
Jane Lynch, Michael Hitchcock, & Shane Douglas join Jeff Lewis in Los Angeles.
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Narrator/Announcer
On December 19. Based on the best selling novel. Amanda Seyfried and Sydney Sweeney star in the Housemaid A wildly entertaining thriller about a live in housemaid and the wealthy Winchester family experience a twisted world where perfection is an illusion and nothing is as it seems. The shocking twists will leave you guessing until the very end. Can you keep a secret? The Housemaid Rate Rated R only in theaters December 19th get tickets now.
Jeff Lewis
Guys, thanks for helping me carry my Christmas tree, Zoe.
Michael Hitchcock
This thing weighs a ton.
Jeff Lewis
Drew Ski, lift with your legs, man.
Michael Hitchcock
Santa.
Jameson
Santa, did you get my letter?
Michael Hitchcock
He's talking to you, Bridges. I'm not.
Jeff Lewis
Of course he did.
Right, Santa, you know my elf Drew Ski here. He handles the nice list.
Michael Hitchcock
And elf. I'm six' three. What everyone wants is iPhone 17 and at T Mobile you can get it on them. That center stage front camera is amazing for group selfies. Right, Mrs. Claus?
Jeff Lewis
I'm Mrs. Claus much younger sister. And AT T Mobile, there's no trade in needed when you switch. So you can keep your old or.
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Jeff Lewis
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Michael Hitchcock
Guys, my side of the tree is slipping.
Jeff Lewis
Timber.
Michael Hitchcock
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Jeff Lewis
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And $35 vice connection charge credit and balance due if you pay off earlier.
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Jeff Lewis
256 gigs.
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$100 plus a month plan without our payments, taxes and fees required. Check out in 15 minutes or less per line. Visit t mobile.com when you're Jeff Lewis. The drama never stops. I have no problem prioritizing myself.
Jane Lynch
I'm glad that you're feeling so good about this, but the truth is I got fired and it's your fucking fault.
Jeff Lewis
She gets paid for this shit.
Shane
You get paid for this shit.
Jeff Lewis
Jeff Lewis has issues. Hey, it's Jeff Lewis and I have issues. In this bonus episode from a couple weeks back, Jane lynch and Michael Hitchcock joined the show. We chat about hosting the weakest link, odd survival jobs and carnivore diets.
Good morning.
Michael Hitchcock
Good morning.
Jeff Lewis
So, Jane, I had. We're allowed to say where you live. I don't think they'll find you. I had no. I had no idea. You live in Montecito.
Jane Lynch
I do.
Jeff Lewis
That is so rich.
Jane Lynch
It's wonderful. Yeah, it's Mayberry for Rich people.
Jeff Lewis
When did you move to Montecito?
Jane Lynch
2020. Right in the middle of the pandemic. Pandemic? I knew I wanted to live there at some point in my life, and it showed itself during the pandemic. We found a house before the prices went bananas.
Jeff Lewis
Yes.
Jane Lynch
And we love it there.
Jeff Lewis
Michael, you know Jane.
Michael Hitchcock
I've known Jane since probably 1999.
Jane Lynch
Yep. So going back to the beechwood palace jubilee, even when you were in the groundlings.
Michael Hitchcock
What about it?
Jane Lynch
Nothing. That's when I met you. Geez.
Jeff Lewis
Now, you. You have done four films together. Is that correct?
Jane Lynch
Oh, no, that's right. That's probably where we first met.
Michael Hitchcock
We met at a Kellogg's cornflakes commercial. You were coming out, I think I'd finished, and you were coming out, and that's when we met, and you were.
Jane Lynch
Talking to a bunch of other waiting for Guffman people. And I said what a big fan I was. And you guys were kind of snotty.
Michael Hitchcock
Well, we didn't know you.
Jane Lynch
We were waiting for Guffman.
Jeff Lewis
Wait, Waiting for guffman was before best in show, Right. But it was best in show. Was that the biggest. Most popular movie of the crisp ones? Yes.
Jane Lynch
Of all the series? Yes, I think so. Of the canon.
Jeff Lewis
I forgot. So you both were in waiting for Guffman?
Jane Lynch
No, no, no, I wasn't. But I was a fan, so when I saw him.
Jeff Lewis
You were a fan of Michael's?
Jane Lynch
Yeah.
Jameson
From.
Jane Lynch
From Waiting for Guffman. Did you see it?
Jeff Lewis
Of course. I loved that.
Jane Lynch
Oh, my God.
Michael Hitchcock
He doesn't see anything. I do.
Jane Lynch
You were so wonderful in that and everything you do.
Jeff Lewis
I don't remember Michael in it. Do you, Shane?
Shane
No, it just kind of. He just kind of came.
Jane Lynch
He was the drugstore owner. You guys are busting.
Michael Hitchcock
My name was Steve Stark. I owned a pharmacy. Everyone knows.
Jane Lynch
God, I wish I was in the show.
Michael Hitchcock
There you go. But I'm sorry if we were mean to you. Oh, that's weird.
Jane Lynch
That's all right. Just a little cold.
Jeff Lewis
But since then, you have won an emmy, a SAG award, a golden globe. You have a star on the Hollywood walk of fame.
Jane Lynch
I do.
Jeff Lewis
Michael, where is your star? Have you seen Michael's?
Michael Hitchcock
I bought one on Amazon.
Jeff Lewis
No, because Shane lives on Hollywood. He looks at a nice condominium complex. You've walked that street. Street many times.
Shane
Jane Starr is iconic. There's always a crowd. People want to take pictures.
Michael Hitchcock
Oh, that's nice.
Shane
Michael Star. I haven't seen that one.
Michael Hitchcock
Well, I haven't.
Jeff Lewis
Where is it? Must Be. Maybe it's on Van Nuys next to Keys.
Jane Lynch
Right? Exactly. The Van Nuys walk of fame. You know, mine is right by a theatrical bookstore near Cahuenga.
Jeff Lewis
Ooh.
Jane Lynch
So next week, Larry Edmonds.
Michael Hitchcock
Is it Larry Edmonds?
Jane Lynch
Yes, it's Larry Edmonds.
Michael Hitchcock
Wow, that's cool. I was there when you got your star.
Jane Lynch
Oh, it was great. It was really fun.
Jeff Lewis
Did they let you in?
Michael Hitchcock
They did. They let me in.
Jeff Lewis
Your friend Michael over here is a little. He's been on a little bit of a bump. He is doing well. He's on two shows, two big shows.
Jane Lynch
Right now, and I had no idea. So I think that's great.
Jeff Lewis
On the Lowdown, and then nobody wants.
Jane Lynch
You were wonderful. I saw you in that. So good.
Michael Hitchcock
Oh, thank you. Now you got to watch the Lowdown. 98% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Jane Lynch
Oh, my gosh, that's great. I love Ethan Hawke too.
Michael Hitchcock
Yeah.
Jane Lynch
Did you guys see the movie that where he was Lauren's Heart?
Michael Hitchcock
Yes.
Jeff Lewis
Blue Moon.
Michael Hitchcock
It's fantastic.
Jane Lynch
He's really, really good in it.
Jeff Lewis
I liked him in black phone 1. Jane, what was that?
Michael Hitchcock
That's. That's horror film. The Black Phone 2 is doing really well, I think.
Jeff Lewis
Jameson, do you see Black Phone one or two?
Jameson
I have. If it's scary, I haven't seen it.
Jane Lynch
Oh, yeah, scary.
Jameson
But I have seen all of the Christopher Guest movies, so I'm nerding out here too.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, so you don't like scary movies at all?
Jameson
No, no. They live inside of me, and they ruin my life. I can't even watch Nightmares.
Jeff Lewis
All of that.
Jameson
Yeah.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, I didn't realize that.
Jameson
I get scared easily.
Jane Lynch
Well, I just saw Frankenstein, that is. And I don't. I'm not a big fan of horror film, but anyway, it's a work of art. It's so good.
Jeff Lewis
That's on my list to see.
Jane Lynch
You must see Frankenstein.
Shane
I put it on Netflix.
Jane Lynch
Yeah. Guillermo del Toro.
Jeff Lewis
I'm sure you did other things before Best in Show, but that's when you were on my radar, and I think everyone else's. In fact, if you look at all of the careers that were made from that show, Jennifer Coolidge, it's insane. I looked this morning. It was like, Parker Posey, Catherine o', Hara, Eugene Levy, Fred Willard, John Michael Higgins. I mean, Jennifer Coolidge. I mean, it just goes on and on. And recently, Michael Hitchcock just kind of.
Michael Hitchcock
Felt, yeah, it takes a little while, but, you know, they catch up sooner or later.
Jeff Lewis
So that's where I got to know you. And then you went on To Glee. And that was a huge role for you. And I think that's. That show made you a household name.
Jane Lynch
I think so, too. Yeah, that was. It was a great thing. Michael was a writer on it, and so you're. I directed an episode that I completely forgot about.
Jeff Lewis
I guess maybe I knew this. You were a writer?
Michael Hitchcock
Yeah, for four years. Yeah, I was. I was originally on it, season one. I. I was a guest star.
Jeff Lewis
But that's what was a comedy, though, right?
Michael Hitchcock
Yeah, it's a comedy.
Jane Lynch
Yeah. Comedy, musical type of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jeff Lewis
Four years.
Michael Hitchcock
That's right.
Jeff Lewis
Okay.
Michael Hitchcock
Yeah. But we did a lot of lessons on the show, and I was the one that provided the lessons.
Jane Lynch
Did you. Was that your specialty? But we were all very close. You know, we're still very close.
Michael Hitchcock
In fact, we are also. We also grew up in the same Chicago suburb, so.
Jane Lynch
Right. So when we go home for Christmas, we have blueberry pancakes and then both immediately get diarrhea.
What's the name of that restaurant? Is it.
Michael Hitchcock
I'm not gonna say on the air what the name of the restaurant is. And I never got diarrhea from it.
Jane Lynch
I did. Lagrange. Lagrange, Illinois.
Michael Hitchcock
I love Lagrange.
Jane Lynch
I do, too.
Michael Hitchcock
Such a great place.
Jane Lynch
Yeah.
Jeff Lewis
Jameson. He suffers from ibs.
Jameson
Speaking of diarrhea, you're in good company.
Jane Lynch
Do you really?
Michael Hitchcock
That's why you don't go to horror films?
Jane Lynch
Try the keto diet. It's really helpful for me.
Jameson
It's primarily, like, brain based, so when I get nervous, my tummy starts to rumble. I was nervous.
Jeff Lewis
It's fiber pills. Yeah. No, really. He walks around with fiber.
Jane Lynch
Don't take fiber.
Jameson
No, no, it helps. It helps me.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, is that not supposed to be keto?
Jane Lynch
I don't think so. I think a keto diet. I am like an evangelist for the keto diet.
Jameson
Are you on one?
Jane Lynch
Yes. I drop 15 pounds, like, in five minutes.
Michael Hitchcock
But you eat a lot of bacon and all that stuff.
Jane Lynch
I eat a lot of rib eye steak and I eat eggs and.
Some bacon. I just don't like bacon.
Jeff Lewis
This diet could work for me.
Shane
It's no carbs.
Jane Lynch
It's absolutely zero.
Jeff Lewis
Zero.
Jane Lynch
You know, like, I'll have yogurt that has a little bit of carbonate and I might put a little honey in there that's got a little bit of sugar in it. But for the most part, I'm sugar free and carb free.
Jeff Lewis
Does someone like you have a chef or a staff?
Jane Lynch
No, I do it. I have a grill in my backyard, and I grill Up a ribeye and I only eat really once a day. I just get a big fatty ribeye and I'm done.
Jeff Lewis
And that's it for the day?
Jane Lynch
That's it. What time do you eat that? Two, three o'.
Jeff Lewis
Clock. Okay, so you wait. Oh, all right. So you're waiting all the way till 2 to 3 to eat?
Jane Lynch
Yeah. Oh, I drink coffee in the morning though. I mean with cream.
Shane
You drink a coffee and a Celsius.
Jane Lynch
I know. I'm double fisting right now. With the.
Jeff Lewis
Right. So Jane lynch is also a big Celsius fan.
Michael Hitchcock
Love it.
Jeff Lewis
And I've just introduced her to cherry Cola.
Michael Hitchcock
That's amazing. You didn't offer me one.
Jeff Lewis
Do you want one?
Michael Hitchcock
Well, not now.
Jane Lynch
You want to sit?
Jeff Lewis
Yeah. I only had one extra one. It was too. You and I shared a Pop Tart.
Michael Hitchcock
Yeah, we did.
Jeff Lewis
That's not keto though.
Jane Lynch
No, not at all. That's all processed too. No, there was a study where they put people on a vegan diet and then they put them on a keto diet. They all got healthy and the main reason they're not eating processed food. So really eat anything you want except ibs. The keto diet really works. But eat anything you want. Just make sure that it's real food and not fake food, Michael.
Michael Hitchcock
Or take the shots like me.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, you're taking the shots.
Michael Hitchcock
I am, yeah.
Jane Lynch
You're doing the injections.
Michael Hitchcock
Yeah, I do semi glutide. Right.
Shane
You actually pop tart.
Jeff Lewis
You've never looked better. I mean, since I've known you.
Michael Hitchcock
Well, thank you.
Jane Lynch
You do look great, Michael. And that is a pretty amazing thing. Those, the injections, how they're helping people. But you know, we're probably going to find out that they're giving everybody cancer or something.
Jeff Lewis
I'm sure.
Jane Lynch
But a downer.
Jameson
How long have you been on it, Michael?
Michael Hitchcock
Ever since I saw myself on. Nobody wants this.
Jane Lynch
That's what it takes.
Michael Hitchcock
No, really. I was in this weird outfit and. Well, we were. I was. Well, this is actually, I was sitting on the couch when we were shooting it and I was certain that Kristen Bell was looking and seeing the crack of my ass because my shirt rode up because it was too small.
Jeff Lewis
Yes.
Michael Hitchcock
And I thought, time to do the shots.
Jeff Lewis
Well, it's what we were all thinking, but we didn't. We didn't want to say anything anyway. But yes, we were commenting on Michael's hair color as well. Yeah, it looks very natural.
Michael Hitchcock
It does look very natural.
Jeff Lewis
Are you dating? What's happening?
Michael Hitchcock
I'm not dating right Now, I tried.
Jameson
And then.
Michael Hitchcock
And then Tinder, I actually, like, got the next step on Tinder, and then it didn't work, and so I just kind of gave up. You mean you paid? I paid extra. But then it didn't work. Right. And then I just.
Jeff Lewis
My nephew's not working. No, No.
Michael Hitchcock
I couldn't get anyone to help me. It's like it's broken. So I just stopped.
Jane Lynch
You know, my nephew Danny works at Tinder, so you should talk to him.
Jeff Lewis
Can Danny do something for Michael?
Michael Hitchcock
Danny, help me out. Yeah. I bet he paid for the better thing.
Jeff Lewis
Yes, but.
Shane
Yes.
Jeff Lewis
We can't make people match with you.
Michael Hitchcock
Well, no, that's absolutely true.
Jane Lynch
No, that's tr. We can get the app tour. We can't make people.
Michael Hitchcock
And now on Tinder, they do this weird thing where it's like. It's called, like a passport, where you're getting matches from Japan or Spain. I thought, well, konnichiwa. That's not gonna work. I mean, I need someone close that can drive to me.
Jane Lynch
Drive to your little house in the valley.
Jeff Lewis
He has a very strange Instagram, though. That could have something to do with it. Did I see something recent? Were you dressed as a lady boy or something? I saw you dressed in.
Michael Hitchcock
That was for. Nobody wants this.
Jameson
Oh.
Michael Hitchcock
And I wasn't a ladyboy. I was Queen Esther at a costume party.
Jeff Lewis
Oh.
Michael Hitchcock
Who's the hero of the Purim story?
Jeff Lewis
I see. Okay.
Jane Lynch
It was iconic.
Michael Hitchcock
Yes.
Jeff Lewis
And then did you talk about recently befriending two crows in your yard?
Michael Hitchcock
Yes, proudly. I have to. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Jane Lynch
Oh, my gosh.
Michael Hitchcock
No, I know.
Jeff Lewis
God, you make an ugly woman. Doesn't he?
Jane Lynch
He does.
Michael Hitchcock
And that took about 20 people to look back.
Jane Lynch
That.
Michael Hitchcock
That. Yeah. That's a lot of. Lot of work.
Jeff Lewis
Wow.
Michael Hitchcock
Like that.
Shane
Yeah.
Michael Hitchcock
I got two crows. Do you have crows?
Jane Lynch
A lot of them, yeah.
Michael Hitchcock
Well, I. Yeah. To land them in my yard all the time and I feed them.
Jane Lynch
And you know that they're the same too, because they all look alike.
Michael Hitchcock
They look kind of look like racist.
Jane Lynch
In terms of crows, but I don't. All crows look alike. But you. These are.
Michael Hitchcock
Well, this one just sits there. And so I think for sure he knows who I am. So I named him Charlie.
Jeff Lewis
They do. Remember, they're very smart.
Jane Lynch
Yeah, they are very smart.
Michael Hitchcock
No, they're. They're smart, supposedly as a 7 year old. So you have to. And they tell the families, their families if they like you or they don't. So you've got to be nice to crows.
Jeff Lewis
I bet they like your hair color.
Caller Allison
Thank you.
Jeff Lewis
I hope so. The same two crows are coming back to your home. Are you certain it's them? I think Jane is correct. I don't think it's the same crows.
Michael Hitchcock
I think one of them is Charlie is for sure. I think Charlie is the other one I didn't name. And I thought we could have a contest and then whoever wins could go to Chump Con for free. Like Chumpmas.
Jeff Lewis
So you're that lonely that you're really.
Michael Hitchcock
Oh, for sure. No, I had a friend who literally, she said. When I told her that I fed crows, she said, you have to stop today. We're never gonna talk about this again.
Jane Lynch
Yeah.
Jeff Lewis
What do you feed them? Keto?
Michael Hitchcock
I feed them cat food. Peanuts and walnuts.
Shane
No.
Jane Lynch
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Jeff Lewis
Not processed.
Jane Lynch
Get some. Exactly. Get them organic, vegan.
I just did a thing for KT birdseed. I recommend you buy KT fruit and.
Jeff Lewis
Nut blend and use code Jane for 20% off.
Jane Lynch
You should get real bird seed, though.
Jeff Lewis
Yeah, why don't you get real? You're so cheap. Get them real birdseed. What are you trying to do, kill them?
Michael Hitchcock
Well, I do nuts than I do walnuts.
Jeff Lewis
I don't know.
Shane
Well, what if they have a nut allergy?
Jane Lynch
Oh, that's true.
Michael Hitchcock
I'll have to ask.
Jeff Lewis
How long have you been feeding the crows, Michael?
Michael Hitchcock
Since kind of COVID.
Commercial Voice
You know.
Michael Hitchcock
Covid was a year. Well, I'm sorry. You bought a house. I fed crows.
Jeff Lewis
Okay, moving on. After. Oh, wait, actually, concurrently with Glee, you started the Hollywood game night, right? And you did. Was it six seasons?
Jane Lynch
About six seasons, yeah. I think so. Yeah. And that's. Sean Hayes created that good run. That's a great run. Yeah.
Jeff Lewis
And then, of course, it just. It made sense that you then would transition into the Weakest Link.
Jane Lynch
I'm sorry, how did you find out that I got.
Jeff Lewis
You're a bitch. You know exactly how I found out. It was during COVID I had not heard back. I figured it was delayed. No one. No one called me. Apparently, I didn't know the other two people they were interested in. Obviously one of them was Jane Lynch. I'm driving down Sunset Boulevard and I saw an advertisement for the Weakest Link, starring hosting Jane Lynch.
And there she goes. She got another gig, another game show. Yeah, thanks.
Michael Hitchcock
You're great on it.
Jane Lynch
Thank you so much.
Michael Hitchcock
I honestly can't think of a better host.
Jane Lynch
Thank you.
Jeff Lewis
You are. Yes, I know. You do well at it. And now, of course, it was so successful because Jane lynch hosted it. That now they have spun off into the weakest link celebrity.
Jane Lynch
It's gone to the next level, Jeff. And they are exceptional television programs.
Jeff Lewis
And I'm sure they pay you really well.
Montecito money.
Jane Lynch
Well, it's better than the podcast money I'm making on this.
That'S for sure.
Shane
Maybe they just put JL in their notes and they called the wrong jl.
Jane Lynch
Oh, that's right. We have the same. What's your middle name, Jeff?
Jeff Lewis
Thomas.
Jane Lynch
Oh, mine's Murray. So you're jtl? Mjml.
Jeff Lewis
Yeah.
Jane Lynch
It's cute though.
Jameson
Do you come from Montecito and film all the episodes all at once or.
Jane Lynch
Is it all at once?
Jameson
Oh, okay.
Jane Lynch
All at once. We do like we did 11 this time and I think it took us two weeks. We do two a day. I can't do math. So somebody else do that. We do two a day because it's an hour long show. Now if it were one of those half hour game shows they do like John Michael Higgins, he does sometimes, I think five, six a day crazy. Yeah.
Jeff Lewis
Well, you've got Celsius on your side.
Jane Lynch
I do.
Jeff Lewis
I bet you could do eight hour.
Jane Lynch
I have refrigerate little mini fridge full of Celsius when I do the week.
Jeff Lewis
Jane lynch had never tried cherry cola.
Jane Lynch
Celsius I had. Didn't know it existed.
Jeff Lewis
Yeah.
Jane Lynch
And also here's some information for your listeners. If it has a black top, the Celsius is black. That means it's sparkling and it's 300 milligrams of caffeine.
Shane
That's true.
Jane Lynch
Yeah. And if you get the flat, which has just the regular tin, not black, it's only 200. So you know, just.
Jeff Lewis
You know what this bitch is doing right now? She's angling for the Celsius endorsement. The one that I have been trying to get for two months and I get. She. I bet she gets it today.
Shane
She walks right in, says one cute little thing about the top.
Jeff Lewis
Yeah. Did you know about the black top versus the stainless steel top? Yep.
Jane Lynch
Yep. Well, have you seriously been courting them?
Michael Hitchcock
They.
Jane Lynch
You are such a great advocate for this beverage. They should sponsor your show and give you cartons and cartons of it.
Shane
But why would they? Because he's paying for it and then.
Michael Hitchcock
Doing the work for free.
Jane Lynch
We just gave them such free advertising right now.
Jeff Lewis
We sure did. What else do you know about Celsius? So the black top versus the regular top versus there anything else we should know? I didn't know that.
Jane Lynch
Well, just that the black top is Sparkling. And the regular top is flat, which I can't tell the difference. I like them both. So I go with. Just because I don't want to be out of my mind by 7am Because I drink two. I'll have the. Oh, yeah. And on top of each other. It ain't a good thing. And then I go out and get a breve somewhere. A little latte. I'm out of my mind.
Jeff Lewis
Well, I was gonna say. So Kian, our producer, said, wow, she's got a lot of energy. A lot more than I thought. And that is because you've had two and a half Celsius so far to do that.
Jane Lynch
I'm a drug addict with this stuff, and you guys are just, like, shoveling me shots like I'm an alcoholic.
Jeff Lewis
Where do they put you when you're here for 10 days and you're shooting all of this? Where do they put you up?
Jane Lynch
I have a house here that my niece is living in with my namesake baby, Jane.
Jeff Lewis
You got two homes, Jane?
Jane Lynch
I do. I do. And I have to sell one because, Jeff, I gotta get it off the books. I gotta get it off the book. So I'm gonna sell the one in Laurel Canyon.
Jeff Lewis
Really? And how long have you owned it?
Jane Lynch
I've been on that property since 2000. I was in a little. It was a little cabin, and then it started to fall apart, so I had it rebuilt.
Jeff Lewis
Really? Why don't you just rent it?
Jane Lynch
I don't want to be a landlord.
Jeff Lewis
Check your niece out.
Jane Lynch
I don't want to be a landlord. And they were paying rent. So.
Jeff Lewis
Wait, is the niece the one with the cute little baby?
Jane Lynch
Ye.
Jeff Lewis
Okay, I get that.
Jane Lynch
Yeah.
Jeff Lewis
Well, where are they gonna go?
Jane Lynch
They have to find something. I told them. I told them that they had a year.
Jeff Lewis
So that baby. Yeah.
Jane Lynch
I'm not gonna kick that baby out on the street, that's for sure. They can stay there as long as that. You know that baby's with them.
Michael Hitchcock
Do you want some fun trivia? You know, down the street from where your house is is a little Canyon store. Do you all know the Canyon store at the bottom of Lauren Canyon? Supposedly in the crawl space. Mama Cass lived there for six months.
Jeff Lewis
You're kidding.
Michael Hitchcock
When she first started out.
Jeff Lewis
Jane, he makes shit up. No, he does. He does this every time.
Shane
I do improv again.
Michael Hitchcock
No, I actually did hear that.
Jane Lynch
Yeah. I didn't hear that. May not be true, but I knew that she lived in the area. More Mount Olympus or Woodrow Wilson Drive, I think.
Jeff Lewis
Woodrow Wilson.
Jane Lynch
Yeah.
Jeff Lewis
And she is Beverly d' Angelo bought her house.
Jane Lynch
Oh, is that right?
Jeff Lewis
Yes.
Jane Lynch
Well, she, you know, Mama Cass put together Crosby, Stills and Nash. She was the one who said, you guys should sing together. And they started singing a cappella, and it blew everybody away and they became a group.
Jeff Lewis
A lot of people have actually, a lot of celebrities have owned that home because it's. I think it's like an acre and a half. Completely private, gated. I mean, you just don't. You feel like you're outside of LA and it's been. It. A lot of people, I think, have lived there. She actually bought it from Dan Aykroyd.
Jane Lynch
Oh, is that right?
Jeff Lewis
Yeah.
Jane Lynch
Oh, she.
Jameson
She.
Jane Lynch
Oh, Beverly d'. Angelo.
Jeff Lewis
D'. Angelo. She's on this show a lot. Yeah, we're good friends. She's wonderful. Yeah, she's amazing. Now, do you ever go to. Did you ever go to Pache when you live?
Jane Lynch
Oh, yeah, all the time. I either order from Pache or I go down there and eat. Absolutely.
Jeff Lewis
I prefer to order it just because you sit so close to other people. Do you know what I'm saying? And everybody's. Everybody's listening to your conversation.
Jane Lynch
And inside it's really loud.
Jeff Lewis
Like, you could go there, Michael. Oh, yeah, no one's gonna. Yeah, no one's.
Jane Lynch
Keeps dropping. And also there's a bar. That's nice. I've eaten at the bar couple.
Jeff Lewis
Food is so good. You never been there, Michael?
Michael Hitchcock
I have been there. I. I usually go there when I go up to look at that murder house up on, you know, Wonderland. Yeah, Wonderland.
Jane Lynch
Murder.
Shane
What house is that?
Michael Hitchcock
It's on Wonderland. Yeah, it was a big, big drug bust that went wrong, I think, or something. Not drug bust, but anyway.
Jane Lynch
Oh, is that what it was?
Jeff Lewis
Can we talk about the weakest link for a second? Yeah, sure. So you have just. I mean, it's like.
Michael Hitchcock
Let's talk about the Murder House.
Jeff Lewis
Celebrity after celebrity after celebrity. Now, a lot of them are. Do you know what a chump is?
Jane Lynch
No.
Jeff Lewis
Okay. A chomp is. Those are our listeners and our co hosts. So it's like Howard has his whack pack.
Jane Lynch
Okay.
Jeff Lewis
I've got my chumps. Oh, okay. So just so you know, I went through here, and there are a lot of chumps. Margaret Cho, Natasha Leggiero, Eliza Schlesinger, Sherry o', Terry, Cynthia Bailey, Vicki Gunvalson, Dorinda Medley, Shayna Moakler, Jill Zarin, Melissa Gorga, Joe Gorga, Tyler Cameron, Jonathan Bennett, all have been on the show. Oh, my gosh. All our chumps.
Jane Lynch
We're sharing the same guests.
Jeff Lewis
Surprise. Jill Zarin now said that the housewives in particular.
Jane Lynch
Yeah.
Jeff Lewis
Were coldblooded.
Jane Lynch
Oh, my gosh, you guys. So it. They were mostly. It was all housewives except for Kate Goelin. Remember Kate? Go.
Michael Hitchcock
All the kids.
Jeff Lewis
What did her hair look like?
Jane Lynch
God. Oh, it was long. It was long.
Jeff Lewis
She finally. She grew it out.
Jane Lynch
Yeah. And she looked cute. I like that Karen haircut, though. But she ruined that haircut for everybody else.
Jeff Lewis
Yes.
Jane Lynch
So she got. They decided ahead of time that they were gonna, you know, put a knife in her back after the first round.
Jeff Lewis
They're cutthroat.
Jane Lynch
They really are. And the thing, Jeff, is she doesn't have a sense of humor. She doesn't. You know, she doesn't. So she said something like, wow, that was obvious. Or something like that. And they just stared at her. They just stared her down. And it was the hardest walk of shame that I've ever experienced. My heart broke for her.
Jeff Lewis
It sounds like you didn't like her, though.
Jane Lynch
She's just unpleasant. It's her own fault. I mean, it's her own fault. She kind of comes at the world that way with that. That's the energy she puts out. Nobody likes her.
And instead of going like, you know, sometimes when you vote people off, people will say, I'm so sorry, but I'm gonna vote off. So. And so. Oh, I feel terrible. None of that happened. It was just cold, hard stares. And she went like, wow.
And she had her shoes off because the heels were too high. And so she had to put her shoes back on to do the walk of shame. So that took way too long. And they're just staring daggers at her. And I am just feeling awful for her, even though she's not a very pleasant person. And she walked off, and everybody was.
Jeff Lewis
Like, mm, what episode is that? Cause I wanna watch that episode.
Jane Lynch
Has she played yet?
Jeff Lewis
I wanna watch that episode now.
Jane Lynch
You know what? You can also go to Hulu. All of them are on Hulu.
Jeff Lewis
They're streaming on Hulu, so it airs on F, I think. Is it Episode eight is airing now? When is correct?
Jane Lynch
Yeah. And what is.
Jeff Lewis
What night is it? Does anybody know?
Jane Lynch
We did the NFL one last week, I think. Oh, no. Two weeks ago. That was supposed to.
Jeff Lewis
We do have, like, a team of people over there in that green room, maybe.
Jameson
Yes. Episode eight. It's Eight Degrees of Jane airs tonight.
Jane Lynch
Oh, these are my pals. Yeah.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, it's tonight. Great. All right. And then. But then we can stream it on Hulu.
Shane
Can you.
Jeff Lewis
I really Want to watch that episode?
Jameson
Or you can watch it on Fox, I don't think.
Jeff Lewis
But it's live on Fox, right?
Jane Lynch
The wives might be the la. Yes. I think not live, but, you know, it's appointment television.
Jeff Lewis
Yes, yes.
Jane Lynch
On the schedule. I think the housewives may be last.
Jeff Lewis
Okay.
Jane Lynch
Do you. Do you have a list?
Shane
I have the list right here. I'm looking. No, 10 is Holiday Heroes. Nine is TV Doctors. I'm looking for housewives who are holiday heroes.
Jane Lynch
I think it's called reality Ex Wives.
Jeff Lewis
The first one, Jonathan Bennett. All the Christmas kings and queens.
Michael Hitchcock
Okay.
Jeff Lewis
Yeah. So that's why Jonathan Bennett is.
Michael Hitchcock
Right.
Jane Lynch
It was the Hallmark movie Christmas Stars. Right?
Jeff Lewis
Yeah.
Jane Lynch
Anyway, I think it's been on and it might be called the Ex Wives Club. Yes, it's the Ex Wives Club.
Michael Hitchcock
It's airing on November 24th.
Jane Lynch
Oh, it's coming up.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, good. Look at you, Oscar.
Jane Lynch
Way to go, Oscar. Thank you.
Jeff Lewis
Somebody is.
Narrator/Announcer
You guys.
Jane Lynch
That is appointment television. November 24th. Mark your calendar.
Michael Hitchcock
Now. Why in the world would she take her shoes off knowing she'd have to put them back on if she leaves?
Jane Lynch
I know a lot of people do. They wear, like, these great shoes and then we have to pause for them to put them on because they can't stand there behind the podium and, you know, their.
Michael Hitchcock
But there's not a camera make it. That would be awful.
Jane Lynch
That would be funny if they kept. If they didn't edit that out. It was so painful.
Jeff Lewis
I do love a sore loser, though.
Jane Lynch
Yeah. Oh, terrible.
Jeff Lewis
Are there more where people are pissed off?
Jane Lynch
No, Everybody is, like, at Goodwill, you know. Oh, sorry to vote you off. Oh, I had so much fun. See you guys later. Only that is the only time we had a sore loser.
Jeff Lewis
God, I love it. Now, let me ask you this, Jane. So there's something about celebrities, you know, wealthy, privileged celebrities winning money. It always has to be a charity element. But why, really? Because, I mean, you know, the gig. Just so you guys know, nobody's doing that for free. They're all getting paid. Yes. It is so nice of the network to put money.
Jane Lynch
They're getting, like, what I'm getting for this podcast, they get about $500, right?
Jeff Lewis
They're getting paid.
Jane Lynch
Yeah.
Jeff Lewis
But they also get to win money for their charity. My guess is they're getting more than that. But I just. Nobody ever. You can never have a show where celebrities win money without donating charity. That's the show I want to do.
Jane Lynch
So. Remember network battle of the network stars?
Michael Hitchcock
Yeah.
Jane Lynch
They kept that money.
Jeff Lewis
Yeah.
Jane Lynch
Christy McNichol walked away with a hundred thousand dollars or something like that. They kept that money. There was no. There was no celeb or charity.
Jeff Lewis
So my experience is when I have done these, you know, competition shows, they're. They pay anywhere between, like, five and 15 grand, depending on who you are.
Jane Lynch
No, I have no idea.
Jeff Lewis
And then they give money, and then they. Which is nice. Then they might give five or ten to charity, whatever. But I don't want you. I don't want you, you know, thinking for a second that these people are doing it for free.
Shane
Jill said she didn't do it out of the goodness of her heart. I'm shook.
Michael Hitchcock
I'm shocked.
Jane Lynch
I know. I don't think they make a lot, though. I don't think. I don't think ours do anyway. I think they get, like, sag after a minimum. I don't think.
Jeff Lewis
I don't think they're telling you the truth, Jane.
Jane Lynch
Is that right?
Jeff Lewis
Yeah.
Jane Lynch
I could be wrong.
Jeff Lewis
Maybe next season.
Jane Lynch
Yeah, maybe I'll get the truth next season. I'm gonna walk in next season and go, I demand the truth. What are you paying these people?
Jeff Lewis
I actually think it's. Look, I like the Weakest Link, but I think I'm in a really, like, celebrity Edition.
Jane Lynch
It is great.
Jeff Lewis
And are there just a bunch of dumbass celebrities on there?
Michael Hitchcock
Yes.
Jane Lynch
You know what's so funny?
Jeff Lewis
They're so stupid.
Jane Lynch
The ex. Oh, there are some, and then there's some that you go, wow. Let me case in point. Glee. So Court Overstreet and Heather Morris were the dumb blondes on the show. And frankly, let's be honest, they're dumb blondes in real life. They're not on the Weakest Link.
Jeff Lewis
Really?
Jane Lynch
Oh, my gosh. I was blown away. Amber, of course, won because Amber is the best. Yeah. Amber Riley is the best game player. She wins everything.
Michael Hitchcock
She won Dancing with the Stars.
Jane Lynch
That's right.
Michael Hitchcock
Yeah. She wins the block.
Jane Lynch
And she has a, you know, cornucopia of information. She just knows, like, facts, and she's great with trivia. But Cord and Heather did so well.
Michael Hitchcock
Well, Chord's smart. He's just. Yeah.
Jeff Lewis
Is there anyone? You were like, God, you're a dumbass.
Jane Lynch
I'm trying to think. Oh, I can't. I can't remember, unfortunately. Here's the listing together.
Jeff Lewis
Here's the list. Please tell me, like, who surprised you?
Jane Lynch
Okay.
Jeff Lewis
That they're. God, they're smart. Or here's another one. Here's more. Or who's was just really dumb.
Michael Hitchcock
Do they dumb? It down though, for celebrities. They must.
Jane Lynch
No, they don't dumb it down. And the thing is, is that there's a variety of questions. So, you know, you might get a question about breakfast cereal and the next round you get a question about quantum physics or high art. You know, so it's.
Jeff Lewis
I could do the breakfast cereal.
Jane Lynch
Yeah, right, exactly. So let me think.
Let's see.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, God, there is a huge list.
Jane Lynch
Yeah.
Jeff Lewis
There is somebody that was really kind of like, wow, that person's really smart. I was shocked.
Jane Lynch
Well, I was shocked about Cordova Street. We'll say that. Let me see. Football legends. That was entertaining. Look, they're not dumbasses, but they definitely have a specific kind of genre where they can answer the questions. And we didn't give them a lot of sports questions. So it's really entertaining to watch.
Jeff Lewis
Now I'm gonna have to call bullshit on something before we take a break. You had posted, Michael, that you now have a fan club in Oklahoma City. It's a chapter. You have a chap chapter of your fan club. This is what Keon told me.
Michael Hitchcock
I don't know what you're talking about. A fan club in Oklahoma City. Yeah.
Jeff Lewis
Is that you?
Michael Hitchcock
No, I don't know what you're talking about.
Shane
Him and a wig.
Jameson
It was me. You had reposted someone that put Meet the neighbors low down. Proud to be co president of the Oklahoma chapter of the Michael Hitchcock fan club. These two people. And you'd repost.
Jeff Lewis
Are you. You're trying to make that happen?
Michael Hitchcock
I am, yeah. Oh, you caught me.
Yeah. I'm trying to make it.
Jeff Lewis
Congratulations on the new chapter in Oklahoma City. Thank you.
Michael Hitchcock
Thank you, whoever you are. I don't. I don't remember posting that. Anyway, we're gonna have to keep talking cause that's a horrible. Out for a break.
Narrator/Announcer
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Jeff Lewis
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Commercial Voice
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Jeff Lewis
All right, there are two things. So I get these notes in the morning and I look at them and I there is two things that I very much related to you, Jane Lynch. One was your mother was not very supportive of your acting career. And I believe I have her quote, you will not be an actress. This will not be the life for you.
Jane Lynch
She hated that she said that she realized later she was trying to protect me.
Jeff Lewis
So she actually apologized.
Jane Lynch
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, my parents didn't.
I was told that design was not a career. It is a hobby and I will never make money doing it.
Jane Lynch
Yeah.
Michael Hitchcock
Wow.
Jane Lynch
That's what I was told. In their perception, it probably isn't something that makes money. And in my mother's mind, I was in a southern suburb of Chicago going to a public school.
And I said, I want to do what they're doing on the television. And she was like, you can't do that.
Jeff Lewis
I'm curious both of you. Now, you've both have had a lot of success, long careers, but you go, you know there's times where you're not working and especially in your younger years. What did you do to survive? Like, what kind of jobs did you both have?
Jane Lynch
What'd you do?
Michael Hitchcock
The very first thing I did, I was a Universal Studios tour guide during college. And I can still give part of the tour. Like a French. That is a facade, which is a French word meaning false front.
Jane Lynch
I mean, like.
Michael Hitchcock
Yeah, so, yeah, I did that. I worked at this thing called celebrity service where you could call them and they. If you paid them money, they would tell you where celebrities lived and give them their phone number.
Jane Lynch
Oh, my gosh.
Michael Hitchcock
I don't know if it still exists, but it. I worked there.
Jane Lynch
Wow.
Michael Hitchcock
Yeah, so, yeah, I did that.
Jane Lynch
Yeah, I did reception work. Temp. Temp work. So there was a place in Chicago, a temporary agency called Loftus and o'. Meara. Do you remember that? You probably weren't there then.
Michael Hitchcock
No, I don't remember Loftus and Omera.
Jane Lynch
Well, I was pretty good at the switchboards and so I worked as much as I wanted.
Jeff Lewis
So then if you had auditions or you had jobs, you could just. Because it was temp, would you tell them the night before on the.
Jane Lynch
Yeah, we tell them the night before. But sometimes I would get a gig that says, it's the whole week. Can you do it? And then you're in.
Michael Hitchcock
Oh, and by the way, I just want to say we said this off the air on Glee. Jane was by far the hardest worker there with a smile on her face, always.
Jane Lynch
Aw, that's so sweet.
Jeff Lewis
As they say about me. Yeah, always a smile.
Michael Hitchcock
But I mean, those monologues that Sue Sylvester had to do were incredibly hard to do.
Jane Lynch
Paige's lesbian.
Michael Hitchcock
And well, okay, okay.
Jane Lynch
Yes, I am.
Michael Hitchcock
And yeah, and yeah, you were just. And I'm talking even. Even. Just like the things where you have to put stuff on a bulletin board and they, you know, they could have used somebody else's hands for the close ups. You just did it.
Jane Lynch
I let them use my hands.
Michael Hitchcock
Yeah.
Jane Lynch
No, but thank you.
Michael Hitchcock
You know, those days were very, very long.
Jane Lynch
Yeah, they were.
Jeff Lewis
Speaking of lesbians.
Jane Lynch
Yes.
Jeff Lewis
What kind of car do you drive?
Jane Lynch
I drive a Mercedes hybrid. Oh, it's the small suv.
It's not a Subaru.
Jeff Lewis
That's not what.
Jane Lynch
I'm probably more on point, but it's GLC350E.
Jeff Lewis
I know exactly the model.
Jane Lynch
Yeah. And I love it. It's a beautiful car.
Jeff Lewis
You charge it every night?
Jane Lynch
I charge it every night.
Jeff Lewis
Do you ever run out of charge?
Jane Lynch
Well, it's a hybrid, so the gas.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, that's fine. That's what I would need.
Jane Lynch
But this car gets 70 miles of charge and it's a hybrid, so that's. It's a plug in hybrid. So that's pretty good because I had a Volvo hybrid before and that. Only that was like.
Jeff Lewis
What did I say?
Jane Lynch
Oh, yeah, that's very.
Shane
He said lesbian. Lesbian.
Jeff Lewis
Okay. So I parked on P4. I saw this really cute white Volvo SUV. Oh, you thought it was. And I'm like, that's Jane Lynch.
Michael Hitchcock
That's funny.
Jeff Lewis
And then I went around the corner and I saw a black Volkswagen Golf station wagon. And I'm like, it's either that or it's the Volvo. I never would have guessed the Mercedes.
Jane Lynch
Yeah, I've had a. Had a Volkswagen for years. I had a Golf. I had a bright red gold. So you were right. And then the Volvo before you.
Jeff Lewis
Lesbians are so practical.
Jane Lynch
I know. And very predictable.
Shane
Predictable.
Jeff Lewis
And are you into gardening?
Jane Lynch
Yes. I'm not very good at it, but I really appreciate it. And I just had everything replanted and now with this rain, it's just everything's looking wonderful.
Jeff Lewis
I lived across the street in the Hollywood Hills from this really lovely lesbian couple. They had the most beautiful yard I have ever seen. They were both out there every single weekend, always planting, replanting. It was stunning. Like out of a magazine stunning.
Jane Lynch
We're not stunning so much, but it's nice.
Jeff Lewis
But is that a thing with lesbians? The gardening and the lesbian?
Jane Lynch
Yeah, I think getting your hands dirty, that's a very lesbian thing. The Earth. Being in the earth.
Jeff Lewis
Yes. And do you all barbecue?
Jane Lynch
I think we all do barbecue. I barbecue even in the rain. I will make my steak in the rain and I will hold up my umbrella and cook my steak.
Jeff Lewis
I'm a huge, huge, huge meat lover steak.
Jameson
All of that.
Jeff Lewis
I wonder if I should start this.
Jane Lynch
It's good. The most nutritionally dense food on the planet is fatty red meat.
Jeff Lewis
Now, there was another thing that I related to you is that you tend to. You spend a lot of time on YouTube like I do. Yes, I do now. You actually watch UFO videos.
Jane Lynch
I do, yeah.
Jeff Lewis
Okay. And what do you think of this three eye atlas?
Jane Lynch
Oh, wonderful. I'm so glad you brought that up. Well, it's starting to look. Yes, it's starting to look more like a comet.
Jeff Lewis
It is. Okay.
Jane Lynch
It's got a tail now, but it didn't have one before. It actually had what might. You couldn't call it a tail, but it was energy going toward the Sun. So now it's gone back. So I think, you know, it's anomalous in many ways.
Jeff Lewis
I know. I read this morning it's like 12 anomalies.
Jane Lynch
Yeah. Within this so called comet. Yeah. They're calling it interstellar object, but they still say. What are they saying?
Jeff Lewis
Could be of technological origin from beyond.
Jane Lynch
It could be. Yeah, it could be. It could be a. Well, that's Avi Loeb. Do you know who that is?
Jeff Lewis
No.
Jane Lynch
He's this Harvard scientist who's kind of gone off the grid into the UFO world. And he's got his own organization called the Galileo Project. And he's looking. He looks at all this stuff and a lot of people think he's nuts, but he's not. And he has a lot to say about Three Eye Atlas.
Jeff Lewis
So Three Eye Atlas, I think gets closest to the Earth on December 19th.
Jane Lynch
19Th. Right before the solstice.
Jeff Lewis
I hear it's gonna be closest to Montecito.
Jane Lynch
Oh, is that what you get? That's what I'm feeling, yeah. So anyway, I keep an eye on it and I keep my heart open and my consciousness as open as I can. If there are any gifts to be bestowed, I want to receive them.
Jeff Lewis
Now, you also like near death experiences?
Jane Lynch
I do, yeah.
Jeff Lewis
Do you like disaster videos?
Jane Lynch
No, can't do that.
Jeff Lewis
I do a lot of.
Jane Lynch
Oh, I can't do that. Yeah, you like to, but do you?
Jeff Lewis
Shark attacks, cruise ships in stores.
Jane Lynch
They have to have a happy ending, though. No.
Jeff Lewis
You know, what happens is. Jane, I will go. I kind of go down the rabbit hole with tsunamis, car accidents, planes trying to land in bad weather.
Jane Lynch
Can't do it.
Jeff Lewis
But then I switch over to, like, cute pet videos. I don't know what it is.
Jane Lynch
Me, too.
Jeff Lewis
Depends on the mood.
Jane Lynch
Yeah, yeah. Cute pet shorts.
Jeff Lewis
And are you afraid to ask Michael what he's watching?
Jane Lynch
Yeah, Michael, what are you watching?
Michael Hitchcock
Besides Dr. Pimple Popper?
Jane Lynch
Yeah, do you watch that? Oh, she's on our show, Dr. Pimple Popper. TV Doctors, which is next week.
Jeff Lewis
How did she do?
Jane Lynch
She did great. All the doctors were great. They were all smart. They were pretty competitive, too.
Michael Hitchcock
I'm watching Pluribus right now. I really like Pluribus. Have you seen that yet?
Jane Lynch
No, I haven't.
Michael Hitchcock
Good. It's just. It's on Apple and it's. It's just.
Jane Lynch
Oh, I heard about this.
Michael Hitchcock
So weird.
Jane Lynch
And is this the. What's his name from Go. Better Ask Saul.
Michael Hitchcock
Yes, It's. It's. It's Vince. Gillian.
Jane Lynch
Yeah, Vince Gilligan.
Michael Hitchcock
And there's this new show called the Lowdown starring Ethan Hawke.
Jane Lynch
And I hear there's a particular guy like number six or seven on the call sheet.
Jeff Lewis
No one can remember his name, but he has a star, I think the Hollywood Star Walk of fame on Van Nuys next to Keys. Yeah. Jane lynch, you have sold the weakest link to me. I can't wait to watch it. Tonight is episode eight on Fox. I think it's nine, eight central. And then tomorrow it streams on Hulu and you can watch all the episodes streaming on Hulu. Can we take Alison in Washington? Line two. Hi, Allison.
Caller Allison
Hello. Hi. So I've heard you talk about crows before. I never watch or listen live, but today I thought, this is my day. So I had a neighbor and he turned out to be a pedophile of 13 year old boys, which I have. And I thought, what reasonable thing can I do here? I'll feed the crows. So I started feeding the crows peanuts and telling them, hey, I wish the best for this man somewhere else now. They chose his destiny, not me. I came home from vacation, I looked in his window and his head was hanging in his lap.
Jeff Lewis
Ooh. What happened?
Michael Hitchcock
Did the crows kill him?
Jeff Lewis
What happened?
Caller Allison
Okay, well, before I left, there was a big crow that I'd never seen before. And on this vacation, I was, you know, drinking, having fun with my sister in law and I said, oh, he's for sure rotting dead in there as a joke. Well, I come home and it happened. They got him.
Jeff Lewis
The crows killed him?
Shane
Yes.
Jeff Lewis
Do you think maybe he died a natural death and then the crows just kind of help themselves?
Caller Allison
We can believe that. We can believe that. We can believe that. I also waited a day to call the police because my son said, my friends are coming over. Let's make. Let's see if we can see this. I know I'm terrible, but I didn't know if he was really dead or if he was drunk and passed out.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, then you waited a day and you realized he was dead.
Caller Allison
Yeah, his head didn't move. So I believe the power of the crows.
Michael Hitchcock
Well, they are smart. Maybe they talked to each other and said, let's get them.
Jeff Lewis
It's a cautionary tale, Michael.
Jameson
There's also that Alfred Hitchcock movie. Oh, that's the Birds.
Jeff Lewis
The birds.
Jameson
But that's crows.
Michael Hitchcock
The crows are in it.
Jameson
Yes.
Jeff Lewis
I don't think they're crows. They're seagulls. Right?
Michael Hitchcock
They're all of the birds.
Jeff Lewis
I don't know, can we look it up? Because I feel like it's the seagulls that were in the birds. Not the crows.
Michael Hitchcock
There's tons of all sorts of birds.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, there is a movie called the Crow, and I think it had a couple different sequels.
Michael Hitchcock
Yeah.
Jameson
All right.
Jeff Lewis
Thank you, Allison. What is uplifting?
Jameson
Now, you were at Lululemon, primarily crows, gulls, and sparrows.
Jeff Lewis
Okay, thank you. Thanks for clarifying. You were at Lululemon and you had some. You did not have great customer service.
Michael Hitchcock
I can't say what store I was at, but it rhymes with Lululemon.
No, I went in there.
Jameson
I went.
Michael Hitchcock
I was over there yesterday, you know, because I was. Whatever. I was shopping for something else, and I thought, I'll stop in there and see what they've got for the holidays, because holidays are coming up. I thought, oh, here's something nice, maybe for my brother. And so I went, and I was going to purchase a jacket. And then I, you know, said, it's going to be a gift. They went, great. And then I said, oh, and I'd like a box. And then they said, oh, we don't give out boxes until December 1st. And then I said, okay, well, I'll come back on December 1st, and I'm sure you'll give me a box then. And they went, no, you can only have a box on December 1st and that. And I said, well, what have I got? I've got the receipt, you know. Anyway, two different people told me it's their policy that you can't have a box until December 1st. And then I thought, like, am I crazy? And then I thought, I gotta get out before, you know, I. Something happens, my head explodes. So, yeah, I left, and then I contacted customer service, and I'm getting. I'm getting a gift card. Are you really?
Jeff Lewis
Like, how much, I wonder.
Michael Hitchcock
I don't know.
Jeff Lewis
You couldn't. But interesting, because you. And you didn't think to yourself, I'll just get a little bag and put it in the bag.
Michael Hitchcock
I could, but I just. It was more like. It was more like, it doesn't make any sense. Like, if you want a box and you're gonna come back, what do they care?
Jeff Lewis
No, it's bullshit. But it's funny what triggers us.
Michael Hitchcock
I know, I know. It's. It really was. It was like, this makes no sense. Clearly, you're on my side.
Jameson
I.
Michael Hitchcock
And I actually looked at a lady in the store that was there near to me, like, am I crazy? You know, and she wanted to just stay out of it.
Shane
It does make sense, though. What if they don't have the boxes yet? Like, it's no one shopping for holidays.
Jeff Lewis
No, it's the 17th. Of course they're shopping, and people are starting to shop.
Michael Hitchcock
My bigger thing is, like, whatever. You buy it. Now, two weeks later, you come back, hey, I bought this two weeks ago.
Jeff Lewis
Agreed. Give them a fucking box.
Michael Hitchcock
Yeah.
Jeff Lewis
How much was the jacket?
Michael Hitchcock
It was, like, $180.
Jeff Lewis
Get a box.
Michael Hitchcock
That's what I thought, so that's why I called customers.
Jeff Lewis
Now, I don't know if you've heard about this new staff policy at Target, which I'm very against. Have you heard about it?
Michael Hitchcock
No. What is it?
Jeff Lewis
It's part of a program where it's forcing employees to engage with customers more so they have to do. It's like a forced greeting process. I don't want. You know what you can. This is. Here's the thing. When I walk in a store, I'm fine with somebody. Be, like, smiling, hi. If you need help, let me know. But when they force you to. When they force their employees to interact, especially with people that are, like, socially awkward, I don't. I just don't want that. I don't know how you feel.
Michael Hitchcock
I don't like it if I'm in my pajamas.
Shane
I bet they're doing that because people steal from Target so much. And so, like, if there's someone, like, talking to you, asking how your day is, can I help you get something? You're less likely to steal if you feel like you're being watched.
Jeff Lewis
You think so?
Shane
1,000% at Sunglass Hut. That was the whole thing. They were like, you need to say your name. You need to have a conversation. You need to see what they're shopping for. Because if you don't look at them, you don't talk to them, they're just gonna pocket all the shit.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, Shane. Did you. Did you walk around and talk to people?
Michael Hitchcock
Of course.
Shane
How are you? How's your day? Who are you shopping for? Do you have any special occasions?
Jeff Lewis
What's annoying?
Michael Hitchcock
July.
Shane
Do you have Christmas plan? Of course. 100%.
Jeff Lewis
I hate that. I don't want that. I'll engage.
Shane
You have to.
Jeff Lewis
No, I feel like you'll know if I want to engage.
Shane
But if you don't want to engage, then you want to steal.
Michael Hitchcock
I just don't like the upselling in a restaurant where they, you know, you get something, and then they're trying to talk into everything else that I. That drives me crazy.
Jameson
But the forced happiness is something that I particularly love about Disney brand. That's why I like going to a Park. Because, like, everyone's being forced to be happy.
Michael Hitchcock
I have to talk to you.
Jameson
I know. It's not that I want to be talked to you, but I like that everyone's forced to be happy, and it just, like, lifts my mood.
Jeff Lewis
In a world where you're ignored, I would imagine you would like that. New greeting policy, right? Someone like Jameson. Oh, my God. You know, they're engaging invisible everywhere else. They're being forced. They're being paid to engage with you.
Jameson
I have a high approach rate. Jeff. Sorry. Don't be jelly of my approach rate.
Jeff has a low approach rate.
Jeff Lewis
According to my Disneyland guide, I have a very low.
Shane
Who's not gay?
Jeff Lewis
Who's not gay is a very low.
Jameson
Approach rate, which we can all understand. Right?
Michael Hitchcock
Well, I was afraid to be you. I remember that. I'm glad.
Jeff Lewis
Now, real quick, before we go, you did make it to the sphere. You saw wizard of Oz.
Michael Hitchcock
I did, yeah.
Jeff Lewis
What did you think? I loved the abbreviated version.
Michael Hitchcock
I did not love the abbreviated version. I understand probably why they had to do it. I think we talked about this the last time a little bit. I thought it was. I thought.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, I thought you were going. Last time you were here, he'd already been.
Shane
Yeah, he gone and came back the.
Michael Hitchcock
Same day because they added extra munchkins and extra people from Fine. You know, Oz and. And they looked weird.
Jeff Lewis
Let's promote the two hit shows. You were on fx, the Lowdown.
Michael Hitchcock
Nobody wants this.
Jeff Lewis
Can you Netflix?
Michael Hitchcock
Everyone loves nobody.
Jeff Lewis
I mean, you cannot find a streamer without Michael Hitchcock on.
Shane
I've been trying.
Michael Hitchcock
How are the Foster sisters when they run? Were they fun?
Jeff Lewis
Awesome. I love them.
Michael Hitchcock
Yeah, they're so cool. They're so fun. They're great.
Jeff Lewis
We're gonna be. We're gonna be neighbors with Aaron very soon.
Michael Hitchcock
You and me. Oh, nice.
Jeff Lewis
Do you know where she lives?
Michael Hitchcock
No.
Jeff Lewis
She hasn't even told you. She lives in our neighborhood.
Michael Hitchcock
I don't think I live in your neighborhood.
Jeff Lewis
Yes, you do. You live very close. I know exactly where you live. I could walk there. Michael, why are you pretending like you don't live there?
Michael Hitchcock
I don't know where you think I live, and I probably don't live there.
Jeff Lewis
If you. I swear to God, Shane and I are gonna show up today and ring the doorbell.
Michael Hitchcock
No, you're not.
Jeff Lewis
Cause you do not have a gate.
Thanks for. Thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Jeff Lewis Lad every weekday on SiriusXM as well as the Jeff Lewis Channel, exclusively on the SiriusXM app.
Commercial Voice
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Jeff Lewis
Why does St. Nick get all the credit when moms do all the work? Michelle Pfeiffer stars as Claire Closter in oh, what Fun, a heartwarming holiday comedy from acclaimed director Michael Showalter. When Claire's family accidentally leaves her at home after she's planned the perfect Christmas outing, she's had enough. So she embarks on an impromptu adventure that turns into the holiday freedom she never knew she needed. Stream oh, what Fun. Now on Prime Video and discover the joy of a Christmas gone delightfully off script.
Date: December 5, 2025
Host: Jeff Lewis, SiriusXM
Guests: Jane Lynch, Michael Hitchcock
In this lively and irreverent episode, Jeff Lewis is joined by Jane Lynch (host of The Weakest Link, actress from Glee) and Michael Hitchcock (actor/writer, long-time collaborator with Jane). The group delivers candid, laugh-filled conversation as they dig into everything from Jane's meat-based keto diet and game show hosting gigs, to messy childhoods, unlucky dating, celebrity dumbness, neighbor drama, and the true nature of crows. The episode moves seamlessly from inside-showbiz tales to personal quirks, all colored by Jeff’s signature no-filter style and the guests’ sharp wit.
Jane's New Home: Jane moved to Montecito in 2020 amid the pandemic, finally fulfilling a long-time wish to live there.
“It’s wonderful. Yeah, it’s Mayberry for rich people.” – Jane Lynch [02:10]
Hollywood Connections: Jane and Michael have had a long-running creative friendship since the late 90s, cemented by work on Christopher Guest films. Humorous recollections of their first brush, with Jane noting Michael's initially "snotty" group at a commercial shoot.
Jane's Accolades: Emmy, SAG, Golden Globe, and a star on Hollywood Walk of Fame.
“Michael, where is your star? Have you seen Michael’s?” – Jeff Lewis [03:58]
Michael jokes about buying a star on Amazon and speculates his real one would be on the "Van Nuys walk of fame."
Collaborative History: The two reminisce about their many film and TV projects together, including the Christopher Guest “canon” (Best in Show, Waiting for Guffman).
Glee Memories:
Keto Evangelism:
Jane reveals she lost 15 pounds rapidly on keto, prefers ribeye to bacon, and only eats one fatty steak per day—around 2 or 3 pm.
“I dropped 15 pounds, like, in five minutes.” – Jane Lynch [07:57]
Diet Debates:
Open discussion about fiber, bacon, processed foods, and Michael’s use of “the shots” (semaglutide for weight loss).
Michael's Crow Friends:
Michael proudly describes befriending two crows since COVID (one named Charlie). Jane and Jeff rib him for his lonely “crow dad” status, and advocate for organic birdseed.
“They tell their families if they like you. So you gotta be nice to crows.” – Michael Hitchcock [12:28]
Jane’s Multiple Houses:
Jane confesses to owning two homes, needing to sell one (Laurel Canyon), and her niece (with baby Jane) currently occupying it.
Hollywood Gossip:
Hosting Gigs:
Celebrity Weakest Link:
Housewives Edition:
Jane dishes on an “Ex-Wives Club” episode, where housewives ousted Kate Gosselin in spectacularly cold fashion.
“They were gonna, you know, put a knife in her back after the first round. They’re cutthroat.” – Jane Lynch [21:38]
She describes the only “sore loser” in the show’s history: “She had her shoes off…had to put her shoes back on to do the walk of shame. It was so painful.” – Jane Lynch [22:37]
On Celebrity Game Shows:
Jeff questions the tradition of celebrities only winning for charity (“That’s the show I want to do—where stars keep the money!”), and details typical appearance fees ($5–15k).
“You can never have a show where celebrities win money without donating to charity. That’s the show I want to do.” – Jeff Lewis [25:27]
Smartest/Dumbest Contestants:
Jane is surprised by “dumb blonde” Glee cast members outperforming expectations.
Old School Grit:
Both recall temping, working as Universal Studios tour guides, and doing phone reception work long before stardom.
“The very first thing I did—I was a Universal Studios tour guide during college.” – Michael Hitchcock [33:13]
Michael: “I worked at this thing called Celebrity Service…they would tell you where celebrities lived...” [33:22]
Jane: “Reception work. Temp work...in Chicago...I was good at the switchboards.”
Car Talk:
Light jokes about lesbian car stereotypes—Jane currently drives a Mercedes plug-in hybrid, but previously owned a Volkswagen Golf and Volvo, further cementing the “practical lesbian” narrative.
“Lesbians are so practical...and very predictable.” – Jane Lynch [36:06]
Gardening & Grilling:
Discussion veers into lesbian love of gardening and grilling steaks, even in the rain.
“I BBQ even in the rain—I will hold up my umbrella and cook my steak.” – Jane Lynch [36:54]
Conspiracy Corner:
Jane watches UFO and near-death experience videos, following the anomalous "Three-Eye Atlas" comet and quoting Harvard scientist Avi Loeb.
“If there are any gifts to be bestowed, I want to receive them.” – Jane Lynch [38:34]
Jeff: “I kind of go down the rabbit hole with tsunamis, car accidents, planes…” [39:02]
Wild Listener Story:
Caller Allison recounts feeding crows to ward off a predatory neighbor—and returning to find him dead after the crows “chose his destiny.”
“So I started feeding the crows peanuts...they chose his destiny, not me.” – Allison [40:34]
The group jokes about Hitchcock’s The Birds and crow revenge.
Lululemon Bag Drama:
Michael’s failed attempt to get a box pre-Dec 1st for a gift leads to a spiraling customer service saga.
“Two different people told me... you can only have a box on December 1st.” – Michael Hitchcock [43:05]
Target’s “Forced Greeting” Policy:
Jeff rails against Target’s requirement that staff greet every customer, Shane argues it’s anti-theft policy, and Jameson loves forced cheer a la Disney.
Jane on Montecito:
“It’s Mayberry for rich people.” [02:10]
Jane, on the Keto Diet:
“I dropped 15 pounds, like, in five minutes... I just get a big fatty ribeye and I’m done.” [07:57]
Michael on Weight Loss Shots:
“Ever since I saw myself on ‘Nobody Wants This’ ...my shirt rode up... and I thought, time to do the shots.” [09:59]
On “The Weakest Link” Housewife episode:
“It was the hardest walk of shame I’ve ever experienced. My heart broke for her—even though she’s not a very pleasant person.” – Jane Lynch [22:37]
Crow Conspiracy:
“I bet they like your hair color.” – Jeff Lewis, referring to Michael’s befriended crows [12:38]
Listener “The Crows Got Him” Story:
“So I started feeding the crows peanuts and telling them, hey, I wish the best for this man—somewhere else. They chose his destiny, not me.” – Allison [40:34]
This episode of "Jeff Lewis Has Issues" perfectly demonstrates why the show is a must-listen for fans of candid celebrity banter, pop culture deep-dives, and the hilarious unraveling of life’s big and small problems. Jane Lynch and Michael Hitchcock serve up a heady mix of self-deprecating humor, sharp insights into Hollywood and modern life, and infectious frankness alongside Jeff Lewis’s signature bite.
Recommended for anyone who likes their celebrity interviews with unvarnished reality and a side of steak and crows.