Kym Whitley & Sarah Colonna: Spirits & Mosquitoes

Summary

Jeff Lewis Has Issues: Episode Summary Episode: Kym Whitley & Sarah Colonna: Spirits & Mosquitoes | Release Date: August 15, 2025

In this engaging episode of "Jeff Lewis Has Issues," host Jeff Lewis welcomes comedian and actress Kym Whitley alongside Sarah Colonna, delving into a variety of personal anecdotes, humorous mishaps, and insightful discussions. The episode seamlessly weaves through topics ranging from frustrating shopping experiences to the profound journey of unexpected parenthood, all delivered with Jeff’s trademark no-filter honesty.

---

1. Introduction of Guests

Timestamp: [00:58] – [01:18]

Jeff kicks off the episode by introducing his guests, setting the stage for a candid conversation. Kim Whitley humorously teases Jeff about his perpetual drama, immediately establishing a lighthearted and playful atmosphere.

Kim Whitley: "When you're Jeff Lewis, the drama never stops."
([00:58])

---

2. Frustrating Shopping Experience at West Elm

Timestamp: [02:25] – [04:20]

The trio shares their recent shopping ordeal at West Elm in Beverly. Jeff recounts his disappointment with the lack of customer service, detailing the high costs and mismatched orders that left him frustrated.

Jeff Lewis: "We walked in, they barely said hello to us. Not one person would get off their ass to help us."
([02:53])

Sarah Colonna: "We spent like $2,000 on the entire guest room bed... when I got home, I realized we had a king size duvet instead of queen."
([05:08])

Despite the hefty price tag, the lack of assistance and subsequent errors in orders caused significant inconvenience, sparking a discussion about the quality of service at high-end retailers versus more budget-friendly options like Ross or Marshall’s.

---

3. The Buzz Around Home Scent Machines

Timestamp: [06:30] – [09:35]

The conversation shifts to home fragrance solutions, where Jeff enthusiastically describes his experience with a commercial scent machine at a furniture mart, praising the pervasive and pleasant aromas.

Jeff Lewis: "They're pumping this beautiful scent through the air vents. It smelled so nice in there."
([06:34])

However, Sarah Colonna voices skepticism, sharing her own disappointing experience with a personal diffuser that failed to deliver lasting scents.

Sarah Colonna: "I bought an air thing and it did not smell for a second."
([07:00])

Kim Whitley offers practical advice, recommending sourcing essential oils locally to achieve effective and affordable scent solutions.

Kim Whitley: "You better go down there on Slauson to one of the brothers selling that oil, and you put that in the machine."
([08:57])

---

4. Live vs. Fake Christmas Trees

Timestamp: [09:48] – [12:03]

Jeff and Kim delve into their preferences for Christmas trees, contrasting the sensory joys of live trees with the convenience and longevity of artificial ones. Jeff shares his investment in a high-end fake tree equipped with built-in lights and a scent machine, highlighting its aesthetic appeal.

Jeff Lewis: "I like a live tree because I like the smell. But since I got the scent machine with the cancer pine fragrance, I now can buy a fake tree."
([10:29])

Kim humorously recounts her decades-old artificial tree, emphasizing the blend of nostalgia and practicality it represents.

Kim Whitley: "I have a fake one I've had, but it's so old, my mother gave it to me probably 25 years ago."
([10:29])

They also touch upon the challenges of maintaining live trees, such as pesticide concerns and the high cost of organic options.

---

5. Canceled Cruise and Birthday Celebration at Tom Joyner’s

Timestamp: [12:03] – [18:21]

A pivotal moment in the episode centers around Kim Whitley’s tumultuous experience with a canceled cruise on her birthday. Due to a broken propeller, her cruise was called off, leading to an impromptu celebration at the home of legendary DJ Tom Joyner.

Kim Whitley: "I was on my birthday... balcony. It was the famous balcony of Tom Joyner, the disc jockey."
([14:21])

She vividly describes the lavish setup, including a Jacuzzi and Rolls Royce garage, painting a picture of unexpected luxury amidst disappointment.

Jeff Lewis: "They are so rich. He was."
([15:43])

The event, though initially stressful, turned into a memorable party filled with music, food, and a sense of community, showcasing the unpredictability of life and the silver linings that come with it.

---

6. Kim Whitley’s Journey to Parenthood

Timestamp: [30:55] – [37:11]

A deeply personal segment unfolds as Kim opens up about becoming a mother at 46. She narrates the surprising circumstances under which she welcomed her son, Joshua, into her life when a young woman left him at the hospital.

Kim Whitley: "When I was younger, he took my bike and never brought it back. I'll never forget it."
([25:10])

She recounts the emotional turmoil and the pivotal role her late mother played in encouraging her to embrace motherhood.

Kim Whitley: "My mother was just laying there... she makes this noise. It was like a transfer of spirits."
([36:16])

This heartfelt story highlights themes of destiny, resilience, and the transformative power of unexpected blessings.

---

7. Parenting a Teenager: Routines and Challenges

Timestamp: [37:11] – [45:15]

Kim discusses the complexities of parenting a 14-year-old during adolescence. She shares her struggles with communication and the emotional distance that often accompanies teenage years.

Kim Whitley: "There has to be some kind of other connection. Yeah, I wanna, I wanna do."
([21:06])

The trio exchanges parenting tips, emphasizing the importance of establishing routines that foster connection without imposing judgment. Jeff relates by describing his own nighttime routine with his daughter, using physical affection and conversation to strengthen their bond.

Jeff Lewis: "We talk while I put lotion on her... it's become the most intimate, connected time for us."
([41:35])

Kim aspires to implement similar practices, aiming to bridge the emotional gap and maintain a strong relationship with her son.

---

8. Planning the Upcoming Summer Party

Timestamp: [45:15] – [50:44]

The conversation shifts to future plans as Jeff announces an upcoming summer party organized by Sarah Colonna, slated for Saturday, August 30th. The guests humorously debate the timing, menu, and logistics, touching upon topics like mosquito control and party food.

Jeff Lewis: "I've put this directly into my calendar and it said, you're ending it too. I was like, okay."
([46:10])

They discuss the challenges of hosting an outdoor event in Sherman Oaks, notorious for its mosquitoes, and brainstorm creative solutions to ensure a pleasant experience for all attendees.

Jeff Lewis: "We're gonna have a full bar... I'll stand next to John then."
([47:44])

The lively banter underscores the camaraderie among the hosts and their shared knack for turning even mundane plans into entertaining discussions.

---

9. Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts

Timestamp: [50:44] – [52:13]

As the episode winds down, the guests share light-hearted comments and wrap up their discussions with mutual appreciation and humorous remarks about their shared experiences.

Kim Whitley: "Hey, Joshua, let's sit down."
([44:25])

Jeff Lewis: "We're gonna watch Wednesday now, you said."
([44:28])

The episode concludes with a blend of humor, heartfelt moments, and practical advice, leaving listeners entertained and thoughtfully engaged.

---

Notable Quotes:

• Kim Whitley: "When you're Jeff Lewis, the drama never stops." ([00:58])
• Jeff Lewis: "They barely said hello to us. Not one person would get off their ass to help us." ([02:53])
• Sarah Colonna: "I was trying to kill myself." ([14:18])
• Kim Whitley: "I didn’t have the heart to take him if my mother wasn’t there." ([35:35])
• Jeff Lewis: "We talk while I put lotion on her... it's become the most intimate, connected time for us." ([41:35])

---

This episode masterfully balances humor with vulnerability, offering listeners an authentic glimpse into the lives of Jeff Lewis, Kym Whitley, and Sarah Colonna. From the trivial frustrations of shopping mishaps to the profound impact of unexpected parenthood, the conversation is both entertaining and relatable, embodying the essence of "Jeff Lewis Has Issues."

Transcript

[Jeff Lewis]

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[Kim Whitley]

When you're Jeff Lewis, the drama never stops.

[Jeff Lewis]

This dementia's aggressive. Really?

[Sarah Colonna]

So is the drinking.

[Jeff Lewis]

You know, I've never been on a private plane before and I'm very excited. Are you serious?

[Kim Whitley]

No, never.

[Jeff Lewis]

What are you, a Martian?

[Kim Whitley]

You're really demented.

[Lunel]

You're actually demented. Jeff Lewis has issues.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hey, welcome to Jeff Lewis has Issues. In today's episode, Kim Whitley and Sarah Colonna join the show. We talk about scents, canceled cruises and spirits. Good morning.

[Kim Whitley]

Good morning.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you enjoying your avocado toast?

[Kim Whitley]

But you know. So I didn't know you were going when they said action, like, you started immediately with the introduction. You didn't have any, like, fanfare and music. You had the music, but then you didn't go like, hey, and this and that and like a whole long introduction.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. Do you want me. Should I. Yes. I probably should introduce you.

[Kim Whitley]

People might not know who Kim Willie is. I mean, I don't. Depending on what.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're right. Okay, so you're an actress. You're here to promote Happy Gilmore 2.

[Lunel]

Which I just watched.

[Jeff Lewis]

You watched it?

[Lunel]

Yeah, I watched it two nights ago.

[Kim Whitley]

Thank you.

[Lunel]

Yeah, it was really fun. So fun. You were so fun.

[Jeff Lewis]

But you've been in My Brother and Me, Animal Practice, the Parkers, Young and Hungry. You voiced characters in the Boondocks, the Cleveland Show, Black Dynamite. You're a stand up comedian. You do live shows around the country. Is that good?

[Kim Whitley]

That was good. You did pretty good.

[Lunel]

Wait, now do me.

[Kim Whitley]

I know.

[Lunel]

I've been here a long time, Kim.

[Kim Whitley]

It was just like, boom.

[Jeff Lewis]

Sorry. Kim. Kim, have you been to the West Elm on Beverly?

[Kim Whitley]

No. What is that, a spa?

[Jeff Lewis]

No. It's a furniture store, and they have bedding and they have linens. So I had to go there. Cause I needed some new bedding for my guest room. And I'm telling you, it's like, we walked in, they barely said hello to us. Not one person would get off their ass to help us. We were upstairs for how long?

[Sarah Colonna]

No, like, 30 minutes. And we were making a mess. Like, we were just trying things, trying these pillows, trying the r. We did try to put things back in the throws. Yeah, no, we did, but it's like, if I worked there and I saw someone making a mess in my showroom, I'd be like, oh, let me help you. Can I grab something? Can I do something? They're all just, like, watching us.

[Jeff Lewis]

No one wanted to go up those stairs.

[Kim Whitley]

I think that's why you should have gone to Ross or Marshall's. Your little bougie ass went over to West Elm or wherever. It was expensive.

[Jeff Lewis]

So did they wait on you at Ross and Marshall's?

[Kim Whitley]

No. No. But it's easier. You can make a mess. It's a mess already. But you can find things and grab things. But they'll help you. There's somebody willing to.

[Jeff Lewis]

They did not help us at West El.

[Kim Whitley]

Surprised?

[Jeff Lewis]

And then what happened, Kim? Which.

[Sarah Colonna]

Go ahead, by the way. And then at one point, someone came up to me and asked me for help. And I was like, I don't work.

[Kim Whitley]

Someone asked me to.

[Sarah Colonna]

Just dressing this over because no one else is doing it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Someone asked me, too. And I said. And I wasn't a bitch about it. Like, I wasn't like, I don't work here. But I was like, I don't work here.

[Kim Whitley]

But that means they had just minimum employees. Because that does happen. You walk in stores ever since. COVID Yeah. People are not working. So I'm pretty sure maybe there was no one there.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, there were three people there, Cam. And they were all at the front desk, like, sitting. And I don't think they were talking or anything. Yes, they were. Two were talking to each other. Two were talking to each other. And then to be there 30 minutes and not have anyone come up to you is kind of crazy. But we still spent, like, $2,000.

[Kim Whitley]

$2,000 on what? I know.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, the entire guest room bed. That was 1,000 duvet pillows. And then this is what. So I got out of there for a thousand bucks. I'm like, okay, I got. I got a lot of stuff for $1,000. So then. But when I was asking that guy, let's not Say his name. But I was asking the guy, I said, hey, because, you know, I like a check and balance system. I said, I just want to make sure that everything we got is queen size. I said, so we can just double check. Because I was about to go through everything and make sure myself. But I figured since he's ringing me up, he could be looking at the same time. Well, no. I get home, I start putting the bed together. Kim. And it's a king size duvet. Why do I have king size? I asked for queen. Kim. Yes.

[Kim Whitley]

Queen. Stop it.

[Jeff Lewis]

So then I had to go back right after lunch, of course, because I was hungry. So I went back after lunch to exchange the king duvet for a queen duvet. And then I was there. I'm like, that chair would look really good.

[Kim Whitley]

No.

[Jeff Lewis]

And then I spent $900 on a swivel chair.

[Sarah Colonna]

I mean, it swivels back and forth.

[Jeff Lewis]

I love a swivel.

[Lunel]

No wonder they don't help you. They don't care. Like, you still spend all the money. They don't care.

[Jeff Lewis]

They don't even need to get up.

[Lunel]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

Upsell yourself.

[Lunel]

Yeah.

[Kim Whitley]

Now I have to go to the store.

[Jeff Lewis]

To West Elm.

[Kim Whitley]

Yeah, I have to.

[Jeff Lewis]

And I need to go to Marshall's.

[Kim Whitley]

You and Ross, you have to go there. I'm going, definitely.

[Lunel]

Everything is already in the floor at Ross and Marshall's. Just like, take everything off the rack.

[Sarah Colonna]

I can't do Ross. The lighting is so br in there. Like, are you TJ Maxx? Marshall's is fine. Ross is uncomfortable.

[Lunel]

It is.

[Sarah Colonna]

I have to wear sunglasses.

[Lunel]

I know, but they make. It doesn't. You don't look. Nobody looks good in that lighting. And then you don't want to try on their. Oh, yeah.

[Kim Whitley]

What's wrong with you going there to shop? What is wrong with you vain people?

[Lunel]

Because, well, I mean, but when you try on the clothes, because you have to try them on, because sometimes one pant leg is shorter than the other because it's. That's why it's so cheap.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't like that lighting either, Kim.

[Kim Whitley]

What?

[Sarah Colonna]

Jeff, at Ross. Your heart would stop if you walked in there. The lighting is so bright.

[Kim Whitley]

I have to have this experience with you.

[Jeff Lewis]

You need to go to West Elm with me because that is a beautiful environment. And they have a scent machine.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, no. I'll be ignorant in there if they didn't help white people. You know, they not helping the black people. And I will be ignorant and light that place up. No way.

[Lunel]

Wait, what do you mean a scent Machine smells.

[Kim Whitley]

Smell.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, yeah. They're pumping this scent, this beautiful scent through the air vents. And it smelled so nice in there.

[Sarah Colonna]

But I will say it's a scam. One time when I went there, I bought a air thing and it did not smell for a second. Not a second.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, you bought one of those little. Oh, scent machines.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's diffuser.

[Jeff Lewis]

What they have is a commercial one, and they're pumping it through those AC vents.

[Sarah Colonna]

I was tricked.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you have a scent machine in your home?

[Kim Whitley]

I do have a scent machine.

[Jeff Lewis]

So do I. Yeah.

[Kim Whitley]

Do you have the big one that goes through the house or you have. No, no, I just have the. I have the small ones in different rooms. I have one with the remote one. I have one I really like, but they do work. And you just pop them on real quick when company comes because otherwise who cares.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, mine goes on all day long, and it's big enough where it covers the whole first floor. Do you like it?

[Lunel]

Can I feel like yours doesn't work.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, oh, it absolutely works.

[Kim Whitley]

No, it doesn't.

[Jeff Lewis]

And you're used to it now.

[Sarah Colonna]

It does. No, because I just had to come this conversation with broken. He said whenever I walked into Jeff's house, it smells so amazing. And I was like, oh, really? I don't smell it at all.

[Jeff Lewis]

We get used to it.

[Sarah Colonna]

We're used to it.

[Lunel]

We're really strong over by the bathroom area. But other than that, I don't really notice it.

[Kim Whitley]

So I need the name of that machine because I'm gonna compare it to my machine.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's expensive.

[Kim Whitley]

I didn't even know this when you say. Cuz I am. No, but this is. It does exist.

[Lunel]

It's not like a glaze plugin.

[Kim Whitley]

No, there's a lot of them. But I worry because of what you're smelling. You know, cancer comes in everything.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's why I'm always worried that you smell this cancer. Smells so good.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, he's so crazy.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. And then during Christmas time, we have the pine cancer scent.

[Kim Whitley]

What is wrong with you? Jeff is crazy.

[Lunel]

Oh, John's gonna. He's gonna want to get that.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, you have to get it.

[Kim Whitley]

Y house.

[Sarah Colonna]

Order it, and you have to. Or order it in September or else they sell out.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do we have it for this year?

[Sarah Colonna]

Still have half of one left from last year.

[Kim Whitley]

Wait, is that the. You're talking about the scent that goes in the holiday? I need to know the machine because there is a company that once you order, like, the smaller one, they're like, do you want the bigger one. We'll send it to you for free. It's the craziest thing, because I think they want you to buy the scent.

[Jeff Lewis]

Here's the racket, though.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh.

[Jeff Lewis]

So I was. Because I was at the Furniture Mart, and I walked in the showroom, and the scent was amazing. And I said, what is this? And so I found the manufacturer. It was a couple thousand dollars for the machine.

[Kim Whitley]

Right.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. So you get over that. Right? It stings a bit. You purchase it. But the scents. How much are the scents?

[Sarah Colonna]

They're like 300.

[Jeff Lewis]

$300 to replace the scent?

[Kim Whitley]

Let me explain something. You better go down there on Slauson to one of them brothers selling that oil, and you put that in the machine. That's what I've done.

[Jeff Lewis]

How long does this scent last? It does last a long time.

[Sarah Colonna]

Like two months?

[Jeff Lewis]

No, it lasts longer than that.

[Sarah Colonna]

Like three.

[Lunel]

That's.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think three to six.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. And. Okay, so everyone will ask me. So I'll say it's the air aroma is with the company, and. But it's like a whole to do. You have to go. Go through their storefront in New York to order it, and then they mail it to us.

[Kim Whitley]

You have to go to the store.

[Jeff Lewis]

You have to call them because they make it so difficult. You want it more. It's like an air. It's like a Birkin.

[Kim Whitley]

Now I need. I don't have my phone. I have to write this down. Can you write that down?

[Sarah Colonna]

I'll text it now.

[Jeff Lewis]

Kim, do you do a live. Like Chris, you do like a fresh, live Christmas tree, or do you do a fake Christmas tree?

[Kim Whitley]

Hold up. Watch the judgment. When you said the fake Christmas tree. I don't like the way you said that.

[Jeff Lewis]

Sorry.

[Kim Whitley]

I actually have. I do both. I don't want the wrong answer. It depends on the year. And my son is getting older, so I was like, what do you care about a Christmas tree? But I do the. The. Sometimes I've done the natural, but I have a fake one I've had, but it's so old, my mother gave it to me probably 25 years ago. It was probably when fake Christmas trees first came out. It was in a box, and I put it up every year, and everyone's like, why don't you get a new tree? It's not like the old tree. They don't make them like that.

[Jeff Lewis]

I got a. Okay. So I like a live tree because I like the smell. But since I got the scent machine with the cancer pine fragrance, I now can buy a fake Tree.

[Lunel]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

So I bought a fake tre tree. Came two years ago. It is gorgeous. And the lights already in it.

[Kim Whitley]

The lights are already in it and they don't have.

[Jeff Lewis]

What is the name? Where did we get it?

[Kim Whitley]

Yeah, I need that name too.

[Sarah Colonna]

Balson Hill, I think.

[Lunel]

Oh yeah.

[Kim Whitley]

These names of places with it. So how much was the tree? $3,000. Also.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't think it was. I think it was 1500.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, it was like. It wasn't.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, it wasn't. I wouldn't have paid 3.

[Sarah Colonna]

It was maybe $2,500 off something like that.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, they are paying you way too much on this show.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't think I paid.

[Kim Whitley]

No, they are. We're going to talk. I'm talking to the people, but I.

[Jeff Lewis]

Don'T think I paid 2,500 for a fake tree. I think I paid 1500.

[Lunel]

No, I think you probably paid more.

[Jeff Lewis]

He's gonna look it up for you.

[Kim Whitley]

Kim, because I have to understand, you're one of those.

[Jeff Lewis]

What?

[Kim Whitley]

Very particular. Yes, you are particular dude. Jeff. Yeah, he.

[Lunel]

That's crazy talk.

[Kim Whitley]

No, he is. Listen to his sheets.

[Jeff Lewis]

Jeff also got an organic real Christmas tree one year for $1,000. Yeah, we got taken.

[Kim Whitley]

Who sold you an organic. Aren't all trees organic? Are you? I'm trying to understand who's got you.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, they saw me coming.

[Lunel]

Wait, that's a really good point.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know.

[Kim Whitley]

Did you eat it later? I didn't understand. Jeff.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't get it either.

[Kim Whitley]

I gotta come with you.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know they see me coming. $1,000. They said it's organic. I'm like, oh, if it's organic. Yeah, I thought it was safer. No pesticides. How much? 1,500. Yeah, see that's kind of the threshold.

[Sarah Colonna]

And that was a nine footer and it'll last years and years.

[Kim Whitley]

Nine footers is good though.

[Jeff Lewis]

You've gotta get one. That's the tree you gotta get.

[Kim Whitley]

Okay, that sounds like it's good.

[Jeff Lewis]

They should give us a.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, she's 25 years and it's gorgeous every year.

[Kim Whitley]

Yeah, it's old as dirt.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't know. Take. I'm gonna send you a picture of my tree.

[Kim Whitley]

Please do. You both are talking about all the things you're gonna send me. You don't even have my phone number. You're liars. Both of you are liars.

[Lunel]

Shane probably has it.

[Sarah Colonna]

I'll all get it.

[Kim Whitley]

I need all the information.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you've been in this business a long time.

[Kim Whitley]

You don't have to say it like That I really don't like sitting across from you. I've been in the business. Yeah, you're right. A long time.

[Jeff Lewis]

And it's funny because Lunel is coming in the second hour. So if she's on time, you'll run into her. You know her. You worked with her.

[Kim Whitley]

She's been my friend. Oh, yeah. She's been my friend for many years. I actually am her substitute, which sounds crazy, but I am her substitute for her gig in Vegas. She goes on vacation, January, February from her Jimmy Kimmel spot.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Kim Whitley]

And I come in and I take her spot so she can go relax and do all the things she wants to do.

[Jeff Lewis]

Where's she go?

[Kim Whitley]

I did it last year. Last time she was like Kim. She was doing shows, other places. She went on a trip. She just goes and relax because she has to be there every week. Sunday, Monday. And I know. I did it for eight weeks. I can't imagine doing it for the whole year.

[Lunel]

It's a fun club, but that's a lot.

[Jeff Lewis]

Aren't you going there?

[Lunel]

I'm doing Brad Garrett's club.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, okay.

[Lunel]

August 18th through the 24th in Vegas.

[Jeff Lewis]

And then where do people go for tickets?

[Lunel]

Sarahcolona.com and you can also come see me In San Antonio, August 15th in the Woodlands, August 14th.

[Kim Whitley]

But where do people go?

[Lunel]

Sarahcolona.com C O L O N N A. You gonna go on there later?

[Kim Whitley]

Are you funny?

[Lunel]

I am.

[Kim Whitley]

I'd like to see you.

[Lunel]

Yes.

[Kim Whitley]

How funny you. Because your ring says you're hilarious.

[Jeff Lewis]

She married an NFL football player.

[Kim Whitley]

Did you?

[Lunel]

I did.

[Kim Whitley]

Wow. Good job.

[Lunel]

Thank you.

[Jeff Lewis]

She used to be on Chelsea lately.

[Kim Whitley]

Ah, yes. Yes.

[Lunel]

Yeah, I worked on Chelsea Lady. Why don't we do another one?

[Kim Whitley]

It'd be me and you.

[Lunel]

Oh, my God. We should.

[Kim Whitley]

We should have late night.

[Lunel]

That's one thing they need to do.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did you just go to Cabo Kim?

[Kim Whitley]

No.

[Jeff Lewis]

I saw a post with you on a balcony for your birthday.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, my birthday. I was. No, let's talk about it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Was it Cabo?

[Kim Whitley]

No, it was Kibo. I was on my way. I was on my way to a cruise out of Miami. Got there, flew at Dunn Houston, did my comedy show. I had to get on the plane at five in the morning. I guess I gotta make the boat. Me and my son is. My girlfriend. She's flying my son from Los Angeles overnight. We all get there. We get there and we get a text. The propeller is broken on the ship. No, we're gonna put you up in a hotel until we fix it. So we go to the hotel that night. You know, we gotta cancel the cruise. Can't fix the propeller. No. And it was all these women. It was an international pageant I was judging, and it was my son's only vacation because I said, you gotta do summer school, but I'm gonna take you on this cruise. He was so excited. So whatever. Balcony. I was probably trying to kill myself. Oh, yeah. You know where that is? Do you know? I am on the balcony. It was on my birthday. But that is the famous balcony of the famous Tom Joyner, the disc jockey. Radio host. For years he was out. He's out of Chicago, but me and Sherri shepherd did his show in the mornings. Tom Joyner, been doing it for years, but he's so rich. He was.

[Jeff Lewis]

He's got a Jacuzzi on his.

[Kim Whitley]

On the balcony.

[Jeff Lewis]

On the balcony overlooking the ocean.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, not only is it Jacuzzi, we're up there, like, on the 25th floor. Guess what else? Yes. What? His car, His Rolls Royce. Whatever. There's a garage upstairs, and it has its own elevator. I said, wait, the car. You get in your car, get on the elevator and takes you downstairs, and you drive off and go about your business.

[Lunel]

Oh, my God.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wait, is his car on the 25th floor?

[Kim Whitley]

His car is on the 25th floor. Everyone's car is in their condo. Everyone has their. The people that were in that building, it was. I think Cash Money Millionaire was over there. It was. So I was like, no, it's ridiculous.

[Lunel]

Where is that? Where. Where is it?

[Kim Whitley]

That's in Miami. On Miami Beach.

[Jeff Lewis]

So when you left, did you get in the Rolls Royce and go down the elevator?

[Kim Whitley]

I did not. I wanted to.

[Jeff Lewis]

I would.

[Kim Whitley]

I should have said, can I please ride this big elevator? But when you get in the lobby, what was interesting, and you can't take any pictures there. People at the desk, they're like, no. No pictures. Because I guess the celebrities and people that live there. Oh, look at us. Yes. That's my group. We all did not get on the ship.

[Lunel]

That's all the people right on our Instagram. All the people that didn't get what I was.

[Kim Whitley]

I love that Tom Joyner made my birthday for me. I just happened to call him. I was like, I'm in Miami. I was supposed to get on the ship. He's like, why don't you come on over? You know, Kay is here. That's his chef. I was like, what? He said, how many of you guys? I was like, it's like eight of us. He said, come on, over when I tell you. We went over the food. She had all this food ready for us, the bar. And then they were bringing stuff from upstairs. We partied. And he's a DJ for, what, 50 years or whatever, so he played all the music. We're out on the balcony dancing, and my son really had a good time. And we. And I'm looking at this book. This is what's so crazy. I thought, you know, you looked on his table and I thought these books were magazines. Cause they were so stacked up. No, these are books from all his travel. Like, that's the safari. This was from. Yeah. And he just got back. He goes on concerts. He said, I'm retired now, so he'll go see Beyonce in London. He went to see. He was in. Where did he say he was? In Germany. He was just all over the place. And they make a book from there.

[Jeff Lewis]

We should get a book from Phoenix and a book from Dallas.

[Sarah Colonna]

Orange County.

[Kim Whitley]

Okay, hilarious.

[Lunel]

I'm going to see Nine Inch Nails in Portland. I'm gonna make a book of that.

[Kim Whitley]

Okay. So. Okay. A little much, but that's. That was.

[Jeff Lewis]

I wish we could drive my car in the house and then take the elevator to the second floor.

[Sarah Colonna]

You have to park outside, let alone on the 24th floor.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't even have a garage, Kim.

[Kim Whitley]

You don't have a what? Where do you live?

[Jeff Lewis]

I live over by the Beverly center right now. But then I'm moving to another house with no garage.

[Kim Whitley]

So what is this? With no garage? That's for everything.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think the thing is, because a lot of these older homes, they have the garages in the back, and then people convert them into ADUs, or they just knock them down altogether.

[Kim Whitley]

True. Do you have a carport?

[Jeff Lewis]

So the house I live in now, the carport is kind of a three. It's two walls and a ceiling. It's a gym now. And then the new house has no garage. They knocked it down. But I have a really big backyard as a result. Okay, but I don't have a tennis court like you, Kim.

[Kim Whitley]

Well, it's not all that it's cracked up to be. Why I got a ghetto tennis court.

[Jeff Lewis]

What are you talking about?

[Kim Whitley]

After the fires were. The fight, the windstorm. See, people don't understand how strong that wind. The wind tore up my. You know the stuff that goes around the tennis court? The. The screening?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh. Ripped it to shreds. That's how strong this wind was. I'm talking to my insurance company now. It just ripped it up. So I didn't get it fixed yet. It's very ghetto. And my pool is green right now.

[Jeff Lewis]

It is. Do you not have a pool, man?

[Kim Whitley]

The filter broke. I'm waiting on the homeowners to come. People come to my house. They're like, wow, your career is doing really well. The tennis court is raggedy. The pool is green. It's a lot going on.

[Lunel]

But you have a tennis court. So. I mean.

[Kim Whitley]

Right, But. Well, look at the holes.

[Lunel]

Oh, look at this.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, there it is. Y' all are looking at the holes. Yeah. How does it. This is. How'd y' all get this?

[Sarah Colonna]

We're tapped into your camera.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, yep, that's. You are tapped into my.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, it's tarant.

[Kim Whitley]

It ripped it up. It ripped it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you using the tennis court or your son? Like, what do you play?

[Kim Whitley]

Huh?

[Lunel]

Do you play?

[Kim Whitley]

Look how my girlfriend's looking at the doll. She's like, what in the world? Look at the wind.

[Lunel]

This is on your Instagram, is it?

[Kim Whitley]

Let this get on here.

[Jeff Lewis]

Where did you get a video of her tennis court?

[Lunel]

It's on her Instagram.

[Kim Whitley]

That must have Instagram. We must have showed it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Time the fire matches. That's nice. Do you use the lights?

[Kim Whitley]

I do use the lights, but we have a. And also a basketball court over here. But let me explain to you. I should play tennis. You're right. Black people do play tennis. But let me tell you what black people use their tennis court for.

[Jeff Lewis]

What?

[Kim Whitley]

During the pandemic, this was. Let me tell you what this was a roller skating rink. Okay. This was a park. This was a testing area to come get your co. Test before you come in the house. This right here is. But that's. We. It's. We roller skate. Had a roller skating party. We do that. I have a volleyball net up against the wall. I have a pickleball net. So I bring them out.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you had a super spreader roller skate party.

[Kim Whitley]

Absolutely. But we had a tester in the front. We test you before you came in.

[Jeff Lewis]

I did, too. I had a super spreader accidentally. We had a. We had a nurse.

[Kim Whitley]

We had a nurse. Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

Didn't work. Some. Somebody got in, slipped through.

[Kim Whitley]

The.

[Jeff Lewis]

Slipped through. And then most people got sick.

[Kim Whitley]

Yeah.

[Lunel]

How many.

[Kim Whitley]

I made people sign waivers. I said, and if you do get sick?

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, we didn't do the waiver.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, I had a waiver.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now there's probably a class action.

[Lunel]

I mean, that is. You have to have a waiver to go to your house.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, absolutely.

[Lunel]

Oh, and you're giving him shit about A fifteen hundred dollar tree. He had a court, a tennis court.

[Kim Whitley]

Look at the pool. This is from the wind. You see the pool?

[Jeff Lewis]

Is that your house? The white one?

[Kim Whitley]

No, this is my house. It's from the backyard.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, yeah, the pool.

[Lunel]

This is.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, you know why this is? This was showing that the wind was during the fire.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, but the pool looks a little better than that now.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, no. The pool's worse than this. Are you kidding me? You can't see the bottom?

[Jeff Lewis]

How long have you owned the house?

[Kim Whitley]

I've had the house maybe seven years now. This is hilarious.

[Jeff Lewis]

The wind torque everything with all that property. That's a lot of upkeep.

[Kim Whitley]

That's exactly the problem. And I'm ready to move.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. Between the water bill, the elect. Your DWP bill must be exorbitant.

[Kim Whitley]

I want to talk about it. I never check it, but look at that wind. It's scary.

[Jeff Lewis]

Who pays your bills?

[Kim Whitley]

My business managers. I should check.

[Jeff Lewis]

You should ask.

[Kim Whitley]

No, I really am probably gonna have to come become a prostitute soon. But it. I really.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, you look really good, actually. You could probably do well as a prostitute.

[Kim Whitley]

They don't want this old ass.

[Jeff Lewis]

You'd be surprised. People that really into milfs.

[Kim Whitley]

Really?

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, yeah. I'm. You're dating, right?

[Kim Whitley]

What?

[Jeff Lewis]

You're not dating. Come on, you're dating.

[Kim Whitley]

No. You got somebody for me? I mean, I. Maybe I don't.

[Jeff Lewis]

What do you mean maybe? Oh, so you're looking elsewhere.

[Kim Whitley]

No, I just don't. I don't take a. Like, it's not like, you know, you go eat and then you date. Like, I don't make it a habit. Figure this out. If I see somebody.

[Lunel]

You don't go to dinner. You're saying you just.

[Kim Whitley]

Yeah, I just. Right. I don't know how to do that.

[Lunel]

Right.

[Kim Whitley]

But I do know how to go to the comedy club, meet a young comic and be like, come on. No, I don't. Yeah. No, I don't. I don't.

[Jeff Lewis]

They're chuckle Fuckers.

[Lunel]

More in a hookup.

[Kim Whitley]

Not even. I'm older now. I don't really like the hookup either. Because then the hookup falls in love and now I'm mad. Don't call me. Is this wrong?

[Jeff Lewis]

No, it's not wrong at all.

[Kim Whitley]

Okay, look, Hilaire, I saw your eyebrow. I mean, it's.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you judging her?

[Kim Whitley]

He was a judgment. Oh.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh. That was a judgy look.

[Kim Whitley]

It did. I mean, I would date. I would date. I have a 14 year old. It's been hard to date with a kid.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Kim Whitley]

Because then he. Who's this? Then you bring. The other day, he said, a friend of mine came in town and he said to him, he said. He said, are you a police officer, too? I said, you little.

[Lunel]

Oh, my God, that's hilarious.

[Kim Whitley]

Is that not a little?

[Lunel]

Because he's old enough that he can rat you out.

[Kim Whitley]

He did.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Lunel]

That's your job.

[Kim Whitley]

I was like, excuse you.

[Jeff Lewis]

And was the guy like, who's the other police officer?

[Kim Whitley]

He was like. I said, you know, I got so many friends. Oh, he's a mess. He's a mess.

[Jeff Lewis]

So are you meeting people at the clubs then?

[Kim Whitley]

I do, but I don't. I've never really paid attention to people. I'm a workaholic. I work and I keep. And if someone says I don't. You have to be a very strong man to come up to. Mostly Pisces, that's who. Usually the ones, okay. That break through some leos that feel strong enough to say hello. All you got to do is say hello. I'm easy.

[Jeff Lewis]

Why not Aries? Because you're Aries. You're strong. I'm Aries. Why not Aries?

[Kim Whitley]

Aries. Some Aries might be the third. But I have friends like Caroline Ray is my best friend. Aries. I love Aries. Male Aries become more friends. They're still not. Aries are still not that. They're not that, let's say, bold. They're not going to break through if they see you over there in a crowd with three, four, or five people. But they want to talk to you. They're not. They'll wait and then they'll leave. They will not go over and say, excuse me, I just wanted to say hello. I want to make sure I met you. Or, let me give you my number. Maybe we can talk one day. That's what I need.

[Jeff Lewis]

Have you had a negative experience with Aries? Because I have with Jameson.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh.

[Jeff Lewis]

And I have with Jeff. So have you had. Ever had a negative experience with Aries?

[Kim Whitley]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Really?

[Kim Whitley]

When I was younger, he took my bike and never brought it back. I'll never forget it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Really? Never brought it back.

[Kim Whitley]

Yeah. He was my great friend. That was the first time I really was like, oh, is it Aries? But we are best friends.

[Lunel]

And that's why you don't like them anymore. That's why you don't like a male Aries.

[Kim Whitley]

They took your bike and they're kind of whorish. Aries. Oh, I'm so.

[Lunel]

Yeah, that checks out, actually.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know a whorish Aries who took.

[Jeff Lewis]

My sanity and never brought it back. But hold on, Kim. What is his nickname?

[Kim Whitley]

I can't say it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes you can.

[Lunel]

Just say Papb.

[Kim Whitley]

Pass the bottom around the club. That's what it is. All right.

[Jeff Lewis]

Will you please correct me?

[Lunel]

Pass around.

[Jeff Lewis]

Party bottom, Papb.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, pass around. It's just for funsies. It's for funsies.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, but your theory is correct in his case.

[Kim Whitley]

Ah, the Aries.

[Jeff Lewis]

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[Kim Whitley]

46 is good. Yeah.

[Lunel]

Twinsies.

[Jeff Lewis]

So Joshua is his name?

[Kim Whitley]

Yes. Right.

[Jeff Lewis]

And he's a teenager now.

[Kim Whitley]

He is a teenager.

[Jeff Lewis]

And I'm just curious, I mean, if you could explain to everyone what happened, because I thought it was kind of remarkable how he came into your life.

[Kim Whitley]

Absolutely remarkable. Well, you know, I was going about my business, you know, being a comedian and an actress and. But I, you know, was mentoring and dealing with young ladies, and one of them had a baby, and she left him at the hospital after she gave birth and put my name, I guess, on his toe. I don't know. The hospital called me and said, we have your baby. And I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. And they're like, no such and such. She left and she left her name. She said, you're gonna take the baby. I was like, wait, wait, hold up. I'm just sitting here drinking some Jack and Coke. Everybody's not taking care of no baby. What do you mean? And. And thank God my parents were in town, because my mother's like, wait, hold up. You know, see what they're saying. I'm thinking, I'm a comedian. I hung up on the lady, the social worker that called, because I thought it was a comedian trying to be funny. And I was like, whatever, and hung up. And the lady called back. She was like, ah, this is not a joke. This is serious. You need to pick up this baby or it's going to go in the system. I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. And my mother, God rest her soul, she said, come here. You know, you don't think I never lived my life with numbers, my age, nothing. I just live and just stay youthful and happy and just have a good time in life. She pulled me aside, basically. She was like, Ben, you are 109 years old. You have no kids. You don't have a man. She said, go get that baby. I was like, for what? She said, because you have. What else are you living for? What else are you doing? I was like, I can't get a man. I can have a baby. I got one egg left. She was like, no, no, you don't. She was like, it's time. And thank God she did. And the social worker, they brought brought the baby over. Weirdest thing. I was like, you gonna give me the baby? It's not a puppy. Just gonna give me this child. And they had instructions and they kept saying. She said, I don't know who she is, but they were like, she said, they had a big plastic, like, trash bag, it was clear, had a bunch of diapers in it and had a little bitty bottles of formula. I was like, what in the world? They were like, feed the baby every two hours with this. And here's some ointment for the. You know, where the umbilical cord is. And here's some diapers. Goodbye. I said, wait a minute. And before we. Before they brought the baby, they said, you have two hours. You gotta have a car seat and a bassinet. And my daddy was there. He looking for the bassinets from the 1950s. We're in the store. He was like, they don't have those white, little round bassinet, little wicker bass. I was like, daddy, they don't make those anym. We get that. We get there. He's four days old, and that was it. I have a son and his name is Joshua. Had to name him. It was a lot.

[Lunel]

Do you know who left. Do you know who left him?

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Lunel]

You know who was.

[Kim Whitley]

Yeah, I know who she is.

[Lunel]

Are you still in contact?

[Kim Whitley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, well, how you gonna leave me a child? And she couldn't. She couldn't do it. But I look at, you know, God does things for a reason. That was, for me. It changed my life, slowed me down, made me focus, you know, and really have a purpose in life. Comedy's fine, acting's fine. We can get. But putting into a child and making sure he's a good human being is a whole nother ballgame.

[Jeff Lewis]

He's a handsome boy.

[Kim Whitley]

Thank you.

[Jeff Lewis]

And so he. No, he's 14. So is he a freshman?

[Kim Whitley]

He is on his way to high school this year.

[Jeff Lewis]

He starts high school.

[Kim Whitley]

He starts high school. Very difficult because it happens so fast. And you're like, what do you do? Like, you got to teach him all these things. And I'm like, I only have a few more years left before he's not going to listen to me. And then he goes to college or whatever he's going to decide to do, he's not going to listen. Last night, I tried to make him listen. I was like, you're going to eat this spaghetti right now. And he was like, I don't want it. I said, you eat it. Then. The only thing I was like, give me your phone. That's the only thing I can control him with. I was like, you taste the spaghetti. Just trying to get him to taste things.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Lunel]

I feel like I would just hold over his head. I would Just be like, well, you would have been in the system if it wasn't for me.

[Jeff Lewis]

I would do that all the time.

[Lunel]

So you eat that fucking spaghetti right now. That's what I would say every day.

[Jeff Lewis]

I saved your life.

[Sarah Colonna]

You're going back to the hospital.

[Kim Whitley]

You're going back to the hospital.

[Jeff Lewis]

You got lucky because your parents were there to help you for the first. Was it first three months?

[Kim Whitley]

Yes. Thank God. Because he would not have made it. I didn't know. I mean, I babysat, but I did not know. I fell asleep with him. He was sliding. He went from my chest down. My father woke up in the middle of the night, almost crushed the baby. He was in between my legs. He had slid down. My father grabbed him before he hit the floor. There was a lot of things like that. They said, oh, we have to stay here. She doesn't know what she's doing. You know, just different things. So I was really thankful that they were there to help me.

[Lunel]

And you hadn't intended to have children at all, Were you sort of like, I don't want to.

[Kim Whitley]

I did. I tried to. Oops. A couple football players didn't.

[Jeff Lewis]

So did Sarah. Yeah, she didn't even get pregnant. And it worked.

[Lunel]

No, I still got one egg left too, I think, but I think it's kind of drying up.

[Kim Whitley]

Mine was coughing.

[Jeff Lewis]

But is it true that your mother passed away not too long after that?

[Kim Whitley]

Craziest thing you've ever heard. So that's why I say again, you know, maybe the baby came into my life because, you know, God and the universe knew, hey, you're going to need this. Because you're absolutely right. Every time he cried once, my mother died six months later. Every time I thought I was going to die without my mother, like, I just wanted to give up. He would cry. I would hear. Every time. I was like, oh. Oh. It snapped me out of, I gotta let me go feed him or take care of him. It really, I would say saved me, but it was how things happen.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you think that you would have taken the baby if your mother wasn't there at that time?

[Kim Whitley]

Hell, no.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, Hell no. So it was kind of like. It was very interesting that, you know, she kind of helped facilitate this gift and then moved on.

[Kim Whitley]

Yes, she absolutely did, because there is no. It was too scary. I had goosebumps when they were like, take the baby. I was like, the baby? What do I do? How do I. Like, I couldn't even think, like, what do you do? My house is not ready. There's. I Got dogs and people and men coming over. It was not that kind of life. And I travel. What do you do? And it was just very scary. And you're absolutely right. I might not have done that, but that was my mother's way of. Because one thing I believe in miracles. One thing is when she had a stroke, she was in the hospital. And I brought Joshua with me to Cleveland, and we were, you know, she was in intensive care. And they were like, baby can't come in. Or, you know, whatever the case is. But maybe second day, I remember the nurse was like, take the baby in. And my mother was just laying there, you know. Now I bring the baby in, Joshua, and my mother raises up out of the bed, and she makes this noise. And she reaches to him. She's like, uh, uh. And she reaches her hand out. The nurse is like, what the hell? And I bring him over to her, and she touches him, grabs him. It was like a transfer of spirits, because then she laid back down. And never after that, that was it. She never said anything. Never did anything after that. And the nurse was like, oh, what just happened? What was. How did she. I said, she absolutely loves this baby. Whatever that was, that was the thing. Because even after that, I thought. I really thought my son knew my mother. And I was like, how could she? Probably. He was only six months old. Because on the TV show when we did Called Raisin Whitley, the cameramen, it shook them. They're filming, and Joshua's in the bed. He's three years old, I think. He looks up and he starts pointing and he says, kk. KK is my mother's name. And you could see them shake. The cameramen, like, shook. And they just said, you know, you can hear the producer. Stay on them, stay on them. And he's just pointing in the sky and smiling and waving. We're like, what? What's happening? His year, birthday, he's in the crib. We're having a birthday party. Never wants to go to bed. He's screaming and crying. Early. We put him in the bed. We're looking at the baby monitor. We're in the kitchen, which is not far. This is my older house, smaller house, doors closed, baby sleep. Why do I see a woman with a white shirt on, collar up, just like my mom would wear curly hair, bending over the crib. On the monitor, me and his dad, Rodney, were looking. We said, oh. But we're like, of course. Your mind is saying, it has to be somebody from the party. We run in there. No one. Baby's fast. Asleep. I said, oh my God. I said, what? Let me tell you something. So that's when I start saying, okay, all right. Yeah, so definitely I believe in that spirits. Spirits and miracles. And that was for me, so I could go on with life. And you know, my brothers and daddies, like she ain't never visit me. I said, she didn't like you.

[Jeff Lewis]

There was something that there's a routine that you have with your son that I related to. Because during the day it's very chaotic, right. I'm in, I'm out. There's other people in the house. There's a lot of people in my house. And then the only time that Monroe and I or my daughter are alone is really like from 8pm until she goes to bed. So you've said that right before your son goes to bed, you go in and the lights are off and you talk to him about anything. Anything but the lights are off.

[Kim Whitley]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

And you find that that is the time that you connect with him. Yes, same thing. For me it's at the very end of the day and we've started this routine where I put lotion on her arms and her hands and her feet and her legs and we're talk while I do it. And it's just become the most intimate, connected time for us. And I related to that when I read that about you and your son.

[Kim Whitley]

I am so glad you reminded me to do that because I do forget. But how old is your daughter?

[Jeff Lewis]

She'll be nine in October.

[Kim Whitley]

Absolutely. I'm gonna start putting lotion on his feet and arms now.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, she loves it.

[Lunel]

She doesn't want me to leave.

[Jeff Lewis]

She doesn't want me to leave.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, he's gonna hate it. Stop touching me. You know, he's a 14 year old boy. But I love that you told me that I will do. I'm gonna find something physical or, you know, maybe I'll rub his hands. There has to be some kind of other connection. Yeah, I wanna, I wanna do. Because what I feel like is I'm losing him. And I say that because of the years a 14 year old, you know, teenager. We're not. There's nothing in common that he doesn't wanna hear what I have to say. But when the lights are off, they don't have to face you. That's why I read it in a parent magazine that with teenagers, teenagers, you just lay in the bed because it's like a confessional right now. They don't have to see you, they don't have to see the judgment like our guy.

[Lunel]

It's like a one night stand, you know, you have to keep the lights off so that they can't see you.

[Kim Whitley]

One night stands. I always gotta keep the lights off. I have never turned on the lights.

[Jeff Lewis]

The other suggestion I would make that I have done with clients that have maybe lost connection with their. With their kids is find what he's watching on TV and then start watching it with him, even though we don't like it. So we have this show that's about to end in two more episodes, and we have to find another show together, but we'll watch that together.

[Lunel]

What is the one that you're watching?

[Jeff Lewis]

Once upon a time. But we only have two episodes left of season seven. And then we have to find something else.

[Lunel]

Have you seen. Does she want to watch the Hunting Wives?

[Jeff Lewis]

She actually does want to watch the Hunting Wives.

[Lunel]

I want her to watch that.

[Jeff Lewis]

Last night I was watching finishing episodes. Oh, you have to watch it, Kim.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, really?

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you like lesbian sex?

[Lunel]

You'll be watching. It's one of those shows you watch with one hand. Kim.

[Kim Whitley]

Wait.

[Lunel]

What?

[Kim Whitley]

Wait a minute. It says hunting. Wait, what's going on?

[Jeff Lewis]

I know.

[Kim Whitley]

Wait, so they're not hunting? They're not like after deer.

[Lunel]

They're hunting pussy.

[Kim Whitley]

Are they? Are you? I thought it was like a hunting show with the guys and the camouflage on.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's what draws you in initially.

[Lunel]

And then they said it in Texas so they could call it something about hunting.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Lunel]

And then there's not.

[Jeff Lewis]

And you're right. You cannot watch it on a plane.

[Lunel]

No way.

[Jeff Lewis]

Because you look like a pervert.

[Lunel]

Oh, God. I started out on a plane and I. There was a. There was. Everything was out and there was.

[Jeff Lewis]

Kim, you'd love it.

[Kim Whitley]

Netflix show. The way they got the show stuff.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, yeah. Episode six, you get to see full eggplant emoji.

[Kim Whitley]

No.

[Jeff Lewis]

Full penis.

[Lunel]

Yeah.

[Kim Whitley]

Wait a minute. Hold up, hold up.

[Lunel]

The brother.

[Jeff Lewis]

The brother.

[Kim Whitley]

So there's no guns and hunting.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, there's a lot of guns and sex. Yeah, there's guns, guns and sex.

[Kim Whitley]

What is happening? Are you serious? That would have thrown me. I'm glad you told me. Hey, Joshua, let's sit down.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, no, don't watch that. No, no, no. Don't watch that with Joshua.

[Kim Whitley]

We're gonna watch Wednesday now, you said.

[Jeff Lewis]

But do watch Wednesday.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, yeah. I like that with him.

[Jeff Lewis]

I like Wednesday.

[Lunel]

There you go.

[Jeff Lewis]

So pick a couple shows and then it becomes, like, a thing.

[Kim Whitley]

Okay, I will.

[Sarah Colonna]

And now that he's older, you can do like. I remember that with my parents, I like being like 13, 14, watching like the grown up shows. But it's something that you'll like and he'll like. I love that.

[Kim Whitley]

Okay.

[Lunel]

Did he watch Happy Gilmore too?

[Kim Whitley]

He did watch Happy Gilmore too.

[Lunel]

It was so fun.

[Kim Whitley]

And he was like, mommy, you weren't funny.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know. They're so critical of us.

[Kim Whitley]

They are so critical.

[Lunel]

No wonder you want to talk to him with the lights off. You see that judgment?

[Kim Whitley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's never gone to my standup shows. Not yet. So we'll wait.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hopefully. Lunel's on her way.

[Sarah Colonna]

She texted Annie back and said that she has hit some traffic, but she says 9:55.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, we'll see.

[Kim Whitley]

Lies.

[Jeff Lewis]

We'll see. So, Kim Whitley, you just got invited to Sarah's summer party, which is a coveted invitation. We have been trying to get her to do this for months and months and months. The date is set. I think if anybody wants to go Saturday, August 30th. I'll provide the address now.

[Kim Whitley]

I'll provide the address.

[Jeff Lewis]

We got an Evite and I looked at it and I specifically wrote this down, but it's since been changed. The initial Evite said the party is between 12 and 2.

[Lunel]

I swear to God.

[Kim Whitley]

That's a joke.

[Jeff Lewis]

I mean, 12 and 2.

[Lunel]

If it did, it was a mistake. If I put. I did not put an end time. But I sometimes I think if you don't.

[Kim Whitley]

If you don't, it does it itself.

[Lunel]

It does it itself or something. Can you imagine? I can't believe you didn't tell me until this morning that I had 12 to 2.

[Jeff Lewis]

I was like, who throws a two hour party? You know, sometimes I like rolling in 30 minutes late. I just thought, oh, shit, I'm gonna have to be on time. The party's gonna end at two.

[Lunel]

It's a two hour party.

[Jeff Lewis]

I imported the details directly into my calendar and it said, you're ending it too. I was like, okay.

[Kim Whitley]

So.

[Lunel]

But I looked at it and I couldn't find. I don't see it any. Oh, I got it.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, we'll be gone by 10.

[Kim Whitley]

Start at 12.

[Lunel]

I know, I know. Well, we want it. I don't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's early.

[Sarah Colonna]

I like a daytime party.

[Lunel]

Yeah, we want it. We figured 12, because really people come at one. Yeah, it's on the Saturday. It's Labor Day weekend. It turns out a lot of people are out of town. So you can definitely come because I got.

[Kim Whitley]

Wow. But if they weren't out of town, we have. Oh, I'm coming to see the pool now.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh. Cause it's. You have a filter that works.

[Lunel]

We do have a filter that works, but it was a struggle for a minute.

[Kim Whitley]

Understood.

[Lunel]

This summer. Cause our tree kept on.

[Kim Whitley]

I want to see if your husband has any old retired football players. Divorced?

[Lunel]

Oh, yeah, There's a few divorced ones that we know.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're going to have to fight me for them though.

[Kim Whitley]

I have no problem.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, 12 to 2 is a weird time. I thought about that.

[Lunel]

It's not 12 to 2. It's at 12.

[Jeff Lewis]

But why are you doing like a 4 to 8?

[Lunel]

Because I thought it was a daytime party.

[Kim Whitley]

It's gonna be hot because you know where she lives. There's a lot of mosquitoes. Nobody wants to be there at 8.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, Sherman Oaks. Known for their mosquitoes.

[Lunel]

We are known for our mosquitoes. We got our yard sprayed. It seems to be helping. Yeah. Mosquitoes are bad in the valley. They really are.

[Kim Whitley]

They like dropped off the mosquito killers. They're killer mosquitoes. I'm telling you.

[Jeff Lewis]

You know what I'm gonna do? Shane, are you going?

[Sarah Colonna]

I think so.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think we just rub him in honey.

[Kim Whitley]

We rub him in honey and they will follow him.

[Jeff Lewis]

He's the human fly trap. We rub him in honey, and then all the mosquitoes go to him. So that way they don't go on us.

[Lunel]

They will actually go to John. They like eat John alive. So if I'm next to him. Yeah. So my husband will take all the mosquitoes for you.

[Jeff Lewis]

I will stand next to John then. But 12 to 2.

[Lunel]

It's not 12 to 2.

[Jeff Lewis]

Even 12 to 4.

[Lunel]

It's 12 to whenever.

[Jeff Lewis]

I mean, you just can't get much done during the day.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, a day party is perfect. I want to go home at 6 and be.

[Jeff Lewis]

I was thinking it starts at 2. But it's not my party.

[Sarah Colonna]

You can go at 2.

[Lunel]

It's not your party.

[Jeff Lewis]

I can't go at 2.

[Lunel]

You can do.

[Jeff Lewis]

Everyone will be leaving.

[Lunel]

No, it's really not.

[Jeff Lewis]

And then what will you be serving, food wise? So Kim and I would like to know.

[Lunel]

We're going to have hamburgers and hot dogs. We have someone coming to grill it and we'll supply it and then he'll cook. So that.

[Kim Whitley]

That's all y'. All. Aren't y' all rich? Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

What else is besides the hamburgers and hot dogs? Like, what do I get with a hamburger?

[Sarah Colonna]

What about like an ice cream truck?

[Kim Whitley]

Truck.

[Lunel]

We're gonna have a full bar.

[Jeff Lewis]

Any potato salad?

[Kim Whitley]

No.

[Lunel]

Yes. Of course we'll have potato salad.

[Kim Whitley]

Hold on, hold up. Who's making the potato salad?

[Lunel]

I make really good potato salad. I'm from the South.

[Kim Whitley]

Okay. Okay. Yeah. You don't put raisins in it or nothing crazy?

[Lunel]

Oh, no.

[Kim Whitley]

Okay, so you make real potatoes?

[Lunel]

Yeah, I make real potatoes. I put mustard and things like that.

[Jeff Lewis]

You just gotta get that early on because you don't want that sitting in the sun all day.

[Kim Whitley]

Right.

[Lunel]

Well, it's over at 2, so I guess it can take as long as you get it.

[Jeff Lewis]

But you pick the hottest time of the day, it's gonna be 112 degrees.

[Lunel]

I know.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, lots of mosquitoes.

[Kim Whitley]

No, mosquitoes are late. But the daytime will be fine.

[Lunel]

It's a pool party.

[Kim Whitley]

Is it shave.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are people going in the pool?

[Lunel]

I don't know if they want to.

[Jeff Lewis]

Jameson will anytime to put in a Speedo. No, my comment says I'm not bringing a Speedo.

[Lunel]

I left a comment.

[Jeff Lewis]

Will not be so we'll have ridiculed. He doesn't understand, like, day parties don't mean you swim, right?

[Kim Whitley]

No, they don't.

[Jeff Lewis]

He will get in the pool. You know, it's like, it's a pool.

[Lunel]

Party and you show up and it's.

[Jeff Lewis]

Like everyone's in like, you know, designer head to toe. But, you know, la too. But then you still show up in your bathing suit and you're the only one in the pool. I want to swim, but I'm gonna swim.

[Lunel]

You can swim. You're allowed to swim.

[Jeff Lewis]

He's gonna be the only one in the pool.

[Lunel]

That's fine.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's cute.

[Kim Whitley]

Yeah.

[Lunel]

This is gonna be in there.

[Kim Whitley]

Do you have animals?

[Lunel]

I have a lot of cats.

[Kim Whitley]

Are they gonna be at the party?

[Lunel]

No. Well, they'll be. No, they'll be locked away in a room.

[Jeff Lewis]

Why? Are you allergic, Kim? Is that a problem?

[Kim Whitley]

No, no, no, no. I'm not allergic.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, good.

[Kim Whitley]

But my son is allergic. But it does. I like animals.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, on the Evite, it says there'll be no babysitters there, which means no children.

[Lunel]

It did say no children.

[Kim Whitley]

Oh, it does say no babies.

[Jeff Lewis]

It says no children. No babies.

[Lunel]

But your son's 14. You can bring him.

[Kim Whitley]

Yeah, no, he's too young.

[Lunel]

I just like to. I don't like that. I have friends with some young kids and people are gonna be drinking and there's a pool.

[Kim Whitley]

He wants kids, Right? At this age, he doesn't want to go to an adult party.

[Lunel]

Right.

[Jeff Lewis]

I thought was interesting when you said you flew to Miami, you had a friend fly with him. You won't let him get on a plane by himself.

[Kim Whitley]

Not yet.

[Jeff Lewis]

I won't either.

[Kim Whitley]

You won't? No, I don't.

[Jeff Lewis]

No. She has to be 25.

[Kim Whitley]

Exactly. And I know that's horrible to say, but I have not gotten to that.

[Jeff Lewis]

Nope.

[Kim Whitley]

Makes me.

[Lunel]

What age would you let him think about that?

[Kim Whitley]

18, 16, maybe? I will let him.

[Lunel]

You're 25.

[Kim Whitley]

But I'm still gonna have the people put a thing around his neck. He still has to be escorted right there, introduced to the pilot, flight attendant, first class, first seat. And somebody has to be at the gate to pick him up.

[Lunel]

My parents put me on a plane by myself when I was, like, seven.

[Kim Whitley]

Yeah, my brothers, too.

[Jeff Lewis]

But they're now saying 11A is the safest seat in the plane. Remember? Because a couple people have survived in 11A. So I just got back from Dallas, but the problem is first class only went to 5, so I did 5A because I thought I was close. That's as close to 11a as I'm gonna get.

[Kim Whitley]

I'll sit in coach in a minute. If that is the case, I will be in 11A. Look at me. Poor.

[Lunel]

Who survived in 11A? Is it that one where there's, like, everyone.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. Two people have survived in 11A. For some, except for our plane crashes, but still. I don't know.

[Kim Whitley]

Let's not talk about. I don't want the plane.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's economy.

[Lunel]

Yeah. Wouldn't you rather just die?

[Jeff Lewis]

Thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Jeff Lewis Ladd every weekday on SiriusXM as well as the Jeff Lewis Channel, exclusively on the SiriusXM app bundle and safe With Expedia, you were made to follow your favorite band, and from the front row, we were made to quietly save you more Expedia made to travel savings vary and subject to availability. Flight inclusive packages are atoll protected.

[Kim Whitley]

Hey, everybody, Conan o' Brien here with an ad about my podcast.

[Jeff Lewis]

Conan o' Brien needs a friend. I've had so many fantastic conversations with people I truly admire people like Michelle Obama, Bruce Springsteen, Maya Rudolph, Tom Hanks. New episodes are out every Monday and we have a really good time. So subscribe and listen wherever you get your podcasts.