Ms. Pat & Zach Noe Towers: Nicknames & Funeral Homes

Summary

Podcast Summary: Jeff Lewis Has Issues

Episode: Ms. Pat & Zach Noe Towers: Nicknames & Funeral Homes
Date: November 14, 2025
Host: Jeff Lewis
Guests: Ms. Pat, Zach Noe Towers
Theme: Comedy and real talk about family, second chances, investing, and everyday life, with Ms. Pat’s signature no-nonsense wisdom and Jeff’s self-deprecating humor.

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Episode Overview

Jeff welcomes comedian Ms. Pat and returning favorite Zach Noe Towers for a wide-ranging discussion that’s equal parts hilarious and heartfelt. They cover topics like parenting, financial advice for families, buying cars from funeral homes, managing relationships (and bedrooms!), and adopting no-filter approaches to life, money, and love. Ms. Pat shares unfiltered stories from her past, her rise to TV success, and lessons learned along the way. The episode also spotlights Ms. Pat’s new season of her courtroom show, Ms. Pat Settles It, and dives into both the ridiculous (Halloween costumes gone wrong) and the practical (negotiating everything, even used cars).

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Ms. Pat’s TV and Comedy Life

Ms. Pat introduces her court show

• Ms. Pat Settles It just dropped its third season on BET. She found her new bailiff—a hilarious, unfiltered comedian—via TikTok.
  • “He’ll walk right into my boss’s office… and he makes sure they treat you better.” (Ms. Pat, 03:24)
  • The “bailiff” is known for comically roasting people’s employers and gets calls to real offices, sometimes resulting in police being called or lawsuits.
  • Ms. Pat insists: “He be in there smoking in their office and everything.” (Ms. Pat, 04:08)

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2. Ms. Pat’s Unvarnished Life Story

• Ms. Pat discusses surviving a tough upbringing, teen motherhood, and turning her life around after time in prison for selling crack—not for “bank robbery” as Jeff jokingly guesses.
  • “Can you please give me black people crimes? That’s a white person crime. Insurance, crack… I was selling crack.” (Ms. Pat, 06:48)
• Credits her husband, Garrett, for supporting her dreams—often against his will:
  • “He funded it, whether he was willing or not. I stole his credit cards.” (Ms. Pat, 07:56)
  • They’re still together after 32 years, though now in separate bedrooms: “I wouldn’t trade that fat man for the world.” (Ms. Pat, 07:36)

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3. Parenting, Adoption, and Tough Love

Black vs. white parenting (10:20–14:00)

• Ms. Pat pokes fun at White parents: “If you hold white babies up to the light bulb, you can see through them.” (Ms. Pat, 10:20)
• She has raised many children, both her own and several sets of adopted nieces, nephews, and grand-nieces, insisting on discipline and honesty:
  • “You got a kid?… If you don’t… if you be soft on them, they gonna be hard on you. I don’t play that.” (Ms. Pat, 12:24)
• She adopts tough love and brutal candor:
  • “[To her adopted child:] Do you know your real mama smoke crack?... I'll let you see your mama selling pussy. So don’t do that.” (Ms. Pat, 13:55)
• She gives every kid a “real” nickname, announcing Jeff’s daughter Monroe would be “Ro Ro” at her house. (15:04)

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4. Money, Investing, and Funeral Homes

Turning Hard Lessons Into Family Wealth (17:36–22:10)

• Growing up, Ms. Pat subscribed to the notion of kicking kids out at 18—until she learned better:
  • “If you let your kids stay, they can develop more.” She built a “separate house” for her daughter on her property while teaching her to save and invest.
  • “She invests 80% of her paycheck… She only lives off 20%.” (Ms. Pat, 18:49)
• Advice on finance for the Black community: invest, buy property, don’t waste on liabilities, and help each other get started with any amount—$20k, $50k, whatever you have.
• Funeral home car-buying tip:
  • “If you want to buy somebody a car… look up your local funeral home, see who died and call the family member—ask if they want to sell that person’s car… Instead of going to a car lot, go to the funeral home.” (Ms. Pat, 19:48)
  • Jeff relates: “When my grandmother passed, I sold that beautiful Mercedes for like 20 grand.” (Jeff, 20:01)

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5. Negotiating, Property Flipping & Lessons from TV

Real Estate, Deals & HGTV Lies (21:53–26:05)

• Ms. Pat and her daughter recently bought their first rental property together—teaching her to reinvest and be smart with rental income.
• She despises inflated estimates on HGTV:
  • “How much is it to take down this wall? She was like, eighteen hundred dollars. And I’m like, girl, stop lying… All it take is a hammer.” (Ms. Pat, 25:41)
• On property expansion:
  • Built a 15,000 sq ft home, separate houses, a pool, and more—now struggles with the high taxes and insurance:
    • “My taxes are like 25,000 and the insurance is like 20,000.” (Ms. Pat, 24:25)
• On negotiation:
  • “Even back when I was a prostitute, it was negotiable.” (Ms. Pat, 28:12)
  • “You negotiate everything?” —“I negotiate everything.” (28:11)

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6. Life at Home: Relationships, Kid Habits & Separate Bedrooms

Why Separate Bedrooms Work (35:41–36:45)

• Ms. Pat and her husband sleep in separate bedrooms for comfort, sleep quality, and personal space:
  • “His boob on top of my boob… we sticking together… None of that no more, Jeff. Oh, baby.” (Ms. Pat, 36:17)
  • She likes her room hot (“like a toaster oven,” 36:27), while he prefers it cold.
  • Reframes intimacy: “Sex to me is just two pumps and we both sleep.” (Ms. Pat, 35:26)

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7. Iconic Quotes and Memorable Moments

• “If you hold white babies up to the lightbulb, you can see through them.” —Ms. Pat (10:20)
• “This is what we gonna eat. But I don’t play no games either.” —Ms. Pat (15:54)
• “Look up your local funeral home and see who died and call that family member, ask them, do they want to sell that person’s car…” —Ms. Pat (19:48)
• “Even back when I was a prostitute, it was negotiable.” —Ms. Pat (28:12)
• “Jeff made 10,000 under. Jeff lost money. He sure did.” —Ms. Pat on TV home-flipping numbers (43:00)
• On separate bedrooms: “His boob on top of my boob and we sticking together ’cause we both ain’t got on no shirts… None of that no more, Jeff.” (36:17)

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8. Miscellaneous Highlights

• Zach's Halloween Costume Dilemma:
  • “Everyone went as Drew Barrymore from the opening scene [of Scream]. Turned out to be lazy and unoriginal.” (Jeff/Zach, 49:07)
• On buying a used Prius that ended up infested with rats:
  • “He spends $9,000 fixing the $8,000 car. He’s now in it at $17,000… He don’t have a car note!” (Jeff/Ms. Pat, 40:14)
• Ms. Pat’s event for fans:
  • She throws an annual party for her fans in Atlanta—the “Ms. Pat Fan Celebration”—drawing attendees from as far as Canada and London. (49:20)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:09 — Finding the “bailiff” via TikTok
• 06:48 — Ms. Pat on her criminal record and turnaround
• 12:22 — Parenting philosophies and discipline
• 15:04 — Nicknames for kids (“Ro Ro” for Monroe)
• 18:49 — Daughter saves and invests 80% of income
• 19:48 — Buying cars from funeral homes
• 25:41 — HGTV’s construction cost lies
• 28:12 — Negotiating everything (even prostitution)
• 35:26 — Ms. Pat on sex and separate bedrooms
• 36:27 — Her “toaster oven” hot bedroom
• 43:00 — TV shows and IRS audits
• 49:20 — Ms. Pat’s fan celebration party

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Tone & Language

The episode is brash, honest, and filled with unfiltered humor. Ms. Pat and Jeff both play off each other’s candor, with Ms. Pat often steering conversation toward blunt truths, personal stories, and practical advice—sometimes with wild zingers or explicit language. Zach provides comedic asides and stories about his own dating and home-buying misadventures. The banter is lively, sometimes raucous, reflecting both Ms. Pat’s standup roots and Jeff’s signature confessional style.

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Conclusion

A spirited, laugh-until-you-cry episode that toggles between real-life practicalities (buying a dead person’s car, crazy coupons, investing for your kids) and unrehearsed hilarity (see-through white babies, nicknaming children, bedroom hotboxes). Ms. Pat drops genuine life lessons amidst the laughs, urging self-reliance, honesty, and a little hustle in everything you do.

For more, check out Ms. Pat’s court show (“Ms. Pat Settles It” on BET) and follow her at @comedianmspat.

Transcript

[Ms. Pat]

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[Zach Noe Towers]

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[Jeff Lewis]

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[Ms. Pat]

When you're Jeff Lewis, the drama never stops.

[Jeff Lewis]

I have no problem prioritizing myself.

[Zach Noe Towers]

I'm glad that you're feeling so good.

[Ms. Pat]

About this, but the truth is, I.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Got fired and it's your fucking fault.

[Jeff Lewis]

She gets paid for this shit.

[Ms. Pat]

You get paid for this shit. Jeff Lewis has issues.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hey, welcome to Jeff Lewis has Issues. In Today's episode, comedians Ms. Pat and Zach Noe Towers join the show. We talk about buying cars from funeral homes, sleeping in separate bedrooms, and Zach's unoriginal Halloween costume. Good morning, Ms. Pat. It took a very long time to get you back here.

[Ms. Pat]

Good morning. I have to catch a plane here. It's a long wait, Jeff.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know, but you're in LA more often than I think, correct?

[Ms. Pat]

Only for a short time. And you know, we called. I got up this morning, I put my wig on, I took a shower for you, Jeff. I even I forgot to oil my feet. But other down to my knees, I'm cocoa butter down. I'm smooth like a baby butt. A black baby butt. Cause they the only one use cocoa butter.

[Jeff Lewis]

We appreciate you taking time to look so good. Cause honestly, I thought today when I was sitting in, I'm like, she's a very attractive woman.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Oh, yes, yes.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, I used to be the shit in the sixth grade, baby. Before this stomach started hanging over this cat. I was it.

[Zach Noe Towers]

So are you.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're here promoting your court show, right?

[Ms. Pat]

Yes. The third season just dropped last night on BET.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. And it's called Ms. Pat settles it. Third season. I didn't know this, but Keyon was telling me that how you found your bailiff?

[Ms. Pat]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Cause this is a crazy story.

[Ms. Pat]

I was on social media one night, cause I already had a bailiff and I'm strolling and this dude is funny. So if you don't like get your boss at work, you call him and make a complaint and he come to your job, it's a real company, and he cuss your comp, your job, your managers and stuff out. And that's what he do. Like if they don't like you, they don't. They call him and he come in here, he call you all kind of raggedy eyed white man. They call. He call you all kind of.

[Jeff Lewis]

You never know that before.

[Ms. Pat]

But he'll come up with some funny.

[Jeff Lewis]

Nothing I haven't heard.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, if he come up in here, it'll be something you never heard. So they hired, he's free too. So they tell him to go up there and he cuss out everybody. And I thought it was hilarious.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so if I'm not. Let's just say I'm not completely happy with every single executive at SiriusXM or, you know, other companies. I can hire this guy.

[Ms. Pat]

Yep.

[Jeff Lewis]

And it's completely anonymous. He'll walk right into my boss's office.

[Ms. Pat]

And ask for your boss and tell him everything you said about it, never mention your name. And he makes sure that they treat you better.

[Jeff Lewis]

They'll know it's coming for me.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

So it's gotta be a big company, right? Because I mean like my business. Well, no, I don't know. It could be any of the ten employees.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, you're.

[Zach Noe Towers]

He's gonna start showing up a lot at your house.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, let's not advertise that on here.

[Zach Noe Towers]

He's gonna start showing up here in the studio. We're gonna hire him to show up in the studio.

[Ms. Pat]

But he don't. You. You'll never know who called you because he's. They, they literally tells the problem of the whole office. They'll tell. They tell on everybody. So you don't know where the call came from, but it's really, it's hard.

[Jeff Lewis]

And this. Is he still doing this because. Can I hire him in la?

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, he'll come up here.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, I got a few people in this building.

[Ms. Pat]

I mean it is hilarious. You hear me when I tell you? He is hilarious. He be in there smoking in their office and everything. Wow.

[Jeff Lewis]

Has he ever been forcibly removed? Has anyone ever called the cops?

[Ms. Pat]

They call the cops on him all the time. He probably. He'd been sued too, I heard.

[Jeff Lewis]

Sued?

[Ms. Pat]

Yes, One Company sued him.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Damn.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so you find this guy on TikTok and then you hire him.

[Ms. Pat]

He's a comedian. He's really a comedian, but this is what he does, I guess, you know, everybody need that little boost in their career.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

So that's how I found him. But he's really funny. Really funny.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Are you going to take him on the road or anything?

[Ms. Pat]

I just know Asian rat live with Occupational care, diversity affairs, ID number 33712. And I was just telling her we were just coming up here to go over some complaints and see what's going on. It'll take only three to five minutes.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Oh, my God.

[Jeff Lewis]

And they let him in the office.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Under the guise of like, we're going.

[Ms. Pat]

And right here say you act like you on crack. Look, you either don't or you not. Okay, I'm gonna ask you to leave. Nah. Cause you come to work playing like you a crackhead, you gonna fuck around and manifest it. You gonna around be a real basis with your base head ass. Sit your ass back down. We gonna go over these meeting and you bring Tiffany ass back. We already called the police for our own safety. And Tiffany, it say right here that you always letting people know when you on your period. So stop telling people that you on your period. That is nasty.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Oh, my God.

[Jeff Lewis]

All right, I gotta. I gotta follow this guy.

[Ms. Pat]

So funny. You gotta go down his timeline and watch those other take. This is a new one. He had me hollering, you know what? And I can't. He had a. He got a black dude one day and told him. He said, you ain't you the only. You the only I know that'll put his face on the side of his car with his company ain't. I'm sorry, do you need to bleep the N word? Too late.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, it's live. Can't do anything about it.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, that's all right.

[Ms. Pat]

It came out of my mouth. Not y'.

[Jeff Lewis]

Alls right.

[Ms. Pat]

So is it.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think that was Zach that said that.

[Zach Noe Towers]

And Jeff says it all the time.

[Ms. Pat]

I'm sorry, I won't give you another one, but you gotta go watch it. It is hilarious. It's hilarious. So he's my bailiff.

[Jeff Lewis]

I wanna. So I don't. For people that don't remember your appearance last time. You've had an amazing life. And you started off with very. With a lot of struggles in. You got pregnant at 15.

[Ms. Pat]

14.

[Jeff Lewis]

14. You were arrested and incarcerated for. Was it robbing a bank? What did you do.

[Ms. Pat]

Do I look like bank robbing? No. I don't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't know what you did.

[Zach Noe Towers]

I thought it was she shot you.

[Ms. Pat]

Can you please give me black people crimes? That ain't no black people crimes. That's a white person crimes. Insurance. Crack. They gave me a white person crime. Was that robbing a bank? How many times you see black people rob banks? If they do, they just say, give me enough for cigarettes. No, I was. I was selling crack. So I had two. My first kid at 14, my second kid at 15 by a married man. And then I went to prison for selling crack when I was 17. 18. I did a year and a half, got out, sold a little bit more crack for some chicks, and met a black man with back teeth who helped me turn my life around.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. Was that Garrett?

[Ms. Pat]

That's Garrett.

[Jeff Lewis]

And you're still with him 32 years.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Damn.

[Ms. Pat]

We in separate bedrooms now, but we still kicking it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Really?

[Ms. Pat]

I wouldn't trade that fat man for the world.

[Zach Noe Towers]

That's what I say about Jeff.

[Ms. Pat]

Yes, that's my boo, baby.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, because I was just wondering, because you've obviously done very well for yourself. You are now a wealthy woman, and I was concerned.

[Ms. Pat]

I'm. Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

I was wondering if you didn't divorce him because you didn't want to give him half.

[Ms. Pat]

I don't have any problems with my husband. And, you know, for years, I probably wouldn't be where I'm at today without my husband. There was so many times he, you know, he didn't understand what I was trying to do, but he funded it, whether he was willing or not. I stole his credit cards. I go in his bank account, I will buy a ticket, and I'm making $200, and I put $500 on his credit card. And I just told my husband, I said, if you will. Hang on. This is gonna pay off. He couldn't see the bigger picture.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

And I said, one day I'm gonna ask you to retire from General Mo. Get your ass out here. Stop using my credit card. Now, he just sat at the house and he cleane and he taking his dogs, and he been retired for almost four years now. And I told him, I said, I told your fat ass I was gonna retire you.

[Zach Noe Towers]

You got a fat pool, boy. I love it.

[Ms. Pat]

Yes, I got a fat pool.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now is the reason he's a fat pool boy is because you've got to be a good cook, right?

[Ms. Pat]

No, I can't cook. Jeff. He's a good kid.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, he cooks because you were Saying because we were talking a little bit about J. Jameson, you want to join us? Oh, why are you on the phone? Are you talking to your boyfriend?

[Ms. Pat]

Something's going wrong.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, something's up over there. I've never seen Jameson take a phone call in the corner in the studio.

[Zach Noe Towers]

He has to call like engineering or something.

[Jeff Lewis]

Maybe the phones are probably down or something. You said that the black cooking would help Jameson's ibs.

[Ms. Pat]

Yes, it would. It was. It was a. Stop him up.

[Zach Noe Towers]

He probably clear it right out.

[Ms. Pat]

He probably eating kale, you know, all the healthy stuff that come. Redding.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, it's like a diuretic, but yes.

[Ms. Pat]

You need something gonna stick to you like some cornbread, some. Some butter beans. Look how small is. If you. If you whistle, he'll crack. You know the thing I learned about white? I used to be a medical assistant, right? And it was. I went through the welfare to work program through Bill Clinton, and. And that program was created for lazy people like me. So make them a long story short, I get. I get a job. I get my GED because of Bill Clinton, because he forced us to stop, you know, living out the system. And then I went to become a medical assistant. I get a job at an all white doctor's office. Now I'm a little black girl from the hood. I don't. It's Peachtree City. If you know Atlanta, that's very rich and white. I live there now, but I never thought I'd be living there. Make a long story short, I'm working at this doctor's office, nothing but white babies coming in now. And I had to do exam. And I didn't know anything about white people other than the police and a judge. Do you know. I don't know if y' all know this, but if you hold white babies up to the light bulb, you can see through them.

[Jeff Lewis]

They're translucent.

[Ms. Pat]

Yes, they're invisible.

[Jeff Lewis]

White babies are invisible.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Jameson's still.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, I bet you put a light on his chest, you can see clean through his butt.

[Zach Noe Towers]

I guarantee you we'll do it at the break.

[Ms. Pat]

I'm gonna let you do that, Jeff.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, you said you went home with Frank.

[Zach Noe Towers]

I did.

[Jeff Lewis]

To meet his family.

[Ms. Pat]

Did you fake his name?

[Zach Noe Towers]

That's his fake name. His real name is Brandon.

[Ms. Pat]

No, no, don't say fake name. We don't say that. We say nicknames.

[Zach Noe Towers]

No, no, that's not that. That's our name for him on the show here.

[Ms. Pat]

And what you call him?

[Zach Noe Towers]

Frunk.

[Ms. Pat]

Frunk.

[Jeff Lewis]

His name is Brandon.

[Ms. Pat]

Is it Frunk? Cause he thick in the front.

[Jeff Lewis]

He is actually as thick in the front.

[Ms. Pat]

I know he black. I've been there, Jeff. That's why he got ibf. A human plunger. You can't stay stopped up when you got no black man, Jeff.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you go home with Frank, with Brandon's family, and you enjoy some black cooking.

[Zach Noe Towers]

His mother is an amazing cook. She fed me so well. I know she did everything, but I barely made it to that airport the next day. We were on borrowed time.

[Jeff Lewis]

Why is that? What in particular did you eat?

[Zach Noe Towers]

I have everything. I mean, we had ribs, we had greens, we had cornbread, we had cake, we had cookies. I just ate everything.

[Ms. Pat]

And you can't tell a black mama that you not hungry. She don't want to hear that. Eat. And you think he gonna tell her?

[Jeff Lewis]

No.

[Zach Noe Towers]

No. And they kept being like, wow, you're going back for more. I'm like, it's so good. I'm like a dog with a bag of food. Like, I can't stop if it's good.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, but then you paid for it later.

[Zach Noe Towers]

I did. Sorry to the Orlando airport. My apologies.

[Jeff Lewis]

Sorry for the plumbing.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Yeah. Sorry.

[Jeff Lewis]

Mishaps. Wow. Okay. Now you think white people are soft on their kids?

[Ms. Pat]

Who told you that?

[Jeff Lewis]

That's what Kian told me. You said that we should be yelling at our kids more.

[Ms. Pat]

Everybody should be yelling at that kid.

[Jeff Lewis]

I actually. I read that, and I agree.

[Ms. Pat]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think I'm too soft on that kid.

[Ms. Pat]

You got a kid?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, she's nine.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah. No, if you don't. If you be soft on them, they're gonna be hard on you. I don't play that.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's what's happening. Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

So you play. Don't play games. Cause you play games, you get messed up. So, I mean, you gotta be. To me, you gotta be just straight with them. I don't play. I'm not your friend. I brought you here, and I don't mind taking you out of here because you have a nice insurance policy on your head, and I could easily turn you into a cad. Cause that's what I'm gonna buy after I kill you.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm just curious what I would want. Cause we were talking about me coming for the weekend to your house.

[Ms. Pat]

Are you really gonna come. Come do my bedroom over, please.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think we would have a great weekend together.

[Ms. Pat]

We would have a great weekend. I have custody of my. These kids who. Their mommy's on crack. They was born on some stuff, but I got it out of them, so they pretty good kids. But they will call you Uncle Jeff.

[Jeff Lewis]

You know, and they don't have a white uncle.

[Ms. Pat]

No. Where we gonna get one from? Ain't like they sell y' all at Target. And, you know, we can't go to Target right now, so you definitely not at Walmart.

[Jeff Lewis]

But you had four children of your own, but then you adopted four other children. Is that correct?

[Ms. Pat]

Well, this is my second. This is my third set that I've adopted. So I had their mama, which is my sister kids. Now I have my sister. I have my sister grandkids.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wow. So are you paying for their education and doing all that? And you're housing them and feeding them and clothing them and all of that?

[Ms. Pat]

And I don't get anything. Nothing. I used to get a small welfare check, which I'm still eligible for, but my husband was like, pat, you shouldn't get it. You don't need it. But I was getting it and putting it in the bank for them.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Oh, yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think that's why God's so good to you.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah. So I just stopped and I just take care of them now. So. And I tell them. And they. I had one of them since she was two weeks old, and she is so bougie, Jeff. And I mean, like, she be picking at kids. Do you see our house? Y' all are poor. And I said, let me talk to you for a minute. I said, do you know your real mama smoke crack? And you should make fun at people. Cause I would drive you through the hood and let you see your mama selling pussy. So don't do that. So I threatened her all the time about her real mama being a crackhead.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, we're having. We have a.

[Ms. Pat]

Don't be no bully.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. My daughter lives in her own world as well. And when on the. When we were on the 101 or the 110. Sorry. She saw some tents on the side of the freeway, and she wanted to know why they were camping there. So she thought they were doing that by choice. So I actually wouldn't mind a weekend and see how you parent, because I could be a little harder on her.

[Ms. Pat]

Well, bring it to my house with you.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, Yeah. I wouldn't straighten her out.

[Ms. Pat]

I would say, set your ass down. What's her name?

[Jeff Lewis]

Monroe.

[Ms. Pat]

Monroe. Oh, she be Roro. Cause we gotta break it down in the black neighborhood. Monroe just ain't gonna rock in my house, you know.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Ms. Pat]

We can Sayishas and Yolanda's and Raymond. We can't be. No. Monroe's ain't gonna fit. But we Gonna call her. Okay, Ro Ro, set your chunky ass down. Yeah, yeah. It's bony, huh?

[Jeff Lewis]

It's bony. She could also gain a little weight.

[Ms. Pat]

She can also. Well, you bring them.

[Jeff Lewis]

She doesn't eat. Wait. Wait till you see. She's so picky. What do you do with those kids that don't eat?

[Ms. Pat]

They don't eat.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, they don't eat you either. Eat you.

[Ms. Pat]

So you eat what I tell you to eat. Yeah, I'm not. I'm not running. I have one kid that from one of these crack babies I have. I don't know what it was. Well, her mama was smoking when she was pregnant with her. She would not eat me. And I think it because her mama turned tricks and was sucking on meat while she was pregnant so the kid would not eat meat. She's a vegan. God.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, you think. You think Jameson would be a vegan by now.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Thanks, Jeff and Zach.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Lord knows.

[Ms. Pat]

But she would not eat meat. But other than her, they're not picky. I was like, this is what we gonna eat. But I don't play no games either.

[Jeff Lewis]

And then how many times. So if you say, go up to bed, brush your teeth, get your pajamas on, do you just say it once or you have to say it four times? Like me?

[Ms. Pat]

No. Eight o'. Clock. Give me your phones. Good night. I don't care if you brush your teeth. I don't care if you take a bath. Just do it before you leave in the morning. Cause I get in the bed dirty all the time.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, okay.

[Ms. Pat]

I don't like to take baths at night.

[Jeff Lewis]

Really?

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah. Cause I'm Big Jeff and I need to turn and sweat. And if I take a bath, I'm gonna smell like I did before I got into bed. So I might well do everything in the morning.

[Jeff Lewis]

I do twice. I don't take baths, but I shower twice. Ms. Pat, I like going to bed clean and then I shower, get a bath, I go to bed clean.

[Ms. Pat]

As soon as I take my clothes off, I'm clean. My skin didn't touch nothing, just the clothes I had on.

[Jeff Lewis]

What kind of lotion are you using?

[Ms. Pat]

Cocoa butter. Black people specialty.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. Because when I had dated this black guy and I was a little ashy and he bought me cerave and I've been using that on my body and it's been working out pretty well for me.

[Ms. Pat]

Well, the black dude you dated who bought you Sarah V. Had money. Okay. That's why you got Sarah V. I see what happened. He was dating a white guy. He didn't want to give you cocoa butter. Cause your head probably slid right up out his house. That stuff is greasy.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. So if he didn't have any money, I would have got cocoa butter.

[Ms. Pat]

Probably so.

[Zach Noe Towers]

But because he had some money, doesn't it sound butter?

[Ms. Pat]

It is better.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you're not ashy.

[Ms. Pat]

Why were you saying my feet is ashy? Because I didn't know my feet. Cause I jumped out the tub and ran over here and put lotion everywhere else. And I had a couple other. I had something else to do before I got here this morning. But I'm always using cocoa butter. That's what we use now.

[Jeff Lewis]

The other thing too that I'm kind of interested in is that you said that black people will kick their kids out of their house at 18.

[Ms. Pat]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

You don't understand that.

[Ms. Pat]

I don't. I stopped. I used to, I used to have that same mentality until. Yes. And I, I couldn't understand. Well, that's just the black community. We was like, you gotta go at 18. And then I, as I, as my career started to grow and I started to pay attention to other people, I realized if you let your kids stay there, they can develop more.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

So what I did is I built my daughter her separate house on our property. She had a two bedroom, three baths. And that way I said, stay here. She'd be like, I want to move. I said, you should just stay here because the rent is feet free and save your money.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

So she been there, she wrote on the show for five season. And I said, well, you doing nothing with your money, it's time for you to invest. So I went to, I was like, garyana, let's start buying houses together. I said, give me a hundred thousand dollars. I was just, you know, trying to see if she had money. That half a gave me a hundred thousand dollars. I said, I think this fact chick rich.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's smart.

[Ms. Pat]

She's been, she been investing her money. And she learned this because I raised her in Plainfield, Indiana versus my first set of kids in Atlanta, Georgia. She invests her money. She invests 80 of her paycheck from writing on all the shows that I ever had. And she don't buy name brand stuff.

[Zach Noe Towers]

80?

[Ms. Pat]

Yes. Wow. She only live off 20%. Yes. And she don't play. And I went to her and I said, gary, it's time for you to do something with your money money. So I got it with my financial advisor. And then I also, I told her, I said, gary, let's buy some houses together. I asked her for a hundred thousand dollars. She transferred it. I looked at my husband, I said, that big got $100,000. Not ex up pay a thousand dollar worth of rent. And she wouldn't pay it. And she won't pay me rent for nothing. She's smart, but she is smart. And I'm trying to. So the things that I'm learning about money because it wasn't taught to me, I'm trying to go back and share it with my friends and family members. Like I have a nephew who was that by here pay. He'll call. Keep people poor no matter what. Race you. Is all that going and borrowing money and gotta pay it back. Y' all gotta. Y' all just gonna have to suffer through it. So what I did for my nephew is I bought him a car that somebody I knew who daddy died. So if you, if you want to buy somebody a car, I'm telling you now, look up your local funeral home and see who died and call that family member, ask him, do they want to sell that person car because it's no longer useful to for them. They did. Instead of going to a car lot, go to the fun.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's really smart. You're absolutely right.

[Ms. Pat]

Thank you.

[Jeff Lewis]

When my grandmother passed, I sold that beautiful Mercedes for like 20 grand.

[Ms. Pat]

Thank you.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're right. I just wanted it gone. I wanted to move on.

[Ms. Pat]

And I just bought a truck from that person.

[Jeff Lewis]

You did?

[Ms. Pat]

Yes. And I gave it to my nephew and I said, this is your start over. So get rid of that buy here, pay here car and once it go back, I will help you pay whatever they say you owe. And then he want to move into a bigger house. He got four kids. I said, there's no way. I said, the best thing for you to do is your house ain't you only owe 90 on it. Take some money out of it and renovate it and take the other part of the money and pay off the car so y' all can be debt free. All you got is a mortgage. And I said, it's time for us black people. And I'm talking to us black people to learn about some finances. Because I didn't know either. When I first made it, I was buying Louis Vuitton and Gucci and I said, hey, this ain't no value to me. This gonna get my head knocked over, somebody running my house. So I just said I'm gonna start invest, you know, things I want to pay off. My car, my rental properties, all of them are paid off. Paid off. So. And then I tell my daughter, I said, that's liquid money. In case you need a couple hundred thousand dollars. I can easily go pull a million dollars out of the properties if I needed them. And those are the things that I'm trying to share with my friends and family members and stuff. You can't just let your money sit in Chase Bank. It doesn't earn anything. You need to take it over the fidelity of those other companies and so.

[Jeff Lewis]

Y' all listening? Keon, Annie, Shane, and.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Don't.

[Jeff Lewis]

Zach.

[Ms. Pat]

And, you know, if you do something for me, like, I have a. I have a. Have a. I have an investor that only does people with money. But I said, if I'm gonna hire you, you gotta help my poor friends. You gotta at least take them on. You're not gonna make much money. But if they got $50,000 to invest or $20,000, help them out. You gotta start somewhere. Yeah, we all did. So the guy that I'm working with, he was like, just sell them to me, Pat. They don't have a lot of money. They don't have the money that I have. But he will show them how to invest, and that's very important.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you and your daughter just bought your first rental property together?

[Ms. Pat]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

And you're together?

[Ms. Pat]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Is that the one where you said the Gutterman is on meth?

[Ms. Pat]

That's the Gutter man. Yeah. No, no, that's the Gutterman who was a mega fan. That. I really liked him. Oh, but I did. I liked him.

[Jeff Lewis]

How'd you know he was on meth?

[Ms. Pat]

He got no teeth and he white. He drive pickup truck.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so those are the signs.

[Ms. Pat]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

White pickup truck and then no teeth.

[Ms. Pat]

Yes.

[Zach Noe Towers]

You. You can have two of the three, but if you have all three.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah. And you know, white people ain't losing their teeth from eating apples. Don't play with me.

[Jeff Lewis]

How are you working with your daughter? Well.

[Ms. Pat]

Well, you know, my daughter just let me buy the property, and then I told her, I said, what we're gonna do is we take the rent money and we'll take. We. We can put it in bank, or we split it down to half, and you. You invest it. I don't need it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Or save for the next property.

[Ms. Pat]

You save for the next property. So we just. We just got that one, and we looking at buying another one together.

[Jeff Lewis]

So Ms. Pat Zackie over here has been a great saver. He's got a nice big down payment for a condo. Did you look at Northwest Knoll number 106? Okay, what did you think it smelled like smoke? Who cares? You can paint it.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Okay. I didn't know that.

[Ms. Pat]

You can clean it.

[Zach Noe Towers]

No. Ultimately it has two offers on it. This place has been on the market for a month. And so I went to go see it, but two offers were put on it this weekend. So I'm like, I'm letting it go, but I'm really glad I saw it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Go look at the other one. There's 109, I think too, in the.

[Zach Noe Towers]

In the same building.

[Jeff Lewis]

Go look at the other one.

[Ms. Pat]

How much is it?

[Zach Noe Towers]

They're asking 639.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, okay. That ain't much up here for a.

[Jeff Lewis]

Two bedroom, two bath.

[Ms. Pat]

You can know what you can get.

[Jeff Lewis]

And by the way, Prime West Hollywood.

[Zach Noe Towers]

I, I would cry. Don't make us upset.

[Ms. Pat]

You could probably get 10,000 square feet. I bought my property that I own. I paid $480,000 for seven acres. And it was a 35, about a 4,000 square foot house on it. And I knocked it down.

[Jeff Lewis]

Whole house just raised it.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, I knocked it down and I put a 15,000 square foot house, a dog house, a pool house, my daughter house, and a swimming pool and a whole turf area for the kids in ground pool. I mean, in ground trampoline. And I still got acres. Wow.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Can I just build a place there?

[Jeff Lewis]

And you were saying? You won't even know I was asking you. It's worth low to mid threes now.

[Ms. Pat]

Yes, yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

But you're pissed because it's pissed because.

[Ms. Pat]

When I was building this house, I didn't think farther than my taxes was going to go up. I didn't think about.

[Jeff Lewis]

They reassessed you?

[Ms. Pat]

Yes. My taxes are like 25,000 and the insurance is like 20,000. I'm fighting with the county. Hey, my house ain't worth this much. They like, girl, get the hell outta here. So I hired an architect, right, to try to take the price down. He said, ma', am, I lose my license telling these lies for you.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you pulled all those permits and then it signaled the city and then they reassessed.

[Ms. Pat]

Well, you have to because I knocked the house.

[Jeff Lewis]

You have to.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, yeah, I had to knock the whole house down.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think you should have a show on hgtv.

[Ms. Pat]

I think hgtv. You need some flavor. Okay? You need some flavor. You need somebody to come through there and say, hell, you need somebody to come through there and just tell the truth. I've been, I've been saying this forever. If not hgtv, Amazon, Hulu. Do you want a big black Woman who ain't gonna be inside the box, but gonna step outside the box and tell her how it is. Jeff, you've been doing this stuff a long time. Why don't you give me a show? Yeah, you should be somewhere.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think you'd be great with your own show.

[Ms. Pat]

That's right. You should come to my house first and redo my bedroom. And then you should go and say, hey, my new friend, Ms. Pat need a show and I want to be the executive producer.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Ms. Pat]

Yes. And we only do. And we do pick.

[Jeff Lewis]

So give me an example of why they lie.

[Ms. Pat]

Why who lie?

[Jeff Lewis]

Why these shows lie. Give me an example where you have been watching and be like, that is.

[Ms. Pat]

Well, when I used to watch AGTV and I watched the episode one time and they was like, how much is it to take down this wall? She was like, eighteen hundred dollars. And I'm like, girl, stop lying. All it take is a hammer. You knock a hole in there and it's a cup of studs and you kick the studs down and move the electrical wire and the wall is down. Why would I give somebody $1,800 for that? So the more I watched, I'd probably pay 4. But you know what, a lot of people do.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

So when I, I told you I did my neighbor house next door, right. Cuz she had gutters hanging there. So I was actually putting.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, is that the guy from the meth on meth?

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, he. Yeah.

[Zach Noe Towers]

So I, I bet, I bet he.

[Ms. Pat]

Was fast to put those.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, yeah, he must have a lot of energy.

[Ms. Pat]

He did a. He. He was good, but he pissed me off. He said something wrong and I just.

[Jeff Lewis]

What'd he say?

[Ms. Pat]

He said, you know, I would listen to your, your, your side of how you vote, whatever. I'm a big Democrat. He said, michelle Obama is a man. I said, well, how do you know? They say she a man. I. If I tell you I'm a trans man too. You ain't no man. I said, well, how you know? You ain't never looked between my legs. I said, how do you know that I'm not what you saying Michelle Obama is? She had two kids. I had two kids. We just niggas out here having babies. I'm sorry. I got excited. I'm sorry. I ain't gonna say no.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm shocked that he would get political. I like to get political in front of his client.

[Ms. Pat]

But he pulled up in the neighborhood, he had Trump Safari on meth. But he's a nice guy, but he's a Nice guy.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm shocked.

[Ms. Pat]

He didn't make sound decisions. Yes. So I asked him, I. You got to take your trumpet off you in the hood. I said, I want to protect you. And then you start. That's like you. That's a.

[Jeff Lewis]

You.

[Ms. Pat]

You being racist. I said, sir, if you came to my house, I told you, take your shoes off. That's the same thing. Don't bring that in my house. It's about respect. I'm hiring you, no matter what your beliefs are, because I think you honestly is a nice person. And I like them.

[Jeff Lewis]

How do the gutters look?

[Ms. Pat]

They look good, but I fired them and hired me a Mexican.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. Are they better at gutters?

[Ms. Pat]

I don't know. But you play with me. Me, I set you on fire.

[Jeff Lewis]

Good to know. I love it. Ms. P, we had a problem with that gutter guy, remember?

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, he had a crazy ego.

[Jeff Lewis]

He was like, unbelievable. Like, he's. He's got a big company here in LA and everybody uses.

[Ms. Pat]

You don't use big companies.

[Jeff Lewis]

No.

[Ms. Pat]

You use small businesses.

[Jeff Lewis]

He was an to deal with.

[Ms. Pat]

So I put a roof on my rental house for three.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Saying that about you right now.

[Jeff Lewis]

True.

[Ms. Pat]

So I put a roof on my rental house for three grand. And I told my contractor, I said, well, hook up my neighbor. He said, since I'm already here, give me 1500. That's how I roll. I roll in discounts. So then you're not gonna roll up in my house with no whole sheet long. I don't care what your price is. I'm an ex drug dealer, so we gotta do some talking.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you negotiate everything?

[Ms. Pat]

I negotiate everything. Even back when I was a prostitute, it was negotiable.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Hell, yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

Higher, of course.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, you'd negotiate higher? Yeah, yeah, I'd negotiate lower just to get the deal done.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Y' all should do a client swap where you.

[Ms. Pat]

You give me one of them bougie white people from Hollywood, and you send.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Jeff to Atlanta with a hundred thousand dollars.

[Ms. Pat]

I can see them now with they Botox negro lips. I'm saying, bitch, come on here.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh.

[Ms. Pat]

She tapping in her little Chanel shoes or her pocketbook. I'm like, you better put that shit down before they rob you. Oh, that would be hilarious, Jo. And I give you my neighbor, Ms. Teeny Honey, who thinks she is your neighbor. Yes, her name is Tina, honey. Oh, honey. She'll back it up on you, Jeff, when she get through with you. You'll like black some, but it won't be what you used to.

[Jeff Lewis]

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[Ms. Pat]

Day date and the person doesn't respond?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

Or the person who's not responding didn't like what you did.

[Jeff Lewis]

Exactly. Exactly. But don't you know that after the first time, the text. I understand. Oh, maybe they didn't get the first text.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Do you want to. Do you want to tell him how it ended, though? I got that dick.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah. What?

[Zach Noe Towers]

I got that dick.

[Jeff Lewis]

What? Yeah, he didn't tell me that part.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Got that dick.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wait, so did he call you back?

[Zach Noe Towers]

He texted. Yeah. I knew. I know what I'm doing. It was a fuckboy from Canada who was here for a limited time only. He was very busy. I just kept shooting my shot and then I got Mine in Kian.

[Jeff Lewis]

You didn't tell me that part. There's a happy.

[Zach Noe Towers]

It's in the video that you're looking at.

[Ms. Pat]

You recorded the video?

[Zach Noe Towers]

I was on another podcast and someone called me out for triple texting.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, okay. Well, was it good?

[Jeff Lewis]

It was great.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, Canadian. So you could just have sex like that?

[Zach Noe Towers]

Age 24 years.

[Ms. Pat]

You can just have sex and walk away like that?

[Zach Noe Towers]

It's on demand.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh my God.

[Jeff Lewis]

How long did it take for him to text? Ooh.

[Ms. Pat]

What? This is why don't order Uber Eats. It's in the booty, baby. I don't want to Uber Eats.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, he just. You said something that confused Ms. Pat. Because we were talking about this condo. 837 Northwest Hollywood. Oh my God. We should suck. Stop.

[Zach Noe Towers]

In case I.

[Jeff Lewis]

And what you like about it is you said end quote.

[Zach Noe Towers]

It's in the butthole of West Hollywood.

[Jeff Lewis]

And Ms. Pat was not sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, the butthole.

[Zach Noe Towers]

It's the juicy creature. It's the best bite, period.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so I guess it's a good thing.

[Ms. Pat]

Ms. Ma. Sex sure has changed since I've been having it. We never said juicy Kruzy in the center.

[Jeff Lewis]

We don't say that either.

[Ms. Pat]

Sex to me is just two pumps and we both sleep. I don't even think my husband have time to pick up my breasts and suck on it before we both fall asleep. I'm done. Hey, the older you get, the more it's sleep. Slow down. Okay.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Bedrooms. How long have you been doing separate bedrooms?

[Ms. Pat]

About two years now. And it's lovely.

[Jeff Lewis]

I bet.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh my God, I love it. And I love my husband even more just for participating in it. It's just so nice not to sleep. And my husband passed a lot of gas while he sleeps, of course. And you know, he like a very hard mattress. I like a soft mattress. We just not compatible with that, you know. Go on over there, you know. And then plus like I said, Jeff, with him not sleeping in bed, me, I don't have to take a bath because you know, you get up on the COVID them odors. Get the ramen and I to bed and smell myself now.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Yep. And body heat. Too much body heat.

[Ms. Pat]

His. His boob on top of my boob. And we sticking together cuz we both ain't got on no shirts. None of that no more, Jeff. We just. Oh, baby.

[Jeff Lewis]

And what about the temperature of your home? Are you. Pretty much.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, my husband is. It's. It be freezing. But I sleep with a Heater in my room all year round, and it's on 90. You walk in my room, baby, it feel like a toaster oven.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Even in summer?

[Ms. Pat]

Even in the summer. I love it.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Really? Oh, my God, yes.

[Ms. Pat]

I cannot stand air condition. I didn't grow up with air condition, so why you giving it to me now?

[Zach Noe Towers]

It's so good.

[Ms. Pat]

We grew up with hand fans and flies.

[Jeff Lewis]

So. Okay, so it's good that you have separate bedrooms.

[Ms. Pat]

Yes.

[Zach Noe Towers]

You should tell the tax assessor that. Be like, I got flies in it.

[Ms. Pat]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, I wanted to ask you. So you've raised all these children. How are. How are their grades?

[Ms. Pat]

They decent? I mean, they don't. My minds don't go to private school. They go to public school. Okay. So. But they're pretty good. They can go to college. I can tell you that.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you make studying a priority. I mean, how do you make sure. How do you know that they're doing their homework? Are you on top of them about that?

[Ms. Pat]

My daughter is. And then I say, do your damn homework.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah. So I don't have a problem with that. You know? And then I'm. I have a very good relationship with the school and the teacher. So if they need. They need anything, they text and they call me, and then I relay it to my daughter. Daughter Garyana, who's live at home. And she take care of all of that. Her and my husband.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's nice.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so they're all doing well in school.

[Ms. Pat]

They pretty good. They could do better, but they all right.

[Jeff Lewis]

My kid was a little behind, but she's catching up. And we were. I'm very proud of her. Their last three spelling tests, she got 100 on. Now, Annie, what did you say? Like, when she's older, she can be a speller? Is that what you said?

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah. Why not?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. I mean, that's the goal.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Exactly.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

What a queen.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

A what?

[Zach Noe Towers]

A speller.

[Ms. Pat]

What's a speller?

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't know, but I mean, I think that's the goal. We all want to know how to spell.

[Zach Noe Towers]

No, I know.

[Ms. Pat]

There's no such thing as.

[Zach Noe Towers]

I'm just trying to believe in her, okay?

[Ms. Pat]

She can spell.

[Zach Noe Towers]

That's what she's got.

[Ms. Pat]

She won't be a speller. Say she can be a reader. She got to use what she can spell. I never heard nobody been a speller. I mean, you say speller, I'm thinking she having seizures. She up under spell. Yeah. So she can be a reader.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, she was very excited and she was, you know, Annie, Was trying to be supportive. She said when you get older, you can be a speller.

[Ms. Pat]

That's what you told her?

[Zach Noe Towers]

Yeah, of course. I believe in her.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, yeah. Okay. So, yeah, just bring the baby on my house. I ain't gonna tell her. She gonna be no speller.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you're restoring a 1972 Chevy Chevelle?

[Ms. Pat]

I am. I have a 70 and a 72. So that's the 70 that you see. My. It's for my husband. It's part of his retirement. It's almost done. Done. It's almost done.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you've been restoring it since April?

[Ms. Pat]

Yes. I was trying to get it to him for his birthday, but it has so much rust and. And it was so beat down. So I'm gonna get. I'm. Hopefully I can get it by Christmas.

[Jeff Lewis]

What does that cost to restore an old car like that?

[Ms. Pat]

Well, I bought it from a man who stole a bunch of money as a city counselor in Decatur, Georgia. He went. The feds took him to jail. So he was trying to get off all of his stuff.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

So I bought the car from him and I didn't realize he kind of like redid it, but he didn't do it because. Good. So I think I got like 125 in it.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Wow.

[Jeff Lewis]

What. What's it worth?

[Ms. Pat]

Nothing. I don't know. Probably. Probably a couple.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Why that car?

[Ms. Pat]

But. Because my husband loved it.

[Zach Noe Towers]

A.

[Ms. Pat]

But I went all out for it too. So. It was a gift for my husband.

[Jeff Lewis]

125,000.

[Zach Noe Towers]

That's beautiful.

[Jeff Lewis]

So I'm a little worried about.

[Ms. Pat]

Old cars are worth money.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. No, you can get some money for it. I don't know what it's worth.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, I've seen them sell for Jameson.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you doing some research?

[Ms. Pat]

Well, yeah, that's. That's it. But his is brown. His is brown with that white.

[Jeff Lewis]

Completely restored. Maybe you just say how much is a completely restored 1970 Chevy Chevelle? So my account, which worries me because he's my accountant. He bought a prius used for eight grand.

[Ms. Pat]

2008.

[Zach Noe Towers]

This is your accountant?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Are they not doing well?

[Jeff Lewis]

You think I should pay him more?

[Zach Noe Towers]

I don't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, he works for me full time. He works for me full time. He's like my full time accountant.

[Zach Noe Towers]

And he only got an $8,000 car. This is a. He worked for a year.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, okay. Before you start making the big bucks.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Anyway, so he buys this Prius for eight grand. He doesn't get it inspected. Turns out a few weeks later that There is a family of rats living in the car. They chew through all the wires.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

He tries to take the car back. They wouldn't take it back. He spends $9,000 fixing the $8,000 car. He's now in it at $17,000. You want to know what it's worth, Ms. Pat? What, six?

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah, well, he got to think about it like this, Jeff. He ain't got no car note.

[Jeff Lewis]

He got what?

[Ms. Pat]

He don't have a car note.

[Jeff Lewis]

True, but it's 17,000 for a $6,000 car.

[Ms. Pat]

No. And then he said that he wanted to get a new car next year.

[Jeff Lewis]

I was like, bitch, you're gonna drive.

[Zach Noe Towers]

That for the rest of your life until it fucking.

[Jeff Lewis]

And I have a question because could he have pulled a Patrick and Poll and said to the insurance company, I.

[Ms. Pat]

Was just about to say that rats.

[Jeff Lewis]

Infested and then total the corporation car?

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah.

[Zach Noe Towers]

But I didn't think about it because I told we me and Keon told him this and he was like, oh.

[Ms. Pat]

Well, also, most men don't have brain cells.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, I'm worried because he's managing my money, Ms. Pat.

[Ms. Pat]

Well, just because he managing your money, ain't you managing your money too? Yes, because I watch everybody.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, I watch everything.

[Ms. Pat]

Anything you do to my account, I have to approve it.

[Jeff Lewis]

There's something I got to tell you for our HGTV show that I'm going to be executive producing. But did you find out how much the Chevelle is?

[Zach Noe Towers]

I did. And it's Good news for Ms. Pat. Generally, according to the Internet, it says 50 to 90, but a premium mod can get 80 to 150.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, you're gonna make money. I bet it's worth 150 because I saw pics of it.

[Ms. Pat]

It's nice.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's gorgeous.

[Ms. Pat]

It is.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. I feel good about this.

[Ms. Pat]

I'm trying not to make too many bad investments.

[Jeff Lewis]

When you we do our HGTV show, where I got screwed is what they would do is Jeff bought this place for 600, sold it for 850 and made 250. And that's not what happened. I bought it for 600, I put in 150. I paid the agent commissions and the closing costs and I netted like 45. But what they would do is they'd bullshit, exaggerate. So guess what, irs.

[Ms. Pat]

I went through a fucking four year.

[Jeff Lewis]

Audit because they said, wait a minute, on the show it says that you made 250. But on your tax returns it says that you netted 45. And they went through every fucking property I owned and sold.

[Ms. Pat]

See, I told y' all them TV shows be lying.

[Jeff Lewis]

Ye.

[Ms. Pat]

See, if I was on there, I would have been like, Jeff made 10,000 under.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes, Jeff lost money.

[Ms. Pat]

Jeff lost money. He sure did.

[Zach Noe Towers]

We're doing a GoFundMe to help Jeff recoup his car.

[Jeff Lewis]

And here's another one. You lost again.

[Ms. Pat]

Yes. You keep losing.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. Can you believe they screwed me so I'm not gonna do that to you, Ms. Pat.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, you. Jeff, I would be fighting your ass on camera. I know what the IRS is. You know, for years I've got unearned income because credit. You probably have no idea what that is, do you?

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, I'm sorry, what?

[Zach Noe Towers]

Unearned income credit.

[Ms. Pat]

I'm glad you said it for me.

[Jeff Lewis]

White man, unearned income credit.

[Ms. Pat]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, please explain.

[Ms. Pat]

So that's when you pay your taxes and then I file my taxes and I don't make as much as you and I get a big return, thank God, because you made a lot of money and you helped make it possible. You know, it's what the white people be complaining about. Oh, you're taking my money? You're taking my money? Of course I'm taking your money. Straight to the ground.

[Jeff Lewis]

Grocery store. Do you go to the grocery store on your own now? Yes, still.

[Ms. Pat]

I use coupons, Jeff. I'm human. I don't want this fancy life people think I have. I go to, I don't go to Walmart because people won't leave me alone in Walmart. I go to Sam.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's your demo.

[Ms. Pat]

Yes, I go to Sam and I pull up and they put the stuff in my car. Oh, I, Yes, I go to Sam's, I go to Costco, but I don't, you know, I don't shop at Target and I don't go to Walmart. I love Costco, cuz if I go to Walmart, everybody want to picture.

[Jeff Lewis]

Plus you keep it real. You do your own grocery shop.

[Ms. Pat]

And I love TJ Maxx, I love home goods. I shop for myself. I'm, I, I got crazy coupon on my thing. I order all the time. Y' all got to get the crazy coupon apps. It's always great deal.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Really?

[Ms. Pat]

I got a $299 toast, I mean air fryer yesterday for 1999.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, wait, where?

[Zach Noe Towers]

Anyway, they mail it to you.

[Ms. Pat]

They mail it to you. Crazy coupon coupon. Yes, I bought two.

[Jeff Lewis]

Shane, write that down.

[Ms. Pat]

I'm getting crazy coupon.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Jeff doesn't Even know what a coupon is.

[Ms. Pat]

So I. I mean, I shop for my. Myself. I do. I do everything for myself. I don't. I don't like I have an assistant, but I don't like to be. You know, because this crap might go away one day.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

Then I can't do nothing no more.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm exactly the same way. I do it every single day.

[Ms. Pat]

She could get hit by a car. I got to be able to take care of myself same. So.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Yeah.

[Ms. Pat]

But when we get our age to.

[Jeff Lewis]

Determine that was a lie for Jeff. He doesn't do anything.

[Zach Noe Towers]

He doesn't do anything himself.

[Ms. Pat]

He don't look like you do. But, Jeff, when you come to my house, you're gonna be self sufficient. Oh, yeah. I'm not waiting on you, Jeff.

[Zach Noe Towers]

That's a threat.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't expect you to do that. I can totally serve myself, clean my own dishes, put in the dishwasher, make my own bed. Don't worry.

[Ms. Pat]

Okay, good.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Zach Noe Towers]

I need this to happen.

[Ms. Pat]

What is the dad name from Family Matters? Not Family Matters. Jasmine, if you hear me, what's his name? Who passed away? Who came to my house? What is the dad name on the show?

[Jeff Lewis]

Who are we talking to?

[Ms. Pat]

My assistant in the green room. My assistant in the green room.

[Jeff Lewis]

Where is she?

[Ms. Pat]

You know the dad. I'm about to tell a story about him.

[Jeff Lewis]

Jasmine's on the phone. She's not paying attention.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Was it Fresh Prince matters or the.

[Ms. Pat]

One who just died a couple years ago? Was it Fresh Prince? Ain't nobody on no Fresh Prince died. Oh, I'm talking about the white daddy with the two twin sisters.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Bob Saget.

[Ms. Pat]

Bob Saget. Did I tell y' all when Bob came to my house? I'm sorry, I forget you Bob Saget. That reminds me of him eating at the black house. Bob Saget came to my house. I don't know if I told y' all this story.

[Jeff Lewis]

No.

[Ms. Pat]

So he came to my. I did his podcast, and he said, you know what? I love you so much. He said, I want to come to your house. And I was like, Bob said, come to my house? I was like, you bullshit. So make a long story short, he was playing in Indianapolis, and we set it up, and I told my family, I said, somebody really famous is going to come to the house. But I didn't want to say his name in case he didn't show up because I know famous people. So I told my son, I said, you got a barbecue, you got to cook. They was like, who coming? And it was like, they was just all excited, but they didn't know who was coming. Bob Saget get out of a Uber and knock on my door with flowers and wine and say. And we opened the door, everybody was like, bob Sag. Let me tell you about Bob Saget. We was friends forever. Let me tell you. So he comes in my house and, you know, we blank and he, he washes his hand. So y' all wash your hand. And I fix him a plate because I wanted to wait on him, baby. Bob's like, oh, this food's so good. Oh, this food so good. Oh, he just jumped up and went and fixed his plate two times. And so I'm sitting, I said, well, how much is he gonna eat? He can't keep going back for a second. He ain't ask nobody. He's just gonna walk his ass in my kitchen and fix his food. I don't know him.

[Jeff Lewis]

Was that you at. At Frank's house?

[Zach Noe Towers]

Truly, his family is like, wow, that kid could really eat.

[Ms. Pat]

He. He just kept eating and kept eating. And he was, oh, his Pat is so good. And his, his picture actually popped up when he was at my house a couple years ago. It's pop up every year around that time. But it was so crazy, cuz my husband was like, bob Saget, how the hell did you get Bob saggy? And I looked at my husband, I said, I know people.

[Jeff Lewis]

Also want to promote Ms. Pat's court show. Ms. Pat settles it. Third season, streaming now on the BET Network. And I'm assuming you can see one and two before you start.

[Ms. Pat]

It's on BET. You sure can.

[Jeff Lewis]

I do have a question though. Is the bailiff that you hired the funny guy? Has he been there the whole three seasons?

[Ms. Pat]

No, he's new.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. So he's kind of elevated the show is my guess.

[Ms. Pat]

He has, he really has. He's funny. I mean, I have bloopers that I'm gonna put out about him. It's just he is so naturally funny.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, I noticed that you have friends on the show that you will deliberate like a jury. You'll deliberate with them. I would love to be a guest on season four.

[Ms. Pat]

Don't play with me, Jeff.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm very serious with you.

[Ms. Pat]

I'm serious.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you shoot in Atlanta?

[Ms. Pat]

We do shoot in Atlanta.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, then I can come to the house for dinner.

[Ms. Pat]

Put them in the jury box. Come on. I'm not playing with you, Jeff.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm not playing either. I really want to do it.

[Ms. Pat]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think it'd be fun.

[Ms. Pat]

It will. It will be And I'm gonna make sure we have a case where somebody messed up somebody house. Cuz you an expert and we have that all the time contract.

[Jeff Lewis]

When are you going to shoot four? I can consult on the master too. The primary bedroom.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, oh.

[Jeff Lewis]

Am I only doing yours or am I doing your husband's 10?

[Ms. Pat]

You're just doing my husband.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, your husband's K5.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah. You do my husband bedroom. Mine is already kind of done. He was just big and I don't feel like doing it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Zacky. Yeah. Halloween Forever Cemetery. It looked like every single person had your costume.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Yeah, Everyone winners. Drew Barrymore from the opening scene.

[Jeff Lewis]

So it turned out to be lazy and unoriginal.

[Zach Noe Towers]

Totally. Which is my vibe.

[Ms. Pat]

I went as Coretta Deville.

[Jeff Lewis]

I saw your costume. It was insane.

[Ms. Pat]

Yeah. That's a party that I throw for my fan once a year. Come Ms. Pat Fan Celebration. I invite my fans to Atlanta from everywhere. They come from Canada, Canada, London, everywhere. And we just have a party and it's all for them.

[Jeff Lewis]

What is your Instagram?

[Ms. Pat]

My Instagram is comedian Ms. Pat.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, check it out. Did you post. You post pictures on Instagram? It was a great costume.

[Ms. Pat]

Yes, Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

I was thinking that must have set you back.

[Ms. Pat]

No, it was a little lady in. In the west end of Atlanta. I paid 400 bucks and she made it from scratch.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's it.

[Ms. Pat]

Oh, Jeff. I get down, baby. I don't pay. I don't play. I don't pay. Pay famous people price. Who? I'm not paying that.

[Jeff Lewis]

I gotta stick around. I got. I gotta hang out. I'm just getting ripped off left and.

[Ms. Pat]

Right because you say yes too quick.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're right.

[Ms. Pat]

In life, I'mma teach you how to say no.

[Jeff Lewis]

Thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Jeff Lewis Lad every weekday on SiriusXM as well as the Jeff Lewis Channel, exclusively on the SiriusXM app.