
LaKendra Tookes, Zach Noe Towers, & Shane Douglas join Jeff Lewis in Los Angeles.
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Jeff Lewis
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Lakendra Tooks
When you're Jeff Lewis, the drama never stops.
Jeff Lewis
I don't need therapy. I don't need a prayer service. I need facts. Get to the point. She shut me down.
Zach Noe Towers
I know.
Jeff Lewis
She's like, I don't want this toxic man near me.
Lakendra Tooks
See?
Unnamed Speaker 1
You're a nice person.
Jeff Lewis
Don't tell anyone.
Lakendra Tooks
Well, nobody thinks it, so it doesn't matter. Jeff Lewis has issues.
Jeff Lewis
Hey, welcome to Jeff Lewis Has Issues. In today's episode, Lakendra Tooks and Zach Noe Towers join the show. We talk about baby chumps, new cars and pregnancy tests. All right, Le Kendra, I have been rethinking you working for me at the next Chump Con. Because after what happened at that pool party, I kind of feel like you need to host it.
Lakendra Tooks
Oh, my gosh.
Jeff Lewis
I mean, you are a lot of fun. You're totally unreliable and unprofessional, but you're a lot of fun.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Have a good time.
Lakendra Tooks
But I've told you, Jeff, I am gonna prove to you I can be y'all. I can be professional. Okay, Y'all. I can't be professional.
Jeff Lewis
Just not last, you know, two weekends ago.
Lakendra Tooks
Not two weekends ago. But you're gonna see. I'm gonna start carrying a briefcase. I'm gonna be Prof. I promise you.
Unnamed Speaker 2
And you really were one of the first chumps to kick off the karaoke party. Which I thank you for. I got it started. Monica got it started. But then you really kind of broke the ice. You broke the ice was because you're.
Unnamed Speaker 1
On the payroll for this last one, though.
Jeff Lewis
She was.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Okay, okay, okay, okay. Nevermind.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Well, she was a late addition. She was on the Payroll to do the crowd work. That was kind of her task.
Jeff Lewis
So let me tell you what's a big waste of time.
Lakendra Tooks
Oh, golly.
Zach Noe Towers
Uh.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, rehearsal.
Lakendra Tooks
Oh, no.
Jeff Lewis
I take Lakendra and Rick, and we walked through the whole audience because, you know, it was kind of amazing.
Unnamed Speaker 2
It was a big venue and it.
Jeff Lewis
Was hard to navigate. So it was very important that la Kendra get the lay of the land. And she's walking through, and you're kind of figuring out where you're gonna. Where you're gonna be and where Rick's gonna be. And we go over the whole run of show, and then we talk about, you know, meeting. You know, we're gonna meet in the conference room, and then we're all gonna walk together to backstage, to the green room. Yeah, yeah. I don't.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I didn't see Lacundra during any of those parts.
Jeff Lewis
Well, we thought it was clear. But look, I'm also a chump.
Lakendra Tooks
You.
Jeff Lewis
Yes, I understand you had a situation where you, you know, you had the opportunity to hook up with. There was something about that kid. I mean, I'm not interested because he's, you know, he's barely legal.
Lakendra Tooks
I thought he was your nephew.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Oh, I really did, Jeff, you were trying to be Lewis.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Now we see what's going on.
Lakendra Tooks
I want to make sure you can never get rid of me.
Jeff Lewis
I'm going to keep you away from my brothers.
Lakendra Tooks
You got brothers?
Unnamed Speaker 1
He was charming. He was charming for no good reason.
Lakendra Tooks
Yeah, he's a sweetie pie.
Jeff Lewis
How old did he tell you he was?
Lakendra Tooks
Old enough. He said, however old you want me to be.
Jeff Lewis
I remember. That was his line.
Lakendra Tooks
However old you want me.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Well, he had a drink in his hand. That's so I said, he must be 21.
Lakendra Tooks
That's how I always look. If you got a drink in your hand, you must be 21. If you got a tattoo, you must be 18. You know what I mean? So he had tattoos. He had a drink in his head. I said, he's legal.
Unnamed Speaker 1
He also had his mom there. To be clear. He also had his mom there.
Lakendra Tooks
And I love his mom.
Jeff Lewis
His mom's gorgeous.
Lakendra Tooks
So beautiful. She was giving me anti aging tips. His mom is absolutely beautiful. Yeah, it was great.
Jeff Lewis
Okay, so explain to us what happened. You make it to the pool party, you're having a great time.
Lakendra Tooks
Okay?
Jeff Lewis
You meet. We call him. We're calling him Baby Chump.
Lakendra Tooks
Y'all call him Baby Chump, but to me, he is not a baby. To me, he is a young man. He's a man.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Picture a baby in A polo and a backwards hat.
Lakendra Tooks
Oh, right.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Goo Goo Gaga.
Lakendra Tooks
Okay, here's what happened. Okay, Jeff, you saw the meeting. You saw when we. You know. And again, I did think he was your nephew. But then he told me, he's like, my mom's right over here. And I met his mom, and I adored his mom. I thought she was so cool. And then he and I, we were just chit chatting and laughing and talking. And I talk about this on my podcast. Took six. But what took us some time. We were waiting for a drink at the bar. And I'm telling you, Resorts World, we gotta pull the security footage. Because that bartender was so rude to us. He had us waiting forever for the.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Most expensive drinks I've ever heard of in my entire life.
Lakendra Tooks
And he had us waiting forever. In hindsight, I feel like that was God's way of saying, girl, don't drink. So we should have just.
Jeff Lewis
But you did drink.
Lakendra Tooks
But I did drink. I didn't eat enough. I wasn't eating enough. I was trying to be cute.
Jeff Lewis
You looked cute. That bikini bod looked great.
Lakendra Tooks
Thank you.
Jeff Lewis
But you can't eat.
Lakendra Tooks
Yeah, I have to eat, though. So next year, I. I've decided, y'all, I'm just not gonna drink. So I'm either.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Good luck.
Lakendra Tooks
I'm not either. Okay, so why don't we eat a.
Jeff Lewis
Little and then drink a little? See?
Lakendra Tooks
And I forgot to bring my fruit. I always have my fruit with me. And I have forgotten my fruit every day.
Unnamed Speaker 2
You can't forget the fruit.
Lakendra Tooks
I forgot my fruit.
Jeff Lewis
We could have ordered you some fruit.
Lakendra Tooks
And maybe I needed my apples.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Maybe Baby Chump's mom had a snack in her bag.
Lakendra Tooks
You know what? I should have goldfish in her purse for you. I should have said, mama, you got some fruit snacks? Like, what you got in that bag, mama? Yeah.
Jeff Lewis
So the pool party was how many hours?
Unnamed Speaker 2
Three hours.
Lakendra Tooks
Three hours.
Jeff Lewis
So it was 12 to three.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Exactly.
Lakendra Tooks
Yes. It was so much fun, too.
Jeff Lewis
At what point did you leave with Babychump?
Lakendra Tooks
I think we literally left at like 3:30. Because we went to the bar, like, at 3. That's why they can pull the security footage.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Yeah, we need the security footage at this point.
Jeff Lewis
Were you waiting for Saweetie?
Lakendra Tooks
Okay. And also, y'all gotta quit lumping me with Saweetie just cause we're two black girls. Somebody. What are we talking about? No, not you.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Go get your friends.
Lakendra Tooks
Somebody commented to me and was like, not the two black girls acting up at Chump Con. I was like, nah, hold up, hold up. I was in the audience. Okay? I made it to that audience. I don't know what's up with Saweetie, but I made it to the audience.
Jeff Lewis
But Saweetie was late.
Lakendra Tooks
See, she didn't make it to her job. I still made it. I just wasn't where I was supposed to be when I was supposed to be there. But I got where I was supposed to go. You know what I mean?
Jeff Lewis
Only because my manager noticed you in the audience at 6:55.
Lakendra Tooks
She. Ms. Liz. She was there. Ms. Liz.
Jeff Lewis
She was so stressed out.
Lakendra Tooks
Oh, my God. Ms. Liz, I owe you an edible Arrangement. I AM so sorry, Ms. Liz. I adore Ms. L. And yes, I think she probably just came and handed me a microphone and I was like, get up, let's go.
Jeff Lewis
I mean, you looked happy as can be in that audience. Just wait for the show to start.
Lakendra Tooks
And let me tell y'all something. The young man that y'all like to call Baby Chump, he's such a gentleman. He held my purse the whole time. He was really sweet. And he's really comfortable in his manhood. He wasn't afraid to carry a purse.
Unnamed Speaker 1
He was real sweet, considerate.
Jeff Lewis
Okay, so let me ask you this. When you leave at 3:30.
Lakendra Tooks
Yeah.
Jeff Lewis
Do you go back to your hotel room or Baby Chump's hotel room?
Lakendra Tooks
No, we went to the Mexican restaurant and ate a quesadilla. Oh. But we also had another margarita dose.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I ran into margaritas.
Jeff Lewis
Well, at least you're being honest.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Those big. They were big too. They were like the big travel mugs.
Unnamed Speaker 2
And you're small.
Lakendra Tooks
Thank you. Wow. Thank you, Shane. I am petite. So, yeah, we drank a little bit. We ate a little snack. In hindsight, we both were like, we should have eaten more. We should have gone and gotten like a. Like, we really needed some protein. But so, yeah. And then. Okay, so then I had to go decide what I was gonna. I had to go get changed. I still have my swimwear, so I had to go get changed. I didn't even know the dress code. Okay. Like, I felt so underdressed. Everybody looked so fabulous. And I had on jeans, you know, so now I know for next year. But, yeah, I really don't know what happened. I went to that. What's that place called? The hello Kitty.
Unnamed Speaker 2
So there was the platinum meet and greet from 5 to 6 at.
Jeff Lewis
You did make it to that?
Unnamed Speaker 1
You were there?
Unnamed Speaker 2
Well, she was there.
Lakendra Tooks
Oh, gosh.
Unnamed Speaker 2
So it started at 5.
Zach Noe Towers
She was there.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Physically, mentally, not so much.
Unnamed Speaker 2
I ran into you and young man chump at, like 5:04. And you told me, yeah, we're just gonna go upstairs and, you know, charge his phone, and then I'll see you for the live show.
Unnamed Speaker 1
You were gonna plug something in upstairs.
Unnamed Speaker 2
I was like, plug it in.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I don't know if it was a phone.
Jeff Lewis
Yeah, our good Christian girl over here.
Lakendra Tooks
Listen, I always say the Lord knows I am a handful, so he has a lot of grace with me. He's like, y'all, this is still my child. Okay, But. But no, no, we were. And then we had to. We did have to charge his phone. And then we had to help his mom decide, like, what shoes she was gonna wear and which purse she was gonna carry. Cause mom is so fabulous.
Jeff Lewis
At what point did sex happen?
Lakendra Tooks
Oh, my God, Jeff. I talk about this on my podcast. Took Stakes. But for real, I'm telling y'all the truth. This. This young man, total gentleman. We just, like, we hung out. I'm telling you. I promise y'all. I don't. I'm the worst liar. If I'm ever lying to you, Jeff, you will know.
Jeff Lewis
What about later? After the live show?
Lakendra Tooks
And after the live show, I'm telling y'all, we just hung out. We. We cuddled. We fell asleep. It's actually quite boring after the fact. It was quite boring because, yeah, he was a total gentleman because.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Did you feel it on your lower back at least?
Lakendra Tooks
Oh, Zach Z. Okay. You know, he's a handsome young man, and he's really sweet. He's really smart. He's about to graduate from college.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Oh, my God.
Lakendra Tooks
He is on his way. Got a bright future ahead of him.
Jeff Lewis
And are you included in this future at all?
Lakendra Tooks
You know what? Who knows? I am. You know, I've been on this journey with dating, and I don't really care about age, actually. I usually date guys that are my age or maybe a couple of years old or younger. And actually, probably my preference would be, like, an older guy. Like, kind of like a little cat daddy. I like a kind of older guy. But I got to tell you, sometimes these younger guys, they're. They're more willing to commit than the older guys, you know? So I am open. Like, I am open.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Have you talked since con. Have you been texting?
Lakendra Tooks
We've been in touch a little bit.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Where does he live?
Lakendra Tooks
He lives in Colorado.
Jeff Lewis
All right. Do you have any plans to see him soon?
Lakendra Tooks
Maybe. Maybe. Stay tuned.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Does he know about these plans?
Lakendra Tooks
Yes, he does.
Jeff Lewis
Is he making the plans, or are you making the plans?
Lakendra Tooks
He's making the plans. Come on, Jack. Now you know.
Jeff Lewis
Is he coming out to see you or is he flying you out to see him?
Unnamed Speaker 2
Are you going to graduation?
Lakendra Tooks
He does have. He would like to come to la. He would like to come here to visit.
Jeff Lewis
He just has to finish his finals.
Lakendra Tooks
Well, you know, he might have a.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Thesis due or, you know, he doesn't have a thesis.
Lakendra Tooks
Term paper. That could be.
Jeff Lewis
Is this why you posted a picture of you at church on Sunday after all shenanigans I did.
Lakendra Tooks
I had to go. But, you know, it was resurrection Sunday too. And, you know, the Lord just started resurrecting within me at Chubco.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Oh, I bet he did. I bet he erected all up in you.
Jeff Lewis
Did you. Did. Did you go to confession, like, or do you just pray?
Unnamed Speaker 1
Black people don't do.
Lakendra Tooks
Black people. We don't do confession. Rip to the Pope, but we don't do confession.
Jeff Lewis
Okay.
Lakendra Tooks
We just pray. Oh, I look so cute. Look at my Easter dress. I look so cute.
Jeff Lewis
You do look really cute.
Lakendra Tooks
And my hat, you know, I'm very southern, so on Easter, me and all the old ladies, we had on our big old hat.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah, adorable.
Lakendra Tooks
But. But no, I did, you know, honestly, Jeff, and I'm being real. Really what I was most concerned about is I was like, oh, my gosh, I don't want to upset Jeff. Like, I was so stressed about it. I was texting sh. I was stressed about it because I do want. You know, I love you, I really adore you and I'm so grateful to you. So I hope that you can, in the next year, I'll prove to you I'm professional.
Jeff Lewis
I find you amusing.
Lakendra Tooks
Okay.
Jeff Lewis
So that's actually a good thing. I always keep around the people that are entertaining.
Unnamed Speaker 1
You did. You got into the right amount of mischief, I think, to appease the gods.
Jeff Lewis
You didn't go too far.
Lakendra Tooks
No.
Unnamed Speaker 2
And she didn't lie. She didn't cover up. We knew exactly what's going on.
Jeff Lewis
I think she's lying about the sex part.
Unnamed Speaker 1
She really did show up for her gig, though. Like, she was. She did the gig.
Lakendra Tooks
Yeah, me and Rick said, by the.
Jeff Lewis
Way, but we were all.
Unnamed Speaker 1
We were all terrified. Yeah.
Lakendra Tooks
And that's the part that I feel really upset about. And I'm. And I'm really sorry about that, but I did. I loved meeting Kelly and Rick, too, might I add. And you know, Rick is a journalist, as am I. So we said we are going to cover this audience like it's Desert Storm. And that's what we did. We treated every member of the audience. Like, they were Norman Schwarzkopf or something. You know, we were. We took it seriously.
Jeff Lewis
Yeah.
Zach Noe Towers
You were also texting Ryan during the show. I did text Ryan, and I was moderating the show.
Lakendra Tooks
I did. Okay. That was.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Hey, what you doing?
Lakendra Tooks
That was bad.
Jeff Lewis
Why would you.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Do you want to grab a drink later?
Lakendra Tooks
I was like, ryan, you're doing good. Ryan, you doing so good.
Zach Noe Towers
At one point, Lick Hender just took the mic. I was like, is it time for another question? And Ryan's like, no, it's not.
Lakendra Tooks
I was texting him that, too. And I think. I think I heard Doug saying. I did text Doug and say, can I interrupt with questions? He's like, um, maybe I'm still. I'm new. I'm getting to know.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Stressing everyone out.
Lakendra Tooks
So I do apologize for that. But I texted both Ryan and Doug both because I adore them.
Jeff Lewis
Wait, during the show?
Lakendra Tooks
During the show?
Jeff Lewis
You were texting them both during the live show?
Lakendra Tooks
Yeah, unfortunately, that is the truth. But also I texted them post live show to apologize because I felt bad about that. But they were so gracious and they were so lovely to me, even though, you know.
Jeff Lewis
But moving forward, you understand that, like, when somebody's performing a live show, like, moderating or, you know, maybe that's not the best time.
Lakendra Tooks
Okay. Not the best time to try get in touch. Like.
Zach Noe Towers
And we should also mention all this went down and then you were on a plane at 7am the next morning. Yes.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Oh, how did that do that?
Lakendra Tooks
Yes, I was on a plane early the next morning. I had to go to New York to watch my baby brother get married.
Jeff Lewis
Wait, you were on it? Cause babychump told me you left his room at like, 6, 6:15.
Lakendra Tooks
Mm. Cause I had to get on my flight.
Jeff Lewis
So you spent the night but just cuddled.
Lakendra Tooks
We just cuddled. I'm telling y'all. I'm telling y'all. I'm for real. I am a good Southern girl.
Jeff Lewis
Are you willing to take a pregnancy test?
Lakendra Tooks
Abso. Bring it. I'll tell you about it now.
Jeff Lewis
We got one right here.
Lakendra Tooks
I will pee on the stick.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I'll take one. Watch mine come back positive.
Lakendra Tooks
Y'all really have to. We need a sponsorship.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Shout out. First response.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Oh, first response. Name brand.
Lakendra Tooks
First response.
Jeff Lewis
Digital. Six days sooner.
Lakendra Tooks
Oh, tell me six sooner.
Jeff Lewis
Wait. Okay.
Lakendra Tooks
It's been six days.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Wow.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Is that what that means?
Jeff Lewis
Since what?
Lakendra Tooks
Since I cuddled. Does this detect cuddling?
Unnamed Speaker 1
Does this detect cuddling?
Lakendra Tooks
Positive. You're positive for cuddles.
Jeff Lewis
Wow. I did notice a beautiful new car on P4 today, Gore. Congrats.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Oh, my God.
Zach Noe Towers
Yeah, I did it. Thank you.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Wait, what car? Did we know already?
Jeff Lewis
Black on black on black on black. Prius. Brand new.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Oh, my God. Do you feel like a princess?
Zach Noe Towers
Yeah, I feel good. I was there yesterday with the guy was like, getting me all this stuff, and he's like, okay. And I was like, what about the big red bow? He's like, really? I'm like, yeah, get out that big red bow. Let's take that picture. So it was fun to get to do that. Isn't everyone? It's iconic, right?
Jeff Lewis
Oh, I'd be embarrassed.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I didn't know until just now that that was a thing.
Zach Noe Towers
The big red bow.
Lakendra Tooks
I thought you only get the big red bow, like if somebody has bought you the car and then it's in the.
Unnamed Speaker 1
A surprise or something.
Jeff Lewis
And you're a teenager and you're thinking.
Unnamed Speaker 1
You're thinking of a commercial, mind you.
Zach Noe Towers
You're like an Alexis commercial at Christmas. Yeah.
Lakendra Tooks
The December to remember saying you had a Prius.
Zach Noe Towers
You know what? Closed mouths don't get fed. I got that bow.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Yeah, you did.
Jeff Lewis
And it's in the back seat. And it'll be there for the next 20 years.
Zach Noe Towers
Well, then I transferred my old bow from my parents into my new car. Can I tell you a sweet moment? This is like, actually, I don't know.
Unnamed Speaker 1
If I would have done that. That's like. That's bad juju. I think why I had to bring an old bow.
Jeff Lewis
But you know what happened to, oh, he died.
Zach Noe Towers
Girl, I can't wait to.
Jeff Lewis
But didn't just die.
Zach Noe Towers
Okay. This is like a whole thing. Anyway, what was really sweet and sentimental about it all is I bought the car on Sunday. They went to pick it up. It wasn't available, so I had to get it yesterday. The car was locked on a different lot. I picked it up yesterday. Yesterday would have been my dad's 80th birthday. So it felt very sweet and full circle.
Lakendra Tooks
So he was smiling down like he.
Zach Noe Towers
Was there with me.
Lakendra Tooks
That's sweet.
Jeff Lewis
That's nice. So there is a little bow in the back. And that's the original bow.
Zach Noe Towers
That's the original bow.
Jeff Lewis
Just clean it at least.
Zach Noe Towers
No, I'm gonna figure out something to do do with it. But it looks good, right?
Jeff Lewis
Like, throw it away.
Unnamed Speaker 2
The car looks beautiful.
Unnamed Speaker 1
But I'm like, decorate the trash can with it.
Zach Noe Towers
I'm driving. So rude. I'm driving just like.
Jeff Lewis
It's a really sexy car.
Zach Noe Towers
Thanks.
Jeff Lewis
Look at it.
Lakendra Tooks
It's.
Jeff Lewis
They've They've redesigned that car. It looks so good.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Oh, yeah.
Jeff Lewis
Don't you have a Prius?
Unnamed Speaker 1
Yeah, but it's not that cool looking.
Jeff Lewis
No, it's not.
Unnamed Speaker 1
It's. And it's a bad color.
Unnamed Speaker 2
It's bright blue. It's Sirius XM blue.
Jeff Lewis
Yours was a lost leader, right?
Unnamed Speaker 1
I don't even know what that means.
Jeff Lewis
It means what they do is they advertise like a really, really, really good price to get people down there. And then when you get down there.
Unnamed Speaker 1
It'S like Zach's car. Hey.
Jeff Lewis
Yeah, it's a weird color.
Unnamed Speaker 1
It's a weird color, but it is top of the line of that model. It's like the xle, but you've got.
Jeff Lewis
The old body style.
Unnamed Speaker 1
You've got the old body style.
Jeff Lewis
Are you gonna tint the windows? I hope.
Zach Noe Towers
I think I am.
Unnamed Speaker 1
You must. Your skin.
Zach Noe Towers
I'm going to, but I don't want a super dark car. Like at night, it just feels like you're in a tomb in a very.
Unnamed Speaker 1
It's also hard to see out of it.
Zach Noe Towers
That's what I mean. So I can't.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Sometimes I roll the window down.
Jeff Lewis
See?
Unnamed Speaker 2
See?
Zach Noe Towers
Like that's insanity for me.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Well, you can get her different levels, like in the back.
Zach Noe Towers
Yeah, I'm gonna get a light tint.
Jeff Lewis
Do you know how long it's gonna take him to pick the tent?
Zach Noe Towers
It's gonna take me a while.
Jeff Lewis
15 years.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Just go. And they have like six of them on low.
Zach Noe Towers
Made so many big decisions.
Jeff Lewis
He can't make another decision.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Is there a CD player or what do you do with all the CDs?
Zach Noe Towers
I took them and I just put them in my little memory box.
Jeff Lewis
You know all your Bette Midler CDs?
Zach Noe Towers
Yeah, my CD. I mean, cleaning out that car was. I took. I stole or took. I took the cigarette lighter. I mean, why? Because I wanted to have. I mean, it's vintage.
Unnamed Speaker 2
What if you want a cigarette?
Zach Noe Towers
Cars don't have cigarette lighter. So I just popped that out. I took that just to have as like a keepsake.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I think that's crazy.
Jeff Lewis
A cigarette lighter.
Zach Noe Towers
A keepsake of a time gone by. Of when we smoked in our cars.
Jeff Lewis
Take a picture.
Zach Noe Towers
When we created fire in our cars.
Jeff Lewis
So you took the cigarette lighter out?
Zach Noe Towers
I did.
Jeff Lewis
What's the next person gonna do?
Zach Noe Towers
I don't know what they're doing with that.
Lakendra Tooks
They gonna have the vape.
Zach Noe Towers
But that person's getting a good deal on that car. There's only 90,000 miles. Air conditioning works.
Jeff Lewis
That's a Real good deal, that car.
Zach Noe Towers
But, yeah, it was. It's. Yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Have you tried out your new features? Have you set up Apple CarPlay? Have you opened the sunroof? Have you got the heated seat on?
Zach Noe Towers
So I did that. I just have a moonroof. So they open, but they're not. Like, it's just glass. But I started with the things and the sounds. It's like so many. I'm used to buttons not touching. Everything's touched now. Everything's touched.
Jeff Lewis
Did you do the tutorial?
Zach Noe Towers
Okay, so this guy, lol, was like. He's like, I could, like, show you the whole thing, but just go on YouTube. I was like, ew, that's great.
Jeff Lewis
Customer service.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Crazy.
Zach Noe Towers
He's like, it'll be so much quicker. And I was like, honestly, I agree.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I don't think it will, actually.
Zach Noe Towers
I mean, we like. I'm driving the car, I'm doing it. And it's so funny, though, because, you know, it shows you how many miles you have, so. And it came with a full tank of gas, So I have 534 miles to go. That'll take me a year. That's great.
Jeff Lewis
Wow. I'm just so relieved that you finally made the decision. And it's a good car.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Thanks.
Zach Noe Towers
I feel good about it. I feel really good about it. Thank you for all your support over the days.
Jeff Lewis
Months, years and six years now. But it's a hybrid, so you don't have to. You don't have to charge it.
Zach Noe Towers
I don't have to charge it.
Jeff Lewis
That's good.
Zach Noe Towers
They do have a version like Oscar's version you can also charge, but mine's not.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Yeah, mine's a plug in hybrid. So the first 40 miles are pure electric and then it goes to hybrid gas electric. So you actually could have never filled up your tank again if you got that.
Zach Noe Towers
But I don't have. Where do you plug in your car?
Unnamed Speaker 1
I have a trickle charger. Plug it into my garage. Trickle trickle? Yeah. Cause it's like just like a wall.
Lakendra Tooks
A little tickle.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Why are you looking like that? Why are your brows all furrowed?
Jeff Lewis
I guess I'm looking at it because it sounds pretty easy, right? But Patrick and Pulse still don't have a charger, so I don't know.
Unnamed Speaker 2
They're trying to get the 220 volt.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Oh, they probably have like a. Yeah, they probably want a nice charger, like a fast charger.
Jeff Lewis
I see.
Unnamed Speaker 3
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Lakendra Tooks
No.
Jeff Lewis
But you can certainly get pregnant from having sex, which I think you probably did.
Unnamed Speaker 1
There's a thing called cuddle effing.
Unnamed Speaker 2
What's that?
Jeff Lewis
Tell me about cuddle f ing.
Unnamed Speaker 1
It's kind of where you are.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Is that like soaking?
Unnamed Speaker 1
Kind of like you are cuddling, but like, things are getting heated and things are inserted, but you're kind of just like slowly kind of like moving back and forth with it.
Lakendra Tooks
Kind of tantric. It's a little soaky.
Unnamed Speaker 1
It is soaky.
Jeff Lewis
Okay. Is it possible there could have been a little soaking moment over when you spent the night?
Lakendra Tooks
I don't do soaking. If I'm gonna go for it, I'm gonna go for it. I'm gonna soak it.
Unnamed Speaker 1
She's getting drenched.
Lakendra Tooks
I'm marinating now. Jeff, are you ready for the results? Because the results are in.
Jeff Lewis
You have it already.
Lakendra Tooks
The results. And I am not the mother. Because it says no.
Unnamed Speaker 1
She's right. She's around the room.
Lakendra Tooks
Yeah. I'm not the mother.
Unnamed Speaker 1
What if it's like, you're not having a baby? You're having a demon with a chump.
Lakendra Tooks
So, Annie, she literally just says no. That's so harsh.
Jeff Lewis
No, it's really.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Well, they used to get it should.
Jeff Lewis
Say, like, not this time.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Yeah, keep trying, girl.
Lakendra Tooks
Yeah, hangin'hang.
Jeff Lewis
In. You're right. That's so rude.
Lakendra Tooks
Yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Well, it used to be like two baby faces or something and, like, people got confused. Is two yes or is one yes or I'm having twins or I'm having.
Unnamed Speaker 2
It was lines like COVID test.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Yeah.
Lakendra Tooks
So now they're just like straight up yes or no? In my case, it's no. Sorry, Mom. It's a no.
Jeff Lewis
Annie, you had went. We had you accompany the Kendra because we were worried that you weren't going to be taking it correctly.
Lakendra Tooks
She had no idea. She got no idea. I did not know what I was doing.
Jeff Lewis
Never taken a pregnancy Test.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I was like, make sure you don't.
Lakendra Tooks
Get it on the plastic. She goes, oh, okay. I was just like, oops. You know, it's hard to. It's a little bitty little strip that you gotta pee on.
Unnamed Speaker 1
And girls don't have great aim, do they?
Lakendra Tooks
No, we don't. You'll have to do five second soft seconds on the strip.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, five seconds.
Lakendra Tooks
And you know, especially as a woman in a public restroom, you're trying to squat, you can't really get it right. Oh, yeah, but we got it together.
Jeff Lewis
Do you cover the toilet?
Lakendra Tooks
I try to just. I will.
Jeff Lewis
You hover. You hover. That's what Monroe does. She just like hovers, which looks like. It looks very difficult to be doing that.
Unnamed Speaker 2
It's hard for your legs.
Lakendra Tooks
It's a good leg and butt workout.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Harnesses in toilet stalls so you can.
Jeff Lewis
Just like sit in it or little handrails or something. I guess they have that in the handicapped.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Yeah.
Jeff Lewis
Which I really should be using at this time, at this point.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah.
Jeff Lewis
Cause sometimes I sit down, I can't get back up.
Unnamed Speaker 1
And you can't rock much on a toilet.
Jeff Lewis
Sometimes I gotta get my bearings with the windowsill there.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Shane, we're not there yet. Mama's passing a big one.
Jeff Lewis
We're not there yet. I mean, sometimes they'll yell, wipe me. But then we got that new toilet.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Thank God.
Jeff Lewis
Yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Washer.
Jeff Lewis
Renee in Florida. Hi, Renee, line two.
Unnamed Caller 1
Hi, Jeff.
Jeff Lewis
How are you?
Unnamed Caller 1
I'm good. Hey, I wanted to talk about the vomit in the elevators every day at the Crockford. In the second. The second elevator, 64. There was vomit in the elevators and all over the hallways.
Jeff Lewis
Yeah.
Unnamed Caller 1
And I wanted to know, was it a celebrity chump or was it a regular chump?
Unnamed Speaker 1
Well, did you take a sample of it? Because we could send that to the lab and find out.
Jeff Lewis
Well, you know what? They moved a lot of the celebrity chumps to Conrad and Hilton, so it was most likely a regular chump. But did you say there was throw up in there every day.
Unnamed Caller 1
Every day. And sometimes it was fresh throw up in the morning.
Lakendra Tooks
Were you there, Renee?
Jeff Lewis
She was staying at the Croc.
Lakendra Tooks
Oh, my God. Maybe that was a pregnant person.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Oh, morning sickness.
Unnamed Caller 1
Maybe it was. Maybe it was Lakendra.
Lakendra Tooks
Yes, ma'am.
Unnamed Caller 1
I loved you. You are amazing. But that microphone was too loud. We kept trying to tell you to take it out of your mouth.
Lakendra Tooks
Oh, shoot. Well, you wouldn't be the first or last to tell me that. Thank you, Ms. Renee. I'm sorry. Listen, it was my first Chomp Con.
Jeff Lewis
Yeah.
Lakendra Tooks
I'm gonna get it together.
Unnamed Caller 1
You did Good.
Lakendra Tooks
Thank you, Ms. Renee. Thank you. Next year's gonna be even better.
Unnamed Caller 1
And Liz was amazing. Liz kept that whole mess together. She was awesome.
Lakendra Tooks
God bless Ms. Liz.
Jeff Lewis
She kept the production.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Actually, watching Liz freak out from the wings was one of my favorite parts.
Jeff Lewis
Oh yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 1
She's like, speed it up, speed it.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Up, slow it down. Yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Tapping her, tapping her.
Jeff Lewis
Thank you, Renee. Appreciate your call. Yeah, but I mean, you should have seen her when she spotted Lakendra. Finally. After looking for Lakendra for an hour.
Lakendra Tooks
Did she not have my number?
Unnamed Speaker 1
Listen, you weren't answering the phone.
Lakendra Tooks
I wasn't. Oh my goodness. I gotta make sure Ms. Liz has my number next time. Cause I'll be like, Ms. Liz. I feel so bad. Cause I don't want her to. I'm gonna send her an edible Arrangement. I'm going to because I'm not many.
Unnamed Speaker 1
People want those though.
Lakendra Tooks
Oh, nobody wants. Except me. I want those.
Jeff Lewis
Nobody wants those.
Lakendra Tooks
I always want an edible Arrangement.
Jeff Lewis
I give them away.
Unnamed Speaker 2
They're all cantaloupe. No one wants eats cantaloupe.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I'm telling you, next time in the contract, you should make all of us have an apple air tag on us like. And you can track us throughout the three day.
Jeff Lewis
We had no trouble finding anyone else.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Oh, okay.
Jeff Lewis
It was just Lakendra. Well, now I don't want. You know, it sounds like it's a really nice relationship you're having with baby chump. But you know, he hooked up with someone else on Friday. Did he tell you that?
Lakendra Tooks
I heard that. I don't know what they did.
Jeff Lewis
Did you heard it from. Hear it from him or heard it from him? Oh, he told you.
Lakendra Tooks
He did tell me and I. I don't know what that. I don't know what they did. I. I do know what took place with me. So I don't know what took place with the other.
Jeff Lewis
I heard. Cuddle. Fucking.
Lakendra Tooks
Oh, well then that's. That's more than what took place with me.
Unnamed Speaker 1
And it was with me.
Jeff Lewis
That was Sunday.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Yeah.
Jeff Lewis
Okay, so you have no problem with the fact he didn't meet you then? He didn't know you?
Lakendra Tooks
He didn't know me yet. Yeah, he didn't even know me yet.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Like he was a different person on Friday compared to Saturday.
Lakendra Tooks
It was bl. Before, like Hendra.
Jeff Lewis
Now he told the girl on Friday that he was. So that's not that big of a stretch if he's 22 like he says. He told me he was 22.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Do we know the girl, by the way.
Jeff Lewis
My parents loved him. And he went gambling with them.
Lakendra Tooks
Oh, yes. He told me he went gambling.
Jeff Lewis
My parents loved him. He's really kind of fun and charming.
Lakendra Tooks
Yeah. He said, we're gonna go to dinner with Ms. Claudia when he comes to visit.
Zach Noe Towers
I reached out to his mom. I reached out to his mom to see if she'd call in today to talk about it, but I don't think she checked the DMs.
Jeff Lewis
I was actually very impressed with Jameson. I'm like, that's some really good producing.
Unnamed Speaker 1
That is great producing.
Zach Noe Towers
Thank you.
Lakendra Tooks
Wait a minute.
Jeff Lewis
But he waited till this morning. Couldn't reach her.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Wait.
Lakendra Tooks
Also could.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Did you not get a hold of Baby Chump?
Zach Noe Towers
I did yesterday. I did yesterday. I don't. I don't know her. I don't know him like that.
Unnamed Speaker 1
That would have been a good prediction.
Jeff Lewis
Did you see her? Is she the one with the beautiful tattoo on the back?
Lakendra Tooks
She's a beautiful woman. Yes.
Jeff Lewis
Yeah. Yes.
Lakendra Tooks
She was telling me about the NAD injections.
Jeff Lewis
What?
Lakendra Tooks
She was telling me about them.
Jeff Lewis
Did she do them? Because she looks like 36 years old.
Lakendra Tooks
And she told me. She's like, talk to Jeff about it. So we'll talk about it later, but. Cause I want to get on them, too, actually.
Jeff Lewis
Line one is about it. Monica in California. Hey, Monica. Perfect timing.
Unnamed Caller 2
Okay, so, good morning. So my husband's been on him for two months, and I am married to an older man. And he was diagnosed with dementia. And it's helped them, but it's helped him in a lot of other areas. I'm like, leave me alone.
Unnamed Speaker 3
Really?
Unnamed Caller 2
Yes.
Jeff Lewis
So his sex drive and what about his erections?
Unnamed Caller 2
It's insane. I'm like, I've been married to you for 32 years. I'm 53. I gotta go to bed. No, it has, like, changed our lives especially, I want to say, because the dementia has been really bad.
Jeff Lewis
Yeah, but tell me about it.
Unnamed Caller 2
He is. He knows. It has made him quicker. I'm not having to repeat everything, but, like, I got to sleep. I can't. I can't do that. But it has been amazing for him. And he looks good anyways, for his age. The only thing is. And he said he'll be 77, and he has, like, a thick head of hair. His fucking hair is falling out. I can't do bald because of the.
Unnamed Speaker 1
NAD or just because of life.
Unnamed Caller 2
No, I know, because if he was gonna go bald, he'd go bald by now. I think it's because of the nad.
Jeff Lewis
Oh, Shit, I gotta ask.
Unnamed Speaker 1
That's a real deal with the devil.
Lakendra Tooks
That's okay.
Unnamed Caller 2
We can just get, like, lose your mind, but don't lose your hair.
Jeff Lewis
Do you have a few dogs there, Monica?
Unnamed Caller 2
Yes.
Jeff Lewis
I can hear it.
Unnamed Caller 2
I'm thinking I need to, like, go on it.
Jeff Lewis
Yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Instead of using fillers, go on it.
Jeff Lewis
But I'm. When do I see my doctor?
Unnamed Speaker 2
I think next week.
Jeff Lewis
Next week? But he's got a baby.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Or tomorrow.
Unnamed Caller 2
So he just takes it under his tongue.
Jeff Lewis
No, they want to do IVs. They want to do IVs with me, which I think is more effective than the capsules.
Unnamed Speaker 1
What about shots?
Unnamed Caller 2
Oh, maybe I want to push. Okay, sure, that. But I'm telling you, this has, like, been a miracle worker. But I. I mean, I really just need him to, like, get a girlfriend or something at this point. I'm good.
Jeff Lewis
I'm excited for this. Even though I'm gonna be bald.
Unnamed Caller 2
Yeah. I mean, it's. It's been great. So, I mean, no, I can't do bald.
Lakendra Tooks
I'm glad the dementia's going away.
Jeff Lewis
Well, it depends on the person.
Unnamed Caller 2
I love that the dementia is going away, but, like. But other things are, like, working overtime. And I just, you know, what if.
Unnamed Speaker 1
His penis grows a full head of hair?
Unnamed Caller 2
Oh, God.
Jeff Lewis
Good for you.
Unnamed Caller 2
Again. Looks amazing in two months.
Unnamed Speaker 1
This is crazy.
Lakendra Tooks
Please tell us, is this one of those things? The what?
Unnamed Speaker 1
He's going. Or you stop and you turn into, like, the subtle.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Seven days on, seven days off.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Damn it.
Jeff Lewis
Is the substance crazy? You have to keep going with it.
Unnamed Caller 2
But good luck, you guys. I would. I mean, like, Jeff especially, like, you have concerns, but I know you, like, have concerns about your hair. Yeah, but I think you have a nice, full head of hair.
Unnamed Speaker 1
He.
Unnamed Caller 2
But him. He has that, too. But I, like, see it, like, on his pillow, and I'm like, what the hell's going on? So might it be one of the dogs?
Lakendra Tooks
Could just be a dog.
Unnamed Caller 2
No, because he has blonde hair and all our dogs are white and black.
Jeff Lewis
Well, congrats on the sex life.
Lakendra Tooks
And you gotta get on Those nads too, Ms. Monica, so you can keep up with your husband.
Jeff Lewis
Yeah, she's gonna keep him up.
Unnamed Caller 2
I mean, look, Lakendra, I'm just ready to cuddle right now. I mean, that sounds perfect to me.
Jeff Lewis
No, she needs a break.
Lakendra Tooks
You need a break.
Jeff Lewis
But you realize that Kendra's cuddling is not really cuddling.
Unnamed Caller 2
I know. Neither's mine.
Jeff Lewis
Thanks for calling. Thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Jeff Lewis live every weekday on SiriusXM, as well as the Jeff Lewis Channel, exclusively on the SiriusXM. Applied.
Jeff Lewis Has Issues: Episode Summary
LaKendra Tookes & Zach Noe Towers: Cuddling & Pregnancy
Release Date: May 2, 2025
Host: Jeff Lewis via SiriusXM
The episode kicks off with Jeff Lewis introducing his guests, Lakendra Tooks and Zach Noe Towers. Jeff sets the stage by highlighting the main topics of discussion: "baby chumps, new cars, and pregnancy tests" (01:18).
Jeff Lewis: "Hey, welcome to Jeff Lewis Has Issues. In today's episode, Lakendra Tooks and Zach Noe Towers join the show. We talk about baby chumps, new cars and pregnancy tests."
— 01:18
Jeff expresses his concerns about Lakendra's professionalism following an incident at a previous pool party. He humorously balances criticism with appreciation for her entertaining nature.
Jeff Lewis: "I have been rethinking you working for me at the next Chump Con. Because after what happened at that pool party, I kind of feel like you need to host it. I mean, you are a lot of fun. You're totally unreliable and unprofessional, but you're a lot of fun."
— 01:18
Lakendra Tooks: "But I've told you, Jeff, I am gonna prove to you I can be professional."
— 01:43
Lakendra recounts her experience at the pool party where she met "Baby Chump," a young man whom she initially thought was Jeff's nephew. The conversation delves into their interactions, the expectations set by Jeff, and the humorous misunderstandings that ensued.
Lakendra Tooks: "I thought he was your nephew."
— 03:11
Jeff Lewis: "How old did he tell you he was?"
— 03:33
Lakendra describes her time spent with Baby Chump, highlighting his gentlemanly behavior and their mutual enjoyment of each other's company. The discussion touches on their decision to grab a meal and drink together, leading to a lighthearted exploration of their budding relationship.
Lakendra Tooks: "He is a man."
— 04:12
Lakendra Tooks: "He was really sweet. And he's really comfortable in his manhood. He wasn't afraid to carry a purse."
— 07:05
The conversation shifts to Lakendra and Zach's roles during the event, emphasizing their commitment to professionalism despite distractions. They humorously admit to texting during the live show but express sincere apologies for any disruptions caused.
Lakendra Tooks: "I do apologize for that. But I texted both Ryan and Doug both because I adore them."
— 13:33
Jeff Lewis: "But moving forward, you understand that, like, when somebody's performing a live show, like, moderating or, you know, maybe that's not the best time."
— 14:13
A significant portion of the episode revolves around Lakendra taking a pregnancy test following her interactions with Baby Chump. The hosts and guests engage in a humorous yet candid discussion about the test's results and the misconceptions surrounding intimacy.
Lakendra Tooks: "I am not the mother. Because it says no."
— 25:07
Jeff Lewis: "You have it already."
— 25:07
Lakendra shares her open-minded approach to relationships, discussing her preference for older partners and her experiences with Baby Chump. The dialogue touches on future plans, maintaining connections despite geographic distances, and the dynamics of their evolving relationship.
Lakendra Tooks: "I usually date guys that are my age or maybe a couple of years old or younger. And actually, probably my preference would be, like, an older guy."
— 10:12
Jeff Lewis: "Do you have any plans to see him soon?"
— 10:51
Lakendra Tooks: "He lives in Colorado."
— 10:43
Interspersed throughout the episode are humorous exchanges about new car purchases, including discussions on car features, personalization, and sentimental attachments. The group also shares amusing insights into daily life challenges, such as handling public restrooms and maintaining personal hygiene.
Zach Noe Towers: "I have 534 miles to go. That'll take me a year. That's great."
— 19:22
Listeners call in to share their experiences and ask questions, leading to spontaneous and often humorous interactions. Lakendra reflects on her first Chump Con experience, while Jeff addresses concerns about maintaining professionalism and managing relationships.
Unnamed Caller: "I wanted to talk about the vomit in the elevators every day at the Crockford."
— 27:30
Lakendra Tooks: "It was my first Chump Con. I'm gonna get it together."
— 28:40
As the episode wraps up, Jeff and the guests share final thoughts, expressing gratitude for the experiences and the lessons learned. They tease future episodes and encourage listeners to stay tuned for more entertaining and candid discussions.
Jeff Lewis: "Thanks for calling. Thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Jeff Lewis live every weekday on SiriusXM, as well as the Jeff Lewis Channel, exclusively on the SiriusXM. Applied."
— 35:29
Jeff Lewis: "I don't need therapy. I don't need a prayer service. I need facts. Get to the point."
— 01:01
Lakendra Tooks: "I'm gonna prove to you I'm professional."
— 01:52
Zach Noe Towers: "He was a total gentleman."
— 07:16
Lakendra Tooks: "The results. And I am not the mother. Because it says no."
— 25:07
Jeff Lewis: "You have it already."
— 25:07
This episode of Jeff Lewis Has Issues offers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and candid discussions about relationships and personal growth. Lakendra Tooks and Zach Noe Towers provide engaging conversations that explore the complexities of modern relationships, professionalism, and life's unexpected moments. Jeff Lewis masterfully navigates these topics with his signature no-filter style, making the episode both entertaining and relatable for listeners.