Rock Hard Denial

Summary

Podcast Summary: "I've Had It" — Rock Hard Denial (March 26, 2026)

Overview

In this episode of "I've Had It," hosts Jennifer Welch and Angie "Pumps" Sullivan tackle the theme of willful denial—personally, culturally, and politically. With their signature candid and comedic tone, they share pet peeves, personal anecdotes, listener grievances, and sharp critiques of American political hypocrisy, religion, and the illusion of family perfection. Topics include setting boundaries, family dynamics, religious hypocrisy, coping with addiction, viral news stories, and standing up against political and social denial (especially in white suburban and evangelical spaces).

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting Boundaries and Phone Etiquette (01:35–06:02)

• Pet Peeve: Pumps expresses her frustration with people who refuse to end phone conversations—especially those who always have "one more thing."

"Not one more thing. I said I had to go. That drives me insane. I think it's controlling." (Pumps, 01:44)

• Jennifer admits to sometimes doing this to Pumps but differentiates between completing a conversation and being a "phone lollygagger."
• Jennifer's husband, Josh, is called out as a classic "phone user," who keeps her on the phone for his own entertainment during drives.
• Both discuss the importance of directness and practicing closing language:

"If you can't tell your family and your friends that [you need to end a call], then who can you tell?" (Jennifer, 05:07)

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2. Jackhammer Annoyance & Regional Differences (06:04–08:09)

• Jennifer vents about ongoing jackhammering outside her apartment in NYC, comparing the efficiency of NYC construction to the slower, excuse-filled pace in Oklahoma.
• They note the endurance and resilience required to endure relentless urban noise, and transition into how small-talk can become torture—especially when it involves unsolicited medical details.

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3. Hypochondria & Addiction (07:49–10:29)

• Pumps and Jennifer theorize that hypochondria often correlates with addiction recovery, proposing that self-absorption shifts from substance use to other anxieties in sobriety.

"I’m going to go ahead and make the hypothesis now as I always do: hypochondria is a common symptom of sobriety." (Jennifer, 08:09)

• Kylie, their producer, quickly Googles to find that people with hypochondria do often have addiction issues.

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4. Reviews & Listener Praise (10:29–11:56)

• Kylie reads out rave reviews, with listeners loving the podcast's candid style and Jennifer’s and Pumps's "good trouble."

"Not for the sensitive or the titty babies or the easily offended." (Listener JB, 10:37)

• Listeners praise Pump’s evolution and her standing up to her mother.

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5. Religious Upbringing, Family Control & Denial (12:13–19:30)

• Pumps reflects on breaking free from her mother's "iron fist" control, her lifelong terror, and the generational nature of denial.
• Jennifer recounts the wild hypocrisy of Pumps’s religious ex-husband—host of Bible studies as well as notorious "sex-fueled golf tournaments"—highlighting the willful ignorance and denial embedded in their family and community culture.

"You only believe what you want to believe and then you deny the existence of the rest." (Pumps, 18:39)

• The conversation underscores the damaging effects of maintaining appearances (veneer of a perfect family) at the cost of honesty and mental health.

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6. Critique of Suburban, Evangelical Hypocrisy (19:42–24:55)

• Jennifer and Pumps dissect the facades maintained in white suburban, evangelical circles—projecting image over substance, even as family realities are deeply dysfunctional.

"Behind every single one of these doors are just secrets." (Jennifer, 22:48)

• The value of “judgment-free zones” is discussed: personal growth from embracing authenticity is contrasted against the suffocating effects of public performance.

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7. Religion in Politics & Forced Faith (24:57–26:00)

• Jennifer denounces the encroachment of Christian nationalism and forced religion in public life, promoting the Freedom from Religion Foundation as a vital defender of church-state separation:

"I've had it with politicians pretending the Constitution is optional when it comes to church and state." (Jennifer, 24:57)

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8. Viral Animal Story: "Big Fat" the Corgi (26:00–31:31)

• Kylie shares a uplifting news story: Seven dogs in China, led by a corgi named “Big Fat,” escape dog thieves and travel 17km home, with the corgi caring for an injured German shepherd.
• Jennifer and Pumps humorously wonder, “Who is America’s corgi?”—lamenting the absence of selfless, compassionate leaders.

"Big Fat takes care of the injured and the sick. And he doesn’t have little man syndrome..." (Jennifer, 29:24)

• They playfully nominate Jennifer as the “big, fat corgi” who will rally the nation.

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9. Bizarre News: A Limbless Cornhole Player Charged with Murder (31:33–36:31)

• The team reacts to a viral story where a limbless professional cornhole player in the US is accused of killing someone—despite the apparent impossibility.
• Jennifer reflects on America’s gun obsession:

"Even people with no arms and no legs can kill people with guns. That’s how fucked up America is." (Jennifer, 33:12)

• Conversation shifts to road rage and honking etiquette, with Pumps realizing she may be the problem after multiple incidents.

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10. Voice Memos & Listener Grievances (36:46–46:12)

a. Molly from DC: Building Elevator Etiquette (36:49–39:18)

• Molly rants about neighbors using the elevator for one or two floors instead of taking the stairs. Jennifer and Pumps agree, citing personal embarrassment for not walking a single floor.

b. Bathroom Etiquette & Passive-Aggressive Signage (39:18–46:12)

• Jennifer shares a story about obsessive bathroom signage in an LA office, speculating about the emotional journey that leads someone to plaster instructions everywhere.
• Both sympathize with the sign-poster, surmising she is "an abuse victim" pushed to her limits.

"This woman is a hero. She made sure there's no way that somebody could walk out of that restroom and say, 'I didn't see the sign.'" (Jennifer, 41:20)

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11. Voice Memo: Alex from Nashville on Suppressed Republican Politicians (46:50–51:42)

• Alex, a self-identified "Gaytriot," complains about Tennessee’s repressive, sexually-obsessed MAGA congressmen and the state’s regressive laws.
• Jennifer rails against the way right-wing politicians fixate on sex, particularly LGBTQ+ issues, projecting their own “demons” and cruelty:

"The obsession that people in red states have with sex is so weird. I’ll never quit talking about it." (Jennifer, 48:00) "The appetite for cruelty in these people is insatiable until the cruelty affects them or somebody that's genetically connected to them." (Jennifer, 51:20)

• Both decry the rollback of civil rights and hypocrisy of Republican "family values."

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12. Drawing Boundaries with MAGA/Trump Supporters (54:11–64:07)

• Jennifer distinguishes between wishing people well and refusing to offer social acceptance or an "off-ramp" back into her social circle for Trumpers and evangelical MAGA followers.

"I do not want these people to suffer. However, I do not want them to play in my fucking sandbox..." (Jennifer, 55:22)

• Pumps reflects on her own journey out of that culture, still advocating for repentance and acts aligning with changed views.
• The group jokes about establishing a “Corgi Court” to judge whether former MAGA supporters deserve a second chance, but all agree circles get smaller with personal growth.

"The healthier you get, the smaller your circle becomes." (Jennifer, 63:10)

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13. Final Reflections: Authenticity Over Acceptance

• Jennifer connects her resolve to past experiences with evangelical hypocrisy and loyalty to her friends in LGBTQ+ spaces:

"Radical acceptance, radical empathy... So when I see these people doing it, picking on gay people, it makes me mad. And I’m just, I’m a big, fat corgi." (Jennifer, 60:50)

• The corgi motif continues, morphing into a badge of honor for those willing to lead with compassion.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Phone Boundaries
  "I need for this phone call to end right now. I’m speaking from the eye and from my needs. Ask your therapist about that."
  — Jennifer Welch (05:07)

• On Willful Denial
  "That doesn’t make it not happen. Like, it genuinely. Like that doesn’t mean that he’s not. And so... This is willful denial."
  — Jennifer Welch (17:51)

• On Hypocrisy in Suburban Mega Churches
  "I think that mega church culture, white upper middle class, mega church culture is a really specific broken culture."
  — Jennifer Welch (23:20)

• On the Corgi-Led Dog Escape
  "Big Fat takes care of the injured and the sick... It’s the littlest dog with like 2 inch long legs. And it said, you know what? I’m going to be the leader today."
  — Jennifer Welch (29:20)

• On the Limits of Tolerance
  "I do not want these people to suffer. However, I do not want them to play in my fucking sandbox... I am not like those people."
  — Jennifer Welch (55:22)

• On Being the "Corgi"
  "I love the LGBTQ+ community, and I love everybody who stands for universal human rights. And I hate the triple trumpers. And you’re not getting an off ramp."
  — Jennifer Welch (61:15)

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Important Timestamps (MM:SS)

• Phone Etiquette & Boundaries: 01:35–06:02
• Jackhammer & Regional Riffs: 06:04–08:09
• Hypochondria & Addiction: 07:49–10:29
• Listener Reviews: 10:29–11:56
• Family Control & Denial: 12:13–19:30
• Religious Hypocrisy/Facade: 19:42–24:55
• Anti-Theocracy Rant: 24:57–26:00
• Big Fat the Corgi Story: 26:00–31:31
• Cornhole Player Murder Story: 31:33–36:31
• Elevator & Bathroom Etiquette: 36:46–46:12
• Political Hypocrisy Callout (Alex from Nashville): 46:50–51:42
• Rant on "Off-Ramps" for Triple Trumpers: 54:11–64:07

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Tone & Style

• Irreverent, blunt, comedic, and unapologetic.
• Deeply personal, yet big-picture political and cultural critiques.
• Frequent self-deprecation and in-jokes between the hosts, celebrating “gaytriots,” “natriots,” and all “patriots.”
• Strong on boundaries, empathy, personal growth, and exposing hypocrisy.

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Summary

This episode weaves together personal growth, family struggles, and broader social criticism, all filtered through sharp wit and unfiltered honesty. Whether calling out selfish phone habits, the perils of willful denial, mega-church hypocrisy, or the need for true leaders (like “Big Fat the Corgi”), Jennifer, Pumps, and Kylie remind their audience that authenticity, empathy, and boundaries matter more than appearances or false unity. If you’re ready for judgment-free real talk with a side of political advocacy and hearty, sometimes profane, laughter—this episode is for you.

Transcript

[Jennifer Welch]

All right, listener. I know for each of you that tune in every single day, the news is just horrifying at times, but it's so important that you be a responsible citizen. And if you care about this country like I do, you have to stay locked into the news. And that's why every single morning we go to our Ground News Vantage plan. And let me give you an example of how this works and you can follow along at home on groundnews.com I've had it. So here's a headline that showed up in my Vantage plan. So Supreme Court ruling offers little relief for Republicans divided on Trump's tariff. It tells me that this article leans left and has a very high factuality. Same subject, different headline. Trump to sign new 10% global tariff after Supreme Court defeat. It tells me this is a lean right publication with mixed factuality. So then you know, okay, do I want to read something with mixed facts, factuality that's owned by the Murdoch family? I'm going to go with the one that has high factuality. Listener, Join us by going to ground news.com I've had it. To get 40% off the ground News Vantage plan that we use every day. They are subscriber funded and my favorite part is that they are female. Founded by subscribing, you're not only getting a tool we all need today, you're also supporting our work here at IHIP. That's ground. G-R O U N D news.com forward slash. I've had it. So we supposed to start the podcast.

[Pumps]

Ready? One, two, three.

[Jennifer Welch]

Patriots. Gay Trio. They Trio. It's Black Trio. It's Brown Trio. It's triple. Trumpers can do what? Pumps. All right, pumps. What have you had it with?

[Pumps]

Okay, what I've had it with, and I know I've probably said this before because it is one of my biggest habits of all time. And that is when you're on the phone and you say, okay, well, I need to run or I need to go or I've got to let you go. And the person says, just one more thing. Just one more thing. Not one more thing. I said I had to go. That drives me and insane. I think it's controlling. And because I'm working in therapy on my boundaries, my new thing is I don't have time for one more thing. I got to let you run. But can you imagine being that, like, I don't know, what is it? Narcissistic? Lack of self awareness? Selfish, Controlling? What is it?

[Jennifer Welch]

Well, I, I have to say, sometimes I've been on the phone with you, and we're literally in the middle of something, and very important points that I have to make, and I'm only 75% with the points. And then you start this. I gotta go. And I'm like, no, you're not going. I still have 15 more percent to tell you or 25% more to tell you. And then you hang up and. And then I call you right back, and I'm like, no, I wasn't done. So to me, it's about completion. However. However, the specific type of person that you're talking about, a phone lollygagger, that is very real, and that is really problematic. And I have a person in my life that does this to me. Josh.

[Pumps]

I was gonna say your husband.

[Jennifer Welch]

Yeah. And I'll start. I'll go, well, I'll start closing language at first, right? A lot more sensitive than I am. And so, like, you can go, I gotta go. And you hang up at a copy. You're such a fucking bitch. I didn't finish my story. And you're like, okay, neither one of us is sensitive about it. I cannot do that with Josh. Right. Cause he's a lot more sensitive. Not with other people, only with me.

[Pumps]

Right?

[Jennifer Welch]

And so I'll start. Okay, well, I. And he goes, oh, are you wanting to get off the phone? I'm nowhere near done. I mean, I'm just. I. I'm just gearing up for the conversation, Mama. And I'm just sitting there, like, you know, clenching my jaw. Kegel shoulders. Core exercise isometric out the wazoo. And he's really bad about this. Really bad. And he likes to be on the phone when he drives from point A to point B.

[Pumps]

Yes.

[Jennifer Welch]

Fill those full 15 minutes. So he'll call me at the beginning of the drive, and he wants to keep me on until the very end where he can hang up the phone, turn off his car, and walk out and walk into his appointment. And sometimes, like, I'm in. He's. I've been on the phone. So then I'm like, into the conversation, he wants to abruptly end it. But he's a phone. He's a user. He uses on the phone for entertainment, Right?

[Pumps]

You're entertaining him from point A to point B, giving him something to do with this time.

[Jennifer Welch]

Here's.

[Pumps]

I hate when somebody calls you out on your closing language. One of my kids does that to me when I'm like, okay, right? He's like, oh, so you're. You're done talking to me? You're bored with me. And I've just gotten to the point now I'm like, yeah, I am, I am done. We've, we've covered it already.

[Jennifer Welch]

I go, yeah, we're, we're landing the plane. This is, we're wrapping. We're done. You know, I'm, I don't want to hurt your feelings. That's not what this is about. But we need to get, we need to end the phone call now. It's ending now. And I think that that's. If you can't tell your family and your friends that, then who can you tell? Yeah, And I would even say I, I've gotten to where if I'm on the phone with something, placing it to go order and then they read it back and then they have more follow up questions. I'll just say, I need for this phone call to end right now. I'll be there, we're done. I'll just say I need for this call to end if I'm on the phone with an airline. And then at the end they're like, okay, well, I'm like, are we done here? Because I need for this call to end. I need to end right now. And I'm, I, I'm speaking from the eye and from my needs. Ask your therapist about that.

[Pumps]

The eye. And what I need. And what I need is for, I

[Jennifer Welch]

need for this to end.

[Pumps]

To be over.

[Jennifer Welch]

Yeah. Okay. I'll tell you what I've had it with.

[Pumps]

Okay.

[Jennifer Welch]

There is a jackhammer. And you'll probably hear it in the background outside of my apartment. And it is jackhammering and jackhammering and jackhammering and jackhammering. You hear it? Do you hear it?

[Pumps]

I didn't hear it this morning. I did hear it a little bit earlier, but not.

[Jennifer Welch]

Do you hear it right now? So it's jackhammering and I looked out the window and it's. I mean, they're going to be going for a while. I think it could be a two to three day project. Oh, nice. And right now there's two jackhammers going at one time. Which I appreciate that they would double the jackhammer to double the time of demolition, but I've really had it with this jackhammer. Yeah.

[Pumps]

Do they stop it at night or do you know yet? It's today, the first day.

[Jennifer Welch]

No, today's day one. We're on day one of the jackhammer. And the one thing I'll say about New York is they don't. There's no lollygagging or footing. Like they'll start this thing. They got two jackhammers going. It'll be wrapped up in probably two to three days. If this project was going on in Oklahoma, it'd be a couple weeks because you're going to have yl. I'll tell you what, my, my guy can't get here till Wednesday.

[Pumps]

Yes.

[Jennifer Welch]

And he's got to head out early because his wife is having a little procedure. Nothing life threatening, but just a little procedure. You know. You know, she's getting one of them pap smears. You know, they just go into all this painstaking deal and that's another time where I want to go, I need for this conversation to end. Yeah, I want out of it. I want to end, end the conversation. Nothing gets me more than unsolicited information about surgeries and medical procedures and medical events, which is really a mind for me, considering I'm married to a hypochondriac.

[Pumps]

Yeah, but it's not always been a hyp. Hypochondriac. I don't feel like that's a relative.

[Jennifer Welch]

I would say, I would say the last six, seven years, we've been really

[Pumps]

committed to the hyp together for like 30.

[Jennifer Welch]

So I mean, I think the hypochondria is an offshoot of the sobriety.

[Pumps]

Something like focus on.

[Jennifer Welch]

Because addicts are so focused on themselves.

[Pumps]

Right.

[Jennifer Welch]

So then it's in their moods. And so the I, I, here's the deal. I'm going to go ahead and make the hypothesis now as I always do. Hypochondria is a common symptom of sobriety. Now we'll watch and it will show up in the Internet in about a month or two. Somebody will listen and then steal all my scientific ideas and do the study on it. And then we'll find out that yes, recovering addicts have a higher propensity to hypochondria. And I'll get all credit for any of it. But that's okay.

[Pumps]

I'll keep my ear to the ground in recovery circles. If I see an upshoot in the hypochondria, they're there.

[Jennifer Welch]

I'm, I'm certain of it. Because it's just addiction is the most selfish disease on the planet because when they're using, it's all about them using. And then when they're sober, it's all about their recovery. It's all about them, them, them, them. And so the hypochondria just goes straight into that. It's like perfect because the hypochondria is about them.

[Pumps]

It's a common thing.

[Jennifer Welch]

All right, welcome to I've had it. America's top DEI podcast. If you hear the humming in the background, that is a jackhammer. Not to be confused with like little jackhammer maga men.

[Pumps]

I was thinking like a gyrater. Not to be confused with the maga gyrater.

[Jennifer Welch]

Yeah. All right. Kylie.

[Kylie]

Hi.

[Jennifer Welch]

Hi. Hi.

[Kylie]

I've got. Well, really quick. Jen. I just googled if there's a link between hypochondria and drug addiction. Oh yeah, there's hits on. Hits on Google. This one says it's. It's an illness anxiety in itself. And often people with hypochondria also suffer from drug addiction.

[Pumps]

Wow.

[Jennifer Welch]

It makes perfect sense. It just because the. The. The. The nature of addiction, whether you're in it actively or in recovery, is a default setting of. You always operate from the position of yourself. Right. And the focus on self is next level from the average non addicted person.

[Pumps]

That's fair.

[Jennifer Welch]

Yeah.

[Kylie]

Okay. I've got a couple reviews. This one is 5 stars titled Good Trouble. And JBX writes. Found this podcast on Tick Tock one day and never stopped listening. Not for the sensitive or the titty babies or the easily offended. Jennifer, I nominate you to be in charge of all interviews of government officials. And Pumps, you're in charge of deconstructing as many people as you can. Love y' all keep up the good fight from JB Parentheses, not Pritzker, but just as charming.

[Jennifer Welch]

I like it. J.P. i like it. Punch you do you need to get on the deconstructing.

[Pumps]

Just get on it. Maybe I can. Here's what I need to do. If I was really, really good at it, I would start grifting off of it. That's the next step.

[Jennifer Welch]

Then you're just. Then you're just what you were before. Then you're the exact same broken person that you were. No, in the exact same way.

[Pumps]

But just against what I used to be for.

[Jennifer Welch]

Right. But it's still the same thing.

[Pumps]

Yeah, but the. The grifting.

[Jennifer Welch]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

[Kylie]

This one is 5 stars titled Mega retail Bible thumping. I wish I would have had the foresight back in the day to fleece these fools. Couldn't create my own religion and broadcast it. I'm an atheist but am amazed by the soft minded people. And thankfully Pumps got out and is standing up to her mom.

[Jennifer Welch]

Yeah.

[Pumps]

Finally. Finally. How's it going?

[Jennifer Welch]

P? How's it going with.

[Pumps]

I haven't talked to her. I keep meeting to call her and bring up Easter, but I Just haven't done it yet. But I'll do it this week. I'll have a full report next week.

[Jennifer Welch]

You got. I mean, the listener is making a. It's, It's a big development.

[Pumps]

Yeah, it is. And, and really, I just, I don't think that either one of us can properly articulate how terrified of my mother I was as an adult that did not live with her.

[Jennifer Welch]

I don't think anybody that's listening to this can understand, like, the iron fist, the authoritarian nature. Like, her mother would walk into her house. She was married with children. Walk into her house uninvited, unannounced. Open up her mail.

[Pumps]

Yes.

[Jennifer Welch]

Go through her credit card bills. Bills. And ask her about her spending. And she's 44.04t. And she would never stand up to her and go, get your paws off of my bills. It's none of your business. I don't live with you anymore. Like, if my parents did some shit like that, make it's not your business. Like, my dad is a biggest penny pincher on the planet. I mean, like, I remember growing up, we would go to 711 after school and we'd go in and my dad would grab a Pepsi and my brother and sister and I would grab a Coke and he'd go, y' all must be making more money than I make because Pepsi's 5 cents cheaper. We're all just like, roll our eyes and walk our Coke cans, 711 refrigerator, and then go get a Pepsi because it's 5 cents cheaper. And. But if my dad got in and he was a straight. He was a pretty strict father, but he very much is about his, his children being autonomous adults and minding his own business. If he ever opened up, I'd be like, get your nosy ass out of my house pumps, you guys. The fear this woman has. Like, I've.

[Pumps]

You.

[Jennifer Welch]

You've never seen. I've never seen anybody as scared as their parents. Not even a child as scared of their parent as you are of your mother ever. I've never seen anything like it. I don't know. So much better now.

[Pumps]

No, I, I.

[Jennifer Welch]

You just.

[Pumps]

The picture cannot be painted enough of. How so? Like, the baby steps I've taken and some have been big steps, but, I mean, it's still. It probably on her deathbed, I'll still be trying to set boundaries and stuff, I think.

[Jennifer Welch]

Yeah, I think probably when she's in the grave, it's something that you'll still probably are getting some. Like, is she gonna know? Is she gonna find out?

[Pumps]

You know, I don't know. The rumination on it is a. Is tons better. It's tens better, believe it or not.

[Jennifer Welch]

Really. I'm really proud of you because that's. That was such a. Like a dark passenger. Everywhere we went was like. And. And what I really hated it for you is the double life that you had to live. You had to be one person who you weren't for her.

[Pumps]

Yep.

[Jennifer Welch]

Like this character. And then you got to be your real person, which kind of set you up for a lot of bad stuff, sadly.

[Pumps]

Yeah. And I was just thinking, today my older dog's having some health problems, so he's not going to school. So I walked him and I was thinking on my walk, I was like, the, the denial. Living in denial and being able to deny yourself things like that's generational in my family too. If you don't want to know about it. It just doesn't exist like it. I can't. I know that, that, you know, the. Sweep it under the, the rug and all that is really strong in my. Or what is it? Family of origin. God. You would think with all the therapy, family of origin would roll off.

[Jennifer Welch]

It really is. I'll give, I'll give an anecdotal story, Roy. Okay, so Angie's ex had a proclivity for sexual entertainers and workers. And everybody knew was a well known discussed thing. And he would host these golf tournaments with sex workers present and performing both dances and sex acts. And I. One time, Angie and I didn't know each other very well, but we're starting to know each other more in the golf tournament was going on and I said, hey, I've heard kind of some bad stuff about that tournament Angie. Because I was so shocked because she's like, miss, you need to go to Bible study with me. And you know, she's making cookies and like all this shit. It's like, it's like June Cleaver shit. And then her husband, his license plate so said Spanky S P N K Y. And he hosted these sex fueled golf tournaments, right. And they were notorious. Everybody knew about them. So I said to her, I go, hey, I mean, how do getting to know you, like, you know the Bible study and all this that you do and how do you feel about your husband's culture? I don't want to know. I don't need to know. I don't want to know one thing about it. I don't want to know one thing. And I remember, I was like, that's weird. That doesn't make it not happen. Like it genuinely. Like that doesn't mean that he's not. And so I was. We didn't. We. We were like in the dating phase of our friendship. So I was kind of like, okay. Then when she finds out conclusively that he does this extracurricular activities with sex workers, she looks at me and she's like, I had no idea. I'm like, hello. What was the license plate that says Spanky or the sex filled doctor? She was dead serious. Like, she was serious. Of course you knew. Of course you knew. This is willful denial. Like, it didn't fit in. But my God, how. How much you've grown.

[Pumps]

I'm wondering if the willful denial, maybe instead of denial, the blanket statement I made earlier about being in my generation, it's willful demise.

[Jennifer Welch]

It's willful.

[Pumps]

It's willful.

[Jennifer Welch]

If you look up to a polygraph and true serum does your husband hookers. And you said, no, you would have failed it. You would have 100 failed it because you knew. Because you got super defensive. I don't want to know.

[Pumps]

I don't want to know. Right.

[Jennifer Welch]

That's a reaction.

[Pumps]

There's a component in that. I really. I mean, and I'm not trying to bring everything back to religion. I know. But there's a part of that I feel like is linked to the super religious part of my life. Like, you only believe what you want to believe and then you deny the existence of the rest. And so I feel like I don't know what. To what level, but to me, that's interconnected.

[Jennifer Welch]

So it brings me to my point of willful denial. It was totally willful. Right? Right.

[Pumps]

Totally willful. Yeah.

[Jennifer Welch]

A lot of juicy tea. But it's in our book. Guys, I'm not outing this stuff. Like, she's written about this, so it's in our book, which you can buy. Speaking of grifting. Right. Life is a lazy Susan of shit sandwiches where she talks about Spanky smoking crack with hookers.

[Pumps]

I do think. I don't think that license plate. So you have to listen to the podcast and read the book to get all the details.

[Jennifer Welch]

Is the license plate. Is that not in the book, Spanky? I think it's in there.

[Pumps]

It is. Okay.

[Kylie]

Can I ask what. Why Spanky?

[Pumps]

Well, that is that.

[Kylie]

But, like, why?

[Pumps]

And what I was told is completely different.

[Kylie]

And he just put it on his license plate.

[Jennifer Welch]

Yes. It was out. He drove to the megachurch?

[Pumps]

Yeah, he drove to the megachurch with

[Jennifer Welch]

the family and the kids and the License plate said Spanky and I hate personalized tags.

[Pumps]

I just excused so much. Let me just tell you this is a true story Kylie. We would sit in the mega church and he would tell me so and so's around on his wife so and so's around on her husband. He would go through all of the congregants and he was the worst offender by far. Combine all of their dalliances in a. In a little jar and his was so much bigger. But that, I mean that's the kind of shit that was happening.

[Jennifer Welch]

I think that's really common though Pumps. I think that instance where you have the white picket fence forward facing. We're not going to tell. We're not going to speak truths. We're going to deny reality and we're going to project to the Joneses that we are this godly or this perfect or whatever family. I think it's really common especially in white suburbia I think. And then behind the scenes you got a little spanker, you got a little crack

[Pumps]

crack.

[Jennifer Welch]

You got. You got the. People are broken. Yeah, people are broken. And we project that we have to. We have this stupid give a. That we care what other people think of our families instead of really living and being with our families. So some people I think buy into this. Well everybody thinks we're a nice family instead of really being and enjoying and not giving a. What anybody else thinks but literally enjoying and being a nice family. And what other families think of your family is none of your business. That's their business. But I think so many Americans, white, suburban, upper middle class get caught up in the. Into this. If, if we have the appearance of being a good family then therefore we are a good family and it's. It's just superficial.

[Pumps]

No, I completely agree. And that. And that was one thing that really like I tried to pay it forward people with that I really didn't even know that well would come and talk about what was going on in their marriages because they knew a. There was no way I could possibly be judgmental based on what my life was like. And so it made. They had somebody to talk to and that really like you pay. You gave that to me a judgment free zone of let's just talk about it and be real. And so that was. That is one of the gifts in going through all this thing is to be able to be there for another person.

[Jennifer Welch]

Yeah, totally. Totally. Because when that veneer is broken that oh my God, it's not perfect because what, what you're. What you're doing with that veneer is you're living in judgment. That means you're judging everybody else by the veneer of their family. And once that veneer is broke, broken, then you need to go to somebody that's judgment free. That's like, look, man, we're all broken. Behind every. I always think when I drive through, like, nice neighborhoods, I always think behind every single one of these doors are just secrets. And. And listen, I think generally people can be happy. I think that mega church culture, white upper middle class, mega church culture is a really specific broken culture. These are the people that turn out in droves to vote for, to triple trump. And I think they have. There's a combination of a culty religion, evangelical Christianity combined with, like, this capitalism combined with appearance culture. You know, like, if we look good and if we do matching Christmas pajama pictures, then we're going to all American family, you know, and it's just. It's bullshit. The real moments are the moments that aren't on Instagram. The real moments are the moments that you have. Like, I can tell that our family's been through so much. You guys were talking about pumps is. But Josh and I have been through so much. And just this past spring break, the whole. The kids, everybody was here, and I called Josh and I go, we didn't take one family photo. And I thought, you know what that means? We're living. We're enjoying each other. There was not a moment where we thought, oh, my God, we better look like we're the happy family. Not that I wish we had the family photo, right? But it's like we. We had one of the best spring breaks ever. We were all in New York and it was so much fun. The weather was, like, glorious two or three days and we had the best time and we didn't have to do any. I realized, like, we didn't take one photo of all of us together. And then I realized, okay, that's really great. That's growth. Like, who gives a. Because what we felt, what we experienced is. It's in here. Yeah.

[Pumps]

In the heart.

[Jennifer Welch]

Because of. Okay, I've had it. I've had it with people using religion as a hall pass to control everyone else's lives. I've had it with politicians pretending the Constitution is optional when it comes to church and state. The First Amendment is actually very clear. The government does not get to pick a religion or force one on the rest of us, period. But right now, Christian nationalists are trying to shove their beliefs into public schools, into laws, into courts, and we're not doing this. The Freedom from Religion foundation is one of the few groups actually fighting back. They take these cases on, they enforce the Constitution, and they protect everyone's freedom of conscience, not just one group's. This isn't anti religion. It's anti forced religion. If you're also done with this nonsense, join them. Visit FFRF US Fight or text the word fight to learn more and join text fight to 511-511 and help protect a country that belongs to all of us. Because honestly, enough is Enough. Go to FFRF US Fight or text FIGHT to 5 11. 511 message and data rates may apply. All right, listener, what's softer than cashmere and warmer than wool? It's not a riddle. It is alpaca. And I am so obsessed with alpaca, I recently got the hoodie in pebble from Paca. For years, I've been on the hunt for that. Go to natural fiber hoodie that I can always pack, and I know it'll stay comfortable no matter what I'm doing. And then finally, I found it with this alpaca hoodie from Paka. Paca makes outdoor and lifestyle apparel from Alpaca Fiber, one of the world's most sustainable natural fibers. Their bestselling hoodie is softer than cashmere, warmer than wool, and breathable. This hoodie is built for real life. Thermoregulating, odor resistant, durable, and made to last. So, listener, if you've been thinking about leveling up your hoodie game, this is your sign to do it now. To grab your Paca hoodie, go to www.pacaapparel.com. that's www.pakaapparel.com. okay, so moving along. Oh, my God. We have a story. A new story that I want to share with everybody that I'm completely obsessed with. Kylie popped this up. Seven dogs were stolen from their owners in China, and they've gone viral. After escaping from an illegal transport truck and making their way home, they traveled around 17 kilometers together, led by a corgi across highways and fields. Now, safely back with their respective owners. Pop up the video. Okay, so these dogs all live in the same neighborhood and they all hang out together because everybody knows that dogs are pack animals. So Here are these seven dogs. They're all BFFs. The German shepherd is injured, so they make a wall around the German shepherd because when they jumped out of the truck from the thieves that were taking them to the dog meat market.

[Pumps]

Is that what it.

[Jennifer Welch]

Yes. They escaped in the back of the truck and then one of them chewed and then allowed the gate to open. They all escape. The German shepherd gets injured. Put this back up. So they're all. Play that video again. So they're all, they're all hovered around and the corgi is the ringleader. And that little corgi with those little short legs, now that's funny. Sniffed the whole way home. Look at that. His name translated from Chinese to English is Big Fat. Big Fat. I've been down the rabbit hole, Big Fat. This is the type of leadership this world needs right now. Big Fat takes care of the injured and the sick. And he doesn't have little man short man syndrome like Mark Wayne Mullen, like Stephen Miller. He doesn't have teeny weeny syndrome. It's the littlest dog with like 2 inch long legs. And it said, you know what? I'm going to be the leader today. I'm going to march that sick, crippled German shepherd home and I'm not going to leave one person behind. We're not leaving the German shepherd behind. Everybody's going to make it home because we're not going to be dog meat today. And pop up these photos of these dogs. Here they are. So people were filming them and so that little corgi. So here's what I start thinking about because everything's so political right now, right? Like who's our corgi? Who is our corgi that is going to lead us out of this? Like that little corgi just said, you know what? I, I'm going to put myself in a leadership position. I'm going to march all of our asses home. My name is Big Fat the Corgi. I'm not with anybody. I'm going to make sure this German shepherd gets home, gets medical care. We're not going to be dog meat. Who's the corgi? Who is our corgi?

[Pumps]

I'm really racking my brain now that you said that.

[Jennifer Welch]

I can't think of one person.

[Pumps]

I can't think of one either. I mean, in my mind it has to be a woman kind of.

[Jennifer Welch]

I don't know, I mean, I would love for it to be a woman. I, I listen, I take a dead pig right now, if the dead pig had the leadership skills of Big Fat the corgi.

[Pumps]

Yeah, we'd take the corgi. We'd take Big Fat over here, lead us out.

[Jennifer Welch]

I would. I mean, just these dogs, Corgi showing more leadership than any American politician right now. Look at that. Look at Big Fat. Look At Big Fat. Look at the compassion, the leadership, the commitment, the dedication. Pack leader, where are you? Hakeem and Chuckles take a lesson from Big Fat. Big Fat. The corgi knows what to do. Stands on business.

[Pumps]

I love.

[Jennifer Welch]

All right, what else, Kylie?

[Kylie]

Okay, we have another story. The headline. The headline is a professional corn hair. Sorry. A professional cornhole player with no arms and legs has been accused of murder in Charles County. And Bridget on Twitter says, am I having a stroke? And I actually have the video of the news report. And honestly, it just gets more confusing as you learn more facts. Going to play it here

[Pumps]

now to a bizarre story out of Charles county police now investigating after a professional cornhole player with no hands and no legs is accused of firing a deadly shot all while driving. We want to get out to our home of bash. She is live in La Plata this evening with more details.

[Jennifer Welch]

Homa, Angie. Bizarre to say the least. But before we get any further into this story, I just want to try to answer the question that so many

[Pumps]

people have right now.

[Jennifer Welch]

How did someone with no arms, no hands, manage to fire a gun and allegedly kill someone? It's early in the investigation, but there is no evidence at this point to suggest anybody who else was involved in the shooting and that he acted alone on this. Now want to closely you're looking at the man accused of murder in this case. Video from his Tik Tok page titled no hands, no feet shooting 9 mm handgun.

[Kylie]

Okay. So. And he went on to shoot a passenger in his car. I did not ever learn how he drove the car and held the gun.

[Pumps]

I was gonna say you can have hand controls, but that wouldn't fix the whole problem.

[Jennifer Welch]

I think for the leg, there's probably like an extension type thing. Right. Have part. And then we just saw a video of him shooting the gun. And clearly he's a good aim because he's a cornhole champion despite being a quadriplegic. And so it's a really fascinating story coming out of the United States where again, we go back to the gun problem that even people with no arms and no legs can kill. People with guns. Yeah, that's how up America is. That even a quadriplegic can commit murder. That's how good Americans are with guns. Which was interesting about the Olympics because I guess there was like a shooting thing and like we lost.

[Pumps]

Really?

[Jennifer Welch]

Like a shooting in the Olympics.

[Pumps]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Welch]

And I'm like, we lost. Like, shouldn't we win gold? Gold, gold, gold, gold for any sort of gun shooting thing?

[Pumps]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Welch]

Country we lost. I don't think. I didn't even know if we meddled. Really?

[Pumps]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Welch]

Kylie, look that up.

[Pumps]

I will. Yeah.

[Jennifer Welch]

I mean, I would say probably one of the better things I've heard, but. Yeah, that's crazy about the quadriplegic.

[Kylie]

It's sad, too, because he went super viral when he was in that court.

[Pumps]

The cornhole. With his mouth. I mean.

[Kylie]

No, no, he holds it with his.

[Pumps]

He two hands it.

[Jennifer Welch]

Or two. Yeah, yeah.

[Kylie]

And he went super viral for it and he was kind of a star. So it's sad to see that he's

[Pumps]

driving and shooting again with no fingers. I will say. Takes a lot of, you know, coordination that I certainly don't have. I can barely drive. Oh. Which I have an update for all of the people. Few. Few weeks ago, I was like, this guy honked at me for a mile. I fucking had it with honkers. I don't know if you remember that. Since then, I have noticed I'm getting honked at a lot, so I must be the common denominat. So I'm going to take that habit back because clearly I am doing something that I am unaware of that is irritating the fuck out of people. And so I've really been trying to be more diligent, but like, last week, it was like three different days in a row that I did something that somebody honked.

[Jennifer Welch]

So I've ridden in a car with you, and when you propose this story, I remember saying, what did you do? And you swore up and down, but I've ridden in a car with you, and you're on your phone and I know you're about to say, oh, my God, I'm trying to be better. But you. When your version of being better is just responding quicker to text, it's not. Not texting.

[Pumps]

Yeah. No, it's bad, but. No, I mean, seriously, I've been in

[Jennifer Welch]

the car with you. You're weaving like a drunk.

[Pumps]

Like, I don't stay in my life.

[Jennifer Welch]

It's a miracle that we're live.

[Pumps]

Yeah. But so I. But in this situation, like, whatever I'm doing, I'm not aware of it. So I'm trying to be super aware because I am doing something that is worth note for a lot of other drivers.

[Kylie]

All right, Jen, on the metals.

[Jennifer Welch]

Yeah.

[Kylie]

We won one gold, three silver, one bronze.

[Jennifer Welch]

Okay, so that's better than what I thought. I think it should have been. I mean, considering the gun issue that we have here, it should have been a clean sweep. Gold, gold, gold. Yeah. All right,

[Kylie]

I've got some.

[Jennifer Welch]

What else do we have voice memos. Okay, let's do this.

[Kylie]

Okay, up first we've got Molly and.

[Molly]

Hey, Bombs. Hey, Kylie. This is Molly. I'm coming at you from D.C. and I just have to tell you about something that I have absolutely had it with this week, and that is people not taking the stairs. It's outrageous. It is an epidemic. I live in an apartment building and I live on a higher floor. And so obviously we have an elevator. Elevator. And people who live on the second and the third floor are taking the elevator. What's up with that? Take the stairs. We are all trying to get out of the building in a timely manner when we are going to work. We are all trying to get back up to our apartments in a timely manner when we are done with work for the day. Stop making us wait so you can get off at the second or third floor. Take the stairs. It's ridiculous. It's an epidemic. We need to stop doing this. There needs to be a sign in every apartment building. The elevator is only for those people who live on the upper floors of the building. If you live below the third floor, take the stairs. The elevator is not for you unless you are carrying something very heavy or elderly, et cetera. There are exceptions. We get it. But as a general rule, the elevator is not for folks who live below the second or the third floor.

[Pumps]

I think that's a great rule.

[Jennifer Welch]

I completely agree. We were just talking about this. Kylie and Anna and I were at our New York, our new, new recording studio, getting it all set up. And we're on one of the. We're on the top floor of the building. And Anna was complaining that there were a lot of tenants on the second and third floor that were taking the elevator. And this. In this building, there's a beautiful staircase. It's not like a fire exit staircase. It's like a gorgeous, wide, long slope. So it's not like super vertical. And, you know, I. I agree. I think you got to. You got to take those steers. You cannot bogart the ELE elevator for one to two floors.

[Pumps]

It's embarrassing that you can't get your fat ass up a flight of stairs. I mean, it just is. In fact, when I. I have a doctor that's on, like, the fifth floor, and I've stopped on every floor. Like, people going up from like 2 to 3. Like, people that work in the building. So, I mean, this was like a year ago. I go. I'm trying to go down the stairs. I go down. The door's locked. So then I Have to go back. I was embarrassed to go down one floor. I. I was like, felt like you're an embarrassment to yourself that your fat ass can't take one floor. And people do it all the time.

[Jennifer Welch]

So. Speaking of, like, she said that you should put a note in an elevator. I think you should about this. So I was in Los Angeles two or three weeks ago, and I had to go meet with this guy at his office, an attorney. And I said, where's the restroom? He told me, and it was like a shared restroom and hallway. And when I got to the door, there was a printed sign on the door that said, please clean up after yourself. Please make sure all toilet paper is flushed. Any extra special things in the toilet are wiped down and. Or flush, and everything is removed from the floor. This is on the bed, the door. Entering the bathroom. And I was like, I wonder if they've listened to our podcast, because we've talked about this a lot, right? So then I go in the bathroom, and I look, pick my stall on the outside, the same sign on the inside, the exact same sign, and I'm talk. What's so hilarious about the sign is you can tell the person who wrote it, I don't know what she walked into, but it must have been.

[Pumps]

It was bad.

[Jennifer Welch]

Really bad scene. Because it's like four. 4 thoughts spaced out from one another, right? And you can tell with each one, she just gets a little bit more unhinged. And then after I. I pee and I see the sign, and then I'm flesh spect everything, I'm like, we're all good here. I go out to the sink, and there's four more of these signs up. And it's like. It's literally like, please make sure that you flush the toilet. If something doesn't go down all the way, make sure you double flush. If there is pee or anything on top of the toilet seat, make sure you wipe that down. Make sure you keep this bathroom the way you would want to find it. And then if the last one is fine, like, if there's an extra something special rubbed on the side of the toilet, go ahead and give that a wipe as well. Thank you. We all need to work together to keep these restrooms clean. So here's the thing. Here's what's so fucking hilarious about all this, right? You would think that there's probably a hundred people using these restrooms, right? There's only two offices on this floor. So, yes, the people that I was visiting, there's maybe five people that work there. It's not a huge building. On the opposite side of the restrooms and the elevators is another building. Let's just say five or six people. So then you start. My mind started going, okay, so I got that receptionist, right? Who is it that I saw? And then I wonder if this is like somebody didn't flush a tampon or had diarrhea. And there was. I know this is graphic to think about you guys, but we've all walked into situation where we see stuff where people have not taken their restroom experience over the goddamn finish line. And this woman who made these signs and taped it up, I thought, this woman is a hero. She made sure there's no way that somebody could walk out of that restroom and say, I didn't see the sign because they're on the front of the door, back and forth. They were above the trap. You know, there's a trash can in the stall. Yeah, like maxi pads. It was above, it was behind the flesh. They were everywhere. So in my mind I'm like, okay, whoever the offender is, it's happened multiple times, right. It's not a one off, right. And I'm wondering if the person claims like, well, I didn't know, I didn't see, or I thought the house, you know, the janitors come or something, but it was so juicy. I wish I would have taken a picture of the sign.

[Pumps]

I want to know, like, you know, if somebody went to all the trouble to post all those signs, I just feel like that person probably made a plea like send an inner office memo or you know, mentioned it like, we need to clean up after ourselves and da, da, da. And she was just ignored and ignored desperation. And she's just like, fuck it. But I kind of do want to know what the scoop was and I would want to know who the offender was. I would go exactly to the person I thought wrote the email and I would say, what happened?

[Jennifer Welch]

And she knows who it is.

[Pumps]

Oh, she.

[Jennifer Welch]

Because I guarantee you that after you write, after you escalate and you print out about 20 copies of these instructions for people for grown adults to go into the bathroom and clean up after themselves, and you have about five different points that you're making in your memo that you've taped up 20 different copies of in a three stall bathroom. There's three stalls total. Okay. This is not a big bathroom.

[Pumps]

I'm gonna ask you.

[Jennifer Welch]

So you have them taped up everywhere in there. The, the, the type of person that did this, got the tape printed it, stormed in there with the tape, taped it up Right. That's a person that's going to have their bead on the hallway. Like their eyes are going to be constantly on the. I wouldn't even be surprised if there was some sort of like sensor where she knew if somebody entered the bathroom. If there's pre inspections of when a person goes in and then there's post inspections and I would even suspect that outside of the signage that I saw, this is just me deducing here. I would imagine that there was probably at some point a photograph of something very unsightly. And she did an all points bulletin to everybody in the building, not just floor nine. I bet she thought every motherfucker is getting this. Every single person in this building gets this memoir. I just went into the bathroom on floor nine and this is what I saw. It's a goddamn bloody Sunday. You need to make sure you're wiping, you're going to make sure you're flushing to make sure you're picking up. And you know, then there was probably a lot of office friction.

[Pumps]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Welch]

And then she's, she has graduated to the signage. But I don't think it's over yet. No, we're anywhere near the end of this. I, I'll do a little follow up on this.

[Pumps]

I think this woman was pushed so far.

[Jennifer Welch]

You too? I think she just, I think she's an abuse victim.

[Pumps]

Right. I mean she's just like, I'm done. It would not surprise me if this per. She followed this person into the bathroom and just stood like, just stood in the bathroom just like, you want to go down? We're going down.

[Jennifer Welch]

I just think there's a lot of people that, that go into the restroom. And I will not buy that people just have no self awareness about their piss or I'm just not buying that. It's just something that you need to make sure is completely sent down. And there's no evidence of that when you leave the space. Not on the toilet seat, not on the floor, not anywhere. You need to fucking clean up after yourself. And so I think some of these people are just so entitled, so messy and so MAGA that they just think they can piss and shit all over the place and triple trump and somebody's going to come clean it up. And I think this woman had.

[Kylie]

Had it.

[Jennifer Welch]

I think she's an abuse victim. And if she's in a support group, I, I support her. I support the signage. I supported the signage. I got the biggest kick out of it. That was like, oh, she is pissed.

[Pumps]

She is not gonna take it anymore.

[Jennifer Welch]

She saw some bad things. She saw bad.

[Pumps]

And we can all identify. Remember we had that show one time and we went in and there was a bathroom that was all it was like.

[Jennifer Welch]

And we had.

[Pumps]

Oh, there's just nothing worse. It's just an offensive. That's just something that shouldn't be public consumption. That's why the bathroom is private.

[Jennifer Welch]

All right, Kylie, who's next?

[Kylie]

Okay, up next, we've got Alex.

[Alex]

Hey, ladies. Gaytriot clocking in here from Nashville. Blue.in red state. You guys are my favorite. I listen to you every day. Seriously, I'm going to see you in Atlanta. Cannot wait. But basically what I've had it with are all of these DL drama queen Republican congress people, especially here in Tennessee. We recently had Andy Ogles start an investigation into the NFL and Bad Bunny because he maybe was a little bit turned on. Missing Bad Bunny in his all white Zara outfit and holding a football and spreading a good message. I don't know. But he's just turned on by that. And it's ruining everyone else's lives. They're trying to turn over same sex marriage here. They are just heinous. They have the worst style. And Marsha Blackburn too. I mean, I'm sure there's something up with her, but she has zero gay people around her, just by the looks of her hair. But I'm just sick of these people being so suppressed and ruining life. Like, get that Pride flag out. Come to the Stonewall. Come march at Pride. I don't give a. Just stop ruining my life. Thank you. Love you guys.

[Jennifer Welch]

I mean, it's just, it is such a great point and we can't speak about it enough that in all it's 2026 and there are a lot of things that we can have government do, like services like the sledgehammer going out here, that's the government fixing some probably broken sidewalk and making the place better. But the Republicans, the MAGA Republicans are hyper consumed with sex. They talk about sex, particularly gay sex. They talk about trans people and gender non stop when none of it, 0% of it affects their pathetic cracker ass dirty bathroom lives. None of it affects it. And the obsession that people in red states have with sex is so weird. I'll never quit talking about it. I firmly believe that there is a huge DL demon queen problem with a lot of MAGA leaders right now. I also think a lot of them have been aroused by the sight of a rock hard penis while watching porn and they feel some sort of gayness about that. And instead of going well that's kind of up. Who knew I had a little bit of buy in me. And moves on with their life. Then they want to terrorize everybody. And in MAGA is a death cult. They are a party that wants to terrorize people. They are emotional and psychological terrorists. Then their terrorism has led to now shooting people, shooting a mother with a lab in the back of a car calling her a. It's just, I mean it's just gross the hatred that these people have because they can't be be who they want to be or because they're so abused or broken. Just grow up. Everybody's had to go to therapy. We just talked about pumps journey. I've been to therapy. Grow up and let people be who they want to be. For sake. Somebody being gay is not about you.

[Pumps]

Right?

[Jennifer Welch]

The narcissism that these people have is unbelievable. It's unbelievable. Somebody being gay or straight or bi or trans or gender fluid or using a pronoun has nothing, nothing to do with you. Nothing. Just like you being a psychotic triple trumper freak show. It has nothing to do with me. I don't identify with you. I don't take ownership in that. I'm not going to offer you an off ramp. You can go triple trump in your dump truck and read Leviticus to each other. Because I want nothing to do with your dip low IQ teeny weeny brain. Nothing.

[Pumps]

0, 100% right. I co sign everything you just said and I think if I'm not mistaken, Tennessee, the state house or senate and maybe they did pass it where you can marry at 12 or they were trying to pass it. Like these people want to be the worst kind of people and tell everybody else how to live their lives. They want to say how great they are in their family values. They at the same time they don't give a fuck what is actually happening to people and suffering. And it is unbelievable to me yet very believable. I feel like people's rights have gone so far backward like from the difference between like 2010 or like let's say 2000 to 2010. That was a huge. We're going backwards. I mean we are. The clock is going backwards and that's why we have to be loud and proud.

[Jennifer Welch]

Yeah. And the, the thing that really irritates me a lot about the white people that the suburban white people I was speaking about earlier that try to have the perfect family image. They in that image a lot of people that I know, particularly in Oklahoma will try to play both sides. They'll play the, oh, we're cool and we've got gay friends and you know, we, we're independents, we're moderates, we're socially liberal and fiscally conservative and they're not. It's a total lie. They want the appearance of being cool and open minded, but deep down they're not. Deep down, Trump and that movement speaks to an inner hatred in them and an inferiority that they have that they try to reconcile with the voting booth by demeaning and further marginalizing people. And it is willful. It is willful cruelty. And I just am not one of these people that is going to let the party of personal accountability, personal responsibility. I'm not going to let those people off the hook. I'm not. There's no off ramp for you to come play in my sandbox. I'm not going to throw, give you a trophy or throw a parade for you because you were able to see that evil is evil and that a liar is a liar and that a man who incited an insurrection is a criminal. A man that was found guilty is a criminal. I just, I'm sorry, I'm just not at 51 years old gonna sit and go, oh my God, I'm so sorry you were conned. Shut the up. I'm sorry. You're a dumbass stupid that willfully chose, willfully chose this because the appetite for cruelty in these people is insatiable until the cruelty affects them or somebody that's genetically connected to them. Other than that, they don't give a about anybody. So the off ramp, I'm so tired of hearing we got to offer these people an offer. They're never going to vote for Democrats. You think they're going to vote for gay people or gay rights? These people won't even vote for their own kids. Republicans that have gay fids. Kids do not vote for their kids. And so I'm supposed to think that there, there's some off ramp for that we're supposed to offer them. I'm out. I'm not doing it. They can go to the Facebook doctors and the Facebook therapist. I'm not doing it. I'm not.

[Pumps]

No, I agree. And I was, you know, it's, I feel like it's made me like mad, mad like, okay, you, you wanted this, you got it. Yesterday I went to buy bread. I mean, I was buying other stuff, but there was a loaf of bread that was $9 and we're talking basic, just basic white bread was $9.25. I didn't buy it, but it was for sale. But I thought you all wanted Trump because he's so good with the economy. You were so worried about grocery prices.

[Jennifer Welch]

It was never about that. Right.

[Pumps]

Like, here's your $9 loaf of bread. Shove it so far up your ass like, you wanted it, you got it. And so part of me was like, there was a. There was just a little fraction of, like, that. I got a little joy that somebody was gonna have to pay $9 that voted for Trump. And then I just thought, you're a terrible person. Like, it's still terrible.

[Jennifer Welch]

Yeah. And that's the part where. That's where you have to be cautious, because I don't want to give these people an offering, but I want them to have fucking health care. I want them to have affordable groceries. I want them to have universal health care. Their gay kids.

[Pumps]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Welch]

To live in a place where they are equal. I want their potential future trans grandchildren to be treated equally and humanely under the eyes of the law. I do not want these people to suffer. However, I do not want them to play in my f. Sandbox, because, to quote Kendrick Lamar, they not like us. I am not like you. I am not like those people. I get no joy knowing that you're suffering at your own ignorance. But I do not wish to hang out or play with people like this. Like, I physically and pumps can attest to this. I physically do not like being around evangelical maga people and pumps will tell you. I mean, I get like. I mean, I. I can't do it. I am. I am constitutionally incapable of being morally duplicitous. It is not something I am able to do. My conviction in universal human rights is so strong that I cannot feign, like, a lot of kindness around a big group of white evangelical triple trumpers. I can't, because I just sit there and think, you're all freaks. You're hateful. You can smile again. Oh, my God. Hi, Jennifer. Josh. Oh, you want Joshua? Cram it up your ass, Debbie. You know, like, I know. I know. When I'm not here, you're like, she's a fucking crazy communist liberal. I know it. Just say to my face at least, I kind of respect you. But don't act like we're friends. Don't act like we share anything in common, because we fucking don't. We have zero in common. We'll never have anything in common ever. And I take so much pride in being a completely different person than you are and that I don't have to fake. I don't have to Be a fake phony person and go through life with a veneer and feigning. I just, I, I, I'm not, I'm not cut out for that. And after 11, 12 years of dump truck, I'm. It's made, it's worse. I'm like hell on wheels. So I had to move to New York. I couldn't take it anymore. Bible thumpers. I seriously can't. It's just too much. It's more than I can take now.

[Pumps]

I mean, you're 100% right it in what's so. But I think that your strength in that I know that, like when I'm around you, it makes me more conscious to set boundaries. So there's, I think it's good because then it helps me see where I need to have more conviction and stand up. I mean, I, it's like leadership starts at the top. You're like the corgi. You know what I mean? Like seeing your conviction, you know, it's like a thousand little paper cuts over 20 years. Like, you stick with something you think makes you stronger. It makes you think it changes behavior. So I appreciate that in you. I think it's a very admirable quality.

[Jennifer Welch]

Thank you. Thank you very much for that, I believe. Did we only do one voice memoir?

[Pumps]

No, we did two.

[Jennifer Welch]

We did. We had the gay trio and then the elevator. Okay, so that's good. All right. Kylie, what about you? Are you offering an off ramp for triple trumpers?

[Kylie]

I'm not. And Humps is right. Everyone can take a lesson from big

[Jennifer Welch]

fat Jennifer Welch, the big big corgi. Yep.

[Kylie]

And learn how to, to be pretty blunt with these people. You have really good boundaries set, Jen.

[Pumps]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Welch]

Thank you.

[Kylie]

You do.

[Jennifer Welch]

Thank you. I, I, I think that my time trying to fit in with a bunch of phony peers of mine that claim to be, you know, so loving and Christlike and all of this in high school and junior high. And they were all just, I mean, just broken like everybody else is. But evangelicals seem to be extra broken, if you get my drift, as the aforement crack and spanky situation. When Pumps was an evangelical, she fit into my script. Like my idea that I had about evangelicals, Pumps was, I was like, of course he hookers. Of course he's smoking crack with hookers in his license plate says spank. You haven't had an evangelical friend since high school because they're such hypocrites. And then the one friend, evangelical Bible thumper, an adult husband is a crack hooker smoker. Are you Serious. Of course. It was, like, right on script.

[Kylie]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Welch]

But anyway. But in between that time, I hung out, and I still have, like, the best gay friends, and in the 90s, I had just. When I went to the University of Oklahoma, just a gaggle of gays. And the way the evangelicals treat gay people and the way their families treated them, it just left a huge impression on me. And it was something that. It was. My mother was always so gracious and kind and no judgment. She always would say, really common sense stuff. Like, well, darling, who in their right mind would choose to be gay in the middle of the Bible belt? And it was just common sense stuff. And she was like, you know, these people are nuts and they're mean, and they use religion to justify being mean. So that was, like, the thing that I was indoctrinated in common sense. Radical accept deception, radical empathy. And so when I see In. When I see these people doing it, picking on gay people, it makes me mad. And I'm just. I'm a big, fat corgi.

[Kylie]

You are.

[Jennifer Welch]

How about big? I love. Now I'll be a big fat. I love that. Corgi. Yes.

[Pumps]

The ears are great.

[Jennifer Welch]

Corgi. I want a corgi. I mean, I. I think I'll always have Frenchies, but I flirted with corgis.

[Pumps]

You did?

[Jennifer Welch]

Yeah. I flirted because I like a little short leg.

[Pumps]

Huh?

[Jennifer Welch]

And Corgis, when they walk, they're buses. I mean. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, you're big, fine woman. Once you back. I see him in Manhattan and the corgis just. And I just. I immediately. That song back. That thing that just goes in my head. But I have it on all day because I've seen some corgi's ass just. Just sashaying and shantang from side to side, and I love it. I love. I love that corgi, and I love the LGBTQ+ community, and I love everybody who stands for universal human rights. And I hate the triple trumpers. And you're not getting an offering. You can go join your own little therapy group. Go deprogram yourselves, do some atonement. Then you have to take a polygram, polygraph, and true serum for me to even remotely consider an off ramp. And then we'll put you on deck before you get to the ramp.

[Pumps]

I do think this. And this is just based. This is what I think, because I have been a Republican evangelical, I. I will offer an off ramp, but your actions and your words have to match. You have to stand up and admit that you were wrong. And. And not just words, but act that way too.

[Kylie]

And they have to pay you. Is that right?

[Pumps]

And then I'm gonna have a Griffin deal with that and I'm gonna. And my Venmo is.

[Jennifer Welch]

Yeah, I want. I'll let you do that. And then I'll be the final. I'll be Judge Judy.

[Pumps]

No, you can be the corgi.

[Jennifer Welch]

What about the people? What about, like, I'll be Doug Llewellyn. I'll be Doug Llewellyn of the People's Court?

[Pumps]

Yes. Like, what do you think? Here's the action. And then you can make a judgment on. Do you dunk them or not? What? Remember when you threw the ball and you hit the target and the person dropped in the water?

[Kylie]

No dunking.

[Jennifer Welch]

Is that what that was called?

[Pumps]

Been a minute.

[Jennifer Welch]

Here's the deal, here's the deal. There's, like, I'm trying to talk to people less. I'm trying to have less people in my life. And again, this was something I decided a few years ago. And then I read an article that it was like, the healthier you get, the smaller your circle becomes. The healthier you get, the fewer friends you have. And so I was like, hm, interesting. The science is catching up here yet again. So always seems to be happening. But I'm really not interested in expanding my circle. Like, I went through your with you pumps, and I'm so happy that you're deprogrammed and I'm. I'm so happy that you're still on that journey. But. But it's. I don't have the patience to do it again with another person.

[Pumps]

No. Oh, I agree. I'm not like, I'm talking, like, just in general for people like. No, I'm not offering new friends by any stretch.

[Jennifer Welch]

All right, I think that's all we have today. Is that all? Kylie, leave us a voice memo on our Instagram and we will see you on Tuesday or Thursday.

[Molly]

Tell you what I've had it with.

[Jennifer Welch]

Let's hear it. I've had it with that. Listen up, patriots, gaytriots and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday. Every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America. Always served with a side of petty grievances.

[Pumps]

We are on all the available platforms. Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcast and YouTube.

[Jennifer Welch]

Please go, rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind. Pumps. Pumps. What does an eagle say?

[Pumps]

Caca.

[Jennifer Welch]

A little bit more enthusiasm. That's it.

[Pumps]

That's.

[Jennifer Welch]

That's. That's the patriotism that this. This country means right there.