Des Bishop & Nischelle Turner: Cheaters & Quick Proposals

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Des Bishop & Nischelle Turner: Cheaters & Quick Proposals"

Jeff Lewis Has Issues – July 24, 2026
Guests: Dez Bishop (comedian, Hulu’s "Bridge and Tunnel") & Nischelle Turner (Entertainment Tonight)

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into Jeff Lewis’s signature blend of irreverent banter, relationship overshares, and celebrity gossip. Comedian Dez Bishop and TV host Nischelle Turner join Jeff to unpack everything from LA hotel hookup hotspots, awkward dating territory, Emmy predictions, and Dez’s whirlwind international love story and fast proposal. Expect Jeff’s no-filter commentary, the guests’ candid stories, and plenty of laugh-out-loud moments on love and life in the public eye.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Self-Driving Cars & LA Life (01:59–03:40; 35:13–37:01)

• Dez shares his first Waymo (autonomous car) experience. The group jokes about the novelty and potential dangers.
  • “It's a death trap… You haven't done any research? You don't know about all the accidents?” – Jeff (02:10)
• Shane mentions using Waymo for work cameos; Jeff needles Dez about not knowing LA’s quirks vs. New York.
• Later, they circle back to Waymo sightings in LA and the oddity of seeing them on the freeway with safety drivers (35:13–36:12).
  • “They must be testing on the freeway... It says Waymo Engineering.” – Dez (35:28)

2. LA Hotels, Hookup Culture, and Cheaters (03:44–04:19)

• Jeff and Dez swap notes on LA’s Edition and 1 Hotel scenes.
  • “One Hotel…it’s a big hookup spot. Lot of cheaters.” – Jeff (03:56)
• Dez jokes that his wife recommended the bar, triggering a running gag about marital fidelity.

3. Nischelle’s Dating Life & Relationship Etiquette (04:20–14:45; 44:41–46:43)

• Nischelle recounts a “day date” with a mystery man from the Bay Area (likely age 62), including a playful but awkward massage of her injury while she falls asleep mid-date.
  • “He started massaging the bone and then you reciprocated.” – Jeff (05:23)
  • “I fell asleep...Is that bad or is that a sign I feel comfortable with him?” – Nischelle (06:21)
• The group picks apart etiquette: Should there have been sex by the third date? Did she inadvertently friend-zone him? (06:44–08:00; 44:59–46:43)
  • “You went on three dates...you talked about your f***ing bone contusion and you fell asleep. It’s over.” – Jeff (09:43)
• “Hand job minimum,” Dez prescribes for reciprocity (46:01).

4. Gender Roles, “Passenger Princess,” and Dating Signals (11:03–13:02)

• Nischelle analyzes whether her date’s “door opening” signals good manners or red flags.
  • “I’m just looking too far. He gives me the business sometimes, and I do like that.” – Nischelle (12:55)
• The group notes how over-thinking kills the fun, and Dez suggests being more direct.

5. Emmy Nominations & Inside Industry Talk (13:27–18:07)

• Jeff congratulates Nischelle for four (actually eleven!) Emmy nominations with “Entertainment Tonight” but predicts canceled “Access Hollywood” will win as an industry sendoff.
  • “They’re gonna sweep the Emmys. I’m sorry.” – Jeff (16:27)
• The group teases award show politics, Mario Lopez's rumored political affiliations, and Jeff’s show-business cynicism.

6. Cosmetic Surgery & Body Image Trends (17:11–21:22)

• Nischelle opens up about debating breast augmentation and getting a fat transfer under her eyes, referencing celebrity health scares.
  • “I’m seeing stories about people getting sick...And a lot of girls saying, ‘We’re going back to natural.’” – Nischelle (17:43)
• Jeff shares his own cosmetic experience—prefers natural looks and quick recoveries.
  • “This is silly. Go to [Dr.] Raht in Beverly Hills. It’s the easiest thing.” – Jeff (19:45)

7. Dez’s Multi-Continental Comedy Life and the Power of Names (22:36–27:01; 38:38–44:28)

• Dez traces his path: born in London, raised in NYC, schooled and famous in Ireland, learning Mandarin in China as a TV experiment.
  • “[In China] I had one year to learn Mandarin to do stand-up...I did it.” – Dez (26:43)
• Backstory: Dez’s relationship with Hannah Berner (“Summer House”), connection with giggly Squad fans, and being on reality TV.
• The complexities and humor of having a Chinese girlfriend, Xuanxuan, and navigating lost-in-translation moments (38:38–42:20).
  • “Wei qu means I feel wronged…in China, it’s a feeling like f*** you.” – Dez (42:01)
  • “To laugh is to lose. So she left rather than lose.” – Dez (42:14)

8. Quick Proposals & “Knowing” You’ve Met the One (47:17–49:28)

• Dez describes knowing he’d marry Hannah within three minutes of their first date and proposing within six months (on Valentine’s Day).
  • “I proposed in a continuation of one of our running jokes.” – Dez (48:04)
  • “Like, as in, she knew once, obviously, I was on my knee…” – Dez (48:19)
• The panel debates “too soon” proposals and the realities behind reality TV romance.

9. Relationship Patterns, Avoidance, and Modern Love (44:41–46:43; 49:30–50:24)

• Nischelle reflects on her dating patterns—being “avoidant,” reluctant to pursue, and reluctant to risk vulnerability.
  • “I’m a bit of an avoidant — come, come, stop.” – Nischelle (45:48)
• Dez encourages self-reflection and breaking old relational habits.
  • “What are you afraid of? What are you protecting yourself from?” – Dez (49:40)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “This is our love language—we terrorize each other, right?”
  — Jeff (01:34)

• “Get yourself an elder. Cause apparently these elders know everything.”
  — Nischelle (06:05)

• “You went on three dates...and you fell asleep. It's over.”
  — Jeff (09:43)

• “Treat him like a physical therapist, not a boyfriend.”
  — Dez (09:55)

• “You don't have to plant stories. All you got to do is just show up to work.”
  — Jeff (16:02)

• “If you care about him enough, take a step forward…Maybe you’ve been playing it a bit cool, not realizing you were doing that.”
  — Dez (11:05)

• “When women dye their hair, it’s fine; when a man dyes his hair, everyone’s like, who does he think he's fooling?”
  — Dez (22:14)

• “I knew within three minutes I was going to marry her.”
  — Dez, on meeting his wife Hannah (29:13)

• “Intimacy. [She has] Christian shame.” — Jeff (45:33);
  “I'm a bit of an avoidant...I'm like, ‘come, come...stop.’” — Nischelle (45:48)

• "Hand job minimum."
  — Dez on reciprocating a day of affection (46:01)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• Self-driving Waymo banter: 01:59–03:40, 35:13–37:01
• LA hotel hookup/cheater culture: 03:44–04:19
• Nischelle’s date & relationship standards: 04:20–14:45, 44:41–46:43
• Gender roles & “doors” in dating: 11:03–13:02
• Emmy talk & industry inside baseball: 13:27–18:07
• Cosmetic surgery trends: 17:11–21:22
• Dez’s international comedy life/name meanings: 22:36–27:01, 38:38–44:28
• “Summer House”/reality TV reflections: 25:27–31:23
• Quick marriage proposal & love at first date: 47:17–49:28
• Modern relationship patterns & avoidance: 49:30–50:24

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Tone & Style

• Fast-paced, no-holds-barred, conversational
• Self-deprecating humor—especially about aging, dating, fame, and physical insecurities
• Candid and unfiltered, but with tenderness underlying the jokes
• Jeff Lewis frequently teases guests (and himself), guests give as good as they get

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Useful Takeaways for Listeners

• Insight into LA’s social and dating scene, blending celebrity culture with normal people quirks.
• Honest, humorous breakdown of middle-aged dating challenges—role expectations, vulnerability, and just having fun.
• Candid look at celebrity career trajectories, from comedy specials to TV show politics to Emmy speculation.
• Real talk about self-image and cosmetic procedures in Hollywood circles.
• Cautionary tales and encouragement about decisiveness in romance, and the perils/freedoms of living life out loud.

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Listen for:

• Hilarious breakdowns of awkward dating moments
• Jeff’s signature roasting of both guests and co-hosts
• Dez’s worldly perspective and his whirlwind romance with Hannah Berner
• Candid, relatable confessions about love, aging, and always keeping a sense of humor

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For fans of comedy, reality TV, and brutally honest takes on relationships—this episode is both a pep talk and a hoot.

Transcript

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[Nichelle Turner]

when you're Jeff Lewis, the drama never stops.

[Jeff Lewis]

This is our love language. We terrorize each other, Right? You're the villain. You're now the villain. Yeah, same girl. But that's kind of the deal. You come on here, you get made fun of, right?

[Nichelle Turner]

Uh, yeah. Jeff Lewis has Issues hey, welcome to

[Jeff Lewis]

Jeff Lewis has Issues. In today's episode, DEZ Bishop and Nichelle Turner join the show. We talk about hotel cheaters, the meaning of names and quick proposals. Good morning.

[Dez Bishop]

Good morning.

[Jeff Lewis]

I heard you brought. You took a Waymo here, Des,

[Nichelle Turner]

it

[Dez Bishop]

wouldn't have been my opening bit. I've never had a Waymo before.

[Nichelle Turner]

It's a death trap. I would love it.

[Jeff Lewis]

You did.

[Dez Bishop]

I loved it.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're not. So you haven't done any research. You don't know about all the accidents. You don't know that they drop people off in the middle of the street.

[Dez Bishop]

I'll tell you about human behavior in cars. I'll find you some accidents. But no, listen, I'm not. I'm not a Waymo Spokesperson. I'm just a classic New Yorker, came to la, got excited about taking away.

[Nichelle Turner]

Was this your first? It wasn't your first time or was

[Dez Bishop]

it not my first time in la? It was my first time in a way.

[Nichelle Turner]

In a way.

[Dez Bishop]

I've never used a Waymo.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, you obviously don't have them in, in this, in the city.

[Dez Bishop]

We don't have them in New York. And, and you know, I don't, I, I certainly don't have any bits about it. It's the first time I got in it. But I've heard people say, like, it's a unique experience. So I wanted to have it and I was actually excited.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Dez Bishop]

It is exciting because it's, it's weird.

[Jeff Lewis]

Have you done it?

[Shane]

I did one last night.

[Jeff Lewis]

You did a Wayo last night?

[Shane]

I did a Waymo last night.

[Dez Bishop]

You sounded like you're taking an ecstasy tablet the way you said that last night. I didn't want anyone to know, but I waymoed. It was a little boy, wasn't it?

[Jeff Lewis]

Is it cheaper?

[Shane]

It was cheaper, but also I got two, I had two cameos to do and I think it's funny to do them from the Waymo because I'm like, look guys, I'm in a Waymo.

[Dez Bishop]

I know, but you don't need to feel self conscious about it. That's what's so cool. And you could pick your own music.

[Jeff Lewis]

Where are you coming from? You're at a hotel?

[Dez Bishop]

Yeah, I'm at the addition. West Hollywood.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's nice.

[Dez Bishop]

That's nice.

[Jeff Lewis]

Have you gone to the rooftop?

[Dez Bishop]

Oh, sorry. It's okay, it's okay. The chumps are gonna. The chums are gonna get on me.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did you go to the rooftop yet?

[Dez Bishop]

I had breakfast there this morning.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's so beautiful up there because I'm

[Dez Bishop]

such an early riser. And then I'm on New York Times. I was literally waiting for it to open, but it was. It's amazing.

[Jeff Lewis]

You've been to the Edition Rooftop?

[Nichelle Turner]

I have not.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, it's, it's.

[Nichelle Turner]

It's a must.

[Dez Bishop]

A great spot, but I'm more of a one hotel guy since we're going full on.

[Jeff Lewis]

We love one hotel. We used to put guests up there. I love that bar.

[Dez Bishop]

I love it. And it just. You feel like you're in Tulum when. When Tulum was cool.

[Jeff Lewis]

There's a lot of hookup. It's, you know, it's a big hookup spot.

[Nichelle Turner]

What the one hotel is.

[Dez Bishop]

Yeah. What do you mean?

[Jeff Lewis]

Like the bar tonight.

[Kian]

What's that.

[Dez Bishop]

Oh, really?

[Jeff Lewis]

Lot of cheaters.

[Nichelle Turner]

Oh.

[Dez Bishop]

Oh, dear.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, no, they're informatic.

[Dez Bishop]

Well, the good news. The good news is that it was my wife that put me onto the bar. So either she's cheating.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry to tell you, of all the hotels in la, she's someone else.

[Dez Bishop]

Well, I'd rather her. Somebody that loves a good hotel. You know, if you. At least they have good taste. That's all I can say now.

[Jeff Lewis]

Speaking of sex.

[Nichelle Turner]

Oh, boy.

[Jeff Lewis]

Michelle Turner, you had a mystery man, which we believe is 62. I've narrowed it to the Bay Area. I think he lives in the Bay Area. Now.

[Dez Bishop]

Michelle's been dancing since I met her.

[Nichelle Turner]

I did. I walked in, I was, like, doing a booty pop. When he walked in, he was like, oh, okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did you tell him about your bone contusion?

[Nichelle Turner]

No. But you know what? It's better. And you know why it's better? Because the mystery man worked it out.

[Dez Bishop]

What does that mean?

[Jeff Lewis]

What do you mean? Wait, what do you mean he worked it out?

[Nichelle Turner]

Well, I told you, last time I was here, we were having a date, right? We were gonna have a date. He was coming to visit. We were gonna have a day date, and we did, and it was incredible. But I was telling him about my bone contusion. Right.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, that's.

[Nichelle Turner]

Wow.

[Dez Bishop]

He was so hard. The horniness. Oh, my God.

[Nichelle Turner]

Well, he did say lay down on the couch, and I did. And he started, like, massaging, like, the bone. And this sounds bad.

[Jeff Lewis]

He started massaging the bone and then you reciprocated.

[Nichelle Turner]

Well, yeah.

[Dez Bishop]

That's the thing, though.

[Nichelle Turner]

Well, it was a day date. It was. I was right here. I was tunnel vision. Just a day date.

[Jeff Lewis]

This was your first date, right?

[Nichelle Turner]

No, this was the third date.

[Jeff Lewis]

And he flies in from the Bay Area to see you.

[Nichelle Turner]

Jeff.

[Dez Bishop]

Just, you know, is he, like a tech. Is he, like a tech billionaire?

[Nichelle Turner]

He's not, but that would be nice. But he's not. But he was telling me that my IT band was hurt, and so he was, like, working that out. Ever since he did that, it has been feeling. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Dez Bishop]

That's the thing about you. Date an older guy, they're gonna know about all the ailments.

[Nichelle Turner]

You see what I'm saying?

[Dez Bishop]

Yeah. There's not a man over 45 that hasn't been told they have a tight it band.

[Nichelle Turner]

There you go. Get yourself an elder. Cause apparently these elders know everything.

[Jeff Lewis]

So. How long did he work on?

[Nichelle Turner]

Wasn't long. It was just like 20 minutes or so. But then I fell asleep.

[Jeff Lewis]

God, you're a real fun date.

[Kian]

I know.

[Shane]

Really?

[Dez Bishop]

What a stereotype reversal right there.

[Nichelle Turner]

Okay, is that bad, or is that a sign that I feel comfortable with him? Because I did fall. And he goes. He was talking to me. And he goes, nichelle, you're falling asleep. You've fallen asleep, like four times. I'm like, have I? Oh, I didn't realize it. And so then he was like, okay, so I gotta go catch my flight back. So then he left to go catch his flight. So I don't know if that was a bad thing.

[Shane]

I'm gonna say that this is your

[Jeff Lewis]

third date and you didn't put out.

[Dez Bishop]

And you put in a lot of effort, too.

[Nichelle Turner]

That's the question. I think that's the mark of a good girl. Am I supposed to put out on the third date when we haven't established, like, you're my dude? Des, answer this for me.

[Dez Bishop]

No, I think it's totally up to you. I don't. You know, I think a guy at 62, he's not really in. He's not. He doesn't mind. He's happy with the company.

[Nichelle Turner]

Sure.

[Dez Bishop]

He's happy that he was able to, like, please you in that way, but

[Nichelle Turner]

he's not like 62 where he walks with a cane.

[Dez Bishop]

No, but I'm just saying he's passed. He's. He's. He's only got a certain amount of loads, so he's not. He's not that worried about wasting guarantee.

[Jeff Lewis]

He took. He took something. He took a Cialis or a Viagra or something because he knew third date, it was going to happen. You're going back. You're going back.

[Nichelle Turner]

Ian said this yesterday.

[Dez Bishop]

He wasted a Cialis.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, he sure did.

[Nichelle Turner]

So you took a Viagra and he was ready to rock and roll. And I.

[Dez Bishop]

Did he have a runny nose? Did he have a runny nose by any chance?

[Nichelle Turner]

No, but. Is that a mark of a Viagra? Listen, we had an event.

[Dez Bishop]

If the guy says, sorry, I have a bit of a cold, is that

[Jeff Lewis]

why my nose is always running?

[Dez Bishop]

That's amazing.

[Nichelle Turner]

That's amazing Now. Thank you for putting me on.

[Jeff Lewis]

You should have done something. I mean, you should have done just, like, to show them you're interested.

[Dez Bishop]

What's that?

[Nichelle Turner]

What do you think?

[Dez Bishop]

Sorry, I'm not. I'm not circumcised, so I don't need to use that much lubrication. That's not the noise. I just have skin to do. I'm European in That way.

[Nichelle Turner]

Oh, my God. You know what? I just learned something. So if you're not circumcised, you can't.

[Jeff Lewis]

You don't need lube.

[Dez Bishop]

You don't you. For masturbation. No. I mean, you never know.

[Jeff Lewis]

I would save some money.

[Dez Bishop]

I got a lot of warnings about be careful what you talk about on Jeff Lewis. Yeah, you would save a lot of money, but you need lube for. In your world, you need lube for other things, but for masturbation, you don't need lube.

[Nichelle Turner]

You know, maybe not.

[Jeff Lewis]

How much. Imagine how much money Doug would save.

[Shane]

Oh, my God. A lot.

[Nichelle Turner]

This is really an education. I did not know that.

[Dez Bishop]

Yeah, well, it's fascinating because, you know, I just happened to be born in London, and then I wasn't circumcised because they don't do that. There's. But then I lived my life in America, where I was the odd one out, you know?

[Nichelle Turner]

Wait, so how many places have you lived?

[Dez Bishop]

I did ignore London, but that's just. Anyway, I'm not circumcised. That's the main thing. So I. It's only over here that people are, like, fascinated by all the things you learn about not being circumcised, because in Europe, it's just totally normal.

[Nichelle Turner]

Do you know what I'm getting by all your questions, though, about the date and the way you're looking at me? You're looking at me like, this man does not like you.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, he. I don't. No, no, no. I don't think that at all. I'm just worried. I don't want him to feel like you put him in the frame.

[Nichelle Turner]

I don't like him. Okay.

[Shane]

Has he planned date number four?

[Nichelle Turner]

Okay, so we have planned date number four.

[Jeff Lewis]

He postponed.

[Nichelle Turner]

But it's for. But we planned. It's like, for the end of August.

[Kian]

Oh, what?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, I know.

[Dez Bishop]

I have.

[Nichelle Turner]

I have a busy schedule coming up. Nope, he's a little busy.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's over. You put him in the friend zone. You went on three dates with him, you talked about your fucking bone contusion, and you fell asleep. It's over.

[Nichelle Turner]

But we had a beautiful line.

[Dez Bishop]

Treat him like a physical therapist, not a boyfriend.

[Nichelle Turner]

You know what he did say to me? Don't tell people that I'm over here massaging. I'm like, well, let me tell everybody, right? It's not.

[Dez Bishop]

Tell everyone.

[Nichelle Turner]

No one knows who he is.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm afraid you messed up.

[Nichelle Turner]

Oh, no.

[Jeff Lewis]

Because now he doesn't want to see you till the end of August. Which, by the way, he's not going to follow through. It's not going to.

[Dez Bishop]

Oh, well, no dude is going to wait. Breath. Well, no, except it's. It's a long distance thing, so it's like.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's not that long distance. It's an hour flight, guys.

[Nichelle Turner]

It's not that long distance. But here's the thing. So I only have a couple days, like, leeway before the end of August. Cause I am really busy. And so I'm thinking about saying to him, like, hey, I have a day. Do you want to do something? But then the thing is, is that me being in my feminine.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're looking difficult. You're looking difficult. Oh, I'm busy on this day. This day, this day, this day. But fly here and then you can rub my feet.

[Nichelle Turner]

Okay. When he came to my house, though, he was very impressed with my Emmys. So he knows that I'm a busy girl. Very impressed.

[Dez Bishop]

Listen, if you. If you. If you care about him enough, then maybe take a step forward and see if he recipes.

[Nichelle Turner]

That's not like leaning into the masculine. Aren't you supposed to let a man lead? Aren't you supposed to let the man talk?

[Dez Bishop]

You're making it too complicated.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, it's not.

[Dez Bishop]

You don't need to.

[Kian]

It.

[Dez Bishop]

There's no masculine, feminine. If you like the guy, step forward a little bit. Because you maybe have been playing it a bit cool against realizing that you were doing that. Look forward to it. See what happens.

[Nichelle Turner]

Well, okay, let me give you all this scenario and you tell me what you think about this. Because when we were leaving my house to go to lunch, by the way, Casalina was delicious. If you haven't gone, go Delicious diet. Delicious.

[Jeff Lewis]

Where is it?

[Nichelle Turner]

Woodland Hills. It's delicious. It's on Ventura in Woodland Hills. I mean, we had this appetizer that was like whipped ricotta, honey pistachios.

[Jeff Lewis]

It was great for my cholesterol.

[Nichelle Turner]

Prosciutto. It's radiant.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Some.

[Nichelle Turner]

Oh, it was delicious. I. I'm still thinking about it. Anyway, so when we were leaving my house to go to the restaurant, I was like, oh, I forgot something in the house. I gotta go back and get it. When I came outside, the door was open. He had opened the door for me, but he was sitting in the car, so it was like he opened the door, but he really didn't.

[Dez Bishop]

Oh, my God. So you're very complicated.

[Nichelle Turner]

Is that. I'm wondering, though, there's a whole scene

[Dez Bishop]

in the Bronx Tale about all he

[Nichelle Turner]

has to do is open the door for you.

[Dez Bishop]

That's enough.

[Nichelle Turner]

The test. Okay, so he shouldn't have. Like, should he have?

[Jeff Lewis]

I think that's so considerate. He went around and opened up your door, then got in the car?

[Nichelle Turner]

Yes.

[Dez Bishop]

Yeah. Because he didn't know how long you were going to be.

[Nichelle Turner]

Okay, so that wasn't. Because Keon said that was a red flag. Kean said, the man should have been standing out there.

[Jeff Lewis]

Keen is single. Why are you listening? Why are you listening to him?

[Nichelle Turner]

Okay, well, okay, here's the other thing he did. So when we were leaving, because I told him I just wanted to be a passenger princess that day, I just wanted to be like, take care of me. Just be a passenger princess. He said, fine. So we were leaving the restaurant. The valet was going to open the door, and he said, no, she wants me to open the door for her. Now, would you have said that, or would you have just opened the door?

[Dez Bishop]

Oh, he's being sarcastic. Yeah, he's just a bit of humor.

[Nichelle Turner]

Okay, so I'm just looking too far.

[Jeff Lewis]

Spicy. I like that.

[Dez Bishop]

Yeah.

[Nichelle Turner]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Nichelle Turner]

He gives me the business sometimes, and I do like that.

[Jeff Lewis]

I do like that. You need that.

[Nichelle Turner]

I do. Put it in.

[Jeff Lewis]

You look good today, by the way.

[Nichelle Turner]

I do.

[Jeff Lewis]

Who did your makeup?

[Nichelle Turner]

Rebecca Epps.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you going somewhere after this work? Oh, so you get your makeup done at home before you go to the studio?

[Nichelle Turner]

No, no, no. I went to the studio this morning, got my hair, makeup done, came here to do the show, then I'm going back. I have three shows to do today. But because I love y' all so much, and we love you at Entertainment Tonight, they said we're gonna push back production for Jeff Lewis today.

[Jeff Lewis]

I did want to talk about something, though.

[Nichelle Turner]

Oh, boy.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. Congratulations. I know you were nominated for four. Your show was. No, four different.

[Nichelle Turner]

Four Emmys yesterday.

[Shane]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Here's the problem, Des. You can, you know, jump in on this. Access Hollywood, which was their rival for years and years and years, they. That has been canceled. Usually what's gonna happen is I'm afraid Access Hollywood is gonna. I think they're gonna get most of the Emmys because they're. They're done. Remember that year with Schitt's Creek? They canceled it, and then it was the Emmys, and they won every single Emmy. Okay, so outstanding arts and popular culture program, Access Hollywood.

[Dez Bishop]

Oh, who are you up against? Who else?

[Nichelle Turner]

We're up against Extra and Access Hollywood for that. But then in the personality over the host category.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, we'll get there.

[Nichelle Turner]

Oh, boy.

[Jeff Lewis]

So I'M gonna give it to Access. Sorry.

[Nichelle Turner]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

Outstanding arts and popular culture program.

[Nichelle Turner]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

Outstanding directing for a daytime studio nonfiction series. Access.

[Dez Bishop]

Really?

[Nichelle Turner]

So you're basically saying I shouldn't even go to the show.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, it's up to you. I mean, if you want to waste a dress.

[Dez Bishop]

You have four already. Have a good time. Maybe take the mystery guy.

[Nichelle Turner]

I have 11 outstanding

[Jeff Lewis]

outstanding entertainment news series. Yeah, that's for sure. Access. Here's the other one, though. You could get this. And okay. It is outstanding daytime personality daily. Now they're looking at as kind of an ensemble, right?

[Nichelle Turner]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

And that Kevin Fraser has a great personality.

[Nichelle Turner]

He sure does.

[Jeff Lewis]

Funny. Could win it for you.

[Nichelle Turner]

He could.

[Jeff Lewis]

We won it last year because of Kevin.

[Nichelle Turner]

We. There you go.

[Dez Bishop]

Because of the man.

[Jeff Lewis]

But Mario Lopez and Zuri hall, they are hot.

[Nichelle Turner]

Mario has dimples. Zuri has.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, they're hot. They're gorgeous together. But that Kevin's funny.

[Nichelle Turner]

He's funny. He's a funny guy.

[Dez Bishop]

And Mario Lopez got a little stink on him at the moment. Oh, his Trump support.

[Kian]

Oh.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, I wasn't aware of that.

[Nichelle Turner]

You know what?

[Jeff Lewis]

Just had Courtney on. We should have. We should have discussed politics. That always goes really well.

[Nichelle Turner]

There you go. We should have jumped right in. So here you're maga. Courtney, how you doing?

[Dez Bishop]

Hey, but this is how you win. You gotta. You gotta start playing the politics. They went after the safdies with the Timothy Salamat. You got to play politics. You want to win that thing.

[Nichelle Turner]

Jeff Lewis is divisive enough. The last thing he needs to do is talk politics.

[Dez Bishop]

No, no, I'm saying you. You can get one of those dirty campaigns to get your Smear. That's the word. Sorry. Sorry. That's what I meant. That's what I meant.

[Nichelle Turner]

I can smear Mario. Here we go. Get ready.

[Jeff Lewis]

You don't have to plant stories. All you got to do is just show up to work.

[Nichelle Turner]

That's all I got to do.

[Jeff Lewis]

Just report on it.

[Dez Bishop]

By the way. Allegedly. I don't want to get in any trouble. Especially because I was like a childhood hero of Mario Lopez. I feel like I've been with him.

[Nichelle Turner]

From the Slater fan.

[Dez Bishop]

No, that. With Kids Incorporated. He was.

[Nichelle Turner]

Oh, that's right. He was.

[Dez Bishop]

Okay, I forgot. D s. He's gonna get incorporated. They're gonna Gen X. Gen X.

[Jeff Lewis]

They're gonna sweep the Emmys. I'm sorry.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Nichelle Turner]

Listen, I. I may be of a bit of the same mindset. I actually thought last year that there would. They. We were gonna lose. I thought that they Were gonna give it to E Because they had gotten canceled and they were nominated. That didn't happen. We won. No, we won. But. But I was pretty good though, you know? You know, so you guys.

[Dez Bishop]

You guys are like the last game in town.

[Nichelle Turner]

Yeah. Us an extra. And then now that. That we may be one company, I don't know what they're gonna do.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's why they only renewed our contract for one year.

[Shane]

One.

[Kian]

Really?

[Nichelle Turner]

One year.

[Dez Bishop]

Start working on that content, you know?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yep. While you're hot. Do those dance videos.

[Nichelle Turner]

I don't have my boob job yet, so I can't do.

[Jeff Lewis]

How are we with that? What's happening?

[Nichelle Turner]

Okay, so here's the thing.

[Dez Bishop]

I'm still thinking, you know, so much about her life.

[Nichelle Turner]

Listen, last time we here, I'm talking,

[Dez Bishop]

I'm thinking about having a 62 year old. Would have made more of an effort.

[Nichelle Turner]

Well, the 62 year old thinks I need to get. He thinks I should get a D. He was like, I think you should

[Jeff Lewis]

have D. Not on you. That's a red flag.

[Dez Bishop]

That's a red flag.

[Nichelle Turner]

Everyone said the same thing.

[Dez Bishop]

That's a red flag.

[Nichelle Turner]

Okay, so I'm still thinking about it, but I'm just nervous because I am seeing these stories about people getting sick. Remember Yolanda Hadid said she was like, had to take implants out.

[Dez Bishop]

People getting sick, they have like a disease obsessed.

[Nichelle Turner]

All have Lyme disease. Yeah, they all have Lyme disease. But. But then I've seen other people say I'm sick because of it or whatever. And then I'm seeing a lot of girls saying, we're going back to natural. We're getting them taken out. We don't want the implants anymore. So part of me is like, maybe I should just stay. And I decided that I am getting the eyes done, but I'm still waiting on the boobs.

[Jeff Lewis]

All right, so the woman who cuts my hair, she just did a boob job, but she did the fat transfer. And she's like, you, skinny, skinny, skinny. I don't know where they got the fat. They look so good.

[Nichelle Turner]

Do they look good?

[Jeff Lewis]

So good, so natural. And by the way, not too large, but, like, because she's really thin like you are.

[Nichelle Turner]

What is like a C?

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't even know if it's a C. I think it might be a

[Nichelle Turner]

full B. I think I would want a B.

[Jeff Lewis]

A full B. She looks fantastic. It looks so natural. I think I'm gonna get that doctor for you.

[Nichelle Turner]

Please do. And I'm getting the same procedure done. The fat transfer under my eyes that you got done.

[Jeff Lewis]

So I have lots of Questions for you, Dr. Groth.

[Nichelle Turner]

No, I'm doing Dr. Mend.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. Yeah, I'll tell you about it. It's so easy. It's so easy.

[Nichelle Turner]

Is it because they scared me when I was talking to the nurse? No.

[Jeff Lewis]

What did she say to you?

[Nichelle Turner]

Basically, she said, it takes nine to 12 months to really be able to see anything. And she said this to me, which I don't think you say this, people. You're gonna have good days and bad days. I'm like, excuse me. She was like, some days you might.

[Dez Bishop]

What did Bradley Cooper get in his eyes?

[Nichelle Turner]

Oh, he got.

[Dez Bishop]

Whatever he got. Don't get it. That's all I can say.

[Nichelle Turner]

He looks pulled.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's a facelift.

[Dez Bishop]

Oh, is that what that is?

[Nichelle Turner]

He swears he didn't do anything. He swears he didn't do anything.

[Dez Bishop]

It just looks weird.

[Jeff Lewis]

Maybe you should go to Groff. You think it was such an easy recovery. Not for Shane, but for me.

[Nichelle Turner]

He's great, though. Dr. Menace. They put you up. I'm getting it done in Vegas. They then put you up at the Four Seasons for, like, four days. And they have four hours. They said I could drive the next day.

[Jeff Lewis]

This was silly. I was just home for a weekend. I had it done on Friday. I was back to work Monday. Back to work Monday?

[Nichelle Turner]

Are you serious?

[Jeff Lewis]

It's no big deal.

[Nichelle Turner]

Taking, like, two weeks off work.

[Jeff Lewis]

This is stupid. Go to Roth in Beverly Hills. It's the easiest thing.

[Nichelle Turner]

I've already paid, and I'm already like.

[Dez Bishop]

But if you're going under, get your tits done, too. Just get true.

[Jeff Lewis]

Take the fat from your eyes and

[Nichelle Turner]

put it in your tits.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's all you. Because I don't know where they're going

[Dez Bishop]

to get the fat they're doing.

[Nichelle Turner]

From my inner thighs. They're taking the fat from my inner thighs. I do have a thigh gap, thank you. Thank you very much, but no. Yeah, I'm getting. I'm getting them done. I'm booked for doing it. I'm staying at the Four Seasons. They're gonna take care of me 24 hours.

[Jeff Lewis]

This is silly. You're gonna be there for two nights and go home, put on some sunglasses, get on Jet, Suite X. You're good, and we're fine.

[Nichelle Turner]

See, I was gonna drive to Vegas because I didn't know if I should fly.

[Dez Bishop]

Everybody's getting. Everyone's wearing sunglasses when they get their eyes done. Just fly.

[Nichelle Turner]

But I'm supposed to have a Date with the guy, like 10 days.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're fine. You're fine. Totally fine.

[Nichelle Turner]

Okay. Okay. Okay, Good. Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't know who you're talking to.

[Nichelle Turner]

This is what the nurse is. She goes, some days your eye might be wonky. And I said, ma', am, I'm on TV every day. She goes, oh, but only you will be able to, like, understand.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, you're wonky eye. Now, it's simple fat transfer.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

This is.

[Jeff Lewis]

This is crazy.

[Nichelle Turner]

Okay, but what do they do? They just pull your eye. They cut on the inside of your eye and they put the little layers of fat underneath there.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's the easiest thing in the world. Okay, but you gotta do it every five years. That's the problem.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Oh, really?

[Dez Bishop]

Why? You absorb the fat back.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's just. I mean, I need it again. But now they're saying we should cut, so.

[Nichelle Turner]

Wait, you didn't.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, I already did it. I did it five years ago. But now I'm gonna cut to cut into a little, little, little stitch there.

[Nichelle Turner]

So on the inside. And they're gonna lift it up a little bit. Okay?

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's gonna pull it a little bit.

[Kian]

I'm nervous.

[Jeff Lewis]

You should not be nervous.

[Dez Bishop]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

Aren't you glad you showed up today, Dustin?

[Kian]

I am.

[Dez Bishop]

Because I love talking about this. And I'm a straight man. You think I could talk about this shit with my friends? This.

[Jeff Lewis]

You look really good.

[Dez Bishop]

No, but if I was your eyes, if I was going to get anything, they have this mini facelift. Now. Just a little pullback here, because this is starting.

[Jeff Lewis]

I would tell you if you needed it. I don't think you.

[Nichelle Turner]

I don't think you need it.

[Jeff Lewis]

And I actually. And here's the thing. I know you have a thing about dyeing your hair. I'm glad you don't, because you're not a bit.

[Dez Bishop]

He's. I have a joke.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're all gray.

[Dez Bishop]

To going gray.

[Jeff Lewis]

It looks really good.

[Dez Bishop]

I dyed it during the going gray period.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Dez Bishop]

We're under construction. You know, it's like the scaffolding. But once it was fully gray, I was totally excited.

[Jeff Lewis]

And you were humiliated when you died. Is that correct? You were embarrassed?

[Dez Bishop]

No. There was a time when I was in China where I couldn't find the right color and I dyed it anyway. And it looked.

[Nichelle Turner]

Did you look like George Clooney when he was on Broadway doing Goodnight?

[Dez Bishop]

Yeah, but he had to do it. But actually, when I saw him, I was like, yes. I remember that feeling. It was pretty embarrassing. That's wild, because the joke I have in the show is that, you know, when women dye their hair, it's like, totally fine. But when a man dyes his hair, everyone's like, who does he think he's fooling?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, it's true. No, it is true.

[Dez Bishop]

But I. By the way, I contrast that with how tough it is for women in general. But I just use that as a quick punchline. Just, I don't want anyone.

[Jeff Lewis]

And your new special is Bridge and Tunnel, and it's on Hulu. I didn't realize this is your. Is this your seventh special?

[Nichelle Turner]

Wow.

[Dez Bishop]

He. Keon would know a bit. Most of those are in Ireland.

[Jeff Lewis]

I see.

[Dez Bishop]

No, I've had a very long Irish career that Americans are completely oblivious to. It's really my second American special.

[Jeff Lewis]

Got it.

[Dez Bishop]

Yeah. And it was on Hulu, but It's also on YouTube now, too.

[Nichelle Turner]

I'm going to go home and watch it.

[Jeff Lewis]

So, wait, you were born in Ireland, right?

[Dez Bishop]

No, My birth is confusing because my parents happen to be living in London. So ignore that because I was back in New York within four weeks. So I grew up in New York. When I was 14, I went to boarding school in Ireland.

[Nichelle Turner]

Wait, did your mother not know she was about to have a baby?

[Dez Bishop]

No. You couldn't travel. They waited to have me because it wasn't back then. They didn't let you travel when you were, like, not even that long pregnant.

[Nichelle Turner]

Got it.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Dez Bishop]

So I was born in London, grew up in New York. That's the important part. And then at 14, I was sent to boarding school in Ireland.

[Nichelle Turner]

Okay, right.

[Jeff Lewis]

Because for how long?

[Dez Bishop]

Oh, I ended up spending the rest of my life there. Until the pandemic. So I went to boarding school. But then college was so cheap. I stayed for college. Then I got into comedy when I was in college, and then I had a very long Irish.

[Jeff Lewis]

You were an actor also, correct?

[Dez Bishop]

A bit.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Dez Bishop]

I mean, I can say I'm an actor. I have an IMDb. But you've been in New York. If actor was the only thing that I was doing, then I would have been a very unsuccessful actor.

[Jeff Lewis]

How did you end up back in New York?

[Dez Bishop]

I met Hannah during the pandemic. My now wife.

[Nichelle Turner]

You met her in Ireland?

[Dez Bishop]

No, no, here we were. We were out in the Hamptons. I decided when Ireland was shutting down, and I was, because we've always. My family always had a summer house in West Hampton, Long Island. So I was worried that I wasn't going to be able to get out of Ireland, that I was going to be stuck in Ireland. And I wanted to have the summer in West Hampton. I didn't know that Ireland wouldn't open up for over two years. Anyway, so when I left, I was out in the Hamptons. The world was shut down. And then I saw I was following Hannah for whatever reason, and I saw her story.

[Jeff Lewis]

Stalker.

[Nichelle Turner]

I was gonna say following her.

[Dez Bishop]

Like, no, no. I follow her because I think she was on Nikki Glaser's story a few months before. And I was like, oh, cute comic. I followed her. That's it.

[Nichelle Turner]

Right.

[Dez Bishop]

So then I see she's out in Shelter Island. Fun fact. She was having lunch with the Countess. Luan.

[Shane]

Who?

[Dez Bishop]

I didn't even know who the Countess was at the time. That's how much I was now.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you were tracking her?

[Nichelle Turner]

No.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, you knew she was having lunch.

[Dez Bishop]

She posted the location, and I was like, oh, she's. Yeah, she was feeling. Yeah. So she. The location was the Hamptons. And then I saw she was following me, which I never knew. She followed me back. So I said, she followed me back. I shot my shot. I said, hey, are you out east? She said, yeah. I said, you want to meet for coffee in Sag Harbor? She said, yeah. And we went for coffee. And that was it.

[Nichelle Turner]

I'm such an idiot, because now all the pieces are coming together. Hannah.

[Dez Bishop]

Hannah Berner is my wife. That's the only reason I'm here.

[Nichelle Turner]

You were on Summer House for, like.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, I didn't even know.

[Nichelle Turner]

I'm such an idiot. It's awes coming together now, Keon, you didn't tell me that. Okay, I got it.

[Dez Bishop]

So there's a lot of Hannah and Paige have giggly spots.

[Nichelle Turner]

I got it.

[Dez Bishop]

But what I discovered after being announced on this show. Lot of crossover.

[Nichelle Turner]

Yes.

[Dez Bishop]

Between the chumps and the gigglers.

[Nichelle Turner]

Yes, for sure.

[Dez Bishop]

So I was. I was trying to come up with a name, which I think it would have to be Chigglers, because you can't do gimps. So it's going to be chigglers. There's a lot of chigglers out there.

[Jeff Lewis]

Just wait. There's nothing like the chumps. No, nothing.

[Dez Bishop]

Hey, you know, I grew up with a lot of chumps. It turns out Emily Boodle, my first girlfriend, reached out to me. Shout out. Elizabeth o'. Hara. Girl I grew up with in Queens. Big chumps. Like, a lot of excited women messaged me being like, I can't believe you're going to be on Jeff Lewis.

[Nichelle Turner]

I get a lot of guys, too, now. Like, there's a lot of CBS News correspondents that are like secretly email me. They're like, we're chumps.

[Dez Bishop]

Oh, nice. It's a cult.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's embarrassing. It's like nobody, nobody. They whisper. They don't. Yeah. Honestly, they're not proud. They're not. They're humiliated. If they.

[Nichelle Turner]

I had chumps coming up to me at the Grammys going, I'm a chump.

[Dez Bishop]

Hey, I'm a chump.

[Jeff Lewis]

But see, they don't say it in front of other people.

[Nichelle Turner]

No, they don't scream it, they whisper it.

[Dez Bishop]

Yeah, but that's fun. It's better to listen. It's secretive. It's like the, you know.

[Nichelle Turner]

Yeah, they're in their club.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wait a minute. Didn't you go live in China for a while?

[Dez Bishop]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you didn't, you didn't mention that.

[Dez Bishop]

I have a very complicated story. It's very hard to get it through on a light hearted show like this. But anyway, no, I had a very like, I had an Irish comedy career, like a lot of TV shows and different things. And then I pitched a TV show where. And I had done these type of like immersion documentary shows. So I pitched a TV show where I moved to China and I had one year to learn enough Mandarin to do stand up comedy in Mandarin in China for a Chinese audience. And it was a six part series about China through the, through the lens of somebody who was trying to achieve that. And I did it. So anyway, I ended up living there for two years because I liked it so much. I stayed another year.

[Jeff Lewis]

And did you have a girlfriend the second year?

[Dez Bishop]

So when I stayed in my second year, I dated a Chinese woman for a while.

[Jeff Lewis]

Was it a woman or was it a lady boy?

[Dez Bishop]

That's Thailand, number one. Okay, let's get our Asian stereotypes.

[Jeff Lewis]

There's Chinese lady boys. There is Chinese lady boys.

[Dez Bishop]

I have no doubt that there's Chinese lady. I actually, I do believe that that term is maybe outdated now even. But no, in Thailand they don't take that from us.

[Jeff Lewis]

What would we call them? They're trying to make us like we're supposed to say unhoused now too.

[Dez Bishop]

Oh yeah, that didn't stick.

[Jeff Lewis]

That actually didn't stick because I'm holding on to homeless.

[Dez Bishop]

Yeah, that didn't stick. A few things didn't stick. You know, Please.

[Jeff Lewis]

And I'm holding on to ladyboy.

[Dez Bishop]

Okay, that. Hey, you guys, you guys, do you. Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

Is there another term? See, it's not available.

[Dez Bishop]

I could be wrong. I could be. Anyway, that's a Thailand thing.

[Nichelle Turner]

So you went on Summer House a little Bit Right. You were on for, like, a three days. Brief message. Three days.

[Dez Bishop]

But that was literally right after I met Hannah. So I met Hannah.

[Nichelle Turner]

They didn't give you a good edit.

[Dez Bishop]

Oh, yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

But really, was he a dickhead?

[Nichelle Turner]

No, they were trying to paint it like.

[Dez Bishop]

No, Hannah was. Listen, that we don't. In our house. We have moved on from. From season five of Summer.

[Nichelle Turner]

Okay. But I haven't. And you're here.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, it sounds like I need to watch it.

[Nichelle Turner]

You're here.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

I didn't see that.

[Nichelle Turner]

Well, no, they didn't. They did Hannah dirty. They really did do her dirty.

[Dez Bishop]

You know, I'm not gonna express any opinions.

[Nichelle Turner]

Okay, well, I will. They did her dirty. But when you came on, they kind of made it, like, trying to make it, like, oh, she has this guy, this random guy, and he's. And who is this guy? And do we know anything about that?

[Dez Bishop]

Yeah, but that's all, you know. They can portray it any way they want. Here's the reality, though. When I met Hannah, literally, she got in my car, Sag harbor, the ferry from Shelter island, she got in my car, and within three minutes, I knew that I was gonna marry her.

[Nichelle Turner]

Are you serious?

[Dez Bishop]

I knew. No, no, listen, I'm not. Hannah will tell you. I'm not like, a romantic, like, affectionate guy. I'm like, you know, typically Gen X, whatever.

[Jeff Lewis]

But he's also a stalker.

[Dez Bishop]

No, but. No, but I knew we. The minute she got in, we had, like, an immediate connection.

[Nichelle Turner]

Yeah.

[Dez Bishop]

And it wasn't just the humor, but the humor was a big part of it. I'd never dated a comic, and I. To my surprise, I was like, this is amazing. So I knew the problem was she was going in there immediately afterwards. She didn't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

So I get. I bet she didn't know.

[Nichelle Turner]

Well, that was. That was a season. They did her really dirty.

[Jeff Lewis]

I wonder how long it took her. Well, I don't even know she's there yet.

[Dez Bishop]

I don't mind, because, you want to be honest, she's really killing it since we met, now we're married. So, yeah, it really has been a real win.

[Shane]

But no, all.

[Dez Bishop]

Listen, all joking aside, I knew. So she went in there, and it was, you know, all the way. It was going down. They were locked in the house.

[Nichelle Turner]

Yeah.

[Dez Bishop]

You know, and so it was a bit, like, full on. Like, the energy was like a weird energy. And I was going in there because I was like. I was. I was smitten. You got to understand. I was smitten. You could tell back in the day there's an Irish comedian called Joanne McNally and we were doing podcasts at the time, and I. She was, like, getting annoyed at me. I was so sm. I was googling. I was googling. What does the. What does being like falling deeply in love do to your body hormonally? Because I was, like, finding it hard to deal with. I was looking at the. The hormone secretion. Anyway, long story short, I'm worried for

[Jeff Lewis]

him with the divorce.

[Dez Bishop]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm. I'm worried he's gonna kill him.

[Shane]

That was the same.

[Dez Bishop]

That was. That was the early days. But anyway, no, we have a great. We have a great marriage. So, anyway, so. But I didn't call. So when I had this opportunity to go in there, I just wanted to see her again because we were talking on the phone every day. So I didn't tell my agent. I didn't tell anybody because I knew they'd be like, no way.

[Nichelle Turner]

Don't go on that show.

[Dez Bishop]

No way. So I hid it and went in there covertly to lock down Hannah. Now, the price to pay was we didn't come across great on that season.

[Nichelle Turner]

Right.

[Dez Bishop]

So be it. Because that is reality TV is not reality. And our reality is pretty cool.

[Kian]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Dez Bishop]

So I'll take it. I take it.

[Nichelle Turner]

I'm glad, you know, that they didn't give you a good.

[Dez Bishop]

Yeah. But I didn't watch it. So when people started messaging me, I was like, that's not what happened. But, you know, like, I don't care.

[Nichelle Turner]

Got it.

[Dez Bishop]

I didn't watch it deliberately because, like, why am I going to be annoyed at whatever they chose to show versus the experience that I had?

[Shane]

Right.

[Dez Bishop]

You know what I mean?

[Nichelle Turner]

And.

[Kian]

And she.

[Nichelle Turner]

I mean, she had up and down. You know, I think I love her. I think she's great and I love

[Dez Bishop]

her regardless of what you think and how bad that was. What. What a resilience to keep going and have the success that you're going back.

[Nichelle Turner]

Yeah.

[Dez Bishop]

You know, and Giggly Squad is a behemoth

[Narrator/Advertiser]

flowing ad budget on metrics that look great till the CFO sees them. That's bullspend. And marketers are calling it out in Dashboard Confessions.

[Jeff Lewis]

I remember telling my boss, it'll be good for the brand when leads were slow.

[Kian]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

It wasn't.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

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[Jeff Lewis]

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[Kian]

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[Jeff Lewis]

There are things in life you don't want to be transparent, like your swimsuit or your search history. But when it comes to your wireless bill, transparency is everything. That's why Mint Mobile's wireless plans have no gimmicks and no gotchas. Just high speed data and reliable coverage on the T Mobile 5G network. And right now, all plans are $15 per month, even unlimited. To get your new wireless Plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com jefflewis that's mintmobile.com jeffleWis Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com jeffleSwis that's it. There's no catch. Upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for 12 months. Plan required $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees extra initial plan term Only greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy. Includes up to 20gb hotspot capable device required. Availability, speed and coverage varies. See Mint Mobile Dot com. Now, we were discussing at the break, before you walked in, Kian had mentioned that you took a Waymo. And Oscar, you had said that you saw a Waymo on the freeway.

[Dez Bishop]

I did. I have a picture of it, actually.

[Nichelle Turner]

Are they supposed to be on the freeway? Well, then I asked if it had a driver in it, which you said, yes, it did.

[Jeff Lewis]

So it's not really a Waymo. Well, if it has a driver, it's a Waymo.

[Nichelle Turner]

They must be testing on the freeway

[Dez Bishop]

is what it is, because it says Waymo engineering.

[Jeff Lewis]

But someone was driving it.

[Dez Bishop]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

So it's not totally the same thing.

[Dez Bishop]

Well, I mean, it could have been like a Tesla where you put it in self drive and someone's just monitoring it.

[Nichelle Turner]

When Waymo's first came out, they had drivers in them not actually driving. This was wrong with society today.

[Dez Bishop]

Why do you suddenly sound like Martin Luther King? It's like, suddenly it's like I feel

[Nichelle Turner]

the mountain behind the trees. One day, little Waymo girls and little Waymo boys will join together. Honestly, what is happening with. We put it in self drive and we just put my hands on 10 and 2 in my car that they lied to me about that everybody else has, and let us all be on the.

[Jeff Lewis]

My neighbor just got it nine houses up.

[Nichelle Turner]

Shut up.

[Dez Bishop]

I don't want it from my cold day.

[Jeff Lewis]

She got no des. She got so fucked over. So she has a beautiful X5, right? It's like. And it's a great color combo. It has, like the Hermes leather, like, interior with green. But they told her it was, like, special. It was a special custom, one of a kind. And I've literally seen it 11 times. And my neighbors just got it.

[Nichelle Turner]

I'm so mad right now. They totally screwed me.

[Dez Bishop]

But why do you even care if

[Jeff Lewis]

it's a shoe in my neighborhood now?

[Nichelle Turner]

Because she paid extra. Thanks, Shane.

[Dez Bishop]

All cars look the same, though.

[Jeff Lewis]

Anyway, it is a beautiful car.

[Nichelle Turner]

It's so dumb.

[Jeff Lewis]

I see it every day when I walk my dog. Sorry.

[Dez Bishop]

But you know. Cause it's also one of those things. Once you get a car, then you constantly see it.

[Nichelle Turner]

Yeah. And I've seriously seen like 50 of them since I've had this car. I'm so mad.

[Dez Bishop]

So blast out who sold it to.

[Nichelle Turner]

Well, then my car guy invites me to a party at his house. I'm like, I'm not coming to your house after you jacked me with my car.

[Kian]

Yeah.

[Dez Bishop]

And everyone would be wearing the same dress as you.

[Nichelle Turner]

Exactly, exactly. I'd be like that girl at Taylor Swift's. Wedding. That's the same dresses on.

[Jeff Lewis]

So do you still do standup in China?

[Dez Bishop]

I haven't done stand up in China in quite a while actually. Again, it's too much of a serious topic. But it was a little more open when I was there. It's. They've really cracked up because, you know what happened. Stand up got quite popular there, like our style of western style stand up. And as a result, the government started to pay attention. So now it's. In fact, I booked a show in Shanghai, an English language show, and I canceled it because this censorship is so intense that you have to send the script word for word.

[Nichelle Turner]

Oh, yeah.

[Dez Bishop]

And if you. If you stray from the script, then the promoter can get in trouble. So I was like, I. I can't take. I can't have that responsibility.

[Jeff Lewis]

Why did you break up with the lady boy?

[Shane]

Oh, it's offensive. The term is offensive in the US if you're talking about, like actual trans people. But it's okay if you're referring to ladyboys in Thailand. That's what that.

[Jeff Lewis]

Or China in this case.

[Shane]

Or China in this case.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so I can say it?

[Shane]

You can in this scenario.

[Jeff Lewis]

I just can't say it here. I should say it here about them there.

[Nichelle Turner]

You can't say it here about trans people here, but you can say it here about ladyboys.

[Jeff Lewis]

I've said lady boys are gorgeous. I watch them on TikTok all the time.

[Dez Bishop]

For the record, none of this is relevant to the question that you asked me. Just for the record, Xuanxuan was a cisgender Chinese woman, to use the term.

[Jeff Lewis]

What was her name?

[Dez Bishop]

Xuan Quan.

[Nichelle Turner]

That was really her name. I thought you were just making. Okay, shut up, Nishia. I'm not getting canceled. No, no.

[Dez Bishop]

So her full name is Li Bingxuan. Li being the last name which comes first. But often in China they have like, nicknames. So Xuanzhren. It's. It's basically her name twice, but it's the first tone because Mandarin is tonal, so it's Xuan shrin, which sound.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're dealing with a bunch of idiots. Like you're wasting your time.

[Shane]

So absolutely am I. Shane. Shane.

[Dez Bishop]

Shane. I think that should stick. Shane.

[Shane]

Shane.

[Jeff Lewis]

I do too. I really like Shane. Shane.

[Shane]

Yes, me too.

[Dez Bishop]

Especially the way your face brightens up when you say your name. Have you ever had. Have you ever had as much say,

[Jeff Lewis]

he makes a real pretty girl.

[Shane]

Thank you.

[Nichelle Turner]

You know, Shane, you make a really.

[Jeff Lewis]

Shane is a beautiful girl.

[Nichelle Turner]

You've got like your the cheekbones and like the skin is just glass. You make a really pretty woman. Yeah, I agree.

[Dez Bishop]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

So anyway, Jaz is really fixated.

[Dez Bishop]

Xuanxuan. We had a. We had. We had a good relationship, but I couldn't stay in China forever. And initially she said she was going to emigrate, but then she just decided that she didn't want to leave and that's.

[Jeff Lewis]

She found somebody else, which would have been also fun. Right. Do you ever talk to Shenzhen anymore?

[Dez Bishop]

The last time I took to Shrin's room was the pin shrink.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, I'm trying to get it right.

[Dez Bishop]

Yeah. So anyway, I checked in during the pandemic because obviously China, you know, is where it began. And she's doing fun. She's a. She was a comedian too. I said I never dated comrade English speaking comic. And she had kind of blown up online, you know, like in. In the recent years. So she had a good career, but she never got married.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you. Oh, because you probably broke her heart.

[Nichelle Turner]

Yeah, you did.

[Jeff Lewis]

She. She decided she's probably with women now.

[Dez Bishop]

Yeah, totally fine.

[Nichelle Turner]

But why does your voice go up when you.

[Dez Bishop]

Because it's the first tone. Because Mandarin's tonal, so if you say Xuan Shwen, you've said a different thing. Oh, yeah, that's.

[Jeff Lewis]

The Keyan said that you went to China because you're funnier in Mandarin than English. Kian. You did say it.

[Dez Bishop]

You got to look after your own Kian.

[Nichelle Turner]

That is a pissy little boy over there in the corner there.

[Dez Bishop]

Bulla me who? That's Gaelic.

[Nichelle Turner]

What does that mean?

[Dez Bishop]

I'll hit you.

[Jeff Lewis]

What does Xuan Xuan mean in.

[Dez Bishop]

I actually don't know.

[Nichelle Turner]

You gotta say Xuanxuan.

[Dez Bishop]

It's just her name.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, because you were saying that I think a lot of names, they have like deep meaning.

[Dez Bishop]

Oh, that. That's the joke that I have. Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, it's a joke. It's not. Oh, no, no, no.

[Dez Bishop]

The names do.

[Jeff Lewis]

The names do have meaning, but not Xuanquan.

[Dez Bishop]

Mingxuan probably does have a meaning. I actually don't know what it means.

[Jeff Lewis]

She was your girlfriend for two years. You didn't care to look.

[Dez Bishop]

I'd have.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wow, so you're really that self involved. You didn't even care that Ming Xuanquan. You didn't even care even looking up her name, like, the meaning.

[Dez Bishop]

Oh, you want to know? Because obviously we had a lot of translation issues. Right. So the very quick, funny story that I have is one time we were having like a blazing argument, like, who Knows over what? And she. She started shouting at me, wohen wei qu. Right. Which I had no idea what wei chu meant, so I had to look it up on my phone. But so she. Then she went crazy. She was like, I'm trying to talk to you and you're looking at your phone. And I had to say, I have no idea what wei chu means. Right.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Dez Bishop]

So then she stormed out of the house. She went all the way home. And two hours later, I finally got her to come back, and she admitted to me that she wanted to laugh when I said I didn't know what wei chu means. But she said, to laugh is to lose. So that's what you're dealing with.

[Nichelle Turner]

What does wei chu mean?

[Dez Bishop]

It means I feel wronged.

[Nichelle Turner]

Oh, that's.

[Dez Bishop]

But in China, it's a feeling like f you.

[Nichelle Turner]

Screw you. I thought she was giving you a good one. She said, I feel wrong.

[Dez Bishop]

Fuck you said as I like.

[Jeff Lewis]

To laugh is to lose. She loses the argument.

[Dez Bishop]

To laugh is to lose. So she left rather than lose. Ooh, that's the Asian women. No joke.

[Nichelle Turner]

I would have laughed.

[Dez Bishop]

Dragon ladies, man.

[Nichelle Turner]

Okay. I'm not okay.

[Dez Bishop]

What?

[Jeff Lewis]

What?

[Nichelle Turner]

No, they're not. Are they? Is that.

[Dez Bishop]

No, like, as in, like, they're strong, you know?

[Nichelle Turner]

Okay, okay.

[Dez Bishop]

The dragon is a positive thing in Chinese.

[Jeff Lewis]

Was the language, Barry a problem for you?

[Dez Bishop]

By the time I met Xunquin, my. My Mandarin was pretty good, and it got a.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

From.

[Dez Bishop]

From being with her.

[Shane]

Wow.

[Dez Bishop]

So by the time I finished my second year in China, I was pretty good.

[Jeff Lewis]

How'd you meet her?

[Dez Bishop]

Sun Chun was just. She was trying stand up on one of my. One of my shows.

[Kian]

Oh.

[Jeff Lewis]

And she. Was she funny?

[Dez Bishop]

You know what's funny? I could really make Chinese audiences laugh, like, with pretty basic Chinese, but I never understood one of the many comedians that I performed with, I never understood a single joke that they said.

[Jeff Lewis]

I see.

[Dez Bishop]

That they. They spoke too fast. And even when I kind of understood the language, I didn't actually know what they were joking about, you know, whatever sort of childhood references they were using or cultural things. So I don't know if she was funny. She. She got some laughs. She was good looking, you know, Sounds

[Jeff Lewis]

like she wasn't funny. That was a long way of long story. She's not funny.

[Nichelle Turner]

Good point.

[Shane]

There's no serious sex time in China. She can't hear this.

[Nichelle Turner]

Good point.

[Dez Bishop]

Oh, yeah.

[Nichelle Turner]

Languages do you speak? Because you.

[Jeff Lewis]

How do you know we're not in China?

[Shane]

No,

[Dez Bishop]

I. I speak three and I'm learning Spanish now. For my own.

[Jeff Lewis]

And are you back and forth from NYC to Ireland?

[Dez Bishop]

No, I. I go to Ireland a small bit now. But since, honestly, you know, because Hannah's so busy and I'm. I'm really focusing on the US I just go back the odd time to do a few shows and check up on things.

[Jeff Lewis]

Sounds possessive. Maybe with Hannah.

[Dez Bishop]

Oh, my God.

[Shane]

Right?

[Jeff Lewis]

Seems possessive.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

I got to keep an.

[Nichelle Turner]

I mean, she is like a PYT and you.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's a good looking.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Dez Bishop]

Hey, listen, it's a win. She really is a win for me. But the, The. So the joke I say, which is true because we're only together half the time, right? She's on the road, I'm on the road. So we're together about half the time. And when you say that to people under 35, they're like, oh, that must be tough. And when you say to people over 50, they're like, you're gonna have a great man. I believe in long distance, you're gonna

[Nichelle Turner]

have a great marriage in it, I believe I don't even want to live

[Dez Bishop]

because absence makes the heart grow fond, you know? And being together all time makes sure.

[Jeff Lewis]

Not in Michelle's case, she goes right to sleep. Well, you realize. You realize you ruined that.

[Dez Bishop]

You gotta make a man feel more than a masseuse.

[Nichelle Turner]

He had fed me. I was comfortable. He was massaging.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're more excited about the food than you were the sex. Well, that's our age.

[Nichelle Turner]

By the way, have you had a good meal?

[Dez Bishop]

You got like an early night? A good meal and an early night.

[Nichelle Turner]

Perfect.

[Dez Bishop]

That's Woodstock for me, baby.

[Nichelle Turner]

But you know what I have found I've got a bit of a libido though. I don't know.

[Dez Bishop]

So have you not had anything with him like it?

[Nichelle Turner]

Well, it's just because I'm a good girl too, and I gotta.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't think you're into him.

[Nichelle Turner]

I am into him.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't think.

[Nichelle Turner]

Have I showed you a photo of him?

[Shane]

No.

[Jeff Lewis]

No.

[Nichelle Turner]

Oh, he's hot.

[Dez Bishop]

Well, let me ask you this. Why is having sex with him mean that you're a bad girl? Where's that coming from?

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, right, Good question.

[Nichelle Turner]

I am a bad girl.

[Dez Bishop]

No, but I. I get it now. You're joking. Away from whatever Christian shame

[Jeff Lewis]

she has. Intimacy.

[Nichelle Turner]

I do, though.

[Jeff Lewis]

I do actually des Clocked it.

[Nichelle Turner]

I'm a bit of an avoidant.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, that's why she likes b. The Bay Area.

[Nichelle Turner]

I'm a bit of an avoidant. I'm like this. Come, come.

[Shane]

Stop.

[Nichelle Turner]

Come Come, come. Stop. Yes, that is me.

[Dez Bishop]

Okay?

[Nichelle Turner]

But I'm trying to overcome that because I do want a partner. I do want a life partner.

[Dez Bishop]

Yeah.

[Nichelle Turner]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, you got to rub your feet.

[Nichelle Turner]

Yes, baby.

[Jeff Lewis]

And buy you dinner then.

[Dez Bishop]

Our only advice here is post mask massage, hand job, minimum.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's what I said.

[Dez Bishop]

Yeah, exactly.

[Nichelle Turner]

Okay, I'm down with that. We can do that, but it has to be more than.

[Dez Bishop]

I hope he listens so he knows it's worth his while to come in August.

[Nichelle Turner]

But it was a day date for

[Dez Bishop]

a hand job like a teenager.

[Nichelle Turner]

It was a day date. Aren't you supposed to.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, a day flight hour for that?

[Nichelle Turner]

Yeah, it was a day date, sure. Yeah.

[Dez Bishop]

So he only came for the day he was flying out?

[Nichelle Turner]

Yeah, he flew it.

[Dez Bishop]

So the fact that he booked a flight means he knew that he wasn't getting any.

[Jeff Lewis]

He's an avoidant, too.

[Dez Bishop]

No, because he would have booked the

[Shane]

flight for the next day if you hadn't fallen asleep. He would have stayed over.

[Nichelle Turner]

You think he would have stayed?

[Shane]

I guarantee he had a backup. One way ticket the next day. Booked already.

[Nichelle Turner]

He had to work the next day.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think Shane. Shane's right.

[Dez Bishop]

Yeah, Shangchang.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think he's right.

[Nichelle Turner]

Well, I wouldn't have minded if he wanted to stay.

[Shane]

He should have offered.

[Nichelle Turner]

I wouldn't mind. I had like. I got my hair.

[Jeff Lewis]

This is a disaster.

[Nichelle Turner]

No, I gotta make. I gotta make.

[Jeff Lewis]

You'd never look better.

[Kian]

I know.

[Nichelle Turner]

You know, I was trying to look cute.

[Jeff Lewis]

Even with those big bags under your eyes. You'd never look better. Right? I do want to promote Bridge and Tunnel on Hulu, which is now your second American stand up special. You can now stream it on Hulu.

[Dez Bishop]

And YouTube.

[Jeff Lewis]

And YouTube. I know that you watched it.

[Shane]

Yeah, I loved it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Shane. Shane loved it.

[Dez Bishop]

Amazing.

[Jeff Lewis]

Kian loved it. Now, I do want to ask you about your proposal. Now, how long did you know Hannah before you proposed? Did you wait at least a week?

[Dez Bishop]

I waited. It was. I met her July 11th and then I proposed. On Valentine's Day?

[Nichelle Turner]

Almost. Yeah. Six months.

[Dez Bishop]

Six months.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, how original. On Valentine's Day, you know, it was a pandemic, bro.

[Dez Bishop]

What were we gonna do?

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, okay.

[Dez Bishop]

It was a lockdown, you know?

[Jeff Lewis]

And then how'd you do it

[Dez Bishop]

to tell the story? It's. It's not, you know, it's not exciting, you know? So I guess I'm not gonna get away.

[Nichelle Turner]

I love love, Dad.

[Dez Bishop]

I was trying to block it, you know?

[Jeff Lewis]

Is it true that you woke her up in the morning?

[Dez Bishop]

I I did. I did a wake up proposal. Yes. That's sweet.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, that would work for me.

[Dez Bishop]

Okay. But that's.

[Jeff Lewis]

It worked. She. She liked that. She wants to be disturbed.

[Dez Bishop]

We had this running. We. Our, Our relationship was really cemented by humor and jokes and we were joking with each other. So I proposed in a continuation of one of our running jokes.

[Nichelle Turner]

Okay, but did she think it was a joke?

[Dez Bishop]

Like, as in, like she knew once, obviously I was on my knee that the proposal was happening, but.

[Jeff Lewis]

But for a second she said, are you joking?

[Dez Bishop]

No, no. She was delighted. It was Valentine's Day. There's a. Come on, you have to understand. Valentine's Day, it's a day where, you know, it's a romantic day. So why not begin the day with a proposal? And then we had our full Valentine's Day of the excitement of telling everyone we were going to get married.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did you have the ring?

[Dez Bishop]

I had the ring.

[Jeff Lewis]

Nice. Good.

[Dez Bishop]

She, she. We had done. We hadn't done ring shopping, but she had given me a decent parameter of the type of vibe that she was looking at.

[Jeff Lewis]

She had it reset, yet it has not been reset. Okay, that's a good sign.

[Dez Bishop]

She loves the ring.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's a good sign.

[Dez Bishop]

Yeah, I like. By the way, we've been married for, you know, we have a very. You keep making it seem like it's still in the probation period.

[Jeff Lewis]

Four years. I think four years is. I think five. We'll see if you get to five and then we'll see if you get to seven. Okay, but it sounds like, you know, I mean, you're really into her.

[Dez Bishop]

Yeah, well, we, we don't have her to see the reciprocation.

[Jeff Lewis]

Right. But I mean, I can see the love, the one sided love.

[Dez Bishop]

Yeah, you're getting, you're getting one side of the love.

[Jeff Lewis]

Correct, Correct.

[Nichelle Turner]

I, I want some of it to rub off on me because I gotta.

[Dez Bishop]

Well, you gotta open up. You gotta stop being offensive. You know, literally, you gotta, you gotta stop. What are you afraid of? What are you protecting yourself from?

[Nichelle Turner]

He. Really?

[Dez Bishop]

No, but I'm just.

[Jeff Lewis]

Can you get her number? I'm the counselor.

[Nichelle Turner]

I have abandonment issues.

[Dez Bishop]

Dad, you know what you need like, you need like a New York, like a Queens, somebody from the boroughs of New York therapist. That's like when you fucking.

[Jeff Lewis]

You need a New York guy is what you need. That's the problem.

[Shane]

LA bars.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, oh, but you went to the Bay Area, so that's different.

[Dez Bishop]

So you never married before?

[Nichelle Turner]

No. I was asked once, 30 years ago, I said no. And I've never been.

[Dez Bishop]

Okay, so listen, you're a good looking, successful woman, so it's on you.

[Jeff Lewis]

You have very few options.

[Nichelle Turner]

I'd have been living in the Bahamas. I mean. No, in Bermuda. In Bermuda. He was from Bermuda.

[Jeff Lewis]

Can we contact him?

[Dez Bishop]

You know, what's he doing now?

[Nichelle Turner]

He's married now.

[Dez Bishop]

Does he have children?

[Nichelle Turner]

They have a stepchild.

[Dez Bishop]

Oh, okay.

[Nichelle Turner]

I actually had breakfast with them. I went to Bermuda and I had breakfast with my ex and his.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, so you did try to. Oh, recycle that.

[Nichelle Turner]

It's 1056. We're about to be done.

[Jeff Lewis]

And you knew he was married?

[Dez Bishop]

Put me on the hot seat.

[Jeff Lewis]

And you knew he was married.

[Nichelle Turner]

This.

[Jeff Lewis]

Thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Jeff Lewis live every weekday on SiriusXM as well as the Jeff Lewis Channel, exclusively on the SiriusXM app.

[Dez Bishop]

So good, so good, so good.

[Kian]

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[Dez Bishop]

Amazon Health AI presents Painful thoughts I.

[Nichelle Turner]

I can't stop scratching my downtown. Mm, yeah, but I'm not itching to go downtown and tell a receptionist I'm here to talk about my downtown. Some things you'd rather type than say out loud.

[Dez Bishop]

There's no question too embarrassing for Amazon Health AI. Chat your symptoms and get virtual care. 24. 7 Healthcare just got less painful.