Fortune Feimster & Sarah Colonna: Velvet Couch & Same Siders

Summary

Jeff Lewis Has Issues

Episode: Fortune Feimster & Sarah Colonna: Velvet Couch & Same Siders
Date: March 25, 2026
Host: Jeff Lewis (SiriusXM)
Guests: Fortune Feimster, Sarah Colonna

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Episode Overview

This episode is a lively, candid, and often hilarious catch-up among friends, with Jeff Lewis joined by comedians Fortune Feimster and Sarah Colonna. They cover everything from awards show chaos and home renovations to personal quirks, celebrity run-ins, and hot takes on the etiquette of restaurant seating. As always, Jeff keeps things no-filter and fun, airing grievances from slow restaurant service to velvet allergies, and inviting stories about parties, pets, and the messiness of real life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Fortune’s Career Updates and the Oscars (01:21–08:02)

• Fortune’s filming projects in Las Vegas: Wrapping up 'The Fifth Wheel' for Netflix (with Kim Kardashian, Nikki Glaser, Brenda Song, directed by Eva Longoria).
  • On Eva Longoria as director:
    "She's really good. Very decisive. Knows what she wants.” – Fortune (01:53)
• Golf show with Will Ferrell: Completed, airing this summer.
• Oscars experience: Seated with the ‘Zootopia 2’ cast (Jason Bateman, Ginnifer Goodwin, Yvette Nicole Brown).
  • “It’s an honor to be nominated. Listen, K Pop Demon Hunters was humongous, but so was Zootopia 2. It made almost $2 billion.” – Fortune (02:40)
• Oscars logistics: Long hours, sparse food, tight security; not as glamorous as outsiders think.
  • “At the Globes, I had to wait an hour just to get in. At the Oscars, the security’s even tighter.” – Fortune (06:07)

2. Furniture Drama: The Allergic Reaction to Velvet (08:02–11:10)

• Jeff’s furniture project at Fortune’s house: The green velvet sofa debacle.
  • “I found the most beautiful, velvety kind of sofa… I don’t want velvet.” – Jeff and Fortune (08:52–09:01)
• Fortune insists on a velvet allergy:
  • “I got rashes on my arm.” – Fortune (09:08)
  • Jeff accuses her of being “Faye Dunaway” difficult:
    “She’s just being difficult for the sake of being difficult.” (10:13)

3. Home & Lifestyle Chatter (11:10–15:18)

• Housekeeping confessions: Fortune uses an elderly but beloved housekeeper (now easier with a one-story house).
  • “I was so happy to get out of the two story. I hate the stairs.” – Fortune (13:04)
• Backyard upgrades:
  • Discussion of fake grass, lemon trees, hiding the sauna, and “tits out” hot tub design flaws.
  • “The bench was too high… it’s tits out. Hot tub.” – Fortune (14:18)
  • “They built that for a lesbian?” – Jeff (14:51)

4. Pets, Cat Instagram, and Bad Pet Behavior (16:21–19:56)

• Sarah’s cats, including “Cat Benatar”:
  Her cat’s Instagram following (Felice NaviPaws) reaches 1,643.
  • “Now you have to do double posting.” – Fortune (16:43)
• Reluctance to adopt more pets:
  Fortune: “I just want to see my own dog that I never get to see.” (17:25)
• Cats acting out: Ralphie, the boy cat, leaves messes when left alone; Sarah tries play mat solutions.

5. Dining Out & Restaurant Etiquette (19:00–24:48)

• El Mariachi and Chili’s:
  Discussion of “Loco Mondays” and slow service at Chili’s.
  • “Chili’s should not take 45 minutes… We knew exactly what we wanted the second we walked in.” – Jeff (24:06)
• Menu favorites and food talk: Mango iced tea, burgers, ranch dips, and lunch specials.
• Restaurant seating gripes: The "same side of the booth" couple phenomenon.
  • “You call them same siders?... It’s weird to me.” – Jeff & Sarah (37:09–37:14)
  • “I think you like the same side because you can get fingered.” – Sarah (42:13)

6. Awards, Celebrations, & Parties (21:22–36:09)

• ‘Handsome’ podcast wins GLAAD Award: Tig Notaro accepts with minimal speech.
  • “She was just like, thanks, girl. Thanks for letting us do this nonsense. Bye.” – Fortune (20:39)
• Submissions for awards: The group learns about self-submitting for GLAAD, Emmys, Oscars, and more.
  • “That’s why we haven’t won anything.” – Jeff (22:48)
• Food at parties: Stories about impressive catering (Mexican food, turkey pot pie empanadas at Todd's birthday).
  • “It was just station tables. I ate station after station.” – Unidentified Female Guest (33:47)
• Fortune’s mom’s 80th birthday party (and cancer diagnosis):
  • “Her one request, she said, I’ve never had a birthday party… now that she has cancer, she pulls: ‘I have cancer. I should have a party.’” – Fortune (35:17)

7. Travel, Flying, and Airline Opinions (44:18–46:16)

• Southwest Airlines complaints:
  No perks, more expensive, and now only cleaning the premium seats.
  • “They said they’re only going to clean those seats… all seats should be clean on an airplane.” – Sarah & Unidentified Female Guest (44:57–45:16)
• Bed bug precautions with delivered beds.

8. Inside Radio & Workplace Banter (46:44–50:04)

• Live read criticisms: Andy Cohen says Jeff’s reads are monotone; group roasts him.
  • “Am I not emoting enough?” – Jeff (46:51)
• SiriusXM Spirit Week:
  • “You know what would boost people’s spirits? Stop laying people off… give somebody a raise once in a while.” – Jeff (48:33)

9. Personal Health Trends (38:59–40:09)

• Ozempic and peptides:
  • Casual talk about weight-loss injections, fitness fads, and drips.
  • “People need to have nice curves.” – Sarah (38:45)
  • “I was there for three hours [getting the NAD drip].” – Jeff (39:59)

10. Upcoming Shows & Plugs (42:30–43:14)

• Fortune’s tour dates: US and Europe, including OKC, Fayetteville, Little Rock, Dallas, San Antonio.
  • “FortuneFeemster.com for dates, for venues, for times, for tickets.” – Jeff (43:01)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Velvet Allergy:
  “I got rashes on my arm.” – Fortune (09:08) “She’s just being difficult for the sake of being difficult.” – Jeff (10:13)

• On Oscars Seating:
  “I want to be able to sit on my couch and look at someone else cooking without getting arrested.” – Fortune (10:50)

• On Hot Tub Design:
  “It's tits out. Hot tub.” – Fortune (14:18)
  “They built that for a lesbian?” – Jeff (14:51)

• On Pet Ownership:
  “You would ruin my disgusting poop right on that velvet couch of yours.” – Sarah (19:04)

• On Same Siders:
  “I think you like the same side because you can get fingered.” – Sarah (42:13)
  “That’s why we’re going to win a GLAAD award for that.” – Unidentified Female Guest (42:24)

• On Workplace “Spirit”:
  “You know what would boost people’s spirits? Stop laying people off… give somebody a raise once in a while.” – Jeff (48:33)

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Important Timestamps

• 01:21: Fortune’s film news & Oscars stories
• 08:02: Fortune’s velvet couch allergy and design debate
• 13:04: Love/hate with stairs and one-level living
• 14:18: Hot tub bench too high ("tits out hot tub")
• 16:21: Sarah’s cat’s Instagram, “Cat Benatar”
• 19:00: Cat mischief, Fortune’s absentee pet parenting
• 21:22: ‘Handsome’ podcast wins GLAAD Award
• 24:48: Slow service at Chili’s; dining opinions
• 33:05: Party food, Mexican catering, empanadas
• 35:17: Fortune’s mom’s 80th birthday/cancer
• 37:09: “Same siders” at restaurants etiquette
• 42:13: “I think you like the same side because you can get fingered.”
• 43:14: Fortune’s tour dates and promo
• 44:18: Southwest Airlines complaints
• 46:44: Andy Cohen says Jeff’s live reads are monotone
• 48:33: SiriusXM “Spirit Week” and layoffs rant

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Final Highlights

The episode is a streaming blend of lighthearted complaints, quick-fire banter, and genuine friendship chemistry. Jeff, Fortune, and Sarah riff on pet drama, the absurdity of awards shows, the headaches of home design, and the quirks of restaurant culture—all wrapped up in sharp one-liners and mutual roasting. For listeners who love candid industry talk, comic chaos, and first-world problems handled with humor, this episode delivers.

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Listen to Fortune’s tour info at FortuneFeemster.com and follow Sarah’s cat at Felice NaviPaws on Instagram!

Transcript

[Commercial Narrator]

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[Jeff Lewis]

Mud, sand, snow, the track. Different surfaces, same truth. Every ground is our proving ground. Ready? Set. Forward.

[Commercial Narrator]

When you're Jeff Lewis, the drama never stops.

[Jeff Lewis]

They said that I am by far the most difficult talent that they're working with. You know, we could say we don't judge. I judge and I was judging.

[Sarah Colonna]

Money doesn't make you an asshole.

[Jeff Lewis]

But if you're an asshole and with a ton of money, you're gonna be a bigger asshole. Why are you looking at me? No, I didn't. I didn't. I didn't mean to look in that direction.

[Fortune Feimster]

Jeff Lewis has issues.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hey, it's Jeff Lewis and I have issues. In today's episode, Fortune Feimster and Sarah Colonna join the show. We talk about Fortune's allergic reaction to velvet and her lesbian hot tub. Plus, we talk about restaurants. Same siders. Good morning.

[Fortune Feimster]

Good morning.

[Jeff Lewis]

How are you? I know you've been crazy busy. You have been filming in Las Vegas and then. Are you filming here also?

[Fortune Feimster]

We just are wrapping this. We've wrapped principal photography, have, like a marketing shoot and then I'm done.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's for the. Oh, God. What is the movie in Vegas that you're doing?

[Unidentified Female Guest]

The Fifth Wheel.

[Jeff Lewis]

The Fifth Wheel for Netflix? Yes, that's the one with Kim Kardashian,

[Fortune Feimster]

Nikki Glaser, Brenda Song and myself.

[Jeff Lewis]

And I didn't realize that evil Eva Longoria is directing it.

[Fortune Feimster]

She is? Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Is she good?

[Fortune Feimster]

She's really good.

[Sarah Colonna]

Really?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Very decisive. Knows what she wants.

[Jeff Lewis]

Does she have directing experience?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, she's.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

I did that hot Cheeto movie last year.

[Fortune Feimster]

What is it called? Flaming Hots or something like that. I didn't know that she has been. I didn't know this either. She's been directing, like, for 20 years. I think she started when she was on Desperate Housewives and she did some,

[Sarah Colonna]

like, a couple of Lifetime things, I think.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then. And. And she also lives part time in Spain, so she does a lot in Europe as well.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, what about the Will Ferrell movie. Are you done with that one?

[Fortune Feimster]

That one I'm done with. It will come out this summer on Netflix. It's a TV show.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so then you were Golf one, right?

[Fortune Feimster]

The golf.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yes. Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

You were at the Oscars because. Was it Zootopia 2?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

And you lost.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, but also we figured. Lose.

[Jeff Lewis]

But you were nominated, which is, you know, great.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's an honor to be nominated. Listen, K Pop Demon Hunters was humongous, but so was Utopia too. It made almost $2 billion. So no one's.

[Sarah Colonna]

They're okay. Yeah. You looked so good at the Oscars. We were so excited to see you. Very.

[Jeff Lewis]

But I wonder if there's anything more you could have done to win.

[Fortune Feimster]

What do you think I personally could have done?

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't know. Maybe it has something to do with the. The beaver.

[Sarah Colonna]

Probably.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think the beaver helps.

[Sarah Colonna]

K Pop Beaver Hunter.

[Fortune Feimster]

K Pop Beaver Hunter.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. I'm excited for that.

[Fortune Feimster]

I wore a little tux from our money. I was trying to be fancy.

[Jeff Lewis]

You looked very nice.

[Fortune Feimster]

Thank you.

[Jeff Lewis]

And then where were. Who were you? What celebrities were you seated next to?

[Fortune Feimster]

I was seated by all my Zootopia 2 folks.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

So Fortune was in the back of a lot of. A lot of the footage of the Oscar ceremony. I kept spotting you.

[Fortune Feimster]

I was.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yes.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Oh, spotting you. Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, how funny.

[Jeff Lewis]

Was that intentional?

[Unidentified Female Guest]

I don't know. I'm not the director.

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, the camera does love me.

[Sarah Colonna]

It does.

[Jeff Lewis]

Who are the Zootopia actors?

[Fortune Feimster]

Jason Bateman, Jennifer Goodwin, Yvette Nicole Brown. We were all seated together.

[Jeff Lewis]

Got it.

[Sarah Colonna]

Now that is at the Oscars. I have a lot of questions about the Oscars. There's not. Because it's not like the Golden Globes where you have the tables. It's the theater.

[Fortune Feimster]

The tables with the food is the way to go.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. And like alcohol and water.

[Fortune Feimster]

I drink the whole time at the Golden Globes.

[Sarah Colonna]

So you don't get like. Because I saw you at two o', clock, John. Never watching. Yeah. So it's a long day. Right.

[Fortune Feimster]

They put a little box under your seat with a water, popcorn and a candy. Like a movie candy.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

There's no food the whole time.

[Fortune Feimster]

They have a couple past apps in the beginning, but they're not great. It's very minimal.

[Jeff Lewis]

How hungry were you?

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm very hungry.

[Jeff Lewis]

How long were you sitting there?

[Fortune Feimster]

So I had to be at the red carpet at like 12:30, but the show doesn't start till 4. You're done with the red carpet after an hour. So I just started drinking so they did have booths. They had. They had, like, a bar.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

The show starts at 4, but it didn't end till almost 8. And then there's a Governor's Ball right after upstairs. So we did all go up there. And then a long day. Where did they hold it at the Kodak? Is that what. Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Couldn't you get, like, a hotel room at that hotel?

[Fortune Feimster]

They won't let you come in and out. I tried. I said, hey. I said, hey, can I go get a burger and come back? They go, absolutely not.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's a bummer.

[Fortune Feimster]

But I don't know if he just was trying to look out for my waistline or if he was just.

[Sarah Colonna]

I think security was tight. So they.

[Jeff Lewis]

What's that hotel right next to it?

[Sarah Colonna]

The Roosevelt.

[Jeff Lewis]

There's, like, a bridge that connects it.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, the one in there.

[Jeff Lewis]

The Renaissance. You just got a room and go take a nap.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, but they won't let you come in and out.

[Sarah Colonna]

Will they let you go bowl over a Lucky Strike?

[Fortune Feimster]

Once your tickets go to Ding Busters, they won't let you back out.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

So where are you once you're done with the carpet? Are you in a holding.

[Fortune Feimster]

You just go into the theater. Not. They won't let you in the theater till 30 minutes before. So you just go in the bar area.

[Sarah Colonna]

At least they had a bar area.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

So you have three hours in the bar.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're small, talking for three hours.

[Fortune Feimster]

I would have stayed longer on the red carpet, just kind of seeing all the action. But it was so hot there.

[Sarah Colonna]

It was 90 degrees.

[Fortune Feimster]

It was. There was no air conditioning on the red carpet, and it was tinted.

[Jeff Lewis]

It just wouldn't be that important to me. I'd rather roll in 30 minutes before and skip the car.

[Fortune Feimster]

They give you assigned times. They're like, you have to be here by this. We did think that the security getting in would take longer because at the Globes, I had to wait an hour to get in.

[Jeff Lewis]

In the car.

[Fortune Feimster]

In the car. And so we prepped for that, and then we got through within 10 minutes. So part of the longer time was that it didn't take as long to get in.

[Jeff Lewis]

Where were the Globes at the Beverly Hills?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

So why couldn't you get a room there and then just take. Take the elevator down?

[Fortune Feimster]

It's different with the Globes. They're less crazy about that stuff. The Oscars, like, everyone's on high alert.

[Sarah Colonna]

I don't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

Right.

[Sarah Colonna]

Gloves are a little more loosey goosey goosey.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Because you can't. You could Go to your room back there.

[Jeff Lewis]

It just sounds boring, the whole ceremony.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's.

[Jeff Lewis]

I've been invited a few times to go as someone's guest and like.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, you would. You would hate it.

[Sarah Colonna]

I would hate it.

[Fortune Feimster]

You should never go.

[Jeff Lewis]

I never will go.

[Sarah Colonna]

It'd be the Jeff Lewis meltdown on the carpet live after show.

[Fortune Feimster]

You leave within an hour for sure.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, a lot of times, you know, if I go to, like, a premiere or whatever and. Or I usually don't go to premieres, but if there's an event that I have to go to. Have to. That. You're right. They give us times. I'm like, fuck it. I don't want even. I don't even do the carpet. I don't want to stand there for an hour and then go and have to talk to people that I don't like and they don't like me.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, the only people that get to come, like, an hour before are, like, the huge celebrity, you know?

[Jeff Lewis]

Right.

[Fortune Feimster]

Because they just get whisked in.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's nice.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

You'll be there very soon.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

By the end of the year. By the end of the year. Now, was Zootopia 2. Was that just one nomination?

[Fortune Feimster]

I think so. What's your face?

[Jeff Lewis]

No, I mean, I. I was just expecting more. But just one.

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, I'm gonna just say one more time. It made a million dollars.

[Jeff Lewis]

How many nominations did K pop?

[Fortune Feimster]

They got two. Song and movie.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, nominations or they actually won?

[Fortune Feimster]

They did win both of those.

[Jeff Lewis]

Can we get you. Can we get movie?

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm not Korean.

[Sarah Colonna]

Not yet.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, I'm gonna be seeing you later. Today we have the first part of our many, many, many furniture installations.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, today is round one of 12.

[Fortune Feimster]

He's gonna come torment me at my house.

[Sarah Colonna]

Wait, Is there really 12 visits?

[Fortune Feimster]

No, it'll be. How many? Not that many.

[Sarah Colonna]

You thought the Oscars were long.

[Fortune Feimster]

I hope there's some popcorn involved.

[Jeff Lewis]

There's going to be. I mean, yeah. I mean, we're not going to.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

I mean, probably be four or five. I mean, we have this round of furniture. We'll need another.

[Fortune Feimster]

Another round of furniture.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

There'll be accessories. There'll be rugs.

[Sarah Colonna]

Have you already picked them out? Have you already picked it all out?

[Fortune Feimster]

We picked out, like, 80% of the furniture.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't know if it's 80.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, is it not?

[Jeff Lewis]

Because you threw me off when you. Okay, so I found the most.

[Fortune Feimster]

I knew you were gonna bring this.

[Jeff Lewis]

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. I would buy it if it would fit in my House, but it doesn't. It's a gorgeous green, like, velvety kind of sofa.

[Fortune Feimster]

Beautiful. I don't want velvet.

[Jeff Lewis]

She says she's allergic to velvet.

[Fortune Feimster]

I got rashes on my arm.

[Sarah Colonna]

When you tried. When you sat on the couch.

[Jeff Lewis]

Look at that.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

She has a little like.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's not cute.

[Sarah Colonna]

I'm not allergic. I'm not allergic to velvet.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's sexy. It's sophisticated. It was gonna pull the whole living room together.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now I gotta start over.

[Fortune Feimster]

You are so such a tur.

[Sarah Colonna]

I didn't know you were so sensitive to Vell.

[Fortune Feimster]

I didn't. I.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's not.

[Fortune Feimster]

I had this happen before. And so that was like. I think that's the common denominator. I don't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm just gonna tell you this is my theory.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay?

[Jeff Lewis]

It's a little Faye Dunaway. Because she's acting this way because she can.

[Fortune Feimster]

I needed to be about one.

[Jeff Lewis]

I worked for her before a couple years ago. Yes, she was up and coming. But she wasn't like an A lister like she is now. She's just fucking with me.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

Now you're getting the beaver treatment. Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

You know, we talked about. Zootopia has grossed $2 billion. If I had, I mean, put some

[Fortune Feimster]

respect on my beaver.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's just being difficult for the sake of being difficult.

[Fortune Feimster]

There's no way there's not another.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm allergic to that.

[Fortune Feimster]

That is green. That's not velvet.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Somewhere it's possible to be allergic to velvet. But I think you're allergic to synthetic fibers or material are used in it.

[Fortune Feimster]

There you go. Thank you, Annie. I appreciate this.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

I got you, girl.

Googling.

[Fortune Feimster]

So there's another couch somewhere in LA that's green.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's not gonna be the same. Why do you even have to sit on that sofa?

[Fortune Feimster]

I want to be.

[Sarah Colonna]

Because it wasn't. Was it going to be the main sofa?

[Fortune Feimster]

No.

[Sarah Colonna]

What kind of small? Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's in the living room. So she doesn't even go in the living room.

[Fortune Feimster]

I want to be able to sit on my couch and look at someone

[Sarah Colonna]

else cooking without getting arrested.

[Jeff Lewis]

First of all, we're close.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God.

[Jeff Lewis]

Cover your arms and legs and then sit in one of the side chairs.

[Fortune Feimster]

I knew you were gonna make this a thing.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Or the dining table or a bar stool.

[Sarah Colonna]

Sarah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Literally the only notes I've given. And this is what happens.

[Sarah Colonna]

Of course he's hung up on it.

[Fortune Feimster]

He's like, oh, finally we have one thing.

[Jeff Lewis]

We found a dining room table and chair. So she'll have that today.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

We found a family room sofa. The family room will be done today. Ish.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yep. The guest beds.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Yep.

[Sarah Colonna]

How many bedrooms?

[Jeff Lewis]

But we have to buy mattresses.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, I have them.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

From Helix. Okay. Sponsors on my podcast, Shout Out.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's awesome.

[Fortune Feimster]

And so they just have to be rolled out.

[Jeff Lewis]

Just a round one.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

We'll be back.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

The mattresses are the kind of that roll up and you have to, like, put up and let it like, takes

[Unidentified Female Guest]

a day to puff.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes, exactly. Did you take a day to puff? Don't you.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did you tell Kian that you. The house is not as clean anymore since you're living alone? Did I say that we'll be clean today?

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah. It's gorgeous.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you have a housekeeper?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes. My old housekeeper that I used to use forever is back with me every other week.

[Jeff Lewis]

Every other week?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm working all the time.

[Jeff Lewis]

Shower toilets. Those need to be cleaned.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. But I. Dishes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are there dishes in the sink?

[Fortune Feimster]

No. The house is so clean right now.

[Jeff Lewis]

All right. Are there a bunch of dirty dishes in the dishwasher?

[Fortune Feimster]

There's dirty potties.

[Sarah Colonna]

30 pennies in the dishwasher. Coffee machine. I knew it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you have a bunch of dirty laundry? Because I'll know today.

[Fortune Feimster]

I do have laundry in my laundry basket.

[Jeff Lewis]

Where it goes clean or dirty?

[Fortune Feimster]

Dirty. That's.

[Jeff Lewis]

I knew it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Where are you putting?

[Jeff Lewis]

Every time I go to her house, there's a bunch of dirty panties.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's right.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I save them up for Jeff to come visit so he'll go through them. But she couldn't do my old house because she doesn't. She's old and doesn't do steps. Oh.

[Jeff Lewis]

How old is she?

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know. But she's.

[Jeff Lewis]

Is she a good cleaner?

[Fortune Feimster]

She's great.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's why I was excited to get her.

[Sarah Colonna]

This one's a one story.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's a one story.

[Sarah Colonna]

Gross.

[Fortune Feimster]

How dare you.

[Sarah Colonna]

I thought you made $2 billion.

[Jeff Lewis]

Actually, I love a one story.

[Fortune Feimster]

Me too.

[Sarah Colonna]

All right.

[Jeff Lewis]

I mean, there's.

[Fortune Feimster]

I was so happy to get out of the two story.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yep.

[Fortune Feimster]

I was like. It just.

[Jeff Lewis]

I. I hate the damn stairs.

[Fortune Feimster]

I hate the stairs.

[Sarah Colonna]

Do you know what? I feel oddly safer in a two story house. Like, I. I don't know what. What it is, but when I'm by myself, when John's out of town, I.

[Fortune Feimster]

You just lock yourself in your bedroom upstairs.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

You're trapped.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's right, girl.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, I'll jump right off that balcony into the pool. Into the pool. Yeah. Head first.

[Fortune Feimster]

Sit out.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

She'll hide in her.

[Sarah Colonna]

Don't bring up the sauna. He can't believe it's on a balcony where it belongs.

[Fortune Feimster]

That is kind of wild.

[Sarah Colonna]

Why? Where else should it go?

[Jeff Lewis]

Should we string some Christmas lights on it, too? Colored Christmas lights.

[Sarah Colonna]

Right next to my trailer.

[Jeff Lewis]

Next to the clothesline.

[Fortune Feimster]

I want a sauna in my backyard.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Because I want to do fake grass in the backyard, too.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know.

[Fortune Feimster]

Why are you.

[Jeff Lewis]

Can we maybe. Can we hide it with some vegetation so we don't walk in the house and just see that sauna in the middle?

[Fortune Feimster]

I was gonna put a lemon tree in front of it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. We'll hide it with some hedges or something.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Look at citrus.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's not a big backyard.

[Sarah Colonna]

Or get a balcony.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know. That's why I don't want it like a sauna taking up half the backyard.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know. We'll put it in the little corner.

[Jeff Lewis]

All right.

[Sarah Colonna]

You got a pool, right?

[Fortune Feimster]

I do. A little. It's a little pool.

[Jeff Lewis]

Does Brenda like to pull?

[Fortune Feimster]

She hasn't done.

[Jeff Lewis]

She hasn't used the spa yet.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, the spa is a little too high. I think the bench was too high. So your tits are out. It's tits. I got tits out. Hot tub.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, I love it. Tits out.

[Fortune Feimster]

So Brenda's gonna be very exposed. She'll have a bathing suit on, but still.

[Jeff Lewis]

So that's interesting. So when you sit on the. When you sit on the step.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, It's.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's not.

[Fortune Feimster]

They put the bench too high, I think.

[Jeff Lewis]

You know what? I've seen that over and over and over again.

[Fortune Feimster]

Have you?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yep.

[Fortune Feimster]

I got in it. And the water comes here right under my. My boob area. And I'm like, I don't want to be in a hot tub with half my body.

[Jeff Lewis]

They built that for a lesbian?

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, this lesbian's not into it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Really? I would think lesbians would be into it.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, I don't.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

They don't want their tits out.

[Fortune Feimster]

I want tits out. Hot tub.

[Jeff Lewis]

I want to be warm, like, up to your neck.

[Fortune Feimster]

I would like it to be like, here.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

She wants hot tits.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did we do two. Did we do two levels of.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

I think there's. There's two levels. There's one to kind of step in, and then there's, like, a lower one to have your titties covered.

[Jeff Lewis]

So I have a choice of tits out or not?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, that's nice. Flexible.

[Fortune Feimster]

I would love a choice.

[Sarah Colonna]

Can you lower her bench for her?

[Fortune Feimster]

That's in your Hot tub. That's expensive.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, you're. You're jackhammering. You're. You're doing new rebar.

[Fortune Feimster]

You're.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's not working.

[Sarah Colonna]

There's not the only jackhammering going on in that hot tub, huh?

[Fortune Feimster]

Am I right?

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Hi.

[Fortune Feimster]

High five.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, it's like a little. Like a little plunge pool.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, exactly. But it's perfect.

[Jeff Lewis]

I like it. It's so close to the house.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't need any more than that.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, that's all you need. You're not doing laps.

[Fortune Feimster]

Putter around.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

All right, well, we'll see what happens. Is the delivery happening now?

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Yeah, Tyler should be there at 10.

[Fortune Feimster]

The movers, I think, rolled up while I was leaving, so they got there early.

[Jeff Lewis]

But they got a lot of unpacking to do because still on boxes, they got to put some of this shit together. It's not.

[Sarah Colonna]

Let's.

[Jeff Lewis]

You know, when you order from ikea,

[Sarah Colonna]

they have to get. Do you have them to deliver that couch? Just don't fuck with her.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

And do all the Swedish instructions.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, Tyler had a question for me, but he solved the problem already.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, yeah, he's a problem solver. I love that Tyler. All right, so what's happening with. What is it? Feliz Navipas. How many followers do you have now?

[Sarah Colonna]

Like 1700 probably.

[Fortune Feimster]

Is this your offense?

[Sarah Colonna]

My cat. My cat's Instagram.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

1643.

[Sarah Colonna]

Look at that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

I can't believe how many people are following those cats.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's all those chumps they went right after. They couldn't wait to see Felice Navi past do your. I forgot that I had a cat Instagram. And Jeff found out and now I have to post on there all the time.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh no. Now you have to do double posting.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know. I sure do. But look how cute they are.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Where is the new kitten?

[Sarah Colonna]

The new kitten? His name.

[Jeff Lewis]

Dolly.

[Sarah Colonna]

Dolly. Well, but then my friend said she looked like Pat Benatar, so now we're calling her Cat Benatar. Isn't that good? That's pretty good. So if anyone wants a kitten that

[Jeff Lewis]

actually could get her adopted.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay, Cat Benatar. She needs a home with another kitten.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

A photo shoot with me.

[Jeff Lewis]

You know, who needs a cat?

[Sarah Colonna]

I know. I thought about that. Fortune.

[Jeff Lewis]

A certain tits out lesbian over here.

[Sarah Colonna]

Fortune you have.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're not a kitty.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm like always working.

[Sarah Colonna]

This cat's name is Dolly Feimster. Isn't that a coincidence already? Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Must be a cousin.

[Jeff Lewis]

You don't want to do a cat?

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't want a cat. I just want to see my own dog that I never get to see.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, that's right. She's a terrible pet owner.

[Commercial Narrator]

That is not true.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm a great owner. Yeah, I haven't seen him.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're kind of an absentee mom.

[Fortune Feimster]

Not on purpose. I'm trying to see him.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. Now, what's happening with the accidents under the desk? Oh, which cat does that?

[Sarah Colonna]

Ralphie. My boy cat.

[Jeff Lewis]

Is he the only boy you have?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

You have three girls?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. Well, two, but.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, you have a fourth cat now.

[Sarah Colonna]

No.

[Jeff Lewis]

I mean, I don't know at what point we talk about this.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, I can't keep cat Benatar. I can't. She's. No, it's too Similis.

[Jeff Lewis]

Here.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, hi.

[Sarah Colonna]

What is she doing?

[Fortune Feimster]

She did just show us a boot, which I appreciate.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, she wants to be in your toots hat hot tub.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, she'd love your hot tub.

[Fortune Feimster]

She would love it.

[Jeff Lewis]

So would you.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Ralphie gets pissed when you leave.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. And he makes a. And he goes number two under my desk.

[Jeff Lewis]

And what have you done to solve the problem?

[Sarah Colonna]

I put his favorite play mat under the desk. And so.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Oh, smart.

[Sarah Colonna]

What the vet suggested before having to medicate him. So I've put that under his desk, and so far it's worked.

[Jeff Lewis]

Why don't you just close the door in there?

[Sarah Colonna]

Because the litter box is in there.

[Jeff Lewis]

Interesting. Do you only have one litter box?

[Sarah Colonna]

No, we have two.

[Jeff Lewis]

Where's the other one?

[Sarah Colonna]

Upstairs in the cat room. They have their own room? Yeah.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

I love that.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, it's the little.

[Jeff Lewis]

Why doesn't he use the other one then? Why doesn't Ralph use the other one?

[Sarah Colonna]

Because he uses both of them. Because the litter box is in there.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

And then he goes upstairs.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, we have two litter boxes, too.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, because he goes. Cause he knows it's in there, but he's mad, so he goes, number two under my desk.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Sarah Colonna]

Don't you want a cat fortune? Doesn't this sound awesome?

[Fortune Feimster]

That's terrible.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. She's always gone. Ralphie would be pissed.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, yeah, your house.

[Fortune Feimster]

You would ruin my disgusting poop right

[Sarah Colonna]

on that velvet couch of yours.

[Jeff Lewis]

We had El Mariachi last night.

[Sarah Colonna]

No.

[Jeff Lewis]

What?

[Sarah Colonna]

I know. We did half off Monday. Do you know about Loco Mondays?

[Fortune Feimster]

I did hear that you guys like to go on half off Loco Mondays.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Why did you miss last night?

[Sarah Colonna]

We didn't go yesterday because we. Because today's St. Patrick's Day and we have plans to meet Chris Frangola.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

Meet him for a drink. And we didn't think that we should go out on Monday and Tuesday. Yeah.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Sarah won't drink two days in a row.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, not during the week. You got to be responsible during the week.

[Fortune Feimster]

You got to keep it tight.

[Jeff Lewis]

Where are you going tonight?

[Sarah Colonna]

We're going to go to the Local Peasant. Do you want to come?

[Fortune Feimster]

What time?

[Sarah Colonna]

I think around 3 o'. Clock. Would you guys like to come?

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm sorry, 3:00pm no.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. Chris, he has a child. He's going after. We're going for. Yeah.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Oh, let's go after. Fun.

[Sarah Colonna]

He's going early because he wants to have, you know, a drink without his child.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's right.

[Sarah Colonna]

So I said I'd meet him. So, yeah, we'll be gone.

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, I went with you last year.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

To the Local Peasant.

[Fortune Feimster]

I did.

[Sarah Colonna]

It's fun. You guys should come.

[Fortune Feimster]

When my life was falling apart.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's right. We cried.

[Jeff Lewis]

I have to work today. We're filming also.

[Sarah Colonna]

I have work to do, too. But then I'm gonna be done by

[Fortune Feimster]

three, basically, whenever they're.

[Jeff Lewis]

My guess is you're gonna be done by 1101.

[Sarah Colonna]

1245. Actually, I have an hour meeting after this. Okay. So 1247, maybe.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, is it true that Handsome won a GLAAD award? Your podcast, Very successful podcast with May Martin and Tig Notaro.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

You won, actually, a GLAAD Award for most outstanding podcast.

[Fortune Feimster]

We did.

[Jeff Lewis]

Congrats.

[Fortune Feimster]

Thank you.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now you were out of town, who accepted the award?

[Fortune Feimster]

Tigg accepted it with the least planned speech ever. She was just like, thanks, girl. Thanks for letting us do this nonsense. Bye.

[Jeff Lewis]

That was it.

[Fortune Feimster]

It. I was filming nights with the movie and May was on tour, so we left it in the hands of Tig.

[Jeff Lewis]

So she wasn't like the rest of us. Expecting you to win, probably.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think she didn't have a speech.

[Fortune Feimster]

What Tig said is she. It was like, first up or something. First or second? So she was planning to write something in case during the ceremony, and then was caught off guard that it was like it came right up. So she just was like. She literally was like, may and Fortune are dropping off jokes in other cities. Thanks for letting us do this nonsense. Goodbye.

[Sarah Colonna]

I like a short and sweet speech. I like it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did she stay the entire time?

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know. Well, she also had a documentary that was won in a GLAD Award and was nominated for an Oscar.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, wow.

[Sarah Colonna]

See me in the good light, right?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, really good.

[Jeff Lewis]

She gets sucked into donating.

[Fortune Feimster]

Honestly, I Don't know, because they do

[Jeff Lewis]

a real good job at.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know.

[Jeff Lewis]

Getting people to give money.

[Fortune Feimster]

Did you go to the club?

[Jeff Lewis]

No, because I don't want to give money. But the last time I did, I gave money. Every time you go, they're sticking a

[Fortune Feimster]

piece of paper in your face.

[Jeff Lewis]

Not. I mean, I wasn't nominated, so why would I get money?

[Unidentified Female Guest]

I should be nominated for gay podcast. Hello.

[Fortune Feimster]

You have to submit yourself.

[Jeff Lewis]

Lesbians like us. Yeah, but the gay guys.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, I think you have to submit yourself, so that's.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, really?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. I didn't know that. I didn't know that either.

[Sarah Colonna]

What's that bar that you go to that High Top. High Tops. That should get you a Glad Award, Right? Just for going for. Just for supporting West Hollywood.

[Jeff Lewis]

I didn't have to submit yourself? Yeah, it's not that important to us.

[Fortune Feimster]

I just learned about that recently.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, so you submitted yourself?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, because we didn't do it the first couple. Couple years. We didn't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, okay.

[Sarah Colonna]

I think you have to do that for the hot. The Walk of Fame, too, right?

[Fortune Feimster]

I think there's a lot of things you have to. Well, you have to submit yourself for the Emmys, for the Oscars. All of that requires submitting yourself.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's why we haven't won anything.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

I just haven't submitted it or else

[Fortune Feimster]

we would have won.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. No wonder.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, you have to. They don't just be like, we like you.

[Sarah Colonna]

Jeff's gonna try to win an Oscar for still flipping out next year.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, because I don't want to go to 12 at 12:30.

[Sarah Colonna]

Right? Too early.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. No way. Someone else will have to accept the award.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Fortune's a star. Your time would be like 10am 10am the day.

[Jeff Lewis]

But I don't need to go to the ceremony. I think we could just do the red carpet and leave.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

I love that idea.

[Jeff Lewis]

Because we're not gonna win anything, right?

[Fortune Feimster]

That's true.

[Jeff Lewis]

Because we didn't submit.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Oh, yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't know.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Maybe next year.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, maybe next year.

[Jeff Lewis]

Bad news.

[Fortune Feimster]

What?

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, yesterday we were very excited. We had a couple gift cards. We went to Chili's and Encino, and what? I had a beautiful Santa Fe chicken salad.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love chili.

[Jeff Lewis]

What did you get?

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Old Timer Cheeseburger with fries.

[Fortune Feimster]

No. Triple dippers?

[Unidentified Female Guest]

No, we kept it light. We had chips and sauces.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, you did the lunch special? My dad and stepmom are obsessed with the Chili's lunch special.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, yeah, we always do it. The service was so slow yesterday. And you. What is your Theory.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

I was like, ever since they got really popular in the last couple of years, like, they.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, because of us, because we blew

[Unidentified Female Guest]

up their spot, they, like, forgot who they were. Like, the whole thing was quick service and they had amazing customer service. And now, like, they've gotten too big for their britches.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, I will say the waiter was really nice. Really nice. Really personable. But everyone else was slow. The kitchen was slow. The bus, everybody was slow. Chili should not take 45 minutes.

[Fortune Feimster]

No.

[Jeff Lewis]

Because we knew exactly what we wanted the second we walked in.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know, it's so good there. The mango iced tea, do you ever get that?

[Jeff Lewis]

No, No. I did it on our Palmer yesterday.

[Fortune Feimster]

Try the mango iced tea sometime. But you guys stir it when you like. Make sure you stir it to get the mango all around.

[Jeff Lewis]

How was your burger?

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Great.

[Jeff Lewis]

Delicious, right? So is my salad. And then you did. You did the fries and you dipped it in the ranch.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Of course. Ranch with the fry.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, the queso.

[Jeff Lewis]

I would. I would. I would invite you to go today, but I don't have two hours to spare.

[Fortune Feimster]

Listen, me neither. I gotta go just the same as you to my house where they're putting in this furniture.

[Sarah Colonna]

I'll be at the local peasant at 12 at.

[Jeff Lewis]

When you finish. When you finish work.

[Sarah Colonna]

30.

[Jeff Lewis]

John, going to.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. Where's he been?

[Sarah Colonna]

He was in Puerto Rico and Miami for the World Baseball Classic. He was watching the World Baseball Classic.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are we all going to Zach's screening party? Oh, when is that? Did you put that in my calendar?

[Unidentified Female Guest]

April 24th.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are we here?

[Fortune Feimster]

I think I'm out of 10.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

That's the day.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, I'm moving that day.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

But you're not actually going to do it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, it's scheduled, is it? Oh, yeah, he scheduled it.

[Fortune Feimster]

I believe it's called schedule.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's happening on April 24th.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wait, your house is almost ready. Finally.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's been ready.

[Fortune Feimster]

I bet. It's so pretty.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's been ready, but.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I want to see it.

[Sarah Colonna]

Are you gonna have a. Like a welcome party? What is it called?

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't want chumps to trash my house.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, but Sarah and I are sophisticated.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, Sarah is.

[Fortune Feimster]

I am, too.

[Jeff Lewis]

But you know what we could do? Because I have to repaint and do the floors at the house I'm in now. We could have a chump party there and they could just fuck it up.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

A going away, like a big party.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah, that's a good idea.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. Then I don't care. I don't care about anything.

[Fortune Feimster]

I do want to see this new house, though, I'll probably have to watch it on still flipping Out.

[Jeff Lewis]

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[Fortune Feimster]

My show? I do, right after this.

[Jeff Lewis]

What a joke with Papa and Fortune, you realize. Can she not take calls either?

[Fortune Feimster]

What do you mean?

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Do you guys take calls?

[Fortune Feimster]

Life, we don't take calls live.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, then it doesn't affect you.

[Fortune Feimster]

People leave voicemails.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, we can't. There's. For some reason there's. We've been having some technical difficulties here at SiriusXM.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh really?

[Jeff Lewis]

For the past several weeks. So today, what are you gonna do about the call in shows? What do you do in that situation?

[Unidentified Female Guest]

What's poor Tinks gonna do?

I'm not sure.

[Jeff Lewis]

Because it's not your problem.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

It's not my problem?

[Jeff Lewis]

Not your monkey, not your circus.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

You are my problem. And I say that with love.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's what Alyssa told me this morning. She said that she because of me, she does not want to have biological children. She told me that this morning. She's like, you're enough. I can't. Yeah, I can only mother.

[Fortune Feimster]

What are you doing to Alyssa?

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't. What are we doing to her?

[Unidentified Female Guest]

I think he just pesters her like a child would their own mother. You know, just. There's always questions, there's always problems. She's always dealing with things. It's like he calls her.

[Jeff Lewis]

We call it 30.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

You know, it's like, I forgot my lunch, mom, can you bring me something at school like that?

[Jeff Lewis]

She literally was like, okay, Mommy will take care. That's what she said to me today. She's like, mommy will take care of that. So baby can stop crying. I go, thanks, Mommy. It's really weird.

[Fortune Feimster]

Melissa is who you report to for concerns.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, she keeps. I mean, I think she's gonna end up running this company. She just keeps getting promoted.

[Fortune Feimster]

Amazing.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know. I never thought the power dynamics. Oh, I have. I have been.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

But I used to not be nice to her. She used to work here. Did she do your job or Oscar's job?

[Unidentified Female Guest]

My job.

[Jeff Lewis]

She did your job. I mean, I've watched this girl just climb the ladder. It's insane.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

But thank God I made amends before she left.

[Fortune Feimster]

Thank goodness.

[Jeff Lewis]

I tried to get her fired three

[Sarah Colonna]

times and she just kept getting promoted

[Jeff Lewis]

and they just kept promoting.

[Fortune Feimster]

They made their choice, now they're promoting in spite of you.

[Jeff Lewis]

But strange, like all of our. In all of our conflict, we formed some sort of.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Well, I think that was the friendship that was the problem from the beginning was that you two were very similar. And she.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think she would really take offense to that.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

That if you said that she knows.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, she's.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

And she has your best interest at heart. But that's sometimes hard to hear as a self destructive person.

[Jeff Lewis]

Ouch.

[Fortune Feimster]

Pointed at you.

[Jeff Lewis]

Where did you go eat to eat after the Oscars?

[Fortune Feimster]

We went to the Governor's Ball.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, you ate there?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you didn't like hit in and out or anything like that? Shake Shack.

[Fortune Feimster]

I passed out afterwards. I was so tired because I kind of come off two weeks of night shoots.

[Sarah Colonna]

Governor's Ball.

[Fortune Feimster]

It was, I think hosted by Gang Puck. So that kind of like steak, sushi, Mac and cheese, fries.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, speaking of food at parties, I heard the other day. Was it Jackie Schimmel, who was Todd someone. What party were you at just recently where someone had. Oh, no, it was Todd's birthday party. Todd's birthday party. And I heard that they served Mexican food.

[Jeff Lewis]

They did.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. I didn't hear one person shit on it. Not one. I didn't hear one person.

[Jeff Lewis]

I didn't have any delicious, but wow, it really looked great.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

No, it really was good.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay, just curious. I just. Nobody mentioned those tables went on for miles.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Oh my God.

[Jeff Lewis]

It was just station tables.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

I eat station after station. Take your pick from your plate.

[Jeff Lewis]

I didn't eat, but I mean, you must have been so stuffed.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Oh my God. Well, I was just perfect. I really needed it. And then as soon as they brought it out, I had like delicious.

[Jeff Lewis]

But why didn't you eat at Sarah's? But you ate at Todd's.

[Sarah Colonna]

You liked the turkey pot pie empanadas.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Oh my God, I did. I love the turkey pot pie empanadas.

[Jeff Lewis]

They were really good.

[Fortune Feimster]

Turkey pot pie empanadas.

[Jeff Lewis]

It smelled really good on your pizza. Everyone's breath. That's why I stuck to the deli sandwich in the fridge.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

What would actually be like a funny thing is if you had one passion

[Fortune Feimster]

got out a sandwich,

[Jeff Lewis]

it was half eaten.

[Fortune Feimster]

That is wild.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's the worst part. But it was cutly. It was cut nice in halves. Yeah, I just had the other half.

[Fortune Feimster]

It was a friend and it was good.

[Jeff Lewis]

It was good.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wait, what's the. Where's it from?

[Sarah Colonna]

Mr. Pickles? Yeah, that's what Christine was looking for it the next morning. She was like, hey, where's my sandwich?

[Fortune Feimster]

I love a substandard sandwich.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did I eat.

[Sarah Colonna]

Ate it in one bite. Our friend Christine.

[Jeff Lewis]

I didn't want empanada breath because I could smell everyone. It was terrible. Mixed with red wine. It was awful.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Fortune.

[Sarah Colonna]

Why did you complain about the breath at Todd's party is what I'm saying. No, no.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't know why I didn't. I didn't. There wasn't bad breath there.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

There really wasn't. It was just this, like the aromas, right?

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, you just. Oh, just the Mexican food. Just. Just really good smelling Mexican food.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe just skip the empanadas.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, no, that's what she's favorite.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

I did appreciate how you did the tacos and stuff and outside, so it wasn't sneaking up the house.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, there you go.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, it's outside. It was thoughtful because they're made fresh.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you gonna have a party for your mom soon?

[Fortune Feimster]

Uhhuh.

[Jeff Lewis]

Is it a birthday party?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, her eight, she turned 80 and her one request, she said, I've never had a birthday party in all these years. And you know, now that she has cancer, she pulls. I have Cancer. I should have a party. So I'm. My brothers and I are throwing her a party at the end of the month in our hometown.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, that's awesome. How's she doing?

[Jeff Lewis]

To the end of March?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Don't do empanadas.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, we. I don't know what she landed on. Chicken fingers or something. I'm not sure. She changed the menu four times for some reason.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't mind tequila breath.

[Sarah Colonna]

Right?

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, it's just wine breath I can't stand.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Well, wine breath is objectively nasty.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

I think it's a sugar.

[Jeff Lewis]

And I think white wine is way

[Fortune Feimster]

worse when you have the wine mouth.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, yeah. Jeff had that after he drank his own bottle that he brought me at my.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did I have red teeth? I never get red teeth.

[Fortune Feimster]

Bott.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, it was huge.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And you finished the whole thing?

[Jeff Lewis]

Opened it and drank it. I shared it. I shared it with other chumps. Speaking of which, did you see other chumps at the Oscars? Did I like Molly Sims, Keltie Knight, Justin Sylvester.

[Fortune Feimster]

I was interviewed by her. She was lovely. I didn't see Kelsey. I think she was up top somewhere.

[Jeff Lewis]

What about Nichelle Turner?

[Fortune Feimster]

I did not see her.

[Jeff Lewis]

Kevin Frazier?

[Fortune Feimster]

I saw him from afar.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. A lot of chumps were there. Yeah. Working.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, Working the room.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Yeah.

Molly was there.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah, I did see Molly. I saw. Oh, you saw Molly Saw Molly at the Governor's ball.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did she change her dress? I think she did.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

She probably went.

She changed her Vanity Fair.

[Fortune Feimster]

She looked great.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

To a silver dress. Yeah. Was she there with all her kids? I saw.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. She's so pretty and so nice.

[Sarah Colonna]

She's gorgeous.

[Jeff Lewis]

There was something that I read which is very interesting. I never thought about it. When you go into a restaurant, you people that sit on the same side.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, the same siders. Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

You call them same siders?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, they sit on the same side of the booth.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's weird to me.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't mind that.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, I think it's weird. I mean, I don't.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think it's weird if you're sitting

[Sarah Colonna]

somewhere where there's a view, then I understand. But if it's like when I used to wait tables and people would cram into the booth next to each other when there was like, a table on the other, you know, a seat on the other side. I always thought that was kind of weird.

[Jeff Lewis]

Just no personal space and you have to turn left or turn right to talk to the person.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

It's giving Frank and Brand Frank.

[Jeff Lewis]

And I was thinking the exact same thing. Are you Same siders?

[Unidentified Female Guest]

We're not. Because I like the back of a seat. I don't even like the bench. I know. Everyone loves the coveted bench. I want a seat with a back. I want a chair.

[Jeff Lewis]

Me, too.

[Sarah Colonna]

Someone did say that. One good thing about doing that, and this might be something for you to keep in mind, is that if you do that, then the other person can't watch you eat. So there is that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

So that, like, you can kind of stuff your mat. Stuff your. Your fat face without anyone.

[Jeff Lewis]

You know, like, yesterday was body positive.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know, but it's over now.

[Fortune Feimster]

That was yesterday.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Babe.

[Fortune Feimster]

Babe.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

We're no longer positive.

[Jeff Lewis]

We're right back to normal with the fat shaming. Did you take the Ozempic yesterday?

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Yeah. I figured out how to shoot it myself without Shane.

[Jeff Lewis]

Shane. Why didn't you shoot it for her?

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Well. Cause I was scared you would be like, actually, you can't have that anymore. So I was like, I have to shoot it before he gets home.

[Fortune Feimster]

But you don't need it. You're so thin.

[Sarah Colonna]

You are. You have a really nice body.

[Jeff Lewis]

Why don't you just take it home then with you?

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Okay, I'll take it.

[Fortune Feimster]

You just take it home if you get any smaller.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, you have a really nice. Watch me, baby.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

I'm only doing it till I run out of weight to lose.

[Fortune Feimster]

I was like, run out of what? No.

[Sarah Colonna]

People need to have nice curves.

[Jeff Lewis]

Doctor gave it to me. It was making me sick. I gave it to her. You're doing the small dosage?

[Unidentified Female Guest]

The smallest dose for six weeks? Yeah.

How do you feel?

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you have enough for six weeks?

[Fortune Feimster]

I think so.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, good.

[Fortune Feimster]

Good.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

I might need more needles, but I have enough o.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do we have extra needles?

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God. I don't know.

[Sarah Colonna]

How does your doctor listen to this? They have specific ones that screw on the legend. Okay. A legend.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

It's a bit. It's a joke.

[Sarah Colonna]

It's not right.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

It's a bit.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're kidding.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. Go ahead and take it.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Thank you, Papa.

[Jeff Lewis]

And if you need extra needles, I think ask Shane.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, I must have extra needles with all the injections. You do.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

We have a ton of needles, but it's. It's a specific cap that goes on the oic pen that makes it work.

[Jeff Lewis]

So when do I start? BP 157.

[Fortune Feimster]

Is that a peptide?

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Next week we'll start.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, okay.

[Sarah Colonna]

Wait. What's that?

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't know.

[Sarah Colonna]

They're all for.

[Fortune Feimster]

They're all in the peptides right now. Nad John's doing that Peptides, all that stuff.

[Sarah Colonna]

He says the nad gives him a lot of energy and it. Yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Is that a shot?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, he does the shot. He got it. I don't know where. He's a doctor or something, but he does his own shots.

[Fortune Feimster]

But.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, yeah, no, I do the drip because I'm already getting too many shots from Shane.

[Sarah Colonna]

But then you have to sit at the thing for, like, hours.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know. I was there for three hours.

[Fortune Feimster]

How often is the drip?

[Jeff Lewis]

Probably every three to four months. Three months.

[Sarah Colonna]

Do they do the drip at, like, Chili's or something?

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah. Bring it in.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, we have enough time. Plenty of time. Before I got mine, I'm gonna say, meet me at Chili's in Encino on Ventura.

[Fortune Feimster]

Just sit there with the bag, needle.

[Jeff Lewis]

What happened? And maybe this is. No, maybe I should not. I'll ask you off, off camera.

[Fortune Feimster]

Thank you.

[Jeff Lewis]

Whatever this is. You might get mad at me.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Wow.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Please don'.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Interesting self control.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know. Good for you, Daddy.

[Jeff Lewis]

What's my friend Mae Martin up to?

[Fortune Feimster]

Mae's on tour right now.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do we have any more, like, movies or anything coming up?

[Fortune Feimster]

I think they just did a deal with Netflix to create more stuff.

[Sarah Colonna]

Good.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Because Wayward was everything.

[Sarah Colonna]

It was such a great show. And they were still good at it.

[Fortune Feimster]

They did really well, too.

[Jeff Lewis]

Cause you can't bring it back. I mean,

[Fortune Feimster]

I think the offer to bring it back was there if it made sense, but I don't think it made sense to do another one. I think. I don't know what the latest is on that.

[Jeff Lewis]

Why did the same ciders bother you?

[Sarah Colonna]

I don't know what it was, but it just used to be. I was in college when I was. And it was like this. This restaurant that people would just cram each themselves onto the same side. And I just thought it was weird. I was like, why can't you just sit across from each other? There was no view. It was the small booths. Why wouldn't you just sit across from each other?

[Unidentified Female Guest]

It would bother me, too. And I worked at a fancyish restaurant, and the tables were so narrow and they were in a row, so. So they're squished, and then they're squished next to the people on either side of them that they don't know. I was like, don't you live with this person?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, it's almost like. It's almost like they. It's like choosing a middle seat almost is what it looked like to me. It's like, why would you ever put yourself in that position?

[Jeff Lewis]

When Monroe was younger, she was the same sider.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, that's.

[Jeff Lewis]

We graduated. I'm like, I had to have a talk with her. I'm like, hey, you're old enough now to be on your own side.

[Fortune Feimster]

Honestly, I don't mind same siders. I'm into it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Sometimes we're same siders. Like, if we're meeting someone and I'll say to him, him, hey, this is weird. Like, you should just jump over there until they get here, and then we'll be same ciders.

[Fortune Feimster]

I like to split food with people, though. I. I'm like, you get. I get another thing. We get to try two things. So if you're beside each other, that's easy.

[Sarah Colonna]

I think you like the same side because you can get fingered. Oh, my God.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

That's why we're gonna win a Glass

[Fortune Feimster]

Glad award for that. 10:45 in the morning. I wasn't ready for that.

[Jeff Lewis]

Can you clip that for next week, please? At least let me pause. Fortune, where are you gonna be?

[Fortune Feimster]

I start my tour back up April 2nd in Oklahoma City. Then I'm in Fayetteville and Little Rock, Arkansas. That's where I'm going. To Europe. That does not matter on here. And then I'm back at Des Moines, Toronto, Reading, Pennsylvania. Where else? Where else? Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Omaha, Portland, Maine, Detroit.

[Jeff Lewis]

Where do we go? FortuneFreeFeemster.com for dates, for venues, for times, for tickets.

[Sarah Colonna]

You have to go to Hugo.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah. Dallas and San Antonio, Texas as well. I know there are a lot of. There's a lot of Dallas chumps.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, a lot of Texas.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think Zach. Zach. Noy Towers is doing that one with me.

[Jeff Lewis]

Me now. Sarah, you now say that you do not have another meeting after this.

[Sarah Colonna]

No. Excuse me. During the break, I got an email that says. Would you like to read it?

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Kinda.

[Sarah Colonna]

Would you like to read it?

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so you did have a meeting because I had a meeting at a. On this.

[Sarah Colonna]

I had a meeting read. Fortune's looking at the email.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Good morning from John Ryan.

[Fortune Feimster]

I just got word from Lindsay's office that they will need to reschedule this morning. Can you reset for today? 3:17 at 4pm PT.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't understand what this meeting is. Is this the gas company coming to read your meter? What is this?

[Sarah Colonna]

It's script notes. She knows Lindsay's my literary agent.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. So this is a legitimate meeting. So what time's meeting at 4.

[Sarah Colonna]

Now. It's at 4, so I have to.

[Jeff Lewis]

I can't but you're gonna be at the. Are you gonna take the meeting?

[Sarah Colonna]

Just sitting in the back with my computer.

[Jeff Lewis]

With your green beer.

[Fortune Feimster]

Unless you did 4:30 and you meet him at 2.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, I'm doing. I said 4. We'll just go at 5. He'll come afterwards. He'll be okay. Okay. I don't need to be there that early. John wants to watch the baseball game anyway, and that's not until five.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now with all this travel, you were upset. I think you. I think you might even posted an article about. Was it Southwest Airlines?

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, yeah. I mean, I don't fly Southwest.

[Jeff Lewis]

I was wondering about that. Yeah, no, that's like a last case, like emergency. Fly Southwest.

[Sarah Colonna]

I don't fly because they don't have any perks. I don't. You know what I mean? I need to. I need loyalty. I like upgrades.

[Fortune Feimster]

I like to see. Don't they now have assigned seats, which people aren't into?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, I guess they're having a lot of problems. We were talking about we should go back.

[Fortune Feimster]

Back to the.

[Sarah Colonna]

On our podcast.

[Jeff Lewis]

Or we just don't fly Southwest. It's like the bus.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, they.

[Jeff Lewis]

They do it and not even a nice one.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, but that. Some people. That's how they can afford to fly.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know, but now they're making it more expensive. And now they're doing a thing where they only. They said they were only going to.

[Fortune Feimster]

They were only going to right now

[Sarah Colonna]

clean the premium, like premium seats, the extra leg room seats. They said they're only going to clean those seats.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

So it is.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, those are the only ones.

[Fortune Feimster]

You're in all the airlines, not me.

[Jeff Lewis]

What do you care about the other ones? Oh, as long as they clean our seats, I don't care.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

All seats should be clean on an airplane.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, that's true.

[Sarah Colonna]

It's a little effed up of them to do that.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, right.

[Sarah Colonna]

It's a little gross. So they're having a.

[Jeff Lewis]

You don't fly Southwest, do you? I might have to every now and

[Fortune Feimster]

then if, like, I'm going up north in Cali.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

No, they're stopping service in like two airports.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, really?

[Unidentified Female Guest]

I think it's Chicago and something else.

[Jeff Lewis]

We might have to do it because I found a stem cell doctor. Dr. Scott. Scott in Arizona.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

And so I have to go. I have to go like four, three times a year. What do you say? Four times per share. I know, but the times are. Because I'm gonna probably fly in, fly out. So I might have to take Southwest. I'll make sure to get the premium seat.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, get that.

[Jeff Lewis]

Because it's clean.

[Sarah Colonna]

They're gonna clean it. Yeah, the other. Other people. Every man for themselves.

[Jeff Lewis]

And I've seen you, like, when you get on, there's a whole routine where you wipe everything down, which is very smart. Yeah. Do you check for bed bugs?

[Sarah Colonna]

I don't check. Yeah, I mean, I don't check for them, but now I'm going to because you said that it's gonna be.

[Jeff Lewis]

You should check your new beds for bedbugs today once they're delivered.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know if there are because they love me and I. I. My arms would get bit.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, maybe that's what you have instead of, maybe you're not allergic to velvet.

[Jeff Lewis]

Maybe you're allergic to bed bugs.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Not what it was. Thank you.

[Jeff Lewis]

But those beds have been in the warehouse for God knows how long.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jeff Lewis]

How many beds did we buy today?

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Just two.

[Jeff Lewis]

At least one of them's got to have bed bugs. Oh, you need to check it.

[Sarah Colonna]

Not new ones.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

They're brand new, sealed.

[Jeff Lewis]

Just, you know, to check it.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'll check it. Yeah.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

How do we know? How do you check it? How does everyone know how to check

[Fortune Feimster]

it for a little crawly thing?

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, last week when I met with Andy Cohen, he told me that my live reads are monotone. Oh, then you feel that way.

[Fortune Feimster]

Step your.

[Jeff Lewis]

Am I not emoting enough?

[Fortune Feimster]

Step it up. I don't.

[Jeff Lewis]

What do you think? I don't think they're that monotone.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

They're a little flat.

[Jeff Lewis]

They're so much better than when Meredith Vieira went off on me about it. That was years ago. She said they were terrible.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, really?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Well, have you gotten better?

[Jeff Lewis]

I wasn't on the Today show for 20 years. Sorry.

[Fortune Feimster]

Personality. We'll put a little personality in there

[Sarah Colonna]

at Ro Co. Jeff. Yeah, I guess it's a little monotone if I'm thinking about it.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Did he say it was affecting sales?

[Jeff Lewis]

Did he say, hey, do I need an acting coach to go over?

[Fortune Feimster]

Did he say, hey, libraries?

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Yeah, you could use Ryan Bailey.

[Fortune Feimster]

He's an acting coach.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, yeah, that's.

[Jeff Lewis]

Thanks. Ryan Bailey had to cancel his appearance. Oh.

[Sarah Colonna]

Is the baby out?

[Unidentified Female Guest]

No, no, no, no.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think we're getting close, though. I don't know. It's up for them to announce. Baby's not born yet.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, no.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

Aren't they getting close?

[Fortune Feimster]

But she's doing.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Ben Mandel is going to be here on Thursday, so. I don't know.

[Fortune Feimster]

I bet they do good live reads on Their pod.

[Sarah Colonna]

I bet Andy Cohen loves his libraries.

[Jeff Lewis]

They're not in their head.

[Fortune Feimster]

Have him do one so you can see the difference.

[Jeff Lewis]

Ben. Yeah, they don't like when other people read the livery.

[Fortune Feimster]

No. Show you how he would do it and then you just emulate that.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, are you familiar with the Sirius XM spirit week that's going on?

[Unidentified Female Guest]

There's breakfast burritos on the seventh floor.

[Sarah Colonna]

Wait, the elevator was packed today.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, listen, I love a spirit week if it involves food.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. What's going on?

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, yesterday was Music Mood Monday. So you dress inspired by your favorite genre, band or decade.

[Fortune Feimster]

You're so not into anything. That's.

[Jeff Lewis]

Here's my feeling full of life. You know what would. You know what would boost people's spirits?

[Fortune Feimster]

More money.

[Jeff Lewis]

Stop laying people off. How about that? Then we don't even need a spirit.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm sure they love it when you

[Jeff Lewis]

and give somebody a. A raise once in a while.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

We got new headphones. Don't these feel good?

[Jeff Lewis]

Actually, I will say I have to thank SiriusXM for the new headphones for all the money that they waste.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh my God.

[Jeff Lewis]

I am so glad they finally made a good investment. And we got nice new comfortable headphones that don't leave a residue on my earlobes.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

The cushions are so soft. I could wear these all day long.

[Sarah Colonna]

What kind of residue were you getting?

[Fortune Feimster]

Positive.

[Jeff Lewis]

Today's totally Green Tuesday.

[Fortune Feimster]

It says it's St. Patty's Day.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wear green and show your festive side.

[Fortune Feimster]

We're celebrating with the Irish today.

[Jeff Lewis]

Tomorrow. Tomorrow's Work Twin Wednesday.

[Fortune Feimster]

Who's work twin? James Shane.

[Jeff Lewis]

Match outfits. Match outfits with a teammate or squad.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Oh my God.

You guys should wear your matching Hermes tennis shoes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, we dress alike anyway. I know every day is work.

[Fortune Feimster]

Cute sweater that Shane.

[Sarah Colonna]

It is. You look nice.

[Jeff Lewis]

We got Turbo Boost Thursday.

[Fortune Feimster]

What is that? Everyone's hopped up on energy drinks Rock

[Jeff Lewis]

your racing or high energy sports attire. Can you believe people come up with this Turbo Boost?

[Sarah Colonna]

Listen, what's Friday Morale Toga Thursday.

[Jeff Lewis]

We got fan gear Friday. Friday rep company swag or your favorite fandom to wrap the week.

[Fortune Feimster]

We're keeping high, baby.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

I'm gonna wear my Zootopia 2 sweatshirt.

[Fortune Feimster]

Everyone be happy of a job.

[Sarah Colonna]

Everyone should come in.

[Jeff Lewis]

And I want to wear my K Pop Demon Hunter sweatshirt. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, you seem upset because you lost 2 billion.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's 2 billion K. Pop demon hunters is great. I mean, I haven't seen it, but it's everyone.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, sure you have it.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

I love that subtle shit, but I

[Fortune Feimster]

love the golden song.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't listen to your podcast.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Do you get any kind of like, plaque or something for being nominated?

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know. I don't think so.

[Jeff Lewis]

She got a box of popcorn and candy.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'll tell you.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Sit through the whole thing all you know what?

[Fortune Feimster]

I got out of there sexy on the red card.

[Jeff Lewis]

You did look good on the red card.

[Sarah Colonna]

Really good.

[Jeff Lewis]

I want to borrow that tux.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Armani.

[Fortune Feimster]

Armani, baby.

[Jeff Lewis]

Thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Jeff Lewis Live every weekday on SiriusXM as well as the Jeff Lewis Channel exclusively on the SiriusXM app.

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