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First Corinthians, chapter 13. Just one little verse. I'm going to try to talk to you today as straight as I can and as probably maybe a little bolder and even clearer than a normal Sunday. Can we handle that? Not to beat you up, but maybe to just say. I was telling Marcus in the back, maybe to just say some things that I learned that sometimes I forget. Oh, yeah. Maybe I haven't said that clearly enough. And I just want to be clear. I can be a little bit bold on the weekends and offend people at times, but. So I'm not trying to be offensive or anything like that. I just. I want to be just clear and really call you to something that, like, I just. And honestly, I just want to share some things that I think changed my life over the years of my life. And, you know, I have an opportunity to speak to over 1100 men, and I want to make it count, right? So I'm going to keep it real. And if you don't come back, then, you know, the crossing is right over there. Hope Baptist is down in Henderson. ICLV is over in Summerlin Church. LV is right down the road. Just keep going down Sunset. You'll hit it. There's. There's a Mormon church within a stone's throw of every direction. You'll find a church. But. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't want you to leave. All right. When I was a child, I spoke as a child and I understood as a child, and I. I thought as a child. But when I became. Everybody say, become. Say that. Become. Become. This is a choice word. This is a decision word. This is a maturity word. This is a. This is not something that happens at 13 or happens when you hit puberty or. Or happens when you turn 18 or 21. This is the decision you make. When I became a man, I put away. This is how you know you've become a man. Watch. I've put away childish things. That's how I know I've become a man. So I know children who are 50 because they haven't put away childish things yet. So I want to talk about becoming a man, becoming a man, becoming a man. Lord, I pray today that you make us men of God in Jesus name, everybody said, amen. Amen. Thank you, brother. The same apostle who just wrote that scripture in First Corinthians 13 would say three chapters later, First Corinthians 16, Be watchful. Stand firm in the faith. Watch this. Act like men. Act like men. Be strong. Act like men. Act like a man. So Paul has to tell men to act like men. Maybe I could say it like this. Paul has to tell males to act like men. So if Paul's telling us to act like men, firstly, that means don't act like a woman. Not because women are bad. I'm married to one. But because we're different. I don't know if you know that we're different. Females have an XX chromosome. They have a vagina. Men have an xy. We have a penis. We are different. I don't. I don't care what culture's currently telling you. We, like, we still believe that. And I honestly, I actually. Oh, I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. Thank you. Though I'm sad that that's even a. Like, that's even a clap thing. But we're just that far. Culture's that far. Isn't it crazy, too, that the culture that shoved down your throat for the last 40 years that your sexuality, your attraction, is not a choice, is now telling you that your gender is a choice? Isn't that crazy? Because the confused are confused. So the same culture that has told us for 40 years, I was born this way. I didn't have a choice, is now telling you, I'm a woman or I'm a man, by the way. And then you ask them, well, what is a woman? And they don't know how to define it. I've never said that on a Sunday. Why does. Why does that matter? Because all confusion leads to more confusion. All confusion creates confusion. And all confusion around sexuality and gender always strips humanity of the imago dei, the image of God. Right? And so we subtly strips us of who we are. So Paul says, act like men. So we're not to act like women. We're to embrace women, honor women, serve women, love women, receive women, partner with women, marry women, raise up women. But we're not to be like women because they're different. So to say act like a man is to say, don't act like a woman. But secondly, it's to say don't act like a boy. Paul says, I became a man, and I became a man the moment I put away childish things. So if I could say it like this, you did not choose to be born a male, but becoming a man is your choice. Become. Become. This word, become, means a process, a journey, a decision. Manhood is the decision you make to mature, to become mature again. It's not an age. It's the decision every day. And I want to say that every day to continue to put Childish things away. I want to give you four things about boys and men. Here's the first. Boys are shocked. Men prepare. Boys are shocked. Like, you gonna wake up Monday to your alarm and like, oh, it's Monday again. Why are we still shocked by that? Boys are shocked. Boys are always playing defense. Boys. There's always a 911 emergency. But men have began to live a life where they prepare. It's what God did in Joseph's life when Joseph had seven years of plenty followed by seven years of famine. What is that? That was called preparation. Everybody say preparation. I don't know how much money you're making right now. You might not make that much next year. So you better prepare. Well, that's a lack of faith. Understood. But you might not. So you better prepare. Boys are always shocked. We were taught Pastor Marcus and I were talking about that when, like, if someone gives a large financial gift to the church, we don't just budget that in think that's just going to happen every year. We are very strategic about what to do with that and mark it as okay. That was a large, unique gift that came into our ministry. We're going to steward it and we're going to use it correctly. But we can't just count on that family doing that again next year. That's called preparation. Men, prepare. Let me give you a very popular phrase that is not in the Bible. This is not in the Bible. Tomorrow is promised to no man. That's not a scripture. And the context of scripture. This. James says it and the proverb writer says it. And James is quoting the proverb writer. Don't boast about tomorrow. Don't boast about it, but prepare for it. You see the difference? I'm not boasted about tomorrow. That's what James said. Don't boast about tomorrow. Say, if it is the Lord's will, may it be done. I'm not going to be prideful about tomorrow. I'm not going to boast about tomorrow. But I better prepare for tomorrow. And what. What we've also had is generation after generation of. And we just had it. The most trending topic on TikTok over the last few weeks was the rapture, because people thought we were getting raptured on September 23rd and 24th. And then they went, ah, the 25th. And then they went, Ah, actually, October 4th and 5th. I'm all about the rapture. I believe we're going up one day. I believe in the second coming of Christ. But here was Jesus teaching about the end times. Occupy till I come not sell your cars, go into debt, be an idiot, look like an idiot on tick tock and then when you miss it, go. Well, at least I was excited about the end. No, you're just a fool. I am planning for tomorrow and I, I ex. I'm living today, expecting to wake up tomorrow. I might not. I hope I do. I want to live a long life. But I'm preparing to wake up tomorrow, not to wake up and go, oh crap. I thought the rapture was going to happen last night. Oh man. Proverbs 6 says go to the ant, you sluggard. Wow. Dang. I was actually, I was like, do I ignore that? No, he said it consider its ways and be wise. It has no commander. It has no commander. It doesn't need a leader. Look at verse seven. It doesn't need a leader, no overseer or ruler. Your need to be managed is keeping you poor. Your need to be managed is keeping you broke. Ants are self starters. Ants don't need someone keeping an eye on the time clock. Ants don't pack up their backpack 10 minutes before it's time to leave for work. And then check Instagram for the last 10 minutes of work and then go, I wonder why I can't get a raise. Ants don't need a commander. Ants don't need an overseer. Ants don't need a ruler. Yet it stores its provision in summer and gathers its food at harvest. Look what it does. It prepares an ant. If a dumb little ant can do that, we can do that. If an ant knows how to work hard in one season and reap the benefits in another season, we can also work hard in one season, reap the benefits in another season. And we don't need a leader. We don't need a manager. We don't need an overseer to tell us that the ant doesn't need a leader. The ant plans for the future. So here's the question. I want you to write it down. What do you want your life to look like in a year? What do you want your life to look like in a year? I would start reverse engineering that. Think about what your life could look like in a year. And now go a year in advance. Where's your marriage at? Where's your health at? Where's your walk with God at? Where's your faith at? Where's your money at? Where's your mind at? Where's your mental health at? Okay, now start reverse engineering. What is it going to take? We must prepare because boys are shocked. It's a new Year. And it's like, oh, my God, it's another year. Oh, my God. We're still having the same marriage. Oh, my God. We're. Oh, my God. I've still never read the Bible. Oh, my God. I still haven't started tithing. Oh, my God. I still. I still can't worship. Oh, my God. I still am still fighting this pornography, and you're just shocked. But men prepare. Men. Men get apps on their phone like Covenant Eyes so they can't look at porn. Men create budgets to give to the house of God. Men. Men prepare. It's not near. It's not luck. It's not, God likes you more than me, or God likes me more than you, or God likes them more than them. It's preparation. So here's a few things. Men have a budget, and men have a schedule. The budget tells your money where to go, and the schedule tells your time where to go. One more time. Men have a budget and a schedule. The budget tells your money where to go, and your schedule tells your time where to go. Men think in years, not in days. Is this all right? You're like, it's not okay? Well, they have a budget. We tell our money where to go. We don't look at the end of the month and go, oh, my God, where did the money go? You know where the money went because you created a budget and you told it where to go. You tell it where to. And that means maybe not eating out. That means maybe not a new toy. That means maybe not that new car. That means maybe a Honda, not a BMW. That means shopping at Target, not at Nordstrom. That means not being able to go golf. That means, you know, playing at a course on the north side of town where you got to wear a bulletproof vest. And not in Summerlin, you might be at $20 rounds, not $200 rounds. What am I saying? I'm saying you got to create a budget. You got to have a budget. Even if you're very wealthy, you still got to have a budget. You still got to be storing away money. You got to have a plan. Okay? When it. When it comes to schedule, we start the day in word and prayer. How many have a consistent time that you wake up every day? Can I see your hand? You have a consistent time that might be 5:00am, 4:00am, 6:00am, 8:00am Whatever it might be, okay? You have a consent. I'm asking you to cut, cut, slice, cut, covenant with God and start waking up 15 minutes earlier than you do right now and start giving God 15 minutes at the beginning of every day. Word and prayer. I woke up this morning and I read Proverbs 11. Why? Because it's the 11th. And then I read a little from the Gospels, and I read a little bit from Psalms, and I just got the Word in me. Not because I was preaching today, but because yesterday I read Proverbs 10, and tomorrow I'm going to read Proverbs 12. Why? Because I have a schedule. And I prayed a little bit. And I'm asking you to pray a little bit. Start your day in word and prayer. Do something. Here's another thing about schedule. Do something every day that feels like a win. Just go to the gym. You don't even need to go inside. Just pull up and look and say, I got. I got a little closer. Lord, order a salad. Don't even eat it. Just throw it away. But just order it. Take the picture eating clean and then throw it away and order a burger. Just do something. What am I saying? Do something that gives you a win. Every day. Emotional win, mental win, physical win. Get some wins under your belt. I read a chapter in the Bible. Today I prayed for five minutes. Today I listened to a worship song. Today I didn't look at porn. Today I didn't masturbate. Today I didn't drink. Today I didn't overeat. Today I didn't drop an F bomb on my kids. Today, I got a win. Wins start stacking. They start stacking. All of a sudden you got more money in the bank account. And all of a sudden you're sleeping better. And all of a sudden you're thinking better. And all of a sudden your marriage is getting better. Why? Because you're approaching the day to get a win. Men need wins. We tell boys it don't matter if you win or lose, but men know that's a lie. Don't we know that's a lie? We're lying to our kids. It's okay, they're five. But when you're 50, you need a win. When you're 30, you need a win. When YOU'RE 18, when YOU'RE. When YOU'RE 15, you need wins. I want to just. I want to get that in your heart. Men, you. You need wins. You need them. So here's what I'm working on right now. In my own life, I want to give this to you. I'm trying to remove everything from my life that strips me of confidence. If it don't make me confident, I want it out of my life to the best of my ability. From the way I think, to the way I read, to the way I interact, to the way that I eat, to the way that I work out. I'm trying to get more. I'm trying to get more wins under my belt because men need wins. Number two, boys are isolated. Men are connected. Isn't that so true, Bruce? Men are connected. Men know they need each other. A man who isolates himself, he gets to seek his own desires. Look at this. Proverbs 18:1. A man who isolates himself seeks his own desires. He rages against all wise judgment. Isolated men are always angry. Isolated men always hate other men. Isolated men are always prideful. Like Marcus teased me about crying, you actually need friends who can actually laugh at you. You got to go to the golf course and slice it and go, you loser. What is wrong with you? I was golfing the other day, you know, and all the guys grabbed their pitching wedge and I grabbed my eight iron. I was like, that's like three clubs apart, y'. All. That's good. That's okay. Make fun of me. That's all good. It's like you get so isolated and that's all ego. Boys are isolated, but men are connected. Your ability to surround yourself with like minded men will be the deciding factor in your spiritual success. Your ability to surround, that's a choice to put childish things away, surround yourself. Some men look at this in Mark 2. Bringing to him, bringing to Jesus a paralyzed man, carried by the four of them. There's a man who's a paralytic, he cannot walk, and his four friends carry him to Jesus. Let me just. This is your whole life right here. Watch, watch, watch, watch. Please look at me. Some days you're carrying, and some days you carry. And some days you're being carried. There's seasons that I get to carry my friends. You gonna make it. I got you. Let's pray. I'm on the next flight. Coming. We gonna pray. Here's some money. Whatever you need. What? What can I do? Sometimes you get to carry, other times it's, I need somebody to carry me. And when you're carrying, that's purpose. When you're being carried, that's humility. And you need both. So sometimes you're walking in your prayer and, man, you're carrying that friend who's going through hell. Marriage going through hell, Work, life going through hell, Money going through hell. And you're carrying a man, and you're walking them through that addiction, and you're walking them through that pain. Man, you're carrying and you have purpose because you're connected and you're helping somebody. But other days, you're connected by being the man in the mat. Both are necessary. Men make up 80% of suicides. We think of women as being so much more emotional than us. Huh? And yet we commit 80% of suicides. Why? Because we're so isolated. We're as emotional as women. We just express it different. Women express through tears. Women express through words. Women express through bonding. Women express through bringing people around men. All that emotion just boils and boils and boils and boils and boils. Pastor Marcus talked about a father wound. Most men have a father wound because of a lack of affirmation and relationship they had with their dad. And because of that, men seek validation. But you must surrender your need to be fathered, and you must embrace friendship. Must say that again. Everything he just talked about, you get now from the heavenly father. But you have to surrender your need to have that earthly father's affirmation, because it's probably not coming, or at least not coming at the level that you need it. So you have to surrender your need to be fathered and embrace friendship. I'm where I'm at today because of friends. I didn't get it from dad. I didn't get it the way I wanted it from pastors. So what kept me going was the friendships. Not. I didn't have a daddy. Daddy didn't love me. Pastor didn't affirm me. Pastor didn't give me enough validation. I didn't. So because I didn't get that, yes, I get it from God and from a close, intimate relationship with the Lord. But on a natural level, on just a straight up natural level, I had to find validation and relational health through friendship. I had to die to the question, are you proud of me? I had to die to that. I had to die to that. I feel so loved today. I feel so honored today by you, and I'm so grateful for that. But doing what I do, walking in the calling that I have, I had to die to that. I had to die to Sunday afternoons going to my wife, going, are you proud of me? Did I preach good? I had to die to that. With the team, we have this staff group text, and after we moved in on May 4th of 2025, I wrote a big, long emotional thing. Wow. What an amazing moment. What an amazing wow. I just love y' all so much, you know, and then you get like a staff, like, you know, giving you a thumbs up, you know, can I be? Is this okay? Can I be this real? You know how I did Basilio? I said, leave the chat. And I had to go die for like, four months to that chat because I was so mad at the staff, because I was like, I just almost died for the. Like, leave the chat. A lot of other words said outside of the chat. Amen. Not for men's conference, not for your ears, but just for my wife's and a few friends. And I had to die to that. I had to die to it. And then I had to get over it. And then I had to forgive. And about a month ago, I reentered the chat. Amen. I wrote my wife. I sent her a text. I said, add me back. She said, are you sure you're ready? They might break your heart again. I said, put me back in. I've died to that. I've died to that. I have to be able to get up here and preach the word of God and live for God and live for my family and be a man of God. And if you're proud of me, great. And if you're not proud of me, and if you see it, great. And if you don't see it. But I had to die to that question. So in response, I had to fill my life with men of God who were going in the same direction as me. Shared values had to become what's most important, and shared values had to become more important than validation. Shared values had to become more important than validation. If Marcus never invites me to Seven Hills again, that's okay. We have shared values. We're going in the same direction, and we're helping each other in our destiny, whether we preach for each other or not.
