Schlapp My Ass and Call Me a Patriot

Summary

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I've Had It – Episode Summary

Episode Title: Schlapp My Ass and Call Me a Patriot
Podcast: I’ve Had It
Hosts: Jennifer Welch & Angie "Pumps" Sullivan
Guest: Kylie
Release Date: July 28, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively and candid episode, Jennifer, Angie ("Pumps"), and recurring guest Kylie take listeners on a comedic, sometimes irreverent ride through all the things they’ve recently “had it” with. They sound off on everything from frustrating pharmaceutical packaging and the insanity of email spam to political correctness in fashion terms, wild self-appointed "faith healers," and the controversial "boy mom" phenomenon. The trio's signature mix of humor, real talk, and unapologetic honesty is in full force as they dissect modern annoyances—and take a few pointed shots at American culture along the way.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Frustrating Pharmaceutical Packaging & Health Care Rants

[01:21–03:54]

• Angie vents about the “impossible” packaging on dog antibiotics:
  “For me to access the medication that I give my dog every day, twice a day, I have to cut the top. Cut all around, cut the top. I have to take my zit tools and dig out the pill.” (01:38)
• She believes pharmaceutical companies don’t actually want people to use their products, based on how hard they are to open.
• Jennifer relates this to excessive packaging on kids' Christmas toys and broader frustration with the health care system:
  “The pill popping in the United States of America, whether it be animal or human being, is just, I could do a whole, an entire episode on it.” (04:33)

2. The Plague of Promotional Emails

[05:45–09:43]

• Jennifer bemoans “email terrorism” from retailers post-purchase, even when she opts out at checkout:
  “Despite the unchecking, they've continued. Here's a survey on the item you bought... I’m in the trenches taking grenades from this company.” (05:54)
• She’s especially irked by the false claim that it takes 48 hours to unsubscribe:
  “This will take 48 hours to update, which is total and a pathological lie... in the ensuing 48 hours, six emails per day, 12 additional nukes to my inbox.” (06:51)
• Angie confirms this is a universal experience,
  “You unsubscribe twice. I have never in my life heard of being unsubscribed... it'll take 48 hours.” (07:46)
• Both admit that convenience often wins out, so they keep patronizing these companies despite their frustrations.

3. Political Correctness: 'Wife Beater' vs. 'Wife Pleaser'

[09:53–13:49]

• Kylie brings up being told that “wife beaters” (tank tops) are to be called “wife pleasers”—and firmly rejects the new term:
  “I don’t want to fucking call it a wife pleaser and I don’t think I’m going to. And that might make me sound maga, but I think that’s fucking stupid.” (10:23)
• Jennifer supports Kylie, critiquing over-policing language:
  “…the over policing of all of the language in some instances is helpful, but sometimes I think it goes on steroids and then it makes everybody hate the left because nobody likes a hall monitor... I call them wife beaters. I wear wife beaters.” (11:01 & 11:26)
• The group agrees that while domestic violence is abhorrent, changing the term for tank tops is performative and doesn’t help real issues.
• Angie worries excessive “hall monitoring” actually dilutes outrage over genuinely offensive things:
  “If we’re hall monitoring on everything, then when we are voraciously against something, it’s diminished…” (12:21)
• Kylie: “Wife pleaser is really stupid to me. I’m not saying that.” (13:49)

4. Anecdotes from Everyday Life: Starbucks Line Etiquette

[14:00–16:12]

• Angie tells a story about a woman honking aggressively to cut into a Starbucks line—at first finding her entitled, but then admiring her boldness.
  “My first sin think is, go fuck yourself, you entitled cat. That’s my first thought. Then ... I kind of dig it. She’s just like, you, I need my coffee.” (14:36)
• Jennifer says she’d let the person through, but wouldn’t behave that way herself.
• The group reflects on being accommodating vs. standing up for yourself in public spaces.

5. Audience Feedback: 'Slap My Ass and Call Me a Patriot'

[16:12–16:45]

• Listeners share reactions on past episodes; one coins the phrase that inspired the episode title.
• Jennifer: “I love, love, love irreverent humor like that. And I. And I love blasphemy. Both of those things I love so much.” (16:45)

6. Viral Video: Wild Faith Healer Exploits

[21:24–27:33]

• The hosts play and discuss a viral clip of Apostle Katherine Crick at a book signing, where attendees convulse after her “touch.”
• Jennifer is unsparing:
  “America has a crazy Christian problem. Those people are off their rockers and are not contributing members to society... they need to be in straight jackets and padded cells. Clip it, post it... I don’t give a.” (22:34)
• They point out Crick’s dubious credentials (“demon removal specialist”), her acting background, and her monetization schemes, including “miracle” cures for everything from homosexuality to “anger from rejection in the womb.”
• Angie, summing up:
  “She went out there, she couldn’t be an actress and says she’s like, what’s the best and fastest way to make a ton of money, not pay taxes, put my acting skills to use and have zero accountability. I know I’ll start a church. And she wasn’t wrong.” (26:16)

7. "Boy Mom" Culture and Unhealthy Attachments

[27:55–36:43]

• The hosts unpack the backlash to actress Jenny Mullen’s “boy mom” Instagram post (“Your eldest son will be the most toxic man you ever date.”) and her subsequent substack essay.
• Angie reflects on her own “boy mom” behavior and how it wasn’t healthy:
  “It kept him immature longer because I’m fighting his battles, I’m doing his homework, all the things. Luckily he was able to overcome my piss poor parenting and now is… a functioning adult.” (29:36)
• Jennifer stresses the importance of teaching autonomy, not fostering unhealthy lifetime attachments:
  “You borrow your children during their childhood and you mold them, but the number one thing you have to do is to teach them to be autonomous. Autonomy is the lesson.” (33:48)
• Both condemn enmeshed moms who treat their children—especially sons—as surrogates for their own emotional needs, calling it “fundamentally fucked up.”
• Angie: “Adult children don’t want their primary relationship to be with their mother. I don’t. I just, I think it’s weird. I think the whole thing is fucked up.” (33:08)
• Jennifer describes her own boundaries as a parent: “If you vape, that's your business. Don’t do it in front of me. That’s disrespectful and I’m not buying them for you… I don’t want to talk to you about your sex life other than don’t get anybody pregnant, don’t get an STD and consent only.” (36:12)

8. Learning Better Parenting Through Therapy

[36:43–37:48]

• Angie shares a personal revelation from therapy:
  “The therapist goes, why is he expected to want what you want? He’s a completely different person than you. He might not want that. And honest to God, that was the first time that I actually was like, I’ve been doing… I mean, I remember it as clear as crystal…” (36:45)

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Memorable Quotes

• Jennifer: “America, pill popping culture is nuts. It’s nuts.” (04:45)
• Jennifer: “It’s a lot of these retailers are abusive husbands and the consumers are the battered wives. I want some appreciation from corporate America…” (08:21)
• Kylie: “I don’t want to fucking call it a wife pleaser and I don’t think I’m going to.” (10:23)
• Jennifer: “Those little micro conversations... I just, I give up. I just, I give the up.” (11:54)
• Jennifer: “America has a crazy Christian problem. Those people are off their rockers...” (22:34)
• Angie: “She went out there, she couldn’t be an actress...I know I’ll start a church. And she wasn’t wrong.” (26:16)
• Jennifer: “Autonomy is the lesson. Teaching them that life is disappointing. Teaching them to embrace boredom, teaching them to face rejection...” (33:48)
• Angie: “Adult children don’t want their primary relationship to be with their mother...I just, I think it’s weird. I think the whole thing is fucked up.” (33:08)

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Timestamps for Highlights

• [01:21] – Angie’s rant about impossible pill packaging
• [03:54] – Jennifer on America’s pill-popping & doctor overprescribing
• [05:45] – Jennifer’s “email terrorism” complaint
• [09:53] – Kylie introduces the “wife beater” vs. “wife pleaser” debate
• [14:00] – Angie’s Starbucks horn story
• [21:24] – Viral faith healer video and critique
• [27:55] – “Boy mom” controversy dissected
• [36:43] – Angie’s therapy insight on parenting

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Tone & Style

• Conversational, often irreverent and brutally honest, laced with humor and a dash of ranty exasperation.
• Adult language, unapologetic (e.g., “go fuck yourself, you entitled cat,” “I don’t give a [expletive]”).
• Critical of corporate and political culture, but self-aware of their own contradictions and flaws.

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Bottom Line

“I’ve Had It” continues its tradition of tackling life’s everyday headaches and larger social absurdities with uninhibited candor. This episode skewers everything from pharmaceutical greed and digital harassment to language policing and questionable parenting trends—while making room for laugh-out-loud rants, sharp social commentary, and the hosts’ signature blend of hard truths and humor.

Transcript

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[Jennifer]

so we supposed to start the podcast.

[Angie]

Ready? 1, 2, 3 patriots, gay traits Patriots,

[Jennifer]

Black Trio, Brown Trios and any of the triots we leave off, we love you and all of the fascists can do what Pumps. All right, pumps. What have you had it with?

[Angie]

Okay, what I've had it with is pharmaceutical companies. You would think I would be talking about the Sacklers, but not today. This is a different pharmaceutical company. So my dog Tilly, the one who I've had it with about the overnights, who hasn't done it since then. So I think maybe she's cured. She okay? She's been on antibiotics for two weeks. She has another two weeks to go because she has an upper respiratory infection. So when we switch the antibiotics, they give me the pills. Here's how the pills come. No perforation. You cannot pop the pill out of the tinfoil. Deal. It's like triple reinforced tinfoil. So for me to access the medication that I give my dog every day, twice a day, I have to cut the top. Cut all around, cut the top. I have to take my zit tools and dig out the pill before I can give it to her. And my thought is they don't want their products to be taken. They want to manufacture antibiotics. They want it to be prescribed. But they don't want anybody to benefit because they don't want you to be able to take a pill out of the packaging. It has been driving me crazy. Twice a day I had it. If you're going to make something that you know is going to be dispensed, make it accessible without scissors and zit tools.

[Jennifer]

This is the exact same thing when our kids were little and trying to open up these toys and assemble them on Christmas Eve to have them ready under the tree. It's like, did somebody have a round table meeting where it's like, okay, here's how we're going to do packaging. And then people overdo it. Kind of like these Apple updates where they're making things more and more difficult. I, I, the opening of packages or medications in your case is so incredibly frustrating because they make it incredibly difficult to do it, to penetrate the product that you paid for, to use it and access it.

[Angie]

Yeah, it blows my mind. It completely blows my mind. And I said something to the vet when she had her last checkup. I was like, what the is going on? Do they not want the dogs to take the medicine? And she said, I started prescribing the generic, but it's the exact same packaging. So that's a whole collusion we haven't even talked about. But the whole thing is that this is, it shouldn't be this hard.

[Jennifer]

I have so many problems with pharmaceutical companies and the way the United States, the whole health care system, I could do a whole episode on it. The amount of people that take prescription medications that they don't need is insane. The amount of people that, it's so insane, you go to a doctor and the doctor has been hustled and wined and dined by a pharmaceutical rep to sell their product. And then a person goes in and the immediate thing is here, here's a, here's a pill you need to take. The evidence that people are way over medicated in America is just unbelievable. And it's all for profit. And then, I don't know, I'm sure they're running some racket in the dog and cat veterinary clinic just like they are with the people. But the pill popping in the United States of America, whether it be animal or human being, is just, I could do a whole, an entire episode on it. I could furthermore, do an entire episode on how physicians in the United States, their first thing is, is to pull out their pad and a pen and write a script instead of actually treating and be preventative and talk about lifestyle issues and things that are more sustainable. But oftentimes in the United States, you have a pill and then it has all of these side effects and then there's a whole new market, right, where there's a new drug that helps you mitigate the side effects from the first pill. It's insane. It is just utterly insane. America, pill popping culture is nuts. It's nuts. All right. I have had it with. As you all know, I'm in a long lifetime battle with email terrorism.

[Angie]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

And it's something that I battle every day, about three or four times a day. And my email address gets on list that I didn't sign up for. I purchased something and only to be punished by the retailer by then. They harass me and terrorize me via email. So I recently purchased something for my new apartment from a company. And I know when I checked out, it's like, sign up for our, you know, savings email terrorism blasts. And I was like, uncheck, want no part of this. Despite the unchecking, they've continued. Here's a survey on the item you bought. Here's this, here's that, here's this, here's that, here's that. So I go in, I'm in the trenches taking grenades from this company, right? I'm talking, I'm like eight emails deep after I purchased like some towel hooks. Something incredibly pedestrian.

[Angie]

All right?

[Jennifer]

Something you would never write a review about unless you're a complete whack job, bored to tears. So I unsubscribe and then it pops up. Thank you. We're sorry to see you go. Thank you for unsubscribing. This will take 48 hours to update, which is total and a pathological lie. And I want to start a class action lawsuit in my spare time. Because other companies you can unsubscribe and it's immediate, Right. This is a racket where they are belaboring the terrorism. 48 additional hours. So in those 48 hours after I declined the survey, I don't want to write a review. I don't want to give it a star rating. I don't want to talk about the product. I don't want. I wanted to buy it and then it, I wanted it to end. I unsubscribe, and in the ensuing 48 hours, six emails per day, 12 additional nukes to my inbox.

[Angie]

That's bad. Yeah, that's really bad. Especially because, like you said, I have had that happen a million times. Here's what I hate is you put the unsubscribe when you're checking out, but they have your email for billing, so then they keep emailing you. So you unsubscribe twice. I have never in my life heard of being unsubscribed. Unsubscribing It'll take 48 hours.

[Jennifer]

48 hours to update. 40, 48 hours to update. And, and that was a complete lie because they just wanted to terrorize me more.

[Angie]

Yeah, I just want to see if they could hook you. Yeah, they are.

[Jennifer]

It's a lot of these retailers are abusive husbands and the consumers are the battered wives. I want some appreciation from corporate America, who I have zero faith in at all. But at least, like, if we don't want to be emailed, don't email us. Like, isn't it such a gift that somebody could just, hi, I want your service. Here's the money, let's end it. But everything's a hustle, everything's a shakedown, everything's a harassment. And I just, I, I, it makes me hate the digital world completely because we've all been reduced to our data.

[Angie]

There's no question about that. Let me ask you this. Will you ever buy anything from that company again?

[Jennifer]

If I need it, I probably will. Okay, see, that's the problem. That's the, that's, I'm just being honest. I would love to say, no, I am never going to shop at that company again. But if I go to look for a product and it's like, you know, a four week lead time on another website, but this particular company has it immediately, within a day, the instant gratification person in me, impulsive, short sighted, retail therapy junkie out the wazoo, I will be like, tap the vein, hit it. And I'll be like, roll up my sleeves. Come on, let's go with the emails. I'm ready. I'm locked and loaded. Let's go.

[Angie]

At least this time you're ready. I've done that so many times. I am never buying from them again. Ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. Yeah, it's always a cave.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

All right.

[Jennifer]

Welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer.

[Angie]

I'm Angie.

[Jennifer]

Kylie.

[Kylie]

Hi, you guys. I have a habit that I've been thinking about.

[Jennifer]

Oh, let's hear it. That's just a good spin.

[Kylie]

I know. I, and I think I'm gonna step in it.

[Angie]

Okay.

[Kylie]

So I might sound like a boomer. I've been like, do I bring it up? So we'll just work through it on.

[Angie]

Okay.

[Kylie]

Live. Okay. So you know, I wear a lot of tight white ribbed tank tops. You do too. And those are called wife beaters.

[Jennifer]

Wife beaters.

[Kylie]

I was at a fundraising event. I was talking to this nice guy. He was talking about a place he likes to shop, and he was like, yeah, I was there and I bought a bunch of wife pleasers and I really like them and it took my brain a second, I said, did you say wife pleasers? He said, yeah, that's what you're supposed to call them. Now I don't want to fucking call it a wife pleaser and I don't think I'm going to. And that might make me sound maga, but I think that's fucking stupid. And it's been bothering me.

[Angie]

That would bother me.

[Kylie]

What do you think?

[Jennifer]

I'm Team Kylie.

[Kylie]

Thank you.

[Angie]

Hey, I mean, we're not going to be politically correct about a tank top for sake.

[Jennifer]

I mean, it's just, this is the thing, like, then a person on the other end of this is going to go. Domestic violence and assault is horrible. And I completely agree. It's absolutely terrible. This is a figure of speech and I just think sometimes the over policing of all of the language in some instances is helpful, but sometimes I think it goes on steroids and then it makes everybody hate the left because nobody likes a hall monitor. Nobody likes a little snitch, a little tattletale. And so I, I call them wife beaters. I wear wife beaters. They've been a staple in my wardrobe for decades. I'm going to continue to call them wife beaters. We're probably all three going to get canceled. And I just want to say it's been great working with this was fun.

[Angie]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

And I just want to say we do oppose with everything in us, domestic violence, vote accordingly. All of our platform, you know, we want to prop up women as best we can. But I just. Those little micro conversations that happen, like people lecturing us about calling J.D. vance A. Don't use that word. I'm just like, I give up. I just, I give the up.

[Angie]

And don't you think if you like, if you want to, you call out wife beaters now they're wife pleasers. And you can't call J.D. vance a pussy and all that shit. Then it diminishes when something is really offensive. If we're hall monitoring on everything, then when we are voraciously against something, it's diminished because it's like they're mad about wife pleasers versus wife beater, kind of. Or am I off base on that?

[Jennifer]

No, I, I see it, I, I, I just, I think that sometimes stuff just goes a little bit too far. And I think these are the things that are said in spaces where people want to be politically engaged but their life isn't directly impacted by A lot of the things that. That Republican politics do, and I think a lot of this is born out of white latte liberal culture. And calling that shirt a wife beater is just kind of. I mean, I don't know. I mean, I can. I know what's happening on the other end of this right now as we say this. I just. I know it. I'm just not a petty person about like this. I. I agree. I'm Team Kylie on this. I just. I can't call it a wife pleaser.

[Kylie]

That's my thing. Come up with a better name if

[Jennifer]

we have to fix it.

[Kylie]

Wife pleaser is really stupid to me. I'm not saying that.

[Jennifer]

That's every. I mean, and that's like, what's a wife pleaser? Was that.

[Angie]

Okay, I have a story I want to run by you in this kind of the same vein.

[Jennifer]

Okay.

[Angie]

So yesterday I'm sitting at a light. It's like three o'. Clock. All of a sudden it's. I'm in the turn lane. All of a sudden, this woman is coming. She is going the opposite direction and she's has her blinker on. So she's wanting to turn into our lane and go into a Starbucks, is what I ultimately find out. This woman, it's too. I'm the lane closest to the entrance, there's another lane. Then there's her going the other direction. She lays on that horn and it's

[Jennifer]

just like,

[Angie]

I don't even know what's happening. I'm like, who's she honking at? Is it me? Well, I realize that she wants the people in my lane, in the lane next to me, to give her an opening into the Starbucks. So I'm just like, whatever. So as I'm. My first sin think is, go fuck yourself, you entitled cat. That's my first thought. Then as I'm driving, I kind of think. I kind of dig it. I mean, she's just like, you, I need my coffee. I don't care if everybody in their cars is. Is inconvenienced, is put out, that I'm honking at him, that I look like an. I want my coffee and I want it now. So then I kind of like, was like, I don't know how I land on it. What do you. I don't like if.

[Jennifer]

If somebody did that to me and I'm there and she wanted to get through, I would try to facilitate the person getting through.

[Angie]

I did.

[Kylie]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

I wouldn't be mad about that at all. I'd be like, okay, she's trying to get through. And then I would. Would I do that? Probably not. I probably wouldn't do that. I would, like, go. I would go down and turn around so I could make a right turn in it because I don't like to inconvenience people. But on the same token, I wouldn't feel inconvenienced if she did that. I'd be like, oh, oh, gotcha. And I'd kind of like wave them through.

[Angie]

Yeah, I did that too. But I was the only one that could that moved. So I don't know, I just, I had such mixed emotions.

[Kylie]

Okay, I've got a couple comments from Spotify we can fly through here. On recent episodes the past few weeks, Roxy says, well, slap my ass and call me a patriot. This episode was hilarious. And I like that saying. Jen, I think you could kind of fit that into your vocabulary. Ian says, can we get Mima on Unjuiced Day, please? Which I think, yes.

[Angie]

That's the obvious answer.

[Kylie]

Yes. And then Tiffany says, I'm late to the party, but y' all missed a huge opportunity by not saying black down.

[Jennifer]

Oh my God. Oh my God. Tiffany. Tiffany. That is so. I'm so mad that we didn't black down. Oh my God, Lady Graham. That is so good. I love, love, love irreverent humor like that. And I. And I love blasphemy. Both of those things I love so much.

[Angie]

It's right in the sweet spot.

[Jennifer]

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[Angie]

All right.

[Jennifer]

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[Jennifer]

okay, we have some news stories here. A video from a book signing event is going viral and we keep getting tagged in it. Here is a clip from a Apostle Katherine Cricks book signing event in Texas. Play the clip. Okay. For those of you that are listening, these people are like convulsive and falling over after this gal touches them. And it's just a very pedestrian looking white woman that's touching them. She doesn't look like a wizard or. Yeah, she looks like a woman that's kind of from Texas in America.

[Angie]

I think by far, by far because of the hunger.

[Jennifer]

We're talking in tongues.

[Angie]

I was gonna say I hear tongue talking.

[Jennifer]

Jesus Christ. I these crazy Christians and I mean and then the right's gonna go after us. I would like to welcome the Fox News producers, the New York Post producers, the right wing media far like crack cocaine level ecosystem that will watch our podcast every day for content. Here's what I have to say about that. America has a crazy Christian problem. Those people are off their rockers and are not contributing members to society that is beyond the pale. They need to be in straight jackets and padded cells. Clip it, post it, go viral, put me on the front page. I don't give a. I lived in the Bible belt. These people are nuts and they need help. They need to get off the church tit where it is actually them giving to the church over and over and over and over and over again. And the church enables them to be crazy dipshits. Clip it, Jesse. Run with it. Swing for the fences. America has a crazy Christian problem.

[Angie]

And that and that video is exhibit a of 1 million of those. And when, when I'm seeing all that, I'm like that's basically they're one step behind that. What goes on in the tongue talking circles in the White House parking lot and then the prayer circles before this is going on in the highest levels of government and it's the dumbest people on the planet that are clearly misguided mentally. I don't know what's going on there, but it's not healthy.

[Jennifer]

Here's something else that gets the right wing wound up. Religious addiction. They clipped me all up when I said that there's such a thing called religious addiction and it is a very real thing. Katherine Crick is a self described apostle, faith leader and demon removal specialist who leads Fivefold Church in Los Angeles. So to pump this point that these people are dumb, there is no such thing as a faith healer or a demon removal specialist. Those are made up things. That is a job that these are not real professions. What she is is a thief and a liar. She's lying to these people and stealing their money. According to her own official biography, she came to LA to pursue acting. When that failed, she then pivoted to becoming a Christian singer. In 2016, a prophet told her that God had selected her to be an apostle who would perform shocking miracles. And I just want to say that conversation never took place. So she abandoned music and opened a church. Here is an actual paragraph from her own biography page. Mike Johnson's got some competition with this thing. All right, pop this up. God has called you to be an apostle of Jesus Christ. You were called to reach the nations of God will do many shocking miracles through you. Upon hearing that word, she felt like Moses. Unqualified, unable to speak, and unable to picture herself ministering. But she had faith that God would equip her and she wanted to obey him above all else. She obeyed God's call to and put her music career pursuit aside. Okay, everything that is read to you. She is a compulsive liar. She is a liar. This conversation never took place. She never felt like Moses. All of that is made up. I don't have evidence to tell you it's made up, but I know it with everything in me.

[Angie]

Well, the evidence is that that's not real, in my opinion. Here's. Here's the thing. Here's what she did. She went out there, she couldn't be an actress and says she's like, what's the best and fastest way to make a ton of money, not pay taxes, put my acting skills to use and have zero accountability. I know I'll start a church. And she wasn't wrong.

[Jennifer]

She sells an eight session course in removing demons, so she's marketing the demon removal. So here's Here you too can be a demon removal specialist. All you have to do is buy her eight session course. And you too could add that to your Instagram profile. She says miracles are free, but money is part of obedience. She has cured many people on the spot from many demons, such as autism, homosexuality, high blood pressure, pre diabetes, long Covid symptoms, seasonal allergies, anger supposedly originating from rejection in the womb, generational witchcraft and death. The one I want to focus on here is anger originating from rejection in the womb.

[Angie]

Yeah, I don't get that. I don't get a lot of these

[Jennifer]

do we know what the rejection in the womb is?

[Kylie]

Yeah, I got a definition. It's definitely like a spiritual term. Says it suggests that feelings of being unwanted during pregnancy leave deep emotional imprints, which later manifest as anger, trust issues and hyper reactivity to rejection.

[Jennifer]

Okay, all right. The next story is a viral post by one celebrity woman led to viral outrage and has reignited the conversation of the boy mom. Let's pop this up. We need to talk about boy moms. Jenny Mullen's viral post about her son echoes a long history of mothers who refuse to cut the cord. The writer helps give context to what a boy mom is. My first encounter with a boy mom happened via a Facebook post from a mother with an important message for the teen girls of social media. From memory, she said something like, stop putting photos of yourselves in bikinis online. They are afflicting my perfect angel sons with lustful thoughts and I'm holding you hussies responsible. My second encounter involved a mother who told me at a toddler's birthday party that her son was the love of her life and she planned to ensure that he became all the things her husband wasn't present, emotionally intelligent, physically affectionate, and gift giving. And then the latest viral example of this came from the author and actress Jenny Mullen, who posted this photo of she and her son on Instagram. Pop this up

[Kylie]

and the caption says, your eldest son will be the most toxic man you ever date. Ew.

[Jennifer]

So there they are, all cuddled up. Thoughts?

[Angie]

Okay, number one, I, early in my parenting, especially with my oldest son, I was this person. Not like I wanted them to be my best friend or anything like that, but like, I mean, you famously remember, like he'd have five friends over, he'd be sitting on my lap, playing with my hair, that kind of thing. I realize that that was such a disservice to, to him. It kept him immature longer because I'm fighting his battles, I'm doing his homework, all the things. Luckily he was able to overcome my piss poor parenting and now is a functioning, high functioning adult that doesn't even live in the same state as me. Okay, but here's the thing. I agree for it's the boy mom, but there's a lot of moms. I think it's mom, girl moms and boy moms that do this. And again, I, I have that from personal experience because I, I did similar with my daughter that I did with my oldest son. By the time the third one got there, I always tell people he's my easiest because all my crazy went to the top two. Because I really didn't have time to make him as nutty as I wanted to be. I wanted him to be because I was too focused on the other two. So I don't think it's. I think you're either this way or not. It doesn't matter what kind of sex the child is.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. I think that there is research though that shows that in CIS people that your relationship with your opposite sex parent can be really defining to the future people that you choose. And I think in that vein, that's what this boy mom article is. I totally agree with you. They're momagers and all of those things. But this is pertaining to like this woman spooning her child and then posting it on the Internet.

[Angie]

Huh? About her toxic boyfriend. Her child.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, okay. A substack essay of Malin's also started circulating during this Internet frenzy and it did not exactly calm people down. The title of her essay is Please stay. I want you. I need you. Oh God. Call me old fashioned, but I only want my sons to marry women with dead mothers. It's my only shot at staying relevant of seemingly useful and winning by comparison. Having boys is a mind. It builds you up only to tear you apart. And then here's some of the responses after that post. Pop this up. Commenters criticized the star, with one saying this is creepy and wildly inappropriate. Another wrote this is so disturbing. While another defended her, pointing out she's not doing anything wrong. That's her son. That's his mom. In conclusion, Salon sums up their take on Mullen and the boys moms with the Boy mom embodies the stalest of beliefs that women become valuable, necessary and complete only in relation to men and must never cede that status. While I suspect social media commentators deluging Mullen with the threats to call CPS won't do anything but make her triple down. The best outcome of this shit show is that she realizes setting her son up for embarrassment in the present and all but ensuring that future partners will never feel like enough isn't something to strive for. Thoughts?

[Angie]

No, I agree with that. I do agree that that is. I just don't think it's healthy again. I've. I've been that parent that wanted to be, you know, the only parent in my kid's life forever. But wanting to replace your child's significant other with your relationship is fundamentally fucked up. I mean, you want your child to be happy in a relationship that's completely autonomous with you. Here's the deal? Adult children don't want their primary relationship to be with their mother. I don't. I just, I think it's weird. I think the whole thing is fucked up.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. I think that the takeaway is so many women that I've known think their children are theirs for life, right. And that's a, an unhealthy attachment, in my opinion. You borrow your children during their childhood and you mold them, but the number one thing you have to do is to teach them to be autonomous. Autonomy is the lesson. Teaching them that life is disappointed, disappointing. Teaching them to embrace boredom, teaching them to face rejection. Instead, these are the mothers that focus only on cupcakes and rainbows. You're so special, you're so great, you're so incredible. And then these are the kids that go off to college and, or go to their jobs and they're completely melting down because nobody's treating them as though they are special because they're just one of 7 billion people on the planet. And so in Oklahoma in particular, I saw a lot of moms that were so toxic and controlling with their kids and like scripted out their kids lives as an extension of their own narcissism. Like this is who I am and this child is in an extension of me and this is, these are the only things they can do. And like, I just think this posting of your child and you spooning online, I mean, my kids would die. I mean like they would just die. I'm a very boundary oriented mother and I just feel like they need one person in their life and maybe I'm not fun in that regard, but I'm willing to take that on because I feel like they need to have a space where there is moral clarity and that me being that home of that. And so I'm not a strict parent by any stretch of the imagination, but I just really feel like in this confusing world of growing up with social media and you know, all of these horrible examples of men and the way the men are treating women and misogyny on the rise, that boundaries are, I would say, the main ethos of my parenting. And my kids just know like, you're not going to have an alcohol party at my house. I'm never going to be the parent that does that.

[Kylie]

I.

[Jennifer]

If you vape, that's your business. Don't do it in front of me. That's disrespectful and I'm not buying them for you. You need condoms, you advocate for yourself and you go get them. I don't want to talk to you about your sex life other than don't get anybody pregnant, don't get an STD and consent only. And I just, that's kind of like my driving ethos with that because those things are theirs and I don't want to enmesh myself in those other than being having like some clarity that these are the boundaries and this is your centering.

[Angie]

This is a funny story. You'll appreciate this.

[Jennifer]

Okay.

[Angie]

I can't remember how old my old oldest was. I'm gonna say 12, maybe 13. Ish. And I was in a therapy session and I was talking about what he wanted and what I wanted. And the therapist goes, why is he expected to want what you want? He's a completely different person than you. He might not want that. And honest to God, that was, that was the first time that I actually was like, I've been doing. I mean, I remember it as clear as crystal sitting in the therapy's office, that that was somehow news to me. That's how I had operated for so long with my mother and then with my kids. Like, I'm sitting there and he says that and I, I'm like, what? What do you mean, what?

[Jennifer]

He gets to live his own life. You know what, he makes decisions he his own life.

[Angie]

He doesn't do what I want him to do. Wait, back the bus up. Let's start that over. I remember it. That's how bad it was.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

All right.

[Jennifer]

That's all we have. We'll see you all later. I'll tell you what I've had it with. Let's hear it. I've had it with that.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

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