Chanel Ayan & Reza Farahan: Protein & Witch Cars

Summary

Jeff Lewis Has Issues – Episode Summary

Episode: Chanel Ayan & Reza Farahan: Protein & Witch Cars
Host: Jeff Lewis
Guests: Chanel Ayan, Reza Farahan, Shane, Oscar, Jameson
Date: June 12, 2026

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Overview

This episode of Jeff Lewis Has Issues dives into Jeff's signature uncensored approach as he welcomes Chanel Ayan (Real Housewives of Dubai) and Reza Farahan (Shahs of Sunset) for a no-holds-barred discussion. Topics range from hilarious confessions about Beverly Hills mishaps and American diets to production drama on reality TV, wild LA nights, new-age "witch cars," and a surprisingly spiritual shaman-led drug reset.

The tone is playful, irreverent, and spontaneous—with plenty of storytelling, bickering, and frank observations about fame, food, and modern LA life.

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Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Chanel’s Beverly Hills Carpet Catastrophe

• Chanel recounts getting jet-lagged, drunk, and throwing up on a $50,000 Beverly Hills carpet:
  • “I got drunk recently and I threw up on a $50,000 carpet.” (02:06)
  • She only had four glasses of wine but, being lightweight, was overwhelmed.
  • The aftermath involved the whole carpet being removed and fears she'd be kicked out.
  • Jeff: “Hello. You weigh 80 pounds. Four glasses of wine is a lot for you.” (02:33)
  • Both bond over having similarly embarrassing wine mishaps.

2. Drama with Reality TV Production

• Reza discusses creating parodies and being asked by production to stop after cast complaints:
  • “Someone whose name I will not mention hit me up and asked me not to make their life hard and if I could please stop doing these videos.” (04:57)
  • They speculate that ‘Sky’ is the complaining cast member, typical reality TV tension.
  • Shane: “There's a difference… this kind of funny, fun, light parody. I feel like that's different than what other housewives have done in the past.” (06:39)
  • Conversation about how editors try to create drama by asking people to answer in Spanish, which Jeff calls out as stereotypical and inappropriate (08:08).
  • Jeff: “She speaks perfect English. I've never even heard her speak Spanish. The answer is no…” (08:56)

3. American Protein Obsession & Wardrobe Malfunctions

• Chanel humorously details gaining weight from “all the protein” in America, resulting in a ripped skirt at an LA event:
  • “In America, everything is protein, but it makes you fat. It does not make you skinny.” (14:17)
  • Brittle moment as four men frantically sew her skirt backstage while she scrambles for backup underwear.
  • Shane: “How much weight did you gain?”
    Chanel: “My scat ripped in 10 days.” (14:40)

4. Unexpected Celebrity Connections

• Chanel tells a starstruck story about meeting Lisa Kudrow, who recognized her:
  • “She goes, I know who you are, and I love you, and you're my favorite housewife, and you're very funny.” (16:23)
  • Describes LA red carpets, surprising crossovers between “real” celebrities and Bravo talent.

5. On-Set Antics and Reality Reunion Insights

• The gang shares experiences from reality TV reunion tapings:
  • Jeff: “If they want to see how to do it right, they need to watch some Ayan confessionals.” (11:12)
  • Reunions seen as therapeutic, sometimes explosive—“our shows are a little different... you get to let out all the things like, bitch, you said what?” (22:27)
  • Chanel would love to host backstage “green room” interviews (“That would be my dream.”) (20:56)

6. Witch Cars: Chanel Encounters Driverless Waymo

• Chanel narrates her suspicion and awe of Waymo self-driving cars, likening them to African witchcraft:
  • “If I take that car in my village and tell people that that car can drive itself, people will go crazy... The Waymo reminds me of witches.” (34:24, 35:37)
  • Hilariously, the connection between voodoo stories and robot cars is loose at best, but a highlight for its sheer absurdity and laughter.
  • Jeff: “Patrick and Paul told me to ride them because there are lawsuit waiting to happen and I could cash in on.” (36:06)
  • Jameson shares a story where Waymo dropped him off “in the median” (37:31).

7. American Supermarkets and the Great Walgreens Dildo Story

• Chanel shares an unforgettable tale about buying her first vibrator at Walgreens:
  • “I have a dildo. I finally have a dildo people on the planet Earth.” (39:17)
  • Amused by America’s locked-up products, she gets advice from a clueless employee to choose her new vibrator.
  • Chanel: “My vibrator for the first time, baby. It was the best experience… get THC and then go to Walgreens.” (41:05)

8. Drug “Resets” and Spiritual Mushrooms

• Conversation shifts to Jeff’s and Adam’s shaman-facilitated drug journey for Adam’s birthday:
  • “Six hours of mushrooms, ketamine, and MDMA—all administered by a shaman.” (44:48)
  • Jeff: “It was not about getting fucked up. It was about connecting… resetting the Muzak in my head.” (45:53)
  • Price: $2,000 for a “resetting” session (47:35)
  • Jokes about group sex, legal risks, and the popularity of “spiritual” drug use in LA.

9. All-American Indulgence: Food and Chain Restaurants

• The crew raves about the joys and quirks of American food culture:
  • Chanel loves Olive Garden (“My favorite restaurant in Mecca is Olive Garden.” 43:09), Taco Bell, and American candy—Red Vines, Sour Patch Kids, Pop-Tarts.
  • Remarks on the oversized portions and foods “no one else in the world eats.”
  • Playful food shaming regarding “sodium-rich” Olive Garden and Beverly Hills cookies.

10. The Possibility of Chanel Joining Beverly Hills Housewives

• Speculation around Chanel landing on RHOBH as the “fun” the show needs:
  • “Beverly Hills does need me to be honest. They are too uptight. They need somebody that’s just fun, doesn’t take life serious.” (27:20)

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Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• Chanel on Beverly Hills mishap:
  “I got drunk recently and I threw up on a $50,000 carpet.” – 02:06
• Jeff on parody drama:
  “This is frigging hilarious. I'm thinking he would be like, thank you for giving me some content that's gonna lead to the show popping off in an amazing way.” – 06:55
• Chanel on American protein:
  “In America, everything is protein, but it makes you fat. It does not make you skinny.” – 14:17
• Chanel on Lisa Kudrow:
  “She goes, I know who you are, and I love you, and you're my favorite housewife, and you're very funny.” – 16:23
• Jeff on reunions:
  “If they want to see how to do it right, they need to watch some Ayan confessionals.” – 11:12
• Chanel on driverless cars:
  “The Waymo reminds me of witches.” – 35:37
• Chanel on her first dildo:
  “My vibrator for the first time, baby. It was the best experience… get THC and then go to Walgreens.” – 41:05
• Jeff on drug journey:
  “It was not about getting fucked up. It was about connecting… resetting the Muzak in my head.” – 45:53
• Chanel about joining Real Housewives of Beverly Hills:
  “They need somebody that's just fun, doesn't take life serious...” – 27:20

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Beverly Hills carpet incident: 02:06–03:29
• Reality TV parody/production strife: 04:08–09:56
• Wardrobe malfunction, American food: 14:13–15:20
• Lisa Kudrow story: 16:23–16:44
• Driverless ‘witch’ car saga: 34:24–37:50
• Walgreens vibrator story: 39:17–41:41
• Shaman-facilitated drug reset: 44:48–47:44
• Food/chain restaurant segment: 42:01–43:39
• Joining RHOBH speculation: 27:01–28:23

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Tone & Takeaway

This episode is a riotous, confessional ride through the everyday absurdities of LA celebrity life, reality TV, and American excess—with no filter and plenty of laughter. Chanel’s storytelling steals the show, Reza and Jeff keep the Bravo backstories juicy, and the banter is both outrageous and oddly insightful. Whether discussing vibrating lipstick, shamans with pharmaceuticals, or fighting for a spot on the next Housewives cast, it’s reality at its most unfiltered.

Transcript

[Chanel]

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[Announcer]

It starts with our approach.

[Chanel]

Every Mazda comes standard with proactive safety features so you're more aware of what's around you, more focused on the road ahead and ready before problems ever start. Mazda more of what matters most to you. Go to Mazda USA.com to learn more. Consumer Reports does not endorse or promote any product.

[Announcer]

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[Shane]

For the last is a decade, you've been covering disasters. That's right.

[Announcer]

That's why he's here.

[Chanel]

The math ain't mathing and the gay ain't gayin'.

[Shane]

Later, you're gonna need to do maintenance.

[Chanel]

Why? To be attractive. For who?

[Shane]

Oh, for us.

[Announcer]

Chef Lewis has issues.

[Shane]

Hey, it's Chef Lewis and I have issues. In today's episode, Chanel, Ayan and Reza Farahan join the show. We talk about American diets and drug resets. Plus, Chanel has an interaction with a possessed car. Good morning.

[Chanel]

Good morning, my darling.

[Shane]

We were complimenting you.

[Jeff Lewis]

Good morning.

[Shane]

Good morning. First of all, Reza has his bling on today. And you are blonde today. I love it.

[Chanel]

Thank you. I wanted to look like a whore.

[Shane]

Like a whore.

[Chanel]

She's a rich bitch. Like a rich bitch whore.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Oscar]

She's wearing a ho and blonde hair. That is an LA ho. You are.

[Chanel]

I think I feel like I've arrived in la. Like basically I'm a LA bitch right now.

[Shane]

Do you live here now?

[Chanel]

I feel like I do live here.

[Jeff Lewis]

She lives in Beverly Hills. In a mansion.

[Chanel]

In a mansion. But I think they're gonna kick me out soon.

[Jeff Lewis]

In the village of Beverly Hills?

[Chanel]

Yes, in the village of Beverly. Because I got drunk recently and I threw up on a $50,000 carpet. The room.

[Shane]

No.

[Chanel]

And I didn't even know I threw up because I don't drink in Dubai.

[Jeff Lewis]

Don't mess it up for us.

[Chanel]

I know, I know. So I was like, so scared and I went to Brando. I'M like Brando. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I threw up in the cup and I don't remember throwing up. That's how bad it was. And it's not like I drank so much wine. I had four glasses of wine. I'm four. Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hello. You weigh 80 pounds. Four glasses of wine is a lot for you.

[Shane]

Yeah, that's. I mean, it's a lot for most

[Chanel]

people, you know, So I threw up and I don't drink much. And it was all over the cafe.

[Shane]

They had to call red wine. Red wine?

[Chanel]

Yeah. That's for all people.

[Shane]

Brandon, is it coming out or. No, they said it's coming out, but they had to come take the whole carpet out. All the furniture off the carpet, everything.

[Jeff Lewis]

Chanel is.

[Chanel]

I might be kicked out of Beverly bathroom. She's expensive.

[Shane]

You couldn't make it to the bathroom?

[Chanel]

No, no, I don't remember.

[Shane]

Oh, you don't remember?

[Chanel]

This never happened to me. No, because I was tired. I'm jet lagged. I smoked.

[Shane]

Okay, so you got up. Threw up. Just. You threw up on the side of the bed.

[Chanel]

Yes.

[Shane]

And then went back to sleep. Yes, I've done that.

[Chanel]

Yes, hello.

[Jeff Lewis]

I did that on season one. Thank God they didn't show it. It looked like a crime scene. I woke up in a pool of red.

[Chanel]

Exactly. And you're like, what the fuck happened?

[Jeff Lewis]

Totally. What happened? What demon crawled into the room and threw up here? Because it wasn't me.

[Chanel]

No.

[Shane]

When I was in high school, I. I went out and I had a bunch of screwdrivers.

[Chanel]

What's a screwdriver?

[Shane]

Orange juice. And I literally just sat up in the middle of the night, threw up all over my comforter, and went back to sleep.

[Chanel]

That just happened to me, so I might be kicked out of the mansion soon. So, Jeff, do you have space in your house? And you know, hello, you.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're going to be slumming it at my house?

[Shane]

My 50 grand. I'm not worried. We'll throw them out.

[Chanel]

Okay, fine.

[Shane]

Yeah, don't worry about it now. Okay, Reza. Okay. Last time I was a little concerned because you were doing parodies of a castmate sky from season one of the Valley. Persian style.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't know if it's. I'm just doing parodies. It's not necessarily anyone in particular.

[Shane]

I was. Oh, okay, okay. I was concerned that you might be ruffling some feathers.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes.

[Shane]

But then you came out with your second one, which is even better than the first, and now I live for it. Please continue.

[Jeff Lewis]

I really want to do them. But my. Someone that is involved with the Valley. Persian.

[Chanel]

Beauty. Why didn't you.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm going to review for you. Let you know is worth or not. Okay, so we are trying more stuff today. I'm very excited.

[Shane]

So now has. Are we allowed to say is production. The network getting involved now.

[Jeff Lewis]

So someone whose name I will not mention hit me up and asked me not to make their life hard and if I could please stop doing these videos.

[Shane]

Was it production? Was it a showrunner? Was it a producer?

[Jeff Lewis]

Was it a yes to all those questions?

[Shane]

Okay, so then obviously the person that you. Who believes you're making fun of.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Which, you know, you have not confirmed that.

[Jeff Lewis]

Correct.

[Shane]

That person must have complained to production.

[Jeff Lewis]

As per usual, anytime anything happens.

[Shane]

Sky.

[Jeff Lewis]

Sky is the loudest, the squeakiest wheel, and she complains left and right and so.

[Chanel]

And she's on reality tv.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Chanel]

You know, I never complained.

[Shane]

Didn't you see the first season of

[Chanel]

the Valley the whole time, honestly, I was on Bravo. I never, ever reached out to complaints. All I do, really, I never did.

[Shane]

It's a fourth job for me because

[Chanel]

it's a job, you know.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Oscar]

This is not necessarily Sky. This is just a stereotypical Persian woman, you know, who tries tannin's skin oil and puts it on her dogs.

[Jeff Lewis]

Correct.

[Shane]

Which happened to happen. But that happened in season. Weird. Coincidentally, it's just a coincidence. One of the Valley.

[Jeff Lewis]

Just a coincidence.

[Shane]

Okay, so, right. So you get a call. Is it an email? Is it a text? Is it a call?

[Jeff Lewis]

It was a text message.

[Shane]

Okay. Personal.

[Jeff Lewis]

And they said, hey, please stop doing this. And I screen grabbed five things that sky had done, because every interview she did, every podcast she did, all she did was bash me.

[Chanel]

So I have the right to do everything.

[Jeff Lewis]

I replied with five things where he could look and see she was bashing me. And he's like, oh, I didn't realize this. I'll talk to her.

[Shane]

But there's a difference than going out, going on Twitter or Instagram and saying calling somebody names or being really nasty and doing this kind of funny, fun, light parody. I feel like that's different than what other housewives have done in the past. Do you agree?

[Jeff Lewis]

1,000%. This is frigging hilarious. I'm thinking he would be like, thank you for giving me some content that's gonna lead to the show popping off in an amazing way.

[Shane]

Well, you're also promoting even season one. Because I'm like, you know, for some of you, you're like, you're wondering, who the hell is he. Is he imitating?

[Jeff Lewis]

100%.

[Chanel]

I mean, I just thought you were imitating someone. I don't want to say that, but I thought you were imitating somebody, like, on the streets, not from your cast.

[Shane]

Now, did they actually come to your home to speak to you about it or.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes. Well.

[Shane]

So. So it's escalated.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, no, no, no, no, no. It was serendipitous because the meeting at the house is not related to that.

[Shane]

I see.

[Oscar]

Okay.

[Shane]

Because you guys are gonna start shooting in a couple of weeks, like, real soon.

[Chanel]

Yes. Dad, I want to give you all these.

[Shane]

Why can't you tell us?

[Jeff Lewis]

I.

[Chanel]

He's not going to.

[Shane]

They don't want you to know that you're shooting. I mean, they want us to know that you're shooting. They've already announced the show. Yeah, we know it's happening.

[Jeff Lewis]

They get mad. I don't want to say anything that's gonna get me.

[Shane]

Some of the stuff they get upset with is nuts. I'm probably gonna get a phone call today.

[Jeff Lewis]

Probably.

[Shane]

I'll tell you why.

[Chanel]

Why? What have you done right now?

[Shane]

Because here. And I. I am a thousand percent. This is the thousand percent. What happened? So, my housekeeper is really funny. It's Zoila's younger sister. She went and they wanted to do an interview with her, a confessional. And so this was months ago. She went in, from what I hear, like, the crew was telling me she was hysterical. It was funny. They got all these one liners from her, blah, blah, blah, blah. So we're done shooting now. Now we're doing pickups. So I have to do, I think, two more confessionals. And they said, oh, we would really like Aurora to come in and do another interview. And so I go, why? I don't understand. It sounds to me like you already got a really great interview from her. Well, we're hearing from Post that they would like to ask her a few more questions. Well, what haven't they asked? See, I ask everything. Look, what haven't they asked? Oh, we think it would be funny. I kid you not. This is what they said. We think it would be funny if she answered some of the questions in Spanish. I said, what the fuck are you talking about? I said, she's worked me for years. She speaks perfect English. I've never even heard her speak Spanish. The answer is no. She will not be going to that confessional. I mean, how stereotypical is that? I mean, can you fucking believe that

[Chanel]

I just had a Spanish makeup artist this morning at 6am she was so sweet. She was like, mommy, mommy, papi, all day to me.

[Shane]

But here's the thing. You can call me today if you want, but you got to get your editor in check. This has nothing to do with me and has everything to do with you. So I don't know. Like, I. I honestly am insulted. I'm not even her, and I'm insulted.

[Chanel]

They're definitely gonna call you.

[Shane]

Yeah. I just couldn't believe that. Is everyone as shocked as I am?

[Oscar]

It was, like, so strange. I mean, just, like, shocking and weird and, like, inappropriate and not.

[Chanel]

Do you guys have Spanish cast?

[Oscar]

We're already wrapped.

[Shane]

No. Oh, we're done. We're done.

[Chanel]

Maybe they want to get the Spanish humans when they watch to, like, pick

[Jeff Lewis]

up some new Spanish speaking people.

[Chanel]

Yeah, I think so. Maybe that's the reason.

[Shane]

I think it's crazy. And, you know, this particular editor we've had problems with, who kind of like, when you're in the. In the. I'm smart enough to know.

[Chanel]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Like, I don't give them the answers they want. Sorry to make you work, but you're going to have to actually follow the fucking story. You're not going to create anything.

[Jeff Lewis]

So.

[Shane]

And I've. I've schooled everybody, coached everybody. They tried with Keon. Have they tried with you? So now I say, we will not interview with this person. We will not interview with this person. So you have to send somebody else.

[Chanel]

You know, this is actually season two of Dubai Housewives when I was being interviewed, and I'm funny as fuck, right? Like, I was really, really, like, literally.

[Jeff Lewis]

Your confessionals need to be studied.

[Chanel]

Thank you.

[Jeff Lewis]

By New Housewives.

[Chanel]

Thank you.

[Jeff Lewis]

If they want to see how to do it right.

[Chanel]

Thank you.

[Jeff Lewis]

They need to watch some Ion confessionals.

[Chanel]

But season two, I was really funny, and I know what I say. It's funny, but then when it was airing, I'm like, where the fuck is the shit that I. You know, I felt like they. I was a bit like, not there with my moment, but when I just did the event. Hello. I was. It was amazing. The event that I just did.

[Shane]

Yes. Well, I know they're very pleased with you. I mean, you've really. I mean, really. You have this gift that no one

[Chanel]

knew you had, even me.

[Shane]

And it's like, you're this incredible, like,

[Jeff Lewis]

red came out of Bravo Con.

[Shane]

Did you see Interview?

[Jeff Lewis]

She did a Bravo Con.

[Shane]

It's. It really is. I mean, it's kind of unexpected. You're so good at it.

[Jeff Lewis]

So good.

[Chanel]

I really, really appreciate that.

[Shane]

But back to this I think, you know, if you're asking us to be vulnerable, Right. If you're asking us to be raw, we have to feel safe. We have to feel protected. Right. So I don't feel sorry. I don't feel safe with this particular person.

[Chanel]

I feel safe with that person.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chanel]

Not feeling safe.

[Shane]

And so now I feel like I've had four television shows over the last, I don't know, 45 years, and I've never felt like I've had to watch my back, ever. I've always felt like I've had a really good strong.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's unbelievable to me.

[Shane]

I feel like that's unbelievable. I've been so lucky. Like the great, great showrunners and Michael Beck's great, but they took him off the show to throw him on another show. So now it's like, well, who's. Who's. Who's watching? So that concerns me because now not only do I have to watch my back, I gotta watch everybody else's.

[Chanel]

Yes.

[Shane]

I'm gonna get a call today for sure.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wait, does your.

[Chanel]

I just think.

[Jeff Lewis]

Go ahead.

[Chanel]

No, I just think we should not talk about that anymore for you. So you don't get problems. We need to save you so you can ask us about ourselves.

[Shane]

Okay, let's talk about the. It's Los Coltristas.

[Jameson]

Yes.

[Shane]

Is that right?

[Chanel]

Los Colcostrisis. Yes, it was. Should I start from my day? So my day. My hair girl comes two hours and 20 minutes late. I'm supposed to. Yeah.

[Shane]

Wait, what?

[Chanel]

Yeah, she comes 2 hours and 20 minutes late to do my ha. I'm supposed to leave the house at 12.

[Shane]

Was it a miscommunication?

[Chanel]

No, no. Brandon was talking to her from 8:30 in the morning. Like, where are you? I'm on my way. I'm on my way at 12. I'm supposed to leave. She's not even there. So I.

[Shane]

Where was she coming from? Palm Springs?

[Chanel]

No, she lives downtown, I think, because I dropped my wig there. So basically, you're on the 10 and go. Yeah, so basically. Exactly. So basically, Cynthia Bailey has a new hairline with Portia, so I asked her to give me a wig for the event. So she sent me this beautiful wig, and so she introduced me to this lady to do my hair. So I couldn'. Get a hold of the lady. We are calling. Our phone is off, and she has the hair that Cynthia sent me. So I called Cynthia. I'm like, cynthia, she's not here for two hours. Cynthia's like, what? Let me get a hold of her. So Cynthia gets a hold of her. She's like, I'm gonna be there in 15 minutes. She shows up in an hour. So she's doing my hair quickly. Like, I'm just like, this is not exactly what I wanted, but she did look good. Thank you. Thank you. So I was like, this is not exactly what I want, but it can do, you know? Then I go to the event, and my skirt rips. My whole look falls down.

[Shane]

What?

[Chanel]

Yeah. Because I've been eating protein. In America, everything is protein, but it makes you fat.

[Shane]

I know.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know.

[Chanel]

It does not make you skinny.

[Shane]

I know. You must be listening to Kian, because he had me on protein shakes, And I gained 11 pounds, baby.

[Chanel]

I gained. In the 10 days I've been here, protein cakes, protein juice factory, chicken factory, chickens.

[Shane]

How much weight did you gain?

[Chanel]

My scat ripped in 10 days.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, we ate cookies, though.

[Chanel]

Don't forget the cookies.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, they were fattening Beverly Hills cookies.

[Chanel]

Reza brought me 10 cookies.

[Shane]

Oh, those Beverly Hills cookies.

[Jeff Lewis]

They're so good.

[Shane]

So much better.

[Chanel]

So I gained weight, and my scut ripped, and I couldn't find it. And all of a sudden, I'm freaking out, and there's guys in the kitchen, in the toilet. I'm asking anyone to give me my underwear because I had no underwear. And Brandon, I was like, brandon, give me your underwear by 6ft 8. He's like, I can't give you my underwear because it was so ripped, and I wanted just to skirt my ass, you know?

[Shane]

Too bad you weren't there, Jameson.

[Chanel]

I know. I would have been there.

[Shane]

It would have been a perfect fit.

[Jeff Lewis]

Totally.

[Oscar]

That jock chop is so cute.

[Jeff Lewis]

They have the same circumference.

[Chanel]

Yeah. But then we find. We are looking around. We found these people that work in the theater, and they really sewed me. Four men sewed it on. Sewed me on the skirt, and then I went to the stage, you know? And also, it's a bit different from BravoCon to this red carpet. This red carpet's, like, all celebrities, right? So I was, like, so excited.

[Shane]

Also, like, wait, was it Bravo? But the Bravo.

[Jeff Lewis]

There were a lot of celebrities. Real celebrities, fake ones, not Bravo liberties.

[Chanel]

Real celebrities, but real celebrities. But I also didn't know, like, housewives are famous because I was. You remember I told you I was looking forward to meeting Lisa Kudrow? So bad. Because she's, like, one of my favorite people in the world. I told you. I found her last minute in the end of the night, and I see her, and I go to her and I'm like, oh, my God, I love you. Smelly cut, smelly cut. She looks at me like I'm crazy. She goes, I know who you are, and I love you, and you're my favorite housewife, and you're very funny. I was like, what the hell are you talking about? You know who I am? I almost freaked. I thought I was going to heaven. And I started to tell her how much I love her, and her team was telling her every five seconds, like, oh, we need to leave. She didn't.

[Shane]

Brandi, you weren't there to pull her away. She just stood because that can get.

[Chanel]

I know. She just stood and listened to me and just listened to me talking to her, and they're asking her to leave, and she didn't leave. It was the cutest moment of my life. The best moment of my life.

[Shane]

There was a blue carpet, and so

[Jeff Lewis]

we're talking about how trusting Chris is, though, to let her go to another country looking as fine as she does there. I'm gay and I want to hit that. Look how good she looks.

[Shane]

Jameson, you should borrow that dress, because you guys could wear the same clothes.

[Jameson]

I've got the underwear.

[Chanel]

But it was so good because, honestly, I just want to thank everyone there, the Bravo team. I just need to thank everyone. Donald, the blue carpet.

[Shane]

Is that a political thing?

[Jameson]

No, no, no.

[Shane]

I Just asking. I'm just.

[Chanel]

Ryan.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. Kelly.

[Shane]

No, I'm just asking.

[Oscar]

No, Jill.

[Shane]

Was it a statement? I don't know. That's why I was asking.

[Chanel]

No, no. But we had the blue carpet also in Bravocon. I don't think it's anything to do with taste.

[Shane]

It's pretty.

[Oscar]

I think it's a Bravo con.

[Chanel]

It's very pretty. But it was so amazing because Matt Boen, they were all so swee. Amazing. I got to meet the girls that are lesbians from that TV show.

[Shane]

It was so funny. What lesbians from what TV show?

[Chanel]

The Hunting Wives. And they knew who. They're not.

[Shane]

Okay, but they're not real life lesbians. You know that.

[Chanel]

Are you kidding me?

[Jeff Lewis]

They just play lesbians. They just play lesbians on tv.

[Chanel]

Oh, my God. They're the best play.

[Shane]

It's a role. No, it's a role. Like. Yeah, no, it's not.

[Chanel]

Even when they wear.

[Shane]

It's not a reality show.

[Chanel]

Even when they wear the strap on, it's not real.

[Shane]

No, it's. No, they're actors. They're not lesbians.

[Chanel]

Great actors, ladies.

[Shane]

Yes. Now, who made that dress?

[Jeff Lewis]

Really?

[Chanel]

That dress is made by my friend Atelier Bahar. I actually used to model with her. This is the first look she's ever made. She's married now to a very wealthy man and she decided to be a designer. She's like, let me make you a look. So she made me that beautiful look.

[Shane]

Do they have to cut it off?

[Chanel]

Yes, they cut it off and I changed to my second look on the cart.

[Shane]

So is it destroyed?

[Jeff Lewis]

It doesn't matter. Her body makeup destroys every other outfit she wears anyway.

[Shane]

Oh, really?

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, 100%. I told her because I have a friend who borrowed a very expensive dress and when she returned it.

[Chanel]

Yeah, makeup.

[Jeff Lewis]

She had to pay for the dress.

[Chanel]

Cleaning. Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

The person that loaned her the dress charged her credit card $10,000 for the outfit because she had so much body makeup on that when she returned it, it was completely stained.

[Chanel]

But I agree with that. You have to pay for the price.

[Shane]

With my spray tan, the dress. I don't have one now, but I need one for next week though. Will you schedule it?

[Oscar]

Yeah.

[Chanel]

It was the greatest moment of my life.

[Shane]

Can we talk about that hairstylist for a second?

[Chanel]

Yes.

[Shane]

What do you say when she rolls in? 2 hours and 20 minutes late.

[Chanel]

I was so angry. Like when I'm angry, like I'm really angry. Like I just was like, calm down, Ayan. You still need her to do your hair. You still need her to do it. And then she's charging me $900.

[Oscar]

She charged you still?

[Chanel]

Yeah, she's talking to Brandon about it. She asked me.

[Shane]

Brandon, you're gonna negotiate that, I hope.

[Chanel]

First of all, 900.

[Jeff Lewis]

I've been to your Beverly Hills one. Brandon had one of your wigs with beautiful pearl pins in it. How come Brandon wasn't hooking that up?

[Chanel]

Because Brandon was walking with me that day. He was literally with me all day in the carpet. So I didn't want him to like focus on the hair and do all these things. So anyway, Bravo pays for it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, okay, good.

[Chanel]

Yeah, I don't pay from it. From my pocket. Bravo pays for the glam.

[Shane]

So I mean, how long did you have to get ready then you must have been late for the blue collar.

[Chanel]

I was late, I was late, I was late for everything. So the whole she's so beautiful.

[Jeff Lewis]

She needs less time than normal people to get ready. Cause when you were you baseline is at ripped.

[Chanel]

It was all disaster.

[Shane]

How late?

[Chanel]

Like I was late, like 40 minutes, I think.

[Shane]

Okay. Cuz you're on the blue carpet where the celebrities arrive. You got to be there.

[Chanel]

I know, I know, but you Know also, I learned a lot of celebrity early celebrities don't do interviews on the carpet, so you have to grab them. So I would, like, try to grab them. And some of them knew me, so I was lucky in that way. And then also, like, like I said, I have the best team that I work with now in Bravo, and it's just amazing. I have to thank them. They pay the bills. The team that my friends do.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so this is Shout Out. Donald, when will your.

[Shane]

When do you think their next opportunity will be? Will it be next bravocon or before then?

[Chanel]

Before.

[Shane]

Before.

[Chanel]

I have a.

[Shane]

They should just use on every event.

[Chanel]

Oh, thank you.

[Shane]

You should host reunions.

[Chanel]

That's so sweet. I would actually love.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're gonna for sure get some calls. You're getting some phone calls. Jeff Lewis.

[Chanel]

Honestly, I would. My dream is just, like, be a reunion. Ask people questions in the back and then, like, send it to.

[Jeff Lewis]

Like, they should. For sure.

[Shane]

That actually could be fun. That'd be a fun elevator.

[Jeff Lewis]

They should have you at reunion to talk to people in the green room.

[Chanel]

Yes. Because I would be so good at that.

[Shane]

Like, I can't. Because I have to say, when they started adding that, I like when Andy goes back to the dressing rooms.

[Chanel]

Yes.

[Shane]

Like, shoots the shit with them. I actually like that part of the reunion. I'm glad they added that. And they almost needed it because, you know, it fucking goes on forever. Like, five different installments.

[Jeff Lewis]

You want to know what the thing is? Like, we do take lunches and we do have breaks. And the audience wants to hear what people are saying to one another.

[Chanel]

Can be back there and be like,

[Shane]

what do you think about reunions?

[Chanel]

Yes, they do.

[Shane]

I don't remember.

[Jeff Lewis]

I have dementia Shaws of Sunset. I was on it for 10 years. We did reunions every season.

[Shane]

Okay. Because flipping out. We didn't always have a reunion. I don't think we only had, like, two. Really.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Chanel]

I loved reunions.

[Jeff Lewis]

Reunions were the best.

[Shane]

So I'm not. I don't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes. We didn't have a reunion season one of Shah's. And we did not have a reunion season one of the Valley Persian style.

[Chanel]

Really?

[Jeff Lewis]

But reunions are my favorite. They are.

[Guest/Announcer]

Really?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes, it's my favorite.

[Chanel]

I love reunions.

[Jeff Lewis]

Reunions are the shit.

[Shane]

I didn't love doing the reunions because

[Chanel]

it's too much going on. It's like people. It's like, for me, it was fun because I'm psychotic.

[Shane]

You like watching reunions or do you like both?

[Chanel]

Both.

[Shane]

Oh, okay. Cause I like Watching Reun.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, but when you're on a show, our shows are a little different than your show when you have so much built up. You've watched the entire season and now you're feeling some kind of way and you come into a reunion and you get to let out all the things like, bitch, you said what?

[Chanel]

In that confessional interview when I was being asked if I did Ozempic and I was like, I don't remember screaming, but it went viral. But I don't remember like, like feeling like that, you know?

[Shane]

Okay. I mean, obviously we're, we're responsible for the things we say in those confessionals. But I don't know, Shane, if you've, if you've talked, you should just blame the editor. That's what I'm gonna do.

[Oscar]

Oh, 100%.

[Shane]

I'm just gonna say, oh, she led me down the wrong way.

[Jeff Lewis]

Jeff. Mike would literally come for me, say the most low down stuff to me, and then we would wrap the scene and he would walk up to me and he'd be like, you know that wasn't real. They made me do that. Right. And I'm like, did I just fall off the turnip truck? You're trying to whitewash, like, the scene because you think that. You telling me that production made you do that?

[Chanel]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

You were seething, foaming at the mouth. You were living in la vida loca doing this. That was all you, Mike. That was not production.

[Chanel]

Yes. I have a dildo. 2. Now I have to tell you the story that.

[Shane]

Are you watching Rhode Island? Real Houses of Rhode Island?

[Chanel]

Yes. I. I haven't. But I was with Ashley two days ago at the event.

[Shane]

I'm very behind. I am gonna watch.

[Chanel]

They look a lot behind. They're crazy. When I tell you they're crazy. I met them at filming at Girls Trip. Right. In New York and Dorinda's house. That's the first time I met them and I couldn't tell them apart whatsoever. So Dolores invites me to go meet Liz at Lee's room and have a glass of champagne before we go. So I go meet Liz and I'm like. I'm like, Dolores, Liz. I was like, they look so alike. It's crazy.

[Shane]

I like Liz. She was on her show.

[Oscar]

Just wait till you watch this week.

[Chanel]

Yeah, she's so cool.

[Oscar]

So crashes out on Joellen and Jo Ellen. We all thought she was gonna be the nasty one.

[Shane]

But then like, I gotta finish Atlanta. I'm almost caught up with Atlanta.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm living for Atlanta.

[Chanel]

I need to Watch. It's so good.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm living for Atlanta right now.

[Chanel]

So good, I hear.

[Shane]

But the. But I figured Rhode island must be good, because I was in my car, and I turned on Radio Andy, and I was listening to reality chat with Kiki and Dorinda, and they were recapping Rhode Island. And then I went over wherever I had to get out of my car. I had to go run an errand and come back in the car. Now Julia Cunningham's on.

[Chanel]

Who's Julia Cunningham?

[Shane]

Julia Cunningham. She has another show on radio. And get. What's she doing? She's recapping Rhode Island. So I say to Shane, I go, oh, well, should we be recapping Rhode Island? Is this just a Rhode island recap channel?

[Oscar]

That's what we're doing. Well, we should.

[Chanel]

I'll tell you. When I met them, they all looked alike. And then they were all telling me every single thing that happened. Like, I have this thing where people don't. I'm friends with every housewives. They tell me, now I know what's happening in Potomac. I know what's happened in Salt Lake City. Ooh, Salt Lake City is going to be. Oh, I don't even. I'll tell you, not here. I don't want to get in trouble, but I know so much that happens because I'm friends with people. So the Rhode island girls were telling me everything that was happening, but then I made a mistake and went to tell one of them what the other one told me because I couldn't tell the difference.

[Shane]

No.

[Chanel]

Yes. Yes. And then I was like, oh, shit. You know, Rula is really good. I feel bad for her. But also, like, Jo Allen, she's so pretty. But I'm like, get your sister out of your house.

[Shane]

So I can't talk about it because I haven't caught up yet. Like, I'm only on episode three.

[Oscar]

Yeah, there is the.

[Shane]

So I don't. Plus, I don't want to talk about it, because we can just tune into Julia, Reality Checked, or every other show on radio Andy.

[Jameson]

Jeff, how many calls do you want today?

[Chanel]

What?

[Shane]

What do you want? You want another call? What? What am I doing?

[Jameson]

I feel like you're edging for a call.

[Shane]

No, I'm just saying if I was programming the radio channel, I'd be like, oh, yeah, spread these.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're activating Corporate Connie. Don't activate Corporate Connie.

[Shane]

I would just space it out, but I kept turning. Oh, we got another recap.

[Jeff Lewis]

Can we talk?

[Shane]

Here's another recap.

[Jeff Lewis]

I have a feeling Dubai is coming back. There's. I'm seeing Chanel more and more everywhere, and I'm thinking, this is the.

[Chanel]

It's too expensive.

[Shane]

They're gonna find somewhere else. They're finding somewhere else for her.

[Oscar]

Just gonna put her everywhere else.

[Jeff Lewis]

I need her back on a housewife's franchise. I need more Ion on a more regular basis.

[Shane]

She doesn't want to do it. Maybe she wants to do something else.

[Jeff Lewis]

This is my friend.

[Chanel]

I love being on tv. I enjoy that life because I've done it my whole entire life. But I.

[Shane]

But they found a role for you that you excel at.

[Chanel]

Exactly.

[Shane]

And then you could use that as a platform and goalsworth.

[Chanel]

No. Build my life pro.

[Oscar]

Ion Beauty.

[Jeff Lewis]

I would like to. I'm just gonna say I would like Ion. I can film with you back on Housewives.

[Chanel]

I would love that.

[Jeff Lewis]

I need that.

[Shane]

But where's she going? She can go to Beverly Hills.

[Jeff Lewis]

Honestly. She has a mansion in the village of Beverly Hills. She has a mansion right here.

[Chanel]

But Beverly Hills does need me to be honest. They are too uptight. They need somebody that's just fun, doesn't take life serious. And don't give me the, like. Give me a friend role, like Cynthia. I'll do great at it. I'll have fun with the girls. I'll make them lose because they're too uptight for me when I. And they're so beautiful.

[Shane]

But who would you connect with?

[Chanel]

I know all of them personally.

[Shane]

Who are your favorites?

[Chanel]

I. Right now. That's in there.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chanel]

I get along with Kyle. I get along with Boz. I get along with Jennifer Tilly. I'm seeing Kathy Hilton in two days. So, like, I've built my. Oh, what's her name? The sexy one. Pretty mess. I always talk to her. Erica. So dorit. Dorit. Like, I, I. I know all of them. I can just be their friend and I'll bring some fun that they need fun. They need to, like, lose the. And just have fun.

[Shane]

Lose what?

[Jeff Lewis]

Lose the.

[Chanel]

Just lose. Like, just enjoy life.

[Oscar]

Get your loose.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, you know, the, you know, pat

[Shane]

the puss or loose.

[Jeff Lewis]

Loose.

[Chanel]

Not like, more relaxed. Like, just enjoy life.

[Shane]

I've never heard that before.

[Chanel]

Really?

[Shane]

Is that. Is that, like, a common term that everyone knows about?

[Oscar]

Yeah, everyone.

[Chanel]

I think it's like, lose. You're relaxed.

[Shane]

Have you heard that, Oscar?

[Chanel]

Have you.

[Shane]

Jameson?

[Jeff Lewis]

He doesn't know anything about pussies.

[Chanel]

Anything about pussy. It's true. It's true.

[Shane]

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[Jeff Lewis]

Can you guys check your screen? Please tell Jennifer Fessler I love her so much and I miss her when she's here.

[Shane]

She's one of my faves. Have you guys ever been on together?

[Jeff Lewis]

I love her. No, next time. I'm obsessed with her.

[Shane]

Okay, well, how are you on with her?

[Jeff Lewis]

I.

[Shane]

Because she doesn't have a lot of people obsessed with her.

[Oscar]

She doesn't have a lot of friends right now.

[Jeff Lewis]

I adore her.

[Chanel]

Jeff, that's savage.

[Shane]

Tell me about your Waymo experience.

[Chanel]

Oh, my God. So we went to the Abbeys.

[Shane]

Abbey.

[Jeff Lewis]

Not the. Not. No, there were.

[Shane]

Is there more than one?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes. She went to all of them.

[Shane]

Oh. Oh. Because they're connected.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Chanel]

There's more Abyss.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes.

[Chanel]

Oh, okay. So I went to the big one, Right? Anyway, so I was drinking and of course, every time I'm in America, I drink because I really don't drink in Dubai. And so we go. And there's the performers at the Abyss. So I joined the performance and they kicked me out. I'm like, I'm fucking fine.

[Shane]

You got up on the stage?

[Chanel]

Yes. And I joined them. Yes. Because I was. I was. I wanted to have fun. So I was dancing with them, following, confusing them. They're like, chanel, you need to sit down. I was like, oh, do you think

[Shane]

she has an alcohol problem?

[Chanel]

I actually do not have an alcohol problem. I wish I did. I didn't drink for three months. It's just when I'm in America, it's meeting people, going out and, you know,

[Shane]

lots of protein and the fake protein

[Chanel]

they have in America.

[Shane]

Alcohol and protein.

[Chanel]

Yeah. I wish there was alcohol, protein I would do.

[Shane]

Did they really remove you?

[Chanel]

Yes, they removed me from the stage. They're like, shanae, we love you.

[Shane]

Oh, but not from the abbeys.

[Chanel]

No, no, no. Nobody can kick me out of the abbeys. No, no, no. But anyway, so my friend Donald wanted to take the. This car. That's a witch car. I've never seen it in my life. So it's like, there's no driver. If I take that car in my village and tell people that that car can drive itself, people will go crazy because there was a prostitute at the village and some guy paid him money and he lost a. Because the guy said, I bought you.

[Shane]

Okay, I. I just. You just lost me.

[Jeff Lewis]

She left her in a waymo. She lost.

[Shane]

What just happened?

[Oscar]

I don't.

[Chanel]

What.

[Shane]

What did she just say?

[Chanel]

So the guy in my village. You know there's witchcraft in Africa, right? So there's a guy that paid the money for the pussy of the girl, and then he didn't want to give it back, so it was closed. You don't know these stories, like why you cheat. And then the wife does voodoo.

[Jameson]

The guy paid the witch doctor doctor for another woman's pussy.

[Shane]

Can we say vagina?

[Chanel]

Vagina. Yeah, vagina. It's the same thing.

[Shane]

Well, it's 9:30.

[Jeff Lewis]

Her kitty cat. Her kitty cat.

[Chanel]

Okay, kitty.

[Jameson]

So he got the vagina and he wouldn't give it back to her.

[Chanel]

Yeah. Yes.

[Jameson]

So that woman now has a closed vagina?

[Chanel]

No. Then the villagers. Then the villagers begged to give her back, so they gave it back. So the witchcraft.

[Shane]

What does it have to do with Waymo?

[Chanel]

Because the Waymo. Because the Waymo reminds me of witches.

[Jeff Lewis]

Witchcraft. It's a witchcraft.

[Chanel]

Why does it drive by itself?

[Shane]

And that was a reach, but okay.

[Chanel]

No, it's not. Because. Why does it drive by itself?

[Jeff Lewis]

Because a witch is not driver in India. It's behind a remote.

[Shane]

I don't Know who is driving it?

[Chanel]

Who's driving it?

[Oscar]

It's like AI.

[Chanel]

Exactly. It's which.

[Oscar]

It's which.

[Chanel]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Did you get in it?

[Chanel]

Never.

[Shane]

Yeah, I won't either. I won't either.

[Chanel]

No way. I'm not.

[Shane]

I don't trust it.

[Chanel]

I'm not sitting in a car.

[Jeff Lewis]

Patrick and Paul told me to ride them because there are lawsuit waiting to happen and I could cash in on.

[Shane]

Did he really? It's Patrick. Patrick really told you that, didn't he?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Chanel]

What do you mean lawsuits?

[Shane]

Because they drive themselves. They get in accidents.

[Chanel]

They do get in accidents.

[Shane]

Oh, yes, they do.

[Chanel]

Holy fuck. And you know, they commented they liked my video.

[Shane]

You. They drop you off at random places.

[Chanel]

You're lying.

[Shane]

No, I'm not lying. Jameson took one.

[Jameson]

My witch. My witch did drop me off on the corner of Santa Monica in the median, but it let me keep my vagina in its. I took it out with all my vagina.

[Shane]

And that's definitely not closed.

[Jeff Lewis]

Jameson, that is.

[Shane]

Open wide.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, God.

[Chanel]

Oh, my God.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, that's that loose vagina she was talking about.

[Shane]

Oh, so all this time you're talking about Jameson. I get it.

[Chanel]

Yes. I was. I was describing our friend Jameson that I love, you know, but we have

[Jameson]

the video of the Chanel and explains

[Shane]

why I should not take away my

[Chanel]

African said there is a car that drives itself. People will think it's crazy. Why are you doing this yourself? Like, hey, robot man. Robot, open the door.

[Shane]

Oh, she's getting in.

[Chanel]

Oh, my God. Hello.

[Jeff Lewis]

You.

[Chanel]

Don't. Do you really trust this machine?

[Jeff Lewis]

I trust this robot.

[Shane]

Yeah, I don't trust him either.

[Chanel]

I can't. I can't get in it. But they can. Maybe they pay me money, I'll go in it.

[Shane]

There's all sorts of things on the, like Instagram where they go in circles or they drop people off at the wrong places or they. Sometimes they just like. If there's a fire engine, they just stop in front of the fire engine. It doesn't move. Yeah, I don't.

[Chanel]

I don't think it's.

[Jeff Lewis]

That sounds like a cash payday.

[Shane]

You know what I mean?

[Jeff Lewis]

That sounds like a payday.

[Chanel]

Jason, did you sue them for leaving you on the street?

[Jameson]

No, no, no. It just. It was like not the most opportune place to be. I was still pulled over, but it was just Santa Monica.

[Shane]

But now you're in the median, right?

[Chanel]

Yeah.

[Shane]

So now let's say it drops you off in the median. You cross, you get hit by a car, you sue Waymo Right. Well, Patrick and Polar.

[Chanel]

Right.

[Jeff Lewis]

But America, I was joking, by the way.

[Chanel]

Do you know what happened to me? Do you know what I saw driving in Beverly Hills? You guys have robots that deliver food?

[Jeff Lewis]

Cokes?

[Shane]

Yes. I don't use them. They're slow.

[Chanel]

There was a policeman out of his car, went to give the robot a ticket. The robot, the ticket. I have it in video. I had to video it because I don't think I would ever see that in life. A policeman giving a robot.

[Shane]

And did you look behind him? Because there was probably an armed robbery happening right behind him while he was ticketing the food robot.

[Chanel]

I was like, why did the food robot do it? Stopped and it took the. I don't know. It was funny.

[Shane]

Well, the problem is that our sidewalks are so damaged, so sometimes they just stop and they can't go around. And you don't get your food. You don't get your food. I want a person delivering my food.

[Oscar]

Me, too.

[Shane]

Preferably on a scooter or something. So they can go around.

[Oscar]

So they can weave.

[Shane]

So they can weave.

[Chanel]

Yeah. But no, America is. America, for me is entertaining every single day.

[Shane]

It is entertaining.

[Chanel]

I really love being here. It's crazy.

[Shane]

Did you go to Walgreens?

[Chanel]

Yes.

[Shane]

How was it?

[Chanel]

Oh, my God. So this is actually true story. I finally have a dildo people on the planet Earth.

[Shane]

Wait, what?

[Oscar]

She's been trying so hard to tell this story.

[Chanel]

Yes, because it's the best story I've ever experienced. Raza, you have to listen to this.

[Jeff Lewis]

Let's hear it.

[Shane]

I don't know about this.

[Chanel]

I'm telling you. So. So I went to Walgreens. Okay. And they sell. First of all, they close everything in the supermarket.

[Shane]

Yes.

[Chanel]

It's so special because you have to call somebody to open it.

[Shane]

I know, it's a pain in the ass.

[Chanel]

I've never seen anything like that. Even toothbrush.

[Jeff Lewis]

They'll steal them.

[Shane]

Blind toothbrush. Oh, they steal everything and there's no consequences.

[Chanel]

That's crazy. That's why they locked. I thought it's because you feel special. They open to you and you talk to the person. Yeah. So I walked on the island. I saw they were selling dildos and stuff. And then I looked for the man, and this man came. He was short, his hair was wet. And I said to him, which one is the best one here?

[Shane]

Brandon. Why didn't you take her to the pleasure chest? Why did you take her to Walgreens? Yeah, for that. She stumbled on the dildos. Yes, she stumbled on the dildos in Walgreens So what were you there for? She was there for press on nails. She left the dildo?

[Chanel]

Yes.

[Shane]

Did you get the press on nails?

[Chanel]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Oh, good. Okay.

[Chanel]

Yeah. Like it was.

[Shane]

Do those work?

[Chanel]

No. So I asked the guy in the store, which one do you recommend, the

[Shane]

dildo or the press on nails?

[Chanel]

No, the dildo. So he looked at me like, what? And I'm like, but you have to have know which one. He goes, I don't know. I'm like, but if the one people buy, which one would you recommend? So he recommended the one I bought. Thank him.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Chanel]

Love it.

[Shane]

Okay. Did you go big, small, medium?

[Chanel]

No.

[Jeff Lewis]

She told me she had a massive orgasm in the Beverly Hills mansion.

[Chanel]

I did, but I also had tables.

[Shane]

There goes the bedding. Sorry, Brandon.

[Chanel]

So I had TSA drink.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's a water bed now.

[Chanel]

So I had a TSA drink. Right. So TSA drink. And my pressure. Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Thc.

[Chanel]

Yeah, that one. That one. And I tried my thing, my vibrator for the first time, baby. It was the best experience. She was on another recommend to every single person in America. Get thc. And then go to Walgreens.

[Shane]

Thc.

[Chanel]

Thc.

[Shane]

Yes.

[Chanel]

Yeah, and go to Walgreens, baby. I've never experienced anything like it was like my body was leaving my body.

[Shane]

Was it a vibrator or just.

[Chanel]

No, it's a lipstick. It's pink color.

[Shane]

Okay. Does it vibrate? Yes. Okay.

[Chanel]

Fabulous stuff, darling.

[Shane]

Well, congratulations. I'm so glad. And then did you get anything else besides the nails and the.

[Chanel]

Oh, we bought so much candies.

[Shane]

What's your favorite?

[Chanel]

Oh, I love sour pussy, sour patch

[Jeff Lewis]

and sour pussies.

[Chanel]

I do love that one. It's my favorite.

[Shane]

And Red Vines, I heard.

[Chanel]

Oh, I love. Because they don't sell them in Dubai.

[Shane]

Oh, yeah. So do you stock up and take

[Chanel]

them back from here to Dubai all the time? Because they don't sell them because your supermarket is wide. I don't know who creates all these foods for you guys. No one else in the world eats what you guys have here. It's so good, but yet I think it's very bad for you.

[Shane]

Yes, it is.

[Jeff Lewis]

Because some of the chemicals are banned in foreign countries.

[Shane]

Should try a Pop Tart. We've got Pop Tarts.

[Oscar]

Have you had one, babe?

[Chanel]

Have you had a Pop Tart in America? Yes.

[Shane]

Do we have Pop Tarts for her?

[Oscar]

I'll find one for you.

[Shane]

We're have to sew you into that outfit, though, when you're done. But it's so good.

[Chanel]

Everything here it's so good. And the portions of the food here is I love America brand.

[Shane]

Did you take her to Cheesecake Factory? She has not been to Cheesecake Factory. You will freak the fuck out.

[Jeff Lewis]

You could feed your whole village back

[Shane]

home village with one. Even the one with the.

[Chanel]

I just love closed.

[Jeff Lewis]

The closed up pussy. She deserves a double portion.

[Shane]

She really does. What do you think the one the girl would like?

[Oscar]

I think she would like the dark avocado egg rolls.

[Shane]

Obviously delicious. With a dipping sauce.

[Oscar]

I would hit all the continents. Do an orange chicken. Do a chicken parmesan.

[Shane]

You gotta go.

[Chanel]

My favorite restaurant in Mecca is Olive Garden.

[Jeff Lewis]

Bang bang chicken and shrimp.

[Chanel]

I love Olive Garden.

[Shane]

Olive Garden?

[Oscar]

Yeah.

[Shane]

We don't have one close, do we?

[Jeff Lewis]

What?

[Chanel]

I would go where I also want to go to.

[Jeff Lewis]

Stop it. Jeff Lewis. You would go to Olive Garden?

[Shane]

I go to chilies.

[Chanel]

I love chilies.

[Shane]

Are you kidding? Of course I go to Olive.

[Chanel]

I know I eat in chilies.

[Shane]

Do you think I'm some bougie?

[Jeff Lewis]

No.

[Chanel]

Where I eat at.

[Jeff Lewis]

No. Olive Garden is very sodium rich. If you eat at Olive Garden, you.

[Shane]

Oh, cause I'm fat? Is that what you mean?

[Oscar]

I thought it was good for you.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, you literally.

[Shane]

Oh, this is fat chick.

[Jameson]

The closest one is by that big living spaces. So you go argue with them and then you can go have all of your.

[Chanel]

Do you know.

[Shane]

You know what? They still owe me money. Maybe I should go and talk to them.

[Jameson]

Another phone call.

[Jeff Lewis]

Let's just go. Let's just walk in and pick up a club chair and walk out for payment.

[Chanel]

Have you tried Taco Bell? Diet Coke? My favorite Taco Bell.

[Jeff Lewis]

I love Taco Bell.

[Chanel]

Taco Bell. Oh, my God. They don't have those kind of food, I'm afraid.

[Shane]

You would be so. So. But you'd be happy here.

[Chanel]

Yes, I would be happy here.

[Shane]

I think you need to move here, fatlicious.

[Chanel]

Yes.

[Shane]

Just do we need Chris in my life? Yeah.

[Chanel]

Yes. I love my husband, but you said

[Shane]

if something happened to him, you would date a black man or a woman.

[Chanel]

But he's still alive though.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Chanel]

Right now. I love him so much right now.

[Jeff Lewis]

Right now. Right now. Tomorrow ask me again.

[Shane]

Are you still interested in dating a black man or a woman?

[Chanel]

If something happens to Chris, I'm gonna be international.

[Shane]

Okay?

[Chanel]

That's what I saw Sierra the other day. And I was like, girl, go be international. Go live your best life. My darling.

[Shane]

Adam's birthday.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes.

[Shane]

Very interesting gift you chose. You had a shaman come to the house and administer drugs for how Many hours.

[Jeff Lewis]

Six.

[Oscar]

What?

[Shane]

Six hours of mushrooms, ketamine. And what is. Cian would mention this. What is this?

[Jeff Lewis]

M. D.M.A.

[Shane]

what's that?

[Jeff Lewis]

It's like ecstasy, MDMA.

[Shane]

MDMA? I've never heard of that.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's like pure MDMA. Yeah, it's a heart opener.

[Shane]

So you did all in one, one, one day?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes.

[Shane]

You did mushrooms, ketamine and mdma?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Now you had a shaman administer the drugs?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes.

[Shane]

And by shaman, this is a. Some white guy who used to teach

[Jeff Lewis]

yoga, who still does teach yoga.

[Shane]

Okay, you know what's crazy?

[Jeff Lewis]

We went to a dinner party because of Michael and Brandon with Ion and Crystal Minkoff. And we go, and the hostess of the party was talking about the shaman who had just been at my house the Saturday before. So she knew him too?

[Chanel]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Do you have to sign some sort of, like, liability waiver?

[Jeff Lewis]

I didn't sign a waiver. No, the people that referred him to me.

[Shane]

Couldn't he kill somebody with it?

[Jameson]

Is it for, like, what's the purpose? Is it here?

[Shane]

Yeah, what is the purpose? Just to get fucked up?

[Jeff Lewis]

No, it's not about getting fucked up. It was about connecting with Adam and. And like, expanding my horizons and, like, resetting the Muzak in my head.

[Shane]

I should do mushrooms, ketamine and MDMA with Nikki. Yeah, we can connect.

[Oscar]

You guys need to reset.

[Shane]

We need to reset and reconnect. Oh, he's a co host.

[Chanel]

Oh, okay. Yeah, I don't think you should do it.

[Shane]

Yeah, I don't really like that idea of being out of control, not remembering what I've done in six hours.

[Jeff Lewis]

First of all, you're not out of control.

[Shane]

Oh, okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

And you remember and you have a. Like, he comes over the next day or you do a zoom and you download what you went through.

[Shane]

I also worry about the group sex and the std.

[Jeff Lewis]

There's no group sex.

[Shane]

Okay. I just assumed that was involved. No. Oh, no.

[Chanel]

It's just him and Adam. Because Adam told us the next day was the best experience he's ever had in a life.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes, thank you.

[Chanel]

He said he enjoyed it so much.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes. And it brought us much closer.

[Chanel]

And by the way, can I say something? Your husband is actually funny.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes.

[Chanel]

Because the stories me and him were talking about.

[Jeff Lewis]

He's quiet until you get to know him.

[Shane]

And then I always hang out with him at parties. I like him.

[Chanel]

Oh, my God, me too.

[Jeff Lewis]

Once he opens up.

[Chanel]

I've hung out with him many times now. He's always quiet. But the other day he came to see me and we were in the room, he came to my room and we were together and we just started talking with Brian and the staff. Like he was talking, I was like, who are you? I love you.

[Shane]

He's like a silent assassin.

[Chanel]

Exactly.

[Shane]

And when you stand next to him, he comes up with these like one liners and I'm laughing my ass off.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now you know why I've been married for 10 years.

[Shane]

Yes. I don't know why you have to do all the drugs though to connect life.

[Jeff Lewis]

I mean, maybe I have a drug problem.

[Chanel]

Like my alcohol problem?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes, exactly.

[Shane]

So how much did you did it

[Jeff Lewis]

set you back $2,000.

[Chanel]

Is that expensive?

[Shane]

Yeah, for a six hour trip.

[Chanel]

Wow, drugs is expensive.

[Jeff Lewis]

It was worth every penny and it was amazing.

[Chanel]

Wow.

[Shane]

I mean, look, I'm trying not to judge, but I'm judging.

[Jeff Lewis]

And then I took that.

[Chanel]

I'm judging the money. The money is a lot. Cause I thought the drugs are.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hello. We went to dinner on tv.

[Chanel]

So how do people afford the drugs on the street? Streets was $2,000.

[Shane]

How do you know that's not where the yoga teacher's getting them? Oh, where are the drugs coming from?

[Jeff Lewis]

First of all, it's pure mdma, it's pharmaceutical.

[Shane]

That nanny in Calabasas, you didn't do fentanyl, did you?

[Jeff Lewis]

Dude, that nanny is affiliated with.

[Shane]

Okay, don't say that because then we're going to get in real trouble.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm not. I didn't.

[Shane]

Yeah, but you almost. I know exactly what you meant.

[Jeff Lewis]

I knew what I meant.

[Oscar]

What did you think of the population?

[Shane]

Six degrees, one degree of separation.

[Chanel]

I really liked it a lot.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm excited.

[Shane]

Sweet.

[Jeff Lewis]

Because he might.

[Chanel]

One packet, that's all you can have. Yeah, pop. That's good.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's very doughy. She said it's doughy.

[Chanel]

But you can't eat more than that.

[Shane]

Did you give her the cinnamon one?

[Chanel]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're supposed to toast it. It's not good.

[Shane]

I like it raw.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, of course you do.

[Chanel]

Of course you do.

[Shane]

Thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Joe Jeff Lewis live every weekday on Sirius XM as well as the Jeff Lewis Channel, exclusively on the SiriusXM app. Royal Caribbean takes next level to another level. Go all in on the world's boldest ships. Filled with mind blowing entertainment, world class dining and the largest water parks at sea. And just when you think it couldn't get any better, you'll stop at our award winning private island. Perfect day. Coco Castle.

[Guest/Announcer]

Okay.

[Shane]

It's an unreal adventure for everyone in the family book [e-mail] Big Time Best Time all the time. Come seek the Royal Caribbean Ships registry Bahamas.

[Guest/Announcer]

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