
Hosted by Jamie Fitzjohn · EN
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➤ Thank you for stopping by. I want to let you know that I'm not a therapist, psychologist, or licensed professional of any kind. I'm someone who's spent 20+ years doing this work on myself, learning extensively, and walking others through it. Everything I share is based on my own deep experience and exhaustive research. If you're dealing with serious trauma or mental health issues, please work with a qualified professional. This is here to guide and support you.
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The information in this video is for entertainment purposes only and reflects my personal opinions. It is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice. If you are navigating trauma, mental health challenges, or anything else, please seek guidance from a licensed therapist or a qualified healthcare provider.
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You are inbetween two chapters of your life right nowSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/jamie-fitzjohn/donations

The positive side of shadow work, exploring the golden shadow, Carl Jung's golden shadow concept, and the shadow work benefits most people miss. This covers the hidden strengths in your shadow, accessing your shadow's good side, shadow potential, suppressed talents and gifts, the positive shadow self, and using shadow work for personal growth and confidence.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/jamie-fitzjohn/donations

Fear of starting shadow work... if you're scared to start shadow work, dealing with shadow work anxiety, or afraid of doing shadow work, this is for you. Covering shadow work resistance, how to start shadow work when you're scared, overcoming fear of inner work, why shadow work feels scary, and shadow work for beginners who are afraid.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/jamie-fitzjohn/donations

How to heal with shadow work, covering shadow work for emotional healing, the inner healing journey, and deep healing shadow work. This explores how shadow work heals you, shadow work and therapy, healing your shadow self, the shadow work healing process, emotional wounds and shadow work, and self-healing through shadow.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/jamie-fitzjohn/donations

This episode is for the person who is addicted to the idea of change but terrified of actually doing it. If you've ever Googled why can't I change my life, why do I keep self-sabotaging, or why do I stay stuck even when I know what to do, this is the one.We break down the psychology behind why people resist change even when they're desperate for it. Why your brain is wired to keep you exactly where you are. Why comfort zones are not comfortable, they're just familiar. And why familiarity feels like safety even when it's slowly destroying you. We talk about the gap between knowing and doing, why you procrastinate on the things that matter most, and why you keep choosing short-term comfort over long-term fulfilment.This goes deeper than discipline and motivation. This is about identity. You don't change because deep down you don't believe you deserve the life you say you want. You've built an identity around struggle, around being the person who almost made it, the person who had potential but never followed through. And that identity is running your life whether you realise it or not.We get into why you might fear success more than failure, why you unconsciously block your own progress, and why you keep repeating the same cycles over and over again. We explore what it really means to be stuck in a loop, why personal development feels like it's not working, how to stop talking about change and actually start changing, and what happens psychologically when you finally stop lying to yourself about what you really want.If you're the person who buys the self-help books but never reads them, who writes the goals but never hits them, who makes the plan every January and quits by February, this is your wake-up call. We talk about learned helplessness, fear of the unknown, emotional avoidance, and the real reason you won't commit to your own transformation.This episode is for anyone searching for how to stop procrastinating on my life, why do I keep making the same mistakes, how to break out of a rut, why can't I follow through, or how to actually change when you feel stuck. The truth is you already know what to do. You're just too afraid to do it. And we're going to talk about why.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/jamie-fitzjohn/donations

You think you're stoic. You think you've mastered your emotions. You don't cry. You don't react. You don't let things get to you. But that's not strength. That's not stoicism. That's emotional shutdown. This episode is for the person who has confused being numb with being strong. If you've ever asked yourself why can't I feel anything, why don't I cry, am I emotionally unavailable, or is something wrong with me because I don't feel emotions, this is for you.I break down the difference between genuine emotional resilience and emotional suppression. Why so many people especially men have been taught to shut down their feelings and call it maturity. Why not reacting isn't the same as not feeling. And why the stoic mask you wear is actually a trauma response disguised as a philosophy.We go into the psychology of emotional numbing. How it develops in childhood when expressing emotion wasn't safe. How it becomes your default setting as an adult. How it destroys your relationships because you can't give people what you've cut yourself off from. We talk about alexithymia, emotional detachment, the freeze response, and why you might intellectualise everything instead of actually feeling it.This isn't an attack on stoicism. This is a reality check. Real stoicism is about processing emotions wisely, not pretending they don't exist. We explore why people hide behind philosophy to avoid therapy, why reading Marcus Aurelius won't heal your childhood, and why the toughest thing you'll ever do is admit that you're hurting.We get into how emotional shutdown affects your mental health, your romantic relationships, your friendships, your career, and your sense of self. Why you attract people who eventually leave because they can't reach you. Why you feel lonely even in a room full of people. Why you've built a life that looks successful on paper but feels completely hollow.If you're searching for why can't I feel emotions anymore, emotional numbness causes, am I emotionally broken, stoicism vs emotional avoidance, why do I push people away, or how to start feeling again, this episode will challenge everything you think you know about yourself. You're not stoic. You're surviving. And there's a difference.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/jamie-fitzjohn/donations

Are you just going through the motions? Waking up, going to work, coming home, scrolling your phone, falling asleep and doing it all again tomorrow? This episode is for anyone who feels like they're not really living, just existing. If you've ever asked yourself why do I feel so empty, why does nothing excite me anymore, or why do I feel like I'm wasting my life, this is the conversation you need to hear.We're going deep into what it actually means to exist without purpose, to drift through your twenties or thirties with no real direction, no passion, no drive. Not because you're lazy. Not because something is wrong with you. But because somewhere along the way you stopped asking yourself what you actually want. You settled into a routine that keeps you safe but keeps you small. You chose comfort over growth and now you feel stuck in life and you don't know how to get out.This isn't a motivational speech. This is a psychological breakdown of why so many people feel disconnected from their own lives. We talk about emotional numbness, feeling like life has no meaning, losing yourself in your daily routine, and the deep fear of actually waking up and realising you've been sleepwalking through your best years. We get into why you might be afraid of change even though you say you want it, why you stay in situations that drain you, and why you keep choosing what's familiar over what's fulfilling.If you've ever felt like you're watching your life from the outside, like everyone else has figured it out except you, like you're just surviving not thriving, then this episode will hit different. We explore what it means to feel lost in life, how to stop just surviving and start living, how to find purpose when you feel empty, and why you feel like you're running out of time even though you're still young.This is for the person who looks fine on the outside but is falling apart on the inside. The person who keeps saying I'm fine but hasn't felt fine in years. The one who is scared to admit they don't know who they are anymore. We go into the psychology of why people stay stuck, what happens when you avoid your own feelings for too long, and how to actually start making changes when everything feels pointless.If you're searching for how to find yourself, how to stop feeling numb, why do I feel like I'm not living my life, signs you're just existing not living, or quarter life crisis help, this episode was made for you. Stop existing. Start questioning. The truth is uncomfortable but it's the only thing that will set you free.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/jamie-fitzjohn/donations

You're not living your life. You're watching a version of it play out inside your head.You daydream about the conversation you'll never have. You fantasize about the life you'll never build. You create entire worlds in your mind where you're loved and seen and safe because reality never gave you that. This isn't imagination. This is escapism. And it's a trauma response.As a child when things were too painful you had nowhere to go. So your mind built you an exit. You checked out. You went somewhere inside your head where things were better. That worked when you were seven. It's destroying you at thirty.Maladaptive daydreaming and childhood trauma are directly connected. When your emotional needs were never met you learned to meet them in fantasy. You imagined the love you never received. You built a life in your head because the real one was too painful to stay in. Now you can't stop. How To Stop Maladaptive Daydreaming When Nothing Else WorksLiving in your head is not a personality trait. It's dissociation dressed up as daydreaming. You zone out in conversations. You can't stay present with people who love you. You live more in fantasy than reality and you don't know how to stop because the real world never felt safe enough to fully show up in.Scrolling your phone for hours is escapism. Binge watching until 3am is escapism. Replaying conversations that never happened is escapism. It all traces back to a nervous system that learned early that checking out is safer than being present.The gap between the life you imagine and the life you're living isn't a motivation problem. It's a wound problem. You built an inner world because the outer one failed you. Now that inner world has become a prison you can't leave.If you spend more time in your head than in your actual life this video is for you.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/jamie-fitzjohn/donations

People-pleasing is often misunderstood as simple kindness, but psychologically, it operates as a survival strategy often driven by a fear of rejection, conflict, or abandonment. When you constantly prioritize others' needs at the expense of your own, you suppress your authentic feelings.This chronic suppression directly triggers people-pleasing anger . Because anger is a natural emotional boundary signal, bottling it up doesn't make it disappear; instead, it morphs into deep-seated people-pleasing and resentment . You become resentful of the very people you are trying to please, feeling taken advantage of, even though you willingly say "yes."The Cycle of Passive AggressionOn online communities like people-pleasing anger Reddit threads, thousands of individuals share the same pattern: they lack the tools to express anger healthily, so it leaks out sideways. This leads directly to people-pleasing and passive aggression .Instead of stating a boundary directly, a frustrated people-pleaser might resort to:Sarcasm or subtle jabsSullen behavior or the silent treatment"Accidentally" forgetting commitments or dragging their feetTransitioning to Sacred RageTo break this toxic loop, modern psychology and spiritual frameworks introduce the concept of sacred rage .Sacred rage meaning: Unlike destructive, volatile anger, sacred rage is the conscious, honored realization that your boundaries have been violated. It is a fierce, protective energy that says, "My boundaries matter, and I will no longer abandon myself to keep you comfortable."This concept is heavily explored in mainstream media, including the critically acclaimed book Sacred Rage by Robin Wright (which analyzes collective, institutional fury) as well as various contemporary self-help literature focusing on personal sovereignty. It has also gained massive traction as a foundational topic for a podcast episode description, providing listeners a framework to transform their guilt into personal power. To understand its weight, we can look at common sacred rage quotes that emphasize this transformation:"Sacred rage is not about destruction; it is the fire that burns away the illusions of who you thought you had to survive.""When a people-pleaser touches their sacred rage, they finally stop asking for permission to exist."By shifting away from passive aggression and embracing the clarity of your boundaries, you stop pleasing others at the cost of your own soul.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/jamie-fitzjohn/donations

People pleasing is a behavioral pattern where an individual prioritizes the needs and desires of others over their own, often at the expense of their own well-being. A people pleaser frequently struggles to set boundaries because they fear rejection, conflict, or disapproval. This chronic suppression of personal needs often leads to a buildup of hidden anger, which can manifest as passive-aggressiveness, irritability, or explosive outbursts when the pressure becomes unbearable.The Cycle of ResentmentThe psychology behind people pleasing reveals that it is often rooted in a desire for safety or external validation. However, people pleasing inherently neglects the self, creating a fertile ground for resentment. When a people pleaser constantly sacrifices their time and energy, they may feel underappreciated or used. This resentment grows silently, often directed toward the very people they are trying to accommodate. Over time, this resentment becomes a toxic burden that erodes relationships and self-worth.Understanding the Role of AngerMany discussions on anger and people pleasing psychology highlight that the inability to say "no" is essentially an act of self-betrayal. When a people pleaser avoids conflict, they bury their true feelings, allowing anger to simmer beneath the surface. According to anger and people pleasing reddit threads, many individuals report that they do not realize they are angry until they hit a breaking point. These anger and people pleasing reddit communities often serve as a space for people to vent about how their passive nature invited mistreatment. Furthermore, the anger and people pleasing reddit discourse emphasizes that identifying these patterns is the first step toward reclaiming autonomy.Reclaiming Your VoiceThe anger and people pleasing meaning in a therapeutic context refers to the repression of one's truth to maintain harmony. Once you understand the anger and people pleasing meaning, you can begin to see that your frustration is a signal—it is your psyche telling you that your boundaries have been violated. When you finally grasp the anger and people pleasing meaning, you stop viewing your irritation as a character flaw and start viewing it as a tool for change.In contrast to the destructive repression of standard anger, there is the concept of sacred rage. Sacred rage is the transformative energy found when one stops being a people pleaser and begins to honor their own truth. Sacred rage is not about hurting others; it is about the fierce, protective energy required to reclaim one’s life from the demands of others. By channeling sacred rage, an individual can set firm boundaries, transforming suppressed fury into a powerful catalyst for personal growth.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/jamie-fitzjohn/donations