Loni Love & Sarah Colonna: Noodle City & 6’8”

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Jeff Lewis Has Issues

Episode: Loni Love & Sarah Colonna: Noodle City & 6’8”
Date: April 29, 2026
Host: Jeff Lewis
Guests: Loni Love, Sarah Colonna
Producer/Regulars: Doug, Shane, Producer/Assistant

Episode Overview

This lively episode features comedians Loni Love and Sarah Colonna joining Jeff Lewis for a candid, hilarious discussion about love lives, wild travel stories, psychic soulmate drawings, and family shenanigans. True to form, Jeff doesn’t hold back on his personal drama, and the group riffs on sex, relationships, staff turnover, and more—with recurring jokes about “Noodle City” and a 6’8” romantic interest.

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1. Loni Love’s Cruise Romance & "Noodle City"

Timestamp: 01:33 - 05:17

• Loni updates everyone on her love life: she hooked up with a musician on her recent comedy cruise in South America.
• The rendezvous fell a little short, as the musician couldn’t “get it up” after drinking, leading her to dub the experience “Noodle City.”
• Quote (Loni Love, 02:37): “When I tell you he took me to Noodle City, wasn’t nothing up. Okay? Nothing. Because he had been drinking. It had been a long time.”
• Despite disappointment, Loni says she likes his vibe and might see him again.
• Jeff jokes about providing Viagra for next time, and the group spins a running joke about “Noodle City” versus “Hard Noodle City.”
• Quote (Sarah Colonna, 04:00): “I got so excited when you said Noodle City. Because I thought that was a good thing at first…”
• Loni also hints at another, younger option for future romantic fun.

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2. Checking in with “6’8” & Live Texting

Timestamp: 05:53 - 12:25

• Jeff brings up the mysterious “6’8,”” a previous dating prospect of Loni’s.
• Loni is prompted to text him live on air, sparking a playful breakdown of texting etiquette and speed.
• The 6’8” guy responds (somewhat awkwardly), expressing interest in seeing her—leading to more jokes about tall men, being “spell-checked,” and Android vs. iPhone bubbles.
• Quote (Jeff Lewis, 11:02): “Okay, so he’s illiterate, but he’s hot. We can overlook that.”
• The crew helps Loni craft a coy yet forward follow-up to lock in meet-up details.

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3. Adventures at Customs – Loni’s Border Story

Timestamp: 12:57 - 10:05

• Loni shares her difficulties returning to the US from Canada with her assistant—pulled over at customs because of her “suspicious” look (calling out bias), and narrowly dodging questioning about fruit and alcohol in her car.
• She gives tips on acting calm and denying everything, tying back to her comedy and acting skills.
• Jeff summarizes the advice: “If you admit to even a sip of alcohol, they have to automatically test you… just say no.” (09:27)

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4. Soulmate Drawings & Etsy Psychics

Timestamp: 12:31 - 16:16

• The group discusses a viral story about buying psychic “soulmate” drawings on Etsy.
• Jeff excitedly proposes they all try it: “For $20, let’s do it!” (14:13)
• They muse on the accuracy, show sample soulmate sketches, and joke about fate.
• Sarah gently reaffirms her devotion to her husband, John, as Jeff teases her about the possibility of a new soulmate being revealed: “I don’t see how you could do better than John.” (16:06)

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5. Sarah Colonna’s Husband & Women’s Soccer

Timestamp: 16:20 - 18:33

• Conversation shifts to Sarah’s husband John investing in women’s soccer teams, notably the “Cherry Bombs.”
• Jeff teases about possible red flags and groupies, but Sarah expresses faith in John’s fidelity.
• “He’s perfection. I wouldn’t want him to get a lap dance, but I know that he also wouldn’t get a lap dance.” (18:33)

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6. More on Loni’s Dating—Live Updates

Timestamps: 18:53 - 21:20; 32:16 - 41:22

• 6’8” texts Loni to ask if she’s free tonight, and the crew pressures her to respond enthusiastically.
• The jokes escalate, with references to “Hard Noodle City,” preparation strategies (eggplant emojis, ice packs), and animated concern for Loni’s wellbeing.
• Quote (Sarah Colonna, 19:20): “You are available. Baby daddy, suck it to me.”
• Loni plans a late-night drink with 6’8” at Eddie V’s, Manhattan Beach, clarifying it’s not a booty call—just a 10pm rendezvous “dedicated to noodles.”

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7. Parenting & Paying for Grades

Timestamp: 23:48 - 27:29

• Jeff shares stories about his daughter Monroe’s aversion to school and clever attempts to dodge homework.
• Monroe is angling for payment from her grandpa for good grades, and Jeff gives her tips: focus on improvement, be confident, and pitch hard.
• Quote (Jeff Lewis, 25:11): “He wants confidence and strength… crying will not work. Daddy’s tried.”
• Anecdote of Jeff assembling 50 friend testimonials in the '80s to get a leather jacket—emphasizing persistence and salesmanship.

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8. Work Ethic and Staff Turnover

Timestamp: 22:19; 40:17 - 41:49

• The group talks about recently letting go a social media staff member (Annie) and how Jeff explains work ethic to Monroe.
• A listener calls in to praise Jeff’s parenting: “Monroe has to see… you have to do the work… you just can’t be a spoiled brat…” (40:20)

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9. Food, Drinking, and NYC/Eating Out Jokes

Timestamp: 48:02 - 49:48

• The discussion shifts to favorite restaurants like Flame Broiler, Eddie V’s, and other Manhattan Beach hotspots.
• Loni shares her nightlife strategies, insisting she always drives herself to keep things in her control.

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10. Quick Hits: Shows, Weight Loss, & Stand-up Tours

Timestamps: 36:22 - 36:41, 38:20 - 38:56, 44:29 - 45:34

• Sarah recommends the Netflix show “Big Mistakes” featuring Dan Levy and Laurie Metcalf.
• Loni shares her weight loss success—down 20 lbs in 3 months—crediting her doctor and listener encouragement.
• Both plug upcoming stand-up tour dates. Loni’s cities include Columbus, Cincinnati, Atlantic City, Brooklyn, and Charlotte. Sarah shouts out podcast and Vegas dates.

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11. Unfiltered Sex & Size Banter

Timestamp: 44:41 - 47:56

• There’s open, comic discussion about sexual partners, size (including a memorable “11 inch” anecdote from Loni), and honest relationship talk.
• Quote (Loni Love, 46:44): “Yes. Almost a hysterectomy. Almost a hysterectomy. So I’m like, no. That’s why I’m like, no.”
• Loni reiterates she’s not risking another “giant” and will “work on noodles” for now.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Jeff Lewis (01:04): “They said that I am by far the most difficult talent that they’re working with. You know, we could say we don’t judge. I judge and I was judging.”
• Loni Love (08:45): “You have to act sober and you act calm and you’re... ‘No, I had nothing.’... That’s when the acting comes into play.”
• Sarah Colonna (18:33): “I wouldn’t want him to get a lap dance, but I know that he also wouldn’t get a lap dance.”
• Jeff Lewis (44:31): “Loni Love. We all... our prayers are with you tonight. We’re very worried. Can you text me after, please?”
• Loni Love (47:29): “That’s a lot to take in to your body. That’s a lot. A lot of pounding... I’m not dealing with that tonight night. No. I have noodles and we’ll work on noodles till he gets it together.”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Loni’s “Noodle City” Cruise Story: 01:33 – 05:17
• Texting “6’8” on Air: 05:53 – 12:25
• Border Crossing Tales: 08:02 – 10:05
• Psychic Soulmate Drawings: 12:31 – 16:16
• Sarah’s Husband/Soccer Chat: 16:20 – 18:33
• Loni-6’8” Booty Call Plans: 18:53 – 21:20; 32:16 – 41:22
• Jeff’s Stories about Monroe: 23:48 – 27:29
• Weight Loss Update: 38:20 – 38:56
• Eating Out Recommendations: 48:02 – 49:48
• Honest Sex/Relationship Discussion: 44:41 – 47:56

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Tone & Dynamics

The episode is fast-paced, unfiltered, and playful, with plenty of sexual innuendo, open camaraderie, and quick-witted punchlines. Loni and Sarah bring warmth and raunchy humor, while Jeff stirs the pot on nearly every subject, from parenting to romance to psychic matchmaking.

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Final Notes

• Loni will update on “6’8” adventures in a future episode.
• Listeners are encouraged to check out upcoming stand-up dates and try psychic soulmate sketches if “you’re feeling lost in love.”
• The group agrees: always be prepared, keep your standards, and when in doubt, “work on your noodles.”

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Transcript

[Jeff Lewis]

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[Loni Love]

12 months.

[Liberty Mutual Ad Voice]

A towel, piano. Enjoy being fully alert.

[Jeff Lewis]

Liberty. Liberty.

[Producer/Assistant]

Liberty.

[Jeff Lewis]

Liberty.

[Loni Love]

When you're Jeff Lewis, the drama never stops.

[Jeff Lewis]

They said that I am by far the most difficult talent that they're working with. You know, we could say we don't judge. I judge and I was judging. Money doesn't make you an asshole. But if you're an asshole and with a ton of money, you're going to be a bigger asshole. Why are you looking at me? No, I didn't. I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to look in that direction.

[Sarah Colonna]

Why did you look right at me? Jeff Lewis has issues.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hey, welcome to Jeff Lewis has Issues. In today's episode, Loni Love and Sarah Colonna join the show. We talk about love at sea, psychic drawings, and getting paid for grades.

[Loni Love]

I have an update on my love life. What?

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, yes. Skip to it.

[Loni Love]

You know I went to South America, right?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes.

[Loni Love]

And I was doing comedy.

[Jeff Lewis]

You were on a cruise?

[Loni Love]

Yeah, I was on a cruise and I hooked up with one of the musicians.

[Doug]

Wow.

[Loni Love]

And Jeff, I was just thinking about you because I was like, you know, it's been two years and I know you wanted me to be with like 6, 6, 8. Dude, but you know how that was. So anyway, I've been checking out this guy, this musician for like. Cause this is like my fourth cruise with him and. But I was in a relationship, my very first cruise, so I couldn't do anything. And then I got the breakup and so I've been, you know, separated and broken up for about two years. So I'm like, now is the Time. And he was, like, hot on me. He's like, in his 60s, everything. And so the last night of the cruise, you know, we've been, like, eyeing each other. He's been telling me everything. And he's. Yeah, I'm do this to you? I'm. Yes.

[Sarah Colonna]

Like, what?

[Loni Love]

Mama is hot? And so he comes to my cabin.

[Jeff Lewis]

What?

[Loni Love]

And everything?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes, you slut.

[Loni Love]

And when I tell you he took me to Noodle City, Wasn't nothing up. Okay? Nothing. Because he had been drinking. It had been a long time. It was like. And so we laughed. I call them noodles now. And I was like, honey, I just. I just don't have time for this. But I tried, though, Jeff. I could not wait to tell you guys.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wait, we're gonna see him again?

[Loni Love]

You know what? I like him. I like his vibe. He's a really nice guy.

[Jeff Lewis]

Good.

[Loni Love]

And you couldn't get it up. Could not.

[Doug]

What instrument is he in? The band.

[Loni Love]

Oh, see, I don't wanna give that. Yeah, I don't wanna give that.

[Doug]

Something cool or something lame.

[Loni Love]

It's really cool.

[Doug]

Okay, good.

[Loni Love]

Just think about beats.

[Doug]

Done.

[Jeff Lewis]

Maybe he was just nervous.

[Loni Love]

You know what? You know, I think I'm gonna have to go younger for the sex and then go older for just, like, the relationship. Cause it was nice to, you know, be intimate and cuddle and everything, but he just could. He was noodles.

[Jeff Lewis]

He probably. You know, he's on the ship. He probably doesn't have his Viagra. Do you want me to give him some?

[Loni Love]

Please. Like, you have to instruct me now. Like, when you're doing someone that's in their 60s, like, I gotta have stuff ready. Because I. We just didn't, you know, and. But it was a nice moment, and I'm proud of myself.

[Sarah Colonna]

I got so excited when you said Noodle City. Because I thought that was a good thing at first. Like. Yeah, I didn't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

What? Noodle City.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know. I was like. I ordered from there on Postmates sometime.

[Loni Love]

No, it was Limp Biscuit.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Loni Love]

But that was my update. So I wanted you guys to know

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm sorry about the noodles.

[Loni Love]

It's all right. It was.

[Jeff Lewis]

But you guys did other things.

[Loni Love]

Yeah, yeah, we had a good time. All right, so it was a good time.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so you were fulfilled? Ish.

[Loni Love]

No, but it'd be fine. It's gonna be fine.

[Jeff Lewis]

Is this ship bae? Yeah, I saw that picture.

[Loni Love]

I have three. I have three. So you can't. You can't.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, I was. I was like, did she sleep with all these dudes did she.

[Loni Love]

What? Lonnie.

[Sarah Colonna]

She's looking at me like, baby.

[Loni Love]

Oh, it was a long cruise.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's why she didn't care about Noodle City.

[Loni Love]

Come on, it's Friday.

[Sarah Colonna]

Sitting at with my dick on hard

[Doug]

noodles.

[Jeff Lewis]

You were posting all these ship bays. Did you hook up with all those ship baes.

[Loni Love]

No. No, I didn't. No.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Loni Love]

No, but it actually wasn't any of them, you know, because those are my. My brothers, but I call them shit babes. But the one that I did hook up with, he's not pictured, but you're

[Jeff Lewis]

going to see him again?

[Loni Love]

Yeah, he wants to try to go. But, see, he travels. Yeah, he wants to try to, you know.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, he just seems to be more prepared. Yeah, I guess I'd give him another shot.

[Loni Love]

I'll let you know. I don't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

Is he in LA ever, or do we have to wait for the ship?

[Loni Love]

He's going to be here in August, so I might. But I might be out on tour. That's the problem when you're touring. It's like, I'm out. But we might. We have another tour date together in November, so that might happen if they

[Doug]

wait for Fleet Week. See, when he comes to.

[Jeff Lewis]

All right, so can we review? Can we go back to six, eight, maybe?

[Loni Love]

See, I gotta call him. I haven't called him, so.

[Sarah Colonna]

But now you're in town.

[Jeff Lewis]

So weird. So there's something that. There's something about him you're not into.

[Loni Love]

I told you, too.

[Jeff Lewis]

But if you want some. But if you want someone for sex, maybe that's. That would be good.

[Loni Love]

I think I need to go younger. I think I need to go younger where it's like.

[Jeff Lewis]

How old is 6?

[Loni Love]

8? He's like, in his 50s. Okay, I'll give him a call. I'm gonna call him.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do it right now. Text him right now while I talk to Sarah, please ask him if he

[Sarah Colonna]

has any problems getting it up. And then.

[Jeff Lewis]

So text him right now. Let's see if he responds.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

Sarah, I can't believe this. Feliz Navi Paz is now gone. I mean, it is a joke. Now your followers are. You have 2,881 followers.

[Sarah Colonna]

It's for my cat Instagram.

[Jeff Lewis]

Is that because of Kat Benatar?

[Sarah Colonna]

It's because of you. Because you make fun of it so everyone follows me to spite you.

[Jeff Lewis]

Who needs a little kitty? Lonnie.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know, I know. She did say last time she likes kitties. And I got one. Look at the gray and white one. She's for sale.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wait, we're now we're selling?

[Sarah Colonna]

No, just for a small adoption fee of $20, I believe. I forget what the fee is, but can you cover the fees for. Of course I will. She's gonna come with her toys. Look how cute she is.

[Jeff Lewis]

She really is cute.

[Sarah Colonna]

She's gonna.

[Jeff Lewis]

The problem is Lonnie travels so much, so then she need a house sitter.

[Loni Love]

That's the.

[Jeff Lewis]

You travel more than any. I mean, you're gone all the time.

[Loni Love]

You gotta make that money.

[Jeff Lewis]

So did you have trouble getting back? Did you text him yet?

[Loni Love]

I just text him.

[Jeff Lewis]

What'd you say?

[Loni Love]

I just say, hey. Oh, he read it already. Oh, God.

[Jeff Lewis]

What'd you say, Lonnie?

[Sarah Colonna]

I just say, hey.

[Loni Love]

How are you?

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, casual. Are you around this weekend?

[Loni Love]

Yes, I am.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so.

[Loni Love]

But I gotta do a scene study. I gotta focus.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you have to be doing that 24? 7 or can you see 6, 8 at night?

[Loni Love]

He just read it. So maybe he'll answer, maybe he won't.

[Jeff Lewis]

Let's see. Let's see. Maybe he will.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, maybe send him a little titty.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, I don't know about that, Sarah.

[Loni Love]

Ain't nothing little about me. Nothing is little about this one. Okay, thank you.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you had trouble getting back from Canada. Is that true?

[Loni Love]

Yeah. So my gig with Martin was Toronto, and then we went to Detroit, so I drove to. I flew to Detroit, was driving to Toronto, got through, you know, Canada, no problem. But coming back to America, they actually. They do this whole process now where they stop you to ask you a bunch of questions, and they're like, you have any alcohol in the car? And I'm like, no, but of course I had alcohol in the car. Who doesn't? And, you know, they were like, do you have any fruit? And I'm like, no, of course I have fruit, because I have, you know.

[Sarah Colonna]

To make your cocktails to the fruit.

[Loni Love]

Yeah.

[Doug]

She was drinking sangria.

[Loni Love]

So I'm trying to, like. And my assistant is next to me. He's young, and he's, like, looking crazy. And I'm like, just play it cool, dude. Play it cool. And so we get past the first checkpoint after all these questions, and then there's a second checkpoint, and they literally. I'm not. I'm serious. They were letting all the white people pass, like, let them drive through. And me with these braids, stop.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, geez.

[Loni Love]

I was like, what? And so you have to do all these maneuvers. They made my assistant get out the car. And I don't know, but it took like 40 minutes to come back to the United States. Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

So did they find your alcohol and your fruit?

[Loni Love]

No, because I played it off.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's very smart. And I've said this over and over to chumps because I used to have a retired police officer work for me. And she said that if you admit to even a sip of alcohol, they have to automatically test you. Yes, but she said you just kind of. You just say no.

[Sarah Colonna]

But you were just saying you had it in the car.

[Loni Love]

No, no, no. I was like, I have nothing, officer.

[Sarah Colonna]

Right.

[Loni Love]

See, that's when the acting comes into play. Yes, yes. You know, and it's just, you know, and you. You act sober and you act calm and you're. No, I had nothing.

[Jeff Lewis]

Right, sir?

[Loni Love]

And he was like, okay. It's like, okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

So, Sarah, you know, you get pulled over, someone asks you if you've had something to drink.

[Sarah Colonna]

Don't have to ask my Uber driver. Cause that's all I do.

[Jeff Lewis]

Good. That's smart.

[Doug]

Three dots got a $8.

[Loni Love]

Three dots is coming.

[Jeff Lewis]

Let's see now. You're going to have to commit. If he's. If he's like, what are you up to this weekend?

[Loni Love]

What if he says he's listening right now?

[Jeff Lewis]

No.

[Doug]

Shout out 6 a good morning.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm excited for you. This.

[Sarah Colonna]

This.

[Loni Love]

I don't think he can spell. It's a long. It's a long time.

[Jeff Lewis]

You know what? I like that. He's spell checking. He's spell checking.

[Sarah Colonna]

It looks like a long hat.

[Jeff Lewis]

I do that too. Okay, we're waiting for him.

[Doug]

It's like four lines.

[Jeff Lewis]

There's.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, she's. She's quite a reaction.

[Jeff Lewis]

Mouth is wide open. Oh, shit.

[Sarah Colonna]

One of my readers. Morning. I am good. Did not want to text you. Wanted to talk to you. Having heard your voice once in a while. Are you around in town?

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so he's illiterate, but he's hot. But he's hot. We can overlook that.

[Sarah Colonna]

I think he's trying to say, haven't heard your voice in a while. He's got a little bit of a.

[Loni Love]

It was taking a long time.

[Sarah Colonna]

He's 16, very far from his phone. It's hard for him to see it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Those long arms.

[Sarah Colonna]

So he hasn't heard your voice in it. While he wants to talk to you on the phone, he wants to hear your eyes. That's sweet.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Loni Love]

She's like, okay. What should I say, Counselor?

[Jeff Lewis]

What do we do now?

[Producer/Assistant]

We also should point out the bubbles are green.

[Sarah Colonna]

I don't know if that's a thing.

[Jeff Lewis]

What does that mean?

[Producer/Assistant]

It means he has an Android. He doesn't have an apple.

[Jeff Lewis]

Is that a deal breaker?

[Loni Love]

I don't care.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't think she cares. Okay?

[Loni Love]

It's a better business.

[Doug]

She loves guys with no money. Yeah, for sure.

[Loni Love]

Okay, so the question is, are you around in town? Yes, I am.

[Doug]

Yeah, I'm around.

[Jeff Lewis]

He said that? Oh, he's asked if you're around. Yeah, I'm around this week. When do you travel again?

[Loni Love]

In a week.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, just say I'm around this. I'm around this weekend.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you have any plans? Let's get a drink.

[Loni Love]

Oh, my God. Let's get a drink.

[Sarah Colonna]

I can see Jeff.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you around this weekend? Let's get a drink. You better get pictures of it.

[Sarah Colonna]

Six eight's Six eight's gonna have its own account after this.

[Loni Love]

Guys are gonna get me in trouble. Okay. Okay. I did. I texted.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so we're gonna follow up here. It's gonna take him a while to respond.

[Loni Love]

Yeah, I believe

[Jeff Lewis]

I was gonna suggest. Before you met your ship Bae, I was reading this article on people.com that than I thought of you, Lonnie. It says that this woman, she buys a soulmate drawing on Etsy. Have you seen these? No.

[Loni Love]

No.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so it's this woman, she's only like 29 years old, but she's got three friends. They go to Big Bear for the weekend. They see this thing on TikTok where you go on Etsy, and you can. You can have a psychic draw your soulmate for you. You don't want to do AI because they do it on AI. You want to find a psychic.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

And so this woman got this. This drawing of what is to be her soulmate. Eight days later, she had a first date with a guy. It was a setup. It looks exactly like him. She said it was a great date. She said that they have incredible chemistry and they're still together.

[Sarah Colonna]

Really.

[Jeff Lewis]

So I'm suggesting that we all do it, including you, Sarah, just in case John's not your soulmate, okay?

[Sarah Colonna]

Just to make sure.

[Jeff Lewis]

I hope it looks like John.

[Doug]

It's been 10 years.

[Loni Love]

Who cares?

[Jeff Lewis]

But I want to do it.

[Doug]

I want to do.

[Loni Love]

I do. Yeah, that sounds.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't think it's that much, but you talk to the psychic. She supposedly reads your energy, and she taps into your soulmate, and then, I don't know, she tells us, like, how long. I don't think there's a timeframe.

[Producer/Assistant]

This one on Etsy's 40% off 20$22.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, I want to do it. But is that the one for AI, or does it real psychic do?

[Producer/Assistant]

It says soulmate drawing and psychic reading.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, that one could be good.

[Sarah Colonna]

Did this girl show the photo and the photo of the guy and the drawing, and they really did look alike.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes.

[Loni Love]

Really?

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay. Because sometimes, you know, you feel like you see a mug shot or something, and you go, that's him. And it doesn't. It's just a little bit resembling.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's. It's close. It is close. I say for $20, let's do it. That's not. That's not him.

[Doug]

No, but that's a different one.

[Producer/Assistant]

This is a different account. This is a different example.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, that look. I mean, that looks like him. Just. It looks like, you know, 30 years younger, so really flattering.

[Sarah Colonna]

You just met your soulmate a little bit later, that's all. Yes, right.

[Jeff Lewis]

She picked up your soulmate when he was.

[Doug]

I will draw your future partner naked.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, how much is that?

[Doug]

6A.

[Jeff Lewis]

6A.

[Loni Love]

I want to know.

[Doug]

This one's $15.98.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, that's. I'll cover that.

[Jeff Lewis]

But it's a psychic doing. Or an A.I.

[Sarah Colonna]

i don't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

You have to be really careful about that.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, I'll cover that and throw in a cat AI. Oh, here's the other one, if you guys want to look it up. Well, you can't even see the guy's face.

[Doug]

The drawing's very handsome.

[Sarah Colonna]

The drawing is handsome, but there's no photo of the guy.

[Loni Love]

It's very specific.

[Jeff Lewis]

There he is. That looks. That's a handsome guy. That does look like him.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Loni Love]

Oh, yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

Now scroll back up. Oh, shoot. It does look like facial hair and everything.

[Jeff Lewis]

I say we all do it.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay.

[Doug]

Can't wait to see a picture of Brogan.

[Jeff Lewis]

What if it isn't Brogan?

[Doug]

Then I'll have to shred it. Throw it away, Jeff.

[Producer/Assistant]

What if they draw one of your exes?

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, God, I'd have to take Better Business Bureau my money back.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, then you can hire a witch on Etsy, too. So then you could hire a witch and put a spell on the person that drew the wrong soulmate.

[Jeff Lewis]

Can you buy spells?

[Doug]

Oh, yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

You can buy witches. Yeah, witches. They cast spells on Etsy. Some of them have been banned, but they keep getting through.

[Doug]

Some of them are too real.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wow. Really?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, I think it should goes. Etsy's pretty.

[Jeff Lewis]

Can we research this kian and see what we can do? Because I think Lonnie needs to sign up. I Want to sign up? I mean, you're married to a good guy. I don't see how you could do better than John.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, he's. Thank you, but no. I believe I agree with you. He's the most perfect man and they would draw him.

[Jeff Lewis]

You can do. I mean.

[Producer/Assistant]

Well.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes, I mean that too.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know what you mean.

[Jeff Lewis]

You can't do any better.

[Sarah Colonna]

I wouldn't. Yes, of course not. I know what you mean.

[Loni Love]

It's not push or luck.

[Sarah Colonna]

And no, I cannot do better than John. Cause he's perfection.

[Jeff Lewis]

However, I'm getting a little worried because, you know, he's very successful with buying these sports teams. Now, for a minute there, it was fine. Cause he was buying these, like, baseball teams, right? But now he suddenly has shifted focus to women's soccer. Oh, the cherry bombs.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Loni Love]

Lesbian.

[Sarah Colonna]

Where's the cue?

[Jeff Lewis]

No, I don't think so. I don't think they're all lesbians.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, of course not.

[Jeff Lewis]

And I'm a little worried he's gonna start traveling with the teen.

[Loni Love]

He's secure.

[Sarah Colonna]

I don't know, Sarah.

[Loni Love]

He's secure.

[Sarah Colonna]

No.

[Doug]

Where is the cherry bomb?

[Sarah Colonna]

But Portland? Cherry bombs start in May and the gear is adorable.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's not a red flag to you?

[Sarah Colonna]

No.

[Jeff Lewis]

How old are these girls?

[Sarah Colonna]

I don't know, but it's pre professional, so probably college age.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, Sarah, stop it. You better go with him to those games.

[Sarah Colonna]

He's okay.

[Loni Love]

He really is. I believe in John, so he wouldn't mix business. He doesn't want to lose, Sarah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, because it would cost him a lot of money. A lot, a lot, a lot of money.

[Loni Love]

Oh, that is so cute.

[Jeff Lewis]

Can I see the girls? Can we see what the girls look like?

[Doug]

Sure. Here we go.

[Jeff Lewis]

I bet they look like strippers.

[Sarah Colonna]

I don't know what that is.

[Loni Love]

They don't.

[Sarah Colonna]

I don't even know if I know what they look like.

[Loni Love]

They're in shape. Yeah, Sarah's in shape.

[Sarah Colonna]

Thanks, girl.

[Doug]

2020.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think it's a mistake to blindly trust people and give them that kind of lead. Right. She's no leash.

[Sarah Colonna]

One time when we were dating, he went to Vegas with a group of guys and he. You know what he did? He went to see the Frankie Valla musical four times.

[Loni Love]

Okay.

[Doug]

They all had Jersey boys.

[Sarah Colonna]

They were. Yes. There you go. I could think of the name of it for some reason. One night he was tech. He sent me a photo of himself outside inside the theater at Jersey Boys. And I go, where are the guys? He goes, you know, they're at a club. Like a dance club or something. And I was like, yeah. Yeah.

[Loni Love]

I don't get that vibe from him.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

If he was at a strip and he got a lap dance, would you have a problem with it?

[Sarah Colonna]

I wouldn't want him to get a lap dance, but I know that he also wouldn't get a lap dance.

[Jeff Lewis]

What if he did?

[Sarah Colonna]

If he did, I would think it was. I don't like that. I think it's not.

[Loni Love]

This is being honest.

[Jeff Lewis]

Sometimes we really don't know our partners.

[Sarah Colonna]

Right.

[Jeff Lewis]

I mean, I don't know. I'm not trying to make you paranoid.

[Loni Love]

No, you're not.

[Doug]

Sounds like you are.

[Jeff Lewis]

What did he say?

[Loni Love]

Are you available tonight? You see what you got me into?

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, fuck. Yeah, you are.

[Doug]

Yes, you are.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes, you are.

[Doug]

You told us you are. You can't take it back.

[Jeff Lewis]

You are going if I have to drive you there myself.

[Sarah Colonna]

You're going to Hard Noodle City.

[Loni Love]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

You just gotta go. Yeah. There's no noodles.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

You need no noodles tonight.

[Sarah Colonna]

No Tube City. I don't know.

[Loni Love]

I can't. I'm so sorry.

[Jeff Lewis]

Shane, you are available. Lonnie, text him back, I'm available.

[Sarah Colonna]

You are available. Baby daddy, suck it to me.

[Jeff Lewis]

Lonnie, get back to him. Is it too soon?

[Loni Love]

No.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

Look how long it took him to write. Just, are you available tonight?

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm free.

[Sarah Colonna]

Are you?

[Jeff Lewis]

Just say, I'm free.

[Loni Love]

Okay.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. Let's go.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

This is exciting. We're living vicariously through Lonnie.

[Sarah Colonna]

And then just send him the eggplant emoji.

[Loni Love]

Oh, my God. Oh, no.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's my favorite.

[Loni Love]

I've been disappointed through noodles, so I don't know, but.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. I don't know. I feel good about this one.

[Sarah Colonna]

Meet him up before. Yeah. Have one drink and then go home. Don't let him have too many.

[Loni Love]

Okay.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, Right.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, I see.

[Loni Love]

Oh, okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, he's a big guy. He can handle two or three drinks.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, he can. He can.

[Loni Love]

I'll tell you. I'll make it even better. Okay. Let's meet at the restaurant that we met at Castle.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, romantic.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, let's meet at our first place.

[Jeff Lewis]

And then she's in.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Loni Love]

Oh, yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

She's like, P.S.

[Loni Love]

i'll get you a story, baby.

[Jeff Lewis]

Thank you. Can we book Lonnie for Monday

[Caller Pam]

for

[Sarah Colonna]

two hours and then.

[Loni Love]

But, no, I believe in John. I believe that, you know, I wouldn't worry.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, no, I don't worry about him.

[Loni Love]

Not at all. You know, and it's a good investment. Women's Sports is a good investment.

[Sarah Colonna]

It's a great investment.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's what he's telling her.

[Sarah Colonna]

They're super proud of it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Just diversifying. It's really some women's teams now.

[Sarah Colonna]

They already had a men's team, and now they have the Portland bangers or the men's team. And now they have the women's team.

[Doug]

Does he own the bangers too, or just the pickles?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, no pickles. Bangers.

[Loni Love]

What kind of names are these?

[Jeff Lewis]

I will draw your future partner naked. Nine hour delivery.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, my God.

[Jeff Lewis]

Sign me up. Sign me up.

[Loni Love]

Wow.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yep.

[Loni Love]

That takes the mystery out of it, though.

[Jeff Lewis]

I bet I can. I bet I can draw your tonight's partner. I'm happy to give it. I need more paper.

[Loni Love]

I need a whole scroll.

[Jeff Lewis]

Poor Loni. She's gonna end up in the hospital.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know.

[Jeff Lewis]

What's the closest hospital to you in El Segundo?

[Sarah Colonna]

What's the opposite of noodle city?

[Loni Love]

For real, like this is cedars or

[Jeff Lewis]

St. Joseph's what's the cedars is kind of far. No, they might have to airlift you.

[Sarah Colonna]

Just look up. Who specializes in te tears.

[Jeff Lewis]

Why do you always take it there?

[Loni Love]

I don't know. I'm sorry.

[Sarah Colonna]

I feel like Ryan Bailey.

[Jeff Lewis]

All you are the female Ryan Bailey. Just a perv.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, my God.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you guys signing me up? Do you need my credit card? Just put it on. Put it on the productions card.

[Loni Love]

This is research.

[Jeff Lewis]

How do we explain that to the accountant?

[Sarah Colonna]

It's research.

[Doug]

R and D. Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

So if you remember. Well, you don't probably know this. We are down an employee. We lost our social media person. We had to let her go. Annie. She used to sit in the corner.

[Liberty Mutual Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Loni Love]

I was wondering, where's Annie?

[Producer/Assistant]

I also have to joke because the corner has just one spotlight. The chair has a spotlight on it. The way the lighting is set up in the studio, it looks like the Annie Sharp memorial zone.

[Doug]

It's very true.

[Sarah Colonna]

It does. It's like when you see a play and they just put one little spotlight waiting for someone to come out.

[Jeff Lewis]

So I've got this little sarcastic 9 year old and I'm sitting at the dining room table with her last night and I'm scrolling through my Instagram and I still follow Annie. And her video popped up one of her reels. And so Monroe loves Annie. So she goes, oh, can I see it? And then Monroe goes, wow, she looks pretty happy for not having a job. I'm like, it's true. Yeah, she looks pretty happy.

[Sarah Colonna]

She's resilient. Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

I was going to recommend her to Carrie because Carrie needs an assistant.

[Doug]

That's true. She really does.

[Jeff Lewis]

She'll have fun. Annie's fun.

[Doug]

That's a good money, great content.

[Jeff Lewis]

She won't get much work done, but she is fun.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's a good idea, though.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know. I think Carrie wants a gay guy for sure.

[Sarah Colonna]

And also maybe, I don't know if it would be awkward for her to work for someone in your family or not. I mean, you guys are on good terms, so should be fine, right?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. She's coming to get furniture on Thursday.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, I'm sure Monroe can't wait.

[Jeff Lewis]

Monroe told me last night she wanted to be a model.

[Loni Love]

Oh.

[Jeff Lewis]

Cause she doesn't want to study. That's what this is about. She doesn't want to study. She doesn't want to do her homework. She doesn't want to go to school. She came home yesterday, she's like, daddy, I'm really warm. I think I have a fever. And I go, mm. I go, okay, go get in the bath. We'll get your pajamas on. We'll get in bed. And then I already knew what she's up to, because then she goes, you know, it's a school policy that if you have a fever, you have to stay out of school for 24 hours.

[Loni Love]

Smart girl.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, my God.

[Doug]

Thursday night fever. Of course.

[Sarah Colonna]

I go, Monroe, long weekends.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're going to school tomorrow. So just so we're clear, now, Saturday, we see Grandpa. Grandpa. She is prepared to pitch him because he pays her for her grades. And she did get a decent report card, but she got three A's. But she's very much justifying the B's to Grandpa and how the B's are as important as A's. The A's are just extra credit, blah, blah, blah. But then now she has switched her strategy. And she said, I'm just gonna cry and try to get sympathy from Grandpa. I said, let me tell you, I know Grandpa. He does not respond to weakness. He wants confidence and strength. I go, you just have to stay. Like, you gotta pitch him. You gotta be confident, and you have to convince him that way, crying will not work. Daddy's tried.

[Loni Love]

I was gonna say.

[Sarah Colonna]

I was gonna say, sounds like someone wasn't allowed to cry.

[Loni Love]

I know, I know. No, but because she's a girl, do you think your dad would be different with her?

[Sarah Colonna]

A little softer?

[Jeff Lewis]

I just. He's very entertained by the pitch, the. You know, trying to sell him. He loves to be entertained. And I've brought this up on the radio before, when I was in now, this was like, 1986. And it's important to say, because this jacket I wanted was $300 in 1986. It was a lot of money. So my dad said, absolutely not, because there was no reason. There was no holiday. There was no birthday. There was no nothing. So I spent, I think, collectively about two weeks. I had 50 of my closest friends write one paragraph of why I deserve this leather jacket. And these are like, these kids are nuts, right? So they wrote all kinds of crazy shit. So it was pages and pages. And so I gave it to my dad. I go, this is why I deserve the jacket. And he was going through and reading the bullshit after the bullshit, after. Bull. And he was laughing his ass off. And by the time he was done, he's like, I'm speechless. I can't believe you went to this extent. I can't believe you spent this much time. He gave me the 300 bucks.

[Loni Love]

Yes. See, that's.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

So I know how he works. So if she just relentlessly keeps pitching him and justifying why she deserves the money, he'll give it to her.

[Sarah Colonna]

Cause she's just one A short of the money. Is that what it is?

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, she gets a lot more money for the A's, but fortunately, she only got three A's. It's mostly B's. Like, two C's.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

But it's come up a lot. And that's why I keep. I tell her. I'm like, you keep telling Grandpa how your grades have improved. Forget. Don't focus on the A's, Grandpa. Focus on the improvement. That's where she needs to really manipulate him.

[Sarah Colonna]

I brought the C to the B or the. The D. C or what? Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Like, don't focus on the grades, Grandpa. Look at the improvement. Look how hard I've worked.

[Doug]

She's gone up a whole. A whole grade. I mean, that's. That's.

[Jeff Lewis]

She has. She really has went from a C

[Doug]

to a B. I mean, that's a big deal.

[Loni Love]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

Lonnie and I are writers. We'll help her write something.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, will you?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, we'll help pitch.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, Lonnie's gonna be real busy tonight.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's true. That's true.

[Jeff Lewis]

And probably unconscious.

[Doug]

Hopefully again tomorrow morning.

[Jeff Lewis]

Should we get some smelling sauce?

[Loni Love]

Right.

[Sarah Colonna]

Come right from your hospital bed on Sunday.

[Loni Love]

Thanks a lot, Jeff Lewis.

[Jeff Lewis]

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[Loni Love]

No, It's a drink.

[Jeff Lewis]

10pm at the bar.

[Sarah Colonna]

What about 8pm at the bar?

[Jeff Lewis]

Why is that? Why is he so late?

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh yeah,

[Jeff Lewis]

Lonnie. Why so late?

[Loni Love]

Because I'm only planning an hour with him. I'm gonna talk to him, we have a drink, and then boom, that's it. I am dedicated to noodles right now.

[Sarah Colonna]

Aww.

[Loni Love]

Okay, so she loves her noodles.

[Sarah Colonna]

But what about from 7 to 8? I'm just worried about being up so late.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know. I'm going to dinner.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's 30.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, I love a 6:30 dinner.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. With Doug. I'm Going to dinner with Doug at 10 o'.

[Jeff Lewis]

Clock.

[Sarah Colonna]

Da Barbara love.

[Loni Love]

Oh, yeah. No, but I'm.

[Jeff Lewis]

It doesn't sound good until you said Doug I love Da Barbara. I mean, what are you guys gonna. I mean, just get ready. Guess what you're gonna talk about.

[Sarah Colonna]

I have a lot of questions about airlines and tomatoes. Good.

[Jeff Lewis]

And then I hope you're prepared to discuss mattresses because you talked about that for 25 minutes at brunch.

[Sarah Colonna]

I'm bringing three bottles of wine, however.

[Jeff Lewis]

Cause you were saying that what difference

[Loni Love]

does it make where you buy underwear?

[Jeff Lewis]

What time is this dinner?

[Sarah Colonna]

6:30.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Sarah Colonna]

Do you eat quick when it's with Doug? Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

I'm just kidding.

[Jeff Lewis]

You'll be home by 7:20.

[Producer/Assistant]

Is it just the two of you or is John.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, John, the three of us. It's a triple date.

[Jeff Lewis]

I researching the mattress toppers. The coolie mattress toppers. Now chumps are telling me the ones that are most effective are the ones with water. So now I'm kind of considering the water. Cause you could heat it and you can cool it, but do you have

[Doug]

to have that big box by the bed?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. Does it feel like a water bottle?

[Producer/Assistant]

You have to have a box. It probably has what, like 4 gallons of water in it or something?

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't know.

[Sarah Colonna]

Does it feel like a waterbed?

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't think so.

[Producer/Assistant]

I think it has like small tubes running through it so you don't really feel it.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay.

[Producer/Assistant]

It just either hot or warm based on. It sounds nice, but who wants to deal with it?

[Sarah Colonna]

Could you do one with like two sides?

[Jeff Lewis]

I wouldn't recommend water tubes for Lonnie because when she goes to Pound Town later, I'm afraid.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, someone's pipes are gonna burst. Not just 6, 8 either.

[Loni Love]

Unless it's noodles. Nothing's happening

[Sarah Colonna]

because I don't know if those work. But I. I guess I'll ask Doug tonight. But I have a cooling pillow and it doesn't work.

[Jeff Lewis]

How old is John?

[Sarah Colonna]

He's 45.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so this is about the time. Like 46 is when my hormones drop.

[Sarah Colonna]

Or he's 44. Sorry.

[Jeff Lewis]

So it's gonna be. I think it's one of two things. Either he's having some like, hormonal issues now he's headed to menopause. Or he's thinking about those cherry bombs.

[Loni Love]

You and these cherry bombs?

[Jeff Lewis]

One of the two. But does he. Maybe he's not. Is he hot?

[Sarah Colonna]

No, I'm a hot sleeper.

[Jeff Lewis]

You need the cooling mattress. I know, but see, I love my tempur. Pedic, Matt. It is so comfortable, but now I just need something to cool me down, like a fan.

[Loni Love]

Air conditioning.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's all on.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, yeah, I know. I get. No, I get hot at night, too.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, be prepared, because Doug's gonna tell you all about it tonight.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

And it's tomatoes, by the way. It's tomato season.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know, I know, I know. And probably he's gonna tell me what tomatoes did Barbara use?

[Jeff Lewis]

3 bottles of wine is not enough.

[Sarah Colonna]

No. Well, those are just for me.

[Jeff Lewis]

I would definitely have a traveler in the Uber. I would start with something stronger. Yeah, you're gon walk in with a buzz.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

And then the wine will just. It'll. It'll keep the buzz.

[Sarah Colonna]

We'll probably go to the local bar before we get our Uber.

[Jeff Lewis]

I would suggest shots, but the food is so good.

[Sarah Colonna]

So good. Well, so John had only been this place to barber. You have to go. You'll love it, Lonnie.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's amazing food.

[Loni Love]

Where is it?

[Sarah Colonna]

It's in Hollywood.

[Jeff Lewis]

I would take you, but I don't want to go at midnight.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, I think they're. Yeah, they're closed.

[Loni Love]

We're comics. We're comics.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know, but I'm so. I'm up late when I'm on the road, and then when I'm home, I'm like, I. Like a night early dinner.

[Loni Love]

Okay.

[Sarah Colonna]

I do. I just like it.

[Producer/Assistant]

Same.

[Sarah Colonna]

I think I'm just old at this point. I don't know what it is.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, you're just practical. You can go home. You can watch a couple episodes of tv.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yes. Oh, I got a show for you that I think you'll love.

[Loni Love]

What?

[Sarah Colonna]

What the fuck is it called? Oh, Big Mistakes.

[Loni Love]

Who is.

[Doug]

I've never heard of it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Tell me about it.

[Sarah Colonna]

It's with Dan Levy.

[Jeff Lewis]

Really? Someone else told me about that.

[Sarah Colonna]

We just started it last night. And we started. We just started blowing through it. We're already on, like, episode four.

[Jeff Lewis]

How long are the episodes?

[Sarah Colonna]

They're only like 30, 40 minutes.

[Jeff Lewis]

I love that.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. Love it.

[Doug]

Why Aladdin crushes in this show.

[Jeff Lewis]

No. Tell Lonnie what happened.

[Doug]

So, years ago, we saw Aladdin on Broadway, and I thought the actor played Aladdin was really good, so I slid in his DMs. I said, great show. Let me know if I want to get a drink. And he never responded. That bitch. So then we went back and saw the show again, like three months later, and I was like, great show again, I'm around. And didn't respond. But now he's in the show about the show.

[Producer/Assistant]

The eight episode Netflix series follows two directionless bickering siblings who are blackmailed into the world of organized crime after a shoplifting incident goes wrong.

[Sarah Colonna]

It's so good. And Laurie Metcalf is in it, plays the mom. And I'm obsessed with her.

[Loni Love]

I love her.

[Sarah Colonna]

She's so good. She's. Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

All right. I'm gonna check it out.

[Sarah Colonna]

It's good. It's perfect for you, Shane, Maybe.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, now you're with Brogan, but I was gonna say, now that you're famous, maybe that fame whore, that Aladdin actor, would be more interesting.

[Sarah Colonna]

Who does he play?

[Doug]

It all worked out. I'm now Aladdin.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, who does he play in the. Who does he play in the show? Or do you not want to say?

[Doug]

I don't know.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

We can drag him. He never got back to you. Shout him out.

[Doug]

Who he plays? I'm looking. His name is Jacob Irl, but I don't know who he is in the show.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hey, did I see a post? So you're on this comedy cruise, right? When I was South America.

[Loni Love]

Yes, that's.

[Jeff Lewis]

But then you post about some panel on cancer and early detection.

[Loni Love]

No. AI panel. No, I don't remember that.

[Jeff Lewis]

That was in my notes. Ken, he's gonna find it.

[Loni Love]

Okay, thank you.

[Sarah Colonna]

Maybe somebody posted.

[Doug]

Maybe it was AI because that just didn't sound funny.

[Loni Love]

It's an AI.

[Jeff Lewis]

That didn't sound funny to me.

[Loni Love]

AI panel.

[Doug]

Let me look.

[Loni Love]

Oh, I do have an update on my weight.

[Jeff Lewis]

What's happening?

[Loni Love]

Three months. I'm down 20 pounds.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's amazing.

[Loni Love]

So my doctor. Doctor took me down for next month, back down to a 0.5.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay.

[Loni Love]

And then he wants me to go back up to a 7.5.

[Doug]

So why are you all bouncing?

[Loni Love]

I don't know. Ask my doctor.

[Sarah Colonna]

He has a.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you're down 20. That's great.

[Loni Love]

So I'm trying to get down another 10 by my birthday, which is in July. So I just want to say the chumps were correct when they said it takes time. They were correct.

[Jeff Lewis]

How many months you been doing?

[Loni Love]

Three.

[Jeff Lewis]

I mean, I think that's great results. £20 in three months.

[Loni Love]

If I were to exercise, it would be more.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, you will tonight. Yep. A lot of cardio tonight.

[Doug]

No noodles.

[Sarah Colonna]

You're gonna be up £20 during it, though.

[Jeff Lewis]

So I'm just curious, like, what. When you. When you set up time for 10pm what kind of message does that send? It feels like a booty call.

[Loni Love]

Of course we're comics. It's not a boo.

[Jeff Lewis]

We go, is he a comic? Is six, eight a comic?

[Loni Love]

No, he's. No, he's not.

[Jeff Lewis]

This is mixed messages. If somebody said meet at 10, that's a drink.

[Loni Love]

For a drink. I said for a drink. I didn't say dinner. I said for a drink. Jeff. Daddy. Jeff. Don't worry, I got this.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think we should do it a little earlier.

[Doug]

She knows what she's doing.

[Jeff Lewis]

What do you think?

[Doug]

About nine, she'll drink and then they'll go home.

[Sarah Colonna]

Look at Sarah.

[Loni Love]

Sarah's over here. Concerned.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, I'm actually just. I'm impressed that you make a 10pm plan. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

I would stop by. You should pick up some ice this afternoon.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yes,

[Jeff Lewis]

right.

[Sarah Colonna]

Little donuts you sit on after like a Advil and some ice.

[Loni Love]

I am not.

[Jeff Lewis]

Line one, Pam in New Jersey. Hi, Pam.

[Caller Pam]

Hi.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hi.

[Caller Pam]

Can you hear me?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Caller Pam]

Hi. I just wanted to say that now that I heard that Monroe. Monroe loves Annie, I am so glad you fired her because she. Monroe has to see that. Yeah, yeah. It's cool and all, but you got to do the work. And I think that's the most important. You just can't be a spoiled brat. You have to be, you know, you have to be like Sarah Colona. She's the coolest person ever. That's all I have to say.

[Sarah Colonna]

Shout out.

[Caller Pam]

Yeah, shout out. That's all I have to say. No, I just wanted to say that because she's got to see you just can't go. That's stupid. I mean, it's okay. But, you know, I thought. And you got to do the work.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're. I think you're absolutely right. Annie had a. Has a. Has a great personality, is so fun to be around. But yes, you have to implement the work ethic. And that is something I made. I've been making very clear to Monroe because she really liked Annie. And she keeps asking me, like, why did you let her go? Why is she not here? And so I keep, like trying to instill this in her.

[Loni Love]

Like, right.

[Jeff Lewis]

This is.

[Caller Pam]

This was the problem that happened. You're doing a great job. Thank God you did that. Okay, bye. Bye.

[Jeff Lewis]

Bye, Pam. But I don't know if Sarah is someone to look up to.

[Loni Love]

She is Sarah. Sarah was a responsible person on Chelsea lately. She was the first one to actually marry well. And she keeps doing her work. I think she's a very responsible, A great role model for someone like Monroe.

[Jeff Lewis]

Row.

[Loni Love]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

When do you want me to start mentoring her?

[Loni Love]

Weekly.

[Sarah Colonna]

Does she Want to be on the cherry bombs? Does she have soccer aspirations? I can get her in. She'd look adorable in a jersey.

[Producer/Assistant]

We've done some recon on the possible panel. Does this. Oh, does this look familiar?

[Jeff Lewis]

What?

[Loni Love]

What? What? That was on the ship. Oh my.

[Doug]

Okay, so you are on a cancer plan.

[Jeff Lewis]

How'd you work cancer into your bit?

[Loni Love]

No, that wasn't pretty easy. It was called a. It was for all the women. Women only. On the ship. It was a sisterhood like panel. And that lady that's talking is like a cancer expert. And she was telling people to do options like trials and things like that. Don't just listen to your doctor.

[Jeff Lewis]

But they're, you know, I want to go on that cruise. That sounds like a great time.

[Sarah Colonna]

No wonder that guy couldn't it up.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, well, B. Let me tell you about early detection.

[Sarah Colonna]

Let me give you a quick prostate check.

[Loni Love]

10 o' clock is too late. You can't talk about cancer at 10am what is it that you guys want me to.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, look, you're the one that's. I mean, you, you know, you're going out with this hot guy tonight. I kind of want you to mentor me.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, I'm not worried about you at all. I know.

[Doug]

Well, I am.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm actually, I'm worried about her.

[Loni Love]

It'll be 10 o' clock talking about the cancer, let me tell you.

[Doug]

And then she sat all the women down and it was really powerful.

[Loni Love]

You have options.

[Sarah Colonna]

You can get, you can you like get a cooling mattress quickly to your house? Do you have something to sit on afterwards?

[Jeff Lewis]

We're all so excited for you.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know.

[Jeff Lewis]

And jealous.

[Loni Love]

Oh, yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, we know.

[Loni Love]

I'll give you an update. I'm good at giving updates, so don't worry.

[Jeff Lewis]

But will you stay up late if, you know, if it's. If it's on, you're gonna stay up later, right? Like you're not gonna be like, call it a night like.

[Loni Love]

But I'm not. I mean, I can already tell you.

[Sarah Colonna]

You're just gonna have a drink.

[Loni Love]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Can we have an open mind here, please?

[Loni Love]

Here we go.

[Sarah Colonna]

Can he just wants you to have a little action. Trying to reel it in a little over here.

[Jeff Lewis]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Loni Love]

No problem.

[Jeff Lewis]

Also, if you are interested in learning about the different stages of cancer, cancer prevention, cancer treatment, early detection, you've got your stand up dates. You want to promote.

[Loni Love]

May 1st, I will be in Columbus, Ohio. May 2nd, I'll be in Cincinnati, Ohio. May 15th, I'll be in Atlanta, Atlantic City. May 16th, I'll be in Brooklyn. And May 29th and 30th, I will be in Charlotte, North Carolina. Thank you.

[Jeff Lewis]

And where do people go for tickets and venues? Spell it, please.

[Loni Love]

L O, N, I, L, O, V e. Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

And susan.com.

[Loni Love]

yes.

[Sarah Colonna]

I listen to Are you. My podcast on Wednesdays, the book list on Mondays, and then I'm adding dates. But right now, August 3rd through 9th in Vegas. September 25th. No, 24th through 26, Batavia. More to come, but I'm off the road for a couple weeks after.

[Loni Love]

Yeah. Cause you're getting some, huh?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. I had, like, basically 10 weeks in a row, and I just need a break.

[Loni Love]

Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's great, John.

[Doug]

Six, too.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you think maybe you should do some Pilates, some yoga, some stretching today?

[Loni Love]

I'm not doing anything tonight. I am not six, eight tonight. No, it's too much. It's too big.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, the lie detects it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Determined.

[Liberty Mutual Ad Voice]

That was

[Loni Love]

that.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's why you're doing the ten. Because if you did the seven, you're worried you'd have four drinks and then.

[Loni Love]

Exactly. Thank you. Going to the hospital. What was the biggest before you got married that you could handle?

[Sarah Colonna]

I don't know. I never. I don't know what I have size guy.

[Jeff Lewis]

She knows.

[Sarah Colonna]

I don't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're just. You don't want to be disrespectful to John.

[Loni Love]

Classic.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, I just don't. I can't. I don't know if I've ever known how big anyone is. He's giant, though. I have to do the splits tonight before we get home from the Barbara,

[Loni Love]

Because I remember this is years ago. It was a guy. He had to at least be 11. And it was too much.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's too much.

[Loni Love]

And so I'm afraid that. Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

That six, eight is 11 or more.

[Doug]

You put in PTSD.

[Producer/Assistant]

I gotta know, was it long and girthy?

[Loni Love]

Yes. Almost a hysterectomy. Almost a hysterectomy. So I'm like, no. That's why I'm like, no. Do you realize is that with anybody, if you don't know that person, you're really playing Russian roulette because you gotta figure out what the size is.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Loni Love]

And you're trying to figure it out. And you don't wanna, like, get into that moment and you like, whoa, you are just too much for me. So, no, I'm not doing it tonight, Jeff.

[Jeff Lewis]

All right, fine. But we are drawing your soulmate.

[Loni Love]

Yeah. Oh, no.

[Producer/Assistant]

You know, I'm just thinking about that guy with that 11 inch penis. And I'm relating to him. No, but I'm wondering. I would imagine a lot of women are like. Like, no.

[Loni Love]

Yeah.

[Producer/Assistant]

It's just not gonna happen.

[Jeff Lewis]

I mean, I feel sorry for him.

[Doug]

He should go gay.

[Producer/Assistant]

I think a lot of men, too.

[Loni Love]

Yeah. That's a lot to take in to your body. That's a lot. A lot of pounding. A lot of, you know, just going in. It's just a lot, you know, it's a lot as a lot of. A lot of baby. It's a lot. So, yeah, I'm not dealing with that tonight night. No. I have noodles and we'll work on noodles till he gets it together.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you have a flame broiler in El Segundo?

[Loni Love]

I just.

[Jeff Lewis]

I love flame broiler. I love flame boiler.

[Doug]

They have them down there, like down south, I feel like. Do you have one close by?

[Jeff Lewis]

Where do you eat down there?

[Loni Love]

Well, I go to Manhattan Beach.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, that's bougie.

[Loni Love]

Yeah. Well, of course.

[Sarah Colonna]

Flame broiler.

[Doug]

They have a boa in Manhattan.

[Jeff Lewis]

The rice, chicken, vegetables.

[Loni Love]

Okay. Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Teriyaki sauce. It's real good.

[Sarah Colonna]

You got a fondue down there? One of those fondue places. Let's just talk about restaurants.

[Loni Love]

A whole restaurant row on Rosecrans.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, right.

[Jeff Lewis]

Where are you going tonight? What restaurant? In case any of the chumps want to stop by.

[Loni Love]

It's called Eddie. Eddie. What is it? Eddie.

[Sarah Colonna]

Eddie V's.

[Loni Love]

Yeah, Eddie V's. That's where.

[Jeff Lewis]

Eddie V's. And where is it located?

[Loni Love]

It's in Manhattan beach on Rosecrans.

[Sarah Colonna]

It's an Italian place. Right, Right.

[Loni Love]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. If you were in the neighborhood, Lonnie will be there at 10. Get some photos, please, of 6, 8.

[Sarah Colonna]

Won't be able to miss 68, please.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, you can't miss that guy.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, he says his dick on the bar.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you're going to meet. You're meeting him there? He's not picking you up?

[Loni Love]

No.

[Jeff Lewis]

Will you Uber there or will you drive?

[Loni Love]

No, I drive. See, that's why I drive.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh.

[Loni Love]

I'm a very smart girl. I've been doing this for a long time. Time.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know, but if you have a drink or two, I would prefer you to Uber.

[Loni Love]

No, I'm good.

[Jeff Lewis]

Stick side roads.

[Loni Love]

I'm a roast.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yourself?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. Don't roast. Crayons is a major, major, major.

[Loni Love]

Not at that night, though. At that time.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. All right. You know what roads to take.

[Loni Love]

Yeah.

[Producer/Assistant]

We're not promoting drinking and driving, but

[Loni Love]

she's going to say that just Wanted to promoting that.

[Sarah Colonna]

I'm ubering to Barbara just in case anyone is.

[Loni Love]

You're going to have three bottles.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, well, can you hand me that? I want to promote Loni Love's cancer tour.

[Loni Love]

Oh, my God.

[Jeff Lewis]

Go to lonielove.com.

[Sarah Colonna]

sorry, I can't get it to. My arms aren't long enough.

[Jeff Lewis]

Sarah, are you doing a summer party or not? Stop fucking around with us.

[Sarah Colonna]

I don't know. I don't know yet.

[Jeff Lewis]

Stop saying that.

[Sarah Colonna]

I don't know yet. John hasn't told me. It's. He has to plan it.

[Doug]

He's got to spend some time in Portland.

[Sarah Colonna]

He's got it. Yeah.

[Loni Love]

With the cherry bombs.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you think the cherry bombs will be invited to.

[Sarah Colonna]

Probably, yeah.

[Loni Love]

That way we can meet them.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, no, they'll be playing. Maybe we'll do a July. Maybe a June party. Because we'll have to probably go away for our anniversary, which is in July. Early July. Oh, 10 years.

[Loni Love]

Congratulations.

[Jeff Lewis]

10 years. Remember, we're going to.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, I'm getting a necklace or something.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, we're going 24 karat.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

We are. John said he would. John said he would.

[Loni Love]

Thank you, Jeff.

[Jeff Lewis]

Loni Love. We all. I mean, our prayers are with you tonight. We're very worried. Can you text me after, please?

[Loni Love]

Yes, I will.

[Jeff Lewis]

You have my personal number, right?

[Loni Love]

Yes.

[Sarah Colonna]

Please let us know you're okay.

[Loni Love]

Okay, I'll make sure you need to pick me up.

[Jeff Lewis]

Thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Jeff Lewis live every weekday on SiriusXM as well as the Jeff Lewis Channel, exclusively on the SiriusXM app.

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[Jeff Lewis]

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