Cynthia Bailey & Reza Farahan: Lost Luggage & Checking In

Summary

JEFF LEWIS HAS ISSUES
Episode: Cynthia Bailey & Reza Farahan: Lost Luggage & Checking In
Date: March 20, 2026
Host: Jeff Lewis | Guests: Cynthia Bailey, Reza Farahan

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Episode Overview

In this lively, unfiltered episode, Jeff Lewis welcomes back Cynthia Bailey and Reza Farahan to catch up on life, work, mishaps, and memorable moments. The conversation ranges from Cynthia’s ongoing adventures and “big birthdays,” to Reza’s recent online hate, to tales of lost luggage, relationship check-ins, book launches, and, of course, some signature Jeff-isms. The energy is upbeat and irreverent, with plenty of banter and behind-the-scenes peeks into reality TV and celebrity life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Merch Madness and Catch-Up

[01:22 – 03:24]

• Jeff welcomes Cynthia and Reza and spotlights "the pantry list" trail mix.
• Cynthia receives a “Persian delights” gift box; lighthearted ribbing about who gets the best gifts.

2. Cynthia’s Life Updates: Birthdays, Weight Loss & Working in LA

[02:22 – 03:35]

• Cynthia has lost weight, clarifying she hasn’t been in LA much this year.
• Turning 59: "All the birthdays after 55 start to feel big. You just, you know..." – Cynthia [03:10]
• Jeff needles her about calling 59 a milestone, playing up the humor.

3. Reza’s Hater DMs & Skinny Jokes

[03:19 – 04:44]

• Reza shares a shocking hate text: "Fuck you, ugly fat fuck. I hope you die." [03:33]
• The group jokes about stress-eating during TV seasons and the disconnect between haters and their real appearances.
• Annie lightens the mood: "Reza is skinny... Why won’t he eat?" [04:35]

4. Cynthia’s Acting Gig: The Taye Diggs Movie

[04:49 – 05:53, 06:05 – 07:37]

• Cynthia starred in a Taye Diggs movie (Paradise With You)—but didn’t share scenes with him.
• Jokes about whether she played a prostitute: "No, she’s a nice businesswoman." – Cynthia [05:28]
• Shot in Nevis for a week. She gets close to Diggs—just not that close.
• Spoiler(!): "Does he find romance in the end?" "He does. Oh shit. Oop. I’m not supposed to give it away." [06:07]

5. Charity Work and Star Sightings

[06:41 – 07:36]

• Cynthia is in LA for the Women’s Cancer Research Fund event.
• She’s on the committee, did not get paid, and saw notable housewives and celebs: "JLO was there. She presented the award to Kerry Washington." [07:31]

6. The Ultimate Girls Trip & Lost Luggage Saga

[09:35 – 12:02]

• Cynthia, Phaedra, and Sheree lose all their luggage en route to the Berkshires due to a Delta flight switch.
• "We had the same clothes, I was washing out my underwear over the sink the whole two, three days." – Cynthia [10:24]
• The lost-luggage misadventure persists, with Delta offering a measly 15,000 miles.

7. Paid Gigs, More TV, and Travel

[12:09 – 14:17]

• Cynthia announces upcoming Housewives: “Atlanta, Atlanta, Atlanta!” [09:30]
• Jeff recounts his lost luggage at the Kentucky Derby, ending up with women’s underwear from CVS.
• Side banter about hotel Keurig mishaps: "She was washing her underwear in it... I think the hotel’s now suing her." [12:59]

8. Future Trips: Bali, Hawaii, or... Palm Springs?

[14:31 – 17:22]

• Cynthia’s planning a 60th birthday retreat. Jeff and others question Bali's accessibility.
• The group leans toward the simplicity of Hawaii or Palm Springs.
• "Let’s just go to dinner and call it a day!" – Jeff [18:14]

9. Book Launch: “Memoirs of a Geisha” (Reza’s Memoir)

[18:41 – 19:47] | [41:18 – 44:18]

• Reza’s book signing: April 7th at Barnes & Noble at The Grove.
• “I will put my card down and you can drink the night unlimited.” – Reza [19:00]
• Discussion about whether fans need to buy the book to attend; answer: Yes.

10. Family Movements: Cynthia’s Daughter Returns

[20:13 – 21:47]

• Cynthia’s daughter Noelle unexpectedly moved back to Atlanta.
• "I have a lot more peace… I have a tracker on her. I don’t have to look at this stupid tracker anymore." – Cynthia [21:07]
• Jeff jokes about mom’s right to track her 26-year-old.

11. Reza’s Car Trouble & Stem Cell Therapy

[22:26 – 25:13]

• Reza’s husband totals a car hitting a LA pothole.
• Reza discusses stem cell therapy in Colombia for his husband’s neck issues and considers going himself for lingering injuries: "I'm gonna take Cynthia with me." [25:13]

12. Self-Care and Health Checkups

[26:06 – 28:20]

• Reza and Cynthia talk about exclusive wellness scans at Prenuvo, lamenting Reza can’t get in.
• Conversation about what to watch on TV during a scan and whether staff judges patients’ choices.

13. Relationship Check-Ins: Divisive Habits

[28:46 – 31:19]

• Jeff rails against Reza and Adam’s nightly relationship check-ins ("Boner killer for real" – Jeff [28:53]).
• Reza demonstrates the check-in, asking, “Is there something I can do for you tomorrow to make your day better?” [29:08]
• Call-in: Norma, married 51 years, calls it a great idea and tells Jeff, "Just shut up." [32:16]

14. Fans, Croissants, and Workplace Mishaps

[37:47 – 40:46]

• Reading of snarky IG comments about Cynthia’s croissant demands and the drama of the injured croissant lady.
• Banter about fated croissants, café mishaps, and whether the bakery is “cursed.”

15. Closing Highlights: Book, Skincare & Cash

[41:18 – 47:19]

• Book event confirmed—buying the book gets you in.
• Reza touts Gloissima skincare, touts SPF and upward application.
• Cynthia admits to carrying cash “just in case”—and wonders if her $2 bills are rare.

16. How to Buy Merch & Get Discounts

[47:15 – 47:19]

• Reza’s trail mix: thepantrylistofficial.com, use code for 10% chump discount.
• Book signing reminder, logistics, and more book banter.

17. Upcoming Appearances and Farewell

[48:06 – 48:49]

• “Paradise With You” (Cynthia’s movie) coming this year on Lifetime (date TBA).
• Cynthia returns next week with Crystal Minkoff.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Well, have you seen the Valley Persian Style? Maybe he saw a bad season. I came back very, very fat.” – Reza [03:50]
• “Is the luggage going to be on our flight? We cannot not have the luggage. She looked me in the eyes... Well, that was a lie!” – Cynthia [11:18]
• “Middle Easterners carry some heat. Spicy. It’s a known thing.” – Reza [25:49]
• “Does anyone ever put stem cells in their penis?” – Jeff [25:18] (in classic, irreverent style)
• “You check in with him every night like that?” – Jeff [29:42]
  “Like, for 30 sec, for like one minute you do a check in.” – Reza [29:46]
• Caller Norma: “If my husband of 51 years and I did this together, I think it’s a great idea. And Jeff, just shut up.” [32:16]
• “All my cars are white. That’s a girl car.” – Jeff [23:52]
• “Please don’t do a check in that night. Friend’s event.” – Reza [44:55]

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Important Timestamps

• 01:22 – Episode core theme/introductions
• 03:33 – Reza’s shocking hate text
• 05:23 – Jeff’s wild assumption about Cynthia’s movie role
• 07:31 – Star sightings: Kerry Washington, JLO
• 10:24 – Cynthia recounts lost luggage episode
• 13:05 – Hotel Keurig/underwear mishap
• 14:31 – 18:14 – 60th birthday trip debate: Bali vs. Hawaii vs. Palm Springs
• 19:00 – Reza’s book signing party details
• 21:07 – Cynthia on tracking her daughter
• 25:13 – Reza on his husband’s totaled car and Colombian stem cell therapy
• 28:46 – Relationship check-ins demonstration
• 32:16 – Caller Norma weighs in
• 37:47 – Reading mean Instagram comments
• 41:18 – Book signing logistics
• 47:15 – Trail mix discount/merch plug
• 48:06 – Cynthia’s new movie air date unknown
• 48:38 – Cynthia returning next week

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Summary Tone & Takeaway

The episode is playful, teasing, and full of warmth beneath the sarcasm. The hosts share details of their public and private struggles, candidly discuss success and setbacks, and poke fun at the day-to-day absurdities of celebrity life. For fans of Jeff Lewis and company, it hits the sweet spot: drama, deep friendship, a dash of real talk, and laugh-out-loud moments.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[C]

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[C]

comes a super powered adventure. This Wednesday, pack our things. The galaxy gets even bigger.

[B]

He knows that's my bike, right?

[D]

Yes, sir.

[C]

The super Mario Galaxy movie, kdpg, only in theaters Wednesday. Get tickets now.

[E]

When you're Jeff Lewis, the drama never stops.

[D]

They said that I am by far the most difficult talent that they're working with. You know, we could say we don't judge. I judge, and I was judging.

[E]

Money doesn't make you an asshole. But if you're an asshole and with a ton of money, you're gonna be a bigger asshole.

[D]

Why are you looking at me?

[E]

No, I didn't. I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to look in that direction.

[D]

Why are you right at me?

[E]

Jeff Lewis has issues.

[D]

Hey, welcome to Jeff Lewis has issues. In today's episode, Cynthia Bailey and Reza Farahan join the show. We talk about Cynthia's lost luggage, book signings, and check ins with your partner. Good morning and welcome back, Cynthia. Good morning, Reza. We've got a lot of merch here today to promote. We've got the pantry list.

[F]

Do you want to start at the pantry list or.

[B]

The pantry list isn't facing the camera, so I had to put. There you go.

[F]

Let me set up a little.

[B]

Thank you. Yes. There we go.

[E]

Yes.

[D]

Okay, so we have your trail mix, but I didn't realize there's 15 different variations. Right.

[B]

There's so many blends. It's customizable. And Ms. Cynthia Bailey got the Persian delights. The little box. The gift box of Persian delights.

[D]

I did.

[E]

I'm excited.

[D]

Interesting. Because, you know, rez is here almost weekly.

[E]

I know.

[D]

And we never got the Persian delight.

[F]

I never got the Persian delight.

[B]

We just looks so good. We just got looks good.

[D]

Wouldn't know, but it looks really good.

[B]

It's coming. Next time I come. Persian delights all the way around.

[D]

Okay, but today we just have enough for Cynthia.

[E]

Yes, Correct.

[D]

Okay. Cynthia, where have you been? We haven't seen you since November.

[E]

I know. I have not been to LA this year.

[B]

Looking like a snack. By the way, Ms. Cynthia, speaking of snacks, right.

[E]

I'm a hostess over here.

[B]

You are a small snack.

[E]

Lost a little weight. I haven't been to la. I'm still with Amsterdam.

[B]

Prince still around.

[E]

Prince. He is still around. I literally wake up, I'm like, he is still here. He's still here. He was.

[D]

I'm glad to hear that. I'm really glad to hear that. Was gonna be one of my questions today.

[E]

Oh, yeah, he's still here. We're almost two years in. I just celebrated a big birthday. Five nine. The big, big one is next year.

[D]

Five nine's not really a big birthday.

[E]

It's not. I really like.

[D]

It's not a big birthday.

[E]

Well, okay. But it's like the tee up for the big birthday.

[F]

The big birthday. 59.

[E]

I mean, after 55, they all are kind of big because it's like, you know, you're just.

[B]

Girl, you look amazing.

[E]

Thank you.

[B]

Like, amazing.

[E]

Thank you.

[D]

So you're doing Weight Watchers and you're also doing. In conjunction with GLP1s. Is that correct?

[E]

Yes.

[B]

And not getting text messages, being called.

[D]

You got a text? A text. Not even a dm.

[B]

A text.

[E]

Should we read it?

[B]

I got a text message to your person. That's your phone to my personal number. Fuck you, ugly fat fuck. I hope you die. And I was horrified. Cause I was like, am I fat?

[E]

Well, first of all, you're not a fuck. You're not fat and you're not ugly.

[D]

Well, have you seen the Valley Persian Style? What was when there was like maybe the earlier episodes.

[B]

Yes.

[F]

Well, Shaws is on Netflix. Maybe he saw like, want, like a bad season of it. Like, maybe he saw something that's like, oh, maybe.

[B]

Yes. You know when they used to scare me that there wouldn't be another season and I would be stress eating between seasons and coming back very, very fat.

[F]

Whoever that is is obviously not caught up.

[B]

No, right.

[D]

They're not caught up. They didn't see the season finale.

[F]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Of the Valley Persian style.

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

They need to retract that on Peacock now. But Annie made you feel better because she said that the person that wrote that to you is probably also a fat.

[B]

Correct. Which makes you feel better that I'm.

[D]

That he's correct or she's.

[B]

Exactly. Thanks.

[G]

I didn't mean it like that. You're literally so skinny.

[B]

Thank you.

[G]

I was writing notes for Jeff yesterday and all I could think is Reza is Skinny Reza's so thin. Why won't he eat?

[B]

I love.

[E]

Are we gonna respond to him, though?

[D]

No, I don't think so. I think they want.

[E]

They want a response Engagement.

[D]

They want the engagement. They want the response. Well, welcome back, Cynthia Bailey. I heard that you did a movie with Taye Diggs.

[E]

I did. Well, kinda. Okay. It was a movie that he was. Well, no, no, no. It was a Taye Diggs movie, but I didn't have any scenes with Tay.

[D]

Oh, okay. Well, that was kind of a bummer.

[E]

But I'm getting close.

[D]

What did you play? Did you play his mother? Did you play a best friend? What did you play?

[E]

I friend actually played the sister to the lead that actually had scenes with Tay.

[D]

And she's a prostitute.

[E]

No, she's not a prostitute. Why would you think she's a prostitute?

[D]

Oh, I just assumed.

[E]

Weird assumption. No.

[B]

Oh, my God. I love.

[E]

She's a nice. She plays a nice businesswoman. And we shot it in Nevis. And if you guys don't know where that is, cuz I didn't know it is. Yeah, it's like Saint Kitts. And then you take a little boat and it's like super, really, like, nice, actually.

[D]

How long was the shooting?

[E]

I was there for a week.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

And I think they were there for like, probably three weeks.

[D]

So unfortunately, you didn't get to play Tay's love interest.

[E]

I did not.

[D]

And you didn't get to hook up with anybody. I'm in a relationship on camera.

[E]

Oh, on camera. Oh, yes. Okay. So no, I had no kissing scenes or make out scenes on camera.

[D]

It says here an NFL superstar jets off to the Caribbean to reset his life and finds romance.

[E]

Yes.

[D]

Does he find romance in the end?

[E]

He does. Oh, shit. Oop. I'm not supposed to give it away. You guys have to just stay tuned and watch it. It's coming soon in a lifetime.

[D]

We don't need to because he guess he found love and romance.

[B]

Can we just talk about Ms. Cynthia Bailey getting all the jobs and all the checks, all the like, congratulations, because you are out here working.

[D]

She does a lot of shit.

[E]

I love you, Ressa.

[D]

She does a lot of shit for me.

[B]

I'm so impressed.

[D]

No, you don't understand.

[E]

I don't do that anymore.

[D]

So many talks with her about why

[F]

are you here in LA and are you doing okay.

[E]

Why am I here in la? I'm here.

[D]

Let me guess. Charity.

[E]

Well, listen. Okay, well, first of all, I was here for the Women's Cancer Research Fund event that was last Night.

[D]

Did you get paid?

[E]

I did not. And. But it was for a good cause. I'm on the committee and I saw a bunch of people there that you guys know. You know, a bunch of household housewife people. I saw Teddy.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

And Kyle and Kathy Hilton. Who else did I run into? Who else was there? JC who are you talking to? Oh, sorry. He said I'm supposed to be in here. Okay. Just, you know, L.A. sounds like a fun night. It was good. It was really. Oh, wait a minute. Kerry Washington got the Unsung Hero Award. I think that's what it's called. And. Oh, my God. And then JLO was there. She announced something or gave me. Oh, she presented the award to Kerry Washington.

[D]

What was your award?

[E]

I didn't get an award.

[D]

Oh, well, then why'd you go?

[E]

Because I'm on a committee.

[D]

Got it. Got it. Okay. And how much money did you guys raise?

[E]

A lot. Like, it's a good room. I can't remember.

[F]

Good answer.

[D]

Yeah, I can't remember.

[E]

It was like millions.

[C]

Wow.

[D]

Great.

[E]

Yeah, it was good.

[D]

Productive evening.

[E]

Yeah, it was great.

[D]

Now, what else are you here for?

[E]

Okay. The Jeff Lewis Show.

[D]

Yes, of course.

[E]

You guys always come and hang with me.

[D]

More charity.

[E]

And then I'm going to. After I leave here, I have to stop. Okay. Yeah, I actually paid here. It's not. I. You know, I don't know if we get a raise after a certain amount of time.

[G]

I feel like, oh, my God, who

[E]

do I need to talk to? I feel like I get a little bump up. I've been pretty consistent. But you know what's so crazy?

[F]

You've been gone for five months.

[D]

I'm talking about pretty consistent.

[E]

Okay, but, like, seriously, what else did I do? Oh, I'm going to the Essence Hollywood Women's Luncheon carpet after this. I gotta go and have a different. Yeah, the carpet starts at 11, so we gotta, like.

[D]

Wait, what are you doing? What are you changing? What do you want me to.

[E]

I have a whole gown.

[D]

Do you want me to end this show early?

[H]

Stop.

[E]

No, no, no, no. But I didn't want to cancel this because I hadn't seen you guys in, like five months. So I was like, I'm just gonna go there.

[B]

But you know you're on until 11, right?

[D]

No, no, she's only on till 10.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[D]

So did you have two hours?

[B]

No. You had two hours?

[F]

No, I didn't have two hours.

[E]

I only got two hours once.

[D]

Oh, so you came here for the

[E]

free breakfast, basically, and I only ordered. Well, Two croissants.

[D]

Yeah, Nice try. So, Annie. Where's Annie?

[E]

She's posting. Oh, she walked out just in time.

[D]

So you had requested two croissants, and then we knocked it down to one.

[E]

I saw that. I saw that.

[D]

What else did you get? Did you order a little latte over there or something?

[E]

Just a little cappuccino.

[D]

That's fine.

[E]

You know, it's gonna be a long day. And then I take the red eye back. I got a housewife thing. Oh, Housewives is coming on April 4th or 5th, I think.

[B]

Can't wait.

[E]

Atlanta, Atlanta, Atlanta. Housewives is cramming.

[D]

Oh, it's gonna be good.

[B]

Cannot wait.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

What was the issue? So the. What do they call it? What's the other. What's the other show you did? Oh, the Ultimate Girls Trip.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Did I hear a rumor that nobody did you guys. The luggage didn't follow you.

[E]

Oh, my God. So Phaedra, myself, and Sheree, we were all on the same flight together. It was, like, all kind of crazy weather stuff going on.

[D]

From where to where?

[E]

From Atlanta to the Berkshire.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

Which I think we just flew into jfk, and then we had to drive an hour. We'll be driven an hour to the Berkshire?

[D]

Yes.

[E]

So we get there, and it's like a whole thing, like. And we switched flights because I forget which one was like, we should just switch flights or whatever. And I was like, that luggage is not gonna come, you guys. Like, I just felt really uncomfortable about it. What happens? We don't get our luggage, like, the whole time. I literally had the same.

[D]

The whole time you were there the whole time?

[E]

Never got a piece of luggage? I had a kit from Delta with a toothbrush in it and toothpaste and some lotion. So we had the same clothes. I'm washing out my underwear all the time, like, for the whole two, three days.

[D]

So where is the. Where did the luggage go? Back to your home. Like, where did it go?

[E]

Oh, well, my luggage. Actually, one of them never left Atlanta.

[D]

Oh, wow.

[E]

And then the other one went to, like, New York. But, like, it was, like, it was a mess. So we wore, like, our same clothes to the event. Like, we get there, and we're like, everybody's all. And their outfits, and we just looked crazy, but we still had to go.

[D]

Okay, so I do want to understand what happened. So you were booked on a flight?

[E]

Yes.

[D]

You checked in and you checked your luggage?

[E]

Yes.

[B]

Was that flight also with Delta? Were they both Delta flights?

[E]

No, it was all Delta.

[D]

I only fly Delta did the flight get delayed and you moved on to another plane?

[E]

Yes, so the flight got delayed.

[D]

Okay, that's.

[E]

And then we started freaking out because we were like, oh, we should try to get on another plane.

[D]

Of course your luggage isn't gonna make it.

[E]

And I was like. And I asked the lady, and she looked me in the eyes. I said, I. Is the luggage going to be on our flight? We cannot not have the luggage. She was like, no, it automatically, you know, just transferred. Well, that was a lie. Cause it was a lie. Okay. That was a. Look me in my eyes and lie.

[D]

You know what's interesting is that the flight was going to the same place, Right. Just later, did that flight end up getting canceled completely?

[E]

I think it actually may have.

[D]

Yeah. And your luggage.

[E]

So it was good that we.

[D]

So your luggage was there, but we

[E]

just didn't get the luggage until it was time to go to come back.

[D]

That's the worst. That's the worst.

[E]

And then, you know, I was like, oh, I'm gonna definitely get a bunch of miles, and I'm gonna get all kind of stuff for this.

[D]

When I went to the, like, 15,000 miles. I remember when I went to Kentucky Derby, actually gonna see.

[E]

Oh, I'm gonna go this year. Are you going this year?

[D]

I'm not going this year, but I went with Andy.

[E]

I'm going, and I'm actually being paid, thank you very much. It's a paid work job.

[D]

Finally. Finally, you're getting paid for something. Yeah, but they forgot my luggage, too. And it was a. It was a day. It was a good, solid day. Day and a half late. So I had to go to CVS and get underwear. But here's the problem. We talked about this. They were out of men's underwear.

[E]

Oh, shit. So you got women's?

[D]

Yeah, I had to. I couldn't freeball.

[F]

How did you go to another store?

[D]

Because it was late and I had to go to bed, and I had to get up early the next day. It was doing something for NBC, which they did not pay me, which they shouldn't have. I was terrible.

[F]

Wash your underwear in the Keurig.

[D]

That's what I should have done. Yeah. And then got sued by the hotel. Did you hear about that girl? Nasty girl.

[B]

Ew. Nasty.

[E]

Wait, what happened?

[B]

Don't ever make coffee in your room.

[D]

She was washing her underwear in the Keurig machine in the hotel room, and I think the hotel's now suing her.

[E]

Yeah, they should.

[F]

Allegedly.

[E]

Yeah. But I don't use the coffees. I don't I. I watch all the shows.

[D]

I don't either. I don't use the Cure. I don't use those coffee makers. I order just fresh coffee in the morning.

[F]

It's tricky.

[B]

No.

[D]

And just one croissant.

[B]

They don't.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

That's giving season one of shots of Sunset vi. Well, we would order food at the table. I could see one of the production people changing the order for the waitress and, like, canceling 90% of the order had only, like, two, three items ever made it to the table.

[D]

So we went to where we go to Boulevard the other night, and we were filming and, you know. You know Alex Baskin, He's a little tight. I love him, but, you know, he's pretty good with budgets.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

So I was. I ordered the caviar.

[E]

I love that.

[D]

We didn't get crazy.

[F]

No, I got caviar, meatball and tuna tartar.

[D]

That's not a lot.

[B]

Did it make it to the table?

[F]

Sure did.

[D]

Oh, it sure did. They didn't stop it. But then the funny part is, is they closed. They closed out pretty quickly because we had two drinks and then they closed it out. So then we wanted another drink. I had to give them my credit card, which. You know how it works.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I'm like, okay, all right, I get it.

[E]

Yeah. At least you got that caviar. Was it good?

[D]

We got the caviar for free, and I got the first two drinks for free.

[E]

They're just putting it on everything now. Right. Croissants and everything.

[D]

I heard that you had a wonderful idea. I was gonna ask for caviar coming off the success of the Egypt trip.

[E]

Really?

[D]

You have decided to book another curated trip where you host.

[E]

Really? Well, first of all, the Egypt trip was not successful thanks to some person that helped sabotage it. Initials J and L. You sabotaged.

[D]

No one wants to go to Egypt.

[E]

Well, we found it out.

[B]

I mean, hello. Talk to a friend from the Middle east and let them let you know about places that you may want to be taking people to.

[D]

Where's this next trip?

[E]

I read you're going to be involved in this. No. Okay. Valley for my 60th birthday.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[E]

Okay, shoot. Okay. The Big Six Zero Spiritual Retreat. You guys have a year to save your money.

[C]

Okay.

[E]

I'm gonna try to see if that

[D]

company can we ride elephants?

[E]

Yes. And we can wash them.

[B]

Eat, Pray, Love.

[D]

Okay, that was a test, and you failed.

[E]

Oh, wait, we can't. Wait, you can't ride elephants. We can't ride them.

[D]

You'll get. Cancele they hate it, though.

[E]

Okay, take that out. Take that out. It's already out there. Okay, I take it back. Okay, but we can wash them, right?

[B]

Yeah. Feed them and kiss them.

[E]

And kiss them. Yeah, but I think that's a good. Ballet's good, right?

[B]

Yes.

[E]

Because it's like, as you get older, like, you just want to just like. I just want to, like.

[B]

Can't you keep it simple, accessible, make it accessible, Go to Hawaii.

[D]

People just want to go. Because you're going to. Well, and to see your new bikini bod.

[F]

Yeah.

[G]

Okay.

[E]

I just want, like. I think this is gonna be the last big one that I celebrate.

[D]

I feel like you do an easier one that's inexpensive, that everybody.

[B]

You don't need a passport for that.

[D]

We can all put on our credit cards and pay later.

[F]

Can we just go. Go to Palm Springs or something? Like, just do something. Right?

[D]

We can all put it on Oscar's credit card. Yeah, we'll just pay the interest only payments.

[E]

Totally shut down my Bali trip.

[G]

I want to go to Bali.

[D]

You don't. I'm not giving you that kind of time off. See, that's the other thing too.

[E]

Okay. How long is that?

[D]

We needed a long weekend.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

You know, you should talk to. Is Caroline Stanberry. She's doing these retreats. She's doing really well.

[E]

She is.

[D]

It's like Friday, Saturday night, she went. Where did she go? Like, Sequoia mountains.

[F]

Yeah, to the, like, the trees and stayed in.

[E]

Is that long enough, though? Because I wanted us to go for like a week. That's too long.

[D]

Nobody can go for a week.

[E]

Okay, we just did that.

[F]

Tracy just did that for her 50th. She did like 10 days in the UK.

[E]

Okay, that's too long.

[D]

Way too long. Where should she go? It doesn't matter where you go.

[E]

Okay, but like, so what are we doing?

[B]

If I don't need a passport, I'm much more likely to go.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

Much more likely. And Jeff had it right there. Like, if you do some destination that everyone dreams of visiting, like Hawaii. Yeah, if you booked Hawaii, I'm there.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

That's 100 flight for us.

[E]

Okay, so where. Where are the cute Hawaii? Like, I've been to, like, Kona and there's another place that's key.

[D]

It doesn't matter where you go.

[E]

Okay. Nobody cares.

[D]

Just get a good group of people together.

[E]

There's a boat. A boat?

[G]

Yeah.

[F]

Oh, I love a boat.

[E]

Everyone loves, like, a yacht.

[F]

Yeah.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

What do you mean, like a day excursion?

[B]

No, they love to drink On a boat, drunk. It's booze cruise. Yeah, those young.

[D]

Fine.

[G]

The young kids love a booze cruise on a boat.

[E]

Okay, I like where this is going.

[B]

Instagram moments.

[E]

All right, so we're gonna change the trip now to Hawaii. I'll look into Hawaii, but Friday.

[D]

So Hawaii should be like a four day, three night or a.

[E]

We leave them 35 day, four night.

[B]

I think a five day, four night.

[D]

And because that's a lot of interaction with people, though, you're going to be exhausted.

[B]

But you won't be exhausted from that.

[D]

Let's just do it a day trip to Hawaii.

[E]

Okay. All right.

[D]

You know, but it's flying in the morning. I'll leave.

[E]

Why don't we just go to dinner and call it a day?

[B]

I'm coming to Hawaii. If you do a birthday. 60th birthday. I'm coming. A, to support. B, to see you. Thank you.

[E]

I love you.

[B]

Because people are going to. They're going to freak out. No one's going to believe that you are 60. They're going to think you're hustling people for a 60th birthday trip when you're 42.

[D]

I'm calling bullshit because I think the reason you're being so supportive today is because you want us to all go to your book signing on April 7th at Barnes Noble.

[B]

The Grove. Yes. Please come.

[D]

I'm going because it's a Cheesecake factory.

[C]

There it is.

[B]

I'm taking you to dinner afterwards for coming. And Crystal Minkoff is the emcee hosting the event.

[D]

Are you going to cut me off after two drinks like Alec Basket, Alex Baxter?

[B]

No. I will put my card down and you can drink the night unlimited. You can drink the night away. I am not bullshitting. Cynthia Bailey does not look 59. She doesn't look 49.

[D]

That's crazy.

[E]

I love you. I think we should stop talking about my age now. Because now.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Everyone's always like, oh, you shouldn't talk about it. And all I do is talk about it. But I think it's good, right? Representation matters.

[D]

Who are you working with us on this trip?

[E]

Well, I'm gonna try to. I was gonna reach back out to that company and see.

[D]

I wouldn't give me another company. They didn't sell. They didn't sell anything.

[E]

I think it was like, on me, like, they gave me somebody like the Carol.

[D]

I think you talked to Caroline. Where are you staying, by the way, while you're now I'm at the Godfrey.

[E]

They took me back.

[D]

You're back at The Godfrey.

[E]

I'm back.

[D]

What room?

[E]

Shut up. I'm gonna take my room.

[D]

But if anyone wants to speak to you, just call the Godfrey.

[G]

Did they keep your microwave?

[E]

Did they call me? They still have my microwave. Yeah, I asked them. After all this time. Wait, it's still in the storage room.

[D]

You're still using your same name?

[E]

I don't have time to change it, child.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

I always forget.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

Like, nobody really cares that I'm.

[D]

So how many nights do you at the Godfrey in case people want to call?

[E]

I'm checking out.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

All right.

[D]

So today's your last.

[E]

But I'm coming back next week, so.

[D]

Okay, so today's your last chance. I like the Godfrey.

[E]

I love the Godfrey.

[D]

Did you go up to the rooftop?

[E]

I did not make it up there yet.

[D]

Okay. Now, Noelle, I was surprised to hear, has moved back, especially after we did all of that work on that beautiful condo. She has moved back to Atlanta.

[E]

To Atlanta? Yes. She decided to. Just, like, out of nowhere. It was, like, crazy. Like, she came to visit me, and she, like, wouldn't leave. She just kept, like, extending her stay. And I was like, hello. Are you going back to la?

[D]

I liked that little townhouse.

[E]

It was so cute. It was so cute.

[D]

It's a bit of a drive, but once you were there, it was so nice.

[F]

And there's the island. So close.

[D]

I forgot about the island.

[F]

There's Baja Fresh.

[D]

I have so many gift cards. How many gift cards do we have left?

[F]

Oh, probably, like, eight more.

[D]

We gotta go to Porter Ranch just for.

[F]

That was a great, great location.

[D]

It was a great location.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

What invite? Judge Lauren Lake, obviously.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Is she in Porter Ranch?

[D]

Nice house in Porter Ranch. So how do you feel about Noelle going back?

[E]

I love it. You know what? I didn't realize how much I missed her. Like, in all seriousness, as a mom, I think, like, you know, because, like, her dad's on the East Coast, I'm on the east coast, she's out here. Like, if anything happened, God forbid, we're, like, so far away. I mean, I could call you guys to go check on her, I guess, but it just. I have a lot more peace. Like, I. You know, I have a tracker on her. Like, I don't have to look at this stupid tracker anymore. If anything happens, she's, like, right there.

[D]

You had a tracker on her when she was in la?

[E]

Well, I still have the tracker, yeah.

[D]

So you're still tracking your daughter?

[E]

I'm still tracking.

[D]

And how old is she?

[E]

She just turned 26.

[D]

Okay. And you're tracking her. Okay. Yeah, that's appropriate.

[E]

It's not an age thing. I still need to know where.

[D]

You know, how is it that your ex husband. Your ex husband, Noelle's father gets better looking every single year.

[E]

Yeah, he's aging very well.

[D]

God, I don't know.

[E]

And he just celebrated a birthday too. We're both Pisces.

[D]

I heard. Is it true that he is the attribute how good he looks to the pantry list?

[B]

Yeah, obviously.

[E]

And gloeisima, of course. Oh, there he is. Noel.

[D]

Look at this guy. He's like aging in reverse.

[B]

So handsome. And why Noelle is so beautiful. Look at her parents. My goodness, is she acting good.

[D]

Yeah, her father is very good looking.

[E]

She is. She's got some projects coming up.

[B]

Oh my God.

[E]

She is definitely. I can't talk about them. I'll talk about them when I come back. But she's got some stuff right brewing. I'm excited for her. Yeah.

[D]

How did. How did Zeddi. How did Zeddi total. The car.

[E]

Wait, what happened?

[B]

So my husband is coming home. The night that I was on Watch what Happens live with Rachel Zoe, Adam goes to one of our castmates homes to watch the episode of the Valley Persian style and see me on Watch what Happens live on his way home, it's raining and la. The streets are trash. Like the streets need to be repaved in la. He hits a pothole that was so deep, he hit it so hard that the car got frame damage. The 2022 GLB with like 15,000 miles was totaled out.

[D]

No, from a potled.

[B]

I totaled.

[D]

That's not a pothole, that's a sinkhole.

[B]

Yeah, it was a car got frame damage and was totaled out.

[E]

That's crazy. Yeah, but he was okay.

[B]

He was okay. The car. He couldn't drive the car. He couldn't drive it.

[D]

So did you get a new car?

[B]

We got a new car. He got a new car. I'm still driving my mom's second car and have been since 2012. What did he get? He got the new BMW X3.

[D]

Please don't tell me. Did he get in white?

[B]

White? He's not.

[E]

What's wrong with white?

[B]

He's not.

[D]

It's gay.

[E]

All my cars are white. Like, I only grab white.

[B]

No, it's okay.

[D]

It's okay.

[B]

You have a beautiful.

[D]

Dudes can't drive.

[E]

That's white.

[D]

That's white now, but it's okay. You're a girl. That's a girl car.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

White is a girl car.

[B]

No, Persians don't get white cars.

[D]

Okay, so you got black.

[B]

It's a dark, silvery charcoal color.

[F]

Pretty.

[D]

I like those cars. They're pretty. I hope he doesn't wreck that one. What about his back, though? Because he has neck issues and back issues.

[B]

He went to Colombia, though, and he got stem cell therapy in his neck.

[F]

How was it?

[D]

How did it go?

[B]

It went so well. He's feeling like a new person, so potentially. I'm gonna go to Colombia to get this.

[E]

I wanna go with you. I need it for my sixth.

[D]

Where are you gonna put it?

[E]

Let's go.

[F]

For your 60th.

[B]

I got into a really bad car accident and slipped three discs.

[D]

Was Zeti driving?

[B]

Zeddi was not driving. I got in rear ended on the 134 two years ago, and I'm still. No settlement, no nothing. It's still ongoing.

[D]

You never know until after, like, days after, weeks after, when you start to feel it.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

So you slipped three discs?

[B]

Three discs.

[D]

Holy shit. What did you do? I mean, what have you done for it?

[B]

I've been. I got two epidurals. I've had, like. It was.

[D]

Do they work, the epidurals?

[B]

I was not mobile. I was literally in such pain.

[D]

I have a really good pain management doctor. What's his name again? Leilani.

[F]

Yeah. Institute.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. He got me out of pain. So if you ever need somebody, let me know.

[B]

Thank you. So I might be going to Colombia. I'm gonna take Cynthia with me.

[E]

I want to get my knees, like.

[D]

Does anyone ever put stem cells in their penis?

[B]

I mean, I don't need it.

[D]

No, I know you don't, but I'm just asking for a friend.

[B]

I don't. I don't know. There's a lady from Te on the Gram and she posted a picture of me from the Valley, Persian style. Zoomed in on my package area. Yeah. And she was pointing out.

[D]

I think I know that scene.

[B]

Yeah, she was pointing it out. She's like, reza. I had no idea.

[D]

Yeah, I think we were all surprised. I wasn't surprised, but, yes, I know what scene you're talking about.

[B]

Middle Easterners carry some heat. Spicy. It's a known thing.

[D]

Okay, so the stem cells. Ali Landry just got back, I think, from Columbia also.

[B]

Right.

[E]

Oh, I know her.

[F]

I'm gonna have her on the show so we can talk about it.

[D]

But I think she did it for more like cosmetic. Like skin and, you know, that kind of thing.

[E]

Okay. I like where this is going. So for my birthday, maybe I should do a stem cell Like. Cause all my friends are mostly, like, older. Well, some of y' all are young. But we can all, like, go to Korea, get a discount.

[B]

It's not cheap.

[D]

No, it's.

[E]

Oh, if you're older, you get a discount.

[B]

No, if you do a group thing, you get a discount.

[F]

It's your birthday and we'll get it.

[D]

That's actually a great retreat. We take chomps to Colombia.

[B]

No, no, no.

[E]

I'm call you. I think we're getting, like. And I need to do prenup pre nouveau again.

[D]

Yes, you do. When?

[B]

Again?

[E]

I only. I did, like, two years ago. When you.

[B]

Stop it.

[E]

Stop it.

[B]

Why can't I get it?

[D]

Try for five years.

[B]

They hate me.

[E]

They won't let you do it.

[B]

Why did they won't let me do it?

[E]

Why? You told me about it. You're the reason I did.

[D]

They wanted you.

[F]

Of course. Come in, roll out the red carpet.

[D]

We've tried. We pitch you, and they just. They don't respond. But then when we pitch Cynthia, they're, like, got back right away and honestly think they're the ones that probably texted you. They're, like, so sick of us asking.

[B]

Please, pre nouveau. If you're listening. I just want to come in.

[E]

I need to go back and I want to come.

[D]

I need to go back for the third time, Shane.

[E]

Okay, how often should we do it? Like, seriously.

[D]

Once a year. I think once a year. I mean, I think once a year. Once, two years. Once a year.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

Just because they found something last time. It was just a little disc thing, but still, like, I didn't know. Yeah, no, it was the time before.

[F]

Yeah. First time.

[D]

But then they scanned my brain the last time, and that was scary for them. Yeah, it took a long time for them to find it. I wonder if they judge us by what we watch on the tv. Oh, did you watch. Watch TV or a movie? Oh, you probably watched yourself.

[E]

I had the option to shut up. I had the option. I can't remember what I watched. I think I did turn it on, but it was like, you know, it wasn't horrible. Like, you know what? I closed my eyes because I could be a little. I can be a little claustrophobic. So I just wanted.

[D]

But it's so. It's big in there.

[E]

I know.

[D]

It's like a big capsule, but it's

[E]

like one of those things you, like, once you're in there and you can't move, and they're like, don't. You know, you have to be very still? So I just kind of felt like, oh, I want to get out now. So I just slept.

[D]

But I wonder if they judge you because I thought about it. Should I look smart and like ask them for a documentary?

[B]

Obviously they judge you.

[D]

But I was like, okay, episode four of Wednesday, please.

[B]

Yeah, for sure they judge you.

[D]

I, I, you think so? Oh, you wouldn't know though.

[B]

Thanks.

[E]

You don't get the vibe? No, they're gonna call you. They're gonna call you.

[C]

I don't think.

[B]

Oh God, this is so crazy.

[D]

Do you still do those like obnoxious check ins with your husband every night?

[B]

Yes.

[D]

God, that's a boner killer for real.

[B]

It is not a boner killer.

[D]

It is.

[B]

It is not.

[E]

Wait, what are you saying? Like, what's a husband check in?

[D]

Listen to this bullshit.

[B]

Okay, so give me your hands.

[D]

Okay, so this is the shit they do every night.

[B]

How are you feeling?

[E]

I'm feeling amazing.

[B]

Is there something that you need from me tomorrow? Is there anything I can do for you tomorrow to make your day better?

[E]

I love that question.

[D]

This is ridiculous.

[E]

For now I can't think of anything, but I'll let you know. But thank you. I feel very seen and very hurt with you asking me that.

[B]

Love you. And that's it.

[D]

I feel like it's a girl thing.

[F]

Are doing it tonight.

[E]

It's connection.

[I]

So sweet.

[E]

Thank you, Jameson.

[D]

I'd be like, I'm never having sex with you again.

[E]

You're just not emotionally available.

[B]

That's your problem.

[E]

Like you don't, you don't like people to touch you.

[D]

Not like that. You check in with him every night like that.

[B]

Like for 30 sec, for like one minute you do a check in.

[D]

You know what concerns me is that you're opening the door and then it's now he's gonna be like, yes, actually what I've been missing. What I mean. And then it's 20 minutes later, not at all because. And now I'm too tired to watch what I want to watch on tv.

[B]

You're doing it nightly, so there's no buildup. That's the whole point of it.

[D]

It's guaranteed. That shit's gonna backfire on you.

[B]

Says I've been married for 10 years. It'll be 11 years. And we've been together for 15. It'll be 16 in a minute.

[D]

What time does this happen? Before dinner, after dinner, before drinks.

[B]

It's in bed. We've done our scrolling, we've watched the tv. We're ready to wrap it up, wind down and sleep. I love that it's not interfering with anything.

[E]

And I like that. It's quick. It's not even long.

[B]

It's not long.

[E]

Less than, like.

[D]

It's not the kind of check in I to want.

[B]

What kind of check in do you want?

[D]

It's gonna involve hands or your mouth. I don't. I don't want to talk about feelings. I don't care. Get over it. Most of the time, this is stuff you can't solve for him.

[B]

Solve what?

[D]

I'm telling you, I'm. There's. There hasn't been a night where he's like, I have a problem with you.

[F]

What kinds of things does he bring up at that time?

[B]

Can you do this? Can you do that? Usually I ask that I can take care of. It's something that he needs me to be involved with or a task he wants me to take care of. And when he says it to me in that moment, I'm like, oh, my God, a hundred percent.

[D]

Am I the only person that doesn't want this?

[G]

Well, my ex used to do it, and then he would gaslight me into thinking whatever I requested wasn't a problem. So this could be turning toxic.

[I]

Reza, I think. I think it's beautiful.

[B]

She called me a fat fuck earlier.

[E]

No, what's toxic is me. This space is toxic. This show is Tom.

[I]

Reza, I. I think it's beautiful and healthy and somebody love ugly, unhealthy people.

[B]

Thank you.

[F]

Ugly.

[E]

I think if it's ugly, it's interesting that the positive people receive this and

[G]

the ones that are positive saying to be careful.

[E]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Tell your therapist if it involved a blue cheese stuffed olive, you'd be all about it, perhaps.

[E]

Which you can incorporate very easily into that review.

[D]

Oh, Norma, line two's upset.

[E]

Uh. Oh.

[D]

Hi, Norma.

[H]

Hi. Hello, Jeff. First of all, Reza, I absolutely love you.

[B]

I love you back, Norma.

[H]

If my husband of 51 years, we did this together, I think it's a great idea. And Jeff, just shut up.

[E]

Thank you.

[H]

I have one other thing I want to say. Yes, Jeff, you are the greatest father of all times.

[D]

Thank you.

[H]

My father would have been 50% of you. It would have been wonderful. I'm sorry. I just think you're such a great dad and keep it up.

[D]

I'm trying to write. I'm trying to right my wrongs.

[B]

Thank you, Norm.

[F]

With that kid, you need to check in with her tonight and be like, monroe, what can you.

[E]

And Monroe.

[D]

She would tell me to shut up. She would tell me to shut up.

[B]

There you go. If. If she had a request. How would you receive a request if you said to her, I would do that for her. Boom. Bo.

[D]

Only person boom. And maybe Jameson.

[I]

Well, we have Phoenix. We'll be checking in.

[D]

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[G]

Yes.

[D]

When will it. I'm. I'm guessing you probably have no idea.

[E]

I don't know. When it comes out. You always ask me questions. I don't know that answer.

[D]

Well, you know why I'm trying to do it. I'm trying to promote your stuff. But you don't have any of the information.

[F]

It's trick question. Stop trying to stump her.

[B]

I need to be a hater for a minute. Can I be a hater? A real big hater? Can I read a foul comment from Instagram?

[D]

Please? You know I live for that.

[B]

Oh my God. Lauren. Patricia8219 said how the Full name. How.

[D]

How long did Cynthia, Lauren, Patricia. What?

[E]

No. Oh, it's about me.

[D]

Lauren, Patricia. What?

[I]

Don't. Please don't.

[D]

I'm sorry. If you write Cynthia.

[B]

Wait.

[E]

Wait a minute.

[B]

How long did Cynthia bitch about the croissants not being available?

[E]

Wait, what? I didn't.

[D]

The croissants.

[E]

Stop. Okay?

[F]

You're synonymous with croissants.

[E]

Okay?

[B]

Why are people so invested in the croissants?

[E]

It was a whole thing. And now the lady broke her ankle. That makes them. It's a whole thing.

[F]

She was so talented.

[D]

We're calling bullshit on that. I think she's had plenty of time to heal.

[G]

There's also a new manager over there. It's a whole situation

[E]

is if she's older, you know, it takes longer.

[B]

She could have osteoporosis.

[G]

People have been, like, getting let go left and right. They're outsourcing all the stuff.

[D]

Does SiriusXM own it?

[G]

Probably.

[D]

So the lady that makes croissants.

[G]

Yes.

[D]

How long has she been out?

[G]

Like a month. But the girl that got in the motorcycle accident, she is back to making the cappuccinos.

[E]

We need to hook her up with the stem cell.

[D]

How's she doing? She had some major injuries.

[G]

Major. She can't lift anything. All she can do is pull espresso. She shots, she's slaying.

[E]

But wait. It's her ankle. There's nothing wrong with her arms and hands. Like, it's. That's her ankle.

[G]

To get back in the kitchen.

[D]

There was a girl that got in a motorcycle accident.

[G]

Oh.

[E]

Oh, shoot.

[D]

And then there was the other woman that broke her ankle.

[E]

These are all the same people at the bakery that. Yeah.

[G]

And the chef died years ago.

[B]

They're accident pro.

[F]

Remember that?

[B]

Remember?

[G]

Died. And they had to, like, revamp the whole menu.

[E]

She died.

[B]

Girl.

[F]

Make a documentary girl.

[D]

Or a guy.

[G]

I think it was a man.

[D]

How do you die? I think a heart attack.

[G]

I think a heart attack.

[F]

I remember that one.

[E]

That place is cursed. I'm not gonna eat there anymore. This is crazy.

[D]

I know.

[E]

Don't eat it. It's a sign from God.

[D]

But they're now outsourcing their croissants because croissant lady has been out on medical leave.

[E]

Yes.

[D]

But I think she's milking it. She should have been back by now.

[G]

I agree. Like one of those little scooters you put your knee on.

[D]

Of course. Absolutely.

[E]

You guys have no sympathy.

[G]

It's been a while.

[E]

It's an ankle.

[D]

I bet she's sitting home right now just watching Netflix.

[F]

Watching Price is Right.

[E]

She'd probably lose her job eating a croissant watching Netflix.

[G]

Then we're fucked.

[F]

She's making herself croissants at home while they're pissed.

[E]

We should get her a house. Better not be over there.

[D]

Was it a workplace injury? Did she slip at work?

[G]

Oh, I'll do some research tomorrow. I have no idea. Okay, that's a good question.

[C]

I hope it wasn't.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. So where did you get her croissant today then, Andy?

[E]

Tartin Outsourced place.

[D]

Oh, no way to go another place.

[A]

Outsourced ones are terrible.

[G]

I would never do that to you. I went to another place to get your croissant.

[F]

Tartine is very good. They have high quality.

[D]

Well, you're not here. Who feeds you?

[E]

I only. I mean, it's breakfast. I have a busy day. I got like a whole carpet. Like. We gotta wrap this thing up in a minute, by the way. I gotta go.

[D]

Okay, you got 15 minutes. Can you hang out? 15 more minutes.

[E]

I have a heart out though. I gotta leave right up it tan.

[F]

We know.

[D]

All right, we're not holding you back now. All right, so we do need to get people signed up for your.

[E]

For the book signing.

[D]

Signing?

[B]

Yes, on April 7th. Barnes and Noble.

[E]

Barnes and Noble at the Grove.

[B]

It's a Tuesday night, 7:00pm okay. Barnes and Noble at the Grove. Memoirs of a Geisha. Pre. Order it now or if you're coming to the event. Buying the book gets you into the event.

[E]

So it's April 7th.

[D]

Do I have to buy the book when I get there or before that?

[B]

I don't know yet. Cause this all went down yesterday.

[A]

Lala's.

[E]

I went.

[G]

And you could buy the book when you got there.

[E]

Yes, you should do that. You should give them that option.

[B]

You totally can buy the book when you got there.

[D]

Okay, but can I ask you, since you already gave me a signed book.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

When I go, do I have to buy another book to get in?

[B]

You are gonna be on a VIP list.

[D]

So I have to buy five books

[B]

and you're gonna have to pay for drinks after as well.

[D]

No, no, no.

[E]

You have to promote it.

[D]

Drinks before. Cause it's a school night.

[B]

Yeah, we should get.

[D]

You should not.

[B]

Why? I don't even do.

[D]

Hello.

[B]

I've cut alcohol out since August 8th. Your man has been. I'm always hungry. I'm so hungry. I'm always so hungry. But I look good, so I don't care.

[I]

It hit louder than I thought it

[F]

was going to be.

[E]

But Alcohol is more calories than actual food. You look so like snatch because you stop drinking.

[F]

So I'm going to make a 5:30 reservation.

[D]

I think that's perfect. Can you do it right now? And then remember we tried to do it for 12 people and they split us up with two tables.

[F]

I had to make a table for six and then key made one for six.

[D]

Do you think we should do two reservations then? Because I feel like there's going to be at least 12 chumps there.

[F]

Yeah. Key, can you make one?

[D]

And if there's other chumps that want to go, we'll be at Cheesecake Factory at 5:30 after Grove. Right. And then you have to buy a book.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

And then you can enter at seven Barnes and Noble. How many people can you accommodate there?

[B]

Hundreds. Oh good. Okay. Yes. Because I'm scared no one's going to show up and I'm going to look like an idiot over there smiling for three people on the. The audience that I'm related to. So to avoid that, please come and support your bitch.

[E]

Yes.

[D]

I normally wouldn't go, but you support me in everything I do.

[E]

True.

[D]

And it happens to be pretty close to my house.

[B]

Thank you.

[D]

So I will be there. And there's a Cheesecake Factory. So it's like a win, win, win, win, win.

[B]

Amazing.

[E]

Do you have to. Do you have to buy a book to get into the event?

[B]

Yes, if you want to come to the event.

[E]

No, I mean, I'm sure you're still going to buy one.

[D]

But talked about this.

[E]

Okay. It's early.

[D]

It's not that early.

[E]

I just wanted to make sure. Like somebody else could have been confused. Okay. So you have to be.

[D]

No.

[B]

Is confused by you. Thank you. Cynthia clarified it.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

But if you have to, we obviously have to make some sort of reservation. Where do we go?

[B]

Go to barnes and noble.com where there's

[D]

a lot of them. Just made that up.

[B]

The Grove. The Barnes and Noble at the show? Yes.

[D]

We look it up. Let's sign up right now. I'm gonna sign up right now. Barnesandnoble.com.

[E]

but do we have to make a reservation?

[B]

No, just come. You don't need a reservation.

[E]

No, I'm saying because.

[B]

No come.

[D]

I think we have to make a. I think it's a good idea to make reservation.

[B]

You don't need a reservation. You can come that day. I'm gonna be out on the Grove, like parking lot soliciting people.

[D]

The off ramp at La cienica and the 10.

[F]

Busy.

[D]

It is so busy. I remember it yesterday. It was just backed up. That's where you should be passing out flyers.

[B]

I'm gonna pass out flyers. I'm gonna be circling the block. I'm gonna go to the Air One across the street. I'm gonna do whatever to fill those seats.

[D]

I don't think you need to. I think through the radio show we should be able to get enough jumps there. It's a Tuesday night. No one wants to be on their own or their partners doing check ins.

[B]

Please don't do a check in that night Friends event.

[I]

So if you Google the Grove, Barnes and Noble, they have events. I don't see Rez's event posted yet. But they're all the other events.

[D]

Oh, God, they canceled it.

[B]

No, it just happened.

[F]

I'm even saying

[B]

they haven't even put. I haven't even signed the contract. This just happened last night. We literally.

[E]

Okay, so we just promoted earlier.

[D]

You know how many DMs.

[B]

Stop.

[D]

Shane and I are gonna get now?

[B]

Stop.

[E]

We went. We went on the bar and said,

[D]

no, we can't find it. Thanks a lot.

[B]

I'm gonna call them and beg them to put it on.

[I]

Alternatively, you can go on BN events. Grove on Instagram. That's the Barnes and Noble. The Grove Instagram. Please don't ask us.

[D]

They're going to ask us.

[B]

I promise you it's happening.

[E]

Who's organizing this?

[F]

No one.

[B]

My publisher. And Barnes and Noble.

[D]

It sounds like it hasn't even been organized yet.

[E]

I know. It needs to be on the website yesterday.

[D]

What's Jameson's Instagram? In case anyone has questions.

[E]

No, no, no, no, no.

[I]

It's canceled. I gave it up for lunch.

[D]

What is that?

[I]

It's over.

[E]

No, it's.

[I]

Hey, don't send me a message, please. I love you. Don't.

[D]

If anyone has questions. Yeah, hey.

[G]

Jameson Scala, slide in Reza's DMs.

[F]

It's Lauren Peters, 812.

[B]

Slide into my DMs.

[E]

This is a mess.

[B]

I'll help you out. Go to my. You guys. Can we talk about my skin though? Because I've been doing the gloissima.

[E]

Hello, somebody.

[B]

And I've been hitting the neck.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

And I do my spf. I do the cream and I do the oil. And I do it in an upward motion. Upward?

[E]

Yes. The lie detector determines that was a lie.

[D]

You carry cash in your bag?

[E]

I do.

[D]

And the reason is in case of an alien invasion.

[E]

That was a joke. But I do carry a lot of cash.

[B]

Well, not a lot of cash.

[D]

You get Robbed?

[B]

What are you trying to do?

[E]

No.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

It's not a lot of cash.

[B]

Come rob me.

[E]

But you know how, like, people don't carry cash anymore? I'm old school and I just always have cash on me just in case.

[D]

Like, how much? Five. Hundred. Thousand?

[E]

No.

[D]

Couple hundred. Okay.

[E]

Yeah. And I just need to find out, like, someone gave me, like, a bunch of two dollar bills, and this is so random, but, like, then my sister said I shouldn't spend them because they're, like, worth money, so now I'm scared to spend them. So, like, are they worth anything? Are they just actually $2?

[F]

They're. They're very rare, so people, like, hold on to them.

[E]

So should I save them? No, I would.

[D]

If people want to buy your trail mix, which comes in, like, 15 different variations.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

Where do people go? Oh, the pantry list.

[B]

Thepantrylistofficial.com and do chumps get a discount? You get 10% off. Yes.

[D]

So that's good. So you saved, like, $1.50, right? Isn't it like, 15 bucks?

[E]

Do you guys take cash?

[B]

If you come to my door, I'll take that.

[D]

Oh, I have a really important question. Do you have to buy a book to get in on April 7th?

[B]

Yes. Come to Barnes and Noble at the Grove. Buy a book, hang out with me and the chumps.

[D]

Fine. And then for more information, angie, go to barnesandno.com.

[E]

no, it's not up.

[G]

Hey, Jameson. Scarlet. Instagram DM Him. Any questions?

[E]

Don't dare.

[I]

You go to.

[B]

You're not on the mic. You're not on the mic.

[I]

Oh, dang.

[B]

And we're all.

[D]

We're all very excited to see paradise with you. And when again does it come out?

[E]

I don't know. I know. They didn't tell me yet. They just announced.

[D]

Oh. So do we have any idea. Is it next month? It's gonna be this year.

[B]

Oh, great.

[D]

Oh, good. Okay, so we've narrowed it so it's 2026.

[E]

I feel like it might. Okay, I'm just gonna say don't fall. I think just keep time on.

[F]

You'll see it eventually.

[E]

I'll post about it.

[D]

Okay, sure. Oh, and then you're coming back next week with. With Crystal.

[E]

I am.

[D]

I love you too.

[E]

Wait, am I coming back on here?

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Did I book a date to come back on here?

[F]

Yeah, on Wednesday we text.

[D]

Are you joking? We already confirmed all that last night.

[F]

We were texting.

[E]

Oh, I thought that was just for today. I'm coming back next week. Yes, please. Okay. All right.

[D]

Thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Jeff Lewis Live every weekday on SiriusXM as well as the Jeff Lewis Channel, exclusively on the SiriusXM app.

[C]

This episode is brought to you by Marvel Television's Born Again Season 2, now streaming on Disney. Charlie Cox and Vincent D' Onofrio are back, and Krysten Ritter makes her highly anticipated return as Jessica Jones in an all new season. As Mayor Fisk tightens his grip on New York City, he marks Daredevil as his top target. Matt Murdock fights from the shadows, hoping to bring down Fisk's corrupt empire and reclaim his city. Don't miss born Again Season 2, now streaming only on Disney.

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