
Lauren Lake, Zach Noe Towers, & Shane Douglas join Jeff Lewis in Los Angeles.
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When you're jeff lewis the drama never stops.
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This dementia is aggressive really so is the drinking you know i've never been on a private plane before and i'm very excited are you serious no never what are you a martian you're really.
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Demented you're actually demented.
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Jeff lewis has.
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Issues hey it's jeff lewis and i have issues in today's episode judge lauren lake and zach noe towers join the show we talk about airline vouchers inseams and my next dose of karma good morning good morning first i have to say that i do believe that my karma is coming back in the form of styes because we got rid of the first one now there's a second one and then i little brother but now at least the first one was behind the lid this one's in front of the lid so it's not the same one it's not the same one.
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Just karma you can expect about five forty seven more styes do you think yes i'd be swollen shut with styes two's not enough no not for jeff.
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Lewis well it doesn't help that shane forgot to pick up my prescriptions on friday and then on saturday saturday and then the pharmacy was closed the whole weekend so i couldn't start using my antibiotic ointment and drops until yesterday okay so it was already in really bad shape by the time i got my medications thank you shane well well it'll.
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Start working right now but he had.
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To get over to jackie schimmel's cause she was giving away free sconces so he abandoned his responsibilities and drove out to westlake village to get some free sconces how do those sconces look well i can't put them how does my.
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Eye look really bad it could light up the room let's say that.
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Now this is very very interesting i got cause you know i know we had theories on where the sty came from okay but this one's this woman says your sty probably came from washing your hands in the airplane restroom don't use airplane potable water it's gross watch when pilots use the restroom they bring a water bottle in with them so they're washing their hands with the water bottle.
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Water they don't wait a minute sanitize the tanks or something like so wait.
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What is it they're saying that it's something going on with the water that's coming through the faucet i think the.
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The bottom line is don't trust airline.
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Water but then what are you gonna you're just not gonna wash your hands.
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I mean hand sanitizer maybe no you.
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Wash your hands but you just use the bottled water but they're so you bring stingy with the bottled water anyway.
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You gotta me that means you gotta wait till you get a water yes to go to to the restroom well.
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What if no what if we pick one up in the airport oh yeah.
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You gotta buy four hundred water yes.
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The large one the liter yeah and we take that it's more than that that's crazy and then we use that.
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To bathe well some people go and get that filtered water out the wall but i've never done that oh i think they bring a water bottle and then they they have a filtered water.
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I don't think you should drink that.
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I'Ve never done it i trust a.
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Filter i don't trust it even has the green yellow red light like what.
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The filter's at i blame american airlines for this sty well sty one and sty two i mean you're gonna have.
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To check on this that's what you've.
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Been flying lately well the last one was american so i don't think it was delta one i don't think i think they have very clean water yeah.
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Well.
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The cleanest speaking of airlines i saw a very i mean i don't know if the story was meant to be funny i just found it funny kian was it these two poor ladies i guess they're blind and their flight left without them because what happened is they i thought it was funny too andy and he's laughing andy's already laughing.
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I don't like it i don't like all we heard was poor lady in blind and then you all start laughing.
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I don't like i know southwest airlines apologized to two blind passengers after failing to notify them of a flight rebooking and leaving them behind oh that's sad.
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Yeah they were waiting at a gate.
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Like all by themselves and then they.
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Were ian i'm not gonna laugh oh.
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Jeff i think i okay where was.
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It what airline i see another sky.
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I know i'm worried about another sky.
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In the southwest and it blinds him.
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The sty will blind him oh my.
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God yes karma so it's southwest and i think they were flying from new orleans to orlando what do you think they were doing there i don't know.
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Why would you go from that place.
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To that place jeff you know what.
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I'M not doing this hack ass bitch.
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But apparently they were sitting in that they were sitting there for five hours.
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That'S awesome oh no that's too long that's now i blame them so their.
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Flight i guess got it was delayed and most people went and got rebooked.
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Right my problem with it is doesn't.
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Everything get announced like that's what i.
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Thought because they said nobody because they're.
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Not deaf they're just blind nobody came to get us it's like well you can't see you can hear though but.
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You know it's hard to hear in these airports sometimes there's too many of them and now they have it's so.
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Loud you're right you know what you know what you know what once you're.
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Not i guess apparently not all blind people have hiding other senses it is.
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Hard and there's too many gates calling out and honestly not even to be funny because this is not funny jeff but you do use your site when it's too much to hear so you have to look up and kind of see and sometimes you got to walk over to that monitor thing you want.
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To know the worst part yes i.
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Do yeah they were flying southwest they.
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Only got dollar one hundred voucher each oh hell no they weren't eligible for a full refund but what are you.
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Talking about if you're sitting there for.
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Five hours someone no you guys for the you wouldn't even want this story to get out you would treat them better than this no that's well i'm.
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Glad it did get out now let.
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Me ask because of i thought they.
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Booked they did get on the plane and there was no one else on the plane they said right that's possible.
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How it was like the wrong they were on the wrong plane obviously but.
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Then how did they get on their.
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Wrong plane they're blind she's not but they said no one else was on the plane but how would they know.
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Jeff maybe else what if they were.
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Just very quiet annie annie now she's doubled over laughing also it's not their.
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First day being blind like they have.
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To know you know what it's getting worse annie's going to get a sty annie's going to get a style annie.
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How do you not have sties i.
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Got a migraine on friday oh yeah she went to the emergency room oh.
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Right she was at the hospital that's.
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Her karma well okay so do we really know so they okay so they ended up flying to orlando eventually five hours later and they got a hundred.
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Dollar credit yeah i hate this story i do that's not enough it's not enough i mean if i was blind.
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If i was blind i mean wouldn't you go up and ask the gate.
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I do agree that's a long time to be sitting they seem very passive.
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Girls yeah well but maybe it was like a delay for an hour and then a delay for a second hour and then by the time it canceled.
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And you know they keep telling you like and the plane is gonna be coming and it doesn't matter it never.
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Comes doesn't matter if i'm not even.
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Blind he's trying to get a voucher.
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No oh no they just have sunglasses on it be careful with those migraines.
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Annie her head splits open right.
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I would think it doesn't matter whether you're blind not blind you know the second they do those kind of delays you.
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Jump to another flight no yeah they said don't switch when i was flying to new york because they said the planes will still take off in the same order so if you switch i'll just go later if you switch to the ten which is on time so the nine will take off before the ten so you're just screwing yourself when.
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I missed that well that dallas flight that got delayed i mean that's true the twelve thirty took off before the three o' clock but i was able to jump onto the twelve thirty so i left two hours earlier so would you ever think about oh did you ever think about that like take the.
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Earlier flight but oh so because you jumped to an earlier flight yeah i.
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See yeah yeah so i mean you.
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Gotta be aggressive the average traveler though these people may not even fly this might have been their first flight in like six years or something do you know what i mean yeah and then.
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It'S like i don't know and are they notified at all when you book for a flight is the crew notified if people have certain abilities like like so that they would know let's make sure you know the people in thirteen a and thirteen b know here's another.
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Mystery the girls said that they checked the app and the app was not updated with notifications well how did you see the app how do you see.
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The app on your phone accessibility things.
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Oh my eye hurts.
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I can't yes i'm sure they did check okay wow all right give them some more money southwest give them something else give them some free give them free one hundred.
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Dollars a lot southwest is free that's two round trips you could tickets yeah.
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At least i think it's fine now you honor you look very fit today oh thank you you've got a cute what's the dress you've got a cute little wrap dress on thank you i heard that you're getting in shape for.
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A wedding yes i have a wedding coming up in like thirty days or so and it's like it's my girlfriend she's like our age and you know it's just like i haven't had to do all these things it's like you know you got to go away it might be by pool it's all the things you know and i'm used to being able to kind of pick and choose the rooms i want to be on based upon the outfits i want to wear and can wear cute but when you say pool i got to get it together cuz i'm not pool ready and it's august so i missed this summer okay this summer this summer.
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It didn't happen is this an opportunity to potentially meet a man it it is see that's what this is about.
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Oh no no it really isn't because they also invited big c because you know this girlfriend was also miss my bestie she was also in our wedding so he's invited so i don't know if he's really coming and that's a funny thing i was like thinking about this because weddings are a great place to meet people but i don't really think i want to meet anyone and there are very few people coming from california louisiana so whoever would be it would be long distance i did that the last time didn't between my schedule and the distance i didn't do well like you i it just doesn't work for me like i don't think people can deal with my busy schedule and me living in a whole different state.
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But what about just a fun weekend like you know take a page out.
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Of zach's book hey sorry i'm a good christian woman i i that's probably.
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Not on my bingo card especially since cj's her godson and he'll be there.
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With me too oh okay i didn't.
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Know about that it's a whole it would be a whole family thing i.
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Am i am circling this guy next door to the studio for you oh okay and what is his name is he single do we know jared kirk morrison oh is he married yeah yeah he has a wife he has kids.
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Sorry to his wife and kids i did not see him i didn't know.
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Either i didn't know either i just thought this was a good guy for.
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You and i'm i think i'm a little past the hookup fling weekend thing anyway it wouldn't really be my thing so but anyway you know it's nothing wrong with keeping a little eye out though just if you see someone that you think is interesting but how young.
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Would you go would you ever date like a young student well big c.
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Was ten years younger than me when we got married so would you date.
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A guy in his twenties no probably.
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Not yeah just because oh god this is gonna be the clip if i say it i'm just ready every time i say something bad it's just always the clip and i'm like i gotta live with this for life yeah but no like i have hit the age at like fifty six i've had like a lot of great sex right so that's not really now what what i'm what drives you what drives me like it's i mean not to say great sex isn't great because it is but it doesn't drive me so like the young guy if that's what i'm doing which most older women they want someone that's like going to break them off right yes i'm trying to say that as nicely as i can and if i wanted to do that i have all i have locale right but that's just really not what i'm i need like somebody solid who owns property knows who they are has some land or property or or at least a great company or something he i need more.
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Of a peer yeah who's booking the.
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Flights yes or have an assistant no no no not that that's what i'm saying and most importantly as jeff and i have discussed i i don't want to fly him because that's the surefire way for me to not have any sexual chemistry with you is for me to have to pay for you to.
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Do anything got it got it now.
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Sandra in pennsylvania she going back to the blind people oh god what your.
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Honor because we were just walking the line of decency and respect okay hi.
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Sandra.
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Hi guys very excited to speak to you i was thinking well first of all southwest luv is based out of dallas so jeff maybe you could stop by and get and tell them a piece of your mind how rude this is jeff loves i think that.
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We should all for some reason i'm.
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Not outraged here jeff is like a.
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Pig in shit over here like would you be one of those people that just kind of let them sit there or you'd be like hey maybe you should go talk to the gate agent.
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You know i probably am one of those people that would help yeah yeah.
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Unfortunately definitely and the fact that nobody and then isn't that weird too i said i didn't want to talk about this anymore but it is kind of weird that they were all in a certain vicinity waiting and then once the plane everybody else started to rebook that no one did come say like hey.
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You guys know the gate change but.
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It'S not coming it's not necessarily obvious when someone's blind it's not like they're wearing these huge dark glasses two people yes i don't think it's it's obvious.
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I think i'd spot two blind people.
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But if they're just sitting there minding.
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Their business people sit at all different gates all the time like it's not necessarily always their flight you know right.
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If there's more space i sit at.
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Another gate i'm not worried about the other people that's fair but we're talking.
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About the people who were sitting there that were on the flight right like i mean there had to be people sitting there that were on the flight.
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How would they know the blind girls.
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Were on that flight oh i see what you're saying you wouldn't necessarily think they were but then why you can.
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Deduce like you're sitting in the area you're right that they're blind and they're.
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Moving i'm not gonna see them from the lounge anyway and and they're not.
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Gonna see me i'm done with it yeah it's out of order it's out of order the gavel has come down and i'm done with it cause he is laughing and fully beat red cracking.
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Up they need a greeter yes you're right they do need a greeter yeah it's expensive though well but you're right i don't know who's gonna pay for that but yes it is it's the greeter the greeters the greeters i'd have a greeter if i was blind well i agree and i'm not blight not yet yeah i blind in my left eye i can still see my right.
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Eye i'm getting lost in your style.
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Sandra do you regret calling.
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I'M unemployed right now and all i want to do is hang out with you guys.
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All day with the rest of the unemployed i would half of us are.
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Unemployed too no i do not regret calling love you i do not regret calling i can't wait to hear what you guys have for lunch today oh.
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We'Ve been talking about it since eight o' clock it's on the menu thank you sandra love you the calls god i hope they're more blind calls because they're lighting up right now oh this one's about harassment in the workplace julie.
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In buffalo hi julie hi shout out everyone thank you so much for taking my call i'm a huge fan and i do have a question for the judge i don't know you guys don't seem to be much about into sports but i'm just wondering judge i'm sure you've heard about the hostile work environment the potential lawsuit on the wnba against caitlin clark in a hostile work environment.
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I did are you aware of that i am aware of it but i have not read anything about it it's football season in my world so i'm.
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Well it is football season to me also but i was just wondering i mean she has been hit with you know seventeen percent of the flagrant fouls and then when they reviewed there was another twenty three percent of flagrant fouls that were not called against her and they're calling it now a hospital working.
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Well thanks for your call julie we're taking calls for the blind people at the airport right now sorry thank you for calling julie love you all right i don't know where we go from.
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There sorry julie i actually have not read that story enough to even give her anything comprehensive so we should have.
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A referee here though sounded like a downer throwing it went way low we.
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Need to talk about something uplifting blind people getting left i can't something uplifting all right if you have those kind of calls please call us at eight four four three zero five andy eight four four three zero five two six three nine eight did you is it true you had no water in porter ranch i didn't was that from the was it granada hills there was a.
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Water break i don't i think we might have been in that something happened they went in to do something like to fix or to service something and whatever they hit or whatever happened the water got cut off thank god cj was at sleepaway camp so it was just me alone and so i just had to make the best of it but it was a drag like you just don't think about like how many times you use water all day how.
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Long did you not have water it.
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Was two and a half days so.
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How did you flush the toilet well.
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The good thing is i have enough bathrooms where and i was alone to flush once right so they all still had enough water so i macgyver over here thank god i did and so i also though i use the spa like i never use my spa i never go and so i ended up just saying i'm going to use my credits and i'm going to book treatments and so i did that and so i was able to kind of conserve my water that i had and then go to the spa and shower there and i would get like a massage i got my first lymphatic massage it was weird but they say they're so healthy but it just feels like nothing.
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Happened was it a private individual shower or was it a group shower with.
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Other ladies no it was a private individual shower is that for the straight listener the street islands just wondering private individual but i will say this the sauna and the steam room and like the whirlpool are not private and i will say that i am learning that i don't enjoy like i went into the sauna i was there i was doing my thing and then when other people came in i'm like but and i know it's like it's not my sauna but i don't want to be in it with anybody and then i would leave when they'd come in then i go to the steam room and i'd sit in there and then when i felt like i was i was looking like such a rude person but i just want to be in there alone so obviously i need to get like ten more shows so that i can get my own steam room and sauna because i don't enjoy sharing so.
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Did you have a bathing suit on or were you just naked no you're.
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Naked and you put your towel around.
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You yes okay yeah yeah the whole.
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Thing every boobs too yeah around my.
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Boobs too definitely honey at my age they're not ready to sit out and.
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Talk to people oh thank god the blind calls are rolling in deb in denver line two hi deb hey jeff.
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Hey lauren hey well hi hi deb hi i just want to comment that most blind people especially if they're really traveling alone don't they most of them have one of those canes the white and the red tips to show that they're enabled to you know get around.
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I'Ll notice when they have a dog like a service dog but i don't really notice canes a lot of people.
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Have canes yeah i've seen them yeah but they're just kind of gauging like.
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A stick or whatever just to make sure they don't hit a wall i.
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Also think we don't there's ranges of blindness where they can they're technically blind but they can still like see like.
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So wait a minute that's me right.
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Now so now are we are we sure that they didn't probably have like you know how they have the little cart they have the escort bring are you sure they didn't sign up you know how you do when you need a wheelchair yeah maybe you had someone they brought them there and sat them there and then from there oh and.
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Then they never picked them up never.
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Picked them up because i mean they're off doing other things there has to be a reason how this happened it's.
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Just bizarre well heather in california i like she sounds like a chump hey heather line four what's up heather hi.
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Jess how are you very good what.
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Do you think about this story i'm.
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A i'm a former flight attendant one i would not touch the water on airplanes ever i flew for fifteen years wouldn't drink it wouldn't touch it my husband is a pilot i've never heard of pilots bringing in water bottles of water to wash their hands but also the blind people need to take some accountability if you're sitting there for a couple of hours much less five and you haven't heard anything about your flight you can still go up and ask the gate agent what's going on you're.
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Right so you think these blind girls.
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Were dumb too oh i don't want to say that but i mean you're.
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Sitting there for five hours and you don't question anything and then you board.
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The plane exactly blindly exactly right and they got on a plane on the wrong flight the gate agent it would have been it would have popped up when they scanned their tickets so that part doesn't make sense all right i.
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Read the story i see what happened so they it was five hours delayed they were sitting at the gate the whole time everyone else went to a nearby gate for an earlier flight they got rebooked they didn't do that it's like a proactive thing to get up and do it so they just of course went on the red original flight which was five hours later that's why they were the only two so they were on the correct flight but they were the only ones on there because everyone else took the earlier flight so.
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I mean oh so then where's the.
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File so basically they got the one hundred dollars compensation because for the five hour delay which seems appropriate okay that.
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Is appropriate for that i thought it was like playing left it was their.
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Choice to sit there and wait five.
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Hours so why is this even a.
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Story i think because they're blind they're.
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Claiming that they were forgotten about because they're blind oh that no one told.
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Them to go book the earlier flight with everyone else but it's also not.
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Southwest'S job to tell them to rebook it's their job to get the flight they were booked on to the election.
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I kind of do all right courtney in utah she doesn't agree with heather hey courtney new info now hey courtney.
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Hey guys morning stumps so when you book a flight in there it asks you what your disabilities are and you have to put in specifically so the airline knows that you need assistance so when they checked in for that flight southwest bears some responsibility that they have they know that there are two blind passengers that have checked in and they're not at the gate because disability women children or women with children you know that their priority to book or to seat so they should have at least called their name or something if they checked in for that flight maybe they did so in southwest the thing is.
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They did take the flight that they.
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Booked but courtney maybe they didn't tell them this doesn't sound like they don't sound like seasoned travelers maybe they didn't tell them at the time of booking and they really should have a greeter for sure i don't know how much.
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That but that's courtney is saying what i said they had to maybe put it in the reservation and can you how do two blind people navigate themselves all the way through security into the gate it seems like they had probably help getting to the point where they were and it does feel like the gate agents owed them just a little due duty of care to say if we have two blind passengers and we are booking you on an earlier flight i come from around the desk and i just say hey we're going over here if you all want that flight if you don't want that flight then.
A
You can wait these gate agents are dealing with hundreds of people they are so overworked i don't know i mean you're probably not even thinking about it you know what i'm saying and then.
B
Even if you didn't even if you did forget about it and you didn't tell them then you could at least say you know your flight is still coming it's going to be here at this time i mean i don't know it's just odd to me how did they get to these seats and then just get left but i get the.
A
Point but they didn't get left the flight got delayed they didn't they didn't go up and rebook exactly but they.
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Obviously didn't know to because that's why this is a story because they're saying in their mind they got left behind what they're saying is they they were not treated fairly based upon you know their blindness the issues they were dealing with with the airline because everyone else went to the next gate shane said everybody else went on the earlier flight i'm done jeff i know i've got to i know jeff's like i'm coming back next hour i want ryan to come take my place because y' all.
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Are nice to courtney nice well real quick line two has a different theory.
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Hi jake jake in kansas hey so i think that these girls are lying because people help blind people i took my blind grandmother to vegas it was a wild time i was taking a hangover nap and she snuck out of our hotel room and went down to the casino and five different strangers helped her gamble and win dollar two hundred so if they were really blind someone would have helped them so this is.
B
A lie to get free tickets.
E
Yeah.
A
Okay so do you ever take anything out of your grandma's purse.
E
I plead the fifth i knew it shane you're.
A
A chump you're a chump i knew it oh my god but that is an interesting theory so you don't think they were blind at all no i.
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Don'T.
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Think a lot of the audience would have been happy with that oh yes.
A
I know a lot of people are.
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Coming for me we're in trouble and.
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I'M not in it i don't understand like it was just a conversation no you know you were being no i was taking a lot of people different calls i was getting different opinions is.
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That what you were doing yeah exactly poor connie is so tethered to the show i bet they're having like a mini stroke in europe right now totally.
A
Totally yes queen zach i have to know how was weapons it was good it was long anticipated long that's the.
C
Problem with me i build things up i see the preview i see the.
A
Billboard me so excited to see this movie and shane by the way by.
C
The way okay yeah well then i.
A
Did my job okay but we didn't see it yet so how was it.
C
It was good it was okay but not barbarian good not barbarian good not for me but but i didn't know anything about barbarian when i walked into it i knew so much about weapons but weapons is very good i will be seeing it again there's a lot of scary moments there's a lot of funny moments okay and it's a it's a great original story okay okay it's worth seeing it's worth it so you recommend it yes it's worth seeing it's absolutely worth seeing i just wanted to.
B
Be in the theater yes okay i.
C
Think so i that's the only chance i have of watching a movie from start to finish because if not i'll pause i'll look at my phone i'll get up and walk around yeah so i love going to the theater for.
B
That reason but you know like to go to the movies now it's like.
C
One hundred bucks well not if you join amc a list it's twenty seven dollars a month sixteen movies free really four movies a week any format any theater i never heard but that works.
A
For you because you see so many.
C
Movies if you see one movie so.
B
It'S dollar twenty seven for one twelve.
C
A year per person per month i'd.
B
Have to get me and cj but.
C
Tickets are like dollar twenty six but.
B
That'S in la cost us to go.
C
To one movie and you go see more because you're like yeah let's go.
B
We have okay i didn't know about.
A
That and you get that line the.
C
Concession you get the shorter line okay.
B
I have the regal thing i have the regal thing where we get shorter line and then we always get like money off of concession but it's still.
C
Like an expensive amc a list a m c a list okay it's brought me so much joy so what's that.
B
Mean i think i might do it yeah do it cause i like going to the movies now i used to not i don't sit still well but really i don't enjoy and if i don't like it i'm ready to go.
A
It'S the twenty five minutes of previews.
C
It'S the problem there are twenty five.
B
Minutes and then i don't want to go the restroom in there they're always nasty and you know it's just a lot but i'm trying to lighten up and i i do enjoy a good.
A
Movie speaking of weapons is it true that you are now learning to shoot a gun and are you trying to.
C
Purchase a gun i want to really yeah i think it's time i've never.
B
Shot a gun really oh you look.
C
So hot with a gun i might you would look hot with a gun.
A
Okay so why when did this start.
C
It just feels like the moment in history where i should have a gun.
D
Ooh i would come and shoot and.
C
Shoot okay oh yeah let's do it.
B
Maybe the chumps should go to the.
D
Range don't give chumps guns in mass.
A
One of us would make it out one of us would make it out.
C
While jameson's gone we'd have bring your gun to work day that's true no.
A
No no i'll draw the line no.
B
No no no that's funny i've never shot a gun we should that would.
C
Be fun that would be fun to go to the shooting range we could put it we could put different faces.
A
On the i might go with you because i've considered it you don't have.
C
Any guns no you've a gun owner.
A
I thought about it my dad told.
B
Me i should before he passed he was just like and baby it's time for you to get a gun i.
A
Wouldn'T do it if i didn't have a safe but now i have a safe totally so yeah yeah it just.
C
Makes sense i think i don't think they're going away i think people should move about the world as if if girls gays and theys are armed you know they'll think twice before harassing maybe.
B
You better tell somebody i know that's.
C
Right okay you're not gonna be able.
A
To aim with that eye though ooh ouch ooh came back in see that side see i would have trouble seeing you're right i might you know what.
C
Or maybe it'll line up with the bullseye like you look at it over your eyelid you know what in it.
B
Aim for the side it's funny cause.
A
I went the bathroom and i think it's literally got bigger since the blind conversation oh you're growing yeah you have.
C
Beautiful styes thank you i only have.
A
I only have two now los angeles.
D
Why am i laughing with you indoor shooting range we can go you may.
A
Relate to this but yesterday because my my kids are are still making fun of me about this but i needed two new bathing suits for hawaii next week okay oh they're already laughing why two because i'm gonna i mean it's three beach days so i don't want to wear the same bathing suit every day that makes sense so i told shane i said hey let's look online here's the stores whatever let's look online now there were the whole thirty one thirty two thirty three thirty four and i said i don't know i'm not i'm not sure i said i think we need to find one that's size like medium large yeah wear that and i said i'm a medium and then what did you say shane i said.
E
I don't think you're a medium not.
C
In this timeline honey not in this.
A
Universe and then kian he he then also chimes in and says i you said you're a medium yeah i'm a.
D
Medium i wear medium so you clearly.
A
I were a medium snugly right so then you said that i'm probably not a medium yeah one hundred percent i was convinced i was medium i was.
D
Convinced i was medium and then shane what he came downstairs and what did.
A
He say so i went upstairs i said let me go check my because.
D
Let me go upstairs because last year when we got him new swimsuits we got larges oh but then he was like no no no i'm gonna go check i have to go check the tags cause i think they're mediums and i was like well i just don't.
A
Want to get anything that's too big that's gonna fall off i bought them.
D
And they were largest but okay so.
A
What happened was i went up and i checked a few of the suits that were there and two of them the tags were not there like someone.
D
Cut them off oh someone got mad that it was an l and cut.
A
It out yes it's so weird so there was no tags on two of them and then the other one which probably runs small said large so i came down and i said i don't really know what i am because why are you laughing because two did not have tags and one says large but.
B
The other two could have been a medium correct bless your heart but you.
C
Really need a two piece for the.
A
Sty oh i was actually thinking of.
B
An eye patch and why is it a thing that you want the medium because you feel fat with the large.
A
I just in my head i thought truly i thought i was a medium.
C
You don't identify as a large i.
A
Don'T identify as a large but i.
B
Would think you would want to identify as large and need a large i.
A
See what you're saying yeah well i don't so then there was this whole conversation about the five inch inseam versus the seven inch inside insane it's all.
D
About five i would buy myself a five i would buy zach a five.
A
He convinced me because i'm a dad with a dad bod that i should.
D
Have seven i'm comfortable with jeff in a seven inch inseam.
A
You said large with a seven inseam this is not.
C
Good i said five i said go.
A
For five and you why did you say that he said keon says that i do five for easy access that is not what i said yes that's exactly what you said you said easy access he in addition he's a pervert.
C
Wow i don't feel safe you need.
D
You need if i you need a.
C
Gun i might my speedo and a.
B
Gun oh my god i have no.
D
Room for my gun and my speedo.
C
Are they waterproof are guns waterproof if.
A
They'Re not the bathing suits are no.
C
Guns i'm worried about guns am i.
A
Okay with the seven is the seven.
D
Gonna be grandpa no if if i'm wearing a short that is that is a centimeter above my knee jeff's like look at shane's gay shorts walking around.
C
With gay shorts oh yeah then you.
D
Should have you need a seven you.
C
Should have seven they'll they'll be but.
A
Where are they gonna land they're not gonna land at the knee they'll land.
D
Like right above the knee yeah that's.
B
Too long oh you wanna see you're.
D
Not wearing a five that is a.
C
Joke wait there's gotta be a why.
B
Didn'T a five be like a hot.
D
Pants you never listen to me the.
C
Little like kind of seventies shorts oh.
B
The seventies ones oh okay i'm gonna.
A
Put on those sevens and i'm gonna look look ninety i even showed you.
B
Photos right andy probably look you think.
E
So.
D
I promise you will not like.
C
The five why didn't you order both have you fallen on tough times yes.
D
I wish i'll get the fives and they're we can take them back whatever.
A
You don't wear okay but i gotta make sure i can get them before.
B
Wednesday post them up on the social media and let's take a vote let's.
A
Order the two fives and then we'll just return what which we never return shit we ended up just we end up just donating it oh or they.
B
Can wear the ones you don't like because they like a five oh i could not wear a large i forgot we were in large i thought we.
A
Went back to medium so you got me larges with seven inch inseams i.
D
Promise that's what you're gonna like but.
A
Look at the fucking wetsuit no you're.
C
Just gonna look midwestern no no it.
B
Could look chic it could look really like like it's kind of dad chic.
A
Kyle line three all right kai what.
E
Do you think hey jeff yeah shout.
D
Out shane shout out kyle unless you.
E
Don'T agree with me hey jeff they are doing you dirty they're gonna start that seven inch seam way too long you gotta be five inch you're an asshole shane kids are gonna call you adam sandler.
C
More like fathom sandler shane.
A
Wants me shane you're an asshole shane wants me very covered up kyle you.
D
Will not be happy with the five inch inseam no you won't be happy.
A
With the five inch inseam also true.
C
Vacation goers will not be happy with the five inch inseam the state of.
D
Hawaii will not be happy.
A
You better order those five inch inseams today and i hope we get them in time.
D
And i will take them back on.
C
Monday shane does look so confident right now that my bets on shane but.
B
You have good legs if you wanna be a little sexier then go ahead.
A
Honey do you boo shane does not.
B
Want that obviously shane shane said you're not ready for that you ain't ready.
C
I know i could see you pulling on the five and being like well.
B
These are ridiculous looking well also too you have to think about when you wear a shorter thing cause even for women now do your knees knock and rub together when you walk cause that's gonna ride em up and then they'll be stuck all up in your crotch and that's not a good look i've.
A
Been processing this and thinking about it.
D
I do think in general a five inch inseam is better but now i am thinking about you wearing a five inch inseam and i i don't know what is happening i did not change your tune now no you were so bold with the five you know i think a five looks better in general.
B
But you know it's different when you.
C
Walk and when you but i'm thinking.
D
About it on you no on me.
A
It looks crazy and i don't think.
B
For you you're gonna be sh you're.
D
Going to be showing a little thigh.
A
A little a little thigh is okay.
D
Like five inches of thigh it's just.
A
This one he's got his cheeks hanging.
B
Out and you've got to think about because you have i wear five inch.
D
I wear five inch you have short short shorts i absolutely do not yes.
A
You do they're way too short they're.
C
Like six inches yeah those are probably.
B
Also jeff you know we're we're well endowed in the butt area so then you have to think about when you're wearing the five and you got a nice big butt then it's gonna pull it up so you might you might have on a hot pant you might have some under butt it's worth looking.
A
I don't want under butt he's got.
D
Under butt okay shout out under butt.
B
Thank you kyle what is under butt.
A
When your cheeks how much how much were the ones you ordered did the.
D
Cheek hang down for you yeah seven lar oh no how much i think seventy dollars okay so let's order the.
A
Five and then if something doesn't fit we'll just give it to the we.
D
Can take it to lulu on melrose.
C
You couldn't help yourself what how was.
A
Your coffee coffee date this weekend oh.
C
It was good i went on a coffee date with a tall skinny man how long were the shorts they love me tall skinny guys love me they're normally depressed but this one wasn't depressed.
A
Tall skinny men are normally depressed the.
C
Ones i've dated it's funny remember the.
A
One at the cute tall skinny skinny guy that helped us with my new phone yes he was depressed yeah really.
B
They are why do you think when.
C
They have the concave chest it's like the universe is trying to pull them.
B
Back what yeah what do you think.
C
It'S because there's a darkness to them a jack skellington vibe really yeah a.
B
Tall because you you think about like cj's in that age of development where the tall boys are the thing right you know what i mean so when.
C
You'Re like skinny things but cj says.
D
They grow and they peak in eighth grade and then they can never reach that high again.
B
Maybe something doctor shane is onto something that's fair because you know at that age of development all the tall kids are popular all the tall kids they want them on the sports so you're saying oh that's interesting.
C
But the skinny is the other part of it you know the skinny where it looks like the skin's been pulled tightly around the frame goals yeah goals nobody on this show but.
B
Oh my.
A
God tracy thinks that i should get the seven inch and pull them higher but what am i supposed to do.
D
Well you don't want the shorts to.
A
Your belly button tracy i don't yeah how much higher can i pull them.
E
I know i was just saying it as a joke but i'm gonna get.
A
The five tracy and then i'll try.
E
Them both on okay yeah sounds good.
C
Layer them.
A
Let'S take line four mitch.
E
In california hi mitch hey so yeah you can't wear the five inches your ass is so fake and fat it's not gonna look right.
C
So fake okay.
A
Thank you mitch okay i really appreciate that mitch thank you he's right it'll.
D
Take up the whole five inch joe.
A
In ohio hi joe.
E
Dude seven inch no five too damn old to wear you are too damn old to wear five you're gonna look like a two bit sex worker on the beat she's.
B
Got a two a two bit one two bit one bit too much wow.
A
Love the support i'm getting today from the chumps okay joe seven inch it is thank you for calling now kian had a suggestion during the break keyan what did you suggest you should just get sweatshirt oh my god erica on line six thinks we should ask chatgpt.
D
We don't need to don't bother chatgpt.
B
No because zach tell him what he did and that's why we know so.
C
Those who went to chumcon know we did a live show there and i showed up not knowing it was in front of people with little five inch shorts on and you immediately like nice.
A
Hoochie shorts okay you're right keep the.
D
Sevens shane no now you want five you're getting a five see now they're.
A
All pushing the five at the break because they want to make fun of me and she that one wants to.
B
Film it yeah yeah i want her to go live when you get both shorts i want to go live no.
A
This is a setup now oh this.
C
Content to us yes we want to see yes i want to see you.
D
In those fives.
A
No no i'm not.
C
Doing it you're doing it all right back to your we're going to roofy you and do it to you back.
A
To your coffee okay back to your coffee date you're gonna go out with him again i am so it's very interesting you did not have his number.
C
No we met on tinder we kept it in tinder and then after the date when i knew that i wanted to see him again i sent him my number on tinder and then he texted me pretty quickly but when i.
A
Was oh i didn't do tinder i did hinge i mean same thing but i did i i would always exchange numbers before we met i don't need.
C
People to have my number i agree.
D
With that i don't and then and then if the date is horrible you can unmatch on the app and never.
B
Yeah never speak to them again i've never been on the app i'm scared.
C
Good for you did you do that your fan number i should i should give them a good life oh yeah i should or get one of those.
A
Eight hundred did you give them numbers.
C
A google number i need like proof.
D
Of life that you're not yeah i did i have to have your number before i go on a date other than trust it but why does that prove the number i went on a.
C
Few days where i didn't have the number and they would would stand me up and unmatch me not show up.
A
It happened twice yeah so kian's right i would never go on a date unless i had the number when i.
D
Was doing hinge show i would zach or i would just we would never.
A
Get stood up i agree with shane.
B
And zach because i'm talking to someone.
C
On hinge right now and i give.
B
Them my social media we don't believe.
E
You.
C
Whatever it is safer the way shane and i do it the meanest.
B
Show ever today just mean just have.
A
Fun you weren't buying it either i.
B
I was trying to i was trying to believe him i was like okay baby yes you did.
A
Sorry oscar your.
C
Honor is about to get her first.
A
Style let me give you some of my ointment it doesn't work okay so you're gonna go out with him again you've now exchanged numbers yeah we've now.
C
Exchanged numbers so it's official to me it's like a it's a next it's the next step okay and he's not depressed good not so far as i.
B
Can tell and he's not blind man.
C
God after today he's a graphic designer maybe i'm making them depressed.
A
I'M a little worried that your honor and i are going to be at the airport waiting for chump time we're going to be blind they're going to leave us.
B
Your honor they're going to leave us.
A
Thanks for listening if you want more of this listen to jeff lewis lad every weekday on siriusxm as well as the jeff lewis channel exclusively on the serious siriusxm app.
B
At rxbar they believe.
C
In simple nutrition without the bs that's why they said no to artificial ingredients and yes to deliver intentional transparent nutrition try their original twelve gram protein bar the nut butter and oat bar or minis rxbar the proud sponsor of no bs use code rxbar on rxbar dot com for twenty five percent off subject to full terms and conditions and to change valid until september thirtieth twenty twenty five and may not be combined with other offers see rxbar dot com for details and limitations.
Date: August 20, 2025
Host: Jeff Lewis (SiriusXM)
Guests: Judge Lauren Lake & Zach Noe Towers
This episode of Jeff Lewis Has Issues continues the show’s tradition of unfiltered, whirlwind conversations about Jeff's personal life, social commentary, and a healthy dash of irreverent banter. Joined by Judge Lauren Lake and comedian Zach Noe Towers, Jeff dives into topics including airline incidents, fashion mishaps (notably swimwear inseams), and the never-ending saga of his own “karma,” all with the show’s trademark blend of sarcasm, candor, and self-deprecating humor.
Southwest Apology: Jeff details a headline about Southwest Airlines leaving two blind passengers behind after not notifying them about a flight rebooking. The story elicits a mix of laughter and awkwardness, with the crew acknowledging the sensitivity of the topic.
Debate Breaks Out: The group discusses whether it was the airline’s responsibility or the passengers’, with input from callers and crew:
Callers Chime In:
Clarifying the Incident: The “forgotten” blind passengers weren’t left behind; they waited the full five hours for the delayed flight while others rebooked to earlier flights (23:36-24:06). The compensation ($100 voucher) was judged “appropriate” by the group, but the story sparked wide-ranging debate.
Swimsuit Shopping Anxiety: Jeff grapples with his size identity (medium vs. large) and the ongoing saga about his preferred swim trunk inseam (five-inch vs. seven-inch).
Style & Comfort vs. Vanity:
Resolution?: The crew encourages Jeff to order both lengths and crowdsource a decision via social media (41:23–44:16).
Who’s Responsible?: Profound questions (amidst laughter) about disability advocacy, independence, and community responsibility are threaded throughout the conversation.
Reflections On Accessibility:
Lauren’s Upcoming Wedding & Dating Life:
Zach’s Coffee Date:
On Karma & Airline Water:
“Watch when pilots use the restroom, they bring a water bottle in with them… I blame American Airlines for this sty, well, sty one and sty two.” — Jeff (04:03)
On Blind Passengers & Systemic Problems:
“It’s not necessarily obvious when someone’s blind… People sit at all different gates all the time, like, it’s not necessarily always their flight.” — Jeff & crew (15:21–15:44)
On Aging, Relationships, and Sex:
“I have hit the age at 56, I’ve had a lot of great sex… but that’s not really [what drives me].” — Lauren (12:46)
On Swimwear Inseams & Vanity:
“I thought I was a medium. I do not identify as a large.” — Jeff (39:10)
“You’re too damn old to wear five, you’re gonna look like a two-bit sex worker on the beat.” — Joe in Ohio (46:49)
On Dating in the Digital Age:
“I don’t need people to have my number… if the date is horrible, you can unmatch on the app and never speak to them again.” — Zach (48:47)
The episode is lively, edgy, and relentlessly self-aware — often tiptoeing the line between provocative banter and thoughtful dialogue. Jeff’s outspoken style, Lauren’s grounded insight, and Zach’s comedic flair create a rich, unscripted dynamic that covers everything from real-life accessibility challenges to wardrobe anxieties and modern romance.
Best for listeners who enjoy honest, irreverent conversations about everyday mishaps, social quandaries, and the messy realities of adulting — delivered with humor, empathy, and a wink.