Self-Care for Sociopaths

Summary

Podcast Summary: I've Had It

Episode: Self-Care for Sociopaths
Hosts: Jennifer Welch & Angie “Pumps” Sullivan
Date: July 9, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this characteristically candid and comedic episode, Jennifer and Angie (aka “Pumps”) tackle the culture of excess—too many choices, over-the-top parenting, performative self-care, influencer culture, and the chaos of modern dating. Through personal anecdotes, listener submissions, and lively debate, they expose all the things they've "had it" with, weaving together relatable frustrations, sharp humor, and observations about society’s quirks.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Too Many Choices Are Ruining Group Activities

• Multi-View TV Fails: Pumps’ grievance kicks off the episode, lamenting how the idea of watching multiple programs at once with her kids backfires.
  • “I just think we have given people too many choices. You have to pick one. Go in the other room, put on that.” —Angie, [02:07]
• Jennifer points out that Angie’s permissive parenting—giving too many options—often seeds her own frustrations.
  • “All these problems I have with my children, ultimately, I am the cause. I am the problem.” —Angie [03:36]
  • “She’s like, my kids drive me crazy. They are never happy… and it all starts with her giving them too many options.” —Jennifer [04:04]

2. Josh’s ‘Laid-Back’ Persona, Debunked

• Jennifer shares a story about her husband Josh obsessing over the “water closet” sign in an Italian restaurant, spiraling into an unnecessary 15-minute family debate.
  • “He will fixate on one thing and… it just gets in his head…” —Angie, [07:38]
  • “There’s like a little hamster that is just wound up in his ass, just running...” —Jennifer, [09:01]
• The debate continues about who in the group is truly “laid-back.” Ultimately, both agree that their obsessions are over little things, not the things that matter.

3. Children in Adult Spaces & Entitlement

• Listener Linda writes in to complain about children at breweries and inappropriate venues for kids’ parties.
  • “Why are there young children at breweries and bars, especially holding your kid's birthday party at a brewery? I’ve had it!” —Linda (Listener email) [11:27]
• Jennifer and Angie emphatically agree, sharing further stories of children running wild in adult spaces, with parents too enraptured by their own kids.
  • “Nobody gives a about your kids but you. Nobody wants to be around your kids but you.” —Angie, [15:14]
• The hosts bemoan “soft parenting” and a lack of boundaries, noting it disadvantages children in the long run.

4. Over-the-Top Parenting Trends

• The tooth fairy is outdone by the “First Tooth Milestone Party,” replete with floral arrangements and an Instagram photoshoot.
  • “Are we that bored? Are we that stripped of anything to do? ...This is ridiculous.” —Angie, [21:59]
  • Jennifer reminisces about how her mother’s well-meaning but forgetful tooth fairy behavior exposed parental white lies and performative parenting [22:49–24:23].
• The hosts agree that many of these performative celebrations are for social media clout, not the children.

5. The Influence of Influencers and Performative Self-Care

• A wave of listener emails and voice memos prompt debates over influencer-driven advice and wellness fads.
  • Camden’s voice memo:
    • “Being an influencer is not a job. They do not know what they are talking about. …I had it with journaling. What the is that gonna do? Write down three things that you're grateful for. Stick it up your ass.” —Camden, [36:16–37:30]
  • Both Jennifer and Angie draw a distinction between real self-care and what’s promoted performatively on social media.
    • “If you're journaling and it's super important to you, you don't make a Tiktok about it… That's so performative, that's so unrealistic.” —Jennifer, [38:12–39:46]
  • They argue that fixing one’s life is less about mood boards and more about diversifying focus—work, family, self—rather than obsessing over happiness.

6. Leisure, Happiness, and the Unhappiness of Too Much Time

• Citing a Washington Post article, they discuss why increased leisure doesn’t always equal happiness.
  • “Too much time focused on yourself makes you unhappy. You got to think about other stuff and other people to be happy.” —Angie, [31:38]
• They observe that those with too much idle time (e.g., affluent stay-at-home moms with grown kids) often appear the most miserable, obsessed with performative life events.
  • “The unemployed woman with kids that are old enough to go to the bathroom and spend the majority of their days at schools are the most miserable women I've ever met.” —Jennifer, [34:57]

7. Social Media Facades and AI Portraits

• Kelsey (listener) rails against MAGA Facebook users posting glamorous, obviously AI-generated portraits, with commenters pretending it’s real.
  • “Now it's all of these MAGA Christian women…They look about 50 pounds lighter, 20 years younger…their boobs are perky…You've never looked like that in your life.” —Kelsey, [46:51]
  • Jennifer notes, “So much fraudulent activity goes on on social media…I know this gal…She peaked in the 1980s. Every photo she posts is her of the 1980s.” [47:52–48:21]

8. The Madness of Modern Dating

• Listener Will shares a hilarious, heartfelt voice memo about the exhaustion of gay dating these days:
  • “Gay dating has become less about finding a partner… and more about competing in a 24 hour livestock auction of revolving, better abs, worse communication skills, and the emotional availability of a wall…Sir, you live with three roommates, your mattress is on the floor, and your only chair is a pile of laundry. So let’s calm the down about what you want from me.” —Will, [51:28–52:49]
• Angie and Jennifer sympathize, noting that an abundance of options in dating apps has made everyone disposable, and those seeking real connection are left frustrated.
  • “The swiping that nobody ever, like, if the first date isn't just, like, spectacular and fireworks, they just swipe on in the next.” —Angie, [53:47]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “All these problems I have with my children, ultimately, I am the cause. I am the problem.” —Angie, [03:36]
• “There’s like a little hamster that is just wound up in his ass, just running and he just… Yeah, it's a complete lie.” —Jennifer, about Josh, [09:01]
• “Nobody gives a about your kids but you. Nobody wants to be around your kids but you.” —Angie, [15:14]
• “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard… I fear that other people are going to do this because now everything is performative, everything’s on Instagram.” —Angie, about the first tooth party, [21:59]
• “Being an influencer is not a job…what the is journaling gonna do? Stick it up your ass.” —Camden (listener), [36:16–37:30]
• “If you're journaling and it's super important to you, you don't make a TikTok about it.” —Jennifer, [38:12]
• “Sir, you live with three roommates, your mattress is on the floor, and your only chair is a pile of laundry. So let’s calm down about what you want from me.” —Will (listener), [52:40]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Too Many Choices / Multi-View TV: [01:17–05:09]
• Josh’s Water Closet Obsession: [05:21–09:30]
• Kids in Adult Spaces & Soft Parenting: [11:01–16:28]
• Tooth Milestone Party, Performative Parenting: [20:40–24:23]
• Overwrought Influencer Advice & Journaling Rant: [36:03–39:55]
• Leisure and Happiness Discussion: [29:44–35:11]
• AI Portraits & Social Media Fakeness: [46:49–51:11]
• Dating Apps & Listener Will’s Rant: [51:25–54:20]

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Episode Tone & Style

• Unfiltered, direct, hilarious, and self-deprecating.
• Warm listener engagement through stories and voice memos.
• Irreverent language; truth bombs are central to the show’s charm.
• Willing to “call out” friends, family, and themselves.

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Conclusion

With their trademark blend of wit, honesty, and social observation, Jennifer and Angie declare “enough”—whether it’s over-indulged children, social media vanity, or influencer self-care. They champion setting boundaries, embracing the mundane, laughing at life’s chaos, and above all, not taking yourself (or social trends) too seriously.

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If you crave relatable rants, sharp takes on modern culture, and plenty of laughs, this episode has it all.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

so we supposed to start the podcast.

[C]

Ready? One, two, three.

[B]

Patriot that clap. We got to start over.

[C]

That was bad.

[B]

Do it again.

[C]

Ready? One, two, three.

[B]

Better. Much better. Patriots, Gay Trio, Day Trio, Black Trio, Brown Trio. We love you. And all of the triple trumpers can do what? Pumps. Pumps. What have you had it with?

[C]

Okay, what I've had it with, and this drives me crazy, is I thought multi view would be a good thing. Like you get to watch two events at the same time. So if you're in a big group, then everybody's happy. Well, then it turns out you have to get four views because then everybody gets to pick. And it's like, what? Multiview has been ruined by spoiled people. Remember, you just can watch one thing. If you only can watch one thing that we don't have to fight. But when you have a group of people and you're trying to watch something and everybody's like, no, I want to watch this. I want to watch this. And then you have to do multi view. And then no, we can't watch 2. Multi view, we have to watch 4. Then you can't understand anything that's going on. And I just think we have given people too many choices. We've given them too much to choose from. You have to pick one. Go in the other room. Put on that.

[B]

What the people that you're talking about. Are you referring to your children?

[C]

Yes, I am referring to my children. I sure am. It's like, bitch, go in your own room. You have a tv. But no, we all have to argue over what we're watching and you end up not watching anything. So I just think it goes back to we have too many choice choices. People are too spoiled that they always have to get their way. You don't always have to get your Way.

[B]

Knowing you for as long as I have, it surprises me zero that you would sit in a room with your three adult children, meaning four people in total, and facilitate a scenario where you turned your one television screen into four different shows at one time and then allowed the whole thing to go. And then now, days later, we have a ruminating grievance.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Over this. Because spiraled.

[C]

I let it spiral. Instead of just saying, nope, we're watching this. I gave everybody choice. You can't give everybody a choice. Some people. Sometimes you have to make choices for people.

[B]

Isn't it just ridiculous that, what, like one person's watching a movie, one person's watching a football game. One's. I mean, that's. Nothing about that sounds even remotely enjoyable.

[D]

No.

[C]

Because you can only hear one. The whole thing is stupid. The whole thing is stupid.

[B]

Whose idea was it when you were all sitting there to go from one screen to four?

[C]

Of course you have to ask that question. Okay, so we had a confused, you know, we had a debate over who was going to watch which game. And I said, well, let's do the multi view. And then one choice turned into two choices turned into four. And then it turned me into huffing, puffing, and trying to blow everybody's house down. That's what happened. Because I. It was me. You're right. All these problems I have with my children, ultimately, I am the cause. I am the problem, the.

[B]

The listener. This has been going on for decades. She's like, my kids drive me crazy. I hate my kids. They are never happy, they're never satisfied. I've never enough for them. And then she tells me some story and it's, it's. It all starts with her giving, like them too many options or too much. No boundari anything. And then the minute she draws one, they have a stage five meltdown because they're not used to it. And then she's mad that they're mad. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

It just, it just happens. That's just how I.

[B]

It's how I roll.

[C]

You can even see it with my French bulldogs.

[B]

Yeah. All right. But I. I think multi view is stupid as well. And I don't want to watch two different things a time, which is why I have multiple televisions where I live. Because I. When I watch tv, either somebody watches it on my terms with me, or you get out of my area and you go to your own tv. Because I'm very selfish about that.

[C]

Yeah, that's what I'm going to start doing. I have started doing that with one of my children.

[B]

But with.

[C]

Because the sports thing, I kind of get sucked in on all the sports.

[B]

Sports are different. Sports are kind of fun to watch as a group.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

But not what everybody wants to watch. The different sport.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

All right, all right. So I was going to tell you a funny story. I don't really have a grievance. So Josh and the kids and I were out of town this past weekend and we go into this restaurant, really good Italian restaurant, and Josh comes back to the table and he sits down and he goes. And he's on his phone for a long time and I can tell he's on like chat GPT or Claude. And he finally goes, so Debussy, water closet. And I was like, yeah, that's what, that's what it is. And he's like, so can a boy or a girl go in there? And I'm like, yeah, a water closet is a singular closet. And it's a one shot. And he goes, why is it called a water closet? I'm like, you've been to Europe a million times. They're called everywhere water closet. Well, we're not in Europe. Why do they have that on here? What's an Italian restaurant? They're trying to be euro. I mean, that's what Americans try to do when we try to be cool. We try to be Euro.

[D]

He.

[B]

He went to the bathroom and there's a water closet. A water closet and then a handicap. So there's three doors, all single shots, right? As the lady is like, can a boy go in here? And she was like, yeah, I think so. So it goes in, comes back, spends some time with Claude, then loops the whole family in on it. Like there's this grand conspiracy of the restaurant. And then he thinks they were trying to hoodwink him with the handicap one. I'm like, josh, at that point, when you see there's a. There's a vestibule and you see three doors in a U shape. Water closet. Water closet and handicap. The brain can deduce, right? This is for a non handicapped person. Water closet. This same. This one is for a handicapped person. He's like, why didn't I say water closet with a handicap? I don't know. Do you want me to go with the manager? I mean, we're like 15 minutes into this conversation about this thing. But I mean, everybody universally knows. Y' all know, right? Water closet. And he knows, but he does know.

[C]

He was funny about Josh. He is the most laid back, easy.

[B]

That is a lie.

[C]

Well, but I mean, he will he will let you tease them. He's self deprecating. He's so.

[B]

That's true.

[C]

But then he will fixate on one thing and then it just gets in his head and he just can't get it. Like the water closet. Why is it handicapped? Why is it called that? It's just like, why do you care? It doesn't matter. It's so funny.

[B]

I want to talk to you about this. Perpetuating that Josh is laid back.

[C]

He's laid back in a lot of different ways.

[B]

Not. He's absolutely not. He is so OCD and manic.

[C]

Yeah, but in terms of being around him, like once you like the cup holder situation and stuff, he laughs about it. It's not like it ruins his whole day. Like we, when we were talking, okay, I'll be married to him.

[B]

I'm gonna let you come stay.

[D]

Go.

[B]

You go stay with Josh for a week. You spin him around the block for about three or four days and then you circle back with me on this laid back thing. Because myself, my oldest son and my youngest son, we all think it's fraud. Because he plays this thing like, oh, I'm so laid back. And honestly, my niece Lauren, so she is a. A legal assistant paralegal. And so she thought, well, I'm going to go work for Josh. He seems so laidback.

[C]

Yeah, I'm not about work.

[B]

After about a week, I called her and I go, I'm just checking in with you on how laid back Josh is. She goes, oh, my God, you were right. It's a total. It's fraud. He is not laid back at all. Like, there is nothing chill nor laid back about him at all. Now he be. He seems. It's a really weird dynamic because he can put off. He doesn't. He doesn't sweat the small stuff. Right. Super open minded. Doesn't get his feelings hurt, doesn't get his panties in a wad. All that is shock proof. All of that is like a 12 out of 10. But everything else, there's like a little hamster that is just wound up in his ass, just running and he just. Yeah, it's a complete lie. You know who else isn't that laid back?

[E]

Who?

[C]

Me.

[D]

I'm.

[C]

Here's my thing. I get revved up over the stupidest, most, doesn't even matter, who cares stuff. And I'll go to a 12 out of 10. And then on this, I mean, I just. And I'm just like. The whole time it's happening, I'm like, why do you even Care that much. And then the stuff that kind of matters, I'm just kind of like, I just have a very warped sense of reaction. But the stuff I'm like, not laid back about like hot queso at a restaurant, it just makes me.

[B]

Eating with you or Josh, sometimes I think I would just rather not go out to eat with you guys.

[C]

You know, maybe that's why I don't notice it in Josh because it's the exact same as myself.

[E]

The.

[D]

The

[B]

entitlement. Yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's off the charts because I will kind of sit and suffer through bad temperature of food. It takes a lot for me to send food back. And I always think, yeah, these people are making minimum wage. You and Josh will march up there like you were at the Four Seasons in demand. Josh. One time, I remember we went to a Mexican restaurant and sat down and he was like, yeah, we'll take chips and salsa. No onions in the salsa. And I'm like, that's not how that works. Like, and I looked at the waiter and I'm like, ignore him, he's a psychopath. Do not, do not, do not try to do that. All right. Welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer.

[C]

I'm Angie.

[B]

She's the star of the show. Kylie.

[E]

Hi. I've got a. I've got an email from a listener today. It says, hi, Jen and pumps. I love your show. It's my go to for a laugh and I appreciate so much your honesty and support of human rights. You're both hysterical and it helps me get through these tough times. So I share one of your grievances about children in inappropriate places, but I'm going to say it again. Why are there young children at breweries and bars, especially holding your kid's birthday

[C]

party at a brewery?

[E]

I've had it. I had to suffer through Chuck E. Cheese, McDonald's roller rinks, and the hot ass parks for my kid parties. And these parents need to do the same as they're not anywhere I can go where kids aren't allowed. So I've said it. Thanks for the entertainment as well as the news. Love you and your staff. Thank you, Linda.

[C]

Could not agree more with Linda. Why the are you having a party at a brewery? A kid's birthday party? That makes no sense. And I think it's. I can't even tell you how many Chuck E. Cheese birthday parties I suffered through. I mean, it's just. You kind of just got to do it.

[B]

It makes sense if the parents are alcoholics.

[C]

Well, okay.

[B]

You know, maybe the parents are alkies, and so they're like, you know what? This. This is hard. Let's just go get drunk. I mean, I'm not. I'm not gonna go to Chuck E. Cheese and sit through that sober. So we're gonna go to the brewery and just get hammered. And maybe that's. But I agree with Linda. I was. We were on this trip that we were just at where Josh discovered water closets and spent time with artificial intelligence discussing the nuances of it. We were in this clothing store, and there was a let there. So there's the door to go in, and then there was like a window next to it. And there was. It was like there was an elevated place in front of the storefront window, both on the indoor and the outdoor that kind of looked like it shot through the glass. There were three little girls standing on this like it was their stage. We were sitting inside the restaurant. Roman is trying on clothes. Josh is trying on clothes. Dylan and I are sitting on the sofa in this adult restaurant. Adult clothing store. No children's clothes anywhere. So these three little gals that are probably age 10 and under are on the stage screaming and singing and stomping as loud as they can. And it's just reverberating through the store. It's such a fever pitch rate. And I keep turning around and staring at the parents, and they think it's just a real knee slapper. They think of these. These kids are hilarious. Look at them go. And it went on for like 10, 15 minutes. And I finally went and got the lady and go, you're gonna do something about. She's like, we've told them twice. And I just. I think that this whole idea that a lot of parents have that, you know, I don't want to tell my kids, no, it's such a disservice to the child. I mean, it's perfectly normal. I. I can't stand up on that stage and start going, Donald Trump. I hate Katie Miller. Everybo I want to, but my parents taught me I couldn't do that, right. That I'd have to get a microphone and then get an RSS feed and a YouTube channel. And it's your choice if you're here. Unfortunately for you. But it's like, why are they not telling these kids? Like, this is inappropriate. We don't own this store. You're not going to be able to stomp and bang on the glass like you. Nobody likes this. You can't do this. I do not understand why People don't tell their kids to shut the fuck up. I. I don't understand it. I completely agree.

[C]

And I'll tell you what else. I bet you a part of those parents thought, aren't these kids so darling? They are so talented. This entire store is enjoying the benefit of them singing and dancing. That's. I think as much as people need to say, sit down and shut up or you can't do that, people need to remember, nobody gives a about your kids but you. Nobody wants to be around your kids but you. Acting like it's a treat for the whole world to be around your child, especially in an adult situation. It's simply not, Jen.

[E]

I just. There was an article that came out recently and it was like, soft parenting didn't work.

[B]

I was like, no, no, no. Yeah. These kids come to their first day of work and they want, like a surprise. You made it on time today. There's a photo shoot. Here's the thing. Like, you have to prepare your kids adulthood. And adulthood is like learning how to manage boredom and actually appreciate boredom. Like, for me, you know how kids are like, I'm bored. I'm like, I used to tell my kids, that's a luxury. Being bored you will embrace at some point. Being bored is a luxury. Having nothing to do.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And yeah, it's a soft parenting. And I wasn't a hard ass by any stretch of the imagination, but specifically in public, if my kids were acting out, if they act out now, I'm like, stop it. I even. I even have to monitor Pumps. We'll be in these hotels, walking down the hallway. It's like 6am we're catching an early morning flight. And pumps has one volume loud.

[C]

So.

[B]

And you know how when you're in a hotel room and you hear people out in the hallway, you're like, God, I wish the note. She's like, so what do you think?

[C]

The Uber's already down there, do you think? I'm like, there's people. It's so true.

[B]

There's people sleeping. It's just like, it takes a village. We all have to live and cooperate together. And if I'm being too loud, obnoxious, I want somebody to check me. I want somebody to say, zip it. I remember one time. This is hilarious. So Pumps and I were on tour for I've had It. And we're at the Will Rogers World Airport. I think it's now an international airport in Oklahoma City. And we're sitting there. And again, Pumps was like, we're like literally two inches Away from each other's faces. And she's screaming. And I said, quit screaming. I can hear you. And she goes, I'm not screaming. There's something wrong with your ears. Stood up and walked off and went to the restroom. I loved it. Do you remember that? When you told me there's something wrong with my ears? It's just like. I don't remember specifically, but you stomped up. You stomped off like a twat. And I just sat there and died laughing.

[C]

Died laughing. I'm not screaming.

[B]

And you scream. You went even like, I'm not screaming.

[C]

There's something wrong with your ears. Kylie. Were you.

[B]

You got up and stormed. You weren't there. It was just. She and I. She and I were just sitting there. We were like an inch away from each other. She's screaming.

[C]

I know. I am so much louder than I think I am.

[E]

Yeah. I used to know when it was time for me to head out my hotel door to leave.

[B]

Because you could hear her.

[E]

I heard you guys coming. I always knew.

[C]

And I'm a heavy walker, too. And that's a problem in a hotel, too. Just like a clomper.

[B]

Yeah. And a heavy breather.

[C]

And a heavy breather. I'm just a heavy gal.

[E]

You're not heavy anymore.

[F]

No, you're not.

[B]

You're gorgeous.

[C]

Well, I mean, heavy mannerisms.

[B]

Yeah, but that's just pops.

[E]

That's just.

[B]

You just pack a punch. That's just the package. That's just the package. Okay.

[C]

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pay spot me and travel perks, go to chime.com disclosures all right, the first story that I want to share with the class today. The tooth fairy is out and a new kind of celebration is in. Pop this up. Mother slammed for throwing out of Touch Lavish party for Child's first First Tooth Milestone. The mother shared photos of the occasion on Instagram. Let's pop this up here you've got the Stop the worst Baby on the planet Jacob Jacob's first tooth. He's surrounded by hydrangeas. It propped up in a high chair like Little Lord Fauntleroy. And here he is. She's got another wagon with baby's first tooth with a bunch of flowers on it. So if you're listening, it is every bit as obnoxious as I'm making it sound. Some commenters called the party out of touch and wasteful, saying it reflects social media driven parenting that pressures parents into overspending on milestones a baby won't even remember. Supporters said every moment, big or small, is worth celebrating. The parents just want to make their kid feel loved and there's nothing wrong with finding joy in life's little Milestones. Milestones.

[C]

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I mean, give me. Are we that bored? Are we that stripped of anything to do? I don't care if you put money under the pillow for tooth fairy. I don't even care if you celebrate a tooth fairy. But this is ridiculous. And I fear that other people are going to do this because now everything is performative, everything's on Instagram. So, you know, Jane throws the first tooth party, so then Sally and Sarah have to throw it, and then we're just in a spiral, as it were, of people celebrating stupid things for little kids that nobody gives a about. This is.

[B]

The kid in the high chair is never gonna remember that. I'll tell you what I do remember. I do remember my mother pathologically lying to me about this experience she had with the tooth fairy.

[E]

Oh.

[B]

And it was detailed. And she would say, oh, Jennifer, I remember one night I woke up and I saw the tooth fairy leaving my room. And she had a white flowing gown and a wand. I looked under and there was a dollar under there. She told me the story over and over, right? So I was so excited, I lost my tooth. I'm like, probably like five or something where I can remember it. And I put the tooth under my pillowcase and I'm just waiting for this moment that my mother had pathologically lied to me about my whole life about the tooth fairy in her gown and how magical it was and the wand and all things, right? So, listener, you also have to know my mother is the most forgetful person on the planet. She's the smartest person I know. Genuinely. Probably. Like, I don't know a single person that is smarter than my mother. But as intelligent as she is, she's that much forgetful as well. Like she would forget to pick me up from school and left me at the grocery store. Like, very absent minded professor type person. And so I go to sleep, put my tooth under my pillow, all snuggled up. I wake up the next day, I'm like, oh, I never saw the tooth fairy, but I wonder if she came. And I lift up the pillow and then there's the tooth. And so of course I'm like

[C]

bawling,

[B]

crying, go to my mom and she's like, oh, well, darling, she must have just been so busy last night, you probably need to go back to sleep. So I go back to sleep and I'm in there. Like, my mom comes in to give me a hug and she tries to hoodwink me. She puts a five under my pillow and then takes the tooth at the same time. And that was it.

[E]

That's.

[B]

That's when I knew. And then, and then on top of that, on top of that, you find out not only did she forget your tooth, but also she'd been lying to you. And mom, my mom listens to the podcast. So, mom, how do you defend yourself? She'll probably chime in in the comment section. If she does, everybody tell Linda hello. She's a wonderful mother, by the way. Okay, next story. All right, Pops. Okay, everybody thinks you may have been an influencer of a rising trend that you didn't know about. Let's pop this up. Yes, the influencers normalizing, not having sex.

[C]

You're welcome.

[B]

A celibate porn star to an asexual ex Mormon. The Internet is full of people who are abstaining from sex. And it's not just incels. Here's an excerpt. Online, the vocabulary is coalescing. Femcel boy sober opting out. Wired spoke to a trio of people who are very online about their celibacy. A career porn star taking a break from men. An asexual ex Mormon YouTuber and an entrepreneur who is saving herself from marriage and are helping normalize it. Normalize it for the masses. And I would say the podcast worlds hit. Princess Diana podcasting the star of our show, Angela Pump Sullivan. Here's another excerpt. The reasons for abstaining range from anxiety about the state of the world, the overturning of Roe, the current political and economic climate, to a desire for total autonomy. While both genders experience similar rates of loneliness, studies have shown that single women tend to be happier than sing men, possibly due to not having to deal with a disproportionate amount of household labor or deprioritize their sexual pleasure pumps.

[C]

I just feel like a little bit disappointed that I'm not given any credit in this article. Like I could have been, you know, Wired didn't reach out. So I kind of, I kind of feel bad about that.

[B]

And then I say, yeah, I agree, it's a huge.

[C]

I mean that was a myth on their part. But all these people have such high minded reasons, like really well thought out. Mine is like, I just don't want to pay. Put makeup on on a Saturday and

[B]

do you put makeup on before you have sex?

[C]

No, but if I were gonna, I would have, I would have to go out and meet somebody, which means I would have to have small talk, which means I would have to wear makeup and doll up and I'd have To put mine is more of just an effort related issue. More so than climate change or anything like that. Mine is just. I don't want to have to do that. I would rather not have sex sex. Then have to small talk at dinner and do all that other stuff. Text. God forbid. FaceTime. I have friends that are on dating websites my age. They're FaceTiming. I'm just like, you are too old to be FaceTiming people you don't know either.

[B]

Don't be a fun hater.

[C]

Well, I just think it's weird. Like, hold up, hold up, hold up.

[B]

When you were dating that married man, we never. The last time you had sex, huh?

[C]

We never FaceTime. Not one.

[B]

No. Because you didn't know how to do it at the time. And it wasn't as common at the time. It's like five or six years ago I would call you and you were on the phone with him at all times. So then I had to call your daughter because I had to get a hold of you. And I said, no, no, hang on, hang on. And I said, emily, what's going on with your mom? I can't get a hold of her. And she said, oh, she. And blank. She and beep. Talking the phone for like two hours every night. And I was like, oh, my God. Good for her. So don't be a fun hater with your friends that are doing that.

[C]

No, but the face when you're in a group of people, I think anytime you're faced, like, if it's your kids,

[B]

face timing when you're with them.

[C]

No, like if there's six people sitting there at a table eating dinner and you're FaceTiming somebody else. That to me is a no.

[B]

100. Agree with that. 100.

[C]

That's what I'm saying.

[B]

You're with your friends and they're FaceTiming

[C]

the guy that they met online. Yes. They're not FaceTiming me. They're FaceTiming like a significant other.

[B]

While you're sitting there.

[C]

Kids 24, 7. And I'm like, stop.

[B]

While you're sitting there, they're FaceTiming?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Are they doing baby talk?

[C]

No. I would remember that. I. Yeah, no, it was just like FaceTiming.

[B]

What are they talking about?

[C]

Just mundane, stupid, like, I'll call you back after dinner kind of stuff. Like, nothing pressing. I guess it's the thrill, the chase. Flirting. I don't know. Does not appeal to me.

[B]

It did with you know who. Two hours a night. Two hours a night.

[C]

Two hours.

[B]

Like a little high school girl. What is what your daughter reported to me.

[C]

Yeah, well, she's such a great reporter. I'm sure she would want to wrap me out. In the beginning we did, but like, not after all.

[B]

I thought it was sweet. I thought it was sweet.

[C]

I just, I can't find the effort right now. But maybe if I fell madly in

[B]

love, I would 100 you would. That's the great, that's the great thing about you. As much as you like, rail about small talk on the podcast, if I'm out in the wild with you, you're the biggest small talker I know.

[C]

And I'm the problem with the small talking. Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Another story, Washington Post headline, let's pop this out. Does leisure make us happy often? The answer is no. Psychologist Lori Santos said we often pursue low effort activities while looking for happiness. Here's what actually works, according to the research. Reporting from the article is you might think spending more time relaxing would make you happier, but recent research suggests that having more leisure time doesn't necessarily make people more likely to rate their day as happy. The research research using data from the U.S. census Bureau's American Time Use Survey shows that people were most satisfied with their days when they included an hour or two of socializing, physical exercising, physical exercise, and surprisingly, up to six hours of work. Though more work than this was linked to less happiness. I agree with this.

[C]

I do too. And I think I've gotten to where I if I don't work out during the weekday, it makes me like very anxiety prone.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

I don't sleep as well at night. I absolutely like my number one priority is like, when am I going to get my workout in? Not because I care. I mean, obviously I care, but mostly because I'm like, I want to sleep. I don't want to have anxiety. Like if I have super anxiety, then I'll go for a walk, do something. I think you have to be active because here's the thing, if all you're doing is sitting around with nothing to think about, then you're thinking about yourself and you're thinking about how nobody else is thinking about you or what you don't have. So I think too much time focused on yourself makes you unhappy. You got to think about other stuff and other people to be happy.

[B]

I think I completely agree with you. And I, I exercise all the time too, because it, I feel like it treats generalized anxiety. I think we all have anxiety. I think being an adult is stressful. The current political climate is stressful. If you have kids or if you're in a relationship, paying bills, financial problems, you can just go down one of those little openings and you can. The next thing you know, you're like, you know, hamsters are running. And exercise for me just treats that generalized anxiety where I'm not anxious. And when I don't exercise, I feel it. I feel so much more anxious. According to Santos, chasing happiness backfires. Fixating on whether you're happy makes moments less enjoyable. And happiness depends on more behaviors and mindset than circumstances once basic needs are met. And I agree with her on this, that people that put like, and I know I'm gonna get a bunch of backlash for this, but I'm just gonna go ahead and do it like that. Have all of these projects related to themselves. The most up people I know have stacks of self help books in their house. They're working on mood boards. There's all of this, like, if I make this mood board, if I read these self help books, if I do all of these things, then I'm gonna fix me. And I think the answer is you have to have, like, you can't have all of your eggs in one basket. Like I have a work basket, a family basket, a friend's basket, a Jennifer alone time basket is as I've gotten older, has gotten much larger and my socializing basket has shrunk down. I don't like socializing as much. I, I like just very smaller group intimate settings than like a big socialized thing that it stresses me out too much. I don't, I don't like it. And you have to figure out what that stuff is. Santos also says pick activities that take a little effort, that take a little effort. Instead of defaulting to the couch, do things with other people. I'm going to push back on that. Yeah, really love defaulting to the couch. Dr. Santos. Errands don't pile shame on top of a bad mood. And when you're in a rough moment, ask yourself one thing you're grateful for. I agree with that. But I also think that, I think sometimes if the times that I focus too much on myself like this will make me happy, that'll make me happy. I'm not happy at all, just living. You have to accept that every single day is about a three or four.

[E]

It is.

[B]

It's just most of our days are mundane and boring. You get up, you have breakfast, you go to work, you go to the gym, you go home, you watch a great show, you maybe walk your animals and you go to sleep. There's nothing spectacular that Happens. And you have to be able to embrace like, this is my life. This is normal. And it's a. I'm not chasing high highs or low lows. I'm looking for just a leveled off off kind of mundane life. And then when I'm on vacation with my family, it's a 10. Every day's a 10. But those are few and far between. But I, I kind of agree with this that too much leisure is a problem that most miserable people. I know. I'm gonna get ripped for all this too. Mood boards. People are coming after me. But the unemployed woman with kids that are old enough to go to the bathroom by themselves and spend the majority of their days at schools are the most miserable women I've ever met in my life.

[C]

Completely agree. And they're the ones that have the first tooth blowout with all the flowers. You just don't have enough to do. You've got. You have to spend your time doing something or you just get in your head too much. I. I'm the happiest. What I'm thinking about other people and not myself. That's what I've found. And exercising and my dogs, that. Those are my key.

[B]

And Podcasting, of course. P.S.

[C]

well, of course.

[B]

Podcasting all the pod. The podcasting stuff's really stressful with our other podcast I hip news and all the. The political stuff. It's not enjoyable. No, it's so stressful. I mean, it's just staying on top of that. It's just not. It's. It's tough. Okay, Kylie, let's take a voice memo.

[E]

Okay. This is a perfect segue into our first voice memo. And this is from Camden.

[D]

Hello, Jessica. Hello, Meemaw. Meat curtains. Hello, Kylie, you beautiful human being. Every time I watch the podcast on YouTube, I'm amazed at how beautiful you look. All right, now that I've brought.

[B]

Now we know why Kylie picked this clip.

[D]

I've had it with influencers trying to tell me how to live my life. So I'm in med school. I'm quite like, like kind of busy. Right? Or like people with jobs. They're busy. And being an influencer is not a job. Okay? It is not stressful. They do not know what they are talking about. The other day when I had my little 5 minute allotted tick tock break, I stumbled upon this, like, clip of this influencer telling me to do a 5am power hour where you do 20 minutes of light exercise, 20 minutes of journaling, and 20 minutes of learning a new skill. Shut the up. Okay. Oh, and while we're here, I've had it with journaling. What the is that gonna do? Write down three things that you're grateful for. Stick it up your ass. Okay, I don't give a. No one should journal. It's stupid. It's the same, like, crowd that, like, manifest. Manifests like, oh, I manifested this. No, you didn't. That didn't happen. You know, probably journals. Cash Patel's girlfriend, country music star sensation Patriot Journaler, I'm sure, had it with journaling. Had it with influencers. Get a real job. Love you guys. Bye. Bye.

[C]

I agree with so much of that, the journaling. I know for some people, it really helps. It's like having a therapy session. For me, I just. Nothing would make me more miserable than journaling. That's just. I'm a talker, not a writer. The manifesting and the mood boards and telling me I have to have light exercise. Journaling, Shut the up. Just stop. Just do your own thing. But all these people, they think they know everything.

[B]

And I think that there's a distinction here. I think that the people that journal, it's like people that garden. You know, there's something there. You love it. What Camden is talking about here, this is performative journaling. If you're journaling and it's super important to you, you don't make a tick tock about it. And then the 20 minute of exercise, 20 minute journaling and 20 minute, teach yourself something new. That's so performative, that's so unrealistic. Nobody's gonna wake up and do that. You might do it one day and you're gonna say, that was stupid. I'm never doing that again. I mean, who wants to teach themselves something new at 5:40am I mean, that's just. It's ridiculous. I think that the. The problem. I disagree with Camden a little bit. Although, Camden, I agree with your cynicism on everything. I do think that some influencers have jobs and they work really hard on those videos and editing all of that up, and they tag and it's a whole. They get advertisers. And I didn't understand that when we first started this, but I do now. And I do think that there is. There are people who, like, they work 40, 50, 60 hours a week on doing that. But then there's just the buggers that aren't really influencers, but wannabe influencers telling everybody to journal and all of that. And I just think if I'm ever going to start journaling, it's not going to be because somebody on Tick Tock told me to. You know, why'd you start your life changing on Tick Tock said, you know what? You should journal every morning at 5:20 and then teach yourself something new at 5:40. So I start doing it. I've been doing it for like 2000.

[C]

Life is infinitely better.

[B]

I'm a million times happier, I'm richer, I'm better looking, my vagina's tighter, my tits are higher. My whole life has changed because this on Instagram. It's unbelievable the positive effects of this thing.

[C]

You know, here's the thing about the something new. I learned to knit a couple years ago and that was something new. I'd never.

[B]

I did knit a couple hats.

[C]

But I mean I do appreciate learning something new, but I am not. I'm kind of at the stage where I'm trying to remember what I already knew because I kind of forgot so teaching something new. But I have this friend that she will take on a new project every year. Like she learned to paint. So she spent a whole year painting. Then she learned to like ceramics or whatever, make it. And she enjoys that doing that. Like a new project a year. That is not for me. I don't think that's cool as.

[B]

And I guarantee you that friend didn't make a tick tock about it.

[C]

No, no. Right. She's doing it for her right towards the followers.

[B]

And that's the, that's the distinction that I think as we as enter into the AI world and then we're already all in the social media world. How much is that? Like that kid, that baby that lost his tooth, that was 120 million percent for Instagram, not for the baby. Zero percent of that was for the baby. Zero percent of THAT was for the tooth. This gal that got Camden all his panties all in a wad that's doing these three. This power hour in the morning. She's not doing that.

[E]

It.

[B]

No, she's not waking up doing that. She's up managing her Tick Tock, reading dms, reading comments, scrubbing bad comments. She is busy. Last thing that is doing is journaling at 5:40am and that's the problem. Nobody. Nobody's genuine or real anymore. And so with AI, it's like, is this. Was this written by a real person or is this a robot or. And then with these people on Instagram, like, do you really do this like your friend that does that? I think that's cool as I think that she's doing that. I think that's super co. But I guarantee you she's not like, okay, guys, the last year was ceramic season and this year I'm going into paintings. I'm really focusing on mixed media with a specialty in acrylics.

[C]

Yeah, I didn't even know until I walked in her house. I was like, where'd you get all this art? And she's like, I made it. And then I was like, oh, my gosh, that's so cool.

[B]

Very cool.

[C]

Didn't even tell. I mean, I talked to her once a week and she didn't even tell me she was doing it. Listener I know how hard it is to find time to work out during the summer because you have a million things you want to do. It's hot outside, but you have got to keep your workouts in if you want to look good in your vacation clothes. So I have discovered the secret Live Pro Waver vibration plate. I know what you're thinking. There's no way standing on something for 10 minutes actually counts as exercise. You would be wrong. Once I stepped on it, I completely understood all the hype. When you stand on the waiver, your muscles are constantly firing to stabilize your body. Your nervous system literally cannot ignore ignore the vibration. So your muscles keep contracting automatically the entire time. You can stand on it, sit on it. You can even be at your desk working and your muscles are still active. Over 2.5 million people are already using Live Pro. Risk free 30 day returns. They even offer a lifetime warranty so you know they stand behind their products. So for a limited time, our listeners can get 20, $20 off the waiver vibration plate plus free shipping with code had [e-mail] that's lifeprofitness.com use code had it for $20 off. After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and let them know we sent you Listener Everybody on this podcast knows Jennifer and I don't have small children at home. But we do have babies. And that is our French bo dogs. And there is nothing we won't do to keep our dogs safe and happy. And that is why Branch Basics is the cleaning product of choice for us. And here's the good news. Branch Basics is now available everywhere you shop. @Target, Target.com Amazon and of course Branch Basics.com tossing the toxins has never been more convenient for anyone. Grabbing the premium starter kit Kit. You can still get 15% off@branch basics.com with our code HAVIT. The premium starter kit comes with the concentrate and refillable bottles for your surface cleaners, including all purpose bathroom streak Free foaming hand wash and laundry. It also comes with oxygen boost for extra stubborn stains on pots and pans, laundry, bathroom tile and more. The kit is a great way to kickstart your humid human safe cleaning routine. Just use code HATTIT for 15 off the premium starter [e-mail] after you purchase. When they ask you where you heard about them, please make sure to mention our show

[A]

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[F]

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[E]

next we've got Kelsey.

[B]

Hi ladies Ryan and Seth. My name is Kelsey and what I've had it with are AI portraits on Facebook. Now it's all of these MAGA Christian women that are like 67 years old and they look about 50 pounds lighter, 20 years younger. Their boobs are perky and teeth are white. Their hair's all done full face glam thinking that no one's gonna notice you've never looked like that in your life. And then the people in the comments being like, oh my gosh, girl, you are so gorgeous. Tell me what you did. That's not her. I don't really know what they think is gonna come out of this. Why are you wearing a slutty Santa outfit?

[C]

Why are you like at this gorgeous

[B]

beach and like, it doesn't even look like them. And it's very dystopian, but I've had it with that. I would rather just see your real face.

[C]

Love you guys

[B]

so much. So much fraudulent activity goes on on the, on social media. I mean, just, I know this gal and she always would post. This girl peaked. And you know who this is? She peaked in the 80s. She peaked in the 1980s. Every photo she posts is her of the 1980s. Every post is about a band from the 1980s. It is like, we're still there.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

And it is 2026. But the, the MAGA women doing an air. Doing. Do you have any pictures of that, Kylie? See if you can find it. That's hilarious. Facebook is nuts.

[C]

Well, what.

[B]

Oh my God, I've forgotten to tell you this story. Okay, so this friend of ours, friend of mine, I went to dinner with her, she's in New York and went to dinner with her and she was, I was like, so are you dating anybody? She's like, yeah, I'm dating a guy. And I go, how'd you meet him? And she's like, facebook dating. I was like, what? You met somebody on Facebook Dating? Facebook has a dating app. And she's like, yeah. And here's the crazy thing about it. I hired a matchmaker and like a high end matchmaker. And the matchmaker, like, no success whatsoever. And she met this guy she really likes on like Facebook market dating or something. There's some dating thing on Facebook. She met like a normal person. Like, he's a democrat, He's a feminist. He's like, yeah. So you can do that now that.

[C]

I'm sorry, what?

[B]

You can do that. I'll set it up for you.

[D]

You.

[C]

I'm sure you will. Kylie told me just the other day, I'm still on all those MAGA dating sites where they want me to be like a trad wife and cook for them and do all that crazy. Here's the thing on the Facebook dating, it stands to reason that they would have that because they have everything else. But when you have the matchmaker, every time you say matchmaker now I think of that guy that was such a dick to you at that party. And that Matchmaker could not find anybody for him. And so my question, I would wonder. My guess is that you don't. But. So you have a matchmaker. She's as deep into trying to find you a match. And then you go through all her choices. You don't like him, and then you randomly stumble upon this guy on Facebook dating you really like him. Do you get any money back? Or is it just too bad? So sad.

[B]

I doubt it. Because I'm sure if she did the work, you know, I mean, she went

[C]

through all the choices. I mean, she tried.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I think, think, you know, I think that's probably a non refundable fee. I think that would be a slippery slope. But I do want to circle back to the time for fun that we put you on all those mega websites that. My favorite thing about it was when he. When we were reading the bios. Oh, there she is. There's Angela. Dawn. My favorite thing about it is when we were reading the bios of potential suitors, they would always say, must be unto vax.

[D]

Yes,

[C]

they all demanded unvaccinated people.

[B]

Yes. And I'm unvaxed.

[C]

But I want you to clean up after my kids. But you can't have your own kids.

[B]

I mean, this uncut and unvaxed. Crazy. All right, last one, Kylie.

[E]

Okay, up next we've got Will.

[F]

I've had it with gay dating. I'm one more hey man away from moving to a remote lighthouse and taking up whittling while I rock in a corner. Gay dating has become less about finding a partner, which is what I want, and more about competing in a 24 hour livestock auction of revolving, better abs, worse communication skills, and the emotional availability of a wall. The apps have ruined us completely. You can be on an actual date, sitting across from a man, making eye contact, thinking, wow, like this could be be something. And meanwhile, he's under the table swiping through eight more men named Will, who all have the same torso, the same dog, and the same emotional chaos all throughout their brains. So nobody wants to build anything. Everybody wants chemistry, mystery abs therapy, language, no baggage, perfect banter, and a jawline that could cut open a can of beans. Sir, you live with three roommates, your mattress is on the floor, and your only chair is a pile of laundry. So let's calm the down about what you want from me.

[B]

I mean, the gay dating. Yeah, that is. I tell you what, one thing I. I feel your frustration, caller. I do. But the one thing I appreciate about the gay dating dating is how much more Upfront, it is.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I think gay. Gay dating is greater than straight dating.

[C]

Yeah. But I do see, like, if you really want to go out, like, if you really want to make a relationship with somebody and they just want to hook up, like, that could be a disconnect. But I'll tell you this. I like how they just say, hey, I want to hook up. I'm. I like to do this. I like to do that. That. And then they just do it. But I. I have read a lot of articles about the Bumble and Tinder and all that stuff. The swiping that nobody ever, like, if they. If the first date isn't just, like, spectacular and fireworks, they just swipe on in the next. So there's, like, you don't really get to know somebody because there's so many choices. And that kind of makes sense that that would work that way.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I think the. The whole dating scene with apps and stuff, I bet it's. I mean, like, Zoron met his wife on Hinge, I think it was. Which. That's pretty cool. But I'm kind of glad I didn't get to do it, because I bet you could be like, I don't. I don't know. I'm glad psychologically, I didn't have to go through a dating app, which is why I want to put you on one.

[C]

Yeah. Thank you. No, I think it would be really hard to be. First of all, I've seen what's on some of these dating apps.

[B]

I want you to get on a dating app. I want you to go on a date, and I want you to FaceTime your date when you're with us.

[C]

Yeah. Like on the podcast. Like, hey, John, what's up? We're gonna FaceTime on the podcast, and

[B]

then you can journal, and then you can journal together.

[C]

Oh, my God. That's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna say we need to wake up and immediately journal together. Like Lauren and Jeff Bezos.

[E]

Bezos.

[B]

Because, God, they are such,

[C]

like, group journaling in the first thing in the morning that they.

[B]

They are such. I mean, truly, the Bezos are such. Yeah.

[C]

You know what's crazy about that is just a week ago or two weeks ago, we were talking, the right wing was going nuts because Jeff Bezos's ex wife can contribute so much money to, like, meals on Wheel wheels. That's how low the fruit has fallen.

[B]

Because they just don't. Because they're just idiots. I can't even get into it. They're just the Bezos are and all of the people who want to rearrange their lives and make America worse so that Lauren Sanchez Bezos and Jeff Bezos can have a fluffier life. I I'll never understand it, but please order my book. Not today, fascist. You can order it wherever you get your books. Make sure you're subscribed to our other podcast, I hip News and we will be back later. So we supposed to start the podcast.

[C]

This is a paid message from GoFundMe. Meet Juan Naula. When his son was hospitalized for a viral infection, Juan started a GoFundMe to pay for medical expenses.

[B]

It was 5k to pay the bill for my son and I need only 22 hours. It was amazing. People really trust on GoFundMe.

[C]

How did Juan raise $5,000 in less than a day? He posted a short video on GoFundMe telling his story in 30 seconds.

[B]

30 seconds. Be specific.

[D]

Be quick and tell what are you

[B]

going to be using the funds for? I was nervous to do it because

[D]

it doesn't feel okay to ask me.

[B]

But you shouldn't be nervous. Sometimes you just have to do it and see the results. We were able to save my son's life thanks to gofundme that we still have my son with us.

[C]

Start your GoFundMe today at gofundme.com that's gofundme.com gofundme.com this message reflects one person's experience.

[E]

My name is Shannon Maldonado. I'm the founder of Yaoi, a gift shop from the lens of artists and handmade objects projects. I chose Shopify because when I was testing other platforms, it was definitely one of the most user friendly. It was important to me to think about where we would be in the future. All of the tools for reading your sales, like planning inventory, they're just right there on your dashboard. For anyone starting a small business, the biggest thing I can tell you is it doesn't have to be perfect. Shopify can help you build upon it. Start your free trial on shopify.com.