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- [00:00]
A
Now at McDonald's, get an $8 McChicken or a $9 McDouble FIFA World cup meal deal. They come with small fries, a soft drink, four piece McNuggets and one of nine legendary cups. Participating McDonald's for a limited time while supplies last.
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B
All rights reserved.
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A
2026 McDonald's at FIFA World Cup 2026.
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B
I'm Kiana, and I leveled up my business with Shopify. Once I figured out that Shopify was a thing, I never turned back. I can create a site with my eyes closed. Shopify thinks ahead of us, you know, and it thinks about the customer. Every day I'm thinking about some other new business, but Shopify is doing it to me because it's so easy to use. It's like, I can't stop. I'm addicted. Start your free trial@shopify.com.
- [00:47]
C
so are we supposed to start the podcast?
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A
Ready, 1, 2, 3.
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C
Patriots Gaytriots. They triots. Black triots, brown triots. We love you all. The triple trumpers can do what? Pumps. All right, pumps. What have you had it with?
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A
Okay, what I've had it with is a very disturbing trend that I've noticed on social media. There'll be somebody that's lathering up their skin with this lotion and the person will say, I am a skin expert. And then you go along and you see another one, it's about toothpaste. And this person says, I'm a smile expert. And I'm like, what the. What in the fuck?
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D
Really?
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A
Because you have skin. You're a skin expert. Because you have a smile. You're a smile. And I'm just like, it's like the life coaching of advertising. I feel like I have skin. So I'm a skin expert. And I just thought, that is so ridiculous.
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C
And this person's not a dermatologist.
- [01:47]
A
No, because then I start paying attention. Of course, now I get that all the time because I go in deep, like, tell me about the skin experts expert. No letters, no doctor, nothing. Just a skin expert. So it's life coach of advertising.
- [02:01]
C
Gotcha. That's, you know, there's a lot. There's a creation of a lot of nothing experts that are going on while the administration is dismantling expertise. Yeah, you know, like the life coach thing. We've already called, you know, whistleblow on that. And then, because everybody that I know that's a life coach is a train wreck. I'm an absolute train wreck of any listeners. If you're a life coach, we're excluding you, by the way, But a smile expert. Like what do you.
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A
And a skin expert. I just, I don't understand. I think it was like a teeth whitening toothpaste.
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C
So why not just have it? Why not just. Yeah, or a dermatologist.
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A
Great question. That's, that's what I'm wondering. Because I think all these products are. And they're just saying this because there's no such thing as truth in advertising anymore, I feel like, because every thing I click on, on my social media is it can take your skin from creepy old person skin to 22 year old tight as skin like you have never seen. And I'm just like, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.
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C
You know, Pops, extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.
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A
It just, it doesn't happen.
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C
And if somebody had the fountain of youth to do that, we would all know.
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A
That's what I always. We would all know. Everybody would know, Everybody would know. Everybody would know. Look like a 22 year old. I would fucking buy it all day long and twice on Sunday the president
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C
would look a lot better.
- [03:37]
A
Oh God.
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C
I know, but I'm just saying, like, it's just such a thing, doesn't exist. Okay, I've had it with fusion food. So I recently saw this cute restaurant in New York. So I googled the restaurant and then I clicked the menu and it was like Italian, Japanese, like sushi fusion. Yeah, I've always wondered Italian food and sushi fused. And I'm just like, you don't get to do that. Like we're talking about different continents, different cultures, completely different vibes. Like the thought of when, when my brain is programmed that I'm going to a sushi bar, it's wired a certain way. My palate is starting to respond in a Pavlovian way in advance. The same goes for when I'm going to eat Italian food. It's a different part of my brain that's wired for the different type of palate explosions that I'm going to go through. I can't do both of those things at the same time. I need for sushi to be sushi. I need for Italian food to be Italian. I oppose very fundamentally these things being fused. And then you might say, well, Jennifer, just don't eat there. And I would say it's a great point. I really just. But it, I have to walk by this restaurant all the time and I think about it and I think, are they still in business? Are people buying this shit? Are people into this? Like, well, maybe I need to try it. But I just, I don't think I can, I don't think I can eat soup, sushi, Italian food.
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A
I'm the exact same way. I have never understood the whole fusion concept, like, of the food thing. I, I'm like, so if it's, Is it like queso and sushi on the same table? Like, I don't, I don't understand how that. But I just thought, well, I just have a dumbed down palette, but it's always stuff that I didn't even know would ever go together to begin with. So I agree. Let's just let certain things. We don't have to improve on everything all the time, do we?
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C
You know, I would argue it's not even an improve upon what it is. It's a roundtable meeting. It's where people stop sending emails and start calling a lot of meetings. And then everybody has ideas and everybody goes around and it's, well, what's your idea? Pumps. Okay, great. Seth, what's your idea? And then Kylie's like, I've got it. Sushi, Italian fusion. And everybody's like, oh, great, I love it. Let's workshop that. Let's workshop it. Scramble the jets. And then these ideas that should be shot down are in this culture where nobody can critique anybody's ideas, all ideas are good ideas. And then these stupid things are born and, and I don't know why I give a shit about it, but it really bothers me. I buy it all the time. And I thought, I'm going to put that in my phone as a little grievance for the podcast listeners. Comment. Send us a review. Does anybody like fusion food? I want to know from the listener. Do you like fusion food? And if so, what? Two regions fused. Like, I'm out. I'm completely out on this. Kylie, welcome.
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E
Hi.
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C
To I've had it podcast. Kylie, welcome.
- [06:45]
E
Thank you. Welcome.
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C
What do you think about fusion food?
- [06:48]
E
I can't stand it. And it's rampant in New York.
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A
Really?
- [06:51]
E
Yeah. We were like, oh, let's go to Korean barbecue. We love Korean barbecue. We just Google one up on the map. We go. And it's like, well, it's Korean, like Puerto Rican fusion. It's not even close to the same food you were looking for. Like, Italian sushi is not sushi.
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A
Right.
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C
Nor Italian.
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E
Nor Italian.
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C
Yeah, I, I, I don't, I don't support this at all. And it is, it's rampant. And I think it starts with these could have been emails if somebody said, hey, boss, I have a great idea. Let's do Italian sushi. Restaurant. The boss respond, nah, nah, I think that's a bad idea. But instead it's like, oh, let's all. Sometimes talking too much and throwing out too many ideas is counterproductive. And I know I sound like a ball humbug with that, but I genuinely think that.
- [07:41]
A
Well, and also. And we've talked about this a million times before, but nobody. Like, in a workplace, you can't say, that's a shitty fucking idea. Like, I don't want to hear that idea. You're wasting time. Nobody talks like that anymore. We do here. Huh?
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C
We do hear it. I've had it. I tell Ryan and Kylie all the time. No, it's a bad idea. I don't want to run that story. I did it with Ryan, like, three times.
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A
Rare. That is.
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C
I know, but they have to face it every single day.
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A
He'll.
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C
Ryan will come. He's put together. Great episode. I'm like, no, nobody wants to hear that for 15 minutes to another one. But here's the thing. It's not about Ryan.
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A
It has nothing to do with.
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C
Nothing to do. It has to do with. But nobody here has thin skin.
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E
It's also why our show is so good.
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C
It's not feasible. Also why we're like, the top podcast in the globe.
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E
It's good.
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C
Top DEI podcast. Yeah, for sure. Where we fuse things. Fusion of positivity and cynicism.
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E
Yeah.
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C
Fused together in America's top DEI podcast. All right, Kylie Rubies.
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E
Okay, up first, five stars. Tucker, question mark. Spork says, did Josh shaving his armpit hair turn Jen into Tucker Carlson?
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A
What are we doing?
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E
What's going on?
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C
Okay. I'm so glad that Spork 101 brought this up, because the most recent trip that Josh came up here, his chest was shaved. And I just said to him, I go, here's the deal. Like, I'm not into this. I want a man. I'm fine with your chest hair. I guess if I were a gay man. I think they're called a bear.
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A
Is that right?
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C
Ryan? I want a man. I do not want to have sex with a hairless man. That is not a turn on to me. I like men. And, like, I was like, josh, I just. You need to grow your chest hair back. Like, I'm not into this. And he doesn't have, like, too much, but if he did, I like the, you know, I don't know. I just. I like that component of a man. It's a turn on to me. I don't like hairless men. Furthermore, it's this whole RFK Jr. Shit. They're all Joe Rogan, RFK Jr. All the creatine bros, all the bro team. We're protein bros, all that shit. They're all shaving all the time. And I think it makes them kind of look like pussies. I'm just gonna say it now. There's a caveat to that. The gay men were doing this. Not the bears, but, like, the, like, I don't know, like the hip, stylish gay men had been shaving their hair and stuff for a long time. And then in the categories of where they're hooking up, they pre establish, like, do you want fur? Which is the bear or no fur or shave. You know, they establish all this stuff because they're very sex. Sexually liberated. They did all of this stuff before the protein guys started doing it. So it went the. Like hairless gays and then the mega proteins, and then Josh and I just. I mean, I put my foot down. I think he. I told him about it in here last time because he brought it up to you, didn't he, Kylie? Jennifer told me grow my hair back.
- [10:41]
E
Yeah. He said also, she could have told me that before she told hundreds of thousands of people. I would have just grown it back.
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C
Oh, yeah, that's true.
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E
Our listeners hear everything first.
- [10:50]
C
Yeah. And here's the thing. Like, I run out of stuff to talk about.
- [10:53]
A
Yeah, that's fair. I'm so glad this came up. About Josh. I have just been dying to know the update on the body fat. How's it going? Are you still getting daily texts? How's that working?
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C
I haven't gotten any in about a week, but really, he screenshots the body fat and it gives like an arrow. Like, you know, it's up.01% or it's down. And I only get them when it's going down. And, like, the weight is down and he circles it and he puts, like, thumbs up emojis with it.
- [11:28]
A
That's what I would do.
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C
And I think he, like, weighs with his body fat scale so frequently that he can't really. I think it pretty much has stabilized the body fat and the weight is stabilized. So it's kind of. It's lulled out a little bit. It's kind of flatline. But he.
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A
When he.
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C
Last time I was in New York, he's like, do we have a scale in the apartment? I was like, no. And he was like, why? And I was just like, because I know. I know my body. I know. I can tell when I've put on £2 and then I, you know, have an early dinner for three nights. And, you know, I just. I know how to manage my weight. He's like, God. I mean, because he weighs like six times a day, you know, he's just so compulsive. It's just so compulsive.
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A
So the gym, weighing at the gym, and it was just simply not enough. One time a day, just not enough. It's got to be more.
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C
No, he has his own body fat scale that he ordered.
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A
Oh, no, I know, but I'm saying in New York, just doing it at the gym, it's one time. It's not enough.
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C
Well, and here's the thing. It's kind of like this. You have to kind of like book it at the gym to have you, the trainer, take you down and do the thing. You can't just unauthorize. Go do the body fat machine. But of course, Josh is like, you know, he's just so manic and impulsive about. She's like, let's go do it. Let's go do it. Let's go do it. So Emily, our trainer, will be like, okay. She's real sweet. She's like, okay. And then we go down. And then his come back at like 3 or 4%. I was like, this machine's broken. That's not real. Of course he thinks it's real. Everybody knows all the story.
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B
But
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A
I don't know why. I was thinking about Josh's body fat the other day.
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E
He would love that. Okay, the next review. Five stars. Thank you. And Kalia writes. Just pre ordered Jennifer's book, Not today. Fascist Jennifer. Angie pumps. The people they work with and the guests they bring to the show are not only very informative, but make the show truly one of my favorites. Offering comic relief, camaraderie, and sincere, thoughtful, and hopeful dialogue. A great podcast that helps put things into perspective and keep me up to date or even laughing as an American. I love it. Thank you.
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C
That's so nice. Thank you. Thank you for ordering the book. For those of you that haven't. Not today, fascist order. It links right below. It's really good. You'll like it. I have to do. I have to read the audiobook soon?
- [13:48]
A
I can't wait. I'm really excited about it. I believe in my heart of hearts this is going to be transformative. I really do.
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C
That's sweet. I don't think it's going to be transformative. I think it'll be eye opening for people that don't understand red state politics and the culture on the ground in the electorate. From my observations growing up there as like a liberal, you know, in the sea of depravity. But people that think that they're morally superior, I mean, you know that it just still, when I think back, when I think back to peer, there's so many great people in Oklahoma City that are progressive, that fight the good fight, that are not anti LGBTQ plus, that shun that, that shame that. But then there are the people who are all chips in on that. And those are the people they literally think like, oh, we're so morally superior. And I look back at them and I'm just like, fleabags. Fleabags. All right, I have some news stories. There is a new airplane etiquette rule that just dropped. Pop this up. Plane passengers says seatmate claimed they, quote, ruined their flight because they ate their meal before everyone in row was served.
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A
This. It's just unbelievable.
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C
And then a recent plane passenger said on Reddit that they were called, quote, rude and inconsiderate by their seatmate for eating their meal before the rest of the row. The passenger received his special vegetarian meal first because he ordered ahead of time. This is next level entitlement, right? The original poster asked and one user responded to the situation. Pop this up. That's hilarious, wrote one reader. Do they get upset in restaurants when other people are served first? Do they stand up in the middle of the restaurant and announce, please put your forks down until my food arrives?
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A
This is so stunning. Like, I cannot believe the person that posted this is not embarrassed. This is not your friend. This is a total stranger. Why is everything always about you? That's unbelievable to me that, number one, the person was so offended that they went to the computer or their phone and wrote about it because they felt so wronged. I mean, this is a person. It's going to be real, real, real hard for this person life. And I will just say this, if we cannot agree as a society that you can't clip your nasty ass toenails on a flight, do they really think people are going to start? Wait, it just. It's so stupid. So stupid.
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C
It's just that there's a lot of main character energy out there.
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A
That's what.
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C
Where everybody reacts to a person doing their own thing in their own lane and they react to the person doing that as something personal to them. You know, it's. There's just so much main character energy where people have to somehow relate what is going on. Whether it be this, the person eating their food or some grave injustice and then they tie that back to them, to them personally. It's like, no, just be an ally and shut the fuck up about you or eat your food and shut the fuck up about your seatmate. You know, there's all this main character energy in the world right now. And I think that as we study, like generationally, there's a lot of really good things about each generation. Like, I like that Gen Z is more sensitive and more open to talking about their feelings. The same with Millennial. But I also think we lost some of the like boomer Gen X, like pull yourself up by your bootstraps and have a little bit thicker skin. I wish that they were all kind of merged because there's good things from each generation, but the, the younger generation seems to have a lot of main character energy.
- [17:49]
A
Yeah, that's exactly what it is.
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C
Okay, and the next story is A woman took to Reddit for advice after moving into a new apartment. Pop this up. Mom insists daughter move out of new apartment because her neighbor is, quote, too attractive In a Reddit thread, a 25 year old woman describes how after her mom came over to her new apartment, she became worried after seeing her neighbor Jake pop this up. Here's some reporting from the article. She asked me, who's that? I told her he was my neighbor and she immediately started grilling me. Do you like him? Are you dating him? Are you sleeping with him? The woman writes, adding that she told her mom, no, he's just my neighbor and hope that would be the end of the conversation. It wasn't. This morning she called me at 7am and said she had been thinking all night and decided I had to move.
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A
Why?
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C
Because Jake is too attractive and it's only a matter of time before he seduces you and ruins your life. She writes. The woman's mom told her she needs to move out by next month and has since been repeatedly text messaging her things like, you're disrespecting me. I'm only trying to protect you and you'll thank me one day. One Reddit user responded to the thread. I think she might be mistaking her life for a soap opera. The writer said that she blocked her mom and went no contact after the situation.
- [19:15]
A
I I am so confused. So she doesn't want her dog? Is it, is it a religious thing? I mean, why? So she just thinks having sex with this guy because he's cute would ruin her life? I that sounds like the mom's a nutball.
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C
There's no question I mean, there's.
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A
You can't even rationalize that.
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C
I think just there's a lot of parents that see their adult children still as, as their property. And a lot of people think these children are like theirs permanently. Instead of teaching autonomy, and it's like they, they try to prevent it in an act of some sort of toxic love, but they try to prevent all of these things where it's like, here's the deal. The Reddit user, she might end up fucking Jake and Jake might seduce her. But there's a. In that, like, we all like it. We all get seduced sometimes. We're the seducer. We have heartbreaking breakups, one night stands, et cetera. And you have to let your kids just go out and experience all of those things. And you can't interject, Interject.
- [20:15]
A
I, I think you're 100% right. And I just, I can't help but think that this has probably been an ongoing pattern with this mother, that she has been guiding this child. Because I've been the daughter of a mother like that. So this was not just this did. Just didn't come out of thin air. I'm sure everything has been micromanaged for this girl her entire life.
- [20:36]
B
Yeah.
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C
I'll never forget the first time I met your mother. I'll never forget it. I tell this story, but Pumps and I were in her backyard smoking cigarettes. And I mean, we're like grown women married with children. And her mom comes storming in, does not ring the doorbell, nothing has a key, lets herself in, the deadbolt comes in. Angie's like freaking out, about to ball, crying, like, hiding cigarettes, like, you have to leave. You have to leave. And then for years, the lying that you had to do to your mother, you'd be at my house and she'd be like, where are you? And you'd be like, oh, I'm at Kathy's. I was like, why do you have to lie to your mom that you're at my house? That's fucking weird. You're 40.
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A
And you were like, I probably blame the smoking on you.
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C
No, you said, because it was. I wasn't a Christian. I asked you like, she doesn't like you because you're not a Christian. I was like, well, that's, that's really Christian. Ever.
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A
I tend to always. I would, whenever I got best at smoking, it was always whoever I was with, it wasn't mine. I mean, I threw whoever I was with straight under the best.
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C
But then she ended up finding out that I had quit and Your biggest staunch Christian friend was then the smoker, huh?
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A
Smoking it, apparently.
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C
Yeah.
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A
How many years did I smoke after you? Four or five.
- [21:53]
C
A long time. A long, long time.
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A
I mean, it was a long time.
- [21:58]
C
Yeah, because I remember at one point I kind of, I saw your mother was like, I can't remember. It's like maybe your son's graduation or something. And your real religious friend was outside smoking and she was worried about your mom seeing it. And I'm just thinking, why is everybody, why does this woman get to control these grown ass women all the time like this? And your mom said to me, I understand you stopped smoking. I was like, oh my God, years ago. And she was like, well, I'm very proud of you. Well, oh my God. Well, thank you. Then you couldn't blame it on me anymore. It was all that, it was all from within the Christian community.
- [22:35]
E
Yeah.
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C
Okay, next story. Pop this up. The pissed off spouses who try to intervene in their partners jobs. Don't let your husband, wife or parents get involved in your workplace drama. Spouse number one, this person wanted to ask his wife's boss to give her work that would make her happier. My wife has been working at her current position for over five years in hr. However, she isn't trained in this and she has a master's degree in an unrelated field that is actually the primary focus of the company. Because she is hard working and competent, her boss refuses to see her as a as fit for positions within the company that she is actually trained in. She has stated her desire to move into this other area, but so far it has been ignored. As her husband, I want to see her happy and she is not. She is incredibly intelligent and very gifted and it bothers me greatly that she isn't working in the arena that she is trained for. I would like to write a letter to her boss on her behalf, but I don't want to jeopardize, jeopardize her job. Is this a bad idea?
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A
Yes, it's a terrible idea. This whole thing, people intervening. Can you imagine? Just imagine for a second that I was in a courtroom and I got my ass chewed. Just up and down sucked something at the whole thing. And the next day the judge got a letter from my mother or my husband or you as my friend that makes you look so bad it unbelievable to me that it made it to the page.
- [24:29]
C
Here's the thing. If you're writing this is two paragraphs here. If you're writing out two paragraphs in the last sentence in the paragraph is a Question, is this a bad idea? That's where you just go, hit the back and you just delete the whole thing. That's just as a rule of thumb. If you've gone that far, you're trying to convince yourself and you already know the answer. You don't hit publish or enter or post that. Because then you've gone from. Everybody has fucking crazy ideas like, God, I wish I could write that boss a letter. He's such a dick. Blah, blah, for my husband, and my husband won't stand up for myself or my wife. That's normal. That's human. Even going, oh, I'm going to write an imaginary letter and you type it out. I even give you that agree. Hitting send is where you go to cuckoo for Cocoa puff Land. That's where it becomes this person is a nut ball right then and there. Because the. The actual wanting to chew out somebody who you think is doing your partner dirty.
- [25:30]
E
That's.
- [25:30]
C
I get that.
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A
Like, sure, I felt that before.
- [25:33]
C
I mean, I remember I wanted, like, I wanted to physically beat up your husband at a basketball game.
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A
We wrote imaginary letters all the time. I get the. I get the whole.
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C
We never publish them.
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A
You do not publish them. You do not publish it. And just think how embarrassed his wife would be. I mean, she would be.
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C
Would she be, though? Do you think she would be? Or do you think she'd be like, my man took up for me. Do you know what I mean? Like, no, I.
- [26:01]
A
Yes, I do, sadly. I guess it's a close call. Not for me. It's not a close call for me. Okay, remember one time I wrote the. I was so mad at one of my friends. Husband or ex husband. I can't remember where they were in the marital status. They're divorced now. And I sat down and I texted. I mean, in my phone. Our grammar, checked it. I, you know, punctuation was perfect. And I read it like three times. And I mean, I had, like, worked a long time telling him just what a big fat piece of shit he was. And then I just thought, you look like the crazy one here. Like, if you. If you hit send on this, despite perfect grant grammar punctuation, you immediately put yourself in the nutball category. So what did I do? I just erased it, but it made me feel better.
- [26:58]
C
But I kind of ride with that, though. Like, to me, your girlfriend, I assume that the husband fucked around and she found out.
- [27:07]
A
Fucked around. Fucked around with money. Yeah.
- [27:10]
C
Okay, so I kind of ride with that. I kind of ride with you hit and send on that I kind of. Because you were probably brotherly, sisterly friendly with this.
- [27:21]
A
Correct. Yeah.
- [27:22]
C
So the betrayal went deeper than just watching your friend hurt. You felt like he was a fraud.
- [27:27]
A
Yeah. Well, this is like I had already motherfucked him on Christmas Day over text.
- [27:32]
C
So now the plot's thickening.
- [27:34]
A
Wait, right?
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C
I mean, wait, wait, hold up. So you did send one that you published and you cherry picked separate two.
- [27:41]
A
Totally separate. Okay, here's exactly what happened. I'll go through the whole thing.
- [27:44]
C
Wait, wait, wait.
- [27:45]
A
Okay.
- [27:46]
C
All right.
- [27:46]
A
Okay. So my friend, she knows her husband's cheating. She has a private eye, and she knows cheating. And a. This was before the phone was location. Anna, like a tracker on his gps. Love it. So she calls me, it's like Christmas Eve, and she's like, I know where he is. I know who he's with. I need you to go bust him. Because she didn't want him to know that she had a PI and the tracker. So she's like, so you need to go in and you need to do that. Of course, I immediately. I mean, it's Christmas Eve. I have no makeup on, no bra. I'm your girl. So I go driving out to the restaurant. I go in, I do the whole bust.
- [28:25]
C
And then I remember this. Wait, okay, you. You go up to the table.
- [28:31]
A
Yeah. I acted like I was buying a gift card at the restaurant.
- [28:33]
C
And I did.
- [28:34]
A
I bought a $15 gift card because I tried to, you know, scan where they were. Of course they were snuck off in a corner. He understood.
- [28:42]
C
Did you approach the table?
- [28:44]
A
Fuck yeah, I did.
- [28:45]
C
Okay. And.
- [28:46]
A
And he introduced her as somebody else. And I was like, no, no. So then we get. I was very. I was just like, so you're here with her? And he's like, well, it's not who you think it is. I'm like, it doesn't matter. It's Christmas Eve and you're, you know, two cities away with this woman. Okay. So I get in the car. He immediately starts calling me. Don't tell, don't tell, don't tell. I'm like, I am not, not gonna tell. Like you're in public. So then the next day, of course, because my friend handled it very poorly, she immediately told her very.
- [29:22]
C
Because you did a bang up job
- [29:26]
A
about this. So then he's in the next day's Christmas and his kids refused to go with them for Christmas. So he's texting me saying it's my fault. And I'm like, I'm not the one around on your wife. I'm the one that made these choices. So finally I was like, look, you don't. I mean, I was just mad. This is after five or six back.
- [29:45]
C
Was that in person or via text?
- [29:47]
A
This is via text.
- [29:49]
C
And you're saying, look here, you.
- [29:51]
A
Yeah.
- [29:52]
C
You're saying, okay, okay.
- [29:53]
A
I was like, you're. You're the. That's around on your wife on Christmas Eve and you're mad at me. He's like, you ruined my children's Christmas. I like, are you kidding me? I ruined your children's Christmas? How did I ruin that? You're the one around. It just. It went back and forth like that until I just exploded. And it was funny because I didn't see him for like a year. And then, like, when I ran into him, he gave me a big hag and was nice, so I guess I was forgiven. I don't know. But he was the same one. So this happened like in 2015. So fast forward to like 2021 is when I wanted to him on a text, but I didn't.
- [30:32]
C
So growth, growth. Okay, so what my favorite part about this story is, number one, that you're so loyal to your friend. And I remember this story. I remember you telling me in real time. And number one, I kind of ride for that. Like, I kind of ride for that. Women. That's really like women supporting women. You knew this guy. You were probably there when she had her kids in the hospital. He with yours. You share these life experiences and he's fucking around. She found out. She's crying, she's upset, and you're there for your girlfriend. I support it. My favorite part about the story, though, is that you just jumped to the healthy version of pumps that wrote out this email and thought, no, I'm on the high road. I'm going to delete this up. I'm going to clean this up because I'm a sane person.
- [31:16]
A
Right.
- [31:16]
C
Meanwhile, you were gatekeeping the juiciest tidbits for me and the listener was that you went up in your PJs on a Christmas Eve bender motherfucking this guy. And then it continued via text for a couple of days on Christmas. Love that. I love all of that so much more than the restrained, you know, pumps that thought, you know what? I typed it out, I grammar checked it. And then you deleted it. I don't like that girl as much as I do. The girl that went in there said, you want me to go up there? I got you, sis.
- [31:46]
A
I love that. Fucking go. Let's fucking go.
- [31:48]
C
Yeah, okay. Spouse Number two, spouse. Spousal interference can get in the way of a partner being hired for a job. I have a candidate in our hiring process, but Bob, he seems to be a good fit for the position, but I'm having difficulties communicating with him because his wife sue is very involved to the point of interfering. If I leave a voicemail for Bob, sue will call me without Bob being present. If I am able to get Bob on the line and he is with sue, he will put the call on.
- [32:26]
A
Oh, my gosh.
- [32:27]
C
Sue is also the one reporting to the emails. Oh, wait. Sue was also the one responding to the emails I have sent, requesting training certificates and confirming booking times. She asks all the typical. She asks all the typical questions candidates themselves would ask. Travel accommodations, process specifics, deadlines for the documents I need, where and when the supplemental training will happen. Bob said she likes to, quote, be involved. I told him that while I appreciate that it makes it difficult to complete the onboarding process when she is as. As involved as she is, and I need to have confidence that he can perform independently, he cannot.
- [33:11]
A
That is obvious. Independently. Like, we don't even need to have the onboarding. My question is, was he. She, like, emailing from his email or is it like, oh, well, Bob wants to tell you
- [33:26]
C
know what it is, you know what it is. You know what it is.
- [33:30]
A
What?
- [33:31]
C
And we've never even talked about this.
- [33:33]
A
Ooh, juicy.
- [33:35]
C
Family email addresses or couples email addresses.
- [33:40]
A
The worst. Somebody's around, somebody got caught. I just, I believe that.
- [33:44]
C
How many times in raising our kids and you have. You're on these stupid circle work email things where all the parents are helicoptering, being nuts, and it's like Smith Fam for fun at google or@gmail.com. how many did you see family emails?
- [34:02]
A
A ton, I would say in a group text of, you know, like 40 parents. At least a half dozen. Between half dozen and a dozen. But. And that's too many. That's too many. It's control. If you're not around, it's control out the Gazette that screams to me, this is not a safe marriage. This is divorce court city.
- [34:24]
C
I think Bob and Sue have a joint email address.
- [34:27]
A
Yeah. A lot of clients, after they fuck around, they decide they're going to monitor each other's. And so that happens a lot. That they go to the group email. Well, bitch, he's got another email account, honey. He. She's got another email account. Like this stuff. It's not that hard to figure out. You're dying to do it.
- [34:48]
C
Yeah, I just Think that you. Obviously, this Bob and Sue is not that surprising to you as a. As a recovering divorce lawyer, because it tell us the stories that you would have where it's like, the new mistress is. You know, he's left the wife, and they sit and monitor each other's calls. Have it. Didn't you have, like, mistresses calling you during divorces?
- [35:10]
A
I'm sure, like, yeah, absolutely. And I always knew this is going to be a disaster. I mean, because the worst thing that happens during the divorce is when the. The Paramore comes in and starts making the rules, especially with kids. But it's just like, I found out she was cheating from a guy at work. With the guy at work. So we decided that I would be on all her social media. I'd have all her passwords, we would have a joint email. Nothing. You know, it was completely transparent. And then it was just like, it's not that hard to figure out. She went and got another email account. You don't know about that. She put on her phone under, you know, family calendar, and it's really hot. Bubba loves dick. You know, I mean, it's just like. It's like, if I wanted to be super sneaky, despite the fact that I am terribly clumsy about everything, I know all the tricks. You know, you put the person in, I put under Jennifer Welch's, you know, work phone, and it really be, baby, I love you. You know what I mean? Like, these are real easy problems to solve. And then, same thing with the. And we did this back when it was hard. We broke into AT&T accounts that were hard to break into. They were not online. You had to fucking get them. But now it's just so easy to track people's phone calls and stuff, and yet they don't do it. It's like, well, obviously, no. You know what the new thing is? WhatsApp. You can't trace WhatsApp texts and stuff. So that was. That was the next iteration, right when I was done is we were gonna be super transparent with all our computers and phones and emails, but we were gonna get on WhatsApp and have sexting marathons.
- [36:57]
C
My favorite story from all of the divorce work you did. And if we can't say this, then, Kylie, you can cut it out after. But listener, I'm sure you hope you get to leave it in. So there's some. It's a divorce or breakup or custody or something, and you're representing a gal, and the guy's, like, blocked her from Instagram. He's blocked your Client from Facebook. He's blocked the cell phone number, he's blocked emails, he's blocked incoming calls. Every single thing that could be blocked was blocked so that she couldn't him. And the last, the last line of contact was Venmo. So she would send $1 with the message, fuck you, you.
- [37:38]
A
Or like it was public and it would be like, he, around you. He's a liar. And it's like, I was just like. So she, I get a call from the other, the other lawyer and I'm like, got to quit doing this. I will never forget this conversation. I said, it is going to be impossible for me to stand in front of a judge and defend this conduct as not malicious when it is this blatant. She goes, well, it is malicious. And I was like, well, no shit, but you have to stop. And so that was a fun hearing. I didn't even defend it, that it wasn't malicious.
- [38:16]
C
I was just like, I, you know, here's what I. Here's the thing. Like that is like, there's passion in that. You know, it makes you feel something like, I, I hate this motherfucker. I'm gonna spend money on Venmo to tell him how much I hate him. Was he able to block her from Venmo?
- [38:38]
A
I think she got a specific court order that they were going to enter a temporary restraining order, which has criminal ramifications if you violate it. And it was like, one more Venmo. The judge said, then I'm going to enter a restraining order. And so she quit. But yeah, I was just like. Because at that time, I didn't have Venmo. I didn't even know. I mean, I kind of knew what Venmo was, but I was like, oh my God, you're saying all this shit on Venmo on purpose? Oh, it was, it was so funny. So many funny people out there, though.
- [39:10]
C
I mean, but that's the thing about love, you know, it feels so good and it feels so great. And you're. It's high time. Slap and tickle city. And then it can just go a wayward way and then it turns into, you know, he's around you on Venmo, send more money. It's just, it's. It's really quite a sight to behold. All right, listen, that's all we have for today. Thank you for joining us. This is I've had it podcast. If you want political, political, bite sized pieces, please go subscribe to IHIP News. If you're watching on YouTube. It's all one made main feed and we will be back later.
- [39:53]
A
I'll tell you what I've had it with.
- [39:54]
C
Let's hear it. I'm at it with that.
- [39:58]
D
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