
Kym Whitley, Sarah Colonna, & Shane Douglas join Jeff Lewis in Los Angeles.
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Jeff Lewis
Amazon presents Jeff vs. Taco Truck Salsa.
Kim Whitley
Whether it's verde roja or the orange one, for Jeff, trying any salsa is like playing Russian roulette with a flamethrower. Luckily, Jeff saved with Amazon and stocked.
Jeff Lewis
Up on antacids, ginger tea and milk.
Kim Whitley
Habanero. More like habanero.
Jeff Lewis
Yes. Save the everyday with Amazon.
Kim Whitley
Adobe Acrobat Studio, your team's home base.
Jeff Lewis
Collaborate within a shared PDF space.
Kim Whitley
You've got your docs, your plans, your specs, and then invite the crew to build what's next.
Jeff Lewis
Talk up the teamwork. Here's an updated render.
Kim Whitley
They think that this design could be a contender. And when somebody wonders what's the next steps, AI helps you finish the rest. Bolts are tight now. Your plan's refined. Run a smoother business when you're on the line. Do that with aggrav. Learn more or at adobe.com dodatwithakrobat when you're Jeff Lewis, the drama never stops.
Jeff Lewis
Stop fucking apologizing. You're not making it any better. You're just reminding me how late we are. I know I'm specific. I know I'm a little high maintenance, which is why I tip really fucking well. I don't wanna start shit, but don't you really?
Kim Whitley
Okay. Really?
Sarah Colonna
Jeff Lewis has issues.
Jeff Lewis
Hey, welcome to Jeff Lewis Has Issues. In today's episode, Kim Whitley and Sarah Colonna join the show. We talk about Kim's nomination and her teenager's booster se. Plus, Sarah shares her list of items she'll keep if she gets divorced. Morning.
Kim Whitley
Good morning.
Jeff Lewis
Welcome back. You were at the super bowl this weekend.
Sarah Colonna
I was, yes.
Jeff Lewis
How was it?
Sarah Colonna
It was really fun.
Jeff Lewis
I didn't see any posts about the halftime show, though. You didn't post about it?
Sarah Colonna
Yeah, I did. On my stories.
Jeff Lewis
I have to tell you, we.
Sarah Colonna
It was really fun. A lot of dancing was happening.
Jeff Lewis
It's so crazy because I was never a Bad Bunny fan. I didn't even really know his music at all, but I really. I liked the show. I liked his music now too.
Sarah Colonna
I know I downloaded a bunch of it right after. I was like, this is. It was fun. It was a very fun, like dancing. And it just. I. I didn't watch. The other time I'd been to the super bowl was when John won. Or. Well, then actually they lost that one. But I didn't go. I didn't watch the halftime show. It was Katy Perry and Missy Elliott, and I didn't watch it because I.
Kim Whitley
Had to go get.
Sarah Colonna
That's when you go get drinks and go to the bathroom because everyone's in their seats.
Shane
Sorry, Katie.
Sarah Colonna
I know, but this time I was like, I made Jon go get me one, and then I stayed.
Jeff Lewis
Were you wearing some sort of, like, super bowl necklace of some kind?
Sarah Colonna
Yeah, I have a. I have a. I forgot to wear it today. I told Keon I would, and then I forgot it. But it's the top. It's the top of the ring.
Jeff Lewis
And Son is a former NFL player.
Sarah Colonna
Oh, she hasn't.
Kim Whitley
Yeah, I've been doing research on her shit.
Sarah Colonna
Yeah. And I learned some things about her in the green room.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, you did?
Sarah Colonna
Oh, yeah.
Kim Whitley
We've been chatting because I watched her stand up. But wait, let's get back to bad Bunn. I just got one quick question. Why didn't they put English subtitles? They know a lot of us can't speak Spanish. I wanted to know what he was saying. I mean, I got it in the field and I loved it, but I really wanted to. Now I don't know how to go back and figure out.
Jeff Lewis
We gotta translate it.
Sarah Colonna
I'll tell you what. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care.
Jeff Lewis
He's so good looking. I didn't care.
Sarah Colonna
It made me feel warm downstairs.
Kim Whitley
Really?
Sarah Colonna
Yeah.
Jeff Lewis
And it's been a while.
Kim Whitley
Yeah. What.
Sarah Colonna
Why did I agree with that?
Kim Whitley
It was fantastic. I love that. A good bunny. Bunny, bunny, bunny.
Jeff Lewis
So was.
Sarah Colonna
Was really fun. It was. Yeah. I. I mean, I had been like, I said to one before, and John obviously has never. He. He was, like, confused about sitting in the stands because he kept. He's like, wow, it takes a really long time to get a drink. I'm like, yeah, welcome to sitting in the stands, asshole. Like, this is what it's like for normal people. But he had so much fun.
Jeff Lewis
So he. His career was. How many years did he play?
Sarah Colonna
12 in the NFL and did.
Jeff Lewis
How many times he went to Super Bowl? At least once, right?
Sarah Colonna
Twice. Yeah.
Jeff Lewis
Twice.
Sarah Colonna
Yeah. So he won.
Jeff Lewis
He played in the super bowl twice.
Sarah Colonna
Yes, he won one.
Jeff Lewis
Is that crazy?
Sarah Colonna
And then the second year. But. So he has a ring. Yeah. And he's played twice.
Kim Whitley
And he has a great retirement plan.
Sarah Colonna
He does have a really good retirement plan.
Jeff Lewis
People don't know Sarah was walking around with that ring around her necklace. But on you, people probably thought it was fake, asshole.
Kim Whitley
I don't know. I believe him.
Sarah Colonna
What's wrong with you, Kim?
Kim Whitley
You know what? Cause I love Jeff.
Sarah Colonna
It's the top of the ring. So basically the ring ceremony, they gave him an option to buy that. So he got me one. His mom, his sisters. Very sweet. Yeah.
Kim Whitley
But you cut the ring off.
Sarah Colonna
Yeah, it's just the top. It's on a necklace instead.
Kim Whitley
You cut it. You cut. You cut it or you ordered it that way.
Sarah Colonna
You order it that way. It's just the top of the ring.
Kim Whitley
That's how ghetto I am. I was like, oh, they took it to the shop, they had to cut the ring.
Jeff Lewis
If you get divorced, would he want that back?
Sarah Colonna
No, no, he can't have it. Ten years, whatever you said. Right. Don't I get to keep whatever I want now?
Kim Whitley
Exactly.
Jeff Lewis
Yes, pretty much.
Sarah Colonna
You can't have it.
Kim Whitley
Nope. You don't get none of the coochie back.
Jeff Lewis
Are there things that you would fight him over in the divorce? Like would you. Would you want the house or do you care?
Sarah Colonna
Yeah, I'll keep the house.
Jeff Lewis
Okay. So you want all the cats? You want the house? The cats, yeah. He can have this Christmas decorations, right? Yeah, we want to keep him. Just to be spiteful.
Sarah Colonna
Oh, that's what. That's a good idea. I'll do that. Just to be spiteful.
Shane
Don't you think he wants the cats too?
Sarah Colonna
He does, but he can't have them. Well, sounds like.
Kim Whitley
Are they like expensive cats or alley cats?
Sarah Colonna
No, no, alley cats. Real alley cats.
Jeff Lewis
She just has an emotional attachment.
Sarah Colonna
Yeah.
Jeff Lewis
To her animals.
Kim Whitley
Okay.
Sarah Colonna
Most people do, right?
Jeff Lewis
Yes, I think so.
Sarah Colonna
Yeah.
Jeff Lewis
I fight for my pets.
Shane
Are you giving up the house for the cats?
Sarah Colonna
I'm not giving up anything. Why do we.
Jeff Lewis
You don't have to.
Sarah Colonna
Getting a divorce.
Jeff Lewis
10 years.
Kim Whitley
She's given up the cat.
Jeff Lewis
You're tenured now.
Sarah Colonna
Yeah, I'm tenured, Kim. Whatever that means.
Kim Whitley
You know what it means, girl.
Jeff Lewis
We're excited for you to remain married because I was worried he was going to pull the parachute right before the 10 year mark.
Kim Whitley
Really?
Jeff Lewis
Yeah. Where does he go?
Kim Whitley
What does he have but her? He's amazing.
Jeff Lewis
He's a nice looking man.
Kim Whitley
No, I'm talking about these NFL players. He is successful, but you know, NFL players. What I feel like is that they're young, but they double in age because of the beating they take on the kids.
Sarah Colonna
Yeah, he's handsome. My nose looks big in that photo though. I told him that. He said it doesn't, but it does.
Kim Whitley
But you're cheat as a button.
Sarah Colonna
Well, thanks, girl. It was real humid there. In case anyone can't tell, would you.
Jeff Lewis
Fight for rainbow and butterfly?
Kim Whitley
Oh, I would fight for. You're right, absolutely. A rainbow and a butterfly.
Jeff Lewis
Do you know Who Rainbow and Butterfly are. That's Ramon and Floyd. No, they're the ones that do the. The decorating at Christmas time.
Kim Whitley
Oh, yes.
Sarah Colonna
Oh, right. Oh, yes.
Jeff Lewis
She calls them Rainbow. I mean, they do a beautiful job. I would fight for them in a divorce.
Kim Whitley
Oh. Oh, absolutely. Got it. That's not even up for please discussion.
Sarah Colonna
Are you gonna have a Christmas party?
Kim Whitley
I'm looking at your husband. Does he have friends? I didn't know your husband that was that cute.
Sarah Colonna
Yeah, he's real handsome.
Kim Whitley
Oh, I'm going. I'm going to come.
Sarah Colonna
Yeah, well now you should have come to the party.
Kim Whitley
I'm coming to the party. The next party. I'm coming.
Sarah Colonna
Okay. She was going to come, but. Yeah, she texted me.
Jeff Lewis
When's her next party?
Sarah Colonna
I don't know.
Jeff Lewis
There was a summer party.
Sarah Colonna
You're not coming.
Jeff Lewis
What are you talking about? Come on. Oh, because I've been mean lately.
Sarah Colonna
No, no, you can come. You can come to John's party.
Kim Whitley
No.
Jeff Lewis
What is the next party?
Kim Whitley
She said you all showed up. Yeah, at her party. They all showed up at my show.
Sarah Colonna
At your show.
Kim Whitley
Let's say they are disrupting.
Jeff Lewis
I know.
Kim Whitley
I've got it.
Jeff Lewis
I know. I know.
Kim Whitley
This group.
Jeff Lewis
I didn't understand the comedy. See, and here we are. I mean, I wouldn't call us friends, Sarah, but we're colleagues.
Sarah Colonna
We're friends. You love me. Absolutely.
Kim Whitley
I'm kidding.
Jeff Lewis
I didn't know in the comedy world that if you go to a friend's comedy show you do not sit in the front row. I did not know the rules, the protocol. I am sorry I fucked up.
Sarah Colonna
But you have a lot of comedian friends.
Annie
So many.
Jeff Lewis
But I've never gone to see. See any of them.
Sarah Colonna
Oh, right. That's right.
Kim Whitley
Okay.
Jeff Lewis
Truly, I've never gotten to see any of them. So I bought 10 tickets right in the front row. I thought this would be great. So all the chumps were right along the front row.
Kim Whitley
Even Naked Annie.
Sarah Colonna
No, she said she goes. She goes. That Annie, she's always naked.
Kim Whitley
That's insane.
Annie
I'm in a button down in a sweater.
Kim Whitley
Because you knew I was coming.
Jeff Lewis
Yeah.
Kim Whitley
Yeah.
Jeff Lewis
So she is always showing her belly, right?
Kim Whitley
Yeah.
Sarah Colonna
But you don't want to sit up. Yeah, you don't sit up front like my parent. My mom is coming because I'm performing Springfield, Missouri, Springfield Comedy Club this weekend and it's a ticket. It's just a couple hours drive for them. So all my family's coming and I wrote the club and I said, don't put them Anywhere near the front.
Kim Whitley
Thank you.
Sarah Colonna
I don't want to look at my mom's face while I'm talking crazy, period.
Jeff Lewis
Fucked up.
Kim Whitley
But you know what? You all were good.
Sarah Colonna
But you guys are good laughers.
Kim Whitley
They're great laughter.
Jeff Lewis
Not according to Caroline Ray. No, not according to Caroline Ray.
Kim Whitley
Upset. Wait, you were laughing? They were. We were laughing.
Jeff Lewis
But I wasn't like. I mean, I was laughing. She made me laugh. She's funny.
Annie
Also in just events. He was sober. He was sober.
Jeff Lewis
And I was sick.
Kim Whitley
Wow.
Sarah Colonna
Okay.
Jeff Lewis
I was sober and sick. Okay, but.
Annie
Got you, baby.
Sarah Colonna
Just.
Kim Whitley
Okay.
Sarah Colonna
He wasn't drinking.
Jeff Lewis
I'm going to tell you. You and Caroline, I'm. I really am sorry. I want to go again, but I'm going to sit. How far back do I have to sit?
Sarah Colonna
It's at the Ice House, right? Sit at the Improv at a different club. Thank you.
Jeff Lewis
Do I sit on the next. The front row of the next level now?
Sarah Colonna
No, no, no, no, no, Jeff.
Annie
We stand back at least three.
Jeff Lewis
Well, why didn't you tell me that, Annie?
Annie
Because you bought the tickets before I could tell you anything. And when I heard. I don't sit in the front row at comedy shows. It's too much.
Sarah Colonna
Like a few. Just a few rows back, just like. Nobody wants to really see.
Kim Whitley
But I saw that you do crowd work a little bit. I see you break out of your. You know, watching you. I also do crowd work, and it's hard to do crowd work on your friends.
Sarah Colonna
Yeah.
Jeff Lewis
Yeah, you're right.
Kim Whitley
That's why.
Sarah Colonna
Because. Yeah. Then you try to act like you don't. You don't see them right to their face, and then you feel weird and you're like. Then they just get sweaty.
Jeff Lewis
But what was interesting is that you pivoted. So what? I. I liked you and Caroline together. I thought you guys were a great pairing because you came in incredibly animated storytelling. And Caroline, she's. She came for us.
Kim Whitley
Yes.
Jeff Lewis
Like, she. She did crowd work, but she had no fucking problem, like, coming for me and all the other chumps.
Sarah Colonna
Oh, that's funny.
Jeff Lewis
It was really funny.
Kim Whitley
I mean, she. She's.
Jeff Lewis
That said, though, I'm scared. I'm gonna sit next time.
Sarah Colonna
Yeah. Yes, I know. I can't do. Yeah, that's. That's br. It's bold to go in on your. On people that you know.
Kim Whitley
That you know. And it's. It's difficult kind of, because, well, you.
Sarah Colonna
Want it to be natural like you want. When you do crowd work, you want it to be right. You want it to feel natural. So it feels like almost set up.
Kim Whitley
If you're doing it on people, you know, there's a guy I slept with, and I'm like, yeah, and. Yeah. Remember that time? I'm like, oh, yeah, that's right. You're telling your business. Especially if they have big feet and Jeff has big feet, so there's that whole thing. Do you have big feature? I don't know. Look at him.
Jeff Lewis
Can I ask you, why did Caroline Rae dress as a Vegas showgirl when she was here? Did you.
Kim Whitley
That's right.
Jeff Lewis
Did you trick her somehow?
Kim Whitley
We were going to Vegas to do Jimmy Kimmel together, and I think I said something. It got. That's why you don't text.
Sarah Colonna
Oh.
Kim Whitley
I think in the text message, it got, we're going to Jeff Lewis wear a Vegas outfit. Because she yelled at me. She said, I thought we were gonna be showgirls. And I was like, she was dressed as a.
Sarah Colonna
You set her up. You did that on purpose.
Jeff Lewis
So you weren't telling her, wear something to wear to Vegas. Yeah, like you're going to Vegas after the show.
Kim Whitley
Do a show. Something got mixed up because then she wore. No, she literally wore a Vegas showgirl.
Jeff Lewis
Outfit without the hedge, without the head, and was confused that she wasn't dressed that way.
Sarah Colonna
Right. No, I remember I was here that day because I saw you guys come in, and I was.
Jeff Lewis
So you were traveling that day?
Kim Whitley
Yes, we were on our way.
Jeff Lewis
So you were just like, wear something to travel to Vegas?
Kim Whitley
I don't know what I said, but it got. I got in trouble.
Sarah Colonna
I feel like that's something you change into once you get to Vegas.
Annie
Right.
Sarah Colonna
Like most of people.
Kim Whitley
I don't want to wear it with Jason.
Shane
No.
Kim Whitley
No, you don't want.
Jeff Lewis
Yeah, of course she would wear it. Do you hear what she said? She goes, I'd wear it naked.
Sarah Colonna
Annie would wear it.
Annie
I'll wear it tomorrow.
Kim Whitley
Annie's very conservative today.
Annie
Yes, of course.
Kim Whitley
Heartbreak.
Annie
You're here.
Kim Whitley
I knew it. I'm gonna stop that body shaming that I do. You need to just go ahead and sue me and get.
Annie
I don't have a tan, so I don't want to show. When I have a tan, I show a lot of skin.
Kim Whitley
Oh, why is that? You're white. It's supposed to be your color.
Annie
Why am I white?
Kim Whitley
No, you.
Annie
You can't just ask people why they're white.
Kim Whitley
You're not.
Sarah Colonna
I don't know.
Kim Whitley
I don't even know you. Look, you could not be white. But I don't Know if ice is around, huh? I'm white. You are white. Yes. That is. You're Caucasian, period. So why. So that's your color. You show. You be proud of that white skin.
Annie
Oh, I am proud. I am proud.
Kim Whitley
Okay. Damn it. I love being pale.
Sarah Colonna
We all just look a little bit better with a tan.
Kim Whitley
Yeah.
Jeff Lewis
You're sure?
Annie
I look thinner? I'm thinner with a tan.
Sarah Colonna
Thinner, yeah.
Kim Whitley
Oh, that's a good idea. No, tan is better, but you gotta be careful with the sun.
Jeff Lewis
Now, I heard after the Ice House, you became reacquainted with Miranda and Raven.
Kim Whitley
Yes. I couldn't believe he brought. He brought Raven, Simone and her wife, Miranda, and they. You know, I've been knowing her for years, but I didn't know her wife. And then they invited me on their podcast. We had a ball, and they kept asking me, are you a chump? Are you a chump? I was like, they are really friends with Jeff and them. Like, they were just showing off their little tightness, and I was like, a chump. And they explained it. Cause you've told me.
Jeff Lewis
I've explained it to you before.
Kim Whitley
And then they made me gay.
Sarah Colonna
She doesn't listen.
Jeff Lewis
They made you gay?
Kim Whitley
Yes.
Jeff Lewis
Wait, I'm sorry. What? Congratulations.
Kim Whitley
Not made. No, no, no, no, no. On their podcast, they were like, kim, you're gonna come out the closet. I was like, what is the. I was like, what closet? Where is the closet? Oh, they were so hilarious. Because I liked Miranda's skin. Kind of like Annie's.
Jeff Lewis
She has gorgeous skin. Her skin.
Kim Whitley
There were no pores. And I accidentally said, can I lick your face?
Jeff Lewis
Oh, so that's why they thought you were a lesbian.
Sarah Colonna
I can't imagine why.
Kim Whitley
Yeah, Lesbians. Okay. I heard that. Jameson. I knew that was Jameson. Yeah. So I'd never seen her skin like that.
Jeff Lewis
I know.
Kim Whitley
I was at the naacp. Another person. I was at the NAACP luncheon, and the young man, Tariq, that played the lead in that movie, him. Oh, my God.
Jeff Lewis
We heard something from Oscar behind the Mask.
Kim Whitley
Let me tell.
Jeff Lewis
I know who you talking about. And that's. Wow. That man is fine. Can we see him?
Kim Whitley
You go on my Instagram and see.
Jeff Lewis
Can we see him now?
Shane
Bring him in.
Kim Whitley
No. It shocked me that he's here. Bring him in. He's here. No, you. When he. You don't understand. He came on stage and I. You know how it stops? You like. I had never seen anything that chiseled.
Sarah Colonna
Wow.
Kim Whitley
And beautiful and tall, and I wasn't ready. They were filming and he. I turned around and he put it on his Instagram too. My mouth is open. I looked at his face and I was like, he was gorgeous. He was 12 years old. Probably, but.
Jeff Lewis
So you're horny?
Kim Whitley
No, I'm a. I mean, no, I'm not. Sorry. It's a habit. It's a habit.
Sarah Colonna
I heard. We know what happened. You told me in the green room, right?
Kim Whitley
I did, I did. But I'm not. What it is is I love people. And either I love people. Good looking, pansexual. No, not. I'm not a pan. Cause I don't know what that.
Sarah Colonna
Oh, that guy is.
Kim Whitley
Look at him.
Jeff Lewis
Annie. Don't put words in her mouth.
Kim Whitley
Annie. You stop it. No, I don't want to have. But I love to look at the different. I'm an artist. I just like.
Jeff Lewis
You like attractive people.
Sarah Colonna
Well, you don't want to have sex with them. You don't want to have sex with that man.
Kim Whitley
Not. Not. Not. No. No. I would get arrested. Chris Hansen will come out and ask about my emails.
Jeff Lewis
He's on the show. He's a chump.
Kim Whitley
Great.
Sarah Colonna
Chris Hansen. Is he.
Jeff Lewis
He's a chump.
Kim Whitley
Oh my God, I love Chris Hansen.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, we should have you on with Chris Hansen.
Kim Whitley
Oh, yeah. I love Chris. I stalk him. I like Chris. I didn't write those emails.
Jeff Lewis
I really think we should get Rainbow and Butterfly on this show.
Shane
Oh, they sound really fun.
Kim Whitley
Oh, yeah.
Jeff Lewis
Are they a good time?
Kim Whitley
They are hilarious. That Dag on. Look at the. Who is that next to him? Yeah. I can't. That's not even y'. All.
Sarah Colonna
Now we're just scrolling photos of his Instagram Jameson's.
Kim Whitley
No, you don't understand. This young man is so gorgeous and you know, and I should have told.
Jeff Lewis
We're gonna spend half the show on this guy.
Kim Whitley
No, you're right.
Jeff Lewis
How old is he?
Shane
We've spent it on worse.
Kim Whitley
I don't. We have. Look at that. Is that his body Pokemon. Whoa.
Shane
He needs to be a child.
Sarah Colonna
I think he might want to have sex. I'm just saying. Not with him. I'm just saying in general.
Kim Whitley
His father maybe.
Sarah Colonna
Okay.
Kim Whitley
I did ask him.
Sarah Colonna
Well, he's probably got an attractive father. If he looks like that.
Kim Whitley
I think he probably has an attractive daddy. I can't even pull up. But how did we get onto that?
Sarah Colonna
I don't know.
Jeff Lewis
You don't like men with soft hands. I heard.
Kim Whitley
Who is in my business.
Jeff Lewis
Kid, Kid.
Kim Whitley
I'm about sick of him. I don't. Cause then now it's a woman touching Me a little. Their hands to feel kind of like mine a little. No. Do you know the funniest thing? I have never told anyone that this has happened. I'm good friends with Stevie Wonder and his wife Tamika. So Stevie. I was over there, house a little party. Do you know? Stevie came to me. It was the funniest thing. So it was three women. I was in the middle. He touched, you know, he's touching their hands. I swear, you know, he was like. He said, hey, Kim. He said, why your hands feel like you're fixing cars? I never thought about that. Because he. He's. That's can't. He's touching and maybe.
Jeff Lewis
He's probably very sensitive, right?
Kim Whitley
Yes.
Jeff Lewis
His other senses are heightened.
Kim Whitley
Yeah. I need a hand transplant. To girl hands.
Jeff Lewis
Or maybe just some lotion.
Kim Whitley
That's a thought.
Jeff Lewis
Now what if. So we have. I still can't get over this guy. We have this window door guy, right? He's really good at his. And he's like a masculine dude.
Shane
Totally.
Kim Whitley
What's a window door guy?
Jeff Lewis
He like sells us window. He puts on our windows.
Kim Whitley
I'm glad you told me. I'm gonna spit this. What? That's what he does.
Jeff Lewis
But he has the highest voice you have ever heard on a man. Kim.
Kim Whitley
No, impossible. Hey, Shane. I can come by today and measure for the windows if you'd like.
Jeff Lewis
It is the craziest thing. It's like, I feel like I look around for hidden cameras.
Sarah Colonna
It's like a Mickey Mouse or something.
Jeff Lewis
It's the craziest thing, right?
Shane
Oh, totally. 100%.
Kim Whitley
It's like, hey, okay, so if I come on Thursday, another man I could never sleep with. Could you imagine?
Shane
And so we were bringing him to a new job, and I was. Jeff, you're gonna have to have a conversation with him face to face.
Jeff Lewis
I don't think I can without laughing.
Kim Whitley
Wait, wait. Is he good looking?
Jeff Lewis
Is he good looking? He's mad at.
Shane
I mean, he's fine. He's just like a man.
Kim Whitley
What's wrong with a man with a high voice?
Jeff Lewis
James, it's higher than yours. Really? It is higher than yours.
Shane
I gotta hang out with this dude.
Jeff Lewis
I never thought in a million years that we would find a man with a higher voice than yours.
Kim Whitley
Wow. Now I need you to interview him and talk to him. Cause what if he had? He was like, you know, I used to have a deep voice, but then I got nodules and then it went up. So we gotta fight. It could have been a medical thing.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, maybe it is. And you're judging Shane.
Kim Whitley
Shane isn't gay.
Jeff Lewis
Making fun of him. He's not gay.
Shane
He's not.
Jeff Lewis
He's a dude.
Annie
How tall is he?
Kim Whitley
He's little and he's out of control.
Jeff Lewis
So how tall is he? Why are you.
Kim Whitley
He's like from the wizard of Oz.
Annie
Oh, I'm just trying to figure out why his voice is.
Jeff Lewis
It might be medical. You're right.
Kim Whitley
It could be the wizard of Oz kind of thing. He's like little. Little. Maybe he has a little.
Shane
Little guys.
Annie
He has childhood trauma and then that makes your voice sound.
Kim Whitley
It could be a medical thing. It could be a medical. Let's go with that. Yeah.
Annie
You stop developing a deep voice.
Jeff Lewis
We haven't given the benefit of the doubt and. But who's gonna. We're not gonna ask him. Why's your voice so high?
Shane
No, you can't.
Sarah Colonna
I'll ask him.
Kim Whitley
I will.
Sarah Colonna
But you know what do you find.
Jeff Lewis
That when I talk to him on the phone, I actually even overcompensate and go deeper because I get so self conscious. I'm like, God, I hope my voice isn't that high. And then you talk even deeper.
Sarah Colonna
Oh yeah, yeah.
Jeff Lewis
Did you do that too, Shane?
Shane
Oh, no. I love to queen out with him. I'm fine up here with him. But you do. You're like, oh yeah, if it's a. If it's a eight by five, maybe.
Sarah Colonna
You'Re like hoping when you do it that his voice will lower along with yes.
Jeff Lewis
I talk like Rick Leventhal.
Annie
Maybe he's choosing to talk like that because you guys talk like that.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, he's.
Shane
He's trying to be an ally.
Jeff Lewis
No, I don't think. No, there's. There's something different, something wrong.
Kim Whitley
Have you ever looked at Jeff and wanted to do it? Isn't he just handsome? I just want. I was looking at him and I was like, have you ever felt like. I felt like before you were married.
Jeff Lewis
She has not.
Kim Whitley
You had to.
Jeff Lewis
I sense she's been married.
Sarah Colonna
Yeah.
Kim Whitley
Have you said it? Have you?
Jeff Lewis
All the time.
Sarah Colonna
Yeah. It's all about.
Kim Whitley
Uhuh.
Jeff Lewis
I can tell.
Kim Whitley
Oh, I don't feel bad.
Jeff Lewis
She stares at me a little too long.
Kim Whitley
Yeah. Oh, I've used you several nights in my bedroom.
Sarah Colonna
I listen to this show with one hand.
Kim Whitley
Oh God, we're both gonna get sued. Jesus. We damn sexual harass the man on his show.
Annie
He likes that.
Jeff Lewis
I do. Now let me ask you this, Joshua, he's 15 now. And when do we start, like getting in behind the wheel?
Kim Whitley
Oh, no. No. Nope. No driving. These kids, they're not millenniums. What are they this year, these times?
Jeff Lewis
Millenniums.
Kim Whitley
X, Y's, Whatever they are. Whatever the kids are. Yeah. Huh.
Annie
Isn't he Jen A.
Kim Whitley
Is that.
Jeff Lewis
Oh.
Sarah Colonna
Jen A.
Kim Whitley
J. Yeah, I think they don't love to drive. They want to Uber. They're not asking to drive. Who's not the other guy?
Jeff Lewis
That's my daughter. She said nobody drives anymore. That's what she told me.
Kim Whitley
She's a baby, though.
Jeff Lewis
She's nine.
Kim Whitley
She's not.
Shane
No, she's Jenna.
Jeff Lewis
But she's Jenna. And Joshua's Jenna.
Shane
2010 to 2024 is Jenna.
Kim Whitley
It was 2011. The gen.
Jeff Lewis
Does he want to drive or does he care?
Kim Whitley
I don't think he wants to drive. It's crazy. These kids, they don't have to. They've been taking places, this Uber thing. So in order. That's stressful to learn. And they said, wait till your. Until your child ask to learn to drive. Don't force them. Don't say, you got to start driving. A lot of parents do because they need. They're like, I'm tired of taking.
Jeff Lewis
Yes, exactly.
Kim Whitley
But they said, you gotta wait until they ask. I have friends. Children are in college, and they don't know how to drive.
Jeff Lewis
I'm afraid Monroe's never gonna ask. Just never.
Sarah Colonna
Cause I don't know if they'll come. I don't know if it'll ever turn back. You know, sometimes it'll be like, oh, cool again to start driving. But I don't think it'll ever turn back because there's just more and more ways to get around.
Kim Whitley
But you could start with a golf cart. That's what I did. Went to Palm Springs, and my friend had a golf cart, and it kind of got interested. And so he'll drive that and then take him to the. You know, speed racing. Those things go. Kart places.
Jeff Lewis
We did that at Disneyland.
Kim Whitley
So did she have fun doing it?
Jeff Lewis
Well, I drove. Per usual. Per usual. I drove her.
Shane
You have to let Princess. She's not going to give that up.
Kim Whitley
You have to let her drive so she can feel the power.
Jeff Lewis
It's true that you make Joshua sit in the back seat.
Kim Whitley
You know what? This is you. This is the thing. There's a law. Okay, listen. If the kid. Okay, he doesn't. The thing is this. If a child never knows that they can sit in the front, they don't know the law. Why would he. I don't need him in the front seat. I have to put My purse. Somewhere in my snacks.
Shane
He has an ass.
Kim Whitley
Fighting for the front seat because he has an ass.
Sarah Colonna
Does he ever go by other cars and sees that other people are in the front?
Kim Whitley
Oh, no. I said, you're still too young.
Annie
Maybe he wants to be on his phone.
Kim Whitley
He doesn't know the law. He doesn't know. He could have been up there years ago.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, so you're telling him you legally cannot be in the front seat?
Kim Whitley
Oh, I just told him there's a law that came out that said these kids have to be in a booster seat until they're like, 16. It's a new law in California. Wait, I'm telling you.
Jeff Lewis
Do you have Joshua in a booster seat?
Kim Whitley
Be quiet.
Jeff Lewis
You have your 15 year old in a booster seat.
Kim Whitley
There is a law. If I get pulled over, he has to sit in a booster seat. He doesn't like it.
Jeff Lewis
That is not true.
Kim Whitley
Somebody Google.
Jeff Lewis
Somebody Google it. I think they can get out at like 8.
Sarah Colonna
There's no way. We have some really stupid laws. But that can't be one of them.
Kim Whitley
At the booster seat. The girl told me.
Jeff Lewis
I don't think so. I think at 15 he can get out of the booster seat.
Sarah Colonna
I think so. I think after.
Jeff Lewis
Can somebody look it up, please? It's a meme. It's not real. It's a meme.
Sarah Colonna
You have to be eight years old or four, nine.
Shane
I'm assuming he's taller than four, nine.
Kim Whitley
I can't stand. Jackson.
Jeff Lewis
Welcome to the club.
Kim Whitley
Okay. Oh, okay.
Jeff Lewis
So he can. He does not need a booster seat.
Kim Whitley
He doesn't listen to your show. Ha ha. So he won't know.
Jeff Lewis
Is it safe to have. How tall is he?
Kim Whitley
He's my height. He's about five, nine and a half.
Sarah Colonna
If you put him on a booster seat, doesn't his head hit the roof of the car?
Kim Whitley
He was uncomfortable, but he's thin, so he fit in the. Okay, okay. I will let him sit in the front. I don't like it. I'm always afraid that that airbag or something happens.
Jeff Lewis
I know what you mean. I know what you mean.
Kim Whitley
He's 15.
Sarah Colonna
Does Monroe sit in the front?
Jeff Lewis
Once in a while on a short drive, I'll let her sit in the front. But then I start getting word about those airbags, and I think, she's so little, those airbags could really do some damage. So then I put her in the back seat.
Sarah Colonna
When I did driver's education, I'll never.
Jeff Lewis
Forget the teacher said, and what's the seat next to the driver?
Shane
And we all sit, say, passenger. And he said, no, it's the death seat.
Jeff Lewis
If you're in that seat, you're dying.
Sarah Colonna
And we were all, oh, my God.
Jeff Lewis
What?
Sarah Colonna
What?
Shane
Well, because I think accidents happen.
Sarah Colonna
And then, you know.
Jeff Lewis
Shane, you need to sit in the back now.
Shane
Yeah, I do.
Sarah Colonna
You can just tell your son, get.
Shane
Out of the death seat.
Kim Whitley
I'm. I'm gonna. I'm gonna.
Sarah Colonna
Yeah, and you need a.
Jeff Lewis
We need to get you in a booster.
Shane
The s. Class is so comfortable in the back.
Kim Whitley
I don't care.
Annie
I can, like, lay down.
Shane
Literally.
Sarah Colonna
You have to just tell him that it can. That it's the death seat. And then he won't want to sit there because now I want to sit in the back.
Kim Whitley
I do say drugs will kill because you just start going to high school. So I do say that. I said death.
Annie
Which ones?
Kim Whitley
All of them. I said, if you go in the bathroom when you see the kids, do not do drugs.
Jeff Lewis
No drugs. Annie.
Kim Whitley
It will kill you if you say that to a child. Because an adult told me his mother did that. And he said it saved me because she was like, death. If you do a drug, you die.
Sarah Colonna
Have him read. Do you remember Sweet Valley High?
Kim Whitley
No.
Sarah Colonna
Yeah, those books were really good. And that girl, Regina, she did cocaine at a party, and it stopped her heart, and she died. And that kept me from doing cocaine until my twenties.
Kim Whitley
Until the twenties. You know what? I was listening to you. I was taking notes. Sarah, you're worthless. You are horrible till you're twenties.
Jeff Lewis
Now you have an unusual punishment. When Joshua steps out of line. How do you punish him?
Kim Whitley
Wait, which one? Chase him around with peanut butter. Oh, wait, What? I'm sorry. He's allergic to peanut butter. I'm sorry. Is that the worst? Okay, what was something I did? 15 year old on a booster seat getting peanut butter. I used to, but it was horrible. I would put peanut butter on my finger. I probably should be in jail right now. And I would say, don't do it again. And I run around the house with peanut butter. He's like, you know, I'm allergic. But no, he has to. This is black mama stuff he has to do. Matter of fact, yesterday, he has to do pushups. He has to run around, like, give me some laps.
Jeff Lewis
Laps on the tennis court.
Kim Whitley
On the tennis court. I didn't want to say it, but if you have one. He has to do laps on the tennis court. He has to do push ups and sit ups. All the things he has to wear. He had to do them yesterday. What did he do I have to. Yes. Do push ups and sit ups?
Jeff Lewis
No, but what did he do to get the punishment?
Kim Whitley
Leaving dishes and trash and, like, a cup of noodle soup right there on the table, watching tv. He doesn't put anything away that. Just trying to remind him to put your dishes in the sink or wash them. Put your trash up. No one is. Is running behind you. And I couldn't take it. I was like, how do I teach him? And I said, every time you do that, you have to give me 50 push ups, jumping jacks, everything.
Jeff Lewis
I'm having a little issue with that. Leaving. Because she's like, me. She's five drinks, and they just all left on the coffee table. I'm like, hello, who's picking this up? And then she'll leave her shoes and she'll put them on the island, which makes me nuts. And then she'll leave sweaters. She does that too. But I don't punish her. I just tell her to do it and then she'll do it. But I'm sick of telling her every day.
Sarah Colonna
Just tell him it's illegal. Just tell him it's illegal like you do with the car thing. Yeah, he sounds like. Sounds like not that smart.
Kim Whitley
Like he might believe you. I can't. I can't. I have to make sure he's brilliant.
Jeff Lewis
But I have the same issue with my other kids because yesterday.
Shane
What are you talking about?
Jeff Lewis
Yesterday there were two used glasses sitting on the. On the countertop next to the sink. And did you hear me when I made the announcement? I'm like, okay, thanks for leaving your glasses here, guys. So that's what I want to do. I want to do your dishes. So I don't know which two of the seven, but of course no one says a word. But there were two glasses left out. Put them in the dishwasher. You made it all the way to the sink.
Kim Whitley
So no one came and got.
Jeff Lewis
I don't know who it was. It's either Kean, Annie, Shane, Justin Bieber.
Sarah Colonna
Who else?
Annie
I vividly remember getting the sponge and wiping my lipstick off a cup and being like, g, this is so annoying. And then, like, putting it in the dishwasher washer. So it wasn't me yesterday.
Kim Whitley
Okay, but you should. Oh, maybe you should tell baby girl that she has to live by example. And you say, if you put things up, Daddy will learn. It will help everyone in the house. Because, you know girls, they like to. Oh, I'm going to show them. Yeah, they're gonna. I'm gonna teach Daddy I love classes.
Jeff Lewis
I put her to work last week because she was home sick all week with that superfluous. So I said, hey, you need to do daddy a favor. I said, since I'm gone, I want you to keep an eye on all the employees. And I want to know who's talking, who's working.
Annie
She was a little rat last week.
Jeff Lewis
Oh wow. It was.
Shane
She took notes.
Jeff Lewis
She took notes.
Kim Whitley
No, she did not. She thought she was on Traders.
Jeff Lewis
What is that?
Sarah Colonna
Oh my God, that is hilarious.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, she was so funny. So I called and I called her nanny and I said, hey, how's she doing? What's her temperature? The whole thing. She goes, well, she's in her playroom, she's writing notes. And I go, oh, what's she writing? Writing? She goes, she won't tell me what they are. I go, can I speak to her? And so I get her on the phone, you remember? And she's like, daddy. Okay, so I've been writing, I've been writing down notes. Justin keeps talking. He keeps coming out. He's been talking to so and so for this many minutes. And so and so for that I go, thank you so much, Monroe. I said, you're my mole. I said, keep, keep an eye on him.
Kim Whitley
This is hilarious.
Jeff Lewis
Uh huh. So she was keeping track of everybody left.
Shane
She loved it. I mean she, she's a chismosta. She will gossip, she will tell, she'll do whatever she camp.
Annie
No, literally, whenever I hit the curb before you even got the door open, she's like, annie crashed her car.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, what's going on with the tires?
Annie
I just got an email that they came in, so I'm going tomorrow after work tomorrow night.
Jeff Lewis
She ran into a curb in front of my house. Yes. And popped her tire. So then they told her that she actually needed two tires. Thank God. Cuz the other.
Annie
It happened for me because then when I went in, they're like, first of all, you ordered the wrong size tire so we can't install it. But also you need to get another tire because the other one has exposed wires and you're gonna have a blow.
Kim Whitley
Oh, wow.
Annie
So it was like the universe was protecting me.
Kim Whitley
Really? Didn't protect you from that curve though.
Jeff Lewis
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Kim Whitley
Yes, everyone, if you'd like to see me live. I don't know what that voice is. I'll be in Texas, Dallas area, the Arlington Improv. March 5th and 7th. I mean March 5th through 7th. Then I go to Cleveland, March 27th, 28th at the Funny Bone in Cleveland. And there's a lot of other dates and iamkimwhitley.com is. Or my Instagram, anything. What about you, Sarah?
Sarah Colonna
I'm gonna do them after the next break.
Kim Whitley
Oh that's.
Jeff Lewis
Yeah. But so for the. Oh, for the day. But you have other shows. So for the dates. Yes, the cities, the dates, the venues, the tickets. You go to I kmkimwhitley.com yeah, k y m K Y M K Y M. But then. Okay, so you said you were going to.
Kim Whitley
I'll go to Arlington March 5th through 7th and then March 27th through 8th I'm in Cleveland, Ohio at the Funny Bow. And then I go to April 27th I'm in Louisville, Kentucky April 17th, 17th and I don't have my glasses.
Jeff Lewis
I got you, Sarah. Would you just grab it?
Sarah Colonna
April 17th you can see her in Louisville, Kentucky, May 8th through 9th in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Plus shows through May around America. America. Tickets at I am Kim kymwhitley.com well.
Jeff Lewis
Thank God for Sarah.
Kim Whitley
Yeah, thank you. And what? And I am up for an NAACP Image Award. Please everyone go vote@naacp.org and go to special variety show and I hosted HBCU Honors and click on that. Well, voting ends next on Friday.
Jeff Lewis
It depends who are the other contenders?
Kim Whitley
Why does it pit?
Jeff Lewis
Well, I want to know before I vote.
Kim Whitley
No, you look for my face.
Jeff Lewis
Who else is.
Kim Whitley
I mean, okay, there's some.
Jeff Lewis
Who else is nominated name?
Kim Whitley
I think Kevin Hart.
Jeff Lewis
Because if that.
Shane
Oh, I love Kevin.
Jeff Lewis
Was that good looking guy not. I love Kevin Hart. He's very funny funny.
Kim Whitley
Hey, all right.
Jeff Lewis
So if we want to vote for Kevin Height. Where do. Where do we go? Kevin Hart. Where do we go?
Sarah Colonna
Kevin hart.com I think.
Kim Whitley
Yes, over there.
Shane
I am Kevin Hart.
Sarah Colonna
H A R T I believe. Where do we see.
Kim Whitley
Has Kevin Hart been here?
Jeff Lewis
Not yet. But where do we see. Where do we see him and get.
Kim Whitley
Tickets you'll to go to Kim Whitley. What the heck?
Sarah Colonna
Kevin is so funny live. Have you ever seen him?
Shane
He should do a show with Caroline Bray.
Kim Whitley
This is all. All I want to know is why does Oscar have a mask on? Let's just start saying got me in a petri dish. What is going on? I mean, I understand Jameson has a couple diseases, but what about. Why is Oscar okay?
Jeff Lewis
It's just detention. He's fine.
Kim Whitley
Okay. You're okay.
Shane
Called.
Jeff Lewis
He's cute with that mask on.
Kim Whitley
I'm not laughing, Oscar.
Jeff Lewis
You know why his eyes pop?
Annie
He has beautiful eyes and they match.
Jeff Lewis
The mask.
Shane
The mask.
Kim Whitley
Honestly, what it is.
Jeff Lewis
You should wear that mask all the time.
Shane
Really cute.
Jeff Lewis
Look how cute he is with the mask.
Kim Whitley
But he has a good smile too. But he has great hair.
Annie
Let's not go overboard.
Kim Whitley
It's silky.
Jeff Lewis
Did you hear her back there?
Sarah Colonna
What the shit store?
Annie
You love me. You love me, queen.
Kim Whitley
I do. Look at at him. He's cute though. Thank you. You ever had a black girl?
Sarah Colonna
I have actually.
Jeff Lewis
Yeah.
Kim Whitley
Boy. You. You boy is killing me over there. Like. Yeah, I. She's probably detector determined.
Jeff Lewis
That was a lie.
Kim Whitley
Oh, I love coming on this show. Oh my goodness, y' all are silly. Sarah, what you been doing? Okay, sorry.
Jeff Lewis
I want to ask you about your dogs.
Kim Whitley
Oh yeah.
Jeff Lewis
So you are obsessed and love your dogs.
Kim Whitley
Yes. Just like she likes her cats. I have a boxer and I have a terrier mix. And I got the terrier, you know, from an adoption, you know. Yeah, you. I really believe in that.
Sarah Colonna
Yes.
Kim Whitley
And then the boxer. I've always wanted a boxer. So I got him from Texas. So I didn't really get. I really believe. Have you seen these videos where you let the dog picks you the dog pick you?
Jeff Lewis
Yes.
Shane
Yes.
Kim Whitley
So I've always done that. I remember when I first. Even if it's like a pet store or wherever, or adopt, I let the dog come to me and pick me up. Always been the best dog. My brother. My brother, my son wanted this other dog. And I was like, no, I want the chubby one. And the chubby one came to me. I don't know why. So I really love them because we're. Except the boxer. I love the boxer. But he did knock me in the pool, and I had to have surgery. That's a whole thing.
Sarah Colonna
What, like he jumped on you or something?
Kim Whitley
Yeah, you don't. You have to research your dogs. People don't understand. You have to research. I didn't know boxers were so, like, crazy and out of control. And he was six months old, and I was watering plants by the pool. My feet crossed, and I saw him coming. He came and he clipped me. And I went in the pool and I snapped my neck.
Jeff Lewis
What?
Sarah Colonna
Oh, my God.
Kim Whitley
So I had to have emergency surgery because I didn't want to hit my head on the side. It was like the Jacuzzi part. And I went in and I came out like the ring. And this was so crazy. When I came out, I was like. It came out, had hair. No one was holding. But I got out the pool. It was 105 in the valley. I'm burning myself on the concrete because I can't get up. I can't stand up.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, no.
Kim Whitley
But I'm trying to get out the water. It was. I went through a lot, and then I reached my phone. That's why I keep the string on the phone, wherever it is. I pulled it and I just called the last person I talked to and I said, please come to the house. And I was able to get up, but I had spine surgery. Neck.
Sarah Colonna
Well, you didn't call 911.
Kim Whitley
You know, I just forget that that's available.
Jeff Lewis
So you go in and you sit down. You let the puppies come to you and choose you.
Kim Whitley
Yes. Always have.
Jeff Lewis
I bet if Kevin Hart was in there, they would all go to Kevin Hart. And then how do we vote for Kevin Hart?
Kim Whitley
No, no, no. You go to Variety. Special Variety. How are you? Who's in charge of this? And you go to Variety. Special Variety.
Jeff Lewis
Let's see who the other contenders are.
Kim Whitley
And what's it called, which one it is under which categories? It's under Variety.
Sarah Colonna
Variety show or.
Jeff Lewis
I'm not seeing that.
Kim Whitley
It is.
Shane
She made this up.
Kim Whitley
No, it's under Variety.
Jeff Lewis
And like, outstanding variety. Go to outstanding variety. Series or special?
Kim Whitley
Series or special? Outstanding Variety. And you look up me and you will see H. Can we all vote? You can vote, and I want you to vote.
Shane
What if we're white?
Kim Whitley
Like Annie Day? Because the voting is over on Friday. I don't know.
Sarah Colonna
Oh, there it is. Series or special? Right there.
Shane
Oh, great.
Kim Whitley
There I am in the middle. See that? 2,000. Is there a picture of me? Oh, we can have a picture. Oh, Jesus.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, one wonderful night.
Kim Whitley
That one. That's my. You both.
Annie
You should send in a picture.
Kim Whitley
Is there a picture?
Jeff Lewis
There's no picture of you.
Kim Whitley
There is no picture of me. I am on the picture somewhere.
Jeff Lewis
I don't see you. Hbcu, they thought they had a better chance if they didn't use your.
Kim Whitley
Is that me in the corner or is that Shirley?
Jeff Lewis
Oh, they're gonna get more votes. Cause you're off. Okay, so who is on the picture then? If it's not Kim Whitley.
Kim Whitley
Oh, my gosh. That is, you know, David Banner.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, yeah.
Kim Whitley
Shirley Caesar.
Jeff Lewis
Yes. I can't believe you got cut out.
Kim Whitley
I'm usually on there.
Jeff Lewis
That's so crazy. So they're asking you to promote it, yet they cut you off? They cut you out?
Kim Whitley
Well, I'm gonna be at the award show, and I. If we win, I am going up to get that award.
Shane
Yeah, you better push Dana Banner out of the way.
Kim Whitley
But you, I don't know.
Jeff Lewis
There's a lot of other good shows here to vote for.
Kim Whitley
No, there's not. You don't even know those people. Ali Siddiq is a comic witch. You don't know any of these people.
Jeff Lewis
I know. Oh, my. I've heard of them.
Kim Whitley
The BET Awards.
Jeff Lewis
Okay, so who are you voting for then?
Shane
Probably The BET Awards. 2025. That was a spectacular program.
Kim Whitley
You have never even watched bet. You are so white, you don't even have it on your channel. Are you kidding?
Jeff Lewis
I'm gonna vote for Wicked. One wonderful night. Is that what you're voting for? Jameson, why is this attitude? I'm gay.
Shane
I have to.
Kim Whitley
Okay, that's true. You do.
Sarah Colonna
Yeah. Wait a minute. I'll vote for you, Cam, because I want you to get one.
Kim Whitley
Thank you.
Jeff Lewis
Is anyone gonna vote for. It's HBCU Honors.
Kim Whitley
Historically Black College and Universities is an award show. I went to Fisk University.
Annie
Annie, was there a party?
Kim Whitley
What'd you say? Annie, you look like you date black. You better start speaking up.
Annie
I'll vote for you if I can figure out this website.
Kim Whitley
Say it.
Annie
Struggling, mama.
Kim Whitley
I love y'. All.
Sarah Colonna
I'm going to vote for you like five times.
Jeff Lewis
You know, I voter fry.
Kim Whitley
Oh, you can.
Jeff Lewis
I don't think it's going to be enough votes for you to win over Wicked and the BET Award. Kevin Hart Post Wicked is a shoe in. I'm so sorry.
Kim Whitley
Dang. I didn't see that.
Sarah Colonna
It was an honor to be nominated.
Kim Whitley
I voted. You see? You see my future boyfriend?
Jeff Lewis
Yeah.
Kim Whitley
Boom.
Jeff Lewis
You voted for.
Kim Whitley
For her.
Shane
Oh, he's doing it right now. I'm not.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, we're doing it right online. We're voting. All right. I wonder if the chumps could go. The problem is you can't navigate this thing.
Annie
Okay, we'll vote. We go together for you to receive your award and then we find men.
Kim Whitley
This is the problem. Oh, you'll go with her?
Sarah Colonna
Yeah. Okay.
Jeff Lewis
No, she's gonna be half naked, dude.
Kim Whitley
I will take you out. Yeah. Do you understand? I will use you. Yeah. I will send you out her wingman. The wing woman.
Sarah Colonna
Yeah.
Kim Whitley
She will go out and I will snatch up her left hand. Leftovers. Let's do it now.
Jeff Lewis
Do you take the dogs to daycare?
Kim Whitley
No, I don't.
Jeff Lewis
Who watches them when you're gone?
Kim Whitley
I do Wags a lot. And I do Wags. Yes.
Jeff Lewis
That's where we're gonna go.
Kim Whitley
No, no. Wags is a app. They come over and take care of your dog.
Jeff Lewis
We're going to Wag on Wag, right?
Shane
We're going to Wag on Wag.
Kim Whitley
Yeah.
Jeff Lewis
On Highland.
Kim Whitley
Okay. And in Valley, I go to Andy's.
Sarah Colonna
I'm a Wag.
Jeff Lewis
You go to Wag too?
Annie
Yeah. You are?
Sarah Colonna
No, I'm a Wag. It's called Wife and girl friend.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, yeah.
Shane
It's like a sports.
Sarah Colonna
Sports thing. You wouldn't understand daycare.
Kim Whitley
I'm trying to take my daddy to daycare. The dogs, too. It's a lot going on in my.
Jeff Lewis
House with the dog, with the. We're taking Toby to Wag on Highland.
Kim Whitley
Okay. And then.
Jeff Lewis
But we're very excited because they have an indoor outdoor situation where the dog can go outside and lay in the sun at the Wag Kiki Beach.
Kim Whitley
Is that what it's called?
Shane
Cutest thing you've ever heard.
Sarah Colonna
That's adorable.
Jeff Lewis
I'm gonna check it out.
Shane
I think I'm gonna go hang out there.
Kim Whitley
Do they have now I gotta see.
Sarah Colonna
Cause little like lawn chairs out there and stuff. Things for them to lay on. I don't know.
Jeff Lewis
There's mister's, there's everything oh, that's so cute. Yeah, Towel service, everything.
Sarah Colonna
Towel service.
Kim Whitley
Did you say no Cabana boys?
Jeff Lewis
Yep.
Sarah Colonna
Yeah.
Kim Whitley
Okay. For people that can't afford that, you can go to Andy's groomer in the. What in the world. They can lay out by the curb there. You can drive. Are you serious? Look. Who talks like that?
Sarah Colonna
You just tie em to a fire hydrant.
Kim Whitley
Yeah, but Andy's groomer is great. He gonna talk about. And then they have. And they bring their drinks and towels and they do their toes.
Jeff Lewis
You know, they're regular. They will do grooming services. They'll do overnights.
Shane
They'll do regular people nail trimming, shampoo.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, yeah, all of it. All of it.
Sarah Colonna
They can. And you can stay there when you're out of deep tissue machines.
Kim Whitley
Oh, yeah. What about babysitting your animals?
Jeff Lewis
They will do that. But I. We're. We're just. I'd rather have people at the house with the dog.
Kim Whitley
Yeah, I do that also. I can. But you have little dogs, big dogs.
Jeff Lewis
No, I have one kind of. Is he kind of big? Medium.
Shane
He's like what, 35?
Jeff Lewis
Just have one dog, two cats and a kid.
Kim Whitley
Wow. Who is watching the property? Any dog going? Nothing?
Jeff Lewis
Yes. Yeah, he's Toby. Oh, no, he's.
Kim Whitley
Oh, Toby's good.
Jeff Lewis
Yeah, he's good. He's a pretty good watchdog. What about your dog, the boxer?
Kim Whitley
It's that boxer. But he wasn't. It was the little one. But the boxer, I never took away his sack. And that's what. So now he's gotten really like. So I wanna do you fix your dog. You take the little. I gotta take those off. I don't want to.
Jeff Lewis
He got fixed when I got him.
Kim Whitley
I'm two years old.
Jeff Lewis
He's still got his sack.
Kim Whitley
That satisfy. I know I shouldn't, but I like looking at him. It's funny to me.
Sarah Colonna
I really do think you need to get laid.
Kim Whitley
No, not the dog balls. But I look at them, they're so funny to me. Cause they. Okay, it's wrong. I did say something that does look like I'm crazy.
Sarah Colonna
But you do want to get him fixed.
Kim Whitley
Because don't say like he looks weird when they're gone.
Sarah Colonna
Do they spray or anything?
Jeff Lewis
No, you're right.
Kim Whitley
They told the vet, said it's time. I just don't wanna put that cone on his head. I'm do it.
Jeff Lewis
I feel like he's my baby and I think the sacks would throw it off. You know what I mean? Like, I don't want to see balls On Toby.
Sarah Colonna
No.
Kim Whitley
Okay, okay, you're right.
Sarah Colonna
You can get a soft cone. It's cute. They're like the soft cone.
Kim Whitley
Oh, soft ones.
Sarah Colonna
Cute. Like a little.
Kim Whitley
You know what? Cause you said this. I am going to. Because I know my assistant is listening. Please. I got to get his Canonas. Kaninas.
Sarah Colonna
Cool.
Kim Whitley
Thank you. Honey. I gotta get those removed.
Jeff Lewis
And then, Sarah, can you promote your standup dates? You have a lot of dates on the next few months.
Sarah Colonna
Yes. Springfield, Missouri, this week. February 12th through 14th. The 20th in Chicago, 21st. St. Louis. 27th and 28th in Iowa. Emmetsburg and Clinton. 6th through 7th in Boston. That's March. March 26th through 28th, Appleton, Wisconsin. And April 10th and 11th, Arlington, Virginia. Saracolona.com.
Jeff Lewis
Great. And then also, if you want to vote for Kevin hart, go to aacp.org.
Kim Whitley
Now, I voted for you.
Jeff Lewis
How do you do it? Will you explain it to the chumps?
Annie
Google NAACP Vote. And then you go to the first link that comes up and then you vote for the outcome. Outstanding Variety series or special. There's not a picture of Kim. It's very confusing. It's the HBCU 2025 honorees that you vote for.
Kim Whitley
I'm gonna. Thank you. I'm gonna bring that up.
Jeff Lewis
You need to call them today.
Kim Whitley
Today fucked up that they asked you.
Jeff Lewis
To come here and promote it and your picture's not even on it.
Kim Whitley
You know what? I'm gonna bring it up.
Sarah Colonna
They want you to get on that website and let it choose.
Kim Whitley
Well, you know what? This week I am going to be on the Sher Shepard show. I forgot. That's right. Thursday. And then next week I'm going to do a Valentine special. I'm a fly out to go to Sherry's show, do a Valentine special, fly right back because I have a meeting at the school. And then next week I'm going back to New York and we're gonna do another show together.
Jeff Lewis
You and Sherry?
Kim Whitley
Yes.
Jeff Lewis
Why do you have a meeting at this school? What's going on with Joshua?
Kim Whitley
Well, you know, he.
Jeff Lewis
Push ups. It sounds like push ups and sit ups are coming his way.
Kim Whitley
Well, since it's a new school I'm gonna do. There's so many things I wanna talk about. We're going on the. We're gonna go out. I know Caroline will be ready, but I have to make her go do local spots like the Ice House.
Sarah Colonna
We're gonna go do local spots together.
Jeff Lewis
You should. I actually was thinking about it in the bathroom. I was telling Shane. You.
Sarah Colonna
We like each other I'm gonna make her go.
Jeff Lewis
So maybe when Caroline can't do it, ask Sarah.
Sarah Colonna
Do I have to wear a Vegas showgirl outfit?
Kim Whitley
Yes, please.
Sarah Colonna
Okay. I've got a lot of them.
Kim Whitley
No, Sarah does not do comedy in town.
Sarah Colonna
So I'm always on the road. Cause I'm always on the road. And then when I get home, I do five shows in a week and I don't want to come. Go do like a few minutes at the, you know, at the local club. I used to all the time, but now Kim and I are gonna do it.
Kim Whitley
Yes. How do you work on new material?
Sarah Colonna
When I'm doing five hours a week on stage, I'll just do it. I just throw it in there. Yeah, I work it out in there.
Kim Whitley
Okay, that's fair.
Sarah Colonna
Yeah, that's fair.
Jeff Lewis
I do want to promote our live show coming up in Phoenix. So it's. You go to phoenix.standuplive.com you've been to Stand up live in Phoenix?
Shane
No.
Jeff Lewis
Okay, so we're doing a live show on Thursday, March 26th. It's Jeff Lewis live, hot to go. Right now. We have Doug Jameson, Shane Keyan, Patrick Pol, and then special guests Shannon Beador and Beverly d' Angelo will be joining.
Shane
I mean, that's.
Jeff Lewis
So you go to phoenix.standup live.com now for tickets. We have sold out of the VVIP, but we have VIP and then General admission still available.
Shane
Also, Todd is coming to do the pre show. I don't know if you mentioned that.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, you're. I didn't mention his name. Maybe I did that on purpose. I'm trying to sell tickets.
Shane
Oh, sorry.
Kim Whitley
Okay. That's hilarious.
Jeff Lewis
Thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Jeff Lewis Ladd every weekday on Sirius XM as well as the Jeff Lewis channel, exclusively on the SiriusXM app.
Sarah Colonna
A year ago, I'm pretty sure I made a baby on Valentine's Day. My cycles were confusing. My doctor didn't listen. My period app couldn't predict ovulation. We missed chances for months. If you want a baby and you're struggling, here's what I did. I got us a Mira hormone monitor. Mira tracks four key hormones like a lab from home and found my ovulation in minutes. Plus it also tracks hormone health and perimenopause. Get 20 off for Valentine's Day with code LOVEMIRA@miracare.com quick.
Kim Whitley
Choose a meal deal with McValue.
Shane
The five dollar McChicken meal deal. The six dollar McDouble meal deal or.
Kim Whitley
The new seven dollar Daily Double meal deal, each with its own small fries, drink and Four Piece McNuggets. There's actually no rush. I'm just excited for McDonald's for a limited time only.
Jeff Lewis
Prices and participation may vary. Not Valder McDelivery.
Episode: Kym Whitley & Sarah Colonna: Booster Seats & Nominations
Date: February 18, 2026
Host: Jeff Lewis
Guests: Kym Whitley, Sarah Colonna
In this lively episode, Jeff Lewis welcomes comedians Kym Whitley and Sarah Colonna for a candid and hilarious discussion of personal lives, family chaos, comedy show etiquette, booster seat “laws,” pet parenting, and award show politics. The trio dives into stories about Super Bowl adventures, divorce hypotheticals, the struggles of raising Gen Alpha/Gen Z kids, punishing teenagers, and the awkward pitfalls of being friends in the comedy world. As always, the conversation is infused with Jeff’s signature no-filter humor and spontaneous banter.
The Mystery of Teens Not Wanting to Drive: Kim and Jeff discuss their children’s surprising disinterest in learning to drive, with Kim suggesting it’s a generational shift due to Uber and other rideshare options.
Booster Seat Comedy: Kym says she still makes her 15-year-old sit in a booster seat, pretending it’s the law—despite him being 5’9”. This leads to a hilarious group investigation of what the law actually requires.
Punishment Tactics:
Divorce Negotiations:
Comedy Show Etiquette Confession:
On Booster Seats:
Kym’s Parenting Style:
Riffing on Pet Services:
On Award Show Irony:
| Time | Segment | |---------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:22 | Introduction, Sarah returns from Super Bowl | | 02:02 | Bad Bunny halftime show discussion | | 04:21 | NFL husband’s ring/necklace story | | 07:54 | Comedy show etiquette: buying front row seats | | 09:36 | Crowd work on friends, comedy protocol | | 11:33 | Caroline Rhea’s showgirl costume mishap | | 20:43 | Playful flirting and one-handed listening jokes | | 22:12 | Teens and driving: generational changes | | 23:48 | Kym’s (fake) booster seat law for her 15-year-old son | | 26:54 | Parenting punishments: peanut butter, pushups, and laps | | 40:04 | Kym’s boxer dog accident and adoption philosophies | | 36:34 | Kym promotes her standup dates (repeats, concludes around 36:58 and after) | | 42:51 | NAACP Image Award voting, missing headshots, and voting confusion | | 45:35 | Jeff lauds “Wag Kiki Beach” dog daycare, luxury pet amenities | | 48:14 | Sarah’s upcoming standup dates |
This episode is a fun, fast-paced window into Jeff Lewis’s world—full of oversharing, sitcom-worthy parenting dilemmas, candid laughter, and real talk about the everyday chaos of relationships, family, and showbiz. Kym Whitley and Sarah Colonna keep the energy high and the gags coming, blending heartfelt moments and social commentary with raw comic timing. If you want to catch these comedy pros live or vote for their award show nominations, the show details their upcoming dates and links.
For more:
Original language and tone preserved: irreverent, unfiltered, and unmistakably hilarious.