer
Okay, your very last one. Had it or hit it. The United States of America.
E. Jean Carroll
Oh, my favorite country. Oh, I love the US And I wish her well. She's under attack.
Jennifer
That's true. I agree.
E. Jean Carroll
But here's the thing. I am an old lady and I beat Donald Trump twice. There is hope. There is hope.
Jennifer
I completely agree with you, Eugene. This has been one of my favorite podcasts we've ever.
E. Jean Carroll
Me, too.
Jennifer
I just adore you and am just so in awe of your bravery and your positivity and just the overall energy you get put out into the world. And thank you for going down a little bit of a cynical track with us.
E. Jean Carroll
I don't know if I can get my old self back now. He'd be such a bad influence sense. I have to go find the old Eugene.
Angie
I don't know. We need her. We need her.
E. Jean Carroll
I don't know, Angie, what are we gonna do? The dog is staring at me like, who are you?
Jennifer
Who's this? EG, thank you so much. And listener, you can go get her book. Not my type, which I'm going to do immediately after recording. Thank you so much. And we'll be in touch to coordinate our.
E. Jean Carroll
Yes. No. Really?
Jennifer
Protest. Yes.
Angie
Yes.
E. Jean Carroll
Got to do. That's what we're going to do.
Jennifer
We're going to do it.
E. Jean Carroll
Brilliant.
Jennifer
We can start it. Why not?
Angie
Why not us?
E. Jean Carroll
What? What else have we got to do?
Jennifer
That's right. All right. Have a great, great week, and we love you.
Angie
Thanks, EG I loved having you. Bye.
E. Jean Carroll
I loved it.
Jennifer
Goodbye. L, O, V E, exclamation points, bold print, underline, italicized.
Angie
Okay, here's the thing. She was the big deal during the time that Donald Trump sexually assaulted her. She had a column, Ask Eugene. It was like putting I remember Dear Abby to shame. I mean, it was like the cool Carrie Bradshaw column. Like, she was able to talk about penises and stuff. She's smart, she's funny, she's a badass. Fucking looks fantastic.
Jennifer
81.
Angie
I think she's 82 now.
Jennifer
She is so attractive. She's I mean, and then what about that razor sharp. And she did the whole thing on a exercise ball.
Angie
That's unbelievable.
Jennifer
And then just throws out funny lines like I give occasional penis advice. I was about to fall over in my chair. It was just so dry and the way it was, you know, as one needs to sometimes it's occasional penis device. All right, listener. Speaking of books, not only get. Get e. Jean's book, get ours. She was so sweet to have researched that. Life is a lazy Susan of sandwiches. Pumps.
Angie
Tell them we will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. I'll tell you what I've had it with.
Jennifer
Let's hear it. I've had it with that. Listen up patriots, Gates and Natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called I hip News. It's Monday through Friday. Every day, 15 to 20 minute high hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America. Always served with a side of petty grievances.
Angie
We are on all the available platforms. Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.
Jennifer
Please go, rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind. Pumps. Pumps. What does an eagle say? Caca. A little bit more in the enthusiasm. That's it. That's, that's, that's the patriotism that this country needs right there.
E. Jean Carroll
Packages by Expedia.
Jennifer
You were made to be rechargeable. We were made to package flights, hotels and hammocks for less. Expedia made to travel.
Podcast Summary: "Revenge is Best Served Publicly with E. Jean Carroll"
Podcast Information:
The episode kicks off with Jennifer and Angie diving into everyday annoyances that have pushed them to their limits. Their primary focus centers around the inefficiencies encountered in public spaces, particularly emphasizing the frustrations women face due to public restroom fixtures and the general slow pace of others in public settings.
Notable Quotes:
Jennifer and Angie express their exasperation with individuals who slow down public processes, especially in places like grocery stores and restaurants. They discuss instances where a single slow-moving person can derail their efficient routines, leading to feelings of irrational anger and a desire for personal space.
Notable Quotes:
The hosts share personal stories illustrating their battles with inefficient people. They recount moments at the car wash, drive-thrus, and public registers where delays have triggered their frustration. These anecdotes highlight the broader theme of societal impatience and the increasing gap between different personal efficiency levels.
Notable Quotes:
Kiki (Kylie) joins the conversation, sharing reviews from listeners who appreciate the podcast's candid take on daily frustrations. The reviews praise the show for making news digestible and providing relatable content that alleviates the soul-crushing aspects of their workdays.
Notable Quotes:
The highlight of the episode features a guest appearance by E. Jean Carroll, a renowned journalist and author. Carroll shares her experiences battling former President Donald Trump in court, providing an insightful and humorous take on her trials. Her presence adds depth to the discussion on accountability and the repercussions of malicious actions.
Notable Quotes:
A significant portion of the discussion revolves around the detrimental effects of Donald Trump's leadership and the MAGA movement. The hosts and Carroll delve into topics like authoritarianism, the erosion of women's rights, and the societal divide exacerbated by Trump's rhetoric and policies. They emphasize the need for collective action and personal responsibility in combating these issues.
Notable Quotes:
Building on their frustrations and the political climate, Jennifer and Angie advocate for grassroots activism. They discuss practical steps listeners can take to foster change, such as humanizing marginalized communities and engaging in personal-level conversations to bridge the societal divide. Carroll underscores the importance of giving back dignity and support to those affected by oppressive systems.
Notable Quotes:
The hosts introduce a playful game segment titled "Had It or Hit It," where guests and hosts respond to various prompts with either frustration ("Had It") or action ("Hit It"). This segment adds a lighthearted break from the intense discussions, showcasing the hosts' chemistry and humor.
Notable Quotes:
Wrapping up the episode, Jennifer and Angie promote their book, Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches, encouraging listeners to engage with their content beyond the podcast. They also highlight ongoing activism efforts and express gratitude towards E. Jean Carroll for her participation and insights.
Notable Quotes:
Final Thoughts:
In this engaging episode, Jennifer Welch and Angie Sullivan candidly discuss everyday inefficiencies and broader societal frustrations, enriched by E. Jean Carroll's compelling insights and experiences. The blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and serious discourse offers listeners a comprehensive look into the challenges of navigating a complex social and political landscape.