Krys Marshall & Nicky Paris: Malfunctions & Invitations

Summary

Podcast Summary: Jeff Lewis Has Issues

Episode: Krys Marshall & Nicky Paris: Malfunctions & Invitations

Date: September 26, 2025
Host: Jeff Lewis
Guests: Krys Marshall, Nikki Paris, with regulars Shane, Jameson, Annie, and others

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Overview

This episode of "Jeff Lewis Has Issues" is a classic blend of irreverent humor, inside-office drama, and brutally honest banter. Jeff welcomes actor Krys Marshall and comedian Nikki Paris, where they dive into a whirlwind conversation about workplace stress, photo shoot controversies, forgotten anniversaries, housekeeper hiring politics, and iconic Hollywood wardrobe malfunctions. The episode is a goldmine for fans who love Jeff Lewis’s signature mix of vulnerability, sarcasm, and no-filter commentary.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Chumps, Listeners, and Gender Dynamics

• Chumps (Jeff’s fans) are discussed regarding their fierce loyalty and selectivity, especially with new female contributors.
  • Nikki: “I had never heard of a chump before until I was on the show...they are just so riveting, funny.” (02:35)
  • Jeff: “They love men, but the women, they don’t embrace as easily. They’re very protective.” (03:02)
  • Krys: “I think it’s because the men on this show, a lot of them are LGBTQ, and we sound like girls, so it’s a lot more digestible.” (03:27)

2. Workplace Anxiety & Stress

• Jameson discusses his ongoing jaw pain, linking it humorously to his six years working with Jeff.
  • Nikki: “Did the jaw tension begin before or after you started working for Jeff Lewis?” (04:55)
  • Jeff (joking): “Why is this my fault? If he has communication problems... what does that have to do with me?” (05:11)

3. The “Fat Photo” Fan Rebellion & Self-Image

• Jeff shares a scathing fan letter demanding SiriusXM update his show’s promotional photo (“the fat, drunk, red faced, bloated corpse version”).
  • Jeff: “This man basically waterboarded himself with lemon water for three months straight so you could have a decent promo pic.” (06:44)
  • Nikki: “It’s brilliant... They have your back, honey. They have your back.” (08:09)
  • Jeff voices insecurity about his new photos being “too buttoned up... not sexy.” (09:04)

4. The Chump Mixer & Party Etiquette

• Upcoming chump mixer logistics, playful shade about party games (trust falls, Twister), and RSVPs.
  • Jeff: “Nikki was doing trust falls and...asking everyone to play Twister. You cannot do that tonight.” (09:55)
  • Nikki: “That’s how you quickly get a group to go from small talk to...sex talk, daddy issues, infertility, all of it.” (10:06)
• Exclusive invites debated; Nikki clarifies terms like “chump hosts” vs. “chump hoes.” (11:05)

5. Job Hopping, Missed Shifts, & Anniversaries

• Discussion of Lakendra’s creative work attendance (or lack thereof) and parallel stories of short job tenures.
  • Nikki: “I never had a job for more than three or four weeks. I kept getting fired. Same thing.” (13:24)
• Nikki forgets her anniversary, hilariously realizing it mid-conversation.
  • Nikki: “Today’s my anniversary. Just remembered that... eight years today!” (13:44)

6. Forbidden Invitations & “Hotness” Criteria

• Segmented debate over “plus-ones” at the chump mixer; Jeff admits the cut-throat entry strategy: only “hot” people can attend if not part of the inner circle.
  • Jeff: “You can't go if you’re not a chump—unless you're hot.” (15:41)
• Later, after much banter and guilt-tripping, Nikki, Krys, and others advocate successfully to let Lakendra's friend attend. (45:14)

7. Hiring a Housekeeper: Fit, Discretion, and Makeover Pitches

• Jeff details interviewing new housekeepers, defending controversial hiring criteria (physical fitness for job requirements).
  • Jeff: “I am worried about... This is a physical job. You walk the dog, you get up on ladders... I did love her. But then Ruthie came in yesterday.” (17:50)
  • Nikki: “That have to do with her ability to clean house, honey, come on.” (17:33)
• Monroe (Jeff’s daughter, age 8) takes part in the interview and critiques lipstick and hair choices.
• Idea pitched: a ‘housekeeper makeover show’—renamed multiple times (“Dust to Diva,” “America's Next Top Housekeeper”).
  • Shane: “It’s like Queer Eye but mean.” (22:19)

8. Projects and Social Media Pet Peeves

• Jeff's social media trigger: “So many exciting things happening...”
  • Jeff: “Everyone I know who says that has nothing going on and it never fucking happens.” (35:36)
• Nikki’s pet peeve: “hospital selfie with wristband and vague caption.” (36:00)
• Turns out Jeff was calling out Nikki for a similar vague post, leading to jokes about Broadway scripts and career news.

9. Gladys: Nikki’s 88-Year-Old Best Friend

• Endearing stories about Nikki’s elderly friend Gladys, who attends comedy shows, offers “be less gay” advice, and once peed on a dining chair from extreme laughter.
  • Nikki: “My parents waited my whole life for me to bring a girl home for Christmas. Little did they know it’d be an 88-year-old woman who peed my mom’s dining room chair.” (37:58)

10. Red Carpet Malfunctions

• Krys Marshall recounts her dress-zipping disaster at the Emmys, ultimately being sewn into her gown by the Ritz seamstress.
  • Krys: “My dress zipper broke as I was putting it on, so I’m a 0.2. Is that—am I too chunky to be in the studio?” (41:02)
  • “I was sewn in... very carefully [when asked about peeing].” (42:42)

11. Office “Rot” and Relationship Dynamics

• The team teases each other and jokes about “the sweetest people rotting from the inside” by working with Jeff.
  • Jameson: “Every egg goes bad. Everyone starts great and sweet and happy and nice, and then they just rot from the inside.” (50:26)
  • Jeff: “Annie would never started off sweet.” (51:03)

12. Chump Mixer: Office Politics & Final Invite Decisions

• Drama over Oscar being left off the invite list, blame shifting among the team. Shane, as “chief of staff,” takes heat for delivering unwelcome messages at Jeff’s behest.
• Closing moments poke fun at hookups at “chump mixers” (discouraged, but Joey’s name is flagged as a wild card), and party politics remain front and center.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Jim Do Nothing Thompson, or whoever the hell is asleep at the wheel at SiriusXM... you’re blasting out the fat, drunk, red-faced, bloated corpse version of him on the app.” (Fan email, read by Jeff, 06:44)
• “I was sewn in [my dress].” (Krys, 42:42)
• “Today’s my anniversary. Just remembered that...eight years today!” (Nikki, 13:44)
• “It’s like Queer Eye but mean.” (Shane, 22:19)
• “Every egg goes bad. Everyone starts great and sweet and happy and nice, and then they just rot from the inside.” (Jameson, 50:26)
• “My parents been waiting my whole life for me to bring a girl home for Christmas. Little did they know. I brought home an 88-year-old woman and I made her laugh so bad she peed my mom’s dining room chair.” (Nikki, 37:58)
• “You can't go if you're not a chump—unless you're hot.” (Jeff, 15:41)
• “You got someone to cover your shift. You called in sick or whatever.” (Jeff on job-hopping, 13:39)

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Important Segment Timestamps

00:00-01:50 – Opening banter (skip ad content)
03:02-05:00 – Chump gender dynamics and audience relations
06:44-08:10 – Fan letter about Jeff’s promotional photo
09:28-11:06 – Chump mixer planning and etiquette
13:44-14:10 – Nikki realizes she forgot her wedding anniversary
15:41-16:28 – Hotness debate for plus-ones at mixer
17:50-20:12 – Housekeeper hiring and fatphobia controversy
22:01-23:54 – “Housekeeper makeover” reality show brainstorm
35:36-36:00 – Social media pet peeves
41:02-42:43 – Krys’ Emmy dress malfunction and rescue
50:26-51:03 – The “rot” of working with Jeff, sweet people turning “bad”

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Tone & Language

The episode maintains a playful, teasing, and sharply honest tone, peppered with self-deprecating humor and candid storytelling. There’s a strong sense of camaraderie, but also lots of good-natured ribbing and sharp asides.

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For Listeners Who Missed It

This episode is a quintessential Jeff Lewis rollercoaster—a mix of relatable social anxiety, office drama, genuine moments (a forgotten anniversary; a dress emergency), and offbeat comedic riffs. If you love inside baseball about Hollywood events, unfiltered staff interactions, and the kind of banter where everyone (especially Jeff) is fair game, this episode delivers.

For more, tune in live weekdays on SiriusXM or check the channel for more of Jeff’s issues—always guaranteed to be entertaining, occasionally inspiring, and never dull!

Transcript

[Jeff Lewis]

Morning, Zoe. Got donuts.

[Nikki Paris]

Jeff Bridges, why are you still living above our garage?

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, I dig the mattress and I want to be in a T mobile commercial like you teach me. So Dana.

[Nikki Paris]

Oh no, I'm not really prepared. I couldn't possibly at t mobile get the new iPhone 17 Pro on them. It's designed to be the most powerful iPhone yet and has the ultimate pro camera system.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wow, impressive. Let me try. T mobile is the best place to get iPhone 17 Pro because they've got the best network.

[Nikki Paris]

Nice. Je free.

[Jeff Lewis]

You heard them. T mobile is the best place to get the new iPhone 17 Pro on us with eligible traded in any condition. So what are we having for lunch?

[Nikki Paris]

Dude, my work here is done.

[Jeff Lewis]

The 24 month bill credit experience beyond for well qualified customers plus tax and 35 device connection charge credit send and balance due. If you pay off earlier, Cancel Finance Agreement. IPhone 17 Pro 256 gigs 1099.99 A new line minimum 100 plus a month plan with auto pay plus taxes and fees required. Best mobile network in the US based on analysis by Oklahoma Speed Test Intelligence Data 182025 Visit T mobile.com this episode of Jeff Lewis has Issues is brought to you by booking.com booking. Yeah. From vacation rentals to hotels across the U.S. booking.com has the ideal stay for anyone, even those who might seem impossible to please. For some, comfort isn't just a luxury, it's a priority. Many travelers are looking for thoughtful touches, a quiet, well appointed room, quality bedding, a clean and modern bathroom, and maybe even a little space to unwind like a private balcony or a soaking tub. Details like strong wi fi, easy parking or a convenient location near local dining can make all the difference, especially when traveling for business or with family. On booking.com, book for yourself, your partner, your sleep light rise early mom, or your high maintenance group chat. Find exactly what you're booking for booking.com booking. Yeah. Book today on the site or in the app.

[Nikki Paris]

When you're Jeff Lewis, the drama never stops dog said it was.

[Jeff Lewis]

Dumb, but maybe I'm dumb because I enjoy it. Maybe I'm just talking about the news. We don't talk about the news here.

[Nikki Paris]

No, just sex.

[Jeff Lewis]

There's gotta be that one actor or actress that nobody likes. Cause we have that here.

[Nikki Paris]

Oh my God.

[Kris Marshall]

Who is it?

[Jeff Lewis]

Me.

[Nikki Paris]

Jeff Lewis has issues.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hey, it's Jeff Lewis and I have issues. In today's episode, Kris Marshall and Nikki Paris joined the show. We we talk about forgotten anniversaries, wardrobe malfunctions, and forced invitations. Welcome back, Kris Marshall. Yay. How many times did you text her people to get her back?

[Shane]

Oh, she. I'm sorry. She's working on Paradise. She has the Emmy. She has da da da. It was just on and on and on.

[Nikki Paris]

But let me tell you something. I am so happy to be back. You have the most wonderful fan base. I had never heard of a chump before until I was on the show. And they are just delightful. Honestly, I think I grew, like, a thousand followers on Instagram. They are just so riveting, funny.

[Jeff Lewis]

They're not so nice to everybody. You got.

[Nikki Paris]

They were gorgeous to me.

[Kris Marshall]

What's not to love?

[Shane]

I'm happy to hear that.

[Nikki Paris]

I'm Disneyan.

[Jeff Lewis]

Women, especially, have trouble here their first time.

[Nikki Paris]

What do you mean?

[Jeff Lewis]

No, I'm saying that they love men, but the women, they don't embrace as easily. They're very protective.

[Nikki Paris]

Are you saying chumps are not girls? Girls. What are you saying about women?

[Jeff Lewis]

No, no, no, no. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying they're protective. They don't.

[Nikki Paris]

Jeff, why do you hate women?

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, God. I know. They immediately understand. They're not just gonna immediately trust you.

[Nikki Paris]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

It just takes a few times.

[Nikki Paris]

They have discretion.

[Kris Marshall]

I think it's because the men on the show, some of them, a lot of them are lgbtq, and we sound like girls, so it's a lot more digestible.

[Jeff Lewis]

Who sounds like a girl?

[Kris Marshall]

Me.

[Jeff Lewis]

Who sounds.

[Jameson]

Guys, come on.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now. Chris, about a week ago, Jameson was rushed to the dentist because what happened?

[Jameson]

You've been in a lot of pain, and I have terrible teeth, so it's just like, always something.

[Nikki Paris]

They're beautiful from here.

[Jameson]

Thank you. I appreciate it.

[Kris Marshall]

Yeah, you look good.

[Jameson]

So I just assumed it was like, a root canal or something again. And the doctor was like, it's nothing. It's probably just trauma from clenching, which I have experience in the past. I wear night guards and whatnot.

[Nikki Paris]

Okay.

[Jameson]

I got a lot of tips. A lot of the chumps said, don't try anything else. Just do Botox.

[Jeff Lewis]

But the point is, is that I watched you clench that jaw just now because he handed you releases. He gave you two pens. You both returned the release, but you did not return the pens. And I looked at him, and I saw him clenching his jaw. How hard was it to.

[Jameson]

I wasn't gonna ask, but you were thinking it. I was. I was thinking, I'll grab them at the break.

[Kris Marshall]

Now, do you get mad if people chew on the pen?

[Jameson]

I mean, if you need the I always say, if you don't need the pen, I'll take it back. If you need the pen.

[Shane]

It's not what you say.

[Jameson]

I always say it.

[Shane]

You say, hand me back my pen.

[Jameson]

I always say, if you don't need the pen, I'll take it back. Cause otherwise people just like throw them away or whatever and I need them here.

[Nikki Paris]

But I just need to know, did the jaw tension begin before or after you started working for Jeff Lewis?

[Jameson]

Well, I've been working with Jeff Lewis for about six years and I'd say it's just been a slow ramp up.

[Nikki Paris]

Oh, Jeff, this is your fault.

[Jameson]

I know. Can I send Jeff the botox pill?

[Nikki Paris]

Yes. Okay, I believe.

[Jeff Lewis]

Why is this my fault? If he has communication problems, clearly and he has to clench his jaw, that has nothing. I mean, what does that have to do with me.

[Nikki Paris]

Anyway?

[Jeff Lewis]

So, Kris Marshall, I apologized for the terrible picture of me right here in the studio and we have desperately been trying to replace it. Now yesterday I did rile up some chumps. I did not do it on purpose. I never said email. Serious. I never said email my boss nothing. But sometimes chumps again. Protective, passionate. They. Inappropriate, inappropriate. Unprofessional. They decided to email my boss. No, he had sent me first thing this morning when I Woke up at 5:30. This was in my inbox from my boss. Dear Jim Do Nothing Thompson, or whoever the hell is asleep at the wheel at Sirius xm. Congrats on running Sirius XM like it's a dial up AOL chat room. In 1999 you've got one of the few hosts who actually starved, dehydrated and maybe sold his soul just to take new headshots. And six months later you're still blasting out the fat, drunk, red faced, bloated corpse version of him on the app. Honestly, what's the plan here? Are you to try? Are you trying to tank your own ratings? Because when people open the app and see that old picture, they think. They don't think, oh, Jeff Lewis. They think, oh shit, Jeff Lewis ate Jeff Lewis. Meanwhile, the new photos where his cheekbones finally came out of witness protection are just sitting somewhere on a hard drive while Jeff lives off of kale dust and resentment. This man basically waterboarded himself with lemon water for three months straight so you could have a decent promo pic. And you and your so called team too incompetent to swap out a jpeg. Wow. If you had even half a brain cell in corporate, you'd post the new photos immediately slap a banner across the app and say, and that says, jeff's jawline is back, bitches. And maybe, just maybe, you won't scare the listeners or make Jeff hate himself even more by having that picture up. Better do it before people start switching to Spotify. So here's your big moment, Jimbo. Stop running Sirius XM like a senior citizen center and give Jeff the glow up he literally starved for. And if you're waiting until Jeff's relapse to update the photo, at least have the decency to record this shit and bring back the video.

[Kris Marshall]

Wow.

[Nikki Paris]

Round of applause.

[Jeff Lewis]

Right?

[Kris Marshall]

Scathing.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wow.

[Kris Marshall]

I didn't know Laura Ingalls Wilder was a fan of yours. I mean, what a descriptive insult. I'd love to see her on Yelp.

[Jeff Lewis]

Whoever wrote that, he said to me. So in the thing, he goes, I would be. I'd be angry if this wasn't brilliant.

[Nikki Paris]

It's brilliant.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know.

[Nikki Paris]

It's so good. They have your back, honey. They have your back. Oh, that's good.

[Jeff Lewis]

And I did starve myself.

[Shane]

The pictures are gorgeous.

[Kris Marshall]

I like that picture.

[Nikki Paris]

I was gonna say this one. You look at picture, you look youthful.

[Shane]

If this was bloated because I was wiser than.

[Jeff Lewis]

Count the chins. Count the chins.

[Nikki Paris]

No, I see one.

[Kris Marshall]

I see one.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're lying.

[Kris Marshall]

No. 1.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, I see two and a half. Look at the bloat. Look at the alcohol bloat underneath the jaw.

[Kris Marshall]

I thought that was a five o' clock shadow.

[Annie]

No, you can't convince someone to like a bad picture of them.

[Nikki Paris]

I hear you. I hear you. You see something of a little dysmorphia. That's okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

The other thing.

[Nikki Paris]

But you're beautiful.

[Jeff Lewis]

Thank you, Kris. Marshall. The only thing that means a lot coming from you, the only thing is that I've been rethinking those outfits I wore in the new photo shoot.

[Shane]

See, this is what happens when it takes this long. Now, he already wants new. New ones.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think I look like a church pastor.

[Kris Marshall]

There's a market for that.

[Nikki Paris]

People love church.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think it's too buttoned up. It's too conservative. It's not sexy.

[Kris Marshall]

Are you showing any chest?

[Jeff Lewis]

No, it's like. It's like the buttons are up to my chin. No. I don't know. I don't think they're sexy.

[Kris Marshall]

Who.

[Shane]

If you ask for a reshoot, it's gonna be another year.

[Nikki Paris]

Mm, true. Mm.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't know. Well, anyway, let's talk about something fun. Tonight we have our chump mixer.

[Nikki Paris]

Ooh.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, Nikki, I am begging you. Nikki went to the last one.

[Nikki Paris]

How did it go?

[Jeff Lewis]

This is a very, very nice place. And we worked with the managers, and they gave us a little section of the lounge, and they provided, you know, separate servers for us. Here's the problem. It is. It's classy.

[Nikki Paris]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Nikki was doing trust falls and.

[Nikki Paris]

Oh, drama school. Come on. Drama school.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, Trust falls. And he was asking everyone to play Twister. You cannot do that tonight.

[Nikki Paris]

That is an icebreaker. No, Nikki, I have your back. That's an icebreaker.

[Kris Marshall]

Isn't that an ice.

[Nikki Paris]

Come on. That's how you quickly get a group to go from up here. Small talk to getting it. Daddy issues, sex talk.

[Kris Marshall]

Right.

[Nikki Paris]

Broken back, infertility, all of it. That's how you get there with the trust fall. You don't know how to throw a good time. Come on.

[Jeff Lewis]

Jamie Kennedy is still complaining about his back. I know.

[Kris Marshall]

You know, I see him on his scooter everywhere. I almost made an illegal left turn and hit him. I see him all the time. He's like Mary Poppins just floating by the streets. But, yes, he fell and hurt his back.

[Jeff Lewis]

But you live in Topanga, so it's a little far for you because it's over. But you are more than welcome to come.

[Kris Marshall]

Please come.

[Nikki Paris]

So where is it?

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, I can't tell you the exact place.

[Nikki Paris]

Oh, so. So tell me how it's here.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's near someone.

[Nikki Paris]

They have to, like tickets or. How does it work to just say no?

[Jeff Lewis]

It's like a party. Like you're invited, you show up.

[Nikki Paris]

I thought that it was, like, the audience, that you invited the audience or something.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, no, just the chumps.

[Nikki Paris]

I thought the chumps were.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes, I know, it's confusing. Chump hosts.

[Nikki Paris]

Chump hosts. I thought you meant.

[Jeff Lewis]

Sorry, fan. Sorry.

[Shane]

So we have about using that the same word means.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know.

[Nikki Paris]

Got it.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know. Well, we're all chumps. But, yes, there's chump hosts and then.

[Shane]

There'S chumps and there's chump hoes.

[Jeff Lewis]

A lot of chump hoes.

[Nikki Paris]

Oh, is that like a twink?

[Jeff Lewis]

Which are also chump hosts.

[Nikki Paris]

Little chump groupie.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's also confusing. We have. I believe we have 25 RSVPs. We'll probably end up with 30, don't you think?

[Nikki Paris]

Yeah. People. Well, I mean, it is raining today, so that could get you down to seven real quick.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're right. That's fine with me. You know, because that was a big barbell last time.

[Kris Marshall]

It was a lot of people.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know. It was fun.

[Nikki Paris]

And y' all can drink.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, I know.

[Shane]

How do you know about that?

[Jeff Lewis]

She's looking at my photos now. Lakendra reached out. Yes.

[Kris Marshall]

Lakendra reached out to me last night about coming to Becky and I show in Hermosa Beach. And I thought maybe it was because she loved comedy and wanted to see art, but she said she was just looking to Dick Hunt in Hermosa beach, which I love. I respect her.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's actually a good place to dick hunt.

[Kris Marshall]

Yeah, it is that in Manhattan for sure. If you like. You know, men that have toenails look like candy corn. I mean, Hermosa beach is the ideal spot for that.

[Shane]

It's Halloween.

[Kris Marshall]

It's blue cheese crumble toes to me. But, you know, do you. So she was like, do you think you can get me into the show? One of the chumps said that there's a lot of hot men in Hermosa beach, and it's not about the comedy. It's. I really want to look for men. I said, well, thanks for supporting us. I wish I could have got her in.

[Shane]

Wait, she was supposed to have work last night. Last night was Wednesday.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, she went after work. I bet she better have not missed another shift. She just finally got a job.

[Kris Marshall]

Teacher. Okay, a yoga teacher. Right?

[Shane]

That's a stretch.

[Kris Marshall]

Chris.

[Shane]

It's at the towel.

[Annie]

She texted me at 6pm inviting me to go with her. What time's her shift?

[Jeff Lewis]

8 to 8. 45. She. Chris, 8 to 8 45. She works at a yoga studio. A yoga studio two days a week. Okay, So, I mean, it's the start.

[Nikki Paris]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

So. But she is going tonight because she got someone to cover shift.

[Nikki Paris]

Good for her.

[Shane]

They had to fire her. I bet they fired her and she was like, it. I'll go to the comedy show.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, you think she's pretending she has a job?

[Nikki Paris]

It's like. It's like. What was that?

[Shane]

Where the girl on the train and she would lie about going to work each day.

[Jeff Lewis]

Lakendra.

[Shane]

That's what she's doing.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes. What if she. You're right. What if she did got fired? Cause she started, Chris. And then she took the next week off. Cause she went to a destination wedding. Okay, so she only worked one week, then took a week off. Then this is her third week. But then she got someone to cover her shift tonight.

[Kris Marshall]

Perfect.

[Nikki Paris]

Yeah. You know what? I can't ding her for that because I did the exact same thing a million times with waitressing jobs. I never had a job for more than three or four weeks. I kept getting fired and, you know, same Thing.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, same thing.

[Nikki Paris]

I was a bigger, better dealer. I've always been like that.

[Jeff Lewis]

Something better came along, and then you got somebody to cover your shift. You called in sick or whatever.

[Nikki Paris]

Yeah.

[Kris Marshall]

Are you like that with men?

[Nikki Paris]

I mean, I've been married for a number. Oh, my God. Today's my anniversary. Just remember that 18th I just heard.

[Jeff Lewis]

Holy shit.

[Kris Marshall]

Thank you, Nikki.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, my God. Really? Seriously?

[Nikki Paris]

It's been eight years. Eight years. Today I just remembered that. Thank God I did not get a gift. I didn't do a single thing.

[Kris Marshall]

You're welcome.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, you've got time now. You've got time now. He's not listening, right? No, he's working.

[Nikki Paris]

No, he doesn't care about this.

[Jeff Lewis]

I have to say, I finally saw pictures of your baby. Oh, he is the most beautiful, handsome little boy.

[Nikki Paris]

Thank you.

[Jeff Lewis]

He's so cute.

[Shane]

I don't think I've seen him.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, you look at the pictures of him?

[Nikki Paris]

Yeah. There's a couple pics of him.

[Kris Marshall]

Do you remember the birthday? Do you know when the kid's birthday is?

[Nikki Paris]

Yes, I do remember my baby's birthday. Yes. Because that was the day I gave birth to a baby.

[Kris Marshall]

The husband. Who cares about the anniversary?

[Nikki Paris]

Yes, the husband.

[Jeff Lewis]

So Lakendra reaches out, which I always think is a little bit rude, where he's like, can I know, right? You're looking at pictures.

[Nikki Paris]

So sweet.

[Jeff Lewis]

He's adorable.

[Nikki Paris]

Thanks, guys.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, you're looking, too.

[Kris Marshall]

Now I want to see.

[Nikki Paris]

Okay, okay, everybody stop and go. Look at my kids.

[Kris Marshall]

Okay, first of all, that could be a Gerber baby.

[Jeff Lewis]

That could be a Gerber baby right there.

[Kris Marshall]

You know what?

[Nikki Paris]

Mine asked me if I wanted to put him to work. And the answer is absolutely not. Do you see how fucked up I am? Do you think I want my child to be as messed up as me? Like. No, no, no, no.

[Jeff Lewis]

Good point.

[Nikki Paris]

Don't let him be.

[Jeff Lewis]

All right, good point.

[Nikki Paris]

No, no, no, no, no. Anyway, Lakendra reached out. She wants to go to the.

[Jeff Lewis]

Which I think is rude.

[Nikki Paris]

She's like, you think it's rude to.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, no, she RSVPed. But then she goes, do you mind if I bring my friend with me tonight? He's not a chump, but he's gay. And normally I would say no, but then I said, kian, ask her for a picture.

[Nikki Paris]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jeff Lewis]

And what happened, Kian, what did you think?

[Nikki Paris]

Let's see the pick.

[Shane]

It's not what I thought. I'm looking it up. One sec.

[Nikki Paris]

Because if he's handsome, then he's upset.

[Jeff Lewis]

Here's the thing. You can't go if you're not a chump. You can't go unless you're hot.

[Nikki Paris]

But what if he's hilarious and adds to the room?

[Shane]

There's enough comedy.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, we have so many hilarious people there. We need more hotness. Don't you think, Nikki?

[Kris Marshall]

I thought we had that covered. Good to know. Rude.

[Jeff Lewis]

So she gave me her whole.

[Shane]

She gave me her whole spiel, and the only thing I said is, send a photo. She said, you sound like a bouncer. And then she sent the photo, we.

[Jeff Lewis]

Showed it to the office, and she.

[Shane]

Did another whole spiel.

[Kris Marshall]

No worries if you can't go, like, whatever.

[Shane]

And I said, jeff said no.

[Nikki Paris]

Jeff.

[Jeff Lewis]

We all said no. We all said no. Why did you say Jeff said no? Because you did, Annie. You said the same thing.

[Annie]

You're the boss.

[Jeff Lewis]

Everyone at once said no. And maybe it's just a bad picture.

[Shane]

The fat phobic allegations.

[Jeff Lewis]

Jeff, stop with that.

[Shane]

You're not gonna be.

[Jeff Lewis]

I got so much fat. Hate this.

[Nikki Paris]

Wait, what's that?

[Jeff Lewis]

What's.

[Shane]

No one else saw the picture.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wait, what did you say?

[Kris Marshall]

I said you didn't have to bring the weight up.

[Annie]

No one saw the picture.

[Jeff Lewis]

So. Okay, that.

[Nikki Paris]

Wait, what's the fatphobic thing?

[Jeff Lewis]

Can we just talk about that later?

[Nikki Paris]

I mean, no.

[Jameson]

No crowd is saying Jeff is hiring a new house.

[Jeff Lewis]

We're not gonna talk about that right now. We'll do it later.

[Jameson]

But the one he loves the most is a more zoftig woman, and he's. He doesn't know if it's the right fit, Literally.

[Jeff Lewis]

Chris, let me explain myself.

[Nikki Paris]

I'll see myself out.

[Jeff Lewis]

Chris. No, no, no. Let me explain myself. This is not okay. And I'm getting a lot of hate. Like, I'm a chubby chomp, and this and that.

[Jameson]

Kill the beast.

[Jeff Lewis]

And I'm. This is. This isn't just, like, 10 pounds overweight. This isn't just like. You know what I'm saying? It. This is. I feel really bad saying, why does.

[Nikki Paris]

That have to do with her ability to clean house? Honey, come on.

[Jameson]

Jeff's offense. They talk about weight all day, every day, and they're concerned that them talking about their own weight is going to have an effect.

[Jeff Lewis]

Chris, that's all we talk about.

[Nikki Paris]

I see.

[Jeff Lewis]

We talk about everything we eat every calorie, every weight watcher's point.

[Shane]

Like, we can't, like, half sandwich.

[Jeff Lewis]

And I'm also. I am worried about. This is a physical job. You walk the dog, you get up on ladders. I'm not talking like 40 pounds overweight, okay? I'm talking like this. I'm talking obese chile. But I did love her. I did love her. And I really considered, very much considered. But then Ruthie came in yesterday.

[Nikki Paris]

And who is this Ruthie? Some double zero. She's the bull.

[Kris Marshall]

Listen, I don't think anybody named Ruthie is a double.

[Jeff Lewis]

Ruthie came in and I just loved Ruthie.

[Shane]

It was a fit.

[Jeff Lewis]

It was a fit. Okay, let's talk discuss her outfit. First of all.

[Shane]

Oh, I was so impressed. No one's ever come in to interview for a housekeeping job here. But she had heels, she had hoops, she had a bill girl.

[Kris Marshall]

You gotta trust them.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, it was housekeeper chic.

[Kris Marshall]

Yeah, I've had my car stolen by my cleaning lady. So you have to have people that you could trust. No, they stole your job. They stole. Well, when I first moved to la, I lived in a studio. It felt like weird watching them clean my studio apart.

[Nikki Paris]

Wait, you hired somebody to clean a studio? Come on, babe.

[Shane]

It's 300 square feet.

[Nikki Paris]

That's three Swiffers up and down.

[Kris Marshall]

These hands are used for writing magic, you know what I mean? But so I left and they stole the spare key to my car. And it took me weeks to figure it out. And they found my car like weeks later with a gun in it downtown. And I called the cops and they were like, we found a firearm in your car. And I was like, does that mean a gun?

[Jeff Lewis]

It wasn't Ruthie.

[Kris Marshall]

It wasn't. You could trust her.

[Shane]

So you would go sit at Starbucks for two hours while you paid someone to go swiffer your throat. 300 square foot apartment.

[Kris Marshall]

Yep.

[Nikki Paris]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

Ruthie has five children. They are all launched. The last one, who's 19, she just sent to college. She has all the time in the world. She's flexible. So she has housekeeping experience. She has nanny experience.

[Nikki Paris]

Wonderful.

[Jeff Lewis]

She presents well. I loved her. Did you love her?

[Shane]

Me too. Yes.

[Nikki Paris]

That is the chicest, great bit of.

[Shane]

Chic and the experience I wanted my daughter.

[Jeff Lewis]

My daughter eventually is going to be running my business. And I said to her, you know, one day, because I wanted to be involved in the interview process. And I said, one day you are going to be working for daddy. And she said, actually, daddy, you're going to be working for me.

[Nikki Paris]

Queen. Queen.

[Shane]

She's a bitch.

[Jeff Lewis]

And so she actually spent some time. She wrote questions.

[Nikki Paris]

Go, girl.

[Jeff Lewis]

She sat next to me on the sofa.

[Nikki Paris]

She's like, wait, how old is Monroe?

[Jeff Lewis]

8. She goes, do you Cook, where do you live? Do you know how to use a vacuum? Like, she has some really good questions.

[Nikki Paris]

Hard hitting.

[Jeff Lewis]

So we had a great interview, but I want to play a little bit hard to get. I mean, I was ready to offer the job right then and there.

[Nikki Paris]

You should do. Cause if someone's that great and most importantly, has discretion. Did you talk about, like, her being discreet? Yes, yes. That sort of thing.

[Jeff Lewis]

Non disclosure.

[Nikki Paris]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes, Talked about it.

[Nikki Paris]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Shane]

I said, don't get on your podcast.

[Nikki Paris]

And talk about us or pictures of my stuff.

[Shane]

Yeah, These things are not a two way street.

[Jeff Lewis]

But I just figured when she. I said, I just have a few more interviews, which I don't play. And then we're going to wait till today because we just saw her yesterday.

[Nikki Paris]

Yeah, that's right.

[Jeff Lewis]

And we're going to make the offer today. And then we were. We are a little too excited about it. Cause I was like. First you were like, get her to train on Friday. But I think we should work next Friday. But I think we should get. Well, let's give her Saturday or Monday to train.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. Okay. So she left. And then I had to talk to Monroe and I said, monroe, what did you think of Ruthie?

[Nikki Paris]

I love your parenting already. It's so sweet.

[Jeff Lewis]

I did not like her lipstick. And her hair did not go with that outfit. And I said, okay, well, we can get her. We can get her the wise beauty. Oh, lilac gloss, the lip tints.

[Nikki Paris]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Her godfather's Chaz Dean. We can fix that hair in no time.

[Kris Marshall]

Get her a blow dryer. Yep, whatever she needs.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, a chastity blow dryer.

[Shane]

Oh, all the difference.

[Jeff Lewis]

You know what? Her hair's curly.

[Shane]

It would burn.

[Jeff Lewis]

It would look so good.

[Nikki Paris]

Great.

[Shane]

Some cleanser and a chazine will bring her back to life.

[Jeff Lewis]

Which made me think of a genius idea. Thank you, Monroe. Lewis.

[Nikki Paris]

What's up?

[Jeff Lewis]

A housekeeper makeover show. I want to pitch it where rich people, they do makeovers for their housekeepers.

[Nikki Paris]

This is ridiculous.

[Shane]

I love it.

[Nikki Paris]

This is bordering on Hunger Games.

[Shane]

It's called for the help.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's like Queer Eye but mean.

[Shane]

Yes, it's perfect.

[Nikki Paris]

Exactly.

[Shane]

I think Bravo would eat this up.

[Jeff Lewis]

I do too. Or Telemundo. Anybody ever think about that? So we do have, I mean, a couple of names. Mikasa to makeover.

[Kris Marshall]

Muy bien.

[Jeff Lewis]

We have Dust to Diva.

[Nikki Paris]

Oh. Ooh, that's really cute. That's really cute.

[Jeff Lewis]

This is my favorite. America's Next Top Housekeeper.

[Shane]

So good.

[Jeff Lewis]

How good is that?

[Kris Marshall]

All of them.

[Nikki Paris]

This is too Much. This is too much. I think it would work.

[Shane]

They had celebrity IOU where they did the houses for their things. Now, this is just like, helping them look their best.

[Nikki Paris]

I like that. But not so that you can then work for them. Just so that you can do something nice for someone who doesn't have the means to have a full makeover. You know, that's. We were all rooting for you. How dare you.

[Kris Marshall]

It could be have a spin off, too.

[Jeff Lewis]

Why would I make up someone. Wait a minute. I'm gonna make over a housekeeper to then send her to someone else's house?

[Nikki Paris]

No, no, because you're thinking about somebody who doesn't have. Have the access. I mean, think about it. A true makeover could be tens of thousands of dollars. You're doing veneers. You're doing.

[Kris Marshall]

You know, does it include dental?

[Jeff Lewis]

We should do implants, too. Teeth or teeth are expensive.

[Kris Marshall]

Oh, yeah. Just breasts.

[Shane]

Wait, that's actually. It started as a joke, but I actually love it. And it, like, good idea, because it's not a joke. You got Zoila a facelift. So, like, that will be like the background story, the origin story. That'll be in, like, the opening package. You've always been passionate, and you'll host it. This is so good.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, my God. Spin off potential nanny, nannies, chefs for assistance.

[Shane]

Assistance.

[Kris Marshall]

You're perfect, Shane.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, my God. This could turn into, like, a huge. It's like the next 90 Day Fiance.

[Kris Marshall]

Literally, 90 Day Nanny.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, my God. There's so much we can do with this.

[Nikki Paris]

So much.

[Jeff Lewis]

All right, we have some great ideas brewing here. When we come back, we're going to continue to talk about the chunk mixer tonight, which you don't want to go, right, Chris?

[Nikki Paris]

I might go.

[Jeff Lewis]

Really? You would go?

[Shane]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. As much as I love your kid, there's no babies allowed. No, but he's so cute.

[Nikki Paris]

But he's so. He could. We could just.

[Shane]

We would all pass him around. We'll just play with him.

[Nikki Paris]

Yeah, he's a fun little party train.

[Kris Marshall]

Would you put him on a leash? We could all pass him around. Take turns.

[Jeff Lewis]

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[Kris Marshall]

Yes, I did. Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so you have you wrapped on season two, is that correct?

[Nikki Paris]

Yes, we did.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. And that was last month. You finished?

[Nikki Paris]

That's right. Which is why when you asked me to come back, I said no can do because I really try to get in the zone of the thing.

[Shane]

She's in the dome. She's in the show.

[Nikki Paris]

I'm in the. Debbie. I'm in the dome. I'm in the zone of the thing.

[Jeff Lewis]

I totally respect that. My question to you is for the paradise fans, when will season two be released?

[Nikki Paris]

It'll be early 2026, so probably in January. February. I don't think we have an exact.

[Jeff Lewis]

Air date, but how many episodes this time around?

[Nikki Paris]

Another eight.

[Jeff Lewis]

Great. Congratulations.

[Nikki Paris]

Thank you, sweetie.

[Jeff Lewis]

All right, so the chump mixer. I did want to talk about Oscar. I want to apologize to you because I know this was the second time that you somehow didn't make the guest list. But I'm so glad that we fixed the problem and that. Will you be attending tonight?

[Kris Marshall]

I will be, yes.

[Nikki Paris]

Oh, good.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Nikki Paris]

Yay. Good.

[Jeff Lewis]

And then, Keyan, did you apologize to Oscar separately? Because I know that there's this the second time now where Oscar was not on the invite list.

[Shane]

Well, I wanted to defend myself because.

[Jeff Lewis]

I have the text here.

[Shane]

I told Oscar it was not my fault.

[Nikki Paris]

Come on, Dakota Johnson, come with the wristb keying.

[Shane]

Well, Ellen, I said, hey, Shane, I'll handle inviting everyone. All that.

[Jameson]

And he said, great.

[Shane]

Let me know if there's anyone else I should add to the list. Enter, not Oscar. I said.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, Shane would never do that.

[Shane]

That was a miscommunication. I want Oscar there.

[Kris Marshall]

I thought you.

[Annie]

Jeff was the problem. But Shane's the problem.

[Shane]

I'm not the. Okay, if I.

[Jeff Lewis]

Why would you think I would not want Oscar?

[Shane]

It's because Jeff told me to say that I love Oscar. I want Oscar there.

[Nikki Paris]

Of course.

[Shane]

I'm always checking on him.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, my God.

[Shane]

If it is written. If for some reason that is a text in writing. I was simply relaying a message that Jeff told me to relay.

[Nikki Paris]

I am a gag. I am a goss at the bullying.

[Kris Marshall]

I'm speechless. Come on. No words.

[Nikki Paris]

Oscar, are you okay, sweetie?

[Kris Marshall]

I would like a raise. And you'd like to be paid in wrestling belts. Tell them signed only.

[Jeff Lewis]

All right. So I want to be honest with you. There was probably a time where maybe we may have overlooked slash excluded Austin, right?

[Shane]

I cannot recall we. I would never. I would never.

[Jeff Lewis]

However, I'm going to tell you. Since you started disliking me, I have liked you more. Isn't that weird?

[Nikki Paris]

I love that for you all.

[Jeff Lewis]

I need a therapist to unpack this.

[Shane]

It's the black cat theory. It's very simple. He was a golden retriever before. That's the one who, like, wants your attention, wants your affection comes around, wants to hang out. But then the black cat, that's the one who's just silently walking by. If you try to give them love, they'll scurry away. You have to wait for them to approach you. It's simple psychology, really.

[Kris Marshall]

Thank you, Dr. Ruth.

[Jeff Lewis]

So I think there's. You're right.

[Shane]

He's black hatting you.

[Jeff Lewis]

I have more respect for Oscar now that he black cats me.

[Shane]

We all know for you.

[Kris Marshall]

Are we just gonna forget that Shane was the one that sent the text message, though?

[Annie]

But Shane is Jeff's bitch, so he'll send anything.

[Shane]

Try chief of staff.

[Nikki Paris]

Chief of staff.

[Annie]

Chief of slay. So he has to say whatever Jeff wants him to say, you know?

[Jeff Lewis]

But Annie, did you have. I'm just curious because you're in the office. Did you ever hear me having a conversation with.

[Annie]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

What? Yeah, about Oscar.

[Annie]

You and Shane have been making this list, and it's been people added, people taking off, people added, taken off, and Kian is, like, running like crazy. Annie. Oh, my gosh. I invited this person, but now they said we took him off, and blah, blah, blah, blah. It's been crazy. But Oscar's name has never crossed the desk. Never.

[Nikki Paris]

Not once.

[Annie]

For the list for chump night.

[Nikki Paris]

So, Oscar, you're gonna go, despite the fact that you were essentially excluded.

[Kris Marshall]

Love me or hate me, you're always thinking about me.

[Nikki Paris]

Ooh, shiss baby, take up that space.

[Jeff Lewis]

I mean, that's not the case, but I'm glad that you were invited.

[Shane]

Me too.

[Kris Marshall]

Can't wait to trust fall later.

[Shane]

Are you coming?

[Jeff Lewis]

Please don't, Nick.

[Kris Marshall]

You won't. I promise. I promise I'll be on my best behavior.

[Shane]

Is Frank coming?

[Jameson]

No, no, he has a work event. Sorry, Jeff.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't believe you.

[Jameson]

Well, then you can. I'm not going to say where he's going to be, but you can go.

[Jeff Lewis]

He never supports him.

[Nikki Paris]

Chris, this is your partner.

[Jeff Lewis]

Never supports him. Never goes to my old man.

[Nikki Paris]

Never go say anything that's important to James. That's okay.

[Jameson]

That's okay. But that's not true. That's not the truth. Okay, so, yes, while it's okay, it's not the truth.

[Jeff Lewis]

I've been score. I've been to score.

[Nikki Paris]

Two years.

[Jameson]

He has a job and he has a career and he has obligations.

[Nikki Paris]

Exactly.

[Jeff Lewis]

No one is that busy. Kris Marshall.

[Jameson]

He's not claiming he's that busy.

[Nikki Paris]

He has a life.

[Jameson]

He has a job. He has a career.

[Nikki Paris]

Thank you. Stand by your man.

[Jeff Lewis]

So do you. But you always manage to make it to his events and don't. I'm not even gonna go to. You know, I'm not gonna talk about the gay choir. Not gonna talk about it.

[Nikki Paris]

You're in gay men's choir?

[Jameson]

No, he's in the gay men's course. And Jeff thinks he's trying to exclude me from the gay men's chorus, but that's his thing. And I love that he sings.

[Kris Marshall]

Do you sing?

[Jameson]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

He's a better singer.

[Shane]

Beautifully.

[Jeff Lewis]

He's a better singer than Franck.

[Jameson]

He's a better singer than me, basically.

[Jeff Lewis]

That is not true.

[Jameson]

This is just Jeff's, like, better woman syndrome.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes.

[Shane]

Oh, Frank has the beautiful voice. Frank is the star.

[Nikki Paris]

Jameson, you're a star.

[Jameson]

Thank you, guys.

[Jeff Lewis]

You are a star.

[Kris Marshall]

Do a little ave. Maria, for us.

[Nikki Paris]

Don't make him sing.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm so intimidated by Jameson's talent.

[Jameson]

Oh, my gosh, he's wonderful. He's like, just such a great partner.

[Nikki Paris]

I mean, I saw him in that photo and I can see immediately.

[Jameson]

Thank you.

[Nikki Paris]

Or aura. Aura.

[Jameson]

Ora. Everyone should be so lucky to be supported and loved by a man like that.

[Nikki Paris]

Yeah.

[Jameson]

By a person like that. Jeff's telling me to give the vom. As I. Jeff's bored bitch. I will.

[Kris Marshall]

Bored bitch.

[Jeff Lewis]

All right, so I'm glad Kris Marshall's here. Cause she is the voice of reason.

[Nikki Paris]

Somebody gotta be.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, I wanna. I have something that triggers me, and I'm curious if it bothers you. So when someone says in their Instagram, so many exciting things happening, big things are coming, but then there's no explanation, that bothers me.

[Nikki Paris]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

It really triggers me because everyone I know who says that has nothing going on and it never fucking happens. And so I just strongly believe you do not talk about it until it's happening. Right. And you really don't really, really talk about it until the contract is signed. But I just. I think people who do that don't have anything going on.

[Nikki Paris]

The people that bother me more than that are the people with the hospital wristband. And then there's a selfie, you know, in the fricking with the iv and they go hard days ahead. Like, baby, what happened? Okay, tell me what happened so I can know what's going on and either send thoughts and prayers or a thumbs up, like, what is right. That bothers me more.

[Kris Marshall]

Almost died. Might delete. Like what?

[Nikki Paris]

Yeah, right. Exactly.

[Jeff Lewis]

Nikki.

[Nikki Paris]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

We know that you're doing big things.

[Kris Marshall]

Don't do that. This was about me.

[Jeff Lewis]

Don't do that.

[Nikki Paris]

Oh, is this a. Was it you, Nikki?

[Jameson]

So many exciting things happening. Cry face.

[Kris Marshall]

Hey, last week I got a script for a Broadway play. I was excited, funny on ebay. I bought it. I chipped in for a limited edition of the Phantom of the Opera, 1990. I'll be playing all the parts. We're gonna do it together.

[Nikki Paris]

Is there something to discuss or. The thing is still unfolding.

[Kris Marshall]

It's unfolding. Well, I shot to lizard TV this week. You're gonna see it soon. It's gonna be on. You'll see.

[Nikki Paris]

We will see it soon. Jen.

[Jeff Lewis]

Just wait. Wait. Just wait.

[Kris Marshall]

I knew it was about me. I knew the.

[Jeff Lewis]

Just wait.

[Nikki Paris]

I didn't see that coming.

[Kris Marshall]

Okay, I'm sorry.

[Shane]

Date on a play, Part two.

[Kris Marshall]

No, it.

[Jeff Lewis]

You have legitimate things going on. We don't need to talk about something that might happen.

[Nikki Paris]

He is excited.

[Kris Marshall]

I might get a six pack too. You know, I'm just living in theory. I'm living in theory about the future.

[Jeff Lewis]

Jeffrey, now is it true that you're. Well, first of all, Chris doesn't know your best friend is an 87 year old woman.

[Nikki Paris]

Yes. Oh my goodness. I didn't think I could love you more.

[Kris Marshall]

I know Gladys. She just turned 88.

[Nikki Paris]

I love Gladys.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, yes.

[Kris Marshall]

I cherish every minute with my sweet Gladys. And when she saw me do comedy for the first time, she went, you're really good, but could you be a little less gay? Your voice is a little high. Could you lower it a little bit?

[Jeff Lewis]

I think that's some really good.

[Kris Marshall]

Well, it's lowered now. It's low now.

[Jeff Lewis]

What does Gladys think about so many exciting things happening? I bet Gladys would say no, take it down.

[Kris Marshall]

Yeah, listen, she loves me. I bought her to Christmas one year. My parents been waiting my whole life for me to bring a girl home for Christmas. Little did they know. I bought home an 88 year old woman and I made her laugh so bad that she peed my mom's dining room chair. That was content. Part of a $10,000.

[Shane]

How did you.

[Kris Marshall]

I make the girls wet. What can I say? Not the way that I thought. There she is and there's Christian.

[Nikki Paris]

Wait, she does not look a day over 65. Yes. Beautiful.

[Kris Marshall]

Yes.

[Shane]

How did you and Gladys meet?

[Nikki Paris]

I was gonna say we met doing.

[Kris Marshall]

Comedy and she's like my third. My third grandma a little bit. And she's. She just got out of the hospital for a drug overdose. She's addicted to Ativan and she slept in a crib until she was nine. Her mother was institutionalized and she didn't know how to use a fork or a knife till she was 21.

[Nikki Paris]

Wow, what a crazy story.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wow, that's really uplifting.

[Kris Marshall]

But she came through it. Come on. And now she's at Christmas with me. Not so bad.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did you go in, Were you with her recently in New York?

[Kris Marshall]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

What did you do?

[Kris Marshall]

We went to go see the immersive Phantom of the Opera experience together.

[Jeff Lewis]

Explain that.

[Kris Marshall]

So you. It's very expensive. It's like $400 a ticket. And put you through this warehouse where you walk through the show and her and I had. Both had an edible.

[Jeff Lewis]

And you had a movie, you and Gladys?

[Kris Marshall]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

You had edibles?

[Kris Marshall]

Yes, we did. That's right. I'm getting granny messed up.

[Jameson]

You gave an addict drugs?

[Kris Marshall]

What can I say? So you had to walk through each of the scenes, and I was a little stoned. And it's dark and it's smoky. It's hard to see. And they're performing around you. And I got hit with a piece of scenery, and they had to stop the show. No, it was very, in my defense, was very dark and smoky, and it was scary.

[Shane]

So chandelier fell on you.

[Kris Marshall]

They pushed me. It was so bad. Cause it's huge scenery and you're in a room like this and they're performing around you. It's all the hype. But, yes, they stopped the show for me. And they pushed me out of the well.

[Jeff Lewis]

You were stoned and you probably fell or ran into something. No one pushed you.

[Kris Marshall]

I was in the way of the scenery. No, I'm telling you, they pushed me. I almost wrote it on Yelp. I was scared.

[Jeff Lewis]

And then how did Gladys do during all of this?

[Kris Marshall]

She had a hard time. It was a lot of stares. So we were the worst person to have in the group because we held up the entire show.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's the other thing. See, I would not take that other housekeeper there. Too many stairs.

[Shane]

You can't hire her because we couldn't take her to the Phantom of the Opera experience.

[Jeff Lewis]

The immersive experience.

[Nikki Paris]

That's the part.

[Kris Marshall]

It's called Masquerade.

[Jameson]

But if I mention one of the responsibilities just to help Jeff's brand. You're not hiring her because she's just not qualified enough.

[Kris Marshall]

Right.

[Shane]

We actually did find a more qualified.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're right. I found a better fit.

[Jameson]

There you go.

[Jeff Lewis]

I was considering hiring her.

[Nikki Paris]

Good.

[Jeff Lewis]

But then. Yes.

[Jameson]

Found a better.

[Jeff Lewis]

I found Ruthie.

[Jameson]

Gotcha.

[Nikki Paris]

Okay. Great name, by the way. Ruthie's so charming.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know. But I'm gonna give her a nickname, I think.

[Nikki Paris]

Oh, does she want a nickname?

[Jeff Lewis]

No. R. I'll probably call. Call her Maria.

[Nikki Paris]

Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Give me. Oh, God.

[Jeff Lewis]

Just kidding. Kidding. Chris, tell us about the Emmys.

[Nikki Paris]

I'll save you.

[Jeff Lewis]

I saw those dresses. Gorgeous.

[Nikki Paris]

Thank you.

[Jeff Lewis]

I heard you.

[Nikki Paris]

I don't know if you want to keep me as a guest, because I don't know if you heard, but my dress zipper broke as I was putting it on, so I'm a.02. Is that. Am I too chunky to be in the studio? Should I?

[Jeff Lewis]

You're a bitch.

[Nikki Paris]

Okay. I'm just saying, because I'm so fat, my dress broke. So just letting you know.

[Jeff Lewis]

What time did you have to be there? Because you. I know you posted at 7am that you were getting ready.

[Nikki Paris]

Yeah. So here's. Here's the tea about the Emmys that people may not understand. So the doors open at 2 and it seems a bit silly to get there at 2, but at the same time, it is really like you become fashion roadkill if you don't get there right at two on the nose. Because as the day goes on, bigger stars start to arrive and you got your Cate Blanchetts and all that, so you can compete with them. So it's important that you're there exactly at 2. So, yeah, I got up at 7 to get a long hot bath. And as you can see there, look at you posted on Instagram because I think it's important for. For folks to say the real deal side boob.

[Shane]

That's the real deal.

[Nikki Paris]

And then the people come and they do the glam and you do the photos and all of that. And then it's time for you to schlep to the Emmys and kind of like, you know, hawk everybody and say, please interview me from door to door to door.

[Jeff Lewis]

But Chris, you got the dress on.

[Nikki Paris]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

And they zipped it up. And then what happened?

[Nikki Paris]

The zipper broke.

[Jeff Lewis]

Like, broke off.

[Nikki Paris]

Like completely came off the track.

[Jeff Lewis]

Who makes that dress?

[Nikki Paris]

It's made by an Indonesian couture designer called Sebastian.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's gorgeous.

[Nikki Paris]

I loved it. And so thank God we were staying at the Ritz and they have an in house seamstress who came up and just literally used upholstery seam fabric to upholstery sewing to sew me in. And so I was in it.

[Shane]

You were sewn in?

[Nikki Paris]

I was sewn in.

[Shane]

How do you pee?

[Nikki Paris]

Very carefully.

[Jeff Lewis]

So your show was nominated for four Emmys.

[Nikki Paris]

That's right. Including best drama.

[Kris Marshall]

It's amazing.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's incredible.

[Kris Marshall]

And you're an incredible show. You know, in the show, I mean, it's like, it's very action packed.

[Nikki Paris]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kris Marshall]

She's fighting people, shooting at people.

[Jeff Lewis]

A lot of physical contact. Yeah.

[Kris Marshall]

I wouldn't want to mess with you.

[Nikki Paris]

I had just had a kid when we started that show.

[Kris Marshall]

Wow.

[Nikki Paris]

Yeah, tough stuff.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now then you change for the after party. And what after party do you go to?

[Nikki Paris]

I went to the Disney after party and then the Apple after party. And that dress Jameson's going to pull up was so short that if you sneezed, my coochie would show the Christian Siriano. That's the Christian Siriano? Yeah. Okay. Coochie.

[Jameson]

It's like a blue fluffy.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, yeah, we could see it. What a gorgeous vagina that is.

[Kris Marshall]

Some cooter if I've ever seen it. It's almost floral, like.

[Nikki Paris]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Shane]

Gorgeous.

[Kris Marshall]

That is a beautiful dress.

[Nikki Paris]

So, yeah. Jeff, have you been to the Emmys before?

[Jeff Lewis]

I have not. Oh, yes, I have. Oh, yeah, I was nominated. But the second one, the creative one.

[Nikki Paris]

That'S still the Emmys.

[Kris Marshall]

Big deal. Yes, those are still Emmys. Don't downplay it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, I forgot. Just like you forgot your anniversary. You gotta do something for your husband.

[Nikki Paris]

Today, you know, I'm sure he'll pull something together. I do feel like, you know, that's. Oh, gosh, is this so.

[Kris Marshall]

Aren't you glad you found out here?

[Nikki Paris]

Well, it's just so traditional of me, but I feel like that's the man's job to make something nice for you on your anniversary.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think it's nice to reciprocate, though.

[Kris Marshall]

You have to.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. I don't think it has to be as grandiose as whatever he's gonna do.

[Kris Marshall]

For you at Stay Handy.

[Nikki Paris]

Oh, yeah, I can do that.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, I can make that.

[Shane]

Have you talked about, like, your plans tonight? Has he said, like, where do you want to go on Thursday?

[Nikki Paris]

I know that he has a sitter booked, so I know there'll be something.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Nikki Paris]

Yes.

[Kris Marshall]

Why don't you celebrate your anniversary with us tonight?

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, yeah. You don't want to take him.

[Nikki Paris]

I completely forgot again. You're right. I can't go to this chump mixer. I took my hand.

[Kris Marshall]

Bring him. We'd love to meet him, but, like.

[Jeff Lewis]

Kendra's bringing a very handsome gay guy.

[Nikki Paris]

Yeah, I guess.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're not going to be able to meet him.

[Nikki Paris]

Not anymore. Wait, so she is or isn't bringing the friends? She's not bringing the friends.

[Jeff Lewis]

I am not taking the fall for Annie, okay?

[Annie]

I don't want him there either. I guess I said that to keep my job.

[Kris Marshall]

This is like the weakest link. It's very exciting, Shane.

[Shane]

I would love to meet him.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, you're such an asshole.

[Nikki Paris]

I bet he's really funny. I think he should come, too.

[Shane]

He looks sweet and fun.

[Nikki Paris]

I think so, too.

[Kris Marshall]

I would love for him to come. Maybe I could help him find Dick in Hermosa beach, too. You know what I mean? Look, at this point, he has to come now.

[Nikki Paris]

No, he has to come.

[Jeff Lewis]

What if he listens?

[Nikki Paris]

Lakeisha, listen to me. It's Kris Marshall. He's invited, okay? I am throwing down my little weight in this room, and I'm saying that he can come. That's it. So.

[Jeff Lewis]

All right, fine.

[Nikki Paris]

Yay, go ahead and text him.

[Jeff Lewis]

He's coming.

[Nikki Paris]

Oh, she's gonna get thrilled.

[Jeff Lewis]

All right, Kris Marshall. Fine. It's the right thing to do.

[Nikki Paris]

It is the right thing to do.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, let's see. Denise in California, line two. Hi, Denise.

[Nikki Paris]

Hi, Jeff. Hi, everyone.

[Kris Marshall]

Shout out.

[Nikki Paris]

Keith.

[Kris Marshall]

Good morning.

[Nikki Paris]

I was just calling in. I went to Becky and Nikki show yesterday. I was the one that yelled out shout out chump.

[Kris Marshall]

Yes.

[Nikki Paris]

In the middle of Nikki set.

[Kris Marshall]

Hi, Denise. Did you have fun?

[Nikki Paris]

Such a great job. It was so much fun. But God damn, Jeff, Becky kind of has you beat with the. How do I say this the nice way? So many, so many. There's not a lot of diversity in Nikki with Becky fans. I was like, oh, my goodness. I think she has Jeff beat.

[Kris Marshall]

That's just Hermosa Beach.

[Nikki Paris]

Wait, so what you're saying minority there?

[Jeff Lewis]

This is. This is. Wait, really diversity wise?

[Shane]

I thought she's saying Becky has more white fans than we do.

[Nikki Paris]

Oh, yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so that's good. I'm. I have a very diverse group of people here.

[Shane]

I like that.

[Nikki Paris]

Way to flip it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Chris Marshall.

[Nikki Paris]

And thank you, Denise. I'm black as fuck, baby.

[Kris Marshall]

Listen, Hermosa beach, it just looks like a Chili's at all times. You know what I mean? That's the vibe. It's not us. It's just that's who lives in that city, Denise. I swear.

[Nikki Paris]

But yes, I just wanted to call. It was a fun show of anybody. You know, they go to their town, go watch them. They're hilarious.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you recommend their show? Isn't it. It's the members only tour. Right. And then where do we go for tickets?

[Kris Marshall]

Beckyrobinsonthegreat.com or entitled housewife.com.

[Jeff Lewis]

And you guys are in. Are you this weekend in Phoenix?

[Kris Marshall]

Yes, we're in Phoenix. And I'm headlining this Sunday, April 21st. September 21st, House of Comedy in Phoenix. So Saturday night, me and Becky, Sunday night, come see us.

[Nikki Paris]

Yay.

[Jeff Lewis]

And then you're in Toronto. So you go to Canada at the end of September, it looks like three shows. And then you're going. Oh, then you go to Tulum, Mexico. All right, so you go to nikkiparris.com and theentitledhousewife.com or what?

[Kris Marshall]

Becky Robinson.

[Jeff Lewis]

Got it.

[Kris Marshall]

Three options. Get your tickets.

[Jeff Lewis]

All right, now, I saw a Insta. Thank you so much for coming.

[Kris Marshall]

Thank you, Denise. Thank you for coming.

[Jeff Lewis]

I saw an Insta post. Another one where you said, from me, I will fight everyone at your company at Invisalign.

[Nikki Paris]

Wait, wait, wait. What's the. What's the problem with Invisalign?

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't know. What is the problem with Invisalign?

[Shane]

Will you fight?

[Kris Marshall]

I will. I know I'd love that. I'm threatening to pull up and fight the janitor. No. They basically, like, keep taking. They keep. My teeth aren't moving right. So I'm supposed to be on it for six months, and it's turning into a two year thing because they're saying they keep taking it off and putting it back on. And my dentist is basically telling me I'm up Schitt's creek and he doesn't care.

[Nikki Paris]

But are you wearing them religiously? Because you really have to be diligent about it.

[Kris Marshall]

Yeah. You know, they're like, 22 hours a day. I'm like. I'm not even sure I'm breathing for 22 hours a day, but.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you are wearing them? Yes. And your teeth are not moving?

[Kris Marshall]

They are, but they're just moving. My bite is messed up, so I'm a victim.

[Jeff Lewis]

So why are you blaming Invisalign?

[Kris Marshall]

Because they are clearly messing up. Here I am. I shelled out all the cash.

[Jeff Lewis]

But you're saying they're moving. They're just moving slower.

[Kris Marshall]

They're moving, right? No. When I bite down, my teeth touch on this side, but not this side right now. And he won't help me. I said, I went on TV this week with a crooked smile. Don't you care for artistry? And he said, no.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, Okay. I had braces.

[Nikki Paris]

Yeah, me too.

[Jeff Lewis]

I had braces twice. Yeah.

[Nikki Paris]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

You don't want to do braces.

[Kris Marshall]

No.

[Shane]

He's on stage.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Kris Marshall]

Come on.

[Annie]

He cannot do braces.

[Kris Marshall]

Yeah. Jeff, I don't want things to get worse.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, Annie, what did you say to Chris Marshall at the break?

[Annie]

Well, she was saying this is such a good story arc that now we're bringing, like, Kendra's friend in. But I'm saying it's worse because now he's gonna be scared coming in. He knows we were all guilted into inviting him, and we're gonna be super awkward.

[Nikki Paris]

He doesn't know this isn't live.

[Kris Marshall]

We're paying it forward. This is like the Big Brother program.

[Nikki Paris]

Have a blast. He'll be the talk of the conversation. That's perfect.

[Jeff Lewis]

Chris, I'm so sorry that your husband has plans tonight, but you have to come because you're the only one that's gonna talk to him. You have to come.

[Nikki Paris]

He's gonna come. He's gonna come. It's about community.

[Shane]

He's not gonna hear this.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, wait a minute. No, he's not gonna hear it. We could set him up with Oscar.

[Nikki Paris]

Yay.

[Jeff Lewis]

Why did I not think of that sooner? That's not gonna happen. Why Oscar? I'm sorry. Have you seen a picture of it? I have.

[Kris Marshall]

Not my type.

[Jeff Lewis]

Sorry, flat cat.

[Nikki Paris]

Now I see. Now I see why you two were beefing.

[Jeff Lewis]

He used to be Oscar.

[Nikki Paris]

I was on your side before.

[Jeff Lewis]

He used to be so sweet.

[Kris Marshall]

Can I ask you if out of the. At the chump mixer, which chumps you think would hook up such a question?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, we really discourage it.

[Kris Marshall]

Yeah, same. I just.

[Jeff Lewis]

But Joey. Joey and anyone, basically. Now you always. Chris. You know, Chris Marshall. You might want to tell her every. Like you say.

[Jameson]

I always say every egg spoils at Jeff Lewis Live.

[Nikki Paris]

What? What does that mean? What does that mean?

[Jameson]

Every egg goes bad. Everyone starts great and sweet and happy and nice, and then they just rot from the inside.

[Nikki Paris]

And you see that happening with Oscar?

[Jameson]

Yes.

[Nikki Paris]

His sweetness is draining from his sweet.

[Jameson]

He's transitioning.

[Jeff Lewis]

And I have a question. Do you remember when Shane was the sweetest person on earth?

[Jameson]

Yes, I am.

[Jeff Lewis]

And now he's sending texts, not Oscar.

[Nikki Paris]

Yep. Ooh.

[Shane]

I'm doing my job.

[Jeff Lewis]

He used to be the sweetest kid.

[Nikki Paris]

Shane, what happened to you? I'm still sweet. Mm.

[Jeff Lewis]

Smells like rotten.

[Kris Marshall]

Why'd your voice go up at the end?

[Jeff Lewis]

Now I will say. I will say. Annie would never started off sweet.

[Nikki Paris]

Ooh, Annie. Is that true?

[Annie]

She's real and consistent.

[Jeff Lewis]

Was Kian nice?

[Shane]

No.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, I don't think so.

[Nikki Paris]

I like Keon.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, but I'm just.

[Nikki Paris]

What about me? Am I still sweet? Yeah. Woo. The room fell sweet.

[Kris Marshall]

Let us think about that.

[Jeff Lewis]

I wouldn't say you're sweet. I think I have a lot of complimentary things to say about you. But unfortunately, you know, we have.

[Nikki Paris]

We're running out of.

[Jeff Lewis]

Thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Jeff Lewis live every weekday on SiriusXM as well as the Jeff Lewis Channel, exclusively on the SiriusXM app.

[Nikki Paris]

Your skin should never come second.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's why Pact makes everyday essentials from the purest organic cotton.

[Jameson]

No toxins, no harsh cash chemicals.

[Jeff Lewis]

Just softness you can feel good in. Because wellness isn't just what you put.

[Jameson]

In your body, it's what you put on it too.

[Jeff Lewis]

From the first layer to the last, getting dressed should feel like self care. Visit wearpacked.com and use code dresswell for 15% off your first order packed. Dress yourself well.

[Nikki Paris]

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