Ali Landry & Justin Sylvester: Football & Missing Class

Summary

Jeff Lewis Has Issues

Episode: Ali Landry & Justin Sylvester: Football & Missing Class

Date: December 10, 2025
Host: Jeff Lewis – SiriusXM
Guests: Ali Landry, Justin Sylvester
Regulars: Shane, Jen, Jameson
Theme: Unfiltered discussion of Jeff's personal life, family updates, relationships, neighborhood drama, parenting, and with guests Ali Landry and Justin Sylvester, everything from football to college side hustles.

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Episode Overview

This episode is a lively, comedic roundtable with Jeff Lewis, Ali Landry, Justin Sylvester, and the regulars. The conversation veers from caffeine-fueled chaos and fashion police snark, to deeply personal stories about parenting, family, and the realities of growing up in today's world. Justin’s new football gig, missed party invitations, and the curious economics of college kid hustles keep the banter rolling. Expect sharp one-liners, playful shade, and revealing parenting admissions.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Celsius Energy Drink Chaos

[01:23–03:14]

• Jen and Allie introduce Jeff to Celsius, an intense energy drink.
• Warned that it's “like liquid cocaine” (“It’s equivalent to five cups of coffee.”—Allie, 01:37).
• Jeff, normally sensitive to caffeine, tries it, and comedy ensues as the crew jokes about the “tingle,” jitteriness, and pouring ritual: "He pours it like a fucking champagne, you guys." (Jen, 02:07).
• Allie sipping just a little is dramatic enough: "Allie has had approximately 20% of my Celsius can. She's shaking." (Allie, 45:57).

2. Relationship & Neighborhood Drama

[03:14–10:15]

• Justin describes friction with his boyfriend, found “Pepe Le Pew”-like for waking Jen up with kisses despite asking him not to.
  • "The honeymoon ended today." (Jen, 03:53)
  • Allie wryly warns: “You complain about it now, but in a couple years you're gonna wish he kissed you.” (Allie, 05:02)
• The group debates whether redheads can wear orange. Jen lands a dig: "Don't take fashion advice from somebody who wears cardigans like a fucking Vietnam veteran." (Jen, 06:46)
• Neighborhood landscaping drama: Jeff’s olive bush budget solution versus the topiary expectations of their “judgy” gay neighbors.
  • "Tell those gays to calm down." (Allie, 08:10)
  • Discussion of olive tree sex (male/female flowers), with group confusion and laughs about plant biology.

3. Parenting, Santa, and the Bidet Diaries

[10:15–19:36]

• Ali and Jeff swap stories about kids and hygiene (lazy wiping, the bidet—aka “the butt shower”), and how to handle parenting oversharing in “family court.”
• Debate over how to handle the “Is Santa real?” question, with Allie opting for “I believe in Santa” to ethically dodge lying:
  • "That's why I said I believe in Santa, because it's not a total lie." (Allie, 17:27)
• Monroe’s clever note-bribing of the elf (“Dory”) to report favorably to Santa, re-gifting “ugly” purses:
  • "She's generous." (Jeff, 16:08)
  • "No, she's bribing her… she's angling." (Allie, 16:19)

4. Gen Z Manifestation and “Statement” Parenting

[18:18–19:36]

• Allie’s daughter’s “manifestation” technique—speaking in declarative statements about her future car and Las Vegas trips. Allie and Jeff recognize the same trait in themselves, humorously reflecting on their confidence and approach to life.
  • "She’s not asking me. And then when she said she's going to Las Vegas… she just is. It's like, I'm. This is what I'm doing." (Allie, 18:49)
• Jen notes Allie does this too: "You don’t ask anyone for anything. You’re gonna do this and you’re gonna move here. And she’s the same." (Jen, 19:17)

5. College Hustles, Grades, and the France vs. Business Class Dilemma

[19:36–27:02]

• Jeff’s daughter Estella’s college update at Belmont University—struggling with business class grades due to a missed test, but passing. Family trip to France weighed against missing class.
  • "As long as you’re passing, like, that’s really all I care about. So she's gonna have a D in that class." (Jeff, 20:46)
• Group debates if Jeff should have changed the flight so Estella could take her test, or if passing is good enough. Allie: "I think it would send a mixed message to Monroe. Because I'm trying to explain to her how important school is." (Allie, 25:00)
• Jeff admits maybe he prioritized getting to the Cabo house: "That could be a little bit. And that's important." (Jeff, 25:31)
• Discussion: grades don’t always matter for creative careers, but handling responsibility is a teachable moment.

6. College Side Hustle: The Uber/Venmo “Scam”

[27:02–29:30]

• Estella’s entrepreneurial hack: using Ali’s Uber account to ferry friends, then pocketing Venmo from them—Ali pays, Estella profits.
  • "She’s using Allie's Uber account… and the friends will Venmo her, but Allie’s paying for it the whole, every time." (Jeff, 26:45)
  • "You don't tell the person you're scamming that you're scamming them." (Jen, 27:37)

7. Allowance and Campus Life

[28:06–30:54]

• Jeff confesses he doesn’t know Estella’s exact allowance figure (“the business manager handles it”). Cafeteria food is avoided; Estella dines out, using her own funds, not Jeff’s credit card.
• She just landed a job at Kendra Scott (retail store with a “hat bar”), surprising Jeff.
  • "She has no prior experience whatsoever. And they hired her on this box." (Jeff, 29:30)
  • "She got the first schedule and it's like eight hours a day." (Jeff, 30:27)

8. Justin’s New NFL x Bravo Gig and Housewives Drama

[35:34–39:47]

• Justin’s headed to New York for “Reality Hot Seat,” a Bravo/NFL crossover broadcast, commentating live on the Chiefs vs. Texans game with Real Housewives and reality stars.
  • "Somehow I ended up as the NFL expert." (Justin, 35:51)
  • He admits: "I took the job because Heather Gay is going to be on it, and I want to know everything that happened on that flight." (Justin, 36:53)
• Banter about Housewives' showdowns, conspiracies, and how the show will mix football with reality TV commentary.
  • "They told me nothing was off limits." (Jen, 39:01)
  • Three-hour live special, hopes for it to be a recurring series.

9. The Exclusive Party (Non)Invitation

[40:40–45:10]

• Justin and Jeff commiserate about being left off the guest list for Michael Beck’s “Friendsgiving/Housewarming” party.
  • "Not one chump was allowed." (Allie, 40:40)
• Speculate it was likely boring, Ivy-League-attorney-filled, and pretty dry (“None of them drank…buttoned up” — Allie, 45:15).

10. Hotlines: Parenting, College, and Business

[41:44–43:36]

• Listener Joy (Nashville) agrees Estella should take business coursework seriously since being a songwriter is “all about the business side,” reinforcing Jeff’s stance that business knowledge is critical even for creatives.
  • "The most important part is the business side." (Joy, 42:21)
  • Jeff: "I actually completely agree with you. The business is very, very important…" (Jeff, 42:28)
• Continues the gag about parenting: “I’m not gonna teach my 9-year-old how to wipe. I’m just gonna get her a toto [bidet].” (Jeff, 43:39)

11. Wicked Premiere & Hollywood Skinny Pressures

[46:19–47:36]

• Chat about seeing the “Wicked” sequel, cast being “tiny,” and how standing next to extremely thin stars creates pressure.
  • "Cheapest craft services in LA. They are tiny." (Jen, 46:54)
  • "When you’re standing next to someone that skinny, then you have to stop eating because you look like a big cow." (Allie, 47:00)
  • A riff on muscle gain/loss for Hollywood appearances.

12. Upcoming, Callers, and Final Banter

[40:22; 41:44; 44:07]

• Details of upcoming live shows, cocktail hours, and logistics for VIP ticket holders (“Shane knows everything.”).
• Future plans for cars ("G wagon"), birthday presents, Allie’s boundaries as a parent, and more jokes about Celsius jitters.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Celsius:
  • "It's an energy drink. It's equivalent to five cups of coffee." — Allie (01:37)
  • "He pours it like a fucking champagne, you guys." — Jen (02:07)
• On Parenting & Kids’ Tactics:
  • "No, she's bribing her. ... She's angling." — Allie on daughter’s gifts to “Dory” the Elf (16:19)
  • "She just is. It's like, I'm. This is what I'm doing." — Allie, about her daughter's manifestation skills (18:49)
• On Prioritizing School vs. Family Trips:
  • "As long as you're passing, like, that's really all I care about." — Jeff on daughter getting a D due to missing a test (20:46)
  • "That could be a little bit [Cabo was prioritized] — and that's important." — Jeff (25:31)
• On College Side Hustles:
  • "She's using Ali's Uber account. ... then her friends Venmo her … but Ali's paying for it the whole, every time." — Jeff (26:45)
  • "You don't tell the person you're scamming that you're scamming them." — Jen (27:37)
• On Business Education:
  • "It's very hard to make a living as a songwriter these days. And it really is all about the business side of this. ... The most important part is the business side." — Joy, caller (42:21)
• On Skipping School for Fun:
  • "You have taken Monroe out of school for fun events." — Jameson (43:50)
• Wicked Observations:
  • "Cheapest craft services in LA. ... they're all tiny." — Jen (46:54)
• On Party Exclusion:
  • "Not one chump was allowed." — Allie (40:40)
• On Jitteriness:
  • "Ali has had approximately 20% of my Celsius can. She's shaking." — Allie (45:57)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Topic/Quote | |-----------------|-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:23–03:14 | Celsius energy drink intro and chaos | | 03:14–10:15 | Justin’s boyfriend, neighborhood landscaping opinions | | 10:15–19:36 | Parenting, Santa, Elf, and bidet stories | | 19:36–27:02 | College: Estella’s grades, missing class for travel, parental philosophy | | 27:02–29:30 | Estella’s Uber/Venmo side hustle uncovered | | 28:06–30:54 | Allowance, spending at school, getting a job at Kendra Scott | | 35:34–39:47 | Justin’s Bravo-NFL Hot Seat gig, Housewives flight drama | | 40:40–45:10 | The Michael Beck non-invite, party speculation | | 41:44–43:36 | Caller Joy: Importance of business knowledge for songwriters | | 46:19–47:36 | Wicked premiere, Hollywood body image pressures |

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Tone & Style

Convivial, irreverent, fast-paced, with candid self-mockery, gentle shade, and sharp retorts. Parenting is discussed with both honesty and irony, while the social lives of the crew and their larger friend group are regarded with competitive curiosity and playful bitterness. The episode moves rapidly from personal stories to audience Q&A to pop culture observations, never losing its snarky but warm edge.

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For Listeners Who Missed It

This episode covers the hilarity and headaches of parenting, dealing with kids’ growing independence and clever rule-bending, the sometimes arbitrary line between work and school, and how group dynamics play out both on the street (with neighbors judging landscaping) and in social circles (exclusive parties). It also serves up Housewife-adjacent reality TV intrigue, a primer in college-age side hustles, and a cautionary tale about mixing too much caffeine with on-air banter.

Perfect if you want candid insights, biting humor, and a glimpse of real (and surreal) family life, with all the drama and comedy Jeff Lewis and friends can muster.

Transcript

[Jeff Lewis]

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[Jeff Lewis]

When you're Jeff Lewis, the drama never stops.

[Allie]

I have no problem prioritizing myself.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm glad that you're feeling so good about this, but the truth is I got fired and it's your fucking fault.

[Allie]

She gets paid for this shit.

[Jeff Lewis]

You get paid for this shit.

Jeff Lewis has issues.

[Allie]

Hey, it's Jeff Lewis and I have issues. In this episode, Ali Landry and Justin Sylvester join the show. We chat about Justin's football gig and missing party invitation. Plus, Allie shares details about her daughter's college side hustle.

Good morning.

[Shane]

Justin's having anxiety because you just poured a Celsius and he's afraid of you.

[Allie]

What's going on?

[Jen]

Oh, I know what happens when you have a Celsius. I too suffer from multiple Celsius a day.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wait, what is a Celsius?

[Jen]

You're about to find out, bitch.

[Allie]

Are you serious?

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't know what it's like.

[Allie]

It's an energy drink. It's equivalent to five cups of coffee.

[Jeff Lewis]

And that's what you're doing this morning?

[Allie]

Yeah, that's what I do every morning.

[Jen]

By the way, the last.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you also have coffee?

[Allie]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, gosh.

[Jen]

The last time he had a Celsius, he almost got fired from his job that he doesn't even have live on stage.

[Jeff Lewis]

Should I try a Celsius?

[Allie]

No.

[Jen]

Here, here. Also, look. This is my favorite part about it though. My favorite part about it is he pours it like a champagne. He like, it's a flame because he.

[Jeff Lewis]

Does it with extra bubbles.

[Jen]

Oh, yeah, yeah. He pours it like a fucking champagne, you guys.

[Jeff Lewis]

And it's like a cocktail. It has like crushed little bald ice in it.

[Jameson]

No.

[Allie]

Yeah, it's my bullet ice.

[Jen]

Hold a minute, hold a minute. Explain to her. Sorry, this is my friend. I have to explain to her. What's going to happen to her? First of all, when you drink it, it's going to be like you're having your first bump of coke with a narcissist.

[Allie]

It's liquid cocaine.

[Jen]

It's liquid cocaine.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm scared.

[Jen]

So when you feel the tingle, it's okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm a very sensitive, like, to all these things.

[Allie]

A couple sip is not a big deal, but they have all these great, great flavors. You're about to try cherry cola.

[Jeff Lewis]

It has a little bit of an aftertaste.

[Jen]

Is your teeth going numb yet?

[Jameson]

No.

[Allie]

Do you not like it?

[Jeff Lewis]

I like it, I like it. It's not like I like it.

[Jen]

She's going to call you later.

[Allie]

She'll be like, I love it, I.

[Jeff Lewis]

Love it, I love it. That was amazing. This is great. Oh, my God. What is this? We'll see by the end of the show. It's good.

[Allie]

I have a couple sips. They're not going to do anything.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm like, probably for me, it will.

[Allie]

Okay. If you're very sensitive, maybe I am. So those two sips are equivalent to, I think a cup and a half of coffee, right?

[Jen]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

I already had a cup. It's good. It's better in the second sip. Sorry. Go ahead.

[Allie]

Now, Justin Sylvester, we've constantly called you out for you post your boyfriend on Instagram. And each month we get more and more and more. We saw you together on a. Looks like a private plane, and we saw his entire body this time, but we just did not see his face. So I was gonna ask you about it, but then I caught wind of a little bit of a. Is there a tiff right now between him and you?

[Jen]

Yes. Yeah, he's about. He's almost done.

[Allie]

You seemed really annoyed this morning.

[Jen]

He almost died this morning. He was this close from dying this morning.

[Allie]

What happened?

[Jen]

So first, let me explain.

[Allie]

This honeymoon's over.

[Jen]

The honeymoon ended today.

[Allie]

He's.

[Jeff Lewis]

Be careful.

[Jen]

No, no, I'm gonna be listening. I'm gonna tell you what happened, and I'm gonna call. Yeah. Shout out Robert.

He's like Pepe Le Pew. Remember that cartoon?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, but kind of forgot the skunk.

[Jen]

That likes to kiss.

Okay, so this morning I said, hey. Last night, I said, hey, I'm really tired. I have an early morning tomorrow. Like, if you cannot kiss me, that would be great. I just want to sleep in because he wakes up early.

[Allie]

Does that happen during the night?

[Jen]

No, it's like the morning because he wakes up before me and goes to work.

[Allie]

Got it.

[Jen]

And Normally I'm like, oh yeah.

This morning, specifically asked him not to kiss me. And he was like, I won't do it. I won't do it. I won't do it. At about 6:15 I could feel like the slightest baby touch, like a. And I'm like, you couldn't help yourself, could ya? And he like runs out the house, but I'm just like, ugh. I couldn't go back to bed. So I've been up since 6:15 this morning.

[Allie]

Oh, he woke you up?

[Jen]

He woke me up.

[Allie]

Well, you know there's some chumps out there that haven't been kissed in years, right? So they would. I mean, they would love that.

[Jen]

I'll kiss you.

[Allie]

A lot of people would love that. I'll kiss you.

[Jeff Lewis]

God forbid he's kissing you sweetly in the morning.

[Allie]

You complain about it now, but in a couple years you're gonna wish he kissed you.

[Jeff Lewis]

Thank you, Jen.

[Jen]

I know.

[Jeff Lewis]

Very wise advice.

[Allie]

So I don't appreciate it. Why it lasts. Cause it's not gonna last.

[Jen]

You don't think so?

[Allie]

No, it won't.

[Jen]

Damn.

[Shane]

Jeez.

[Allie]

Now sorry. Jameson, I'm really glad. I'm really glad you put that blue vet. So Jameson is a ginger for those of you that don't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

Really?

[Jameson]

Yep.

[Allie]

And he has a ginger mustache today along with his cute little ginger short haircut.

[Jeff Lewis]

Thank you.

[Allie]

Now you realize.

[Jameson]

Wait for it, everyone.

[Allie]

Redheads are not supposed to wear orange.

[Jameson]

Well, this is like a burnt.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's not true.

[Jameson]

Orange. It is like a.

[Allie]

Look it up.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, it's not true. I used to do in my mom's beauty salon. The color matching to the skin. No, Beauty Control Cosmetics. I would drape the fabric and redheads orange.

[Shane]

You're wrong.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're not brown. Ally, she doesn't look white. It is what compliments you.

[Allie]

Ally, he cannot wear red. He cannot wear yellow and he cannot wear orange. He should wear greens, blues, earth tones. Yes, earth browns, beiges, orange, earth tones. Take off the vest.

[Jameson]

I wasn't wearing too much orange.

[Jen]

Okay, hold on, hold on.

[Jameson]

It's an orange.

[Allie]

It looks like a pumpkin.

[Jameson]

It's like a pumpkinish color. It's a fall color and I have a blue vest over it to break it up a little.

[Allie]

Jameson, I'm glad you put the blue vest on.

[Jeff Lewis]

The blue vest does look really good with it. But he can absolutely wear orange.

[Allie]

Take off the vest.

[Jameson]

Where's the music in Jameson?

[Jen]

In Jameson's defense, Google does say yes, redheads can and should, babe, wear orange.

[Jeff Lewis]

Thank you very much.

[Jameson]

Ses.

[Jeff Lewis]

Beauty expert. I complimented him when I walked in.

[Allie]

Thank you. I like it with the vest. I'm glad you broke it up with the vest.

[Jen]

Babe, don't take fashion advice for somebody who wears cardigans like a fucking Vietnam veteran, okay? This man is walking around here like. Like he's getting his pension from the V.A.

[Allie]

You'Re right. I should have done a T shirt with that cardigan.

[Jen]

Thank you.

[Allie]

That's where I went wrong. Yeah.

[Jen]

But look at you now.

[Allie]

Yeah. I thought of you this morning.

[Jen]

Cashmere.

[Jeff Lewis]

I almost put white shirt underneath that.

[Allie]

Almost put a collared shirt under it. And I'm like, there's no way I'm doing that with Justin coming in.

[Jen]

Don't you dare. Don't you dare.

[Jeff Lewis]

So Jeff has a really nice off white sweater, and he has a peak of a white T shirt showing around the neck. And that is very, you know, that's what you do when you. But wear that crewness.

[Jen]

He also has an awkward marine thong on that I saw when he went.

[Jeff Lewis]

To the gathering when he bent out. Yeah.

[Allie]

Justin was very shady this morning about my landscaping that's going in. So first of all, there's dozens and dozens and dozens of those olive bushes that you. That you do not like. They are going to eventually end up being topiaries, but the topiaries were $280 each, so I thought, I'm going to save a lot of money by buying the little, you know, sad little bush, and then I'm gonna grow it into a ball.

[Jen]

Sure.

[Shane]

They're growers, not showers.

[Jen]

Sure.

[Jeff Lewis]

Ooh.

[Allie]

But you are not happy with it.

[Jen]

Oh, I'm pissed.

[Jeff Lewis]

What is bothering you?

[Allie]

So are you now jogging down a different street?

[Jen]

Oh, no, no, I had to. No, I can't. I can't do it. And by the way, the other gays on the street are talking about the bushes.

[Allie]

Will you tell them I'm not done with my landscaping. Tell those gays to calm down.

[Jeff Lewis]

Relax.

[Allie]

I have three olive trees coming, and.

[Jeff Lewis]

Then I have more olive bushes.

And they'll be very bushy in the future.

[Allie]

I have a fountain. Coming, coming. I have more lighting going in. Tell those gays to just relax.

[Jen]

No, we can't handle it. First and foremost, you drive a Range Rover, bro. Like, if you couldn't afford a $280 topiary, you shouldn't have moved into the $6 million house.

[Jeff Lewis]

Put a fence around it, Jeff, so they can't bother you.

[Shane]

I wish. We can't do fence.

[Allie]

I hope it's worth more than that now. That all the money I put in. But if you imagine at 2 8, I mean there had to be at least 30, it would have been $10,000 in topiaries. I'm not doing that.

[Jeff Lewis]

Can you imagine?

[Shane]

That's one service call on the Range Rover.

[Allie]

I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. So I'm saving the money for the olive trees which Ali gets because we want mature. I didn't realize there's male and female olive trees.

[Jeff Lewis]

There is, there is.

[Allie]

Did you know that, Jameson?

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't know that.

[Jameson]

I did know that. That's I guess everything. Everything fucks.

[Allie]

I don't think the trees have sex.

[Jameson]

That's how they pollinate, right? It must be.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, I think so.

[Jen]

They have a three way with the bees. The bees are the three way.

[Allie]

Is it the female? The one with the berries, the olives?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, yeah, I would guess. Well you know what? Maybe I'm wrong. We should look that up. I just know that. I know that. No, no, no. It's a little cross. Like look it up because I know.

[Allie]

That I want the fruitless.

[Jeff Lewis]

You want the fruitless?

[Allie]

I don't want those berries. They stain the concrete. They stain everything.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think it's like something you do to them to make them fruitless.

[Shane]

Okay, so the trees do have like both male and female flowers usually on the same tree. But I think you can do it. So it's just male flowers.

[Jeff Lewis]

There you go.

[Allie]

It says olive trees do not have separate male and female trees.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know, but he's saying two together.

[Shane]

But you can, but because it grows male and female flowers on the tree. But if you can like breed it so that it's just male flowers then it wouldn't produce.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's it. I knew it was something.

[Allie]

I want the males, I do not want the females with the berries.

[Shane]

Don't do it only.

[Jen]

Yeah, you don't. Both bottoms.

[Allie]

I'm sure those gays are gonna want the male trees as well. How many gays are on our street?

[Jen]

There's a few gays on your street, you know that.

[Allie]

They're judgy, aren't they?

[Jen]

Yeah. You know they walk around, we look at people's houses like them checking it out.

[Allie]

Did they like what I did so far before the olive bushes? Okay, then I went wrong with the olive. Just tell them in about.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's just premature.

[Allie]

36 months. It's gonna look great.

[Jen]

36 months.

[Jeff Lewis]

They've been waiting long enough for this house to be done.

[Jen]

By the way, he told me he was moving In. In July.

[Jeff Lewis]

I've been hearing that.

[Allie]

Yeah. It just keeps getting used to give.

[Jeff Lewis]

Me a hard time now. How long are we into this?

[Allie]

Three years.

[Jeff Lewis]

Three years. Okay.

[Jen]

Well, you're like the white charade. You like spring, summer. Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Rose gonna be in high school by the time I know. She's like, I don't want my room like this anymore.

[Allie]

No. Told me. She's like, I don't like mermaids anymore. I'm like, can we just live with the mermaids for a little bit, please?

[Jeff Lewis]

You're gonna have to change it.

[Allie]

Were your kids ever lazy about, like, wiping their bottoms? Yes. Cause that's what I've been dealing with lately. I'm like, you need to make sure you wipe very well. And so I put her on my bidet. Yeah, the toto.

[Jeff Lewis]

She like that?

[Allie]

She's into it. She's calling it the butt shower. So.

[Jen]

So what's she gonna do when she go to school?

[Allie]

I'm gonna have to take. I don't know. I'm gonna have to sit.

I explained to her, I'm like, this is for the rear. This is for your lady parts. And so I told her, I'm like, you press this button, but then you have to press off before you do the other one. Well, she just got off. The toilet didn't shut it off, so that it sprayed the entire bathroom, of course. The walls, the floor, the window, everything. I'm like, monroe, you gotta turn it off first. You can't just get off when you're done.

[Jeff Lewis]

Like, I'm done.

[Allie]

Bye.

[Jen]

I cannot wait for this to come up in family court.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jen]

This is gonna be amazing.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, I know. We have one in one bathroom. And that's the. That the kids want to use all the time as well. They love it.

[Allie]

I put one in her new bathroom. You did? But.

It needs to, because she's a little lazy when it comes to that. And I have to stand over when she brushes her teeth too.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, the brushes teeth.

[Allie]

Because she'll do that in five seconds forever.

[Jeff Lewis]

That doesn't even happen. Like, I looked at my boys, I was like, when was the last time you brushed your teeth? It was like, you have trees growing on them.

They have. They don't even care.

[Allie]

And then. Are you. Are you past elf on the shelf?

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, yeah. I think this year.

[Jen]

How old are they?

[Jeff Lewis]

12 is the youngest. And I think it's because he. The older siblings, you know, like, his brother's 14, but I still haven't said the official. Like, there's no Santa Claus yet to the 14 year old. I don't think he wants to hear it. I made that mistake with Estella. She was like, mom, like, I know Santa Claus is not real. I know. And I was like, okay, Estella, you're right. And then she starts crying, like, why didn't you tell me that? So I'm not going to make that mistake. I'm just going to kind of just, you know, glaze over it.

[Allie]

She really does want to believe in it. And she asked me over the weekend, she goes, is Santa real?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes.

[Allie]

And I go, why would you ask me that? And she said, well, I asked Daddy Gage and he said, what do you think? And that makes me think that Santa's not real. And I said, well. I said, well, I believe in Santa. Yeah, I don't want to lie.

[Jen]

It's a great response.

[Allie]

So I go, I believe in Santa. And. And she started, well, is the elf coming to the house? I said, well, yeah, I mean, she should be here on December 1st. She's probably on her way. And she goes, well, I don't have an elf at Daddy Gage's. And I said, well, it sounds like Daddy Gage doesn't believe in Santa or the elf. I get some. I mean, if you were Santa, would you want to go to Daddy Gage's house? You don't believe that's true. So I said, so I believe in Santa and I believe in the elves, and that's why they probably come here. And then over the weekend, I got mad at her because she went up to the rooftop deck and she didn't close the door. And then the wind opened the door. So the door was open for like a day and I didn't even know. And so I said, I was like questioning everybody. I'm like, who left the door open? Who left the door open? The cat could have got out, blah, blah, blah. And then finally, after I accused everyone in the house, she said, well, Daddy, I did go up there. And I go, you've watched me question everyone and now you're piping up. And she said, oh, well, I went up there, but I got it close. I said, well, you didn't get it close because of the wind opened it. So then when Dory showed up this morning, she says to me, how did Dory get in the house? And I go, I don't know. She goes, do you think that maybe she's the one that went through the rooftop deck?

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, she's pushed it on somebody else.

[Allie]

And I go, I'm like.

Maybe.

Because otherwise I'D have to come up with another way. How did Dory get in the house?

[Shane]

Does the elf come down the chimney or. No.

[Allie]

Well, the problem is. I've said that before, but because our fireplace is modern, it has a glass on the front. She's already said that to me.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's always asking how Dory gets in.

[Jen]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, Lord. Good luck.

[Shane]

There's the vent on the top. She can just squeeze on through.

[Allie]

I didn't think of that. Okay, that's.

[Shane]

I just learned about the vent.

[Jeff Lewis]

Mine never asked about that.

[Allie]

Oh, yeah, she's asking lots of questions.

[Jeff Lewis]

You gotta be on your toes.

[Jen]

By the way, observation. Allie's been fidgeting with enhance. She's like this over here.

[Jeff Lewis]

Celsius is kicking in.

[On! Nicotine Pouches Announcer]

Oh, yeah.

[Allie]

She looks chittery.

[Jen]

Look, I saw her scratch her neck like this. I'm like, here. He goes.

[Jeff Lewis]

I am moving a lot.

[Jameson]

You're right.

[Jeff Lewis]

I am, like, moving.

[Allie]

When Monroe started asking me about Santa, she had her iPad in her lap. And she goes. And after, like, daddy believes in Santa. Blah, blah, blah, blah, she goes, siri, no. Is Santa real? And I go, I'm cooked. I'm done. It's over. And Siri said yes. Thank God Siri said yes.

[Jen]

That white lady saved you.

[Allie]

Oh, my God.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wait. This kid is something.

[Allie]

I know.

[Jeff Lewis]

She really is.

[Jen]

Yeah, you're screwed.

[Jeff Lewis]

You really are.

[Allie]

So then, now that we believe in Santa again, and we believe in Dory, who's the elf? She wrote her. She's covering her bases. So she wrote a little note. She said to Dory, I hope you like these. Love, Monroe. And she took two of the little Labubu purses and put it in a nice little bag for Dory to take back to the North Pole.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's generous.

[Allie]

No, she's bribing her.

[Jen]

She's a Lewis.

[Jeff Lewis]

Like, she's a giver.

[Allie]

Yeah. No, no, no, no. She's angling.

[Jen]

She knows what's up.

[Allie]

Yeah.

[Jen]

And by the way, she hates those lububu purses. Like, they're not her favorite.

[Jeff Lewis]

So she wants to give them away. The.

[Allie]

I think the ugly ones. No, she's got so many of them. You know, she picked the two ugly ones and she thought, I'm gonna. Because she knows that Dory goes and reports back to Santa. So she's bribing her. Oh, take these nice little fake Prada bags back to. Back to the North Pole.

[Jeff Lewis]

You guys, leave Monroe alone.

[Jen]

Take these Tsunades.

[Jeff Lewis]

So thoughtful. And she's giving I.

[Jen]

Like a day ago, A day ago, she almost Got the housekeeper fired.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Jen]

She is not giving.

[Allie]

I just hope she does. I hope Daddy Gage doesn't fuck it up. I hope he just goes along with it.

[Shane]

She's.

[Jeff Lewis]

She should have a conversation with him.

[Jen]

Yeah, you should have a conversation.

[Allie]

Close.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know.

[Allie]

I'll just give him a call right now.

[Jen]

Yeah, why don't you just text him?

[Jameson]

No, no.

[Allie]

Let me just call my attorney and then she can talk to his attorney and then. Yeah, we could do a conference call. That sounds great, Ally. And that'll cost me about five grand.

[Jameson]

Is this challenging at all?

[Allie]

And then I have to buy even shittier olive bushes.

[Jen]

Don't call him.

[Danielle]

Don't call him.

[Jeff Lewis]

Ok, fine.

[Jameson]

Is it a little challenging for you? Because you're always like, I. I want to be 100 honest with her at all times. Like, that's a big thing for you. So this must be a bit of a challenge.

[Allie]

That's why I said I believe in Santa, because it's not a total lie.

[Jameson]

I do believe you redirected it.

[Allie]

Yeah.

[Jen]

You still believe in Santa.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's such a lie. No, say it in a different. Like, I believe in Santa. Like, there's a bigger Santa necessarily, like that kind.

[Jameson]

We probably all agree you're doing the right thing. Like, you don't need to ruin for her this year.

[Allie]

She's still loving the whole thing. I don't want to take that from her.

[Jeff Lewis]

Don't.

[Allie]

Oh, you know what she said to me? She goes after she talked to Siri, and she goes, yeah, she goes, I figured there's no way you could ever put those toys together. I'm like. I'm like, bitch, it took me two hours to put that fucking village together. I was up at like 4am Putting that thing together. And then she's like, there's no way you could have done that. Well, I did do that.

[Jeff Lewis]

But the fact that she's thinking like, that's just what I'm saying. You're in trouble. The fact that she's thinking about who put together.

[Allie]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's where we have the problem.

[Allie]

I know.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's all the other stuff. This kid is like, really?

[Jen]

God, I'm gonna move in your house at 14. I just want to see her with your ass mentally every day. She's gonna emotionally fuck you up.

[Allie]

The way she speaks, though, it's interesting. It's like. It's like she's read the Secret. Because the way she speaks, it's like it's happening. Like, she tell me things. Like, it's happening. Like when she told Me that she's getting a G wagon for her 16th birthday. The way she tells me. She's telling me. She's not asking me. And then when she said she's going to Los Vegas with her friends that weekend.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Allie]

She just is. It's like, I'm. This is what I'm doing.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's what.

[Allie]

No, she's letting you know, get on board.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's how Estella talked to me.

[Allie]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

The same. Like, absolutely. Like, I am going to, you know, this school. I am going to get the G wagon when I get a car.

[Shane]

Get a driver's license first.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, get a driver's license first, sister. Yeah, I know that's a little scary. I find it very confident.

[Allie]

I do find it kind of funny, like, how it's. Yeah. It's just a statement.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jen]

But you talk in statements.

[Allie]

Do I? Yeah.

[Jen]

Like, I feel like you don't ask anyone for anything. You're like, you're gonna do this and you're gonna move here. And she's the same way. Like, if you've ever known her. I've known her for almost 20 years. It's very statement. Like, you will put it out there. Whatever you want. You will put it out there, and you will get it.

[Allie]

I do ask for what I want. I do ask. You do. I feel like I ask everyone who.

[Jeff Lewis]

Works for Jeff, can you ask?

[Shane]

It's always a question.

[Allie]

Okay, let's go back to Estella.

[Jeff Lewis]

Sure. Jan. Yeah.

[Allie]

Her first semester, University of Tennessee, correct?

[Jeff Lewis]

No, no, no. Belmont.

[Allie]

Belmont. And how is she doing? Have we seen her grades?

[Jeff Lewis]

She is doing great. And there's only one class that she's been struggling with a little bit with the grades. And she had a choice to come with us to France. We just went to France, and we wanted to take her. And I said, well, you have to ask your teacher, you know, if you could come with this. And he's like, I don't think you should go because you're going to miss some things. And then we get back for Thanksgiving, and she decided to. They pushed the test to where she was going to have it when she was home already for Thanksgiving. So she had a choice to either take the test. She asked the teacher if she could take the test, and he said she could only get, like, 50% so that I. I told her, as long as you're passing, like, that's really all I care about. So she's gonna have a D in that class.

[Allie]

Okay, wait. I'm gonna understand this reasoning. Okay. So did she go To France?

[Jeff Lewis]

No.

[Allie]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

She did not come to France because.

[Allie]

She would have missed school. The teacher said, do not.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes, do not go.

[Allie]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think there were probably other reasons why she didn't want to come, but. Do not go. But then there was a test that was coming up, so it had nothing.

[Allie]

To do with school. It was another reason why she didn't go to France.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think that was another reason why she didn't want to come to France.

[Allie]

But then this boyfriend.

[Jeff Lewis]

There is a boyfriend now. There's a boyfriend, a new boyfriend. We met him. We did a screening at Belmont, Alejandro and I, and we met him and a really, really nice kid.

[Jen]

Were you nice? Were you nice?

[Jeff Lewis]

She said, I wasn't nice. That's because I was. Look, we had investors that came in. We had the president of the university. We had all these people that I had to like. I was in work mode. I was entertaining. I was like, hello, how are you? Making sure everybody was okay. So I don't think I gave enough attention. She said to the boyfriend, I bet you did. And to another friend, and she was very upset with me.

[Jen]

Estella's first boyfriend.

[Jeff Lewis]

Is it not the first?

[Jen]

I mean, it's a big one, though. First college boyfriend.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, this is the second.

[Jen]

Oh, never mind. She's on a roll.

[Jeff Lewis]

She moves on pretty. Let's see. You know, she does move on pretty fast, so.

[Allie]

Okay, so explain the Thanksgiving part about how she didn't. She had to take the test.

[Jeff Lewis]

She had to. It was a final.

They were supposed to take it when she got back from Thanksgiving. She was sick. I'm telling you this. I'm doing a horrible job. She was sick. They voted while she was sick to take the test before Thanksgiving. I had already booked her flight to come home, so she was gonna miss that class anyway. So she called the teacher, and the teacher said she could take the test, but she would only get a 50%.

[Allie]

So that's bullshit.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's either, do we take. Do I change that flight or does she. Whatever. So she like, I'm gonna take you to that flight. I said, well, as long as you. You know, it's important to pass. Like, you have to pass. So as long as you pass, I'm good. So she ended up just choosing just to take it.

[Allie]

Can I ask you home? When you moved the flight, how many days later would she have flown home?

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, that. That was. Test was Monday, so Tuesday, and she would fly home on Saturday.

[Allie]

I think I would have moved the flight so she could take the test.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, we didn't Jeff.

[Allie]

Okay, I. I mean, cuz now she only got a. Now she's going to get a D in the class.

[Jen]

But it doesn't matter.

[Jameson]

It doesn't matter.

[Jeff Lewis]

It needs to pass. She just needs to pass. Why? Writing songs? I'm not applying. She's not here to, like. What class is it an engineer or doctor? She's a songwriter.

[Shane]

What class is it?

[Jeff Lewis]

It's. It's.

[Allie]

So what? She's going to end up doing business. That's kind of important.

[Jeff Lewis]

Just leave your gpa.

[Shane]

Songwriting. You don't know my gpa.

[Allie]

It's just business.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, it's like. It's like, what, is she going to.

[Shane]

Sign a bad deal someday because she didn't know the business?

[Jen]

No, but by the way, she's right.

[Jeff Lewis]

She only gave her 50%. She only had an opportunity to get 50% of the grade.

[Jen]

Annie is correct.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Jen]

No one cares about your gpa.

[Jeff Lewis]

They're going to be like, oh, what was your GPA in college?

[Jen]

Because if you cared, Kean would not be here.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Jen]

Ken would not be here. By the way, can I tell you about Ken yesterday? First of all, I love your pre interviews. They're awesome. I love that you. You really take your job serious. Oh, but he calls me from a coffee shop, and he's probably waiting for a Tinder date, but I'm not gonna call you out on that. And I was doing the pre interview with Keon. As I was walking into the gym.

I had him on speakerphone. He's like, telling me all these things, and I guess I'm just so used to keyin that I don't really hear it. But when I walked into the gym, we hung up the phone, and the guy at the front desk goes, man, that was a lot of bros. In one conversation, every other word was like, hey, bro. Yeah, bro. Yeah. So Jeff is like, bro, yeah, like, waiting for you, bro. Bro. He was putting bros on top of bros on top of bros, okay? And the straight man at the front desk was like, damn, that was a lot of bros, bro. He goes, and I'm a Sigma Kai. And that was a lot of bros. You do throw a lot of bros down there.

[Jeff Lewis]

He loves a bro.

[Jen]

Also, I think in front of the gays, you throw a lot more out so we can just like, repel. Is that what's going on? I knew it.

[Allie]

Unconsciously, I think I would have moved the flight, Jim. I would have moved the flight.

[Jeff Lewis]

Thanksgiving is already over. She's already back in Nashville.

[Allie]

Cause that would. I think it would send A mixed message to Monroe. Because I'm trying to explain to her how important school is.

[Shane]

Well, it's the first semester of college now. You just set the precedent. Just getting school.

[Allie]

It was just one day later.

[Jen]

Allie, I'm sorry.

[Shane]

No, it was several days later.

[Jeff Lewis]

I actually am with Anna here. I just think that it doesn't. I mean, as long as she passes.

[Allie]

Can I tell you what this was?

[Jeff Lewis]

As long as she passes.

[Allie]

You wanted to get to the Cabo house. And you thought to yourself, No, I. No, I'm right. And you thought to yourself, well, shit, if we move her, then we're gonna go to Cabo one day later. I don't wanna do that. I wanna get to the Cabo house.

[Jen]

Galder got her.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, that could be a little bit. And that's important. That's important. The whole family is going, right?

[Jameson]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's gonna cost a lot. It is Thanksgiving. Everybody is flying. Hi.

[Jen]

I'm a couple of hours.

[Allie]

Did you even call to see what the change fee was?

[Jeff Lewis]

I did not call.

[Allie]

Cause you don't care.

[Jeff Lewis]

Because as long as she passed the class, I was good. Okay, because also, Jeff, you hired me before you even saw my resume. Thank you, gpa, anything. And I got a great job.

[Allie]

Okay, but that's me. Most people would.

[Narrator/Announcer]

She's a singer songwriter.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's a singer songwriter. She's an artist and she's talented. Like she. It doesn't matter if she makes a.

[Allie]

You know, I think she's okay a.

[Jeff Lewis]

C or a D in her.

[Allie]

Regardless of what Monroe does, I would like her to do well in all of her courses. And if she's not doing well, we have. You know, I've been having the tutor help her with certain things. All right, well, so otherwise her grades are good.

[Jeff Lewis]

Her grades are great. Actually, she's taking a lot more responsibility in college and she's on top of it way more than she was in high school. So I'm very happy.

[Allie]

Do you want to talk about her Venmo scam? Her Uber scam now, or do you want to talk about it later?

[Jeff Lewis]

Her hustle, her side hustle like that I am not really benefiting from at all. Like, she's taking me for granted.

[Allie]

It's a housewife hack that she's learned early.

[Jameson]

Really?

[Allie]

So she's using Ali's Uber account. Account. And she drives all of her friends. And then the friends will Venmo her their share of the Uber, but Allie's.

[Jeff Lewis]

Paying for it the whole. Every time.

[Allie]

Smart. Smart.

[Jen]

By the way, maybe she didn't get that D in business.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, exactly.

[Jen]

Maybe she didn't get that D in business.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's very proud of this little side hustle.

[Jen]

And she told you about it?

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, she's like, mommy, I have the. I mean, wait till you hear this. And then she proceeded to tell me she's very, very proud of this. And I was like, but wait, I'm the one who's getting, like, the short end of the stick here.

[Allie]

No, let's look at it this way. She would go in that Uber anyway, alone, right? So she's entrepreneurial. Because what she's saying is, hey, I can take three more kids with me. You Venmo. It was gonna cost you that anyway.

[Shane]

Unless she's getting the XL or the.

[Jen]

No, no, true.

[Shane]

Uber suv.

[Jen]

However, you don't tell the person you're scamming that you're scamming them.

[Allie]

No, you don't. That's. That's the mistake. No, she would have learned that had she taken that business course.

[Jen]

Has she not moved that flight?

[Jeff Lewis]

She tells me, like, a little bit, too. Like, she tells me, like, a lot. She is very open and, you know, transparent with me, which I appreciate, actually.

[Allie]

I do, too.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't mind that at all.

[Allie]

Did you figure out because the last time you were here, you just didn't know how much of an allowance she's getting per month?

[Jeff Lewis]

No, I still didn't figure out.

[Allie]

Is it because your husband sends it or.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, no, no. Like, the business manager sends it, and it was discussed. So it was like. It was really in the very beginning. I feel like we really thought this through. It's not. It's not a. I just don't remember how much. I don't remember how much. But it's not, like, a large amount of money. But she has now totally, you know, dismissed the idea of ever eating in the cafeteria, which we paid.

[Allie]

The food is disgusting, and you gain weight.

[Jeff Lewis]

$3,000. You know, for the whole year for this cafeteria. I went.

[Allie]

It looked great.

[Jeff Lewis]

She said they put specific foods in there that was way better than when.

[Allie]

The parents go, okay, that makes sense.

[Jeff Lewis]

So she's like, everybody's getting sick in the cafeteria. So she's still eating at all of the, like, the best places in Nashville.

[Allie]

Right on your credit card.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, she does not have my credit card. She only has her allowance, and she has her money that she got from graduation, but she just got a job.

[Jen]

Oh, wait, she got it.

[Jeff Lewis]

I was a little upset about that at first.

Because I was like, you were at school for so many years.

[Allie]

That's your job.

[Jeff Lewis]

Like, that is your job. And she was very upset that I got upset. I guess I didn't think that through. Because you had pro. I think it's because I'm very, very controlling. A little, you know, and she didn't discuss that with me first, that she wasn't even going to go on the interview for the job. But she went for this interview and she has no prior experience whatsoever. And they hired her on this box.

[Shane]

Wow.

[Allie]

She's gorgeous and like fun. And you know, of course, just so.

[Jen]

You know, Marcelo's 14. Marcelo's 14 has had a job for four years and she has no idea.

[Jeff Lewis]

And in vests and like, has a portfolio.

[Allie]

Like, the kid is fell.

[Jeff Lewis]

She is going to work for. What is the name of the company?

Hold on, hold on. I got it, I got it. Kendra Scott.

[Jen]

Oh, of course.

[Jeff Lewis]

And it's really fun. So they have a hat bar and a boot bar. So they decorate the hats and, you know, brand the boots and like, it'll be really fun for her. But now I have to shop for a specific wardrobe for the, for the, for the job because she doesn't have any of that kind of like clothes, like, you know, she's in jeans.

[Allie]

This is really good for her. How many hours a week?

[Jeff Lewis]

A lot. Well, she was also a little confused by that because she's like, it'll be like, you know, three hours a day. So I was like, okay, well, that's good. But she just got the first schedule and it's like eight hours a day.

[Jen]

Oh, yeah, that's a job.

[Jeff Lewis]

So. Yeah, she's like, oh, it's just for the first week. So we'll see how this all pays.

[Shane]

Pants out. Is she gonna be gone for Cabo for Christmas?

[Jeff Lewis]

No, she's coming.

[Shane]

Are you okay with that?

[Jeff Lewis]

She's coming home for.

[Shane]

But for weeks at a time, won't she?

[Jen]

Yeah, but does she have to. Does she know that she has to request time?

[Jeff Lewis]

We haven't discussed that yet.

A little bit. Yeah. She has to let them know, obviously. Yeah, I didn't get that far yet.

[Allie]

With it, but it's a part time job.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's a part time job, so hopefully.

[Allie]

She could just take. How long will she be home for Christmas break?

[Jeff Lewis]

She's home from the 12th all the way to. I mean, she's home in two weeks. She's just. I just dropped her off yesterday. She's home from the 12th to the 3rd.

[Jen]

She's getting fired.

[Jeff Lewis]

The 3rd, by the way.

[Jen]

You don't have to worry about that job for very long.

[Allie]

Maybe she can transfer to a different Kendra Scott. They're everywhere.

[Jen]

She just started two days ago.

[Jeff Lewis]

You think at the Nashville publication? She hasn't even been trained yet.

[Allie]

There's one at Century City.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, she hasn't been trained.

[Jameson]

She's not a clown.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's not going to even be in la. She's going to Louisiana.

[Allie]

Oh, well, they have. I'm sure they have a Kendra Scott in Louisiana.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, no, no.

[Allie]

They have them everywhere.

[Jeff Lewis]

No. Justin and I. No.

[Allie]

Would somebody look it up? I bet we're gonna find one they do not have.

[Jeff Lewis]

Maybe like in New Orleans or. Not where we are. We're in the country. There's no Kendrick Scott.

[Allie]

You'd be surprised.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't believe you.

[Allie]

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You're leaving for New York tomorrow, Justin.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. You are?

[Jameson]

Why?

[Allie]

Why? Why are you going to New York?

[Jen]

Somehow I ended up on this show called Reality Hot Seat and it's where Bravo meets the NFL. And we're gonna be simulcasting a football game. The Chiefs versus the Texans.

[Jeff Lewis]

I can't wait for this.

[Jen]

And we're gonna be commentating on top of it. And somehow I ended up as the NFL expert.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's what I was gonna ask. Do you even know anything about football?

[Allie]

Do you watch football?

[Jeff Lewis]

He goes, he goes in the box like he's in the VIP boxes at most football games.

[Jen]

I think that's what threw everybody off. I think everyone saw that I was in the box and thought I knew enough about NFL.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't think you. I think you enjoy the box.

[Allie]

You never even watched the game.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know I didn't watch is the game.

[Jen]

I dated a guy who played in the NFL, and in order to figure that out, I had to learn a little bit about it when I was.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Jen]

Yeah. Early 20s, so I had that knowledge. But I love college football, and some of my friends from college are now playing in the NFL, so I keep up.

[Jeff Lewis]

You. Do you watch, like, on what, Sunday Night Football? I was going to say, what days do you play? Friday or Sunday. So on Sundays, do you watch? Yeah, I have, like.

[Jen]

I have, like, housewives on and then, you know, the picture in picture. Yeah, I normally have a game at the.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, we're there, like, one year.

[Allie]

Okay, so you're qualified. Yeah, I'm qualified.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, we'll see.

[Jen]

But I. Can I be honest with you?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Jen]

I took the job because Heather Gay is going to be on it.

[Allie]

Yes.

[Jen]

And I want to know everything that happened on that flight.

[Shane]

Great point.

[Jen]

I want to know how there were six producers in first class and no one got that footage. I have a weird feeling that Bravo's holding the footage until the reunion.

[Allie]

Or maybe it's all exaggerated.

[Jen]

I heard your point of that, and I. Maybe you're right. But if six people say you were irate.

[Allie]

I think it was four.

[Shane]

They all want to take her down.

[Allie]

Four.

[Jen]

Four.

[Allie]

That might have a. They all might have a common agenda, so. Which is to take those two down. So I don't know. We have no idea.

[Shane]

Hmm.

[Jen]

Those two are very, by the way, controversial.

[Jameson]

And isn't this the second time on Salt Lake where something's happening and we're like, well, remember with the black eye? It's like, well, there's cameras everywhere. Just ask the producers. Right.

[Allie]

Yeah.

[Jen]

I just don't know. I really don't know. But you had a really good point. A lot of times these girls, especially Lisa, who I love, saying that people are jealous of her and she lives a bigger life than everybody else. Definitely puts a target on her back.

[Jeff Lewis]

I love it.

[Jen]

Oh, thank you. So I can see, like, I get why they want to take them down.

[Allie]

Yes.

[Shane]

I do big things.

[Jen]

I do big things. My life's way bigger than you guys. You can't tell.

[Allie]

And it makes her, you know, it makes her a great housewife, but it certainly doesn't make her popular.

[Jeff Lewis]

Right?

[Jen]

No, you have to keep the other cast. Yeah. No, I'm asking every single question.

[Jeff Lewis]

So when does it air? Because I want, I need to watch this.

[Jen]

It airs on Sunday on Peacock. It's live at 8:00pm Eastern.

[Jeff Lewis]

Live at 8.

[Jen]

Yes. 5:00pm Pacific Standard Time.

[Allie]

And it's like with you, Heather Garden, gay Kate Chastain.

[Jen]

Cuz I want to know what goes on below Deck two.

[Allie]

I like Kate.

[Jen]

And Boston Rob who's been on Survivor, he's been on the Traitors. He's like our resident straight guy. We have a live studio audience.

[Jameson]

Fun.

[Jen]

And we got some crazy surprises. Like people are going to be popping in for the whole time and it's going to be pretty crazy.

[Shane]

So are you guys.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm excited.

[Shane]

Watching the football game.

[Jen]

We're going to watch. It's almost like. Yeah, we're going to watch the football game live. Almost like we're in like Jeff's living.

[Jeff Lewis]

And they're going to give commentary.

[Jen]

We're going to commentary. We're going to be talking about the game, we're going to be talking about our lives, we're going to be talking about everything in between. Fun. And they told me nothing was off limits.

[Allie]

How long is the, is the show?

[Jen]

Three hours.

[Jeff Lewis]

A football game?

[Jen]

Like it's a football game.

[Jeff Lewis]

The whole show.

[Allie]

They're going to be talking the whole three hours.

[Jen]

Yeah, but I like the Chiefs. Like I watch the Chiefs.

[Allie]

Is this just one episode or is this. Have you been picked up for more? Is this a pilot? What is this?

[Jen]

I think that this is a pilot. And honestly I thought this was gonna be like no big deal. It's like, you know, in my mind I thought, oh, they're gonna try this out. Da da da. I'm watching football last night at a straight guy's house. We're watching Sunday Night Football. A commercial comes on for this thing. Yeah, they all start freaking out. I start freaking out because this is serious. If we're on NBC, this is serious.

[Jeff Lewis]

Listen, anything around football is a big deal.

[Jen]

It's great. It's crazy.

[Jeff Lewis]

A lot of money behind football.

[Allie]

Real quick, Shane, I don't know if you have this info, but line two, Danielle in San Diego. Hi, Danielle.

[Danielle]

Oh, hi guys. I love you all so much, but there's like no information about temp miss on the ticket. It just says doors open at 6:30. And so two things. Is it going to be okay to bring my straight husband? And what time does VVIP and VIP start and what does it entail?

[Allie]

Okay, so it doesn't shock me that you have no information.

What the VVIP is that? Six to seven.

[Shane]

Yeah. So that's from six. That's. So the VVIP means you get the pre show cocktail hour with the chumps. That's from six to seven. You can start going in at 5:30 if you want to go in early and get your drinks. But the cocktail hour with us is from 6 to 7. Then the show is from 8 to 9:30ish. Then if you're VIP, that means you get the post show meet and greet which starts after the show at 9:30.

[Allie]

Wow, Shane, you know it all.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's good, Shane.

[Allie]

Good job, Shane. Danielle, any other questions? Just DM Shane. He seems to know everything.

[Jeff Lewis]

He does.

[Danielle]

Just next time put it on the ticket stub. Because most shows I go to, it has all that info on the ticket stub, which is what Bray Improv should have done.

[Allie]

Yeah, Danielle, that's far too efficient.

[Shane]

It makes more sense for you to call the loud.

[Danielle]

I love your smart chop.

[Allie]

I know. I can tell.

[Danielle]

I'm one of your smart chucks.

[Allie]

Yes.

[Jen]

And bring your husband.

[Allie]

It's funny that you're the. It's funny that you're the only one that's asked. The rest of them will just be like completely confused on Thursday.

But you'll know where.

[Danielle]

I will be there. I'll meet you. I am coming from San Diego. I've got the babysitter lockdown. We are planning on hangover Friday, so we are good to go and we're so stoked.

[Allie]

We'll see you then. Thank you, Danielle.

[Shane]

Bye. Danny.

[Allie]

Joy in Nashville, line four. Sorry, Ally.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hi, Joy.

[Allie]

Hi, Joy.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hey guys.

[Shane]

How are you? Great.

[Jameson]

You're good.

[Jen]

What's your comment, Allie?

[Danielle]

Hey, I do agree with you, Jeff. Ali, your daughter really should have taken the business class a little bit more seriously. It is very hard to make a living as a songwriter these days. And it really is all about the business side of this. And it's not just contracts. It's where you're licensing your music, how you're getting your royalties. It's super important going forward. Joy, the most important part is the business side.

[Jeff Lewis]

Thank you so much for that comment. I actually completely agree with you. There is no show without the business. We preach this to her all the time. And it's not that she didn't stay for the class. She stayed for all of the classes. This was just for the test that.

[Allie]

Was scheduled after Thanksgiving and she was.

[Jeff Lewis]

Not there when they voted to take the test prior to when she, you know, they were supposed to. She was supposed to take it when she got back from Thanksgiving.

[Allie]

Do you think her one Vote would have swayed it.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, no, but I met the teacher. She's very interested in music. Business, actually, that's her minor. But it's a difficult class and she has been there for every single class. And she does absolutely know the importance. It was just for this reason, of course.

[Allie]

As long as it doesn't. Doesn't conflict with your trip to Cabo. We're good family.

[Jeff Lewis]

Listen, I have to say, family time is also very important.

[Allie]

Much more Valley. It is much more important than school.

[Jeff Lewis]

You can't get that back.

[Jen]

And by the way, don't let him.

[Allie]

I guess she could retake the class. You're right. But you can't get that family time back.

[Shane]

Exactly.

[Jen]

By the way, don't let him guilt you. His six year old, his eight year old can't wipe herself, so he bought her a bidet. He bought her a bidet.

[Allie]

She's nine. Oh, that's worse. No, no.

[Jeff Lewis]

But going back to you, Joy, thank you so much. I actually completely agree with you. The business is very, very important and it was just a decision for specifically this test.

[Allie]

Sure. Okay.

[Shane]

Well said.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm not gonna teach my 9 year.

[Allie]

Old how to wipe.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm just gonna get her a toto.

[Jen]

That's the richest thing I've heard all month.

[Allie]

She still wipes. It's just, you know, it's better, I think with the business.

[Jeff Lewis]

She struggles and Jeff, you have taken Monroe.

[Jameson]

You have taken Monroe out of school for fun events.

[Shane]

It was bravocon.

[Jeff Lewis]

Just.

[Jameson]

That's not even what I was thinking.

[Jen]

Thank you.

[Allie]

She wasn't there to vote. I mean, if she voted, they would have taken the test afterwards. But she wasn't feeling well. She was sick, by the way.

[Jeff Lewis]

Look, you are going to be in the exact. I can see it coming. I can see it coming.

[Allie]

Hopefully. I was thinking about Estella this morning. Monroe will have her driver's license by 16 because she wants independence.

[Shane]

She wants to get high.

[Allie]

She's going to be like me. She's going to go up, she'll be there the day she turns 16 to get her license and she's going to.

[Jeff Lewis]

Get her G wagon.

[Shane]

She'll be parking at the city.

[Jen]

It's going to be used.

[Allie]

I got to draw.

[Jen]

It's going to be used.

[Allie]

No, I've got to draw the line. I'm not wrapping it in pink.

[Jeff Lewis]

No bow. You hate her and there will not be a bow.

[Allie]

And you're right, it should be a year old.

[Jen]

By the way, you know what? You're going to drive it for a year and then hand it and then.

[Jeff Lewis]

Give it to her like, oh, it's my hand me. Now it's my used car. Yeah.

[Allie]

So Justin and I were just talking. Turns out that Justin was also not invited to Michael Beck's 40 guests, by the way, Friends giving housewarming party. Not one. One chump was allowed.

[Jen]

How did you guys find this out?

[Shane]

Posts. Posts. He was gleefully posting.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did you comment on the post?

[Shane]

It was story after story. I said, sounds fun.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, you did?

[Jen]

I didn't even know it happened. And by the way, I see Michael Beck three times a week at the gym. I also hooked him up with his gym. Good, because it was my gym first.

[Shane]

Of course.

[Allie]

Cause you're good friends.

[Jen]

I'm a good friend, a giving friend. And he did not invite us to his friendsgiving.

[Allie]

But apparently I think the party was boring af none of them drank. They're all, like, buttoned up. You know, Ivy League attorneys.

[Jen]

Okay, well, maybe I didn't want to be invited to the party. No, maybe we didn't want to go.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, it would have been nice just to get in.

[Jen]

Well, we'll find out. When's he here?

[Shane]

I feel like we scheduled them.

[Allie]

Did we?

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, schedule him.

[Jen]

No, I saw him on the. I saw him on the schedule when I reposted it. I think he might be Thursday.

[Allie]

This week.

[Jen]

He's. This week.

[Jeff Lewis]

He is.

[Allie]

He is this week.

[Shane]

He's on Wednesday with Katie Lowe.

[Jen]

Oh, yeah.

[Allie]

Oh, shit.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, call in, Justin.

[Jen]

Oh, let it cook.

[Allie]

Justin. Can you call in or no, you're gonna be taping.

[Jen]

By the way, can you have 2 Celsius that morning and fucking light him up?

[Shane]

Absolutely not.

[Jen]

Light him up.

[Shane]

Ask Michael.

[Allie]

I just want to be. So Ali has had approximately 20% of my Celsius can. She's shaking.

[Jeff Lewis]

Like, you could see her hands.

[Allie]

Her hands are shaking. That's how you know it's working.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, I don't like this film. You drank the rest of the can. I don't know how your hands. This is, like, a lot, by the way.

[Jen]

If you have a baby in nine months, we know why it was in Celsius, okay? Just name that baby Jeff.

[Allie]

Did you go to Wicked for good, Justin? I did. What did you think?

[Jen]

Have you seen it? Yeah, I loved it. I liked it better than the first one.

[Allie]

Oh, you did?

[Shane]

Hot take.

[Jen]

It was, like, darker. It was a little bit more adult, and I liked it. I was into it. But can I tell you that it was 30 degrees at that premiere, and I was on that platform for two and a half hours. And those girls, £94 put together on these strapless dresses. Well, they're all running around. They're all tiny. I don't know what's so bad for them.

[Allie]

I don't know what they gave them on that set, but they're all really tiny. I wish I was on the cast.

[Jen]

Cheapest craft services in la.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's true.

[Jen]

The cheapest craft services, man, they are tiny.

[Allie]

But see, here's the thing. It's like a domino effect, because when you're standing next to somebody, someone that skinny, then you have to stop eating because you look like a big cow.

[Shane]

That's why I never felt the pressure to lose.

[Jen]

I need to come work here, by the way. That's why I had to lose a bunch of weight. Kelty is so tiny.

[Allie]

Yes.

[Jen]

And I was like, you know, this muscle guy was lifting weights and I had to kind of calm down. Muscle guy, because, yeah, I was like, oh. I was like five more pounds heavier. Like, I was like, oh, so you.

[Allie]

Were just too muscular next to Kelly. Okay.

[Jen]

Who's tiny? So I had to, like, take it down a bit.

[Allie]

Yeah.

[Jen]

Back off. Big Booty Betty over here.

Stop your shit.

[Shane]

I didn't think of the movie.

[Jeff Lewis]

Jeff, he's coming for you because you went after his olive balls. Yeah.

[Allie]

Yes. Monroe liked it. You know, I didn't doze off, but I did close my eyes a few times.

[Jen]

What about in the first one?

[Shane]

The first one's phenomenal.

[Allie]

The first one kept my attention more.

[Jameson]

Did you think this was the right length? Because this one was shorter.

[Allie]

Yes.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Jameson]

Wasn't too long better?

[Allie]

It could have been 17 minutes shorter.

[Jen]

Have you seen it?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Jameson]

Yes.

[Jen]

They're gonna make a third one.

[Allie]

I hope they don't.

[Jen]

I'm telling you right now.

[Shane]

What story?

[Jen]

First of all, hold on. A billion dollars they made on the first one. They made a billion dollars on the first one. This one opened bigger than the first one, which means that this one's gonna make probably a billion and a half.

[Allie]

So what? Where do we go with this? The munchkins?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Jen]

She's gonna have to come back to help. I'm telling you, she's gotta come back. Yeah, she's gonna come back.

[Allie]

What about a prequel with the munchkins?

[Jen]

That could be a good one, too.

[Allie]

I would love that.

[Jameson]

I would love that.

[Jeff Lewis]

I love.

[Jameson]

I think they are working on Glinda's origin story because there are books.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, that's good.

[Allie]

I hope they're sex scenes with the little people.

[Jeff Lewis]

Jeff.

That'S Celsius.

[Jen]

Brought to you by Celsius. Don't drink on an empty stomach.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wait for the next hour.

[Jen]

Find out your kinks with Celsius.

[Allie]

Thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Jeff Lewis Ladd every weekday on SiriusXM as well as the Jeff Lewis Channel exclusively on the SiriusXM app.

This episode of Jeff Lewis Has Issues is brought to you by the Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas. You know, there's something about Vegas at night. The buzz of the crowd, the high energy, and that undeniable magic that makes you feel alive. When the sun sets, Las Vegas transforms. And at the heart of it all is the Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas, a luxury resort destination where bold experiences unfold. Sip a martini inside the chandelier, discover hidden speakeasies, striking art, and unforgettable views of the Bellagio fountains and the Las Vegas SK skyline from your Terrace suite. It's not just a hotel stay, it's an only in Vegas experience. Book your stay now at cosmopolitan Las Vegas.com.

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[Allie]

It's on.

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