Fortune Feimster & Sarah Colonna: Perky & Eggplants

Summary

Jeff Lewis Has Issues – Episode: Fortune Feimster & Sarah Colonna: Perky & Eggplants
Release Date: July 25, 2025
Host: Jeff Lewis
Guests: Fortune Feimster, Sarah Colonna
Platform: SiriusXM

---

Introduction

In this lively episode of "Jeff Lewis Has Issues," host Jeff Lewis welcomes comedians Fortune Feimster and Sarah Colonna to discuss a range of personal and humorous topics. True to Jeff's unfiltered style, the conversation dives deep into relationships, homeownership woes, personal struggles, and even entertaining game show ideas.

---

Guest Introductions

Jeff opens the show by introducing Fortune Feimster and Sarah Colonna, highlighting their backgrounds in comedy and their dynamic rapport.

Jeff Lewis [01:14]: "Hey, welcome to Jeff Lewis has Issues. In today's episode, Fortune Feimster and Sarah Colonna join the show."

---

Homeownership and Moving

The discussion kicks off with Shane congratulating Annie on closing escrow on her condo, segueing into shared frustrations about building management and parking issues.

Annie [01:36]: "You know what's frustrating, though? When the manager doesn't call you back of the building and you can't get your fob and you can't have access to the parking garage."

Sarah Colonna [01:47]: "Yeah, I have keys to the building. I can just park in guests valet, and then, you know, we'll figure the rest out."

---

Relationship Anniversaries and Trips

Annie and Sarah share their strategies for celebrating anniversaries without the stress of gift-giving, opting instead for memorable trips. They recount their recent visit to Cambria and Paso Robles, emphasizing the joys and minor mishaps of road trips.

Annie [05:18]: "We decided of the two trips. We went to Cambria, which is really pretty. We drove four hours in the car."

Sarah Colonna [05:42]: "We went to Paso Robles, too, for a wine tasting day."

---

Fortune Feimster’s Personal Struggles and Tour

Fortune opens up about her mother's battle with cancer, discussing the emotional toll and the support from her community. She also talks about her ongoing comedy tour and the challenges of integrating personal struggles into her material.

Fortune Feimster [11:52]: "She's doing treatment and all that? Yeah, she's about a month in. She has to do two more months of chemo."

Fortune Feimster [12:33]: "This will go till like the end of next year and then I'll film another special."

---

Game Show Idea: Leaving Partner for Money

Jeff introduces a playful yet provocative game show concept where participants would consider leaving their partners for a million dollars. The guests and audience engage in humorous debates about the feasibility and morality of such a scenario.

Jeff Lewis [19:08]: "So my question is, would you leave Franck for a million dollars, tax free?"

Fortune Feimster [19:29]: "He'd break up with this girl over a gift card?"

---

Discussion on Dating Apps for Lesbians

The conversation shifts to the challenges and nuances of dating within the LGBTQ+ community, specifically focusing on dating apps tailored for lesbians. They joke about the scarcity of lesbian bars and the dynamics of meeting potential partners.

Fortune Feimster [16:47]: "Someone's gonna have to tell me because I've been out of game for 10 years."

Sarah Colonna [17:06]: "They're taking what was Z Pizza on Santa Monica Boulevard and turning it into a lesbian bar called Sweetwater."

---

Fortune Feimster Hosting Jimmy Kimmel Live

Fortune excitedly announces her role as a guest host on "Jimmy Kimmel Live," sharing details about her appearances and expressing gratitude for the opportunity.

Fortune Feimster [25:26]: "I'm hosting Jimmy Kimmel Live next week. That's a big deal."

Annie [25:43]: "How's the beaver sound?"

---

Listener Call: Susan’s Story

A heartfelt and humorous call from Susan in California shares her desire to escape her husband's incessant dog-related chaos. The hosts and guests provide supportive and comedic advice on her predicament.

Susan [37:19]: "I'm ready. Just a plane ticket to Hawaii and I'm out of here or anything."

Jeff Lewis [37:55]: "So where are you gonna stay when you get?"

---

SiriusXM Charity Move Event

Shane discusses a SiriusXM charity challenge that links physical activity with charitable donations. The group humorously critiques the campaign's effectiveness and the ranking system.

Shane [45:03]: "If every mile that you move, a dollar goes to a charity of your choice."

Jeff Lewis [46:00]: "Because you guys keep going out."

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Final Banter and Wrap-Up

The episode concludes with lighthearted banter about studio temperatures, fashion woes from being cold, and upcoming events like Doug's Cookin Kibbutz. The guests promote their latest projects, including Annie’s podcast and Fortune’s hosting gig.

Jeff Lewis [49:10]: "You got to join her."

Annie [35:00]: "Yeah. Who. Jimmy Kimmel. He's gonna be on all week."

---

Notable Quotes

• Jeff Lewis [16:33]: “Yes. Yeah, so Subaru.”
• Fortune Feimster [15:55]: “I think I've just accepted what's happening. You're dealing with it."
• Susan [37:19]: "I just need a week to rest and I'll live on the streets."
• Jeff Lewis [19:49]: "I think I'm taking the money."

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Conclusion

This episode of "Jeff Lewis Has Issues" offers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and candid discussions about life's ups and downs. From navigating homeownership challenges to contemplating monumental relationship decisions, Jeff and his guests provide both laughs and relatable insights. Whether it's brainstorming outrageous game show ideas or sharing personal struggles, the trio ensures listeners are both entertained and engaged.

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Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to episodes of "Jeff Lewis Has Issues" ad-free and a week early. Start your free trial on Apple Podcasts or visit siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

Transcript

[Jeff Lewis]

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[Fortune Feimster]

When you're Jeff Lewis, the drama never stops.

[Jeff Lewis]

This dementia's aggressive. Really?

[Sarah Colonna]

So is the drinking.

[Jeff Lewis]

You know, I've never been on a private plane before, and I'm very excited. Are you serious? No, never. What are you, a Martian?

[Shane]

You're really demented.

[Annie]

You're actually demented.

[Fortune Feimster]

Jeff Lewis has issues.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hey, welcome to Jeff Lewis has Issues. In today's episode, Fortune Feimster and Sarah Colonna join the show. We talk about perky assets, leaving your partner for money and. And suffering style. Shane is officially a homeowner. Yesterday he closed escrow on his condo.

[Annie]

Congratulations.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's so exciting.

[Annie]

It is.

[Jeff Lewis]

You know what's frustrating, though? When the manager doesn't call you back of the building and you can't get your fob and you can't have access to the parking garage. Can you even have. You have access to the building, though, right?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, I have keys to the building. I can just park in guests valet, and then, you know, we'll figure the rest out.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you know your parking spot number yet?

[Sarah Colonna]

No, I don't even think that I have one assigned. I need, like, to. He needs to assign me one. The manager.

[Jeff Lewis]

Jose.

[Sarah Colonna]

Jose. Shout out, Jose, please call me back on the spot. I need to get a second parking spot for Brogie. I need to schedule appliance delivery, so just would love to connect.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is so cool.

[Jeff Lewis]

Have you guys. Have you guys traveled together? Like, has Sarah ever opened for you?

[Fortune Feimster]

We've not. She's not open for me. We've done shows together as headliners.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did you know that Sarah had a body of a porn star?

[Fortune Feimster]

Now Sarah is rocking some titties.

[Annie]

My boobs have always looked like This I know. But for one, I think they seem extra perky.

[Fortune Feimster]

They are saying hi to us.

[Annie]

Well, maybe I'm bloated or something.

[Jeff Lewis]

We want to explain. So she's wearing.

[Fortune Feimster]

It looks like a mesh tank.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes. And, like, should she have worn something underneath? Because I'm seeing peekaboo. I'm seeing peekaboo.

[Fortune Feimster]

Peekaboo.

[Jeff Lewis]

Peekaboo.

[Annie]

I mean, I didn't think I needed a camisole until I got here.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, I asked her right before we started, and I can ask her this because we're friends. I was like, are your boobs, like, naturally that perky, or is this the bra? She's like, this is all me, baby. And I'm like, holy shit. My boobs are, like, pointing at both walls. Opposite walls. And this is amazing.

[Annie]

I mean, I have a bra on, but.

[Jeff Lewis]

So who makes that bra?

[Annie]

La mystere.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, I don't know if you heard this side. I don't know.

[Fortune Feimster]

Sports bra. I've got on Under Armour.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think it's Big five Sporting goods.

[Fortune Feimster]

Dick Sporting goods Big five for my big tube.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, Keon, did you hear his side comments when you were talking about how your boobs are naturally perky? And then Keon's like, I don't think so.

[Annie]

I mean, what do you think? First of all, let me have what I have, Okay? I don't have a lot, and I have naturally perky boobs. I just always have John. I know you're listening. Call in.

[Fortune Feimster]

Does John motorboat? Him?

[Annie]

He.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love a motorboat. It's my favorite kind of boating.

[Sarah Colonna]

Rev up the engine.

[Annie]

He does more of a speedboat.

[Jeff Lewis]

You just had an anniversary. Not you. Fortune, but Sarah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, thank you. Actually, I did. Shut up. God.

[Jeff Lewis]

So now you made it twice as long as Fortune did. You guys are at nine years.

[Fortune Feimster]

You were ten. Ten.

[Jeff Lewis]

Married for what? Four.

[Fortune Feimster]

Four. Married four and a half years.

[Annie]

So we were. Yeah, we're double. You married?

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, I see.

[Annie]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, congratulations. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love. I love your love.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you?

[Fortune Feimster]

I do. I love John.

[Annie]

Yeah, she does. They love each other.

[Jeff Lewis]

Maybe if your breasts were a little perkier, I know.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'd still be married. Um, I was. I knew Sarah when they met. That's how long we go back.

[Annie]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. What do you do at nine years, anniversary? Where do you go? What did he get you?

[Annie]

We. We don't do gifts.

[Sarah Colonna]

He does gifts for everything.

[Annie]

We don't do them for our anniversary. For some.

[Sarah Colonna]

Maybe it's mutual.

[Jeff Lewis]

Because I don't want to do anything.

[Annie]

Because I don't want to have to get him anything. No. That we actually don't. For that or Valentine's Day, we don't do. We just. We decide to do, like, a trip. But that. We went to Cambria, which is.

[Jeff Lewis]

Where is that? San Luis Obispo.

[Fortune Feimster]

Four hours north.

[Annie]

Yeah. It's really pretty.

[Jeff Lewis]

You drove.

[Annie]

I know.

[Jeff Lewis]

Four hours in the car.

[Annie]

Well, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

They stopped drinking long enough.

[Annie]

We had wine in the car. For when we get there. For when we get there. Not driving.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, of course not.

[Annie]

We went to Paso Robles, too, for a wine tasting day. But we almost flew. Because I did fly to San Luis Obispo recently because I hate driving.

[Jeff Lewis]

Me too.

[Fortune Feimster]

I just love driving.

[Annie]

But going there, going to the airport and then going. Getting on the flight, and then it was going to be like another 40 minutes back to Cambria from the San Luis Obispo airport. So John was like, you just suck it up.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. But you could drink. You can actually use the restroom.

[Annie]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Prom is stuck in that car for four hours.

[Annie]

I know.

[Jeff Lewis]

What kind of music did you listen to?

[Annie]

We listened to Dateline. Like, podcasts. We listened to, like, Murdery podcasts. Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

I can't imagine you. You would never be able. I can't do long distance like that either.

[Shane]

I gotta tell you, God was with me. I just drove to.

[Fortune Feimster]

God was with me. Truly.

[Shane]

I drove to Idlewild, which is typically two hours. It took me four hours. I did not use the bathroom once.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow.

[Shane]

I didn't drink a full hour before it cut off. And then I just made it.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'd have to stop at least twice.

[Shane]

I couldn't believe it. I was shocked.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wow. That is shocking. Were you all by yourself or. No. Was that with the kids?

[Shane]

I was driving.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh.

[Shane]

I drove myself there because I drove.

[Jeff Lewis]

And then you came home with two twinks.

[Shane]

With two.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, Right.

[Annie]

Oh, you picked him up there.

[Jeff Lewis]

Friends giving him ride home. So you go to Cambria. Where do you stay?

[Annie]

There's. It's all, like, little inns right across from the beach. It's really pretty.

[Fortune Feimster]

It is pretty.

[Annie]

There's this really awesome restaurant called the Sea Chest.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Annie]

Sea Chest. Like me today.

[Jeff Lewis]

And then did you wear that mesh top to see?

[Annie]

I don't.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't think I did, but that's a missed opportunity.

[Annie]

It's a little chilly over there.

[Jeff Lewis]

You should get that in every color.

[Annie]

I did actually get it in blue as well.

[Sarah Colonna]

Didn't you go to the Justin vineyard?

[Annie]

Yeah, we went to Paso, the Holy Mecca. It's so pretty. Yeah, we went there.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did you buy a lot of wine.

[Annie]

Yeah, because we're. Of course, they. I think they need.

[Fortune Feimster]

You have your car, you got to buy wine.

[Annie]

I know. That's another reason John wanted to drive, because he's like, we're going to buy wine.

[Fortune Feimster]

And.

[Annie]

And I guess we look like pretty solid marks to join the wine club. Cause we left there with six bottles of wine and wine club memberships.

[Jeff Lewis]

No. Yeah, adjusted.

[Annie]

Yeah, but it's a really nice. It's like you get delivery first of all. The next delivery is in November, just in time for a Christmas party. Yeah, perfect.

[Fortune Feimster]

Sometimes I drive to Napa so I can buy a bunch of wine.

[Jeff Lewis]

Really?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. I bought like $6,000 worth of wine last visit.

[Annie]

You're talking about me drinking.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is to last a while.

[Annie]

Well, so is ours.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I give them as gift to. If someone invites me over.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yours is not going to last long.

[Annie]

You never got me a gift. You never gave me any. And you've been invited to my house a couple times.

[Fortune Feimster]

Brought liquor to your house.

[Annie]

That's true. You bought me tequila, but.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, but I. Now I'm. Now I'm trying to figure out what you drink more of. So not tequila.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's a toss up.

[Fortune Feimster]

Listen, she likes wine and vod.

[Annie]

Yeah, and I like tequila, but you don't drink it as much as Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[Annie]

That's when I drink.

[Jeff Lewis]

So how many nights are we there?

[Annie]

Three. We had. We want usually go to Cabo, but John, his passport's being renewed and so we couldn't leave.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah, they're Cabo. They're a Cabo couple for sure.

[Jeff Lewis]

We're pivoting for the holidays. We were going to go to Tahoe and we had booked rooms at the Edgewood, and we were going to do that again because we did it last year. But then I got a call from Carrie yesterday, and she goes, you know, we're all excited about doing a family trip after Christmas, but we're kind of leaning towards warm weather.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

So I had. You know, we had gone to the Cabo Nobu in April with Molly.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, with the insta research.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wendy Vanina, who works with me, she just got back from Cabo Nobu and she loved it. She was there for what?

[Sarah Colonna]

She was there for like two weeks.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, wow. Oh, wow.

[Jeff Lewis]

So a long time, we decided. So I called up Grandma, Grandpa, we've pivoted. We're canceling our reservations at Edgewood and we are gonna book Cabo. We're gonna leave, I think either Christmas or the Day after Christmas.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, that'll be nice.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

The weather's apparently really good between November and January there.

[Annie]

Yes, it is. It's really good.

[Jeff Lewis]

And of course, Mooch is going, so he's going to cut his. He'll cut his Christmas plans with his family.

[Annie]

Where are you guys staying?

[Jeff Lewis]

I think Nobu. I was really happy there.

[Annie]

Yeah, we can't. It's too windy is the only problem.

[Jeff Lewis]

Windy's good when it's really hot.

[Annie]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Because it's not like. I mean, some days it's really windy, but the wind wasn't terrible when we were there.

[Sarah Colonna]

It was windy.

[Annie]

It's just like the location. It's not their fault.

[Fortune Feimster]

I like Ventanas.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes, so do I. But we've been there twice. I really did love staying at Nobu. The food was great, and I think the kids would have fun there. For sure.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Cause I think. I think when Rose.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love that sushi.

[Jeff Lewis]

They love a sushi. It's really good.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm such an LA kid. Can I have some seaweed and some sushi?

[Jeff Lewis]

But I think there's more to do there for Monroe and my nieces.

[Fortune Feimster]

They don't want to go to the casino and talk.

[Annie]

And you don't have to get any. Didn't you have, like, all the, whatever, ATVs last time or something?

[Jeff Lewis]

We did the snowmobile. That was very fun. But then, you know, the adults did love. Pissed off a few, but the adults love to gamble. But the kids, I mean, we stuck them in the arcade for hours.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah. But also, like, why not change it up every year?

[Jeff Lewis]

I think so.

[Fortune Feimster]

It could be like, in every other year. You guys do stuff. Stuff. Different stuff.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm excited about. I'm actually kind of more excited now about Cabo than I think Tahoe.

[Shane]

I know.

[Fortune Feimster]

Get a tan. Come on now, Fortune.

[Annie]

Let's go.

[Fortune Feimster]

Let's all go now.

[Annie]

I'm want to go just be like, oh, hey, Jeff.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hey, guys, after that outfit today, you've gone from number 19 to, like, number 15.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow, look at that.

[Annie]

Jeff likes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Even though. Even though Kean says you're kind of false advertising.

[Annie]

I know. I mean, whatever.

[Fortune Feimster]

Jeff just has to like my personality.

[Annie]

I'm gonna show. I'm gonna show them to you in the back.

[Fortune Feimster]

My boobs are not booming.

[Jeff Lewis]

How is your mom doing?

[Fortune Feimster]

She's doing all right.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's doing treatment and all that?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, she's about a month in. She has to do two more months of chemo, and then they'll assess what the next plan Is. It's just, you know, her body's going through it right now.

[Jeff Lewis]

Is it true that you've had a lot of support, family, friends, dropping off food for your mom and you've been eating it all?

[Fortune Feimster]

That's why I've been visiting a lot more. I'm like, what you got there?

[Jeff Lewis]

I would too.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. People have been amazing. They. We're from a small town, so all these people, you know, take her to chemo or drop things off. It's. It's a really lovely community.

[Annie]

That's awesome. Yeah, we love Ginger.

[Jeff Lewis]

And you've been touring.

[Fortune Feimster]

I have.

[Jeff Lewis]

Taking care of biscuits. Right?

[Fortune Feimster]

Taking care of biscuits.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you halfway through the tour?

[Fortune Feimster]

No, not even half. This will go till like the end of next year and then I'll film another special. So I've got a while next year? Yeah, every tour is like a year and a half. Wow. I do 100 cities, 150 shows, and really? Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

So it's like this feels like a two year tour.

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, feels like a lifetime. By the time you film a special and prep the material in the beginning and film a special at the end, it is like a two year thing.

[Jeff Lewis]

So then right now, are you thinking of material now for the next tour?

[Fortune Feimster]

No, for current tour.

[Jeff Lewis]

Current. Okay, current tour. But you have Crushing it, which is your Netflix special. So then, will the next special be Taking Care of Biscuits then?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, but I'll probably rename it something else for the actual special because this is the beginning, this is the early days. I'm still like, the material is good and people are enjoying the shows, but the material will continue to evolve.

[Annie]

Work it out.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, we did come up here at Jeff Lewis Live. We did come up with a name, couple names for your next tour. Now, we took in consideration all of your personal struggles right now, the adversity you're going through. I knew this was coming because, I mean, obviously you're getting material from what's happening now for the next year. So we thought of a couple names.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, give it to me.

[Jeff Lewis]

Fortune. Ish. Misfortune. A series of misfortunate events.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

Fortune faded.

[Fortune Feimster]

Fortune faded.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wheel of Misfortune.

[Fortune Feimster]

Passed out on a couch. Wheel of Misfortune.

[Jeff Lewis]

I like it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Not bad.

[Jeff Lewis]

And unfortunate. Okay, so, I mean, just something to consider.

[Fortune Feimster]

Listen, I will keep these in mind as I continue to write material in.

[Annie]

Case you want to go dark.

[Fortune Feimster]

Talk about my sad life. It has been weird, I will say, doing these live shows, because there's this elephant in the room. I'm not talking about Myself, where I'm just like, I have to address, you know, my life. But when you start a show by going, hey, I'm going through a divorce and my mom has cancer, it bums everyone out. And then I. So I. The audience dips, and then I have to pick them back up, and I'm like, I shouldn't start my show like this.

[Annie]

But you can talk about it. It.

[Fortune Feimster]

I can. I'm just trying to figure out how to talk about it.

[Jeff Lewis]

But I will say, you know, and just speaking as your friend, you seem a little lighter today.

[Fortune Feimster]

Really?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. You seem like maybe you've just accepted what's happening. You're dealing with it. I don't know. You seem. Do. You seem to seem lighter?

[Annie]

You seem like you're. Yeah, you seem like my.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, that's good. I mean, listen, there's a lot of stuff out of my hands, and I've accepted that. You know what's nice about Jackson, I. Is it's amicable. So that's helpful right now. Shut up. God. It is amicable. And my mom, you know, I can't do anything about her situation other than, like, I go visit and try to help out and put, you know, her in touch with doctors. And so I'm just. Yeah, I think I've just accepted what.

[Annie]

Is really, really helps to have that community around too, because you know that when you're not there, that she's also in good hands.

[Fortune Feimster]

Right.

[Annie]

That feels good.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Annie]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And, you know, you just get these reminders of things in life where life is short and I don't want to sit around and be sad.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

So that's also part of it, too, is I have to just pick myself up and deal with it and make the best of it.

[Jeff Lewis]

So are you now open to going on dates?

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, it's, you know, just open.

[Jeff Lewis]

Like if you happen to.

[Sarah Colonna]

Somebody wants to see Lesbian fell in your lap.

[Fortune Feimster]

If a lesbian fell in my lap, I'm not gonna kick her off my lap. Le.

[Annie]

What am I crazy?

[Jeff Lewis]

And where will you. Where do you meet girls? Like Home Depot or something?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, that's exactly where I'm going.

[Sarah Colonna]

They're opening a lesbian bar in West Hollywood.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, right. It's under construction.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you serious?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes. Well, I do tend to like the feminine styles.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes. Yeah, so Subaru.

[Annie]

Lots.

[Fortune Feimster]

Thanks a lot.

[Jeff Lewis]

But where do lesbians meet? Is there, like, a grinder for lesbians?

[Fortune Feimster]

Someone's gonna have to tell me because I've been out of game for 10 years.

[Jeff Lewis]

Does anyone know? Are there any Lesbians here.

[Fortune Feimster]

Are there. Is there a lesbian. Put out the lesbian bat signal.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't think.

[Fortune Feimster]

Put your carabiners in the air.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's called her.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, that's the lesbian app.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, really?

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't think I can go on apps. I don't think that's for me. It's Grinder for queer women. That's what it says right here.

[Annie]

It's hard when you're recognizable to be on the apps because then you can't trust people.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know that I want to do apps. I'm not.

[Jeff Lewis]

Does Fortune do. Because she's famous. Does she do. What is the one R. I don't.

[Fortune Feimster]

Think I can do. I don't. I don't think I want any apps. I don't think I want apps from Chili's. And that's about it. Which is why I'll be single for a while.

[Shane]

They're taking what was Z Pizza on Santa Monica Boulevard and turning it into a lesbian bar called Sweetwater. Oh, is that a lesbian restaurant?

[Fortune Feimster]

SMP's Pizza Bar. Can't they have both?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Keep the pizza oven. I know. I think lesbians would prefer having pizza.

[Annie]

Wait, is there not a lesbian bar there now? Wasn't there the Golden Nut?

[Jeff Lewis]

I'd hate to lose a pizza spot.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Especially for a lesbian bar.

[Fortune Feimster]

Because lesbian bars don't thrive because once lesbians meet other lesbians, they stop going out.

[Sarah Colonna]

They don't leave the house.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, see, the gays keep going out.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's the problem. The. So that's why all these. There's. There is only like 12 lesbian bars in the whole country.

[Sarah Colonna]

I think High Tops is lesbian owned. There's usually girls there.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Oh, but see, the gay guys are the clientele you want because you guys always go out.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, we are.

[Fortune Feimster]

Even in relationships. Cause half the guys are still looking for other people while they're in a relationship. Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Looking for something better.

[Fortune Feimster]

But the lesbians love. They will go out to find.

[Jeff Lewis]

We're not talking about Frank.

[Fortune Feimster]

Don't worry.

[Sarah Colonna]

No one even said his name.

[Fortune Feimster]

The lesbians will go out. Lesbians go out and try to hook carabiners to another lesbian and then go home and never see the light of day again.

[Annie]

Gold Coast. That was the name of the lesbian bar.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's a gay bar, I think.

[Annie]

Oh, I thought it was a lesbian bar.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't think so.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so, Annie. Annie, you have. You're partnered. Kian, you're dating someone.

[Fortune Feimster]

Are we looking in the room for me?

[Jeff Lewis]

No, because I'm Oscar's bisexual. I'm gonna ask the people that are partnered or to get. Well, I guess that's everybody but you. Fortune.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, look at that.

[Jeff Lewis]

So I read today.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm fine.

[Jeff Lewis]

Nearly half of Americans I grilled by.

[Fortune Feimster]

Myself the other night. Did you really? Yeah, last night, nearly half of Americans. I should have invited you.

[Annie]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

43% would leave their romantic partner for $1 million.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, I believe that 100%.

[Jeff Lewis]

So my question is, would you leave Franck for a million dollars, tax free?

[Fortune Feimster]

He's gonna say no. No.

[Shane]

Of course I'm gonna say no. But why am I the only one being asked?

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm asking everybody. I'm starting with you.

[Shane]

Okay. No. The answer is no.

[Jeff Lewis]

No. For a million dollars, tax free.

[Shane]

I mean, a million dollars.

[Jeff Lewis]

But you don't care about money. You don't care about money.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know.

[Jeff Lewis]

Let me ask someone who cares about money. Keon.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, Keon's definitely taking the money.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

1,000%.

[Shane]

Which means the answer is yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so you would.

[Fortune Feimster]

He'd break up with this girl over a gift card?

[Jeff Lewis]

Sketches.

[Linda]

Gift card.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you leaving Brogan for a million dollars, tax free?

[Sarah Colonna]

No.

[Fortune Feimster]

No way.

[Sarah Colonna]

No way he'll make that much. I'll just take him later.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now we know John's worth a lot of money. So you're not taking the million because.

[Annie]

No. Cause I leave him, I get more than that.

[Jeff Lewis]

Annie, are you leaving him for a million dollars?

[Kian]

No, because I feel like his potential, if I stick it out, I could get more.

[Fortune Feimster]

High risk, high reward.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you sure?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. I thought about it, and tax free.

[Kian]

Poor guy.

[Jeff Lewis]

I could do a lot with it.

[Fortune Feimster]

I feel that this relationship might be on its last leg.

[Jeff Lewis]

I just thought about it because I was like, would I for.

[Annie]

I mean, tax free.

[Jeff Lewis]

I mean, it's long distance. I see him eight days a month.

[Fortune Feimster]

Versus a million dollars.

[Kian]

Imagine this is the first episode he tunes into.

[Jeff Lewis]

I mean, you know, ask me in a year, but right now, maybe. Maybe. Listen, you're probably taking the money.

[Sarah Colonna]

I love a beach house.

[Jeff Lewis]

Probably taking the money. We could put a nice down payment on a Newport beach house.

[Annie]

And then you'd also save money on flights.

[Jeff Lewis]

That'd be. Make me really happy.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, it would.

[Jeff Lewis]

So I think. I think I'm taking the money.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, this is Noah.

[Jeff Lewis]

There should be a game show.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm single.

[Jeff Lewis]

You could host it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah, I'll host. I got lots of time on my hands now that I'm alone.

[Annie]

Between grilling.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm just working and grilling over here. So I can host that show.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, no, the show would be problematic because then they would just take the money and they'd get back together.

[Annie]

No, you'd have to have some sort of legal repercussions. If you got back together, you'd take.

[Fortune Feimster]

The money back watching you for next year.

[Jeff Lewis]

You got to follow up or you lose the money.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. We have to figure the details, but.

[Jeff Lewis]

It'S a great idea for a game show.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. And you should put. You should get this money and get that beach house so Sarah and I can come visit and we can see them tattoos out on the beach. She's gotta let me look at them. I'm single. That's what friends.

[Annie]

That's what friends are for.

[Jeff Lewis]

I was watching Deal or no Deal the other day.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, exciting.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's crazy because, you know, it's like life changing Money, you know, $63,000 or something is like life changing money. So I thought to myself, we could probably, if we did, put together this game show, because we can't give away a million dollars every episode because we'll go broke.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

But I'm wondering. Because people will take a lot less, especially if they're unhappily coupled.

[Shane]

What are you thinking?

[Fortune Feimster]

Like a hundo?

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't even know if we have to pay that much. Maybe what we do is negotiate with them.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

And then they can save, like, how much?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, we'll call it something else.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, we gotta call it something else.

[Annie]

Basically. Is this person make or break?

[Fortune Feimster]

We have the same show.

[Sarah Colonna]

We have little backpacks with the money in it.

[Annie]

But you see that show. What's that one? What's that one where they can't, like, make out or anything. And then they lose money every time. Too hot to handle. Yeah. People on there will literally, like, lose $10,000 just to just touch. Just to touch a bit. Yeah, Seriously. Just to, like, dry home.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's money, guys.

[Kian]

The who loses the money?

[Annie]

Yeah.

[Kian]

Everyone's so mad.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't know.

[Fortune Feimster]

Who is it usually the guys breaking the.

[Annie]

No, it's the girls too. They get on there, they find out they're on this show where they can't do any sort of sexual contact at all. No kissing or nothing. And then the minute they tell them that they're like, I'm so horny, and then they all start making out.

[Fortune Feimster]

Are they British?

[Annie]

A lot of them are.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm so horny, baby.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, Austin£ someone said that someone took our idea. I guess it's a show. It was. It was called For Love or Money. Can you look that up? Who took our idea before we had it?

[Fortune Feimster]

That's the problem with who took our idea that we came up with two minutes ago.

[Jeff Lewis]

Can I sue?

[Annie]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my goodness. Wasn't the show called Too Hot to Handle?

[Annie]

Yeah, that's the. No, that's the one where they lose money if they wait for love or money.

[Sarah Colonna]

It was from 1958. So we can reboot this. People love a reboot.

[Shane]

It was rebooted in 2003. This year was a dated game show where the chosen winner had to choose between starting a relationship with a central bachelor or bachelorette or taking home a cash prize while not being permitted any further contact with the central contestant.

[Annie]

No. Starting a relationship.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, this is a different show.

[Annie]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

We're breaking up marriages.

[Annie]

Yeah, this is.

[Jeff Lewis]

But for the right reasons, because they're unhappy.

[Sarah Colonna]

If you want to break up with someone, wouldn't you just sign up and then blame the show?

[Fortune Feimster]

Right. Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

I don't know. I don't know about this.

[Fortune Feimster]

There are loopholes.

[Jeff Lewis]

We got to figure it out because.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, no.

[Jeff Lewis]

We're just workshopping.

[Fortune Feimster]

You let me know when you have it figured out.

[Annie]

Happy couples go on that Temptation Island.

[Fortune Feimster]

Thank you.

[Annie]

Yeah, they go on there, and then they cheat on each other, and then they.

[Jeff Lewis]

Or we should have Jax host it.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't think she'd want to.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. All right. Never mind. You have more experience.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's true.

[Sarah Colonna]

Hosted game shows.

[Fortune Feimster]

Have I hosted a game show? I have not.

[Annie]

I am, but I think I'd be good at it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, I am hosting. I am hosting Jimmy Kimmel Live next week.

[Jeff Lewis]

Congratulations. That's a big deal.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. I'm doing three nights Tuesday through Thursday, so. Chumps. I would love for you guys to watch. Just. I don't know.

[Sarah Colonna]

Do you know who the guests are gonna be?

[Fortune Feimster]

I do, but I can't say. But it's gonna be really fun.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, great. Great way to promote it.

[Fortune Feimster]

What? It's. I'm telling you, I'm hosting it. That should be enough.

[Jeff Lewis]

It'd be nice to know who you're. Who you're.

[Fortune Feimster]

There's some really good guests. I'm.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, okay. I guess we'll just take your word for it. Why can't you announce the guests?

[Fortune Feimster]

Because that's their thing. They want to announce it.

[Annie]

They'll do it later.

[Jeff Lewis]

When do they do it again? Sundays or something.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know. But Tuesday through Thursday, watch Jimmy Kimmel Live with me.

[Jeff Lewis]

I will if you tell me who the guests are.

[Fortune Feimster]

Suits Some suits on and everything.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're wearing a suit?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, because it's late night.

[Jeff Lewis]

Will you be wearing a sports bra underneath the.

[Fortune Feimster]

I will 100% be wearing a sports bra. Oh, by the way, one more thing for the chumps. A lot of chumps have sent my mom cards, because about a month ago, people asked online if there was a P.O. box that they could send her cards to. So I put it on my Instagram. She got a buttload of cards in general.

[Jeff Lewis]

How much is a buttload?

[Fortune Feimster]

Like a table. Table. Table.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hundreds.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

So a buttload.

[Annie]

Thousands.

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, probably a. Yeah, probably a thousand cards. And I was home, and she was going through cards, and she goes, what is this, chumps? And I was like, oh. And I had to tell her. She goes, oh, okay. She goes. I kept wondering why people were calling me a chump. So, chums. You made me laugh very hard with that one. Thank you.

[Jeff Lewis]

Will you be in Dallas anytime soon?

[Fortune Feimster]

No, but Zachy Poo and I are going to be in San Antonio together.

[Jeff Lewis]

Because Linda in Texas and Houston. Linda, Texas, line one. She says she knows of a great lesbian bar for you.

[Fortune Feimster]

All right. What's up, Linda? Are you a lesbian? That's kind of a lesbian sounding name. No offense.

[Linda]

You know, I am offended. No, I'm kidding. No, I. I have a lot of lesbian friends, though.

[Fortune Feimster]

But. Okay, great.

[Linda]

I think. Okay, so just take a cue from Jeff. Like, he stepped out of his familiar little territory, went to Dallas, found a boyfriend, and right behind the roundup is a lesbian bar called Sue Ellen.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah, I've heard of Sue Ellen. I've been there, I think, back in the day.

[Linda]

Okay, you should come back.

[Fortune Feimster]

Linda, are you telling me I need to have a long distance situation?

[Linda]

You could do that or bring the situation back to you.

[Annie]

Okay, yeah, but Jeff just said he'd give up his boyfriend for a million dollars.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's a lot of money.

[Annie]

That is a lot of money.

[Jeff Lewis]

And I. I said tax free.

[Annie]

Right, you did say that.

[Jeff Lewis]

So I'm not gonna. I'm not getting a million dollars to give the government 500,000.

[Annie]

Right. Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm not doing that.

[Annie]

Right.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, but a million dollars? Probably. Yeah.

[Annie]

Ties worth at least 500 and a little bit more.

[Jeff Lewis]

Thank you, Linda.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, thanks, Linda.

[Jeff Lewis]

You got to check out Sue Ellen.

[Fortune Feimster]

Sue Ellen's. I will be going to Dallas at some point next year, so.

[Jeff Lewis]

But maybe we could walk over to Sue Ellen's when we're at the Roundup.

[Sarah Colonna]

And just say hi to them.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, I love the lesbians, you know.

[Fortune Feimster]

Lesbians will be happy.

[Jeff Lewis]

I love lesbians way more than gays.

[Fortune Feimster]

Lesbians are great. Gays are great. We're all great.

[Jeff Lewis]

But they're not all good.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm gonna have to be in San Antonio and Houston instead for now with. With Zach Noi Towers.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, really?

[Fortune Feimster]

That's September.

[Annie]

Nice.

[Jeff Lewis]

I knew, I knew he was angling for that when he took you out for your birthday dinner. I asked him and I said I would take you to dinner. I want nothing from you. And then you said you weren't available. And then you go, is that.

[Fortune Feimster]

I didn't say I was available. I said, let's figure it out. We just have it fig. Figured it out yet? We will figure it out.

[Annie]

Funny.

[Fortune Feimster]

I took me also to Mobile, New Orleans, Atlanta, St. Petersburg, Florida and Orlando. He's doing quite a few with me.

[Annie]

Hey, Jeff.

[Sarah Colonna]

Amazing.

[Annie]

I texted Fortune on her birthday too. I said happy birthday and she said thanks. Keeping it low key this year.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I did.

[Annie]

Basically saying, don't ask me if I can do anything.

[Fortune Feimster]

Here's what happened. I. I just wasn't feeling like doing anything and I really didn't do anything. And then I think you did do.

[Jeff Lewis]

Something when it was Zach, I texted.

[Fortune Feimster]

Zach, I think, think two, two nights before maybe. And I was like, it would be fun to have a little dinner.

[Annie]

I forgot to publish my Instagram post about her.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's why.

[Fortune Feimster]

And we had a lovely dinner and he made me a cake.

[Jeff Lewis]

I gotta. Let's figure it out. You gotta. I'm keeping it on the down low, keeping it chill.

[Annie]

Well, you got like a hopeful. Let's figure it out.

[Jeff Lewis]

Let's figure it out.

[Annie]

I got. I'm not doing.

[Jeff Lewis]

Don't even ask.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think that we should go out to eat soon to dinner.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm busy.

[Annie]

I'll wear my. I'll wear my blue version of this top.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, girl.

[Jeff Lewis]

All right, I'll go.

[Kian]

Ok.

[Jeff Lewis]

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[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, really big. I'm gonna be there.

[Jeff Lewis]

Fortune's gonna be there. I'm gonna be there.

[Fortune Feimster]

Shaney.

[Jeff Lewis]

Who else do you have? The whole list, I think.

[Sarah Colonna]

Lauren Jameson and Alyssa Patrick and Paul Ryan Bailey, Lauren Lake, Chef Willie. Monica's coming. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah. I haven't seen Monica.

[Annie]

Whose name did you not read? It was weird.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, it seems complete to me.

[Fortune Feimster]

Sarah was invited last minute.

[Annie]

Last minute last night. He said, you're always the last one. I know. And he's tried to pull it off. Doug said, you're not even number 19 on this list. And I'm like, well, what number am I still.

[Sarah Colonna]

Last count, there's like 13 people going.

[Annie]

I can't, so I guess I'm 14.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, well, it's better than 19.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is my first cooking kibbutz. He's asked me several times and I've been out of town.

[Jeff Lewis]

Really?

[Sarah Colonna]

We've all done it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Really? We've not done it yet.

[Jeff Lewis]

I thought for sure you've done it. No, Sarah did it.

[Annie]

Yeah, he did it at our house. Yeah. I welcomed him into my home.

[Sarah Colonna]

You're a cooking kibbutz alum.

[Annie]

I am. And this is. What did I get out of it?

[Jeff Lewis]

Number 14.

[Annie]

Yeah. And when did you get invited, Fortune?

[Fortune Feimster]

Four days ago.

[Annie]

Exactly. Hi, Doug.

[Fortune Feimster]

Doug called me too. I couldn't answer because I was at home.

[Jeff Lewis]

What, did you get an email or a text?

[Annie]

I got a text, but I don't wanna talk to him on the phone. I don't wanna talk to him.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't talk to anybody on the phone.

[Annie]

I don't even talk to John on the phone.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, they literally don't talk on the phone.

[Jeff Lewis]

You've taken my call once.

[Annie]

That's true.

[Jeff Lewis]

Once.

[Fortune Feimster]

Because it was like she did something with her.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, it was during Chump Con. She got the call and she goes, okay, I'm gonna pick it up. When you were.

[Fortune Feimster]

You called me before. What a treat.

[Jeff Lewis]

I called?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wow. Okay. Yeah. Once in a while.

[Fortune Feimster]

Holidays.

[Jeff Lewis]

You know what?

[Fortune Feimster]

Usually it's some Good scoop.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think I was driving. I didn't want to text.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I enjoyed the conversation.

[Jeff Lewis]

And you enjoyed it so much that you blew me off for your birthday dinner.

[Annie]

Whatever.

[Jeff Lewis]

But we're going to spend tonight together. I'm so excited.

[Fortune Feimster]

I hope there's some good food tonight.

[Jeff Lewis]

What do you think?

[Fortune Feimster]

I would think so if it's at a restaurant.

[Annie]

Do you know what he's making?

[Fortune Feimster]

Some eggplant thing. But I don't want just that. I do too, but I need like pasta.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm with you on that. I can't survive on eggplant.

[Fortune Feimster]

We need pasta.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, told me she's gonna have for us too.

[Annie]

When you're bartending, right?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, we'll have a blue tea.

[Jeff Lewis]

Speaking of eggplant, what happened yesterday?

[Kian]

Oh my God. So I was reading all the comments on the behind the scenes video because it's like a new series we're doing.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Kian]

And I'm like, oh, okay. Like when people.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's reading them aloud and they're not always nice.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, I would imagine.

[Jeff Lewis]

And I'm sitting across from her.

[Kian]

I was reading the nice one. So one's like he and so hot. Oh, Annie, this is so great. I don't remember what it said about Shane, but it was like pop. Then I get down to the bottom and there's one about Jeff and it says the turd Jeff is a eggplant. So I imagine like immediately see the eggplant, I'm like, oh, this is probably like a compliment. Like honestly, oh my God, bulge is so great. Or something like that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kian]

So I'm gonna like give him the compliment. And then I like out loud.

[Jeff Lewis]

She reads it out loud.

[Kian]

Jeff is an eggplant. Isn't that supposed to be some like. I know eggplant means dick. And I was like, oh.

[Annie]

You were.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, what a compliment to his.

[Annie]

I would have thought it was that too though. I would have thought he was like, they were just like complimenting your own.

[Jeff Lewis]

Susan in California, line one. Hi, Susan.

[Linda]

Hi, Jeff. How you doing?

[Jeff Lewis]

Good.

[Linda]

I know. I just want to let let you know that I will be the first person on your show. I've been with my husband 41 years. Two years before. Two days before Christmas he brought home an eight week old Husky with a pee problem. Two weeks ago he brought home two German Shepherd. Eight week old. I'm ready. Just a plane ticket to Hawaii and I'm out of here. Never see him again or anything. That's all I want. I don't need the million dollars. I just Need a first class plane ticket.

[Jeff Lewis]

See, this is a great contestant because we're getting away with. So where. Where you. Oh, you live in California. So Hawaii. We could get her literally probably a thousand bucks round trip. 1500.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

And it would be. It would be a great story. 41 years. We're so in love. All these damn puppies. Aloha. She's out. She's gone.

[Jeff Lewis]

I like this. See, this is a great show.

[Annie]

But where are you gonna stay when you get.

[Linda]

I don't need round trip.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay. One way ticket and a couple nights hotel.

[Annie]

Yeah. Where are you gonna stay? I feel like you need to think this one out.

[Jeff Lewis]

We should get her an Airbnb.

[Linda]

I just need a week to rest and I'll live on the streets. I don't care. I took a show up in Utah, so. Yeah, just the quicker we can get the show, the better.

[Fortune Feimster]

Hey, just so you know, it takes a while to get a show up and running, so you might just leave now.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you would rather be homeless than stay with your husband?

[Linda]

Absolutely. At this point with all these puppies and pee? You betcha.

[Sarah Colonna]

There's pee on the street too though. This is problematic.

[Jeff Lewis]

We should do a GoFundMe for Susan.

[Annie]

She really hates dogs.

[Jeff Lewis]

Thank you for calling.

[Fortune Feimster]

Would you go lesbian school.

[Annie]

I need something.

[Jeff Lewis]

Fortune has a few bedrooms in her home. Bye, Susan.

[Fortune Feimster]

Bye.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's gonna stay with her husband's like.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'll do anything except be a lesbian.

[Annie]

I'd rather sleep on the streets of Hawaii.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'll be homeless. I'll leave him right now.

[Sarah Colonna]

But I'll be straight.

[Jeff Lewis]

Damn it.

[Fortune Feimster]

But I'm not gonna be a lesbian.

[Jeff Lewis]

Why can't you go tonight?

[Annie]

Because I have to record my podcast and I would have done it at a different time if I would have known in advance. Chance.

[Jeff Lewis]

But there's no way to move it.

[Annie]

I know she's on the east coast. I did text her to see if maybe she can do it a little earlier. Yeah, but she has a. She has like a day job too.

[Sarah Colonna]

Because I think we're gonna sound like.

[Fortune Feimster]

My apartment manager hanging out afterwards too.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know.

[Annie]

I have a 6am flight tomorrow to go to Oregon to do my show at the Grand Historic in Salem. There's a few tickets left.

[Jeff Lewis]

Sarah kalona.com.

[Annie]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. What else? You want to promote your podcast?

[Annie]

Well, yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

You at least tell us the guests, I hope.

[Annie]

Yeah. Who? Jimmy Kimmel. He's gonna be on all week while she. Because that's what. That's why he can't do the show, August 14th, I just got do si do in the woodlands. It's at the Big Barn, which is an awesome, amazing venue right outside of Houston. And then August 15th in San Antonio at Stable Hall. So come see me.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

Vegas residency, Edmonton and Montreal, Canada. This next two weeks. Spokane, Norfolk, Virginia.

[Jeff Lewis]

What are we gonna find out?

[Fortune Feimster]

Boston, Chicago, Atlanta.

[Jeff Lewis]

When are we gonna find out the guests for. When will we find out? Monday.

[Fortune Feimster]

Because I gotta pick Monday.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, I will watch, but I need to know who's gonna be on the show.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm also gonna be Vermont, Burlington.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think Anthony Anderson did Jimmy. Jimmy Kimmel Live, too?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, I think so.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, I'm gonna do a show in Iceland in August, but I don't think they're listening right now.

[Jeff Lewis]

You never know.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm doing. You are.

[Annie]

Do you need, like, someone, like an assistant?

[Fortune Feimster]

My best friend's going, but come with us.

[Annie]

I want to go. I've never been there before.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you understand? Line two.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

It's this viral thing that's going around. It's a crazy thing. If you want to talk about it.

[Jeff Lewis]

I do. Lucy in Chicago, line two. I don't know what it is.

[Sarah Colonna]

I'll show you.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hi, Lucy.

[Linda]

Hi. Hi. So, yeah, last night at the Coldplay concert in Boston, I guess Chris Martin had the jumbotron shine on this couple that was all over each other. And then they immediately separated, covered their face. The guy, like, dropped down. And then Chris Martin was like, yeah, so they're either having an affair or something else. And then. So that's exactly what they were doing. And turned out it was like the CEO of a company called Astronomer and then HR director, her.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, no. I watch the way she.

[Sarah Colonna]

So the camera pans to them. They're happy, in love. And he drops to the floor.

[Annie]

Oh, my God. You guys have to Google this.

[Jeff Lewis]

She just.

[Shane]

She turns around and puts her hands over her mouth.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow.

[Sarah Colonna]

And then Chris Martin says, oh, wow, they're obviously having an affair or something like that.

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, you never know where these Jumbotrons are going to lead.

[Annie]

What? What are you doing? Going out. I mean.

[Fortune Feimster]

It looks like they're up there. It looks like they're sitting at, like, a box or something. So they probably having an affair.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you take them to a concert?

[Annie]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And.

[Annie]

And front row in a suite with.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, all those people.

[Annie]

Oh, he. Maybe he thought because the suite has, like, a different engine.

[Fortune Feimster]

Look at their face. Look at their face when they first see themselves.

[Annie]

Oh, my God, that is.

[Sarah Colonna]

It's really crazy.

[Annie]

And he's The CEO of what?

[Linda]

A company called Astronomer.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now this is juicy. Thanks, Lucy.

[Fortune Feimster]

Lucy. I wonder what his wife's gonna do. Do you think she stays or goes?

[Annie]

You go.

[Sarah Colonna]

It's so public.

[Annie]

Gotta go. Yeah, it's too embarrassing.

[Fortune Feimster]

You gotta go. But he's a CEO.

[Jeff Lewis]

You gotta depend.

[Fortune Feimster]

It depends on how much ladies stay.

[Annie]

Depends on how much that company's worth.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yep. Sometimes they want the lifestyle and they look the other way, so who knows? Do you find it cold in the studio? No, because Jameson has four layers on.

[Shane]

But I'm at my desk all day. It was 69 degrees in the office yesterday.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, it was.

[Jeff Lewis]

They do that.

[Shane]

And not a complaint, just an observation. I'd rather be cold than hot. But, like, that's cold.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think it keeps everyone awake, which is good.

[Annie]

Yeah, I don't. It doesn't feel cold in here right now.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think it feels good. But you're always freezing, huh?

[Sarah Colonna]

He's so little.

[Shane]

Yeah, I'm tiny.

[Jeff Lewis]

Is it poor circulation when you're that cold all the time? Are your hands cold?

[Shane]

Yes. I have very cold hands. It's probably poor circulation. I'm probably gonna die soon. Guys, this is my last show.

[Fortune Feimster]

Bye, Annie.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you cold?

[Kian]

I'm freezing. My style has suffered, you'll notice. I used to dress cuter and now I'm just like in hoodies every single day.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, but it keeps you awake, right?

[Kian]

I guess. I don't know. I just kind of get bored.

[Fortune Feimster]

Dial has sucked.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wait, wait. I'm just curious. So the show's boring and you would go to sleep otherwise?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Fortune.

[Annie]

Remember how cold it used to be in the studio at Chelsea lately?

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah. Frigid.

[Annie]

Yeah, she had. She really wanted it cold in there.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Yeah, she's a. Yeah, she runs hot.

[Annie]

Runs hot. Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

You went on Ellen before, right? Ellen DeGeneres.

[Fortune Feimster]

I never went on Ellen with Ellen. Chelsea actually guest hosted once, and that was the only time they had me on.

[Jeff Lewis]

I just remember that studio being abnormally freezing.

[Fortune Feimster]

Really?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes, that studio was cold, but I don't think this is that bad.

[Shane]

No, but TV studios are iconically cold. All that equipment. They're always cold. But everyone that comes in here says they're cold. But I'd rather be cold. But that's why I'm dressing with layers.

[Jeff Lewis]

But. And it looks like it's affected your fashions as well.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, I'm just saying, with all the layers. With all the layers.

[Sarah Colonna]

It looks cute today.

[Fortune Feimster]

I really like that. Has your style been affected?

[Jeff Lewis]

It's suffering what's going on with this SiriusXM charity thing?

[Shane]

So we got an alert that we could participate in a Sirius xm. It's like a move, like a charity for moving exercise. So if every mile that you move, a dollar goes to a charity of your choice and it links directly to the pedometer in your phone. So I'm a runner, so this is great because I'm running anyway. And then the miles go to, to charity.

[Sarah Colonna]

Can you just shake your phone?

[Shane]

I mean, I guess you could.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't trust it. I think they're subsidizing Alex Cooper's salary. I don't think it's a real charity.

[Sarah Colonna]

It's like a walkathon for Alex Cooper.

[Fortune Feimster]

It is.

[Shane]

The bummer about it is that they rank you. And I was like, I'm gonna do so well. I love running, but some people are cycling and I just can't compete with them.

[Sarah Colonna]

They're shaking their face.

[Fortune Feimster]

Are you gonna run for charity? No, I'll just donate money.

[Jeff Lewis]

So how are you ranked now? There's. It looks like there's 309 kiss asses doing this.

[Shane]

Yeah. And I'm ranked to look good in.

[Jeff Lewis]

Front of SiriusXM executives.

[Shane]

I don't know that you can do it.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're not doing it.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, I have the Apple watching my steps. They should give to charity.

[Shane]

It's through September and I'm currently ranked 75. And I'm hoping people just kind of start pairing off, you know, and just.

[Jeff Lewis]

Kind of wait a minute, you're number 75 but you've only raised $32?

[Shane]

Because I've run 32 miles in the last week.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. Doesn't sound like a lot of money is being raised though, right?

[Shane]

Well, like people who are cycling have raised like $250 already. Because when you cycle, we're gonna need.

[Jeff Lewis]

A lot more to pay that 40 million dollar a year salary.

[Fortune Feimster]

Alex, I'm trying to help you out, babe. 40 million?

[Jeff Lewis]

Seriously?

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know what she's making.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's a lot.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I'm sure.

[Shane]

Thank you.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's high up there.

[Shane]

I'm raising money for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. Shout out cff. So I'm hoping to get them some dollars now.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oscar, I have received so many DMs about you and I wish it would stop, I really do.

[Fortune Feimster]

Is it about today?

[Jeff Lewis]

The 70th anniversary of Disney. Happy birthday, Disneyland.

[Fortune Feimster]

Shut up.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm not bullying him.

[Fortune Feimster]

What's happening?

[Jeff Lewis]

Apparently Disney has some new dating app. Is it called Single Riders. Single riders.

[Annie]

I saw that.

[Fortune Feimster]

That is something you should sign up for.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's still in development. Oh, it's. Oh, you can't sign up yet.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's not out yet.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, but you've looked into it?

[Annie]

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Do you have to go to Disney when you are like, do you have to meet at Disney for your first date?

[Shane]

That'd be cool.

[Fortune Feimster]

That is cute.

[Annie]

Is that owned by Disney?

[Fortune Feimster]

Cause if it doesn't work out, we.

[Jeff Lewis]

Could just go our separate ways.

[Shane]

Yeah, it's also a super cute reference. Cause some rides have a single rider line so you don't have to wait as long as everybody else. Yeah, it's a very cute reference.

[Annie]

I got that.

[Jeff Lewis]

It says, connect Disney devotees along with other theme park enthusiasts. Okay. All right.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think that's a cool. I think it would work.

[Sarah Colonna]

Are you going to sign up, Oscar?

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm not going to tell you what Keon said.

[Fortune Feimster]

Kean, What'd you say?

[Sarah Colonna]

What'd he say?

[Jeff Lewis]

You said that Oscar could finally get laid.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's nice.

[Jeff Lewis]

You did say that. Look at you.

[Fortune Feimster]

Nothing is sacred around here.

[Jeff Lewis]

But I actually think it would be great for you to meet some. Another Disney person. I think it's a. When is this app gonna be up and running? Yeah, I think you'll probably do really well. Yeah, it probably would, but who knows?

[Shane]

It's not out yet.

[Jeff Lewis]

But it makes sense to have your first date at Disney.

[Sarah Colonna]

It'll launch early next year.

[Jeff Lewis]

And you like the food there. So you guys could eat there.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Share a corn dog.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'd go across the street somewhere else, but.

[Annie]

But dinner at Disney.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, that's a late night. Food's terrible there.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm in Zootopia too. Did you know that? So that's gonna be exciting.

[Jeff Lewis]

You are?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, It'll come out in November. I'm a beaver.

[Annie]

Typecasting.

[Fortune Feimster]

So I'm gonna be. My voice will be in the Disney World theme park probably.

[Sarah Colonna]

Really?

[Annie]

How's the beaver sound?

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm just guessing.

[Annie]

What's a beaver sound like?

[Fortune Feimster]

Like me.

[Jeff Lewis]

I say this. I'm not being sarcastic at all. I think you are a very good catch. And I'm curious. Are the lesbians already like sliding into your DMs?

[Fortune Feimster]

They are not.

[Jeff Lewis]

What the fuck? Why?

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know. Because I'm just now single.

[Sarah Colonna]

Are they like, like gay guys would be pouncing if like a famous gay divorced?

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, I just don't think I put out that vibe of like. I just put out a friendly vibe like where people want to be friends with me.

[Annie]

Have you checked, like, message request West's. Check that.

[Sarah Colonna]

Hidden fold.

[Annie]

Check that.

[Fortune Feimster]

So I think, I think people. I'm not the kind of gal that people are like, pouncing on.

[Jeff Lewis]

I disagree. I disagree.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know. We'll see. It's early days.

[Jeff Lewis]

You got to join her.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't want to join an app right now.

[Sarah Colonna]

Join the single Writers app here. Zootopia too.

[Fortune Feimster]

Everything's very new.

[Jeff Lewis]

Thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Jeff Lewis Live every weekday on SiriusXM as well as the Jeff Lewis Channel exclusively on the SiriusXM Applied.