Kym Whitley & Sarah Colonna: Booster Seats & Nominations

Summary

Jeff Lewis Has Issues

Episode: Kym Whitley & Sarah Colonna: Booster Seats & Nominations
Date: February 18, 2026
Host: Jeff Lewis
Guests: Kym Whitley, Sarah Colonna

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Jeff Lewis welcomes comedians Kym Whitley and Sarah Colonna for a candid and hilarious discussion of personal lives, family chaos, comedy show etiquette, booster seat “laws,” pet parenting, and award show politics. The trio dives into stories about Super Bowl adventures, divorce hypotheticals, the struggles of raising Gen Alpha/Gen Z kids, punishing teenagers, and the awkward pitfalls of being friends in the comedy world. As always, the conversation is infused with Jeff’s signature no-filter humor and spontaneous banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Super Bowl & Halftime Show Recap

• Sarah’s Super Bowl Experience: Sarah Colonna shares her experience attending the Super Bowl, highlighting the fun, high energy, and Bad Bunny’s performance.
  • Sarah: “I downloaded a bunch of [Bad Bunny music] right after. It was fun. It was a very fun, like, dancing ...” (02:02)
• Halftime Show Protocol: The group jokes about the tradition of skipping the halftime show for drinks/bathroom breaks, but Sarah made her husband get drinks so she could stay and watch this year.
• Bad Bunny Discussion: Kym laments there were no English subtitles during the performance, admitting she loved the energy but wanted to know what he was saying.
  • Jeff: “He’s so good looking. I didn’t care.” (03:13)
  • Sarah, jokingly: “It made me feel warm downstairs.” (03:15)

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2. Sarah’s NFL Husband & The Divorce Stuff

• NFL Connections: Sarah’s husband is a former NFL player, played 12 years, won a Super Bowl, and Sarah wears a special version of his ring as a necklace.
  • Sarah: “It’s the top of the ring. So basically the ring ceremony, they gave him an option to buy [a necklace]. So he got me one...” (04:21)
• Hypothetical Divorce: Jeff probes about what Sarah would “fight for” in a divorce (house, cats, Christmas decorations).
  • Sarah (joking): “Yeah, I’ll keep the house ... The cats, yeah. He can have his Christmas decorations, right? ... Just to be spiteful.” (05:03)
• Comedy about Relationships: Jokes abound about ten-year marital “tenure” and who gets what if things go sideways.

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3. Party Invitations & Comedy Etiquette

• Front Row Faux Pas: Jeff shares his mistake of buying front-row tickets to a friend’s comedy show—unaware it’s a comedy faux pas.
  • Jeff: “Truly, I’ve never gone to see any of them. So I bought 10 tickets right in the front row ... I thought this would be great.” (07:54)
  • Sarah: “You don’t sit up front ... I don’t want to look at my mom’s face while I’m talking crazy, period.” (08:34)
• Crowd Work Challenges: Both Kym and Sarah discuss how it’s awkward and unnatural to do “crowd work” on friends, especially if they're seated close.
  • Kym: “It’s hard to do crowd work on your friends.” (09:36)

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4. Hilarious Comedy Stories

• Caroline Rhea’s Showgirl Costume: Miscommunication led Caroline Rhea to arrive dressed as a Vegas showgirl for an ordinary recording—a story that becomes a running bit.
  • Kim: “Something got mixed up... No, she literally wore a Vegas showgirl outfit ... and was confused that she wasn’t dressed that way.” (11:33)

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5. Friendship, Flirting, & Sexual Banter

• Playful Banter: There’s irrepressible banter about sexual attraction, both real and as a running joke—with Jeff teasing Sarah, Kym flirting openly, and everyone riffing on each other’s vibes.
  • Kym: “Oh, I’ve used you several nights in my bedroom.” (20:43)
  • Sarah (mock deadpan): “I listen to this show with one hand.” (20:46)

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6. Parenting: Gen Alpha/Gen Z, Booster Seats & Teen Discipline

• The Mystery of Teens Not Wanting to Drive: Kim and Jeff discuss their children’s surprising disinterest in learning to drive, with Kim suggesting it’s a generational shift due to Uber and other rideshare options.

  • Kim: “They said, wait till your child asks to learn to drive. Don’t force them...” (22:12)

• Booster Seat Comedy: Kym says she still makes her 15-year-old sit in a booster seat, pretending it’s the law—despite him being 5’9”. This leads to a hilarious group investigation of what the law actually requires.

  • Kim: “I just told him there’s a law ... kids have to be in a booster seat until they’re like 16. It’s a new law in California.” (23:48)
  • Jeff: “You have your 15 year old in a booster seat.” (24:02)
  • Sarah: “If you put him on a booster seat, doesn’t his head hit the roof of the car?” (24:54)

• Punishment Tactics:

  • Kim: “I used to ... put peanut butter on my finger ... he’s allergic to peanut butter ... but now, he has to do pushups, run laps ...” (26:54)

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7. Pet Parenting and Pet Services

• Adoption Advocacy: Kym explains she prefers letting the dog “pick her” when adopting, and recounts her boxer’s wildness and a related pool accident.
  • Kim: “You have to research your dogs ... I didn’t know boxers were so, like, crazy and out of control ... he clipped me ... I snapped my neck.” (40:04-40:23)
• Local Dog Daycares: Jeff discusses sending Toby to Wag on Highland for its luxurious amenities (“Wag Kiki Beach”), while Kim jokes about “Andy's Groomer” as the budget alternative.
  • Jeff: "We're very excited because they have an indoor outdoor situation ... Wag Kiki Beach." (45:35)

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8. Award Nominations & Voting Drama

• Kim’s NAACP Image Award Nomination: Kym is up for an NAACP Image Award for hosting the HBCU Honors—she encourages listeners to vote, but is dismayed to find her own picture missing from the official voting page.
  • Kym: “But you have other shows ... For the dates ... tickets you go to IamKimWhitley.com ... And I am up for an NAACP Image Award ... please everyone go vote @naacp.org ...” (36:34–36:58)
  • Jeff: “...promote it, yet they cut you off? ... you’re not even on it?” (42:51–43:01)
• Voting Jokes: The group riffs on voting for Kevin Hart instead, gets lost on the confusing website, and debates who is truly eligible to vote.

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9. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Divorce Negotiations:

  • Jeff: “Are there things you would fight him over in the divorce?” (04:57)
  • Sarah: “He can have his Christmas decorations ... Just to be spiteful.” (05:12)

• Comedy Show Etiquette Confession:

  • Jeff: “I didn’t know in the comedy world that if you go to a friend’s comedy show you do not sit in the front row. I did not know the rules, the protocol. I am sorry I fucked up.” (07:36)

• On Booster Seats:

  • Kim (deadpan): “There’s a law ... these kids have to be in a booster seat until they’re like 16. It’s a new law in California.” (23:48)
  • Sarah: “If you put him on a booster seat, doesn’t his head hit the roof of the car?” (24:54)

• Kym’s Parenting Style:

  • Kym: “I used to ... put peanut butter on my finger ... and I would say, don’t do it again ... [now] 50 pushups, jumping jacks, everything.” (26:54, 27:30)

• Riffing on Pet Services:

  • Jeff: “There’s mister’s, there’s everything, towel service ...” (45:55)
  • Sarah: “Towel service?” (46:00)

• On Award Show Irony:

  • Jeff: “...promote it, yet they cut you off? ... you’re not even on it?” (42:51–43:01)
  • Kim: “I’m gonna be at the award show, and I ... am going up to get that award.” (42:58)

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Important Segment Timestamps

| Time | Segment | |---------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:22 | Introduction, Sarah returns from Super Bowl | | 02:02 | Bad Bunny halftime show discussion | | 04:21 | NFL husband’s ring/necklace story | | 07:54 | Comedy show etiquette: buying front row seats | | 09:36 | Crowd work on friends, comedy protocol | | 11:33 | Caroline Rhea’s showgirl costume mishap | | 20:43 | Playful flirting and one-handed listening jokes | | 22:12 | Teens and driving: generational changes | | 23:48 | Kym’s (fake) booster seat law for her 15-year-old son | | 26:54 | Parenting punishments: peanut butter, pushups, and laps | | 40:04 | Kym’s boxer dog accident and adoption philosophies | | 36:34 | Kym promotes her standup dates (repeats, concludes around 36:58 and after) | | 42:51 | NAACP Image Award voting, missing headshots, and voting confusion | | 45:35 | Jeff lauds “Wag Kiki Beach” dog daycare, luxury pet amenities | | 48:14 | Sarah’s upcoming standup dates |

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Additional Memorable Moments

• Miscommunication leading guests to dress up for the wrong occasion
• Repeated jokes about being tenured after a decade of marriage
• Kym’s parenting “hacks” of inventing laws to control teenagers
• Jeff recruiting his daughter as a mole to monitor household staff when she’s home sick
• Delightful tangents about high-voiced men, friendship lines, and the realities of modern family life

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Conclusion

This episode is a fun, fast-paced window into Jeff Lewis’s world—full of oversharing, sitcom-worthy parenting dilemmas, candid laughter, and real talk about the everyday chaos of relationships, family, and showbiz. Kym Whitley and Sarah Colonna keep the energy high and the gags coming, blending heartfelt moments and social commentary with raw comic timing. If you want to catch these comedy pros live or vote for their award show nominations, the show details their upcoming dates and links.

For more:

• See Kym Whitley’s upcoming dates at iamkimwhitley.com
• Vote for her NAACP Image Award at naacpimageawards.net
• Find Sarah Colonna’s tour at sarahcolonna.com
• Tickets for Jeff’s live shows at phoenix.standuplive.com

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Original language and tone preserved: irreverent, unfiltered, and unmistakably hilarious.

Transcript

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[Jeff Lewis]

Stop fucking apologizing. You're not making it any better. You're just reminding me how late we are. I know I'm specific. I know I'm a little high maintenance, which is why I tip really fucking well. I don't wanna start shit, but don't you really?

[Kim Whitley]

Okay. Really?

[Sarah Colonna]

Jeff Lewis has issues.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hey, welcome to Jeff Lewis Has Issues. In today's episode, Kim Whitley and Sarah Colonna join the show. We talk about Kim's nomination and her teenager's booster se. Plus, Sarah shares her list of items she'll keep if she gets divorced. Morning.

[Kim Whitley]

Good morning.

[Jeff Lewis]

Welcome back. You were at the super bowl this weekend.

[Sarah Colonna]

I was, yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

How was it?

[Sarah Colonna]

It was really fun.

[Jeff Lewis]

I didn't see any posts about the halftime show, though. You didn't post about it?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, I did. On my stories.

[Jeff Lewis]

I have to tell you, we.

[Sarah Colonna]

It was really fun. A lot of dancing was happening.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's so crazy because I was never a Bad Bunny fan. I didn't even really know his music at all, but I really. I liked the show. I liked his music now too.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know I downloaded a bunch of it right after. I was like, this is. It was fun. It was a very fun, like dancing. And it just. I. I didn't watch. The other time I'd been to the super bowl was when John won. Or. Well, then actually they lost that one. But I didn't go. I didn't watch the halftime show. It was Katy Perry and Missy Elliott, and I didn't watch it because I.

[Kim Whitley]

Had to go get.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's when you go get drinks and go to the bathroom because everyone's in their seats.

[Shane]

Sorry, Katie.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know, but this time I was like, I made Jon go get me one, and then I stayed.

[Jeff Lewis]

Were you wearing some sort of, like, super bowl necklace of some kind?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, I have a. I have a. I forgot to wear it today. I told Keon I would, and then I forgot it. But it's the top. It's the top of the ring.

[Jeff Lewis]

And Son is a former NFL player.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, she hasn't.

[Kim Whitley]

Yeah, I've been doing research on her shit.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. And I learned some things about her in the green room.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, you did?

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, yeah.

[Kim Whitley]

We've been chatting because I watched her stand up. But wait, let's get back to bad Bunn. I just got one quick question. Why didn't they put English subtitles? They know a lot of us can't speak Spanish. I wanted to know what he was saying. I mean, I got it in the field and I loved it, but I really wanted to. Now I don't know how to go back and figure out.

[Jeff Lewis]

We gotta translate it.

[Sarah Colonna]

I'll tell you what. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care.

[Jeff Lewis]

He's so good looking. I didn't care.

[Sarah Colonna]

It made me feel warm downstairs.

[Kim Whitley]

Really?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

And it's been a while.

[Kim Whitley]

Yeah. What.

[Sarah Colonna]

Why did I agree with that?

[Kim Whitley]

It was fantastic. I love that. A good bunny. Bunny, bunny, bunny.

[Jeff Lewis]

So was.

[Sarah Colonna]

Was really fun. It was. Yeah. I. I mean, I had been like, I said to one before, and John obviously has never. He. He was, like, confused about sitting in the stands because he kept. He's like, wow, it takes a really long time to get a drink. I'm like, yeah, welcome to sitting in the stands, asshole. Like, this is what it's like for normal people. But he had so much fun.

[Jeff Lewis]

So he. His career was. How many years did he play?

[Sarah Colonna]

12 in the NFL and did.

[Jeff Lewis]

How many times he went to Super Bowl? At least once, right?

[Sarah Colonna]

Twice. Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Twice.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. So he won.

[Jeff Lewis]

He played in the super bowl twice.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yes, he won one.

[Jeff Lewis]

Is that crazy?

[Sarah Colonna]

And then the second year. But. So he has a ring. Yeah. And he's played twice.

[Kim Whitley]

And he has a great retirement plan.

[Sarah Colonna]

He does have a really good retirement plan.

[Jeff Lewis]

People don't know Sarah was walking around with that ring around her necklace. But on you, people probably thought it was fake, asshole.

[Kim Whitley]

I don't know. I believe him.

[Sarah Colonna]

What's wrong with you, Kim?

[Kim Whitley]

You know what? Cause I love Jeff.

[Sarah Colonna]

It's the top of the ring. So basically the ring ceremony, they gave him an option to buy that. So he got me one. His mom, his sisters. Very sweet. Yeah.

[Kim Whitley]

But you cut the ring off.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, it's just the top. It's on a necklace instead.

[Kim Whitley]

You cut it. You cut. You cut it or you ordered it that way.

[Sarah Colonna]

You order it that way. It's just the top of the ring.

[Kim Whitley]

That's how ghetto I am. I was like, oh, they took it to the shop, they had to cut the ring.

[Jeff Lewis]

If you get divorced, would he want that back?

[Sarah Colonna]

No, no, he can't have it. Ten years, whatever you said. Right. Don't I get to keep whatever I want now?

[Kim Whitley]

Exactly.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes, pretty much.

[Sarah Colonna]

You can't have it.

[Kim Whitley]

Nope. You don't get none of the coochie back.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are there things that you would fight him over in the divorce? Like would you. Would you want the house or do you care?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, I'll keep the house.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. So you want all the cats? You want the house? The cats, yeah. He can have this Christmas decorations, right? Yeah, we want to keep him. Just to be spiteful.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, that's what. That's a good idea. I'll do that. Just to be spiteful.

[Shane]

Don't you think he wants the cats too?

[Sarah Colonna]

He does, but he can't have them. Well, sounds like.

[Kim Whitley]

Are they like expensive cats or alley cats?

[Sarah Colonna]

No, no, alley cats. Real alley cats.

[Jeff Lewis]

She just has an emotional attachment.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

To her animals.

[Kim Whitley]

Okay.

[Sarah Colonna]

Most people do, right?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes, I think so.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

I fight for my pets.

[Shane]

Are you giving up the house for the cats?

[Sarah Colonna]

I'm not giving up anything. Why do we.

[Jeff Lewis]

You don't have to.

[Sarah Colonna]

Getting a divorce.

[Jeff Lewis]

10 years.

[Kim Whitley]

She's given up the cat.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're tenured now.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, I'm tenured, Kim. Whatever that means.

[Kim Whitley]

You know what it means, girl.

[Jeff Lewis]

We're excited for you to remain married because I was worried he was going to pull the parachute right before the 10 year mark.

[Kim Whitley]

Really?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. Where does he go?

[Kim Whitley]

What does he have but her? He's amazing.

[Jeff Lewis]

He's a nice looking man.

[Kim Whitley]

No, I'm talking about these NFL players. He is successful, but you know, NFL players. What I feel like is that they're young, but they double in age because of the beating they take on the kids.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, he's handsome. My nose looks big in that photo though. I told him that. He said it doesn't, but it does.

[Kim Whitley]

But you're cheat as a button.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, thanks, girl. It was real humid there. In case anyone can't tell, would you.

[Jeff Lewis]

Fight for rainbow and butterfly?

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, I would fight for. You're right, absolutely. A rainbow and a butterfly.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you know Who Rainbow and Butterfly are. That's Ramon and Floyd. No, they're the ones that do the. The decorating at Christmas time.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, yes.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, right. Oh, yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

She calls them Rainbow. I mean, they do a beautiful job. I would fight for them in a divorce.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh. Oh, absolutely. Got it. That's not even up for please discussion.

[Sarah Colonna]

Are you gonna have a Christmas party?

[Kim Whitley]

I'm looking at your husband. Does he have friends? I didn't know your husband that was that cute.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, he's real handsome.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, I'm going. I'm going to come.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, well now you should have come to the party.

[Kim Whitley]

I'm coming to the party. The next party. I'm coming.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay. She was going to come, but. Yeah, she texted me.

[Jeff Lewis]

When's her next party?

[Sarah Colonna]

I don't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

There was a summer party.

[Sarah Colonna]

You're not coming.

[Jeff Lewis]

What are you talking about? Come on. Oh, because I've been mean lately.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, no, you can come. You can come to John's party.

[Kim Whitley]

No.

[Jeff Lewis]

What is the next party?

[Kim Whitley]

She said you all showed up. Yeah, at her party. They all showed up at my show.

[Sarah Colonna]

At your show.

[Kim Whitley]

Let's say they are disrupting.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know.

[Kim Whitley]

I've got it.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know. I know.

[Kim Whitley]

This group.

[Jeff Lewis]

I didn't understand the comedy. See, and here we are. I mean, I wouldn't call us friends, Sarah, but we're colleagues.

[Sarah Colonna]

We're friends. You love me. Absolutely.

[Kim Whitley]

I'm kidding.

[Jeff Lewis]

I didn't know in the comedy world that if you go to a friend's comedy show you do not sit in the front row. I did not know the rules, the protocol. I am sorry I fucked up.

[Sarah Colonna]

But you have a lot of comedian friends.

[Annie]

So many.

[Jeff Lewis]

But I've never gone to see. See any of them.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, right. That's right.

[Kim Whitley]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

Truly, I've never gotten to see any of them. So I bought 10 tickets right in the front row. I thought this would be great. So all the chumps were right along the front row.

[Kim Whitley]

Even Naked Annie.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, she said she goes. She goes. That Annie, she's always naked.

[Kim Whitley]

That's insane.

[Annie]

I'm in a button down in a sweater.

[Kim Whitley]

Because you knew I was coming.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Kim Whitley]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

So she is always showing her belly, right?

[Kim Whitley]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

But you don't want to sit up. Yeah, you don't sit up front like my parent. My mom is coming because I'm performing Springfield, Missouri, Springfield Comedy Club this weekend and it's a ticket. It's just a couple hours drive for them. So all my family's coming and I wrote the club and I said, don't put them Anywhere near the front.

[Kim Whitley]

Thank you.

[Sarah Colonna]

I don't want to look at my mom's face while I'm talking crazy, period.

[Jeff Lewis]

Fucked up.

[Kim Whitley]

But you know what? You all were good.

[Sarah Colonna]

But you guys are good laughers.

[Kim Whitley]

They're great laughter.

[Jeff Lewis]

Not according to Caroline Ray. No, not according to Caroline Ray.

[Kim Whitley]

Upset. Wait, you were laughing? They were. We were laughing.

[Jeff Lewis]

But I wasn't like. I mean, I was laughing. She made me laugh. She's funny.

[Annie]

Also in just events. He was sober. He was sober.

[Jeff Lewis]

And I was sick.

[Kim Whitley]

Wow.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

I was sober and sick. Okay, but.

[Annie]

Got you, baby.

[Sarah Colonna]

Just.

[Kim Whitley]

Okay.

[Sarah Colonna]

He wasn't drinking.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm going to tell you. You and Caroline, I'm. I really am sorry. I want to go again, but I'm going to sit. How far back do I have to sit?

[Sarah Colonna]

It's at the Ice House, right? Sit at the Improv at a different club. Thank you.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do I sit on the next. The front row of the next level now?

[Sarah Colonna]

No, no, no, no, no, Jeff.

[Annie]

We stand back at least three.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, why didn't you tell me that, Annie?

[Annie]

Because you bought the tickets before I could tell you anything. And when I heard. I don't sit in the front row at comedy shows. It's too much.

[Sarah Colonna]

Like a few. Just a few rows back, just like. Nobody wants to really see.

[Kim Whitley]

But I saw that you do crowd work a little bit. I see you break out of your. You know, watching you. I also do crowd work, and it's hard to do crowd work on your friends.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, you're right.

[Kim Whitley]

That's why.

[Sarah Colonna]

Because. Yeah. Then you try to act like you don't. You don't see them right to their face, and then you feel weird and you're like. Then they just get sweaty.

[Jeff Lewis]

But what was interesting is that you pivoted. So what? I. I liked you and Caroline together. I thought you guys were a great pairing because you came in incredibly animated storytelling. And Caroline, she's. She came for us.

[Kim Whitley]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Like, she. She did crowd work, but she had no fucking problem, like, coming for me and all the other chumps.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, that's funny.

[Jeff Lewis]

It was really funny.

[Kim Whitley]

I mean, she. She's.

[Jeff Lewis]

That said, though, I'm scared. I'm gonna sit next time.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. Yes, I know. I can't do. Yeah, that's. That's br. It's bold to go in on your. On people that you know.

[Kim Whitley]

That you know. And it's. It's difficult kind of, because, well, you.

[Sarah Colonna]

Want it to be natural like you want. When you do crowd work, you want it to be right. You want it to feel natural. So it feels like almost set up.

[Kim Whitley]

If you're doing it on people, you know, there's a guy I slept with, and I'm like, yeah, and. Yeah. Remember that time? I'm like, oh, yeah, that's right. You're telling your business. Especially if they have big feet and Jeff has big feet, so there's that whole thing. Do you have big feature? I don't know. Look at him.

[Jeff Lewis]

Can I ask you, why did Caroline Rae dress as a Vegas showgirl when she was here? Did you.

[Kim Whitley]

That's right.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did you trick her somehow?

[Kim Whitley]

We were going to Vegas to do Jimmy Kimmel together, and I think I said something. It got. That's why you don't text.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh.

[Kim Whitley]

I think in the text message, it got, we're going to Jeff Lewis wear a Vegas outfit. Because she yelled at me. She said, I thought we were gonna be showgirls. And I was like, she was dressed as a.

[Sarah Colonna]

You set her up. You did that on purpose.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you weren't telling her, wear something to wear to Vegas. Yeah, like you're going to Vegas after the show.

[Kim Whitley]

Do a show. Something got mixed up because then she wore. No, she literally wore a Vegas showgirl.

[Jeff Lewis]

Outfit without the hedge, without the head, and was confused that she wasn't dressed that way.

[Sarah Colonna]

Right. No, I remember I was here that day because I saw you guys come in, and I was.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you were traveling that day?

[Kim Whitley]

Yes, we were on our way.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you were just like, wear something to travel to Vegas?

[Kim Whitley]

I don't know what I said, but it got. I got in trouble.

[Sarah Colonna]

I feel like that's something you change into once you get to Vegas.

[Annie]

Right.

[Sarah Colonna]

Like most of people.

[Kim Whitley]

I don't want to wear it with Jason.

[Shane]

No.

[Kim Whitley]

No, you don't want.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, of course she would wear it. Do you hear what she said? She goes, I'd wear it naked.

[Sarah Colonna]

Annie would wear it.

[Annie]

I'll wear it tomorrow.

[Kim Whitley]

Annie's very conservative today.

[Annie]

Yes, of course.

[Kim Whitley]

Heartbreak.

[Annie]

You're here.

[Kim Whitley]

I knew it. I'm gonna stop that body shaming that I do. You need to just go ahead and sue me and get.

[Annie]

I don't have a tan, so I don't want to show. When I have a tan, I show a lot of skin.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, why is that? You're white. It's supposed to be your color.

[Annie]

Why am I white?

[Kim Whitley]

No, you.

[Annie]

You can't just ask people why they're white.

[Kim Whitley]

You're not.

[Sarah Colonna]

I don't know.

[Kim Whitley]

I don't even know you. Look, you could not be white. But I don't Know if ice is around, huh? I'm white. You are white. Yes. That is. You're Caucasian, period. So why. So that's your color. You show. You be proud of that white skin.

[Annie]

Oh, I am proud. I am proud.

[Kim Whitley]

Okay. Damn it. I love being pale.

[Sarah Colonna]

We all just look a little bit better with a tan.

[Kim Whitley]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're sure?

[Annie]

I look thinner? I'm thinner with a tan.

[Sarah Colonna]

Thinner, yeah.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, that's a good idea. No, tan is better, but you gotta be careful with the sun.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, I heard after the Ice House, you became reacquainted with Miranda and Raven.

[Kim Whitley]

Yes. I couldn't believe he brought. He brought Raven, Simone and her wife, Miranda, and they. You know, I've been knowing her for years, but I didn't know her wife. And then they invited me on their podcast. We had a ball, and they kept asking me, are you a chump? Are you a chump? I was like, they are really friends with Jeff and them. Like, they were just showing off their little tightness, and I was like, a chump. And they explained it. Cause you've told me.

[Jeff Lewis]

I've explained it to you before.

[Kim Whitley]

And then they made me gay.

[Sarah Colonna]

She doesn't listen.

[Jeff Lewis]

They made you gay?

[Kim Whitley]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wait, I'm sorry. What? Congratulations.

[Kim Whitley]

Not made. No, no, no, no, no. On their podcast, they were like, kim, you're gonna come out the closet. I was like, what is the. I was like, what closet? Where is the closet? Oh, they were so hilarious. Because I liked Miranda's skin. Kind of like Annie's.

[Jeff Lewis]

She has gorgeous skin. Her skin.

[Kim Whitley]

There were no pores. And I accidentally said, can I lick your face?

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, so that's why they thought you were a lesbian.

[Sarah Colonna]

I can't imagine why.

[Kim Whitley]

Yeah, Lesbians. Okay. I heard that. Jameson. I knew that was Jameson. Yeah. So I'd never seen her skin like that.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know.

[Kim Whitley]

I was at the naacp. Another person. I was at the NAACP luncheon, and the young man, Tariq, that played the lead in that movie, him. Oh, my God.

[Jeff Lewis]

We heard something from Oscar behind the Mask.

[Kim Whitley]

Let me tell.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know who you talking about. And that's. Wow. That man is fine. Can we see him?

[Kim Whitley]

You go on my Instagram and see.

[Jeff Lewis]

Can we see him now?

[Shane]

Bring him in.

[Kim Whitley]

No. It shocked me that he's here. Bring him in. He's here. No, you. When he. You don't understand. He came on stage and I. You know how it stops? You like. I had never seen anything that chiseled.

[Sarah Colonna]

Wow.

[Kim Whitley]

And beautiful and tall, and I wasn't ready. They were filming and he. I turned around and he put it on his Instagram too. My mouth is open. I looked at his face and I was like, he was gorgeous. He was 12 years old. Probably, but.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you're horny?

[Kim Whitley]

No, I'm a. I mean, no, I'm not. Sorry. It's a habit. It's a habit.

[Sarah Colonna]

I heard. We know what happened. You told me in the green room, right?

[Kim Whitley]

I did, I did. But I'm not. What it is is I love people. And either I love people. Good looking, pansexual. No, not. I'm not a pan. Cause I don't know what that.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, that guy is.

[Kim Whitley]

Look at him.

[Jeff Lewis]

Annie. Don't put words in her mouth.

[Kim Whitley]

Annie. You stop it. No, I don't want to have. But I love to look at the different. I'm an artist. I just like.

[Jeff Lewis]

You like attractive people.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, you don't want to have sex with them. You don't want to have sex with that man.

[Kim Whitley]

Not. Not. Not. No. No. I would get arrested. Chris Hansen will come out and ask about my emails.

[Jeff Lewis]

He's on the show. He's a chump.

[Kim Whitley]

Great.

[Sarah Colonna]

Chris Hansen. Is he.

[Jeff Lewis]

He's a chump.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh my God, I love Chris Hansen.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, we should have you on with Chris Hansen.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, yeah. I love Chris. I stalk him. I like Chris. I didn't write those emails.

[Jeff Lewis]

I really think we should get Rainbow and Butterfly on this show.

[Shane]

Oh, they sound really fun.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are they a good time?

[Kim Whitley]

They are hilarious. That Dag on. Look at the. Who is that next to him? Yeah. I can't. That's not even y'. All.

[Sarah Colonna]

Now we're just scrolling photos of his Instagram Jameson's.

[Kim Whitley]

No, you don't understand. This young man is so gorgeous and you know, and I should have told.

[Jeff Lewis]

We're gonna spend half the show on this guy.

[Kim Whitley]

No, you're right.

[Jeff Lewis]

How old is he?

[Shane]

We've spent it on worse.

[Kim Whitley]

I don't. We have. Look at that. Is that his body Pokemon. Whoa.

[Shane]

He needs to be a child.

[Sarah Colonna]

I think he might want to have sex. I'm just saying. Not with him. I'm just saying in general.

[Kim Whitley]

His father maybe.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay.

[Kim Whitley]

I did ask him.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, he's probably got an attractive father. If he looks like that.

[Kim Whitley]

I think he probably has an attractive daddy. I can't even pull up. But how did we get onto that?

[Sarah Colonna]

I don't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

You don't like men with soft hands. I heard.

[Kim Whitley]

Who is in my business.

[Jeff Lewis]

Kid, Kid.

[Kim Whitley]

I'm about sick of him. I don't. Cause then now it's a woman touching Me a little. Their hands to feel kind of like mine a little. No. Do you know the funniest thing? I have never told anyone that this has happened. I'm good friends with Stevie Wonder and his wife Tamika. So Stevie. I was over there, house a little party. Do you know? Stevie came to me. It was the funniest thing. So it was three women. I was in the middle. He touched, you know, he's touching their hands. I swear, you know, he was like. He said, hey, Kim. He said, why your hands feel like you're fixing cars? I never thought about that. Because he. He's. That's can't. He's touching and maybe.

[Jeff Lewis]

He's probably very sensitive, right?

[Kim Whitley]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

His other senses are heightened.

[Kim Whitley]

Yeah. I need a hand transplant. To girl hands.

[Jeff Lewis]

Or maybe just some lotion.

[Kim Whitley]

That's a thought.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now what if. So we have. I still can't get over this guy. We have this window door guy, right? He's really good at his. And he's like a masculine dude.

[Shane]

Totally.

[Kim Whitley]

What's a window door guy?

[Jeff Lewis]

He like sells us window. He puts on our windows.

[Kim Whitley]

I'm glad you told me. I'm gonna spit this. What? That's what he does.

[Jeff Lewis]

But he has the highest voice you have ever heard on a man. Kim.

[Kim Whitley]

No, impossible. Hey, Shane. I can come by today and measure for the windows if you'd like.

[Jeff Lewis]

It is the craziest thing. It's like, I feel like I look around for hidden cameras.

[Sarah Colonna]

It's like a Mickey Mouse or something.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's the craziest thing, right?

[Shane]

Oh, totally. 100%.

[Kim Whitley]

It's like, hey, okay, so if I come on Thursday, another man I could never sleep with. Could you imagine?

[Shane]

And so we were bringing him to a new job, and I was. Jeff, you're gonna have to have a conversation with him face to face.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't think I can without laughing.

[Kim Whitley]

Wait, wait. Is he good looking?

[Jeff Lewis]

Is he good looking? He's mad at.

[Shane]

I mean, he's fine. He's just like a man.

[Kim Whitley]

What's wrong with a man with a high voice?

[Jeff Lewis]

James, it's higher than yours. Really? It is higher than yours.

[Shane]

I gotta hang out with this dude.

[Jeff Lewis]

I never thought in a million years that we would find a man with a higher voice than yours.

[Kim Whitley]

Wow. Now I need you to interview him and talk to him. Cause what if he had? He was like, you know, I used to have a deep voice, but then I got nodules and then it went up. So we gotta fight. It could have been a medical thing.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, maybe it is. And you're judging Shane.

[Kim Whitley]

Shane isn't gay.

[Jeff Lewis]

Making fun of him. He's not gay.

[Shane]

He's not.

[Jeff Lewis]

He's a dude.

[Annie]

How tall is he?

[Kim Whitley]

He's little and he's out of control.

[Jeff Lewis]

So how tall is he? Why are you.

[Kim Whitley]

He's like from the wizard of Oz.

[Annie]

Oh, I'm just trying to figure out why his voice is.

[Jeff Lewis]

It might be medical. You're right.

[Kim Whitley]

It could be the wizard of Oz kind of thing. He's like little. Little. Maybe he has a little.

[Shane]

Little guys.

[Annie]

He has childhood trauma and then that makes your voice sound.

[Kim Whitley]

It could be a medical thing. It could be a medical. Let's go with that. Yeah.

[Annie]

You stop developing a deep voice.

[Jeff Lewis]

We haven't given the benefit of the doubt and. But who's gonna. We're not gonna ask him. Why's your voice so high?

[Shane]

No, you can't.

[Sarah Colonna]

I'll ask him.

[Kim Whitley]

I will.

[Sarah Colonna]

But you know what do you find.

[Jeff Lewis]

That when I talk to him on the phone, I actually even overcompensate and go deeper because I get so self conscious. I'm like, God, I hope my voice isn't that high. And then you talk even deeper.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did you do that too, Shane?

[Shane]

Oh, no. I love to queen out with him. I'm fine up here with him. But you do. You're like, oh yeah, if it's a. If it's a eight by five, maybe.

[Sarah Colonna]

You'Re like hoping when you do it that his voice will lower along with yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

I talk like Rick Leventhal.

[Annie]

Maybe he's choosing to talk like that because you guys talk like that.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, he's.

[Shane]

He's trying to be an ally.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, I don't think. No, there's. There's something different, something wrong.

[Kim Whitley]

Have you ever looked at Jeff and wanted to do it? Isn't he just handsome? I just want. I was looking at him and I was like, have you ever felt like. I felt like before you were married.

[Jeff Lewis]

She has not.

[Kim Whitley]

You had to.

[Jeff Lewis]

I sense she's been married.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Kim Whitley]

Have you said it? Have you?

[Jeff Lewis]

All the time.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. It's all about.

[Kim Whitley]

Uhuh.

[Jeff Lewis]

I can tell.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, I don't feel bad.

[Jeff Lewis]

She stares at me a little too long.

[Kim Whitley]

Yeah. Oh, I've used you several nights in my bedroom.

[Sarah Colonna]

I listen to this show with one hand.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh God, we're both gonna get sued. Jesus. We damn sexual harass the man on his show.

[Annie]

He likes that.

[Jeff Lewis]

I do. Now let me ask you this, Joshua, he's 15 now. And when do we start, like getting in behind the wheel?

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, no. No. Nope. No driving. These kids, they're not millenniums. What are they this year, these times?

[Jeff Lewis]

Millenniums.

[Kim Whitley]

X, Y's, Whatever they are. Whatever the kids are. Yeah. Huh.

[Annie]

Isn't he Jen A.

[Kim Whitley]

Is that.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh.

[Sarah Colonna]

Jen A.

[Kim Whitley]

J. Yeah, I think they don't love to drive. They want to Uber. They're not asking to drive. Who's not the other guy?

[Jeff Lewis]

That's my daughter. She said nobody drives anymore. That's what she told me.

[Kim Whitley]

She's a baby, though.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's nine.

[Kim Whitley]

She's not.

[Shane]

No, she's Jenna.

[Jeff Lewis]

But she's Jenna. And Joshua's Jenna.

[Shane]

2010 to 2024 is Jenna.

[Kim Whitley]

It was 2011. The gen.

[Jeff Lewis]

Does he want to drive or does he care?

[Kim Whitley]

I don't think he wants to drive. It's crazy. These kids, they don't have to. They've been taking places, this Uber thing. So in order. That's stressful to learn. And they said, wait till your. Until your child ask to learn to drive. Don't force them. Don't say, you got to start driving. A lot of parents do because they need. They're like, I'm tired of taking.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes, exactly.

[Kim Whitley]

But they said, you gotta wait until they ask. I have friends. Children are in college, and they don't know how to drive.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm afraid Monroe's never gonna ask. Just never.

[Sarah Colonna]

Cause I don't know if they'll come. I don't know if it'll ever turn back. You know, sometimes it'll be like, oh, cool again to start driving. But I don't think it'll ever turn back because there's just more and more ways to get around.

[Kim Whitley]

But you could start with a golf cart. That's what I did. Went to Palm Springs, and my friend had a golf cart, and it kind of got interested. And so he'll drive that and then take him to the. You know, speed racing. Those things go. Kart places.

[Jeff Lewis]

We did that at Disneyland.

[Kim Whitley]

So did she have fun doing it?

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, I drove. Per usual. Per usual. I drove her.

[Shane]

You have to let Princess. She's not going to give that up.

[Kim Whitley]

You have to let her drive so she can feel the power.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's true that you make Joshua sit in the back seat.

[Kim Whitley]

You know what? This is you. This is the thing. There's a law. Okay, listen. If the kid. Okay, he doesn't. The thing is this. If a child never knows that they can sit in the front, they don't know the law. Why would he. I don't need him in the front seat. I have to put My purse. Somewhere in my snacks.

[Shane]

He has an ass.

[Kim Whitley]

Fighting for the front seat because he has an ass.

[Sarah Colonna]

Does he ever go by other cars and sees that other people are in the front?

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, no. I said, you're still too young.

[Annie]

Maybe he wants to be on his phone.

[Kim Whitley]

He doesn't know the law. He doesn't know. He could have been up there years ago.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, so you're telling him you legally cannot be in the front seat?

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, I just told him there's a law that came out that said these kids have to be in a booster seat until they're like, 16. It's a new law in California. Wait, I'm telling you.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you have Joshua in a booster seat?

[Kim Whitley]

Be quiet.

[Jeff Lewis]

You have your 15 year old in a booster seat.

[Kim Whitley]

There is a law. If I get pulled over, he has to sit in a booster seat. He doesn't like it.

[Jeff Lewis]

That is not true.

[Kim Whitley]

Somebody Google.

[Jeff Lewis]

Somebody Google it. I think they can get out at like 8.

[Sarah Colonna]

There's no way. We have some really stupid laws. But that can't be one of them.

[Kim Whitley]

At the booster seat. The girl told me.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't think so. I think at 15 he can get out of the booster seat.

[Sarah Colonna]

I think so. I think after.

[Jeff Lewis]

Can somebody look it up, please? It's a meme. It's not real. It's a meme.

[Sarah Colonna]

You have to be eight years old or four, nine.

[Shane]

I'm assuming he's taller than four, nine.

[Kim Whitley]

I can't stand. Jackson.

[Jeff Lewis]

Welcome to the club.

[Kim Whitley]

Okay. Oh, okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

So he can. He does not need a booster seat.

[Kim Whitley]

He doesn't listen to your show. Ha ha. So he won't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

Is it safe to have. How tall is he?

[Kim Whitley]

He's my height. He's about five, nine and a half.

[Sarah Colonna]

If you put him on a booster seat, doesn't his head hit the roof of the car?

[Kim Whitley]

He was uncomfortable, but he's thin, so he fit in the. Okay, okay. I will let him sit in the front. I don't like it. I'm always afraid that that airbag or something happens.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know what you mean. I know what you mean.

[Kim Whitley]

He's 15.

[Sarah Colonna]

Does Monroe sit in the front?

[Jeff Lewis]

Once in a while on a short drive, I'll let her sit in the front. But then I start getting word about those airbags, and I think, she's so little, those airbags could really do some damage. So then I put her in the back seat.

[Sarah Colonna]

When I did driver's education, I'll never.

[Jeff Lewis]

Forget the teacher said, and what's the seat next to the driver?

[Shane]

And we all sit, say, passenger. And he said, no, it's the death seat.

[Jeff Lewis]

If you're in that seat, you're dying.

[Sarah Colonna]

And we were all, oh, my God.

[Jeff Lewis]

What?

[Sarah Colonna]

What?

[Shane]

Well, because I think accidents happen.

[Sarah Colonna]

And then, you know.

[Jeff Lewis]

Shane, you need to sit in the back now.

[Shane]

Yeah, I do.

[Sarah Colonna]

You can just tell your son, get.

[Shane]

Out of the death seat.

[Kim Whitley]

I'm. I'm gonna. I'm gonna.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, and you need a.

[Jeff Lewis]

We need to get you in a booster.

[Shane]

The s. Class is so comfortable in the back.

[Kim Whitley]

I don't care.

[Annie]

I can, like, lay down.

[Shane]

Literally.

[Sarah Colonna]

You have to just tell him that it can. That it's the death seat. And then he won't want to sit there because now I want to sit in the back.

[Kim Whitley]

I do say drugs will kill because you just start going to high school. So I do say that. I said death.

[Annie]

Which ones?

[Kim Whitley]

All of them. I said, if you go in the bathroom when you see the kids, do not do drugs.

[Jeff Lewis]

No drugs. Annie.

[Kim Whitley]

It will kill you if you say that to a child. Because an adult told me his mother did that. And he said it saved me because she was like, death. If you do a drug, you die.

[Sarah Colonna]

Have him read. Do you remember Sweet Valley High?

[Kim Whitley]

No.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, those books were really good. And that girl, Regina, she did cocaine at a party, and it stopped her heart, and she died. And that kept me from doing cocaine until my twenties.

[Kim Whitley]

Until the twenties. You know what? I was listening to you. I was taking notes. Sarah, you're worthless. You are horrible till you're twenties.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now you have an unusual punishment. When Joshua steps out of line. How do you punish him?

[Kim Whitley]

Wait, which one? Chase him around with peanut butter. Oh, wait, What? I'm sorry. He's allergic to peanut butter. I'm sorry. Is that the worst? Okay, what was something I did? 15 year old on a booster seat getting peanut butter. I used to, but it was horrible. I would put peanut butter on my finger. I probably should be in jail right now. And I would say, don't do it again. And I run around the house with peanut butter. He's like, you know, I'm allergic. But no, he has to. This is black mama stuff he has to do. Matter of fact, yesterday, he has to do pushups. He has to run around, like, give me some laps.

[Jeff Lewis]

Laps on the tennis court.

[Kim Whitley]

On the tennis court. I didn't want to say it, but if you have one. He has to do laps on the tennis court. He has to do push ups and sit ups. All the things he has to wear. He had to do them yesterday. What did he do I have to. Yes. Do push ups and sit ups?

[Jeff Lewis]

No, but what did he do to get the punishment?

[Kim Whitley]

Leaving dishes and trash and, like, a cup of noodle soup right there on the table, watching tv. He doesn't put anything away that. Just trying to remind him to put your dishes in the sink or wash them. Put your trash up. No one is. Is running behind you. And I couldn't take it. I was like, how do I teach him? And I said, every time you do that, you have to give me 50 push ups, jumping jacks, everything.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm having a little issue with that. Leaving. Because she's like, me. She's five drinks, and they just all left on the coffee table. I'm like, hello, who's picking this up? And then she'll leave her shoes and she'll put them on the island, which makes me nuts. And then she'll leave sweaters. She does that too. But I don't punish her. I just tell her to do it and then she'll do it. But I'm sick of telling her every day.

[Sarah Colonna]

Just tell him it's illegal. Just tell him it's illegal like you do with the car thing. Yeah, he sounds like. Sounds like not that smart.

[Kim Whitley]

Like he might believe you. I can't. I can't. I have to make sure he's brilliant.

[Jeff Lewis]

But I have the same issue with my other kids because yesterday.

[Shane]

What are you talking about?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yesterday there were two used glasses sitting on the. On the countertop next to the sink. And did you hear me when I made the announcement? I'm like, okay, thanks for leaving your glasses here, guys. So that's what I want to do. I want to do your dishes. So I don't know which two of the seven, but of course no one says a word. But there were two glasses left out. Put them in the dishwasher. You made it all the way to the sink.

[Kim Whitley]

So no one came and got.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't know who it was. It's either Kean, Annie, Shane, Justin Bieber.

[Sarah Colonna]

Who else?

[Annie]

I vividly remember getting the sponge and wiping my lipstick off a cup and being like, g, this is so annoying. And then, like, putting it in the dishwasher washer. So it wasn't me yesterday.

[Kim Whitley]

Okay, but you should. Oh, maybe you should tell baby girl that she has to live by example. And you say, if you put things up, Daddy will learn. It will help everyone in the house. Because, you know girls, they like to. Oh, I'm going to show them. Yeah, they're gonna. I'm gonna teach Daddy I love classes.

[Jeff Lewis]

I put her to work last week because she was home sick all week with that superfluous. So I said, hey, you need to do daddy a favor. I said, since I'm gone, I want you to keep an eye on all the employees. And I want to know who's talking, who's working.

[Annie]

She was a little rat last week.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh wow. It was.

[Shane]

She took notes.

[Jeff Lewis]

She took notes.

[Kim Whitley]

No, she did not. She thought she was on Traders.

[Jeff Lewis]

What is that?

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh my God, that is hilarious.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, she was so funny. So I called and I called her nanny and I said, hey, how's she doing? What's her temperature? The whole thing. She goes, well, she's in her playroom, she's writing notes. And I go, oh, what's she writing? Writing? She goes, she won't tell me what they are. I go, can I speak to her? And so I get her on the phone, you remember? And she's like, daddy. Okay, so I've been writing, I've been writing down notes. Justin keeps talking. He keeps coming out. He's been talking to so and so for this many minutes. And so and so for that I go, thank you so much, Monroe. I said, you're my mole. I said, keep, keep an eye on him.

[Kim Whitley]

This is hilarious.

[Jeff Lewis]

Uh huh. So she was keeping track of everybody left.

[Shane]

She loved it. I mean she, she's a chismosta. She will gossip, she will tell, she'll do whatever she camp.

[Annie]

No, literally, whenever I hit the curb before you even got the door open, she's like, annie crashed her car.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, what's going on with the tires?

[Annie]

I just got an email that they came in, so I'm going tomorrow after work tomorrow night.

[Jeff Lewis]

She ran into a curb in front of my house. Yes. And popped her tire. So then they told her that she actually needed two tires. Thank God. Cuz the other.

[Annie]

It happened for me because then when I went in, they're like, first of all, you ordered the wrong size tire so we can't install it. But also you need to get another tire because the other one has exposed wires and you're gonna have a blow.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, wow.

[Annie]

So it was like the universe was protecting me.

[Kim Whitley]

Really? Didn't protect you from that curve though.

[Jeff Lewis]

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[Kim Whitley]

Yes, everyone, if you'd like to see me live. I don't know what that voice is. I'll be in Texas, Dallas area, the Arlington Improv. March 5th and 7th. I mean March 5th through 7th. Then I go to Cleveland, March 27th, 28th at the Funny Bone in Cleveland. And there's a lot of other dates and iamkimwhitley.com is. Or my Instagram, anything. What about you, Sarah?

[Sarah Colonna]

I'm gonna do them after the next break.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh that's.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. But so for the. Oh, for the day. But you have other shows. So for the dates. Yes, the cities, the dates, the venues, the tickets. You go to I kmkimwhitley.com yeah, k y m K Y M K Y M. But then. Okay, so you said you were going to.

[Kim Whitley]

I'll go to Arlington March 5th through 7th and then March 27th through 8th I'm in Cleveland, Ohio at the Funny Bow. And then I go to April 27th I'm in Louisville, Kentucky April 17th, 17th and I don't have my glasses.

[Jeff Lewis]

I got you, Sarah. Would you just grab it?

[Sarah Colonna]

April 17th you can see her in Louisville, Kentucky, May 8th through 9th in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Plus shows through May around America. America. Tickets at I am Kim kymwhitley.com well.

[Jeff Lewis]

Thank God for Sarah.

[Kim Whitley]

Yeah, thank you. And what? And I am up for an NAACP Image Award. Please everyone go [e-mail] and go to special variety show and I hosted HBCU Honors and click on that. Well, voting ends next on Friday.

[Jeff Lewis]

It depends who are the other contenders?

[Kim Whitley]

Why does it pit?

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, I want to know before I vote.

[Kim Whitley]

No, you look for my face.

[Jeff Lewis]

Who else is.

[Kim Whitley]

I mean, okay, there's some.

[Jeff Lewis]

Who else is nominated name?

[Kim Whitley]

I think Kevin Hart.

[Jeff Lewis]

Because if that.

[Shane]

Oh, I love Kevin.

[Jeff Lewis]

Was that good looking guy not. I love Kevin Hart. He's very funny funny.

[Kim Whitley]

Hey, all right.

[Jeff Lewis]

So if we want to vote for Kevin Height. Where do. Where do we go? Kevin Hart. Where do we go?

[Sarah Colonna]

Kevin hart.com I think.

[Kim Whitley]

Yes, over there.

[Shane]

I am Kevin Hart.

[Sarah Colonna]

H A R T I believe. Where do we see.

[Kim Whitley]

Has Kevin Hart been here?

[Jeff Lewis]

Not yet. But where do we see. Where do we see him and get.

[Kim Whitley]

Tickets you'll to go to Kim Whitley. What the heck?

[Sarah Colonna]

Kevin is so funny live. Have you ever seen him?

[Shane]

He should do a show with Caroline Bray.

[Kim Whitley]

This is all. All I want to know is why does Oscar have a mask on? Let's just start saying got me in a petri dish. What is going on? I mean, I understand Jameson has a couple diseases, but what about. Why is Oscar okay?

[Jeff Lewis]

It's just detention. He's fine.

[Kim Whitley]

Okay. You're okay.

[Shane]

Called.

[Jeff Lewis]

He's cute with that mask on.

[Kim Whitley]

I'm not laughing, Oscar.

[Jeff Lewis]

You know why his eyes pop?

[Annie]

He has beautiful eyes and they match.

[Jeff Lewis]

The mask.

[Shane]

The mask.

[Kim Whitley]

Honestly, what it is.

[Jeff Lewis]

You should wear that mask all the time.

[Shane]

Really cute.

[Jeff Lewis]

Look how cute he is with the mask.

[Kim Whitley]

But he has a good smile too. But he has great hair.

[Annie]

Let's not go overboard.

[Kim Whitley]

It's silky.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did you hear her back there?

[Sarah Colonna]

What the shit store?

[Annie]

You love me. You love me, queen.

[Kim Whitley]

I do. Look at at him. He's cute though. Thank you. You ever had a black girl?

[Sarah Colonna]

I have actually.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Kim Whitley]

Boy. You. You boy is killing me over there. Like. Yeah, I. She's probably detector determined.

[Jeff Lewis]

That was a lie.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, I love coming on this show. Oh my goodness, y' all are silly. Sarah, what you been doing? Okay, sorry.

[Jeff Lewis]

I want to ask you about your dogs.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you are obsessed and love your dogs.

[Kim Whitley]

Yes. Just like she likes her cats. I have a boxer and I have a terrier mix. And I got the terrier, you know, from an adoption, you know. Yeah, you. I really believe in that.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yes.

[Kim Whitley]

And then the boxer. I've always wanted a boxer. So I got him from Texas. So I didn't really get. I really believe. Have you seen these videos where you let the dog picks you the dog pick you?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes.

[Shane]

Yes.

[Kim Whitley]

So I've always done that. I remember when I first. Even if it's like a pet store or wherever, or adopt, I let the dog come to me and pick me up. Always been the best dog. My brother. My brother, my son wanted this other dog. And I was like, no, I want the chubby one. And the chubby one came to me. I don't know why. So I really love them because we're. Except the boxer. I love the boxer. But he did knock me in the pool, and I had to have surgery. That's a whole thing.

[Sarah Colonna]

What, like he jumped on you or something?

[Kim Whitley]

Yeah, you don't. You have to research your dogs. People don't understand. You have to research. I didn't know boxers were so, like, crazy and out of control. And he was six months old, and I was watering plants by the pool. My feet crossed, and I saw him coming. He came and he clipped me. And I went in the pool and I snapped my neck.

[Jeff Lewis]

What?

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, my God.

[Kim Whitley]

So I had to have emergency surgery because I didn't want to hit my head on the side. It was like the Jacuzzi part. And I went in and I came out like the ring. And this was so crazy. When I came out, I was like. It came out, had hair. No one was holding. But I got out the pool. It was 105 in the valley. I'm burning myself on the concrete because I can't get up. I can't stand up.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, no.

[Kim Whitley]

But I'm trying to get out the water. It was. I went through a lot, and then I reached my phone. That's why I keep the string on the phone, wherever it is. I pulled it and I just called the last person I talked to and I said, please come to the house. And I was able to get up, but I had spine surgery. Neck.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, you didn't call 911.

[Kim Whitley]

You know, I just forget that that's available.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you go in and you sit down. You let the puppies come to you and choose you.

[Kim Whitley]

Yes. Always have.

[Jeff Lewis]

I bet if Kevin Hart was in there, they would all go to Kevin Hart. And then how do we vote for Kevin Hart?

[Kim Whitley]

No, no, no. You go to Variety. Special Variety. How are you? Who's in charge of this? And you go to Variety. Special Variety.

[Jeff Lewis]

Let's see who the other contenders are.

[Kim Whitley]

And what's it called, which one it is under which categories? It's under Variety.

[Sarah Colonna]

Variety show or.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm not seeing that.

[Kim Whitley]

It is.

[Shane]

She made this up.

[Kim Whitley]

No, it's under Variety.

[Jeff Lewis]

And like, outstanding variety. Go to outstanding variety. Series or special?

[Kim Whitley]

Series or special? Outstanding Variety. And you look up me and you will see H. Can we all vote? You can vote, and I want you to vote.

[Shane]

What if we're white?

[Kim Whitley]

Like Annie Day? Because the voting is over on Friday. I don't know.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, there it is. Series or special? Right there.

[Shane]

Oh, great.

[Kim Whitley]

There I am in the middle. See that? 2,000. Is there a picture of me? Oh, we can have a picture. Oh, Jesus.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, one wonderful night.

[Kim Whitley]

That one. That's my. You both.

[Annie]

You should send in a picture.

[Kim Whitley]

Is there a picture?

[Jeff Lewis]

There's no picture of you.

[Kim Whitley]

There is no picture of me. I am on the picture somewhere.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't see you. Hbcu, they thought they had a better chance if they didn't use your.

[Kim Whitley]

Is that me in the corner or is that Shirley?

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, they're gonna get more votes. Cause you're off. Okay, so who is on the picture then? If it's not Kim Whitley.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, my gosh. That is, you know, David Banner.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, yeah.

[Kim Whitley]

Shirley Caesar.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes. I can't believe you got cut out.

[Kim Whitley]

I'm usually on there.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's so crazy. So they're asking you to promote it, yet they cut you off? They cut you out?

[Kim Whitley]

Well, I'm gonna be at the award show, and I. If we win, I am going up to get that award.

[Shane]

Yeah, you better push Dana Banner out of the way.

[Kim Whitley]

But you, I don't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

There's a lot of other good shows here to vote for.

[Kim Whitley]

No, there's not. You don't even know those people. Ali Siddiq is a comic witch. You don't know any of these people.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know. Oh, my. I've heard of them.

[Kim Whitley]

The BET Awards.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so who are you voting for then?

[Shane]

Probably The BET Awards. 2025. That was a spectacular program.

[Kim Whitley]

You have never even watched bet. You are so white, you don't even have it on your channel. Are you kidding?

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm gonna vote for Wicked. One wonderful night. Is that what you're voting for? Jameson, why is this attitude? I'm gay.

[Shane]

I have to.

[Kim Whitley]

Okay, that's true. You do.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. Wait a minute. I'll vote for you, Cam, because I want you to get one.

[Kim Whitley]

Thank you.

[Jeff Lewis]

Is anyone gonna vote for. It's HBCU Honors.

[Kim Whitley]

Historically Black College and Universities is an award show. I went to Fisk University.

[Annie]

Annie, was there a party?

[Kim Whitley]

What'd you say? Annie, you look like you date black. You better start speaking up.

[Annie]

I'll vote for you if I can figure out this website.

[Kim Whitley]

Say it.

[Annie]

Struggling, mama.

[Kim Whitley]

I love y'. All.

[Sarah Colonna]

I'm going to vote for you like five times.

[Jeff Lewis]

You know, I voter fry.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, you can.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't think it's going to be enough votes for you to win over Wicked and the BET Award. Kevin Hart Post Wicked is a shoe in. I'm so sorry.

[Kim Whitley]

Dang. I didn't see that.

[Sarah Colonna]

It was an honor to be nominated.

[Kim Whitley]

I voted. You see? You see my future boyfriend?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Kim Whitley]

Boom.

[Jeff Lewis]

You voted for.

[Kim Whitley]

For her.

[Shane]

Oh, he's doing it right now. I'm not.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, we're doing it right online. We're voting. All right. I wonder if the chumps could go. The problem is you can't navigate this thing.

[Annie]

Okay, we'll vote. We go together for you to receive your award and then we find men.

[Kim Whitley]

This is the problem. Oh, you'll go with her?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, she's gonna be half naked, dude.

[Kim Whitley]

I will take you out. Yeah. Do you understand? I will use you. Yeah. I will send you out her wingman. The wing woman.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Kim Whitley]

She will go out and I will snatch up her left hand. Leftovers. Let's do it now.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you take the dogs to daycare?

[Kim Whitley]

No, I don't.

[Jeff Lewis]

Who watches them when you're gone?

[Kim Whitley]

I do Wags a lot. And I do Wags. Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's where we're gonna go.

[Kim Whitley]

No, no. Wags is a app. They come over and take care of your dog.

[Jeff Lewis]

We're going to Wag on Wag, right?

[Shane]

We're going to Wag on Wag.

[Kim Whitley]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

On Highland.

[Kim Whitley]

Okay. And in Valley, I go to Andy's.

[Sarah Colonna]

I'm a Wag.

[Jeff Lewis]

You go to Wag too?

[Annie]

Yeah. You are?

[Sarah Colonna]

No, I'm a Wag. It's called Wife and girl friend.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane]

It's like a sports.

[Sarah Colonna]

Sports thing. You wouldn't understand daycare.

[Kim Whitley]

I'm trying to take my daddy to daycare. The dogs, too. It's a lot going on in my.

[Jeff Lewis]

House with the dog, with the. We're taking Toby to Wag on Highland.

[Kim Whitley]

Okay. And then.

[Jeff Lewis]

But we're very excited because they have an indoor outdoor situation where the dog can go outside and lay in the sun at the Wag Kiki Beach.

[Kim Whitley]

Is that what it's called?

[Shane]

Cutest thing you've ever heard.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's adorable.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm gonna check it out.

[Shane]

I think I'm gonna go hang out there.

[Kim Whitley]

Do they have now I gotta see.

[Sarah Colonna]

Cause little like lawn chairs out there and stuff. Things for them to lay on. I don't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

There's mister's, there's everything oh, that's so cute. Yeah, Towel service, everything.

[Sarah Colonna]

Towel service.

[Kim Whitley]

Did you say no Cabana boys?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yep.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Kim Whitley]

Okay. For people that can't afford that, you can go to Andy's groomer in the. What in the world. They can lay out by the curb there. You can drive. Are you serious? Look. Who talks like that?

[Sarah Colonna]

You just tie em to a fire hydrant.

[Kim Whitley]

Yeah, but Andy's groomer is great. He gonna talk about. And then they have. And they bring their drinks and towels and they do their toes.

[Jeff Lewis]

You know, they're regular. They will do grooming services. They'll do overnights.

[Shane]

They'll do regular people nail trimming, shampoo.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, yeah, all of it. All of it.

[Sarah Colonna]

They can. And you can stay there when you're out of deep tissue machines.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, yeah. What about babysitting your animals?

[Jeff Lewis]

They will do that. But I. We're. We're just. I'd rather have people at the house with the dog.

[Kim Whitley]

Yeah, I do that also. I can. But you have little dogs, big dogs.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, I have one kind of. Is he kind of big? Medium.

[Shane]

He's like what, 35?

[Jeff Lewis]

Just have one dog, two cats and a kid.

[Kim Whitley]

Wow. Who is watching the property? Any dog going? Nothing?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes. Yeah, he's Toby. Oh, no, he's.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, Toby's good.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, he's good. He's a pretty good watchdog. What about your dog, the boxer?

[Kim Whitley]

It's that boxer. But he wasn't. It was the little one. But the boxer, I never took away his sack. And that's what. So now he's gotten really like. So I wanna do you fix your dog. You take the little. I gotta take those off. I don't want to.

[Jeff Lewis]

He got fixed when I got him.

[Kim Whitley]

I'm two years old.

[Jeff Lewis]

He's still got his sack.

[Kim Whitley]

That satisfy. I know I shouldn't, but I like looking at him. It's funny to me.

[Sarah Colonna]

I really do think you need to get laid.

[Kim Whitley]

No, not the dog balls. But I look at them, they're so funny to me. Cause they. Okay, it's wrong. I did say something that does look like I'm crazy.

[Sarah Colonna]

But you do want to get him fixed.

[Kim Whitley]

Because don't say like he looks weird when they're gone.

[Sarah Colonna]

Do they spray or anything?

[Jeff Lewis]

No, you're right.

[Kim Whitley]

They told the vet, said it's time. I just don't wanna put that cone on his head. I'm do it.

[Jeff Lewis]

I feel like he's my baby and I think the sacks would throw it off. You know what I mean? Like, I don't want to see balls On Toby.

[Sarah Colonna]

No.

[Kim Whitley]

Okay, okay, you're right.

[Sarah Colonna]

You can get a soft cone. It's cute. They're like the soft cone.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, soft ones.

[Sarah Colonna]

Cute. Like a little.

[Kim Whitley]

You know what? Cause you said this. I am going to. Because I know my assistant is listening. Please. I got to get his Canonas. Kaninas.

[Sarah Colonna]

Cool.

[Kim Whitley]

Thank you. Honey. I gotta get those removed.

[Jeff Lewis]

And then, Sarah, can you promote your standup dates? You have a lot of dates on the next few months.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yes. Springfield, Missouri, this week. February 12th through 14th. The 20th in Chicago, 21st. St. Louis. 27th and 28th in Iowa. Emmetsburg and Clinton. 6th through 7th in Boston. That's March. March 26th through 28th, Appleton, Wisconsin. And April 10th and 11th, Arlington, Virginia. Saracolona.com.

[Jeff Lewis]

Great. And then also, if you want to vote for Kevin hart, go to aacp.org.

[Kim Whitley]

Now, I voted for you.

[Jeff Lewis]

How do you do it? Will you explain it to the chumps?

[Annie]

Google NAACP Vote. And then you go to the first link that comes up and then you vote for the outcome. Outstanding Variety series or special. There's not a picture of Kim. It's very confusing. It's the HBCU 2025 honorees that you vote for.

[Kim Whitley]

I'm gonna. Thank you. I'm gonna bring that up.

[Jeff Lewis]

You need to call them today.

[Kim Whitley]

Today fucked up that they asked you.

[Jeff Lewis]

To come here and promote it and your picture's not even on it.

[Kim Whitley]

You know what? I'm gonna bring it up.

[Sarah Colonna]

They want you to get on that website and let it choose.

[Kim Whitley]

Well, you know what? This week I am going to be on the Sher Shepard show. I forgot. That's right. Thursday. And then next week I'm going to do a Valentine special. I'm a fly out to go to Sherry's show, do a Valentine special, fly right back because I have a meeting at the school. And then next week I'm going back to New York and we're gonna do another show together.

[Jeff Lewis]

You and Sherry?

[Kim Whitley]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Why do you have a meeting at this school? What's going on with Joshua?

[Kim Whitley]

Well, you know, he.

[Jeff Lewis]

Push ups. It sounds like push ups and sit ups are coming his way.

[Kim Whitley]

Well, since it's a new school I'm gonna do. There's so many things I wanna talk about. We're going on the. We're gonna go out. I know Caroline will be ready, but I have to make her go do local spots like the Ice House.

[Sarah Colonna]

We're gonna go do local spots together.

[Jeff Lewis]

You should. I actually was thinking about it in the bathroom. I was telling Shane. You.

[Sarah Colonna]

We like each other I'm gonna make her go.

[Jeff Lewis]

So maybe when Caroline can't do it, ask Sarah.

[Sarah Colonna]

Do I have to wear a Vegas showgirl outfit?

[Kim Whitley]

Yes, please.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay. I've got a lot of them.

[Kim Whitley]

No, Sarah does not do comedy in town.

[Sarah Colonna]

So I'm always on the road. Cause I'm always on the road. And then when I get home, I do five shows in a week and I don't want to come. Go do like a few minutes at the, you know, at the local club. I used to all the time, but now Kim and I are gonna do it.

[Kim Whitley]

Yes. How do you work on new material?

[Sarah Colonna]

When I'm doing five hours a week on stage, I'll just do it. I just throw it in there. Yeah, I work it out in there.

[Kim Whitley]

Okay, that's fair.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, that's fair.

[Jeff Lewis]

I do want to promote our live show coming up in Phoenix. So it's. You go to phoenix.standuplive.com you've been to Stand up live in Phoenix?

[Shane]

No.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so we're doing a live show on Thursday, March 26th. It's Jeff Lewis live, hot to go. Right now. We have Doug Jameson, Shane Keyan, Patrick Pol, and then special guests Shannon Beador and Beverly d' Angelo will be joining.

[Shane]

I mean, that's.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you go to phoenix.standup live.com now for tickets. We have sold out of the VVIP, but we have VIP and then General admission still available.

[Shane]

Also, Todd is coming to do the pre show. I don't know if you mentioned that.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, you're. I didn't mention his name. Maybe I did that on purpose. I'm trying to sell tickets.

[Shane]

Oh, sorry.

[Kim Whitley]

Okay. That's hilarious.

[Jeff Lewis]

Thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Jeff Lewis Ladd every weekday on Sirius XM as well as the Jeff Lewis channel, exclusively on the SiriusXM app.

[Sarah Colonna]

A year ago, I'm pretty sure I made a baby on Valentine's Day. My cycles were confusing. My doctor didn't listen. My period app couldn't predict ovulation. We missed chances for months. If you want a baby and you're struggling, here's what I did. I got us a Mira hormone monitor. Mira tracks four key hormones like a lab from home and found my ovulation in minutes. Plus it also tracks hormone health and perimenopause. Get 20 off for Valentine's Day with code [e-mail] quick.

[Kim Whitley]

Choose a meal deal with McValue.

[Shane]

The five dollar McChicken meal deal. The six dollar McDouble meal deal or.

[Kim Whitley]

The new seven dollar Daily Double meal deal, each with its own small fries, drink and Four Piece McNuggets. There's actually no rush. I'm just excited for McDonald's for a limited time only.

[Jeff Lewis]

Prices and participation may vary. Not Valder McDelivery.