Heather McMahan & Jackie Schimmel: Kitchen Sex & Cruise Deaths

Summary

Podcast Summary

Jeff Lewis Has Issues

Episode: Heather McMahan & Jackie Schimmel: Kitchen Sex & Cruise Deaths
Date: May 13, 2026
Host: Jeff Lewis
Guests: Heather McMahan, Jackie Schimmel, Shane Douglas

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Episode Overview

In this high-energy, no-filter episode, Jeff Lewis is joined by comedian Heather McMahan and podcast host Jackie Schimmel for a wild, candid discussion centered around their personal drama, home life, cruise ship antics, and the challenges of maintaining both relationships and reputations in the public eye. They touch on everything from luxury travel hacks and furnishing mansions, to psychic readings and cruise ship horror stories. The episode is peppered with sharp wit, playful bickering, and unfiltered commentary, making for a thoroughly entertaining listen.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Ratings, Ride Shares, and Travel Status

• Uber/Lyft Ratings and Travel Mishaps (01:04–04:16)

  • The group compares their Uber and Lyft ratings, with Heather boasting about her loyalty to Delta airlines and revealing her exclusive Delta360 status.
  • Quote (Heather, 04:04):
    “It’s a secret club. Like, I'm talking… it’s a part of the Illuminati ritual. It's the whole thing.”

• Travel Loyalty & Airline Status (03:43–05:00)

  • Heather explains that Delta360 is based on money and loyalty, not just miles, and jokes about naming her cat and (maybe) her future daughter "Delta" out of brand devotion.
  • Quote (Heather, 05:04):
    “Yeah, I had a cat named Delta. Like, that’s—I bleed out for the brand.”

2. Career, Collaboration & Psychic Predictions

• Creative Collaborations (06:06–07:41)

  • Talk about recent joint work on campaigns, and their love for colleague Lynn, who provides emotional support on set.

• Psychic Readings with 'Scary Sherry' (07:02–10:40)

  • Both Heather and Jackie discuss their experiences with Jeff's psychic, Scary Sherry, including surprisingly accurate and sometimes uncomfortable predictions.
  • Jackie reveals Sherry foresaw herself and Heather starting a successful company together.
  • Quote (Jackie, 07:34):
    “She said that me and one of my very, very good friends. That could be you. Yeah. Are gonna start a company together and it will be very successful. So it's obviously us.”

3. Real Estate, Furnishing, and Economic Realities

• Buying and Moving Into Mansions in Atlanta (10:38–13:14)

  • Heather talks about her new 7,500+ sq ft saltwater pool home and the stress of furnishing it, turning to TikTok and Chinese wholesalers for deals.
  • Jackie jokes about her high-end tastes but agrees to help "high-low" the interiors.
  • Quote (Heather, 12:01):
    “Well, we've been picking out a lot of Italian antiques, so there's Murano… I'm gonna go find the Murano, touch the Murano, feel the Murano, sniff the Murano...”

• Family Dynamics—Moving Out for Kitchen Sex (14:03–15:15)

  • Heather is eager to move out from her mom's house to achieve privacy and spontaneity, with Jeff highlighting the necessity for “kitchen sex.”
  • The group discusses generational ideas of downsizing, independence, and aging parents.

4. Staffing, Housekeeping, and Household Hacks

• Housekeeper Hacks & Upgrades (15:22–18:02)

  • Jeff and Heather vent about challenges hiring reliable help and share stories about staff using creative ways to avoid chores, like long dog walks.
  • Quote (Jeff, 16:35):
    “They’re walking the dog so they don’t have to clean.”

• Promotion Without a Raise (17:44–18:07)

  • Jeff jokes about promoting his house manager to “estate manager”—with no pay increase.
  • Quote (Jeff, 17:55):
    “She’s going from two days a week to three days a week, but it’s a lot of responsibility and no more compensation.”

5. The “Absolutely Not” Cruise & Cruise Ship Woes

• Jackie’s Reluctant Enlistment for Cruise Entertainment (18:09–21:56)

  • Jackie is peer-pressured (financially incentivized!) into joining Heather’s cruise, referencing current cruise ship horror stories: deaths, viruses, and rogue waves.
  • Quote (Heather, 21:45):
    “If you’re lucky, you’ll watch Jackie Schimmel barf over the Lido deck while birds peck her eyes out. For that alone—priceless.”

• Packages, Pricing, and Alcohol (21:57–23:02)

  • Discussion on the expensive, competitive nature of booking the best cruise rooms, and the value of springing for the all-important alcohol package.
  • Quote (Heather, 21:02):
    “Can I afford the alcohol package?”
    “Yes, you can afford the alcohol package.”

• Cruise Amenities & Experiences (22:45–36:20)

  • IV bars for recovery, no kids, daily drag and stripper shows, and a cruise Facebook group rife with high-maintenance travelers.
  • Quote (Heather, 22:54):
    “We took out the kids club and we have, like, a nurse’s station where you can get IVs and all your wellness.”

• Dining on the Norwegian Jewel (38:02–39:52)

  • The ship’s restaurant scene includes 13 options—Teppanyaki, steakhouses, French bistro, and late-night snack bars.
  • Quote (Jackie, 35:56):
    “If there’s hibachi, I’ll drop dead. I love Teppanyaki.”

6. Listener Calls: Cruise Guests, Sales Jobs, and Payment Plans

• Fans Call In About Cruise Plans (36:23–43:14)
  • Callers share excitement—and mild panic—about spending “life savings” on the cruise, revealing job details, and debating payment plans.
  • Quote (Caller Brittany, 38:19):
    “Definitely. And I think my unborn children’s education fund.”
  • Quote (Heather, 43:00):
    “My job is to curate an incredible experience that when you step on that ship, you get a tingle in your vagina that it goes all the way up to your spine to reset your central nervous system.”

7. Childhood, Parenting, Kids & Money

• Jeff’s Daughter’s Wit and Sephora Addiction (25:17–26:59)
  • Jeff recounts his daughter Monroe’s wisdom:
    • “Well, if you don’t want to lose, don’t play the game.” (Monroe, Jeff’s daughter, recounted by Jeff at 25:32)
  • Monroe talks about needing a budget at Sephora but admits she “can’t trust herself” there.
  • Heather and Jackie compare childhood lip gloss obsessions, with a detour about food-themed business ideas.

8. Home Goods, Fashion, & Luxury Shopping

• Hermès Connections & Buying Birkins (49:00–49:45)
  • Heather nearly bought a Birkin in Japan; Jackie leverages contacts for Hermès opportunities.
  • Quote (Heather, 49:38):
    “Okay, listen, I almost bought one in Japan and I’m upset that I didn’t.”

9. Unwanted Good Deeds & Societal Guilt

• Street Musicians and Class Complexities (46:38–48:44)
  • Jackie tells a story about tipping a street trumpeter who’s offended by the implication of being homeless.
  • Discussion on the blurred lines between supporting art and virtue-signaling charity.
  • Quote (Jackie, 47:14):
    “I thought that was so nice. Everyone was looking at me… I just want to thank you, like, for making this red light so enjoyable for all of them. And he literally looked at me like he was disgusted with me and said, ‘Okay.’”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Travel & Status

• Heather: “I bleed out for the brand.” (05:04)
• Jackie: “She said that me and one of my very, very good friends... are gonna start a company together.” (07:34)
• Jeff: “They’re walking the dog so they don’t have to clean.” (16:35)

Home & Relationships

• Heather: “If I’m going to do that, I need to be able to have sex at home. I’m still having sex about four doors down from my mom right now.” (14:06)
• Jeff about staff: "She's going from two days a week to three days a week, but it’s a lot of responsibility and no more compensation." (17:55)

Cruise Chaos

• Heather: "If you’re lucky, you’ll watch Jackie Schimmel barf over the Lido deck while birds peck her eyes out. For that alone—priceless." (21:45)
• Jackie: "If there's hibachi, I’ll drop dead. I love Teppanyaki." (35:56)
• Caller Brittany: "Definitely. And I think my unborn children’s education fund." (38:19)

Parenting

• Monroe, via Jeff: "If you don’t want to lose, don’t play the game." (25:32)
• Monroe, via Jeff: "Daddy, I can’t trust myself at Sephora." (26:52)

Social Perceptions

• Jackie: "I thought that was so nice... And he literally looked at me like he was disgusted with me and said,‘Okay.’" (47:14)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• Uber/Lyft Ratings & Travel Methods: 01:04–04:16
• Delta360 & Loyalty: 03:43–05:00
• Collaborations & Lynn: 06:06–07:41
• Scary Sherry & Psychic Readings: 07:02–10:40
• Heather’s Mansion & Furnishing: 10:38–13:14
• High/Low Design & Sourcing: 12:01–13:14
• Moving Out for Privacy (“Kitchen Sex”): 14:03–15:15
• Hiring Housekeepers & Staff Tactics: 15:22–18:02
• Cruise Planning—Jackie Signs On: 18:09–21:56
• Cruise Packages, Amenities, & Pricing: 21:57–23:02
• Cruise Dining Options & Hibachi: 38:02–39:52
• Listener Calls/Payment Plans: 36:23–43:14
• Parenting, Sephora Addiction: 25:17–27:01
• Hermès/Birkin Strategies: 49:00–49:45
• Tipping Street Musicians: 46:38–48:44

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Episode Tone

• Raw, cheeky, and unapologetically candid.
• Banter-heavy, with a blend of relatable complaints and outrageous stories.
• The rapport between Jeff, Heather, and Jackie is equal parts supportive and playfully adversarial, leading to a dynamic and engaging discussion.

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For Listeners: Key Takeaways

• The episode is a blend of privileged absurdities (Delta360, mansion furnishing, cruise-room wars) and sincere vulnerabilities (family loss, relationship fights, career ambitions).
• There is ample cruise ship FOMO, but also plenty of warnings about the physical and financial pitfalls.
• Listeners with a taste for saucy, unfiltered talk about celebrity lifestyle, home drama, cruise disasters, witty clapbacks, and psychic predictions will feel right at home.

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For more, tune in to "Jeff Lewis Has Issues" on SiriusXM, and prepare for more delightful chaos and brutal honesty every week.

Transcript

[Narrator/Advertiser]

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[Heather McMahon]

When you're Jeff Lewis, the drama never stops.

[Jeff Lewis]

For the last is a decade, you've been covering disasters.

[Heather McMahon]

That's right. That's why he's here.

[Jackie Schimmel]

The math ain't mathing and the gay ain't gayin'.

[Jeff Lewis]

Later, you're gonna need to do maintenance.

[Heather McMahon]

Why?

[Narrator/Advertiser]

To be attractive. For who?

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, for us.

[Heather McMahon]

Jeff Lewis has issues.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hey, it's Jeff Lewis and I have issues. In Today's episode, Heather McMahon and Jackie Schimmel join the show. We talk about kitchen sex cruise deaths and and ungrateful street musicians. Good morning, comedian. I think you're funny.

[Jackie Schimmel]

I mean, I'm hilarious, but I'm not a comedian.

[Heather McMahon]

How do you introduce yourself?

[Jeff Lewis]

I think you're funnier.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Just a great girl with a heart of gold.

[Heather McMahon]

Shut up.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, I think you're funnier than most comedians.

[Jackie Schimmel]

I mean, I totally agree with you.

[Heather McMahon]

Relax, all right?

[Jeff Lewis]

You're a lot funnier than Heather.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Listen, when you're right, you're right. But I can't claim comedian Heather McMahon.

[Heather McMahon]

You went on tour?

[Jackie Schimmel]

Yeah, but I live in dudes. I don't do stand up.

[Shane Douglas]

Were you sitting down for parts of it?

[Heather McMahon]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Heather, I'm surprised you made it because, I mean, you just kind of rolled in a few minutes ago, and I

[Heather McMahon]

am a very punctual person. So I apologize. I don't know what's going on with the rideshare situation here in the greater Los Angeles area. I had three Ubers cancel on me and then it was like a 20 minute wait.

[Jeff Lewis]

Give a shit rating.

[Heather McMahon]

No, my rating's perfect.

[Jeff Lewis]

My rating, Heather. Prove it.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Prove it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Prove it, Heather.

[Jackie Schimmel]

All right. You said it was perfect.

[Heather McMahon]

All right.

[Jeff Lewis]

I was worried, though. I. I was. When I heard about the Spirit Airlines bankruptcy, I thought, is Heather going to make it? Were they able to rebook you?

[Heather McMahon]

4.91.

[Jackie Schimmel]

That's disgusting.

[Heather McMahon]

And I'll show you. That's on Uber. Let's look at my lift. You know what? I hate you all. And on there. Where's the radio?

[Jackie Schimmel]

Oh, see, she's filibustering.

[Heather McMahon]

I just shut it up. It's perfect. Tier 2. I. How do you find it?

[Jeff Lewis]

I think you're looking at Jeff's rating.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah.

[Jackie Schimmel]

What's yours?

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't know, Shane. Look it up.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Oh, I don't know mine either. I'm scared, Shane.

[Jeff Lewis]

Look it up.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Now, in my defense, when I was living in London, I had to cancel a lot of Ubers because they're so slow there.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, I do cancel a lot, and that could affect my rating.

[Shane Douglas]

Mine. Okay, mine is 4.9. That's.

[Jeff Lewis]

I get impatient and I cancel.

[Shane Douglas]

So that 4.91.

[Jackie Schimmel]

What?

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, that's surprising to me.

[Heather McMahon]

My lift rating is a 5.0.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

You're just.

[Jackie Schimmel]

You're a sick bitch.

[Jeff Lewis]

I can't look that up because I don't take Lyft.

[Heather McMahon]

Oh, you don't?

[Jackie Schimmel]

I don't either. I don't have Lyft.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm so poor.

[Shane Douglas]

I'm 5.0 on Lyft.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Also, I'm a 4.7 poor on Uber. Not great.

[Heather McMahon]

Wait, you don't take Lyft? Cause it's so poor. I love that.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, no, it can't.

[Heather McMahon]

Well, I used to because it was connected to the Delta Reserve credit card, so I was getting triple the miles. But that also shows that I'm so poor that I want the miles.

[Jeff Lewis]

So did you fly? Like, what did you do? They rebooked you on Frontier.

[Heather McMahon]

Oh, yeah. When Spirit shut down. Let me tell you why I was not okay with that. No, shut up. I have the highest status at Delta, okay? I'm at 360. I was invited to a prestigious club that you have to get invited to.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wait, 360,000 miles?

[Heather McMahon]

No, I'm a million miles, honey.

[Shane Douglas]

It's something you wouldn't even know about.

[Jeff Lewis]

What is this Delta360?

[Heather McMahon]

Delta360.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't even know what that is.

[Shane Douglas]

It's a tier above anything you've heard of.

[Heather McMahon]

Anything. It's a secret club. Like, I'm talking. You you drink the adrenochrome. It's like, you know, it's a part of the Illuminati ritual. It's the whole thing.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Didn't they send you custom sneakers?

[Heather McMahon]

I got custom sneakers.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Which are disgusting, by the way.

[Jeff Lewis]

From Delta.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah. Now, here's the thing. It was a big deal that I got invited in because a lot of the people that get invited in are like, you know, they have, like, corporate cards. I spent all this money, just me, myself, you know, running around, telling dick jokes across America. So I feel like it was about time that they gave it to me. A single, you know, L.L.C. s Corp. Owner of Absolutely Not Productions. Cause I'm, you know, I'm in, like, this group with all these, like, guys who, like, basically run Home Depot. They're all C suite people. And I was like, I'm spending the same amount of money and don't get to write off half this shit.

[Jeff Lewis]

Why do I not? Because we use all of our miles, don't we? No, but I feel like we're constantly using our miles to buy shit.

[Shane Douglas]

Yeah, that's true.

[Heather McMahon]

It has nothing to do with miles. It's how much money you spend with that airline and, like, your loyalty.

[Jeff Lewis]

We're not that loyal.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah, I'm wildly loyal. Hard, hardcore.

[Jeff Lewis]

No.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah. I had a cat named Delta. Like, that's. I bleed out for the brand.

[Jeff Lewis]

You named your cat?

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah. And I would. If I ever have a daughter, I would also name her Delta. Yes. I love Delta.

[Jeff Lewis]

You need to be an ambassador for Delta.

[Jackie Schimmel]

I am.

[Heather McMahon]

I basically am. I am spreading the good word, I have to say.

[Jeff Lewis]

Those Spanx bras.

[Heather McMahon]

Uhhuh. Got it on now.

[Jeff Lewis]

That was one of the hottest pictures I've ever seen of you.

[Heather McMahon]

Thank you.

[Jeff Lewis]

It was.

[Heather McMahon]

Can I tell you?

[Jeff Lewis]

Took a long time to get that.

[Heather McMahon]

Took a long time to get that. I played the long game of Spanx, and then I started a hemorrhaging period that morning, and I'm literally, like, naked under the robe. And I was like, this could not be a worse day than to. To try and shoot a lingerie.

[Jeff Lewis]

Does Jeff even give a shit? Did he see it?

[Heather McMahon]

Oh, yeah, he loved it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, okay.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah. He wanted me to show it'd be more provocative.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Heather McMahon]

He was like, you know. Oh, yeah, I.

[Jeff Lewis]

It is. You look good.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're never gonna look that good again.

[Heather McMahon]

No. Ever. And I had, like, three tampons in that day. I was corked up, you know, I was like an old bottle of Barolo trying to keep it fresh. It wasn't Good.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wow.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, now here we go.

[Heather McMahon]

After that. Yeah. Jackie and I did some stuff together. We've been working. We just did a campaign together and

[Jeff Lewis]

it was for wise beauty.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah, yeah, we love.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Jackie Schimmel]

It was fun.

[Heather McMahon]

We had so much fun. But I'll tell you what. There's nothing better than doing a day of work with Jackie. Because when she's done and she's wrapped.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Oh, it's a wrap.

[Heather McMahon]

It's a wrap.

[Jeff Lewis]

How much do you love Lynn?

[Heather McMahon]

Oh God.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Live laugh. Lynn. What?

[Jeff Lewis]

Love Lynn. We went on a influencer trip to Cabo, Jackie and I and Lynn was on our. Was on our plane.

[Jackie Schimmel]

She's like the sweetest woman of all time.

[Heather McMahon]

She's just hearty.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's cool.

[Jackie Schimmel]

She is cool.

[Jeff Lewis]

Just. Yeah. Easy.

[Heather McMahon]

Easy.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Easy to talk to. I dumped Trauma. Dumped on her. That poor thing.

[Heather McMahon]

We did too. Did you really?

[Jackie Schimmel]

Oh yeah.

[Heather McMahon]

In between takes I was like, Lynn, just read my aura, Lyn. See, she's like.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Put her hands on me.

[Heather McMahon]

Lynn.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Yeah.

[Heather McMahon]

At one point she was like, I'm not. I'm not a soothsayer. Like I can't see the future. I don't know what's wrong with you.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, speaking of see the future, you saw Scary Sherry.

[Heather McMahon]

I did.

[Jackie Schimmel]

I saw scary Sherry.

[Jeff Lewis]

I wasn't.

[Shane Douglas]

I wasn't.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Okay. Scary Sherry is his. I know.

[Jeff Lewis]

Psychic.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Psychic. Oh, okay. The woman before me, by the way, I went to Liotte's house. The woman who saw her before me walked out in shambles.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. She doesn't hold back.

[Jackie Schimmel]

No, she does not. Like I was like, oh my God, maybe this is going to fuck up my Friday. I have like a whole day plan to see the Devil Wears Prada. I was going to get some sushi. I'm like, this is not what I was anticipating. And I had a pretty good reading. It was like lots of good news.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's great.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Good things.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's not always that way. So that's good.

[Heather McMahon]

Any bad?

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Not really.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Fantastic.

[Jeff Lewis]

Here's the thing though. Timeframes are always off. But she's accurate. But she's accurate about what's coming. But she's always wrong on the timeframe. Just so you know. Well, not always, but sometimes she'll say like within three weeks this is gonna happen and something happens. But she tends to be a murky when it comes to the timeframes.

[Caller/Brittany]

Okay.

[Jackie Schimmel]

That's what Liotte told me. She told me that Andrew's gonna have a life changing year and if I want to stop working, I can stop working.

[Heather McMahon]

Oh, God. Can I go see?

[News Reporter]

Are you gonna start?

[Jackie Schimmel]

I was like, okay, great. Bye.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, a lot of times I will go. And then she'll start reading people that are around me. So when I was there, I was like, thanks a lot, Shane. I got a 15 minute reading on you.

[Shane Douglas]

It was all about me. Sorry.

[Jeff Lewis]

And it was some personal shit that I had no knowledge of. And I'm like, hey, this is what she said. And she was a thousand percent accurate.

[Shane Douglas]

She's good.

[Jackie Schimmel]

She was tapping in my sister a little bit. Haven't made that.

[Jeff Lewis]

Really call.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Oh, yeah. Great news for me, bad news for my sister.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, really?

[Jackie Schimmel]

Haven't called her yet.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah.

[Jackie Schimmel]

And avoiding her.

[Heather McMahon]

I love her. I want to call her. I want to know.

[Jeff Lewis]

We've never really given out Sherry's number. Should we just do that?

[Jackie Schimmel]

You're going to give it out?

[Jeff Lewis]

Why not?

[Jackie Schimmel]

I don't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

Just text her if you want a reading.

[Shane Douglas]

No, they'll spam her.

[Jackie Schimmel]

That feels like a bad idea.

[Shane Douglas]

Send me a DM if you want me to hook you up with her.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. Because I don't want to respond to all those DMs.

[Shane Douglas]

Just send me a DM.

[Jeff Lewis]

Send. Okay. What's your Instagram?

[Shane Douglas]

Shane Douglas.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Shane Douglas]

I'm like, cute pics of me.

[Jeff Lewis]

I saw her. I think I saw her Sunday.

[Jackie Schimmel]

You did?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Did she mention me? Just kidding.

[Jeff Lewis]

You might come up in the next one. You never know. One time she talked about Mercedes.

[Heather McMahon]

Really? Really?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. Because I've been. I was hanging out with Mercedes a lot and she read Mercedes and Reza.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Whoa.

[Heather McMahon]

But even when they're not there.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes.

[Heather McMahon]

Interesting.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yep.

[Heather McMahon]

Like, you have to send a message to your friend Mercedes.

[Jeff Lewis]

I had to call Reza and Mercedes.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Oh, my God. I'm having a. I'm having a that's so Raven moment. She did say.

[Heather McMahon]

Oh, no.

[Jeff Lewis]

Heather McMahon.

[Jackie Schimmel]

She said that me and one of my very, very good friends. That could be you. Yeah. Are gonna start a company together and it will be very successful. So it's obviously us.

[Heather McMahon]

It's us.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Who else would it be?

[Heather McMahon]

It's just us.

[Jackie Schimmel]

I'm not even making that up. I fought for God.

[Jeff Lewis]

But you two are not. Not that driven.

[Jackie Schimmel]

No, Heather is.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, you are.

[Heather McMahon]

Back the fuck up real quick. Okay. I almost walked here. All right. No, I'm very driven and I have to push her.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes. Push, pull, carry.

[Heather McMahon]

She'll be in a wheelchair. Like we're gonna grow old together and she'll be in a wheelchair and we'll be living on Miami Beach.

[Jeff Lewis]

But you have to do all the work.

[Heather McMahon]

But I have to do all the work.

[Jackie Schimmel]

She'll be pushing me around. I'll be wearing adorable shoes.

[Heather McMahon]

She'll still be thin and be able to wear all the couture. And I'll be in a nurse's outfit, pissed. But I'll be the richest one. It is what it is.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's a pillow princess.

[Heather McMahon]

Yes.

[Jackie Schimmel]

So true.

[Heather McMahon]

Wait. This is exciting because we've been talking about this for a long, long time.

[Jeff Lewis]

What company you starting?

[Shane Douglas]

What are you going to do?

[Heather McMahon]

I don't know. I have a couple ideas, but I don't want to. I. I don't think we throw them out there yet.

[Jackie Schimmel]

We don't.

[Heather McMahon]

We. Yeah, we're going to work on it. We're going to workshop it.

[Shane Douglas]

Protect it.

[Heather McMahon]

Protect it.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Scary. Sherry endorsed it. I totally forgot.

[Jeff Lewis]

We got to workshop it. Let's do it now. You live in Atlanta, correct?

[Heather McMahon]

I sure do.

[Jeff Lewis]

And you bought a huge Georgian mansion.

[Heather McMahon]

Yes. And. Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

How many square feet?

[Heather McMahon]

I think it's about 7,500.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Heather McMahon]

800. Eight. I don't know, actually. I got a saltwater pool. That's the only thing I care about.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Yeah, it's gorgeous.

[Heather McMahon]

But also, I'm in Atlanta. It's a different ballgame, you know?

[Jackie Schimmel]

Now, excuse me. Stop undermining your.

[Jeff Lewis]

No. Atlanta's expensive.

[Jackie Schimmel]

It's expensive and it's gorgeous. Don't do that thing.

[Heather McMahon]

Okay, fine. But I will say, cannot afford to furnish it right now. I told Jackie, she was like, heather, don't be house poor. I'm like, I think I did that thing because now I'm starting to furnish and I've fully panicked. Like, it's not great.

[Jeff Lewis]

Was there. Did you have to remodel?

[Heather McMahon]

No. No remodeling. That's why I. I pulled the trigger on it. I walked in, I said, we'll take it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. Okay. And then how long have you owned it?

[Heather McMahon]

I've owned it since December. But the people who we bought it from are renting it back to us. So we move in in June.

[Jeff Lewis]

June. And are you helping her?

[Jackie Schimmel]

I'm an interior consultant.

[Heather McMahon]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

No. You know, she has, as you know, very expensive taste.

[Heather McMahon]

Yes. But this is why I'm friends with Jacqueline, because she will. We will high low.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's.

[Jackie Schimmel]

We're high lowing.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're going to high low. Okay, good.

[Heather McMahon]

High lowing it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Heather McMahon]

I'm.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's also very high design. And what that means is, in 24 months, you're going to have to get new furniture because it's like, you know, it's. It's very tasteful, but it's the latest trends and all of that. She follows all those trends. So you're going to have to, you know, redo it all soon.

[Heather McMahon]

Well, we've been picking out of a lot of Italian antiques, so there's Murano. Yeah, a lot of Murano. I'm going to Italy in a couple of weeks to go find the Murano, touch the Murano, feel the Murano, sniff the Murano ship.

[Jeff Lewis]

The Murano, Yeah.

[Heather McMahon]

But I was deep on TikTok, where I found, like, all the wholesalers for, like, restoration hardware and all that, so

[Jackie Schimmel]

I went, oh, you're divulging this. Okay.

[Heather McMahon]

Okay. So I've been whatsapping my plug over in Foshan China, and I'm sending the links to Jackie, and she's like, I don't know how I feel about that.

[Jackie Schimmel]

I want her to be the guinea pig, so I'm letting her do it. And she swears that it's the same thing as restoration hardware. I'm not seeing it now.

[Heather McMahon]

I will say the closing of the Strait of Hormuz has really messed up my tariff situation.

[Shane Douglas]

She's like, can you drive the ship around?

[Heather McMahon]

Can you drive the ship around? Like, can you put it on a crate? Go the other way. Somebody. I've got to get this crate of, like, outdoor patio furniture stat. But hopefully, I don't know, we'll see if it happens.

[Shane Douglas]

Absolutely not.

[Jackie Schimmel]

But if it works, straight up Hormuz, Great.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wait, so you're gonna have to. A house that big, you're gonna be spending hundreds of thousands of dollars furnishing?

[Jackie Schimmel]

Yeah, it's big.

[Heather McMahon]

Well, you're gonna see some ads that I'm about to crank out, and you'll understand why.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yep. Shoes, bras.

[Heather McMahon]

Oh, no, Delta, I'm talking pharmaceuticals.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Yeah. We gotta talk bigger here.

[Heather McMahon]

I will do. Listen, I've been actively trying to sill monistat anything.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, the.

[Heather McMahon]

The nittier, the grittier, the more uncomfortable. Please send it my way. I'm happy to do it. So I can get a nice chaise lounge for my walk in closet.

[Jeff Lewis]

And a lot of people are not willing to do that, so it's good that you're putting that out there.

[Heather McMahon]

Listen, I. I very much so like people that I find iconic in my life are like a Lisa Ren and a Joan Rivers, and they would do anything. You good? Jackie just fell down.

[Jeff Lewis]

She just fell about 4ft down in the chair. What happened? Jackie?

[Shane Douglas]

She tried to do a subtle adjustment, and it Was not so subtle.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, do you not have any furniture to take to that new house?

[Heather McMahon]

I'm taking a couple bits. But, you know, my husband and I lived with my mother.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know Robin.

[Heather McMahon]

And Robin has insane taste. And so she. And I didn't want to, like, take things from her. I furnished that house with her. But I'm taking a couple chairs, Some gorgeous chairs.

[Jeff Lewis]

What happened to Robin?

[Heather McMahon]

Robin's staying there.

[Jeff Lewis]

In her mansion.

[Heather McMahon]

In her mansion. And then if she decides in like two years that she doesn't want to do that, we can sell that one. And we have plenty of room for her in our new home. But, you know, like, listen, I'd like to have a kid maybe in the next year. And if I'm going to do that, I need to be able to have sex at home. And I'm still having sex about four doors down from my mom right now. So. It was time. It was time. Yeah, it was time.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so you want to be spontaneous, and if you're in the kitchen and it's okay. Yeah, you can't do that with Robin home.

[Heather McMahon]

You can't do that with Robin home. But we are not abandoning Robyn. She's 15 minutes down the road. But it was time.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now Robin is going to take care of this big house by herself.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah, she will.

[Jeff Lewis]

But what if she just downsizes into like a nice townhouse?

[Heather McMahon]

You don't know Robyn. Okay? When my father.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't know Robin.

[Heather McMahon]

You don't know Robin. When my father died and my husband, I were living in New York City, we came down, we were like, robin, sell the house, right? And she can't differentiate between downsizing and downgrading. And our house is like a brick Georgia house that was built well. And then you go into these, like, expensive townhomes and everything's plastic and bullshit.

[Jackie Schimmel]

So she.

[Heather McMahon]

No, she's not moving. Are you kidding me? You can't take the queen out of the castle.

[Jackie Schimmel]

No.

[Jeff Lewis]

And how big is Robin's mansion?

[Heather McMahon]

It's about the same size.

[Jeff Lewis]

God, that's a lot of house for one person.

[Heather McMahon]

I know. I would love for her to sell it. But we'll see. We'll see. I don't want. I didn't want her to feel like she had to make a choice.

[Jackie Schimmel]

So much change.

[Jeff Lewis]

The other thing that you have to think about is maintaining the home. So now you're gonna need probably a full time housekeeper.

[Heather McMahon]

Absolutely. But I'm weird.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you have someone?

[Heather McMahon]

No, I have no one. I don't have a housekeeper.

[Jeff Lewis]

I need the full kitten Caboodle is ziprecruiter in Georgia.

[Shane Douglas]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, I swear I found a lot of people from ZipRecruiter and use my code. No, seriously, I have, I use it.

[Heather McMahon]

Well then I'll do that because we had used a service in Atlanta and got a housekeeper a couple years ago and it was the wildest ride of my life. Like it was one of those, it just, it really took us for a wild ride.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you have pets?

[Heather McMahon]

Do I, I do. I have two French bulldogs that will maul your children and bite your ankles.

[Jeff Lewis]

We have, there is a housekeeper hack that I was just, I just figured out that's been going on for months. So what they do is they go, we're gonna walk Toby.

[Heather McMahon]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

And I thought, oh, that's nice. They're gonna get Toby out. But even though Toby's going to school, you know, daycare, and then I take him on a 40 minute walk. But okay, so then it goes from one walk to two walks to three walks to four walks a day. One walk could be 35 minutes. They're walking the dog so they don't have to clean.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Yeah, smart.

[Jeff Lewis]

And I just figured it out. And so now on Saturday, Maria is the one that takes the longest walks. The longest walk that I have timed is 35 minutes for a dog that goes to daycare every day and runs around for six hours and then walks with me for 40 minutes.

[Heather McMahon]

Right.

[Jeff Lewis]

So on Saturday, and you don't know this Shane, she was in the kitchen, she walks in and she's like, oh, I'm gonna take Toby for a walk. And I go, no, don't worry about it, I'm gonna do it. And she just did not know what to say or do you.

[Jackie Schimmel]

She wanted that vitamin D. She wanted the break.

[Jeff Lewis]

Uh huh.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Wow, Smart.

[Jeff Lewis]

And then Aurora today, she goes, oh, I was gonna walk Toby. And I go, no, it's okay, he's going to school today. And I said, and by the way, I noticed while I'm in Rose playroom that no one's cleaning underneath the furniture.

[Heather McMahon]

I said, I said, doing a white glove test.

[Jeff Lewis]

I said, every month we're gonna be moving furniture and we're gonna be cleaning underneath it and we're gonna be taking things out of cabinets. I said, I'm not gonna live in that dirt again. Because when I moved out of my old house. Just moved out a week ago, Heather. It was filthy. No, disgusting.

[Heather McMahon]

Unacceptable.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Oh, and he's got a full operation over at his house. Yeah.

[Heather McMahon]

Oh, I'm sure you do.

[Jeff Lewis]

So now Monica Got promoted yesterday from house manager to estate manager.

[Heather McMahon]

Oh, estate.

[Jackie Schimmel]

God, tingles everywhere.

[Heather McMahon]

Yes, I prefer villa manager, but I'm also into estate.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Estate is sexy.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's going from two days a week to three days a week, but it's a lot of responsibility and no more compensation.

[News Reporter]

Wow.

[Heather McMahon]

Okay.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Sounds like a great deal.

[Shane Douglas]

That's how these promotions go.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah. I like.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, Cruz. Absolutely not Cruz.

[Heather McMahon]

Absolutely not Cruz.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now the first one. Huge success.

[Heather McMahon]

Crazy success. So much fun.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, but you had a ton of talent.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Like a ridiculous roster of talent.

[Heather McMahon]

Right?

[Jeff Lewis]

You think you're gonna do that with just Jackie Schimmel?

[Heather McMahon]

I don't feel confident about it at all. But Jackie was the number one most requested diva to come aboard. Now, I called Jackie. I was.

[Jackie Schimmel]

I remember the day, the time I was at a Trader Joe's pilfering over Spanakopita.

[Heather McMahon]

Literally. Folks have asked me, like, did you put a gun to her head? I'm like, pretty much. And I said, jackie, just cut the bullshit. Like, just do this with me.

[Jackie Schimmel]

She cold called me in the middle of the day and basically was like, hey, how are you? I'm like, is this about the fucking cruise? I knew it. Two seconds. I could tell in, like, the decibel of her voice. It was sweet. It was coming to me, like, in a moment. And I'm like, is this. This about the cruise? She's like, well, yeah, and you don't have to go, but it would be really important. The way she prefaced it was very deeply manipulative, you know?

[Heather McMahon]

Also, you're going to be financially compensated.

[Jackie Schimmel]

This is true.

[Heather McMahon]

So I don't want to hear it.

[Jackie Schimmel]

It's not like a make a wish.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well.

[Heather McMahon]

Well, yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

She took the whole budget, probably.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah, she did. And that. And people are angry that I don't have room to bring other, like, people. And I said, sorry, call Ms. Schimmel Haas.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's so funny. Cause we're gonna be doing a couple live shows coming up. First one in San Francisco on July 30th. July 30th. And tickets will go on sale tomorrow. I thought about bringing you to a live show. I can't afford you.

[Caller/Brittany]

Oh.

[Jackie Schimmel]

I'll do anything to leave the family. I love San Francisco.

[Jeff Lewis]

I can't afford you. You say that now.

[Heather McMahon]

You got a quick six figs. You know,

[Jackie Schimmel]

it's one day.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's gonna take your entire furniture budget.

[Heather McMahon]

I am. Jackie is just.

[Jackie Schimmel]

She's living in a roller rink. Really?

[Jeff Lewis]

No more chaise lounge, no more outdoor furniture. Nothing.

[Jackie Schimmel]

That's why she's outsourcing her sofa.

[Heather McMahon]

I will slee on a beach towel. If it means that Jackie Schimmel is on the absolutely not cruise, I'm coming. I really, honestly, it's only for just my sick pleasure of watching her just panic on the lido deck. I'm like, they're not. There's no birds out at sea. Just so you know.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes, there is. When you dock, there are. Oh, sorry.

[Heather McMahon]

Shut up.

[Jackie Schimmel]

I know, by the way, a lot of birds sending me photos of themselves on cruises with birds.

[Jeff Lewis]

A lot of birds. A lot of birds. Bird magnet.

[Jackie Schimmel]

And the amount of. By the way, the amount of messages I'm getting from strangers being like, rogue waves, hepatitis breaks, all these things that happen on cruise ships.

[Jeff Lewis]

We were reading about that yesterday.

[Shane Douglas]

They're stuck out there right now.

[Jeff Lewis]

Three people died on that cruise and one person really sick.

[Heather McMahon]

Guys, get your [e-mail]. it's gonna be a great weekend.

[Jeff Lewis]

When is it coming up? Okay, so it's 2027.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah. And you can get your [e-mail]. when is it gonna be fun? It's May, I think, second through seventh next year.

[Jackie Schimmel]

We're one year away.

[Jeff Lewis]

All right, how much does it set us back? Sorry, what's it gonna set me back? I wanna buy a package.

[Heather McMahon]

I have. I have. It's. You can afford it. That's all you need to know. No, there's. We have everything.

[Jeff Lewis]

Can I afford the alcohol package?

[Heather McMahon]

Yes, you can afford the alcohol package. You know what's so funny about, like, our followers is that the most expensive rooms go first. I mean, I have people fighting on a wait list for, like, the ultra suite, and it's the interior rooms that. That those are the hard ones.

[Jeff Lewis]

And we don't care that they're putting it on eight credit cards.

[Heather McMahon]

No, we don't care that they're putting it on eight credit cards. No.

[Jeff Lewis]

Look at that. And it's gonna take them 20 years to pay it back. If they even pay it back.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Not our problem.

[Heather McMahon]

I'm gonna be doing that, so. Are you kidding me? I'm opening a Pottery Barn credit card

[Jeff Lewis]

this afternoon, so I would recommend you use all of your cards.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

You book the premium package on Heather's. Absolutely not Cruise, get the alcohol package, then file bankruptcy.

[Heather McMahon]

Right, File bankruptcy. But if you're lucky, you will watch Jackie Schimmel barf over the litotech while birds peck her eyes out. So I think for that experience alone, priceless. It's priceless.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Priceless.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now you're gonna have her on the

[News Reporter]

Second hantavirus case confirmed after death on cruise ship

[Heather McMahon]

hours ago.

[Jackie Schimmel]

I'm so excited.

[Jeff Lewis]

Seriously, how many deaths now?

[News Reporter]

I think that's three. Two deaths. Three deaths and a virus.

[Heather McMahon]

Can I ask where the ship was coming from? I don't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

It was going from Miami to the Bahamas.

[Heather McMahon]

Shut up. I think they're in. My publicist is going to be so pissed right now. No. Where were they? What part of the world?

[News Reporter]

They're in Europe right now.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Okay.

[Shane Douglas]

It's Dutch. Yeah. Dutch cruise.

[Jeff Lewis]

But if you don't want to get sick, you have to buy the premium package.

[Heather McMahon]

You have to buy the premium package. If you don't want to get sick, you have to consume so much alcohol on the ship that it just kills.

[Jeff Lewis]

And I think. I think what you do is you pass out for the people that spend the real money. Ginger shots.

[Heather McMahon]

I think it's a great idea.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Gorgeous.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Heather McMahon]

You know, we'll have IV stations. Something that was on the last cruise is because there were no children, we took out the kids club and we have like a nurses station where you can get IVs and all your wellness.

[Jeff Lewis]

Fine. So you. Fine.

[Heather McMahon]

I've thought of everything.

[Jeff Lewis]

You have an infirmary. It's fine. That's all you need?

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah. So that's a year away. I mean, it'll pass. It'll pass.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, it's fine. Go ahead.

[Shane Douglas]

This too shall pass.

[Jeff Lewis]

Call in and make your deposit, please. How many people could go on this cruise?

[Heather McMahon]

I think like 1600. We did get a bigger boat. Yeah, 2000 maybe.

[Jeff Lewis]

Uh huh.

[Heather McMahon]

And I think right now we're at like 60% sold, so. And that's just in the first week, so it's gonna sell out.

[Jeff Lewis]

You know that she over there used to work on a cruise ship.

[Heather McMahon]

Really?

[News Reporter]

And she. Her first cruise ship was the Norwegian Jewel, which she'll be sailing on.

[Heather McMahon]

Oh my gosh.

[Jeff Lewis]

You've gotta go.

[News Reporter]

I know. I've survived 14 months at sea over the years.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wow.

[Heather McMahon]

Once you cruise and you become a cruiser, it's truly the most fun ever.

[Jeff Lewis]

Is that where you got your nickname?

[News Reporter]

Pass around? Party Bottom? I'll never tell. What happens at sea stays at sea.

[Jackie Schimmel]

That's a.

[Heather McMahon]

That's a yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, I thought so. But maybe that was when you got that nickname.

[News Reporter]

Yeah, maybe.

[Jeff Lewis]

How old were you then?

[News Reporter]

I was in my late 20s, 30s. Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

By the way, have you weighed yourself since your trip?

[News Reporter]

No, I won't weigh myself until Friday. Fridays are weigh days.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, oh, just Friday?

[News Reporter]

Just Friday. I don't do it every day like you do.

[Jackie Schimmel]

It.

[News Reporter]

I went home to see my family, so I ate a lot, which is fine. I can eat a lot. It's fine.

[Heather McMahon]

So why Friday, though? Because you think that the rest of the week's gonna level it out?

[News Reporter]

Cause I'm terrible on the weekends, and then I'm good during the week, so, like, I have a very strict diet during the week. I eat pretty clean because I'm also here, and I have to. I have an upset.

[Jeff Lewis]

Ibs.

[News Reporter]

So then. But then I binge on the weekends.

[Heather McMahon]

Great.

[News Reporter]

Probably unhealthy, actually.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's what everybody does. Doesn't everybody do that?

[News Reporter]

Yeah, I indulge.

[Jeff Lewis]

I indulge during the week. And then also the weekend.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Yeah, same.

[Heather McMahon]

I'm usually eating chicken tenders over a trash can in the back of some dark theater. It's disgusting.

[Jeff Lewis]

See, this is why you don't want children, because what's gonna happen is they don't eat all their food.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

And then you take it over to the sink and it's. And it's staring at you, even though I had a full entree already. But then there's chicken tenders sitting there.

[Jackie Schimmel]

You can't say no, okay? My little fat fuck will eat anything out of a sewage system. I can't keep that kid fed. Are you out of your mind?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, mine doesn't eat, which is kind of a. Probably a good thing.

[Jackie Schimmel]

So, lucky.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, I think so. She's. So her nanny was kind of complaining about her love life to Monroe.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Oh, okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh. And I was. You're very open. Yeah. And I was. I was kind of overhearing, and she said, yeah, you know, I just can't win. And Monroe says. She goes, well, if you don't want to lose, don't play the game.

[News Reporter]

Oh.

[Jeff Lewis]

And I go. I'm gonna start going to her for advice.

[Jackie Schimmel]

That's unbelievable.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah, it's accurate. If you don't want to lose, don't play the game.

[Jeff Lewis]

Don't play the game.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Oh, damn.

[Jeff Lewis]

I was like, that's fucking smart.

[Jackie Schimmel]

So smart.

[Shane Douglas]

That's a good line.

[Jeff Lewis]

I thought so.

[Jackie Schimmel]

I'm gonna take that one.

[News Reporter]

Damn.

[Shane Douglas]

The name of her next podcast.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, she told me this weekend she wanted something. I said, well, how are you gonna pay for that? She goes, with my trust fund. And I go. I go, what trust fund? There's no trust fund. Yeah.

[Caller/Brittany]

Wow.

[Jeff Lewis]

So somebody just assumes that because her classmates have trust funds and she's got one waiting for her.

[Heather McMahon]

I was going to say, yeah, the kids are talking about the trust fund.

[Jeff Lewis]

They sure are.

[Heather McMahon]

I don't have to worry if robots take over the world because Daddy's got a trust fund.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Heather McMahon]

Wow.

[Jeff Lewis]

I had to explain to her. So then I said, no, no, no, that's not how it works. But she really just asked me question after question. Daddy, when I'm a little older and I want to go shopping with my friends, like, how much can I spend? She keeps bringing this up. I go, I don't know. I go, you're going to take my credit card? I go, we're going to talk about what you can spend that day. You know, whatever it is. If it's $50, $100, $300, whatever. And I said, you're going to have a budget. And she just thought about it for a second and she goes, daddy, I can't trust myself at Sephora.

[Heather McMahon]

Same, honey.

[Jeff Lewis]

She goes, I just don't think I can have a budget at Sephora. And I go, thank you for being honest.

[Heather McMahon]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're not taking my credit card to Sephora.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Right.

[Jeff Lewis]

We're gonna have to do cash.

[Heather McMahon]

How old is she?

[Jeff Lewis]

Nine.

[Heather McMahon]

Nine. Could you imagine nine at Sephora? What are they even buying?

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, I. Monica has been organizing her. Her sleigh station.

[Heather McMahon]

Sleigh station. I love her. Oh, my God.

[Jeff Lewis]

There were 50 lipsticks in there.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Oh, my God.

[Jeff Lewis]

Where the hell did she get 50? I didn't buy 50 lipsticks.

[Jackie Schimmel]

That's insane. When I was her age, I had like, one crusty nyc, like Walgreens lip gloss.

[Heather McMahon]

It was the vanilla glitter lip gloss. Was it Smuckers? They have came out with, like, their own line.

[Jackie Schimmel]

That's the jelly.

[Heather McMahon]

The jelly. And we would just smear that on

[Jackie Schimmel]

and just remember the Dr. Pepper lip. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Heather McMahon]

Nothing better.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Lip smackers.

[Heather McMahon]

The good news is maybe this is our business.

[Jeff Lewis]

What?

[Heather McMahon]

Oh, tingles, tingles.

[News Reporter]

Hold on.

[Heather McMahon]

We love. We love food. Maybe we bring back food. Inspired lip glosses.

[Jackie Schimmel]

I don't love that.

[Heather McMahon]

Okay, great.

[Jackie Schimmel]

That's a bad idea.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Heather McMahon]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

Just keep work. Shopping.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah. Workshopping.

[Jeff Lewis]

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[Heather McMahon]

It affects me differently. Now. Jackie is the Matcha pro. She understands all things Matcha. She's been drinking it forever. True, but when I was in Japan in March, I was there for 10 days. Every time I attempted a Matcha, I felt like I was crawling out of my skin and I was going to have a full blown panic attack. And I am a bitch who can handle a black cold brew, you know, so it affected me differently. But I also have a very shaky central nervous system. Jackie, tell us your piece.

[Jackie Schimmel]

I mean, I was gonna say that you have a shaky central nervous system and that doesn't track because. Because factually speaking, Matcha does not have as much caffeine as coffee. It's a sustained, easy, breezy release of caffeine. L theanine bitch.

[Heather McMahon]

But just because it's a sustained release, I don't think somebody let's a fact check.

[News Reporter]

So no. Matcha generally has less caffeine than coffee but provides a more sustained energy boost. An eight ounce cup of coffee typically contains 95 to 165 mgs milligrams milligrams segue of caffeine.

[Jackie Schimmel]

I love Jameson. That's embarrassing.

[Jeff Lewis]

I was thinking love the chips, gotta love the chops.

[News Reporter]

I was Thinking.

[Shane Douglas]

Love it.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah.

[News Reporter]

Thank you. Well, and ADA serving a matcha has about 38 to 88 mgs.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Thank you.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you'll be serving matcha on the cruise?

[Heather McMahon]

I will be serving Matcha on the cruise, yes.

[Shane Douglas]

Sustained alertness.

[Heather McMahon]

Yes.

[Jackie Schimmel]

You know I will.

[Heather McMahon]

I need people to be tweaking in just the right way.

[Jeff Lewis]

But you also offer a coffee package on the cruise.

[Heather McMahon]

We do. Because on the last cruise, when I tell you the funniest part about the. Everything surrounding the cruise is the Facebook group. Before the cruise, these women do not know how to just come and relax. We had women fighting over how many Keurig cups. They're like, well, if I can't bring my Starbucks Keurig cup, you got a Keurig machine. I'm like, we have an actual Starbucks on the ship. Like, calm down. This one woman wanted to bring, like, her diet Dr. Pepsi's or something. And I was like, first of all, no.

[Jeff Lewis]

Jill Zarin.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah, Jill Zarin. I mean, it was insane. And so that's what I'm also going to do on this next.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Can you imagine?

[Jeff Lewis]

Jill, Sarah's gonna be on the cruise. No.

[Heather McMahon]

God, no. Absolutely not. But I would love. I think that's what we're gonna do is we're gonna have a show every day where I just roast and rip apart everybody in the Facebook group. Like, finally. I was like, get on board. People were, like, worried about what snacks they were gonna bring. I'm like, you're on a full, like, floating city.

[Jeff Lewis]

How many buffets do you have? How many restaurants?

[Heather McMahon]

Too many. We have.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you don't know.

[Heather McMahon]

Too many? Yes, Yes. I don't know. Listen, y' all are really not helping me sell this. And therefore, I will never come on the show again.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, when you were on the Norwegian Princess, did you have a Starbucks? Oh, my God. I'm sorry.

[News Reporter]

Ooh.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh. Is that. Is that a bad thing?

[News Reporter]

It's a dual class ship. It includes the Gem, the Pearl, Jewel. So there's.

[Caller/Brittany]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did you have a Starbucks?

[News Reporter]

We didn't. This must be an upgrade.

[Heather McMahon]

It's an upgrade. We have two pools, okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

On the Jewel.

[Heather McMahon]

On the Jewel has two pools.

[Shane Douglas]

Two pool, Jewel.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah. And we're gonna have sexy cowboy, like, Magic Mike s. Strippers. We're gonna bring the queens on. It's gonna be fantastic.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you go, but you want the stripper package.

[Heather McMahon]

But you want the stripper package. Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

So there's a lot of upsells.

[Heather McMahon]

There are a lot of upsells. And I don't think I See any of that money, which I. I need to rework that contract.

[Jeff Lewis]

Shane, will you see how much room is on my Visa?

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah.

[News Reporter]

And Jeff, you'd be very happy to know, at least when I was on, there was a hibachi grill called Teppanyaki.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you serious? Will you look up the restaurants right now on the Jewel?

[Heather McMahon]

I bet you look at the restaurants.

[Jeff Lewis]

I bet there's. Okay, I'm gonna say the. There's seven. How many do you think?

[Jackie Schimmel]

I'm going to say six.

[Jeff Lewis]

How many?

[Heather McMahon]

I think six, Shane.

[Shane Douglas]

Four.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Jackie Schimmel]

If there's a hibachi.

[Heather McMahon]

I mean, there's always Hibachi.

[Jackie Schimmel]

I will drop that. I love Teppanyaki.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're going to be there every day?

[Jackie Schimmel]

Every day. I love a ginger salad. A white rice really just replenishes my soul. A white rice with soy sauce at any given time, at any given day does something to me.

[Heather McMahon]

And I will say the saddest part of my experience on the last cruise is every. I never got to, like, go out to the restaurants because I'm working from sun up to sundown. So I said all I would do is just eat a T bone steak in my. In my room every night.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think Brittany in Texas is just booked. Line three.

[Heather McMahon]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hey, Brittany.

[Heather McMahon]

Hey, Britt.

[Caller/Brittany]

Hey, girl. Hey. Oh, my God. I'm, like, legitimately, like, freaking out right now. Shout out, Shane.

[Shane Douglas]

Shout out, Brett.

[Caller/Brittany]

I just want to let you know I've been obsessed with you since 2019. You got me through the pandemic. I had my cruise booked. I got the biggest, best stateroom room. Don't know how I'm gonna pay for it. That's right.

[Jeff Lewis]

Don't worry about it.

[Heather McMahon]

Don't worry about it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Worry about it later, Brittany.

[Heather McMahon]

We are all living over our means right now. Brittany. It's fine.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Live in abundance now.

[Jeff Lewis]

Brittany, do you actually have a job?

[News Reporter]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Great.

[Caller/Brittany]

Well, okay, yeah, I definitely. I definitely collect a paycheck. I don't know how hard I work, but, yeah, I definitely collect a paycheck.

[Heather McMahon]

Same with Jackie, girl.

[Jackie Schimmel]

After my own heartbreak, I'm in.

[Caller/Brittany]

I do sales. So it's about work. About 10 hours a week. Don't tell my boss that shit.

[Heather McMahon]

I mean, you have to put an effort. What are you selling, Brittany?

[Caller/Brittany]

Plumbing. So a lot of shit. We drain pipes. You know what I mean?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, yeah. Someone's got to do it.

[Heather McMahon]

Someone's got to do it. And your job?

[Caller/Brittany]

Someone has to do it.

[Heather McMahon]

Mark. Safe from AI.

[Caller/Brittany]

No, I work. I do business development for a commercial plumbing Company here in Texas, so.

[Heather McMahon]

Okay, so don't.

[Jeff Lewis]

Sounds legit.

[Heather McMahon]

Don't sell yourself short, Brittany, seriously. And are you getting all the upgraded packages?

[Jeff Lewis]

Because it sounds like you can afford it.

[Caller/Brittany]

Well, I just heard. Well, I. Yeah, you know, I got that money. I didn't realize there was a stripper package. I gotta get that.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yep.

[Heather McMahon]

Oh yeah.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Look into it.

[Heather McMahon]

And a part of that, my husband will come to your room and just, you know, I don't know, go down on you. Go down.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Okay.

[Caller/Brittany]

It's funny you say that because I've tried like messaging you on Instagram so many times. So one day I'll. I was like, fuck it, I'm just going to message Jeff. So I did and he replied and it has been my claim to fame to this day.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah, I was like.

[Caller/Brittany]

Well, just messaged me back.

[Jeff Lewis]

Brittany, did you spend your life savings on this cruise?

[Caller/Brittany]

Definitely. And I think my unborn children's education fund.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's okay.

[Heather McMahon]

I'm thrilled you're coming on the cruise. But if you ever DM my husband ever again, I'll fucking kill you. I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

[Caller/Brittany]

I told all my friends, I was like, oh shit. I don't want her to think I'm trying to like, you know, do that.

[News Reporter]

So now, Brittany, did you get the

[Jeff Lewis]

coffee package as well as the alcohol package?

[Caller/Brittany]

Oh, I'm going to have to get it all. And I also just heard that there's an IV bar. I need to get signed up for that.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yep.

[Heather McMahon]

Now we're going to have a braid station. You can play mahjong. There's going to be. There are so many activities and activations, your head will just explode. I can't wait.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, what are the restaurants on the Jewel?

[News Reporter]

Your dining room include 13 options.

[Jeff Lewis]

I won. I won. I said seven.

[News Reporter]

Including Cagney Steakhouse. Been there, Delicious. Teppanyaki. Delicious. La cucina Italian. Delicious. Le bistro French. Been there. Delicious.

[Heather McMahon]

Chin chin, no Shin chin.

[Jeff Lewis]

I love the Chinese chicken salad there.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Me too.

[News Reporter]

And then Ocean's Bar and Grill. So that's for late night. And then also we've got on the top deck, Garden Cafe. And then included dining room is Zar's Palace.

[Caller/Brittany]

Yeah.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Wow, a palace.

[Heather McMahon]

And I will be sitting in my room eating a T bone steak by myself, crying.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Speak for yourself. I'll be at Teppanyaki.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, but then that steak restaurant, Cagney's so good. Martini, Caesar salad.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Oh my God.

[Jeff Lewis]

Ribeye.

[Heather McMahon]

All of it.

[Jackie Schimmel]

I'm still looking up.

[Heather McMahon]

Loaded. Baked potato. Uh huh.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Great.

[News Reporter]

But don't sleep on the bistro. French cuisine.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Oh, I won't get a steak.

[Heather McMahon]

Steak frites with a little Britney.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm so excited for you.

[Caller/Brittany]

Thank you, thank you. I can't wait. It was so fun. Bye, guys.

[Jackie Schimmel]

We love you, honey.

[Jeff Lewis]

America. And Savannah. America. Hi, America.

[Caller/Brittany]

What's up? Tatiana?

[Jackie Schimmel]

Hey.

[Heather McMahon]

Bust down.

[Caller/Brittany]

Shout out. Shout out. Shane.

[Jeff Lewis]

Shout out.

[Shane Douglas]

America.

[Caller/Brittany]

I got my cruise booked. I'm bringing my twin brother because he's turning 50 at some point in the next couple of years and I really wanted to know if there's going to be a pit bull performance.

[Heather McMahon]

Honey, there's going to be. We're trying to get Mr. Worldwide on the cruise.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Okay.

[Heather McMahon]

No, I mean, I would love to.

[Jackie Schimmel]

There's no budget for that.

[Heather McMahon]

There's no budget. Yeah, that's. Listen, whatever you want, I will. I will make it happen. Okay? This is. This is truly the. The cruise of dreams. And you bet your ass Pitbull will be on that cruise. Whether it's me dressed in drag or action saying that. Yeah, it's. It will be me dress in drag.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's what it is. Okay, thank you, America. I will tell you, we are huge Pitbull fans here at Jeff Lewis Live.

[Heather McMahon]

Same. And just so you know, my claim to fame is I started dressing in drag as Pitbull about 10 years ago and I'm the one who started the whole thing where folks go to the. The concerts, dress as him. And Pitbull acknowledges it and we have communicated about it and he's doing a show in London this summer where he's trying to break the world record, I believe, for the most amount of people wearing bald caps at a concert. And if I'm not invited to that

[Jackie Schimmel]

concert, oh, he's got to fly your ass out.

[Heather McMahon]

He's got to fly my ass out.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you listen to Pitbull? Globalization.

[Heather McMahon]

Do I listen to Pit? The best. Other than yours. The best exum Station ever.

[Jeff Lewis]

I agree. Yeah, I agree. No, it is better than Fireball. Way better than mine. We reached out, we reached out to Pitbull because we wanted him. Because we're such huge fans, we wanted him on the show. He declined, but that's shocking. However, he acknowledged how much we love him and how much we love his station.

[Heather McMahon]

If you've never been to a pit bull concert, I say this all the time. It will change your life, truly. Like I, you know, obviously I've been doing impressions of him forever, but going to that show, it is a euphoric, out of body experience. It's incredible.

[News Reporter]

Wow.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now is it? Kaylin, Kailyn and Tulsa, line two. Hi, Kaelyn. What's going on?

[Caller/Brittany]

Hey. You said it, right. Hey. So first of all. Hey, Heather. Hey, Jackie. One of the reasons I am booking probably today for your cruise, Heather, is because Jackie's going. She's my spirit animal.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Love you. Thank you.

[Heather McMahon]

Okay, well.

[Caller/Brittany]

Thank you. Well, sorry, Heather, I do love you, but I.

[News Reporter]

It's fine.

[Heather McMahon]

Okay, great, great. Okay.

[Caller/Brittany]

But do you know anything about payment plans?

[Heather McMahon]

Do you think I know about payment plans?

[Jeff Lewis]

She doesn't know shit.

[Heather McMahon]

My American Express is maxed out right this second. At the commercial break, I opened a text from my husband that was just pages long of him screaming at me about my MX belt. Listen, I don't know how the booking works. I don't know anything. My job is to curate an incredible experience that when you step on that ship, you get a tingle in your vagina that it goes all the way up to your spine to reset your central nervous system. Okay. It's going to be incredible.

[Jeff Lewis]

What about your penis? Would you get a tingle in your penis all the way up?

[Jackie Schimmel]

Rock hard erections.

[Heather McMahon]

Boner alert.

[Jeff Lewis]

Boner on the payment plan.

[News Reporter]

If you go to [e-mail], an automatic monthly billing plan.

[Heather McMahon]

There you go.

[Jeff Lewis]

I've got a whole year to pay it off.

[Heather McMahon]

We have a whole year to pay it off. That means we have a whole year.

[Jeff Lewis]

Give me a credit card.

[Heather McMahon]

You could also do it if you have PayPal. You could do it in four, two weeks, spread apart. That's how I do it with all my weight belts. Oh, perfect.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, see, you're just going to brush over that.

[Heather McMahon]

I'm going to brush over that.

[Jackie Schimmel]

I don't.

[Heather McMahon]

I didn't know. I panicked. I didn't know how to.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're just going to let that?

[Heather McMahon]

Let's break that down. I'm a wrestling fan. I buy replica belts. Okay, hold on. The replicas are just as expensive that you need a payment plan for them. You're not even buying the real belts. Who's your favorite wrestler? The Undertaker. Just so you know, because my Last name is McMahon.

[Jeff Lewis]

He's gonna be on the cruise too, right?

[Heather McMahon]

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Full wwe. Growing up, dudes would always come up to me like, McMahon is your dad, Vince. And I'd be like, hell yeah, he is. Everyone has thinks that my dad was Vince McMahon and thank God he isn't.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's the only reason we booked you. Oh, we booked you because we thought you were his daughter.

[Heather McMahon]

Exactly.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now I smart.

[Heather McMahon]

I do think I would thrive at wwe. I think so, too. I think I would be an incredible wrestler.

[Jackie Schimmel]

No. No fucking way. Me and Heather talk about this all the time. I'd beat the shit out of her if me and her went, like, head to head. Is it a rink? We're a ring.

[Heather McMahon]

It's not a ring. We're not on ice. Jackie.

[Jackie Schimmel]

It would feel like we were on ice because I'd take your ass out.

[Heather McMahon]

I'm not saying that we have to fight. I'm just saying for my own journey, I think I would be great at wwe.

[Jackie Schimmel]

I totally disagree.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did you jump out of a moving car while fighting with your husband?

[Heather McMahon]

What?

[Jeff Lewis]

Melanie in Arizona, line five. Is that you?

[Caller/Brittany]

I.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Definitely.

[Caller/Brittany]

On the bitch Bible. Heather, you talked about you were in a fight with Jeff.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Yeah.

[Caller/Brittany]

And he called you a bitch.

[News Reporter]

Your dad.

[Caller/Brittany]

The anniversary of your dad's death.

[Heather McMahon]

Yes. Yes. You're 100% right. And I did. It wasn't fully moving, like he was kind of grazing through his stop sign. But I opened the door of that Tahoe Z71 and I rolled out. And I was walking down the mean streets of Atlanta, Georgia, just hoofing it in some Gucci loafers. Yes. Because here's the thing. My husband's, like, Italian, so he'll always pop off, but I. I don't. So when I get quiet and then fucking go nuts, that's when you need to be afraid.

[Jeff Lewis]

This can't be the first time he called you a bitch, though.

[Heather McMahon]

He really does. No, no, it wasn't the first time he called you the rhyme today.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's just the first time you really reacted to it.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Yeah.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

You just had it.

[Heather McMahon]

I just had had it. And I lost my shit. So that's the thing is I'm a slow burn. I won't pop off all the time. I pick my battles. And then when I go, watch out, world.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, yeah, I like that little tennis necklace you got.

[Heather McMahon]

Oh, thank you. That was one of my wedding gifts.

[Jeff Lewis]

Jackie Schimmel does not miss a thing. She just clocked the inner workings of Jeff Lewis live. So we have all these calls lit up, and then it'll say the names, and then next to it, it'll say, say average caller.

[Jackie Schimmel]

So funny.

[Jeff Lewis]

What was your question?

[Jackie Schimmel]

I'm like, what does average caller mean? Like, just not that funny.

[Heather McMahon]

And you said, yes,

[Jeff Lewis]

that is true. So if you are, you know, if you're a little unhinged. We have little notes.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Yeah. I love that.

[Jeff Lewis]

Sometimes we have a must take.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Right? Exactly. It Makes sense.

[Heather McMahon]

And I gotta be honest, There's a lot of average callers.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Y' all should know.

[Heather McMahon]

Y' all should know. So bring your A game if you go live.

[Jeff Lewis]

Correct. So you were at Boston? No, no. Bristol Farms. You're at Bristol Farms.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

And you walked out, and you walked out and you saw a guy playing a trumpet.

[Jackie Schimmel]

I did.

[Jeff Lewis]

And what did you do?

[Jackie Schimmel]

Well, I thought he was doing a beautiful job. It was a gorgeous day. And he was in the little median at the red light. And I rolled down my window. I never have cash. There was a lot of people waiting at every intersection. So I thought this would be a perfect opportunity to do a good deed with an eye. I happen to have a $20 bill. Okay. I rolled my window down. I said, thank you so much. And he looked at me, my wrist is just dangling there. And he said, I'm not homeless.

[Heather McMahon]

And I said, you can't support the arts. What an asshole.

[Jackie Schimmel]

That's what I said.

[Heather McMahon]

I'm on your side.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Thank you. I thought that was so nice. Everyone was looking at me. I'm like, oh, my God, I'm such an amazing person. And I said, no, no, no. I just want to thank you, like, for making this red light so enjoyable for all of them. And he literally looked at me like he was disgusted with me and said, okay. And then took the money. And then I awkwardly rolled my window up, and I thought, no good deed goes unpunished. What an asshole.

[Jeff Lewis]

Anyone playing a musical instrument in the parking lot of Bristol Farms, you assume that they're homeless.

[Jackie Schimmel]

I didn't even. I was just trying to do a good deed in front of a large amount of people.

[Jeff Lewis]

You thought he needed money?

[Jackie Schimmel]

No, I wanted to thank him for contributing to society in a positive way.

[Jeff Lewis]

You have rich white saviors, your complex.

[Jackie Schimmel]

That's my line. I said that?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yep.

[Jackie Schimmel]

But that wasn't what was happening.

[Heather McMahon]

But also, he doesn't have to be homeless. He could just be doing his art, trying to get a little support to make a mixtape.

[Jackie Schimmel]

I was like, listen, my husband's in music. I understand he's jobless. Clearly.

[Jeff Lewis]

It was usually, jobless means homeless.

[Heather McMahon]

And toothless thought I was. Yes, Homeless, not toothless.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Yeah, exactly.

[News Reporter]

The people in New York City subways who are playing instruments are, I assume, not homeless. And they're happy to take that.

[Jeff Lewis]

I assume they're homeless.

[News Reporter]

No, they're not.

[Heather McMahon]

No. How do they afford the instruments?

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't know. I don't think I was hot.

[Jackie Schimmel]

I thought I was doing a nice.

[Jeff Lewis]

Someone sitting on a Street corner. I just assume they need money.

[Heather McMahon]

Well, I would assume that they are trying to put their art out there. And they usually have a little cup or, you know, an open guitar case for some extra chance.

[Jeff Lewis]

I love how you're trying to feel good about yourself by giving people money. I do the same thing.

[Caller/Brittany]

Yeah.

[Jackie Schimmel]

All the time.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. It's guilt.

[Shane Douglas]

It buys you points.

[Jackie Schimmel]

Slightly. Slightly. I was like this.

[Jeff Lewis]

And it's usually after you buy something really expensive, maybe then you feel guilty a little bit. Well, are you two gonna go be getting. Are you gonna be getting into Hermes one of these days?

[Heather McMahon]

Oh, I got it.

[Jackie Schimmel]

I got a contact.

[Heather McMahon]

You got a contact?

[Jackie Schimmel]

We're good.

[Shane Douglas]

Where?

[Jeff Lewis]

Because I think if you're doing this,

[Jackie Schimmel]

she was like, why didn't you girls call me? And I was like, I don't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

I thought, oh, did you talk to the family assistant?

[Heather McMahon]

I did.

[Jackie Schimmel]

She put me in touch.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, she did.

[Heather McMahon]

But see, Morgan has so many Birkins. You know, I think that she. If we go shopping with Morgan, I just think I'm gonna be too poor to shop with Morgan.

[Jackie Schimmel]

No, we're not. Shopp. She just said she would connect us, but then. Oh, we can't go with her.

[Heather McMahon]

We can't go with her Entry level leathers.

[Jackie Schimmel]

We can't do that.

[Jeff Lewis]

But they're going to bring out some ugly Birkin. Probably.

[Jackie Schimmel]

We'll take it.

[Heather McMahon]

Okay, listen, I almost bought one in Japan and I. And I'm upset that I didn't because.

[Jeff Lewis]

Was it real?

[Heather McMahon]

Yes, they're all real. So they have this insane resale market. There you go.

[Jackie Schimmel]

There goes the last of the ticket sales.

[Heather McMahon]

There goes the truly. Truly. Thank you so much for paying them. Yeah,

[Jeff Lewis]

Thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Jeff Lewis live every weekday on Sirius XM as well as the Jeff Lewis Channel exclusively on the SiriusXM app

[Heather McMahon]

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[Jeff Lewis]

Stop. This is Simplisafe. Police are on the way.

[Heather McMahon]

Using AI alerts, US based live agents help deter break ins. SimpliSafe. No long term contracts. Save 50% on your new system with professional monitoring at SimpliSafe.com sxm or with promo code sxm Outdoor deterrence requires a

[Jeff Lewis]

Simplisafe active guard Outdoor protection plan starting at $49.99 a month. Visit simplisafe.com licenses for alarm license information. Tennessee 2012.