Colton Underwood & Justin Sylvester: Virgins & Micromembers

Summary

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Podcast Summary

Jeff Lewis Has Issues: Colton Underwood & Justin Sylvester – Virgins & Micromembers
Date: August 22, 2025
Host: Jeff Lewis
Guests: Colton Underwood, Justin Sylvester

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Main Theme & Purpose

This lively episode dives into Colton Underwood's new dating show for virgins, "Are You My First?" The conversation explores the concept and casting of the reality series, humorous and frank discussions about sexuality and relationships, and why people remain virgins into adulthood. Jeff, Colton, Justin, and the crew mix irreverent humor, honest confessions, and pop culture commentary. The group also reflects on their own experiences, relationships, and classic "Jeff Lewis" personal anecdotes.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Colton Underwood’s New Show: "Are You My First?"

• Premise: A dating show for adult virgins, offering a nuanced look at why people remain virgins (religion, shyness, physical reasons, upbringing, sexuality, etc.).
• Production Challenges: Jeff and the team discuss the Disney screener’s over-the-top security, lengthy NDAs, and technical headaches accessing preview episodes.
  • "Disney's more serious than the White House right now." – Colton Underwood (06:48)
• Show Format & Tone:
  • The hosts assure it's compassionate and three-dimensional, not exploitative, showing the heart behind each story.
    • “There’s heart to it. I think everybody could sort of take something away from these virgins.” – Colton Underwood (11:16)
  • Cast diversity: ages 22–36, mixed reasons for virginity, including a potential lesbian and several likely gay contestants.

2. Virgins and Sexuality: Candid and Comic Observations

• Why Virgins?

  • Each participant’s personal reason discussed—from micro penises to religious beliefs to vaginismus (a condition that causes pain and involuntary muscle contractions).
  • "I'm like: I bet some of these dudes have micro penises, and they're so ashamed." – Jeff Lewis (12:27)

• Hot Button: Vaginismus

  • Rachel, a hot, seemingly outgoing contestant, has it, leading to a deep-dive on what it is, therapy options, and how it's discussed on the show.
  • Colton credits co-host Kaitlyn Bristowe for guiding the conversation tactfully.
    • "I'm so grateful that I was a co-host with Kaitlyn Bristowe on this, because I was not prepared to have a conversation about vaginismus." – Colton Underwood (15:18)
  • Callers share real-life struggles, highlighting the topic's relevance/complexity.
    • "I think men are very attractive. But I am a lesbian because of it." – Lizzie (Caller, 41:18)

• Sexual Fluidity & Theories

  • The group postulates about closeted gay cast members ("I saw myself in it." – Colton, 19:21), micro-penis anxieties, and the “high-stakes” reality of first-time intimacy.
  • Discussion on what "counts" as losing virginity. Oral sex? Docking? Soaking? (24:02–24:27)

3. The Show’s Structure and Critiques

• Mix of Cast
  • Shane's “dating show theory”: producers introduce less-attractive contestants, then add “bombshells” later to shake things up.
    • "You put the uggos out first, then bring the hotties Week Two." – Shane (10:16)
• Relatable, Not Glossy:
  • More "Love on the Spectrum" than "The Bachelor"; awkward, real, often sweet first kisses and dates.
    • "What I love about this, too, is...a big deal for them to hold hands." – Colton (21:40)
• Host’s Honest Critique:
  • Jeff feels producers waste time on “cheesy lines” for the hosts and overly long paint-the-crush scenes. He suggests cutting to more meaningful, authentic content.
    • "You have this wealth of content... but the paint thing...it just kind of dragged out." – Jeff Lewis (25:09)

4. Show’s Impact & Season 2

• Future Casting:
  • Colton predicts more virgins will sign up now that producers have proven the show isn’t exploitative.
    • "Now that we somewhat have the credibility, I think people will trust us more." – Colton (20:49)
• Season 2 Theories:
  • The crew floats the possibility of bringing in known personalities as “challenges,” more twists, and a “companion” show for “old whores” or people with colorful pasts.
    • "Are you my last? Can you turn a hoe into a housewife?" – Shane (31:27)

5. Comic Tangents & Personal Revelations

• Parenthood & Home Life:

  • Colton shares on being a new dad and balancing a caregiver (nanny) and work-from-home life.
    • "He's sleeping through the night... Best investment of my life." – Colton (05:25, 06:08)

• Jeff’s Sty, Eye Health and Hygiene:

  • Tips for sty care transition into stories about pink eye, hand washing, and “fecal matter transfers.”
    • "I believe fecal matter was transferred from someone's hand to mine. Probably Justin's." – Jeff (02:40)

• Underwear Confessions:

  • A call-in obsessively asks if Colton still goes commando, referencing his “Daddyhood” podcast.
    • "I was commando when I was unemployed...But now when I do these shows, I have to be mic'd...it's not professional." – Colton (33:16)

• "White Girl Shit" Vacation Rituals:

  • Justin and callers bond over Aspen rituals: getting matcha, walking, “doing nothing,” and farmer’s markets—gently ribbing luxury resort stereotypes.
    • "White ladies don’t really give much energy on vacation besides riding a bike. They don’t want to do shit." – Justin Sylvester (39:20–39:31)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Why People Stay Virgins:
  "Being a virgin is very layered. That could be one of the reasons somebody is still a virgin. Yeah, it's a real answer." – Colton Underwood (13:48)

• On Reality TV Production:
  "You have this wealth of content there and... you spent a lot of time on the paint thing... it just kind of dragged out." – Jeff Lewis (25:09)

• On Respect for Contestants:
  "I feel like I'm like the protector parent of them... I've been through this too... I think I have a lot of empathy for these people." – Colton Underwood (18:25)

• On Representation and Fluidity:
  "I do think there's definitely some fluidity on the cast." – Colton Underwood (19:49)

• On Discussing Vaginismus:
  "I'm going to be a sweaty mess. You know how much makeup you're going to have to put on me?" – Jeff Lewis (32:13)

• On "White Girl Shit":
  "If Annie’s doing it, I’m doing it. White ladies don’t really give much energy on vacation besides riding a bike." – Justin Sylvester (39:20)

• Fan Callers:

  • Real women call in to talk about physical conditions and their effects on sexuality, sharing moving and comic stories.
  • "I'm 65 now...I tried to dabble in it in my 30s, I can't do it. I did go to PT...but I'm a lesbian." – Caller Lizzie (41:54)

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Important Timestamps

• 05:21: Colton on parenting and support staff
• 06:46: Disney screener/NDA madness
• 13:48: Micro-penis and reasons for virginity
• 15:08: Rachel’s story and vaginismus explained
• 19:21: Colton on gay vibes and contestant secrets
• 21:40: Difference between "The Bachelor" and "Are You My First?"
• 24:02–24:27: What “counts” as sex? Docking, soaking, oral
• 25:09: Jeff critiques wasted content and cheesy host lines
• 31:27: “Are You My Last?” – Companion show joke
• 33:16: Colton discusses underwear and commando habits
• 39:20–39:31: Justin on “white girl shit” in Aspen
• 41:18: Lizzie calls in about lesbians and vaginismus
• 44:54: Matching vaginismus with micropenis: group debate
• 47:01: Colton on more kids, embryos, and parenthood
• 48:53: Justin describes “best behavior” when Jeff’s boyfriend Ty is home
• 51:38: Justin on being the “face of E! News” and the Emmy-nominated Dolly Parton special

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Takeaways for New Listeners

This episode is a rapid-fire mix of reality TV breakdowns, adult humor, empathy, and real-life calls. Colton Underwood provides heartfelt and sometimes vulnerable insight about hosting a sensitive show at the intersection of sexuality, shame, and pop culture. Jeff and Justin keep the energy high and the jokes coming, ensuring listeners are both entertained and informed on the quirks and challenges of dating, production, and personal identity in America today.

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If you missed the episode, this summary provides you with the flavor, tone, highlights, and substance—minus the ads!

Transcript

[Jeff Lewis]

Jeff Lewis has issues is brought to you by Henry Meds. Henry Meds supports your weight management journey with personalized care from licensed healthcare providers. Following a free telehealth consult, prescribed compounded GLP1 medications are delivered to your door. It's fast, affordable, with ongoing support. All online. Visit henrymeds.com and use code JEFF125 to get $125 off your first month. Results may vary. Not all patients are eligible. Compounded medications are not FDA approved. Consult a healthc provider to determine if treatment is right for you. This episode is brought to you by Huggies. Snug and dry. Unbelievably soft, irresistibly soft. Experience the unexpected softness and up to 100% leak protection. So snug, so dry. More parents choose the new Huggies Snug and dry softness versus the leading premium diaper Huggies. We got you, baby. When you're Jeff Lewis, the drama never stops. This dementia is aggressive.

[Shane]

So is the.

[Justin Sylvester]

You know, I've never been on a private plane before, and I'm very excited.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you serious?

[Colton Underwood]

No, never.

[Jeff Lewis]

What are you, a Martian? You're really demented. You're actually demented.

[Caller/Guest]

Jeff Lewis has issues.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hey, it's Jeff Lewis and I have issues. In today's episode, Colton Underwood and Justin Sylvester join the show. We talk about virgins, micropenises and white girl vacations. Good morning.

[Justin Sylvester]

Good morning.

[Jeff Lewis]

Good morning.

[Justin Sylvester]

How are you?

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, we were talking about my stye, which looks better today, but you have a weird remedy.

[Justin Sylvester]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

That you were recommending.

[Shane]

This was like casting a spell.

[Justin Sylvester]

No, I'm telling you, I swear.

[Shane]

Boil the egg. Throw the salt on your shoulder.

[Justin Sylvester]

No, a nurse taught me this. A nurse taught me that if you have a stye and you want to keep a hot compress because if you warm a towel up, it'll only stay warm for three minutes.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're right.

[Justin Sylvester]

So what you do is you boil an egg. You take the egg out the boiling water. Once it starts boiling, wrap it in a paper towel, put a little bit of water on the paper towel and put the egg on your face. Because the egg will last, will stay hot for 10, 15 minutes.

[Jeff Lewis]

And if I lie on my back, I can put that egg right in my eye socket.

[Justin Sylvester]

Exactly.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Justin Sylvester]

And it works like a.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. Okay. I swear to you, that makes sense to me.

[Justin Sylvester]

And then what you do is you keep the egg, and when you're ready to do it again, you put the egg back in the boiling water and reuse the same egg.

[Colton Underwood]

I thought he was going to Say you eat it. That's a breakfast.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you suffer from st? I don't.

[Colton Underwood]

I wash my hands.

[Justin Sylvester]

And he doesn't need to ask like you.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, here's the problem. You know, you're on this whole promotional tour right now. You are shaking all of these people's hands. You have no idea where they've been.

[Colton Underwood]

Totally.

[Jeff Lewis]

And that's. I. I believe fecal matter was transferred from someone's hand to mine. Probably Justin's. And then. And then I rubbed my eye. But Keon, you also get styes. You were telling me he also eats ass.

[Colton Underwood]

I used to, like in high school.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Colton Underwood]

Yeah. Have you guys ever had pink eye?

[Justin Sylvester]

I just had. Oh, yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, just wait. Wait 2 Bishop brings that shit home. Oh, no. You're fucked. Yeah, just wait till he goes to preschool. You're gonna get pink eye, bro. So is Jordan.

[Justin Sylvester]

I don't know, my boyfriend.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you gonna homeschool him?

[Colton Underwood]

We're gonna bring it to you. And we're. We. Jordan hates when I talk about this, but I'm gonna talk about it. Yeah, we. Like. I'm like. I don't want him sitting in a desk for eight hours.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, no, they won't wait. No, they won't at preschool. But you have to find a very play based. I have one. A very play based preschool.

[Colton Underwood]

Think about pods. You've heard like those where like the kids get together, four or five of them, and the parents basically go in and split the costs of what? Like a teacher or a tutor would be.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't know. They're gonna end up socially weird.

[Justin Sylvester]

Yeah. And then you put yourself. But then you put yourself behind on the kindergarten.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, let me ask Oscar, were you in a pod at all?

[Shane]

Oscar gives pod energy.

[Jeff Lewis]

No.

[Colton Underwood]

I don't even know what a pod is.

[Jeff Lewis]

What's a pod? I don't know about the pod. They did that during COVID I don't know. I would rather see him in class. 17.

[Colton Underwood]

I think there's like 17 kids.

[Justin Sylvester]

Yeah, no, you gotta get. That's some like social shit that you need.

[Shane]

Football and basketball, forget about those.

[Colton Underwood]

Education.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, here's the thing. If you're not like most chumps aren't smart. Right? But we're very social and that's how we've been able to excel in life. So I'm assuming you're same. I'm assuming your son is smart. But. But just in case he's not, you know, we need to work on those social skills because otherwise you end up working here at Jeff Lewis Live Sorry, Austin.

[Justin Sylvester]

By the way, where's Jameson?

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, he had burnout.

[Justin Sylvester]

Oh, shit.

[Jeff Lewis]

As opposed to rust out. There's burnout. He has burnout. He had to take a few days off. Some mental health days. Ah, yeah.

[Justin Sylvester]

Do you give those here?

[Jeff Lewis]

No, actually, I don't in my office. But yeah, they pass them around like fucking candy here at SiriusXM. You kidding?

[Justin Sylvester]

Serious.

[Jeff Lewis]

No one works. Did you. You know, I'm not. I don't want to start this, but you. You notice that there's nobody here, by the way.

[Justin Sylvester]

There is no one here. But there's a lot of Alex Cooper merch.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes.

[Justin Sylvester]

There's a lot of unwell.

[Shane]

Just unwell.

[Justin Sylvester]

Literally.

[Jeff Lewis]

And she better sell a lot of that shit to earn out.

[Justin Sylvester]

She better.

[Colton Underwood]

They're looking for their roi. They got. They had a merch tent set up at the front door out here.

[Jeff Lewis]

So, Colton, have we seen you since you had the baby?

[Colton Underwood]

No. Well, once. Yes, once.

[Jeff Lewis]

Once. Okay. Oh, in the beginning.

[Colton Underwood]

In the very beginning.

[Jeff Lewis]

How's it going?

[Colton Underwood]

It's going great.

[Jeff Lewis]

Because you look happy and rested.

[Colton Underwood]

I am.

[Jeff Lewis]

I was not.

[Colton Underwood]

He's sleeping through the night. Like he has a bad night. Once or twice a week.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Colton Underwood]

I'm the morning rotation. I'm the morning guy.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Colton Underwood]

So. Yeah. And we have an incredible, you know, caregiver that comes to the house and helps out, so. Because Jordan and I work from home, so we're able to spend time.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you have a nanny? You have a nanny? You can say caregiver, by the way.

[Justin Sylvester]

Yes, that's what the gays say. We have a careg. No, Bitch, you got two Latinos up in there working their asses off. All right, I'm sending ice right to your house.

[Colton Underwood]

She's incredible. Yeah, no, we're great.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did you have a night nurse?

[Colton Underwood]

Yes, I trained at four and a half months. He was sleeping through that.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, you gotta do.

[Justin Sylvester]

Not even a crow's feet over here. I don't even have a wrinkle on his face.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, he hasn't lost two hours of sleep.

[Justin Sylvester]

Nothing.

[Colton Underwood]

Best investment of my life.

[Justin Sylvester]

He's getting a solid 10 every night.

[Colton Underwood]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm excited for your new gig.

[Colton Underwood]

Thank you. Fun.

[Jeff Lewis]

So I wasn't sure what to expect, and they make it very difficult to watch, so they sent us the screeners, but. Shane, will you explain? I would have never fucking figured it out.

[Colton Underwood]

No, the Disney. The Disney Vault.

[Shane]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Holy shit.

[Colton Underwood]

Cold Disney security is unlike anything else.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wait, who got us in? Was it Kian?

[Shane]

It was a joint effort.

[Justin Sylvester]

Oh, is that why Disney sent me that thing yesterday. Oh, that must be Disney deal.

[Shane]

And you have to schedule your thing within 72 hours of them sending the link or you have to ask for.

[Colton Underwood]

A new link and then you have to get an authentication code.

[Shane]

You have to get an app for authentication.

[Colton Underwood]

I mean, Disney's more serious in the White House right now.

[Jeff Lewis]

So how did you get in?

[Colton Underwood]

So we had to use Shane's login. And then once you do the Google like authentication or whatever and you're. Now you're in. It's like two steps. Then when you try to play an episode, it takes you to a DocuSign. They design an NDA before you even watch it. And then when we finally had it, you try to airplay it. It won't let you airplay it. So we. I luckily just had an HDMI in my backpack and we like plugged it in like.

[Justin Sylvester]

Yeah, Wait, hold on. You couldn't figure it how to get in? Bakin did.

[Jeff Lewis]

Keyian's smart.

[Justin Sylvester]

We have a problem now.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, Kian's smart is the brains. He is, he's the brains behind the operation. Well, actually Annie is.

[Justin Sylvester]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

And people. No, honestly, Annie's smart. People don't realize it. Thank you so much.

[Justin Sylvester]

She is, she is so Annie.

[Jeff Lewis]

She reminds me of my sister in law because she has this. You know, my sister in law is like ditzy and you know, she's very energetic and fun and you know, but she's real smart behind those eyes. And that's Annie.

[Justin Sylvester]

She puts it on.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. Anyway, what were we talking about? Okay, so the show. The show. So I was gonna watch it at night and then they said, no. The boys said, no, no, no, we gotta watch this. Cause you're never gonna figure it out.

[Shane]

Because this has happened before where Jeff's like, I wanna watch it after I do my walk. After I do this. And da, da. But then he can't get into the screeners. I'm like, jeff, this one in particular. There is a zero percent chance that you will actually make it to viewing this show if I leave you to do it on your own.

[Jeff Lewis]

Justin, do you have the screener?

[Justin Sylvester]

I do, but I didn't try to get in.

[Jeff Lewis]

You have to watch it. Okay, so it's called Are youe My first. It's a dating show for virgins.

[Justin Sylvester]

Stop.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's so good.

[Justin Sylvester]

Wait, what are you guys. Where does it take place?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, where are you? Virgin Islands.

[Colton Underwood]

No, that would have been an epic one.

[Jeff Lewis]

Two on the nose.

[Colton Underwood]

We're on an island called Costa Rica.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, I've heard of that.

[Colton Underwood]

It was beautiful. And it was so much hot. So hot.

[Jeff Lewis]

I was wondering because I noticed you had a lot of makeup on your face. And I'm like, they keep powdering him because he's sweating. But how did you not sweat through your clothes?

[Colton Underwood]

Oh, I did.

[Jeff Lewis]

I didn't see it.

[Colton Underwood]

Thank you. I was like, fanning, doing all sorts of things. You were doing it running in and out of air, trying to stay as air conditioned as possible.

[Jeff Lewis]

I need to give you the name of these shirts. Thompson Tees. Deep V's. They're really tight. You can wear them under your shirt so you don't sweat through.

[Justin Sylvester]

Oh, nice.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. And they're, like padded under the arm, so you never show. I need that Thompson tees.

[Justin Sylvester]

I'm gonna do that with the deep V. I'm doing that because I normally put, like, panty liners, but I'm.

[Jeff Lewis]

Am I a size medium?

[Shane]

Actually, yes. You have to. You have to get a size down at Thompson's. They're huge. Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're not supposed to say they're small.

[Shane]

They're massive. They're literally massive. So you have to get a size down. Cause the medium would never fit Jeff, you know, in real life. But for this brand, yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so we have lots of questions. We should have watched it, by the way.

[Justin Sylvester]

Do people have sex on this thing?

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm hoping.

[Justin Sylvester]

Oh, somebody gets it in.

[Colton Underwood]

Well, I'm not spoiling this for anybody, but the premise of it, it's deeper than just the physical part of it.

[Justin Sylvester]

Of course.

[Colton Underwood]

But that is the main topic of conversation on the show is why, you know, what has caused you up until this point to remain a virgin.

[Justin Sylvester]

Yeah.

[Colton Underwood]

And there's no, like, you know, one size fits all for it.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's crazy.

[Justin Sylvester]

Everybody has an.

[Jeff Lewis]

Everyone has a reason. Everyone has a reason.

[Colton Underwood]

I mean, you saw, like, you know, Rachel, like.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, I'm gonna talk. Oh, I'm getting to her.

[Colton Underwood]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm getting to her. So 21 virgins. But Shane. Shane has a theory about dating shows. And I think your theory is correct on this one too. And what is it?

[Shane]

Yeah, we talked about this with the Pete's. You put the uggos out first, and then when you test how much they like each other, then you bring in the hotties. Week two, week three, to test the relationship.

[Jeff Lewis]

Ah, look at him nodding. He's smiling and nodding. That's what they're doing.

[Colton Underwood]

Because the arrivals are hot.

[Shane]

Bombshells enter the villa.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, I saw the ones coming in. I think the cast episode Two is pretty hot.

[Colton Underwood]

The cast is very good looking and it was an incredible group of virgins. But yes, you see the men shaking in their boots.

[Shane]

But it's so sweet. Like you did a good job because it really does paint them as a three dimensional person because they have reasons.

[Colton Underwood]

That was my whole thing. When I first started talking about being a part of this project, I was like, I want to do this because I want to take care of them. This is more than just. It's deep. Right. There's a lot of things going on for a lot of these people. And I want to tell this story in one an authentic way. But then also I don't. Of course we can have fun and it's silly and there's like throwaway liners, but also there's heart to it. And I think everybody could sort of take something away from these virgins.

[Justin Sylvester]

Yeah.

[Colton Underwood]

Even the gays. Mainly the gays.

[Justin Sylvester]

No, the gays are watching.

[Colton Underwood]

They will.

[Justin Sylvester]

The gays are watching.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm tell you, I was mad when I heard it was 43 minutes because you had originally told me it was 22. This is before I watched it. And then when I sat down, it went by so fast.

[Colton Underwood]

It does.

[Jeff Lewis]

43 minutes was nothing. It moves because I actually it's pretty convinc. And I'm very invested in not all the virgins, but some of the virgins.

[Justin Sylvester]

Now let me ask you, like the new girls who come in after every episode, do you ever put in non virgins? Like just get a bunch of like Love Island.

[Jeff Lewis]

There's a rumor that one of them is kind of a. Like a. That is a lot that lied.

[Justin Sylvester]

Oh, which is a live wire there. There's a live wire in there.

[Jeff Lewis]

And you should. I should have guessed it.

[Justin Sylvester]

Did you see it when she walked in?

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, I'm not gonna. I don't want to get it specifics at all.

[Shane]

But it is something that signed the NDA. I don't know if you heard that.

[Justin Sylvester]

Okay. Okay. I'm not gonna ask.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, but there's twists. There's definitely twists. But let's. Okay. So are they all mid 20s to early 30s?

[Colton Underwood]

I think the range is around from 22 to 36 is. Is the range. And. Yeah, it's just.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, they're. They all have different reasons for being virgins. Right. And I was thinking in my head. I know maybe I said it out loud, Shane, but I'm like, I bet some of these dudes have micro penises. And they're just, you know, they're so ashamed and embarrassed that they don't want to show. Oh, I said it out loud. And then it turns out one of the. One of the girls on the show is like, hey, girls, do you ever think, like, maybe one of these guys like, has like a micro penis? I'm like, that's exactly what I was thinking.

[Colton Underwood]

But then one of them said, I would prefer.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, we gotta get to her. She's my favorite.

[Justin Sylvester]

But hold on.

[Colton Underwood]

She's great.

[Justin Sylvester]

Have you ever been with somebody with a micro penis?

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't think so.

[Justin Sylvester]

They never seem to mind it. Like, they never seem to tell you up front. They never seem to mind it. It's kind of one of those things that's like a surprise. I think when you have it, you don't even. You've disassociated from it.

[Colton Underwood]

I think, well, you have to have some confidence to like, even get to that point.

[Justin Sylvester]

Oh, 1,000%.

[Jeff Lewis]

But I don't know if they. Yeah, I bet one of them has. Colton, do you know something? Does one of them have a micro.

[Colton Underwood]

Oh, I don't know. I can. I obviously cannot speak.

[Jeff Lewis]

You've got cameras everywhere.

[Colton Underwood]

I was hired by Disney to post not examined. No, it's. I don't know. But it was a topic that came up very quickly from the women.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yep.

[Colton Underwood]

And I was thinking similar to you of like, you know, that is. Being a virgin is very layered. But that could be one of the reasons somebody is still a virgin. Yeah, it's a real answer.

[Jeff Lewis]

And I'm sure, like, Ed, you know, if they get nervous, they're worried about keeping it up. And then there's Christians. There are the Christians.

[Colton Underwood]

Right, The Mormons.

[Justin Sylvester]

Where.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. So there's. There's those people.

[Justin Sylvester]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

And then there is. I think one of them is a lesbian.

[Justin Sylvester]

So you're into the show.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm like, too into the show.

[Justin Sylvester]

Now you're knocking OC off and you're taking this on.

[Jeff Lewis]

I mean, it's, it's, it's pretty good. So I think one of them is a lesbian. Because she's the one that. I forgot her name. She was the one that said she didn't like penis, that she was afraid of penis.

[Colton Underwood]

Penises are ugly.

[Jeff Lewis]

Penises are ugly. Scary looking. And I thought, no, lesbian. Yeah. And then I think one or two of them are gay. Mm. Yeah. So I think there's. But there's 21. So they all have different reasons. Now, my favorite Rachel, who is it? Hot as fuck. And when this woman comes in, you're like, how in the picture the hell? Is she a virgin?

[Justin Sylvester]

Yeah. Show me a picture of Rachel.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's a bottle service girl at the clubs. She has a great body, she's really good looking, but she has no service in this vaginismus.

[Justin Sylvester]

What's that?

[Jeff Lewis]

Her vagina cramps up when you try to enter it.

[Justin Sylvester]

Is that a physical thing or mental thing?

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't know. Colton, do you know anything about vagin mismis?

[Colton Underwood]

I learned a lot about vaginismus, thanks for asking, Jim. And I will say this. I am so grateful that I was a co host with Kaitlin Bristow on this because I was not prepared to have a conversation about vaginismus and she was, so that really helped.

[Jeff Lewis]

Look how hot she is.

[Justin Sylvester]

Oh, shut up.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's 30.

[Justin Sylvester]

Oh, she's so hot.

[Shane]

Stunning.

[Colton Underwood]

Yeah.

[Justin Sylvester]

Show me some of the other ones.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now. I. I said if you can't. If she. If you can't enter her vagina. What about. What about anal sex? Did she ever talk about that?

[Colton Underwood]

Not that I'm aware of. All these virgins. Also what I found so interesting is I learned a lot as what?

[Jeff Lewis]

What, what?

[Colton Underwood]

What they count as.

[Justin Sylvester]

Oh, that's not how he said it.

[Jeff Lewis]

I said. I said, I wonder if she's ever thought about anal sex.

[Colton Underwood]

Shane, how did he say it?

[Shane]

I don't know.

[Justin Sylvester]

You know how he said it.

[Shane]

What did he say, Keith?

[Justin Sylvester]

That's why he has that sty.

[Jeff Lewis]

I said, why doesn't she take it in the ass? I was trying to clean it up for the show. Asshole.

[Justin Sylvester]

You clean it up.

[Jeff Lewis]

But maybe she has Asin. Is there such an asinismus?

[Shane]

Oh, definitely.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Colton Underwood]

Isn't that just a top?

[Shane]

I have that sometimes when I'm shy.

[Justin Sylvester]

By the way, I have that sometimes. I'm gonna start using that. No, I can't. I have asinomism.

[Jeff Lewis]

Isn't it asinismus?

[Justin Sylvester]

Yes. Asthma.

[Jeff Lewis]

Please tell me. I mean, well, and the funny thing is that she's talking. The guy she's interested in is this huge black dude. Of course I'm like, what are you doing with him?

[Shane]

Get your isthmus away.

[Jeff Lewis]

Right? There is no fucking way you're gonna be able to take that.

[Justin Sylvester]

That's how it happens. That's how it all happens.

[Jeff Lewis]

She needs to be with one of the micros.

[Colton Underwood]

Well, her. It's. You'll have to watch the other episodes because it's a full on story arc.

[Jeff Lewis]

Really?

[Colton Underwood]

Oh yeah. She's great. I really, really like Rachel. She was fantastic.

[Jeff Lewis]

When can I watch it?

[Colton Underwood]

Like normally without all the bullshit on the 18th.

[Justin Sylvester]

Okay, but does it all come out at one time?

[Colton Underwood]

All comes out at one time.

[Justin Sylvester]

Is that Monday?

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're not doing Monday on Hulu.

[Colton Underwood]

Monday on Hulu.

[Jeff Lewis]

Because I'm not dealing with the login, the non disclosures.

[Colton Underwood]

The plot twists are beautiful. I mean, one of our virgins has only fans. Like, it's. It was really cool to see just all of the different people in their backgrounds.

[Jeff Lewis]

Cut the diplomatic shit. Let's talk trash.

[Justin Sylvester]

He works for Disney.

[Colton Underwood]

Where do you want me to go with this?

[Jeff Lewis]

All right, so there's the one guy. The nerd.

[Colton Underwood]

Yep.

[Jeff Lewis]

Who? He literally says this on camera with a straight face. He says he is. What did he say? He's one of the top 3% best looking people. So he's like a little nerd.

[Colton Underwood]

He's also a comedian, so let's just.

[Justin Sylvester]

Put that out there.

[Colton Underwood]

I think that was humor.

[Jeff Lewis]

Delusion. Was delusion.

[Shane]

He's a sweetie.

[Justin Sylvester]

Oh, Michael's cute.

[Jeff Lewis]

But he does have a big nose. Now there's one guy. There's one guy that's cute that needs a haircut. Yeah, we think with a haircut he could be really cute.

[Justin Sylvester]

Do you guys do. Oh, he's adorable.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, he's cute. His hair is a little off.

[Justin Sylvester]

He looks like David Archuleta.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Justin Sylvester]

Like adorable and like a little bit of.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes. Okay, you're right.

[Justin Sylvester]

You're right. Yeah, yeah, he's cute.

[Colton Underwood]

You know, I would love to, like, just like, be not diplomatic, but, like, I found myself after hosting. This was my first time hosting, and I've been in their position before, so I feel like I'm like the protector parent of them, where I'm like, you guys are young. I've been through this shit too. I lived my life very publicly in my mid-20s. People are gonna have opinions.

[Jeff Lewis]

You have empathy.

[Justin Sylvester]

You have empathy.

[Jeff Lewis]

See, I don't have that.

[Colton Underwood]

And that's also why we love sex guys.

[Justin Sylvester]

Literally.

[Shane]

What about if some of the guys are secretly gay and this is why they're virgins?

[Colton Underwood]

I mean, look, that was.

[Justin Sylvester]

There's one, I think that never happened.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's the one.

[Shane]

There's one that, you know, we were thinking about.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think that one's gay.

[Colton Underwood]

I. I'm here to support.

[Jeff Lewis]

What's his name?

[Colton Underwood]

I don't want to go through your journey.

[Jeff Lewis]

We're going to out him either now or Monday.

[Justin Sylvester]

His name is Darius. Just use Darius.

[Jeff Lewis]

I thought he might be gay, that one. Are there any. Do you get any gay vibes from any other ones?

[Colton Underwood]

I Think I got some vibes of, like, your reason for your virginity is not completely accurate. And I think that, like, that was. I saw myself.

[Justin Sylvester]

You saw yourself in it.

[Colton Underwood]

And that's also why, like, I took this so serious.

[Jeff Lewis]

And, like, you don't want to out him. Well, no.

[Colton Underwood]

And also, I know, like, the years of struggle that I had of, like, trying to figure out my sexuality, one, in a public way, but then also, two, just, like, lying to myself. And, you know, I think I have a lot of empathy, empathy for these people, and I think it's so brave that they went on and did this.

[Justin Sylvester]

Of course.

[Colton Underwood]

Um, you know, I do. You know, I do think there's definitely some fluidity on the cast.

[Jeff Lewis]

Please tell me, do some of these people get laid? Because that. It's going to be such a letdown if nobody has.

[Colton Underwood]

I will say the final, final few episodes, you are going to, like, laugh out loud, cry, and, like, be. I think you're going to be very satisfied with the ending.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you really have asinismus now?

[Justin Sylvester]

I do. Now that I know the name of it, I'm definitely doing it. Sometimes I just don't want to do it. You know what I mean? Like, I don't want to starve myself for eight hours.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you have to get drunk?

[Justin Sylvester]

Not really.

[Colton Underwood]

Starve yourself for eight hours.

[Justin Sylvester]

I know.

[Jeff Lewis]

All right, let's not get time for that.

[Justin Sylvester]

Ain't nobody got time for that. Now.

[Jeff Lewis]

What about season two? Because we do have.

[Colton Underwood]

I have a theory.

[Jeff Lewis]

Few candidates.

[Colton Underwood]

Great. And this is. This is my theory on season two. The cast for season one was excellent. It's only gonna get better because I feel like a lot of virgins backed out or did not want to be part of the show because they didn't fully trust what it was going to be.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Colton Underwood]

I think now that we somewhat have the credibility of, like, look, this is. Of course, it's funny and it's, like, fun, but we're gonna take this really seriously.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're not exploiting that.

[Colton Underwood]

We're not exploiting you.

[Jeff Lewis]

That is.

[Justin Sylvester]

I did notice you're also lucky that you're on Hulu. I say if you're on a reality show that's on a streamer, people binge it for, like, a month or two months, they talk about it, and then they move on.

[Colton Underwood]

Right.

[Justin Sylvester]

When you're stuck on, like, a Bravo or abc where it's like episode after episode, plus reruns after reruns, shit comes back up and people feel like. I think people are more vicious on those shows.

[Jeff Lewis]

About those shows, at least six people I was screaming at the. At the screen, like, why are you a virgin? It just doesn't make sense. But some of them are just straight up weird, too, right? Like, Spectrum y kind of pod. It's kind of love on the spectrum.

[Justin Sylvester]

They were in the pod.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, it's kind of love on the spectrum. A little bit.

[Shane]

A little bit.

[Colton Underwood]

It is. I actually think that's a great comp. It's like a love on the Spectrum meets Bachelor. Like, it's. There is, like. What I love about this too, though, is I think Bachelor, in my opinion, is a little too glossy and bubbly. Where it's like fantasy. Like you're on a date in Singapore, Thailand, Vietnam. It's like, okay, you roll your eyes a little bit. This is more relatable. Where it's like a big deal for them to hold hands. And then there was a first kiss on the show. There was a first date on the show.

[Jeff Lewis]

A first kiss.

[Colton Underwood]

A first kiss.

[Justin Sylvester]

Aw, damn. Definitely not Rachel chasing after that black man. I know.

[Jeff Lewis]

She.

[Justin Sylvester]

I. No, no, that girl does not have vaginitis.

[Colton Underwood]

Vaginismus.

[Jeff Lewis]

You date a couple black men, and you're cured of vaginismus asinismus. It's cured, cure all. Yeah. That's why you sit here.

[Justin Sylvester]

That's why you sit here with a double sty.

[Jeff Lewis]

But she leads with it. Rachel.

[Colton Underwood]

I think she has to like that. And, like, that is her story. Like, that's her story. That's what she has gone through. So she had to lead with it. And I respect it, too, because she sort of let some people know right off of the rip and conversation.

[Justin Sylvester]

I don't know if this might not happen.

[Shane]

No, you have to.

[Colton Underwood]

Nobody could pronounce it the entire time.

[Shane]

The first conversation that they have is, why are you a virgin?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. And she has to explain, I have vaginismus.

[Shane]

I got the isthmus.

[Jeff Lewis]

But that's not hot. Vaginismus is not hot.

[Colton Underwood]

But you know what could be hot is, like, working through that with a partner and growing and having, like, this.

[Jeff Lewis]

It'll take two. I don't have that kind of attention span.

[Colton Underwood]

The one thing.

[Jeff Lewis]

Two hours to get in there.

[Colton Underwood]

Here's the thing that I noticed as the host is it was really cool to see people not have the physical part of a relationship as the crutch. So when, like on Bachelor, for example, when I. When there was silence and it was awkward, I would just go in and kiss.

[Jeff Lewis]

Speaking of lesbians, everybody see Alyssa walk by.

[Justin Sylvester]

You could.

[Colton Underwood]

You could fill that time with, like, a makeout or like a, you know, cuddling. They couldn't do that. So they're. They had to, like, connect on, like, this emotional level, and they had to, you know, they had to give that up.

[Jeff Lewis]

If you have vaginismus, which I'm very obsessed about.

[Justin Sylvester]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

You've got to give a good blowjob.

[Justin Sylvester]

Oh, bro. You gotta have a knee pad in your purse because you're gonna be down there. And don't try to do it real quick, like spend some time.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yep.

[Colton Underwood]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

But hold on. She's gonna get herself some stuff.

[Colton Underwood]

This was a conversation on the show. What is. Does oral sex count as sex?

[Justin Sylvester]

No.

[Colton Underwood]

You're still a virgin if you've.

[Justin Sylvester]

You're still a virgin if you've had oral sex.

[Jeff Lewis]

Right.

[Colton Underwood]

Have you heard of docking and soaking, by the way?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes, we talk about it all the time.

[Colton Underwood]

Okay, and how about docking and soaking while somebody shakes the bed?

[Justin Sylvester]

You are not a virgin.

[Shane]

No, no.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're not a virgin.

[Justin Sylvester]

You're not a virgin.

[Colton Underwood]

Yep.

[Justin Sylvester]

The Mormons lie to everybody.

[Jeff Lewis]

No.

[Colton Underwood]

Including themselves.

[Justin Sylvester]

Exactly.

[Shane]

Have these kids soaked and docked and jumped. And, you know, we brought it up.

[Colton Underwood]

And we brought it up at one point, and they sort of played dumb. So I don't, you know, and I didn't really know exactly what it was and I didn't know how to push. So there's a couple challenges too, where, you know, as the host, too, I was learning new things of terminology, but.

[Jeff Lewis]

You get to see the innocence from a production standpoint.

[Colton Underwood]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

The only criticism I have. Well, there's two. One, I think they give you and your co host, Caitlin, some cheesy lines to say.

[Colton Underwood]

So cheesy.

[Jeff Lewis]

And there's no way to deliver them in a normal way. You name this as a host, radio host. So I would have to rewrite those lines because the writers are not good and those lines are stupid and cheesy. And I'm so sorry they make you say that. That's number one.

[Colton Underwood]

Okay. Season two, you can write my lines.

[Justin Sylvester]

My voiceover.

[Jeff Lewis]

Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Number two, I think you have to realize that you have this wealth of content there and that you've got 21 people with all these stories. You spent a lot of time. I know, not like you, but the producer spent a lot of time on the. The paint thing. So it was kind of interesting where they. They picking partners they want to spend more time with. But the way they did it was creative, but it just kind of dragged out. They had. They had little. They had paint. Right. So they would.

[Colton Underwood]

Episode one. You had to paint your crush. Oh. So everybody's wearing all white and everybody has a dedicated color. And you're lined up. Boys on this side, girls on this side. And you had to. You had your paint and you had to go touch and paint who your crush was to publicly declare who you're vibing with.

[Jeff Lewis]

It went on a bit too long. A bit too long because you had to do that 21 times.

[Justin Sylvester]

So you're 50 minutes in.

[Jeff Lewis]

That went on a bit too long. I felt like that could have been condensed because I was more interested in the interactions between the virgins.

[Justin Sylvester]

So you're into the show.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes.

[Justin Sylvester]

You're gonna be like, it's kind of insane.

[Jeff Lewis]

But now I'm afraid because I've stayed away from Love Island. I've stayed away from Temptation island because I'm afraid that I will not leave the house. And what? And now?

[Colton Underwood]

Well, Love Island's also like 48 episodes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes. With yours it's 10 episodes. I'm convincing. It's good. Yeah.

[Justin Sylvester]

In and out.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Colton Underwood]

In and out.

[Justin Sylvester]

Not like the virgins.

[Colton Underwood]

And it goes by. It goes by quick.

[Jeff Lewis]

But you have like the virgins. You had me at Vaginismus.

[Colton Underwood]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

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[Justin Sylvester]

Damn.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now I want to meet. We have some ideas. I would like to meet with the production company. You can be an EP on it. But I think we should do a companion show. It's about. I'll host it. It's about old horse.

[Colton Underwood]

Oh, brilliant.

[Jeff Lewis]

And Shane came up with a perfect not. Are you my first?

[Colton Underwood]

No.

[Shane]

Are you my last Stop. Can you turn a hoe into a housewife?

[Justin Sylvester]

Housewife.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yep.

[Colton Underwood]

Oh, it's in like it takes all of the magic. It's not quite golden. It's like below, like. Yeah. Talking like.

[Justin Sylvester]

No, no. 30s, 40s.

[Colton Underwood]

40S.

[Shane]

Yeah. It's time to put your party boy lifestyle away.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think we should do 50s, 50s, 60s, 40s, 50s. But we want like, you know, like group scenes. We want drugs. You know, I mean like it's just gonna be.

[Colton Underwood]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's gonna be very realistic.

[Justin Sylvester]

You want ladies who like, like worked in Vegas for a long time.

[Jeff Lewis]

We don't need empathy.

[Colton Underwood]

We don't need a new partner. Disney's out. I just got word so.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh yeah. So maybe not Disney's the right partner. Yeah.

[Shane]

Maybe more of an HBO Max.

[Colton Underwood]

I like it. You know what I like actually? When season two happens, I'm gonna try to find a challenge to bring you guys in on. Wouldn't that be fun?

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm gonna be a sweaty mess. You know how much makeup you're gonna have to put on me? You had to start wearing underwear.

[Colton Underwood]

I did.

[Jeff Lewis]

That sucked. But it's professional.

[Colton Underwood]

Yeah, I know. I sorry, Steven. To blow up your spot. I know you're on the hold right now, but I'm used to.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, let's ask Steven. Line one. Stephen wants. He prefers when you go commando.

[Shane]

How does Steven know this?

[Jeff Lewis]

Steven wants Steve. How did you know that? Colton goes commando.

[Justin Sylvester]

His only fan.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah. So, hey, by the way, Justin, I just wanted to say I also grew up from bro Bridge, and I love your shout out. Sorry that E. News is going away. Colton, I can't wait to see you on Traders. I think you're going to be great. I know how competitive you are, and I'm so happy for you and Jordan, for your son. I'm so grateful for the way that you publicly processed, you know, being gay.

[Jeff Lewis]

All right, let's talk about his dick.

[Colton Underwood]

Yeah, I wanted to.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, I wanted to confront you because on your daddyhood podcast, the one that you specifically talked about sperm, you said that you prefer to go commando. You don't wear underwear. But I keep getting targeted ads of you trying to sell underwear. So I want to know what's the truth. And for the gays in the room, I'm sure they want to know, are you wearing underwear right now?

[Colton Underwood]

I am wearing underwear right now, and I have to tell you why. So I. And yes, I. I wear Tommy John underwear because it's the only one that actually feels like I'm not wearing underwear. I know that sounds weird, but it's comfortable. But here's why. Steven, as somebody who is currently working. I was commando when I was unemployed.

[Justin Sylvester]

And when I wasn't doing anything for a long time.

[Colton Underwood]

And it was great, don't get me wrong. But now when I do these shows, I have to be mic'd. I have a stylist. I have hair and makeup. I have a lot of people in the room with me, and I've had to drop my pants to get mic'd up or to change my pants for a scene. I can't be naked. Like, it's not professional. And it's something you can hear. Well, you totally could have. I made the switch. Now, don't get me wrong. When I'm at home, the boys are free, but when I'm working, I am in underwear.

[Jeff Lewis]

Steven. And we all cleared it. We cleared it all up for you.

[Justin Sylvester]

I can't believe.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, all clear.

[Colton Underwood]

Love you guys.

[Jeff Lewis]

Love you.

[Colton Underwood]

Love you, too, Steven.

[Justin Sylvester]

By the way, Steven's from my town of 5,000 people.

[Colton Underwood]

Wait, that's incredible.

[Justin Sylvester]

The fact that there's another gay, like, identified with me. I'm like, what? Wait, what's going on here?

[Jeff Lewis]

He may not be gay.

[Justin Sylvester]

Well, he's asking about his.

[Shane]

Ask if Colton stole one commando. He's a fan of the Daddyhood podcast.

[Justin Sylvester]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't think that necessarily means he's gay.

[Justin Sylvester]

I'm sorry. You wanted to out a contestant who you saw on a show, but. But not talk about how the guy.

[Shane]

Who just 25 and a virgin. He's gay. But, Stephen, who wants to know about Colton's status of his underwear?

[Jeff Lewis]

What's happening with season two? Are they already looking at it? And they got. Because they have to start casting it, right? Virgins.

[Colton Underwood]

Yeah. You know, I don't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

How long are we going to be without Oscar if he does season two?

[Colton Underwood]

Three weeks, Four weeks.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's not bad.

[Justin Sylvester]

Not bad at all.

[Jeff Lewis]

We can do that.

[Colton Underwood]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

You know why? We got Jared.

[Shane]

Jared will step in.

[Jeff Lewis]

Jared. And we have Jared and Jameson. So Oscar can go for three weeks. How much will he get paid?

[Colton Underwood]

It's free. 99. None of these. No, no, no cast gets paid.

[Jeff Lewis]

What?

[Justin Sylvester]

What?

[Jeff Lewis]

No, no. Oscar's gonna be a standout. He needs to be paid.

[Shane]

He's a star.

[Jeff Lewis]

But we have to coach him. You can't talk about the weird shit you talk about here. Like Star Wars.

[Shane]

He's gonna like that. If they're all Oscar.

[Justin Sylvester]

Oscar winners. You guys know, like, Oscar's bisexual. He's not a virgin.

[Shane]

He has more options than anyone.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'll bet you ten grand there's no way to prove it.

[Justin Sylvester]

Those band people, I've seen them. They get down.

[Jeff Lewis]

Some of them do. Yes. They're horny.

[Justin Sylvester]

That man got down. Yeah. I can tell you right now, we.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do have to coach him before he goes Annie, don't you think?

[Colton Underwood]

For sure. I love how she said that too, though.

[Justin Sylvester]

For sure.

[Colton Underwood]

So hot.

[Justin Sylvester]

By the way, she's playing mahjong on her phone. She has no idea what we're talking about. About.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's like, so true. So I think Oscar's cute. We just have to be careful about what this. The weird. He says.

[Colton Underwood]

Yeah.

[Justin Sylvester]

Sorry. Some of these girls are talking about vagicitis. He can talk about going to Disneyland three times a week.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, he can't. I'd rather talk about Vagus.

[Colton Underwood]

I love that. Vagus has had four names since I've been here.

[Justin Sylvester]

By the way, you would kill it.

[Jeff Lewis]

You would. Such a cute virgin.

[Colton Underwood]

I'm not a fit for the show. I'm not a fit for the show.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think you. I think he's so sweet. I think he would do really well.

[Colton Underwood]

You Would do really well.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think the girls would really like him.

[Shane]

Some of the boys.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know this is weird because he works here, but he's kind of deep.

[Colton Underwood]

Yeah. And, yeah, he's layered. They have to be layered.

[Jeff Lewis]

And he's into the whole connection thing. Like, I think you would kill it on the show. Oscar, call me.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

He's in three weeks.

[Colton Underwood]

Yeah. I've had a lot of virgins sliding into my DMs, asking about season two.

[Jeff Lewis]

Give him my will you give him my instrument.

[Colton Underwood]

I don't have season two for you, but I have something you should look into. It's Jeff Lewis.

[Justin Sylvester]

Damn. That's Hollywood Horror Nights over there. You don't want to go through that haunted house. Oh, my gosh. You're on Survivor at that point. It's a whole different show.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did you just get Lasix? What were you doing?

[Colton Underwood]

No, I had dry eye, which was brutal, by the way. I went misdiagnosed for two years, and I just thought, like, I was. My Lasik was fading. I had it in 2017. So I went into my eye doctor, I said, hey, I know. Like, they mentioned I might need to get a touch up. And they're like, you have 2020 vision. I was like, I can't see at night. What do you mean? I have 2020 vision. Like, when I'm driving at night, all the lights are just, like, blurry. And it's. Cause I had dry eye, and it goes very misdiagnosed. So I started doing laser treatments to help with my tear duct.

[Jeff Lewis]

And, like, I love a hot guy that can't see, by the way.

[Colton Underwood]

Oh, I'm squinting. And by the way, that's where the drives are. Brutal.

[Jeff Lewis]

When you got your eyes fixed, I was like, oh, I'm gonna look so ugly tomorrow. When you got your eyes fixed because you can see clearly now, right?

[Colton Underwood]

Yeah, but it's too late.

[Justin Sylvester]

You already had the baby.

[Colton Underwood]

Wait, are you about to have Lasik?

[Jeff Lewis]

No, I had it, like, a long time ago. It worked, though.

[Shane]

But maybe you need this. Maybe there's something wrong with your tear ducts, and that's why I have the signs.

[Colton Underwood]

Also, by the way, I will send you this video. I had an extraction. They basically take your eyelid and get all of the excess oils. They pop them like pimples, and you get to see a video of your lower eyelid.

[Justin Sylvester]

Like, that's what you have.

[Colton Underwood]

You have to take. You have to do it.

[Jeff Lewis]

I am so into that.

[Colton Underwood]

You come out like little worms. It's. It's incredible.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, really?

[Colton Underwood]

Oh, I'm.

[Jeff Lewis]

Whenever I get a facial, I always ask the can. I'm like, can I see what you get?

[Colton Underwood]

They do this in your eyeball. Like, it's the eyelids.

[Jeff Lewis]

How do I do this? Does it hurt?

[Colton Underwood]

I'll send you my guy in Beverly Hills.

[Jeff Lewis]

Does it hurt?

[Colton Underwood]

No, they numb you. They put numbing drops.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wait, so they're extracting zits in my eyes?

[Colton Underwood]

On your eyelids, like your tear ducts.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are in the video.

[Colton Underwood]

And that's why you have to.

[Jeff Lewis]

But do I have to do, like, the author, the non disclosure and docuSign and all?

[Colton Underwood]

No, no, no, no. You just show up. He's a great doc.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. I want to see a video.

[Justin Sylvester]

You should do it.

[Shane]

You actually live on air.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did you just get back from Aspen?

[Justin Sylvester]

I did.

[Jeff Lewis]

And is it true?

[Shane]

On vacation.

[Justin Sylvester]

I love it.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm gonna quote you.

[Justin Sylvester]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

You say, I like to do. Quote white girl shit. What does that mean?

[Justin Sylvester]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

What is white girl shit?

[Justin Sylvester]

I like to do white girl shit. Just walk around, get a matcha, have a lunch.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, Annie shit.

[Justin Sylvester]

Yeah, Annie shit. Like, if Annie's doing it, I'm doing it. Yeah, White ladies don't really give much energy on vacation besides, like, riding a bike. You know what I mean?

[Jeff Lewis]

They don't want to do shit.

[Justin Sylvester]

They don't want to do shit.

[Colton Underwood]

I think Annie's my new fave here.

[Justin Sylvester]

What?

[Colton Underwood]

In it. You knocked it out of the park. Where did you come from? You are incredible. Dallas, Texas. Texas is doing something right now.

[Justin Sylvester]

She's like that baby doll from the 90s. Like, you press her and she's like, slay.

[Jeff Lewis]

You have no idea.

[Colton Underwood]

You're in over your head with this one.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know, I know. She's one of my favorites.

[Colton Underwood]

Follow me.

[Jeff Lewis]

Colton.

[Colton Underwood]

Give her another month. She's gonna have her own show. This is incredible.

[Jeff Lewis]

So tell me all the white girl shit you did in Aspen.

[Justin Sylvester]

I literally. I just fucking walked around, went to the Farmer's Market, as white ladies do. Yo, good. Outside. Like, I'm chilling. When I go to Aspen, don't ask me to do shit. And if I can't walk there or ride a bike, I'm not coming. Like, I'm chill. I just like to relax because I'm always in a car here and always partying. I really love Aspen.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, my gosh. Lizzie And Philadelphia.

[Colton Underwood]

I just saw this and I'm so intrigued.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hi, Lizzie.

[Caller/Guest]

Hi. I'm not. Not really my name, but I'm gonna pretend that's my name.

[Jeff Lewis]

I understand.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, that happened to me. I tried to have sex with men. Tried so hard. Well, literally. And I. I could. I can't do it. I can't. And why is that, Liz? It won't fit. And I really wanted to. I really. I could have gone to dating sites to have. To be with a man who was impotent. I thought that only way I could be with a man.

[Jeff Lewis]

Because you have vaginism sites for that. You have vaginismus.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes, I do. But, Lizzie, painful.

[Justin Sylvester]

Let me ask you a question, Lizzie. Is it a mental thing or is it a physical thing?

[Caller/Guest]

It's a physical thing. I've tried it. I mean, I. Yeah, I tried it and I. I can't do it. It's very painful. And I think men are very attractive. But I am a lesbian because of it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, because of your vaginismus?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

But here's the thing. Like, soft isn't going to work. You need to. You need a micro probably. You got to start there.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, I need a micro or impetus.

[Jeff Lewis]

Work your way up.

[Caller/Guest]

Do anything. And then we could. Well, I don't even. I don't even think it would work. But I have to tell you, it's really.

[Colton Underwood]

I've learned a little bit about this because after the show, I did my research. There is physical therapy too, like, for it. You could slowly start to, like, work.

[Justin Sylvester]

We ain't got time for that.

[Colton Underwood]

Work on it.

[Justin Sylvester]

She's been a lesbian. How long you've been a lesbian for?

[Caller/Guest]

Well, I'm 65 now, so it's been since. Well, I tried to dabble in it when in my 30s and I can't do it. I did go to PT and they tried to do biofeedback and then they try to do exercises with you. With the woman putting her finger inside of me and. Very bizarre.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's lesbian.

[Caller/Guest]

I am a lesbian.

[Jeff Lewis]

Why did she do, like a misohone? Did you ever try? Very happy.

[Justin Sylvester]

Lizzie, I love that you committed to the coochie. I'm here for it.

[Colton Underwood]

Yes, it is incredible.

[Caller/Guest]

The men are very. I would love to.

[Colton Underwood]

And I'm also, like, really into your alias. Like, this Lizzie fits you. So, like, if you're ever gonna, like, need an alias, like Lizzie, is it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you have a girlfriend, Lizzie?

[Caller/Guest]

I am married to a woman.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, nice. Okay, so you're happily married woman. You're happily married.

[Justin Sylvester]

You're not missing anything.

[Caller/Guest]

Married a woman. So I can't be on the show. Okay. They don't want a 65 year old anyway. But I'm. Thank you. And I hope it's really nice talking to you guys.

[Justin Sylvester]

Oh, wait, Lizzie, we have your wife on line five. Hold a minute. Let me three way her in.

[Jeff Lewis]

Thank you for calling, Lizzie.

[Caller/Guest]

Bye bye.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm so fascinated by this. By the way, there needs to be a documentary on this.

[Shane]

On the Vaginist.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Colton Underwood]

What if we just did a cast full of vaginismus?

[Shane]

What would they do?

[Jeff Lewis]

I mean, it really is the most interesting thing happening on that show right now.

[Colton Underwood]

So far it's a topic.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, then also there's that girl. That's the lesbian. Here's the thing. If you go out with a girl and she's telling me, I don't like penis, I don't like the look. Penis. I don't want to be anywhere near a penis. We're done here. Yeah, we're done.

[Justin Sylvester]

Yeah, get out of there.

[Jeff Lewis]

What are you doing here?

[Colton Underwood]

You love penis.

[Jeff Lewis]

I.

[Colton Underwood]

So you're like, you're. You're.

[Jeff Lewis]

No. You don't want to be with someone who does not like a penis?

[Colton Underwood]

Yeah, I guess.

[Jeff Lewis]

And she's leading with that shit, too.

[Justin Sylvester]

What? She's putting it out there.

[Jeff Lewis]

Putting it out there.

[Justin Sylvester]

At least you put it out there. Like, I would hate to get halfway through and then realize somebody can't take the king.

[Colton Underwood]

There are some pretty penises, though. Too. Like, I've seen some. Some monsters.

[Justin Sylvester]

Nice. Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Colton Underwood]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Katie. And Aspen. She does. Katie's in Aspen. She's doing white girl shit. Hi, Katie. What are you up to today? What's your day look like?

[Caller/Guest]

Well, I just did my white girl Aspen Morning. I got a matcha, I walked around town, went to Poppycocks.

[Justin Sylvester]

Went to Poppycocks for some eggs.

[Caller/Guest]

Justin, can I tell you, we literally did that this morning.

[Justin Sylvester]

I know, bitch, because you're white. That's what every white lady does. You know what you're gonna do later on? What? You're gonna go to the Jerome, have a drink at the J Bar before you go to dinner at Catch Steak or at Matsuhitsu. And then you're gonna walk to Belly up cause there's a live band. But before that, you're gonna go to Kimo Sabe to get a hat. Because Kyle Richards said get a hat. That's what you're doing.

[Jeff Lewis]

Is that what you're doing?

[Caller/Guest]

Katie, get that. Oh, my God. He nailed it.

[Justin Sylvester]

White girl shit. Katy. Wow.

[Jeff Lewis]

You really are down with the white girl shit.

[Justin Sylvester]

I go there like four times a year. I love it. I would get a blowout, but I don't have hair. I might still get one Just because they're doing it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Thank you, Katie. Enjoy your day. It sounds rough.

[Caller/Guest]

That is. That's the. Every day when you live in Aspen. It's just what you do.

[Justin Sylvester]

Yeah. And by the way, you have to get in line for that bake shop at the farmer's market early because you know that big line wraps around right in front of the St. Ambrose. Right.

[Caller/Guest]

You know what I'm talking, Louis Swiss, bitch.

[Justin Sylvester]

Yes, bitch. Yes, bitch.

[Jeff Lewis]

Thank you, Katie. Line for Beth in Ojai. Hi, Beth.

[Caller/Guest]

Hi. I was just thinking that the Vagisquenosis ladies could be hooking up with the micropenis.

[Justin Sylvester]

Wow.

[Jeff Lewis]

Exactly. Well, we have to work on the pronunciation.

[Colton Underwood]

I'm gonna correct you because there's been seven different, like, names now, so. It's so vaginismus. It is tough. It took me a sec, too, but. But, Beth, are you ready for this? You will have the conversations of micropenis come up on. Are you my first? So you'll have to tune in. It is a Conversations that the girls have, and they discuss some of them. It was positioned as. I'm scared. What if they have a micro penis? That's a deal breaker to me. And then someone. Rachel was like, I hope that they have a micro penis.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes.

[Colton Underwood]

Because that's what I need.

[Shane]

So now, whoever she ends up with, we're all gonna know.

[Jeff Lewis]

Because you don't want to have sex with somebody if she's in pain the entire time.

[Justin Sylvester]

But also, Rachel's going after King Kong.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. Why is she going with that big black bro?

[Shane]

You don't. Maybe she's trying to.

[Justin Sylvester]

Like, she's running around with Kimbo slice. That guy does not have a small dick.

[Colton Underwood]

Jeff. There are 10 episodes there. There is a whole long. There's a whole story.

[Justin Sylvester]

We all do it. You know what I mean? Like, we go out of our reach, and then you have to work your way down. It happens.

[Jeff Lewis]

All right.

[Colton Underwood]

I don't know about that.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm having such a great time with you today, Colton, and I hate to bring this down, but are you gonna have more kids?

[Colton Underwood]

Kids, yes. We have two more embryos.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. So you're gonna have more kids.

[Colton Underwood]

I didn't think I'd be as attached to the embryos as I am. And I think that was something that caught me off guard, is you go through this grueling process, and then now after Bishop's here, I'm like, we have two more of you.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know. I know. I kind of get that.

[Colton Underwood]

I have more. And so, like, my big thing that I Kept saying is. My big thing that I kept saying is I don't want to play God in this. So, like, I didn't want to pick. Like, I. Like, I just think there was too many options and become overwhelming. And I was like, oh, there's a reason that we have three.

[Justin Sylvester]

Yeah.

[Colton Underwood]

So now I'm like, because at first.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you thinking having all three?

[Colton Underwood]

Yeah, at first we only wanted two, and then now I'm like, we have three embryos for a reason.

[Jeff Lewis]

You know what?

[Justin Sylvester]

Get to that second kid, though.

[Jeff Lewis]

Honestly. If the show keeps going, you can afford it. Exactly. Yep.

[Justin Sylvester]

But don't wait until you're fucking Alec Baldwin over here trying to have a second baby. I don't even want to hear you talk about a second baby over there.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know. I just figured you. You could. You could race.

[Justin Sylvester]

I can't do it. No, you're man.

[Jeff Lewis]

Cuz everyone's talking about second homes today. Carney's like, I'm looking here. And Colton's like, I'm looking here. And I said, justin, are you looking for a second home? He's like, no, I got one. Your house.

[Justin Sylvester]

By the way. I'm running across from his house, and I see that his car is at the house. So I knock on the door to, like, give him a little bit of. I'm, like, looking to play. He opens the door and he's like, oh, my God. How are you? Come on in. And I'm thinking to myself, oh, this bitch must be on a motherfucking antidepressant or something. Cause she's being way nice. She's like, let me show you around.

[Jeff Lewis]

Being nice.

[Justin Sylvester]

And then all of a sudden, she opens the door and she goes, have you met Ty? And I was like, ha ha. She is the bitch who's so nice when her man's around. She turns into a whole different human being.

[Jeff Lewis]

Right, Shane?

[Justin Sylvester]

I saw every closet, every fixture. I saw where you're putting the infrared.

[Jeff Lewis]

Best behavior.

[Justin Sylvester]

Best fucking behavior. I could have asked that motherfucker for 10 GS that day.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're right.

[Justin Sylvester]

He would have gave it to me.

[Jeff Lewis]

I would have gotten my checkbook out of the car.

[Shane]

Venmo, this is my. He was like, hey, Ty, it's my black friend Justin. He was like, what a part of my community.

[Justin Sylvester]

That's exactly what he was doing.

[Shane]

He just strolls by. He stops through. Yeah, we're really close.

[Justin Sylvester]

Now that you said it. He's like, I'll call you. I'll call you tomorrow. I'm like, you don't even have my fucking number. What are you talking about?

[Jeff Lewis]

You made me look so good.

[Justin Sylvester]

I made you look so damn good. Literally. And Ty was like, yo, what's up, bro? And I'm like, oh, shit. Okay, I get it now. I get it. I get it. That was amazing.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, I'm not. You're. You are. You're very perceptive.

[Justin Sylvester]

You are a whole different bitch. And by the way, I was very busy that day, but I took the 33 minute extended release fucking tour because I've never seen this side of it all.

[Shane]

7,400 square feet, every inch.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, my God, every drawer.

[Colton Underwood]

That's the thing, though. Can I just. Can I just say this about Justin? As someone who's, like, been in your orbit and been friends with you now is like, you are very present and you are very aware in every conversation, which I say that, but not lightly, because in la, there's always somebody when you're in conversation with them, looking over your shoulder, checking who's walking in.

[Justin Sylvester]

Never.

[Colton Underwood]

Not Justin. Like, if you're at a party with him and you are in conversation, it is. He's paying attention to every word you say. He's looking you in the eyes. He's a good friend.

[Justin Sylvester]

Not your eye with that sty.

[Jeff Lewis]

I do. When Ty's around you, he looks at your eyes also.

[Justin Sylvester]

There was like a contractor there and there was some shit fucked up, some plaster. He's like, hey, Daniel. Daniel. Hey, can you put a piece of tape? Actually, can you give me the tape? I'll put it right here. You see this right here? Yeah. I'm like, Daniel's like, wait, what?

[Jeff Lewis]

I've never been so nice to Daniel.

[Justin Sylvester]

You've never been so nice to fucking Daniel in your life. And all it took was another black dude walking through the door.

[Jeff Lewis]

You are calling me out right now because you're right, I was on my best behavior.

[Justin Sylvester]

I was like, so when are you gonna move in? He was like, you know, after we do the driveway. You know, maybe September. But, like, you know, I don't want to get, like, dust in here. I'm like, you've been bitching about moving into this house and today it's okay if they take three weeks to do this?

[Jeff Lewis]

This is your last day here. All right, let's talk about E News then.

[Justin Sylvester]

Yeah, let's talk about it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so. So what's happening?

[Justin Sylvester]

They're evolving. Yeah, they're evolving. They are changing things up. They have some things up their sleeve.

[Jeff Lewis]

Kelty's unraveling. She's been on this show I don't think she's taking it well.

[Justin Sylvester]

You know what? I think she's doing better now. But this was her first. She's never been at E before. This is like my third iteration of evolution. I've survived three of these bitches.

[Jeff Lewis]

I mean, when she was here, I was like, she needs some therapy. She's not taking it well. Now, you guys were nominated for an Emmy.

[Justin Sylvester]

Yeah. I think you're actually gonna win.

[Jeff Lewis]

Who are you gonna thank? I think you wanna thank the people that fired you.

[Justin Sylvester]

No, I'm gonna thank, like, Niecy Nash. I'm gonna be like, I. Thank me for this shit.

[Jeff Lewis]

Thank yourself and thank Kelty.

[Colton Underwood]

You are. You are E. News.

[Justin Sylvester]

I am E News, and I'm so happy. Honestly, the episode that we have going into the Emmys is all Dolly Parton for 35 minutes. We went to her home, we talked to her. It was phenomenal. And no one had done a full Dolly show before. So that's our whole episode. It's gonna be phenomenal.

[Jeff Lewis]

Will Kelty be at the Emmys, or will she be zooming in from the mental hospital?

[Justin Sylvester]

No, she's coming. I'm getting her ass out of Bellevue.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Jeff Lewis Ladd every weekday on SiriusXM as well as the Jeff Lewis Channel, exclusively on the SiriusXM app. Society doesn't want to talk about menopause, and when they do, they don't make it sound very pretty. So Walgreens is helping women change the perception and take back the narrative.

[Colton Underwood]

Because nothing is sexier than being in control.

[Jeff Lewis]

Menopause is confidence. Menopause is power.

[Colton Underwood]

Menopause is hot.

[Jeff Lewis]

Let's frame menopause together. Watch the menopause is hot [e-mail] hot morning. One sausage McMuffin with eggplease. Okay, your total is.

[Justin Sylvester]

Wait. Let's negotiate. How's about you throw in hash browns for a dollar?

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, yes, sir.

[Caller/Guest]

That price is already a dollar.

[Justin Sylvester]

Take it or leave it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Take it, I guess.

[Justin Sylvester]

Buy one, add one for a dollar.

[Jeff Lewis]

On sausage McMuffin with egg hash brown.

[Justin Sylvester]

Rounds, and more with McValue.

[Jeff Lewis]

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[Justin Sylvester]

Limited time only. Valid for item of equal or lesser value.