Sarah Colonna & Jamie Kennedy: Giant Hole & Memorial Concert

Summary

Podcast Summary: Jeff Lewis Has Issues – "Sarah Colonna & Jamie Kennedy: Giant Hole & Memorial Concert"
Date: May 8, 2026
Host: Jeff Lewis
Guests: Sarah Colonna, Jamie Kennedy
Producer: SiriusXM

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Episode Overview

This episode features comedian Sarah Colonna and comic/actor Jamie Kennedy joining Jeff Lewis for a trademark freewheeling, no-filter conversation. The main themes include Jamie’s ongoing homeowner disasters—especially a recently discovered giant hole/well in his backyard—updates on pet rescues and adoption, a “memorial” Randy Travis concert Sarah attended, and plenty of classic Jeff Lewis banter on life’s ridiculousness.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Cat Adoption Saga & Pet Updates ([01:17]–[06:09])

• Sarah shares that her foster cat, Cat Benatar, has been adopted by a family in Riverside, which sparks both joy and bittersweet feelings.

  • Sarah: “I cried all the way home.” ([02:10])
  • Jeff jokes about how many cats Sarah has (“So you're down to 30, 32?” [02:15])

• Jamie is teased about his suitability for adopting a cat due to his “history” with pets:

  • Jamie admits he’s given cats away in the past when his acting schedule got too busy, which the group finds suspect.
  • Sarah: “Well, fuck you. You can’t have any of our cats.” ([04:58])
  • Jeff: “No, no, no, no. We’re not giving him a cat.” ([05:57])

• Running gag about putting Jamie on a “cat offender registry.” ([06:10])

2. Jamie’s House Nightmares: Canceled Insurance & The Mysterious Well ([07:37]–[36:15])

• Jamie’s homeowner misfortunes:

  • Lost his home insurance due to a payment/communication mix-up (“Notice that your insurance has been canceled.” [09:36])
  • Attempts to resolve by calling the agent, but faces more bureaucracy and the prospect of major out-of-pocket costs.
  • Jeff explains the confusion between insurance, escrow, and impound accounts in homeownership ([11:48]).

• The “Giant Hole” Discovery:

  • Jamie describes how his assistant finds a 4x4-foot, 30-foot-deep shaft under his backyard’s decorative pavers.
  • Jamie: “We start looking and it’s just a hole, like 4 by 4 [feet]... this hole is like 30ft deep.” ([16:53])
  • Panic escalates as they investigate, first fearing a sinkhole, then learning (with the help of AI “Claude”) it’s an old well, possibly from pre-development farmland ([17:21]).
  • The group riff on heinous/funny theories (tunnels, twink trafficking, underground cities).

• Real-life implications and jokes:

  • Jeff: “Someone should have disclosed that well. Yeah, because it’s not been properly sealed.” ([20:46])
  • They speculate about the cost and legal responsibility of proper well-sealing, and how it might mean lawsuits and unending paperwork for Jamie ([21:12]).

• Memorable Running Joke: “Twink Tunnel” and “well full of twinks,” plus suggestions to lower people or GoPros into the hole ([22:18]–[23:03]).

  • Sarah: “Put on a little GoPro, take a hike down there, see what’s going on.” ([21:35])

• Listeners call in to give advice or share horror stories (murder wells, forgotten farm wells).

  • Caller Chloe warns: “Jamie, I think you might have a murder well... Maybe yours is the well.” ([26:23])
  • Caller Angelle (calls in with well expertise): advises Jamie to call the health department and a professional well contractor, suggesting it may cost $1,500–$5,000 to seal ([35:00]–[36:09]).

3. Neighborhood Woes: "Shit Swatting" ([37:01]–[40:34])

• Jamie rants about people sneaking their dog poop bags into his trash cans soon after pickup—a scenario Jeff confirms is universal for anyone with street cans in L.A.
  • Jamie: “If you got a dog, let him shit in your property. Take it. I have enough problems.” ([38:09])
  • Running joke: solution is to leave a trap so people fall into the well with their dog poop ([40:13]).

4. Memorial Concert: Sarah's Surreal Experience ([40:34]–[44:36])

• Sarah describes going to a Randy Travis concert—only to discover it’s basically a memorial:
  • Randy Travis, who lost his voice after a stroke, sits silently on stage as another singer, James Dupre, performs his hits, interspersed with wife-led storytelling and old music videos.
  • Sarah: “It was like a funeral, but with the person there.” ([42:18])
  • Jeff: “Collecting everybody’s money.” ([42:40])
  • Sarah’s friend: “I’ve always wanted to see James Dupree.” ([42:21])

5. Soccer Teams & Cherry Bombs ([44:45]–[47:58])

• Sarah’s husband John invests in the "Portland Cherry Bombs," a women’s pre-professional soccer team; discussion devolves into innuendo about sports teams, mascots, and player photos.
  • Jeff: “He probably spends a lot of time in that locker room.” ([46:13])
  • Jamie: “Are you saying he’s trying to get to the pit?” ([46:10])

6. Dinner with Doug, Stress Tests, and Miscellaneous Absurdities ([47:59]–[50:55])

• The group pokes fun at a misunderstanding about what a cardiac stress test entails (spoiler: it does not involve doctors tackling you from behind).
  • Sarah: “That’s not something that happens in a normal...your doctor.”
  • Jamie: “He’s confusing his visits to the men’s steam room, exactly.” ([50:01])

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Notable Quotes & Classic Moments

• Jeff on Pet Ownership:
  “No, no, no, no. We’re not giving him a cat.” ([05:57])

• Jamie on Home Insurance Hell:
  “I literally text her yesterday and she literally wrote, still looking. So apparently what happens… your insurance lapse because you don’t get emails because of spam….” ([10:07])

• Jamie on the Well:
  “This hole is like 30ft deep, a 4x4, and my sprinter van is parked on top of it. And I go, bro, is this a fucking sinkhole right now?” ([16:54])

• Sarah on the Memorial Concert:
  “It was like a funeral, but with the person there.” ([42:18])

• Jamie on Dog Poop Bandits:
  “If you got a dog, let him shit in your property... I have enough problems. I’m gonna fight with my insurance agent, my real estate agent hates my guts, and I got a 30 foot well.” ([38:09])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:17] – Main episode starts, Sarah talks cat adoptions
• [04:58] – Jamie’s confessions of giving away cats, group protests
• [07:37] – Sarah and Jamie roasted about payment for appearances
• [08:10] – Jamie’s new house insurance woes begin
• [14:32] – Jamie discovers a giant, mysterious hole in his yard
• [16:53] – Realization: it’s a 30ft deep, 4x4ft well
• [20:46] – Legal/real estate implications of undisclosed well
• [22:18] – Twink tunnel jokes and “lowering” people/cameras into the well
• [26:23] – Listener suggests Jamie may have a “murder well”
• [35:00] – Well-filling advice and estimates from expert caller
• [37:01] – Rant about “shit swatting” (neighbors’ dog poop in trash cans)
• [40:35] – Sarah’s “memorial concert” for Randy Travis
• [44:45] – “Cherry Bomb” soccer team/locker room banter
• [47:59] – Dinner with Doug & cardiac stress test misunderstanding

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Tone and Atmosphere

• Breezy, irreverent, and highly self-deprecating
• Frequent playful arguments, creative insults, callbacks to show lore (“cat offender registry”)
• Smart rapport between Jeff, Sarah, and Jamie; listener calls fuel tangents and on-the-fly jokes
• Absurd real-life stories always brought back to real homeowner and adult woes

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Episode Value

This episode is a classic illustration of “Jeff Lewis Has Issues”—wildly funny tales of everyday disasters, playful celebrity self-awareness, and a window into the chaotic, weird, and sometimes poignant side of grown-up life in L.A. If you like improv banter, real estate headaches, and gallows humor, this is quintessential Jeff Lewis.

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Listen If You Want

• Real estate horror stories (and how not to handle them)
• Darkly comic takes on neighborhood drama
• A hilarious crash course in “what can go wrong” for homeowners in L.A.
• Pop culture, weird concerts, and more

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End of summary

Transcript

[Jamie Kennedy]

Then, Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.

[Caller Angel]

Hey, everyone.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Check out this guy and his bird.

[Sarah Colonna]

What is this, your first date?

[Jamie Kennedy]

Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Anyways, get a [e-mail] or with your local agent.

[Jeff Lewis]

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[Sarah Colonna]

When you're Jeff Lewis, the drama never stops.

[Jeff Lewis]

They said that I am by far the most difficult talent that they're working with. You know, we could say we don't judge. I judge, and I was judging.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Money doesn't make you an asshole.

[Jeff Lewis]

But if you're an asshole and with a ton of money, you're gonna be a bigger asshole. Why are you looking at me? No, I didn't. I didn't mean to.

[Jamie Kennedy]

I didn't mean to look in that direction.

[Jeff Lewis]

Why did you look right at me?

[Sarah Colonna]

Jeff Lewis has issues.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hey, welcome to Jeff Lewis has Issues. In today's episode, Sarah Colonna and Jamie Kennedy joined the show. We talk about Jamie's canceled insurance and the giant hole in his backyard. Plus, Sarah attends a memorial concert. Welcome back. I was so happy to hear that. And maybe this came from Felice Navi Paz, but Kat Benatar has been adopted.

[Caller Angel]

Yes.

[Sarah Colonna]

I was hoping that she'd get those noises. Yes. She got adopted by a chump.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Oh, so nice. Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

How amazing is that, Jamie?

[Jamie Kennedy]

Yeah, it's amazing. Who adopted her?

[Sarah Colonna]

A chump named Jen. She lives in Riverside. I drove.

[Jeff Lewis]

Does she have a job?

[Sarah Colonna]

She does. She. She has a job.

[Jeff Lewis]

She a big drinker?

[Sarah Colonna]

Probably. She lives in Riverside. I dropped Dolly off to Kat Benatard. Slash, Dolly off to her yesterday. I cried all the way home.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did you?

[Sarah Colonna]

I did, because I really liked her. But it's. You know, it's. We can't keep all the cats.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you're down to 30, 32. You have three cats now?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, I've always had three. And then plus a foster.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'M really happy to hear that.

[Sarah Colonna]

I know. She's so sweet. And I went to the home. I got to see the apartment she's living in. She has another cat, and they're gonna love each other. And Jen is so sweet, and she has a son that loves cats, so I think it's gonna be great.

[Jeff Lewis]

She texted me this morning, and cat Benatar's doing okay.

[Sarah Colonna]

Cat Benatar used the litter box. An 8. You know, all the things that you expect. Isn't this great?

[Jeff Lewis]

And where are we with. With Feliz Navi Paz?

[Sarah Colonna]

Blowing up. Blowing up.

[Jeff Lewis]

How many followers do we have now?

[Sarah Colonna]

I don't know, like, 3500. That's my cat's Instagram.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Your cat has a gram?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. 3,500. Yeah.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Wow. That's insane.

[Jeff Lewis]

Every time you come on, it's like another thousand followers.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, because you talk about it.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Are these.

[Jeff Lewis]

Because I love kitties.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Are these rescues?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

You know, who needs a cat?

[Sarah Colonna]

Who?

[Jeff Lewis]

Jamie Kennedy.

[Jamie Kennedy]

That would be cute.

[Sarah Colonna]

You could name it MJ and it

[Jamie Kennedy]

would be like, yes.

[Sarah Colonna]

And it would be like, you love mj.

[Jeff Lewis]

You could scream at it.

[Caller Angel]

No,

[Jamie Kennedy]

Use the litter box, cat. You can feed it spaghetti at 1:00am oh, my gosh.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yes.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Sarah, how. What are you doing?

[Sarah Colonna]

I met it in a nice way.

[Jeff Lewis]

His house is so huge, though. You have to get two kitties.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yes. Okay. You got the room and one J.

[Jeff Lewis]

You've got the room.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Jamie, look. Oh, my room for cats.

[Jeff Lewis]

You gotta do it.

[Sarah Colonna]

There's so many in my.

[Jamie Kennedy]

I would like. You know, I was telling Keon yesterday that I had a cat years ago when I got my first house called, and his name was Dirt. Oh, and it was my. He looked like Dirt. And he was my. My busiest years as an actor. And I went away for, like, six months.

[Jeff Lewis]

We call you Dirt, too.

[Jamie Kennedy]

See? Come on, man. I showered today, so. And I had all of these. I had this house. It was crazy. And the decorator got me a couch. And I want to say it's this. You'll tell me this. Jeff, did Calvin Klein or Ralph Lauren ever make a couch? Yeah, I had one of those, if you can believe it.

[Jeff Lewis]

So it was real cheap.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Really?

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm kidding.

[Jamie Kennedy]

It was expensive. I went away, I came back, and the couch was completely ruined.

[Sarah Colonna]

Did you leave her? Did you leave her?

[Jamie Kennedy]

Well, no, I said. The person. I said, what happened to my couch? They go, yeah, Dirt was mad that you left. And so what they do is they scratch it. They crap everywhere.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, they don't.

[Jamie Kennedy]

You get what so What I did, I gave dirt away. I gave dirt away.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, well, fuck you. You can't have any of our cats.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Why? I gave it to a great home, a very successful person. Then I had two other cats. My other ex girlfriend, Malibu and B. Rat. And then I went away again and they did the same thing.

[Sarah Colonna]

My other cat, Scratching pad.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did you give them away again?

[Jamie Kennedy]

I gave them away.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, do you leave?

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, never mind.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Why? I love cats. They go to great homes.

[Jeff Lewis]

You get really attached.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, but do you leave them by themselves?

[Jamie Kennedy]

Talk about that. You drop chumps like lumps.

[Jeff Lewis]

But I love cats.

[Jamie Kennedy]

The cats have been around.

[Jeff Lewis]

I love cats more than chumps.

[Sarah Colonna]

We go out of town all the time. We have a cats.

[Jamie Kennedy]

I love cats. I would like to get a cat. We'll talk about.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, don't give him a cat. I want him.

[Jamie Kennedy]

He does not deserve Feliz Navi Paz.

[Sarah Colonna]

If Annie had fur, she'd still be here today.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Oh my God. That's funny. Oh my God. No, I could do cats. I'm just saying it's sweet that I do that because I give them to homes.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, you leave them alone until they go crazy and then you give them off to someone else. That's not.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. No, no, no. You're not a long term owner. No, no, no, no. We're not giving him a cat.

[Sarah Colonna]

No.

[Jamie Kennedy]

I'll get a cat then. No, no, I'm going to get a cat. Just to prove I'm going to put you on a.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're going to end up with the cat at Feliz Navi Paz.

[Jamie Kennedy]

No. Do you know I'm going to put

[Sarah Colonna]

you on a cat offender registry.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Yeah, the Whiskers, that place. I go there.

[Jeff Lewis]

Please don't get a cat. Cafe Jamie.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Yeah, I won't get a cat.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. And you travel too much. Dirt's going to get pissed.

[Jamie Kennedy]

You'll go to a con and you'll

[Sarah Colonna]

find your house torn up.

[Jeff Lewis]

But don' Sitter now trying to. So at least dirt will never be alone.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Dirt would never be alone.

[Sarah Colonna]

You always have a house sitter.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, they got 16 squatters there to take care of the cat.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's true. They love squatters. Love cat.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, what's the latest with the house, cuz? Jamie told me a few things this weekend and it is just. First of all, we got to preface it by you love the house. I love.

[Jamie Kennedy]

First of all, I just want to say. Sarah, what are you doing here? Don't you know that I'm the resident meanie to females?

[Jeff Lewis]

Sarah's the only one. And I had to pay her a lot of money to be here.

[Sarah Colonna]

I'm getting like quadruple to be here today.

[Jamie Kennedy]

I go to Shane. I go, shane, I go. He goes, hey, you want to do blah, blah, blah? And I said, who am I doing it with? And he goes, I was going to ask Sarah. And I said, okay. And then he goes, she said yes. Like it was yes to the dress.

[Jeff Lewis]

But she's like.

[Jamie Kennedy]

She said yes, we found someone.

[Jeff Lewis]

She said, I want $2,000. And she made me wire it. Before the appear.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yes, yes, before the appearance. And he had to pay for my gas to go to Riverside yesterday. I'll be honest. Usually Shane doesn't say who I'm on with, but he wrote, will you do radio with Jamie Kennedy?

[Jamie Kennedy]

Wow. He's.

[Sarah Colonna]

Normally he doesn't say the name. I just say yes. But he knew I had. He had to throw that by me.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Are you okay? And she said, yes.

[Sarah Colonna]

So far.

[Jeff Lewis]

So far. This is his comeback tour.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

You've done a pretty good job with your comeback tour.

[Sarah Colonna]

I mean, I'm not impressed with your cat situation. No, no.

[Jamie Kennedy]

You're kidding me.

[Jeff Lewis]

That didn't help.

[Jamie Kennedy]

I love cats.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Jamie Kennedy]

I was telling you how cats ruin shit if you're not there for them. But Michael was. We were besties right there, so I guess everything's fine. He was hugging me and I, you know, I want my redemption arc. Anyway, there's a lot going on with the house. I love the house, but I'm having new issues.

[Sarah Colonna]

What are the new issues?

[Jamie Kennedy]

Well, the issues are this is that after I got rid of my friends, I. Now I get it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, explain what happened because I don't know if everyone understands when you buy a home, are you going to talk about the insurance?

[Jamie Kennedy]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Well, yeah, so I'm going to talk about this. Basically what happened is I have. You have to get insurance when you have a house. You know, this. And. And what happened?

[Sarah Colonna]

Good idea.

[Jamie Kennedy]

In escrow, basically through Covid, my accountant retired. I, you know, a lot of people that did stuff for me are not in the business anymore.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, because you gave them away.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Yeah. So I'm handling a lot of my own stuff, and I'm going to get more help. And so long story is that I got everything squared away. And they. The guy who does the escrow says, you know, let me get you some insurance. So it gets me insurance. And I guess I never saw the bill. And they said, you're going to lose your insurance. And he said, hey, man, you got to pay this insurance. You got a hold of me. So I end up sending him like the year's worth of insurance, like $10,000 or something. And he's like, okay, you're not canceling. Your insurance is fine. So then everything's going. And I guess I've been like. I was saying out there, I was on the road and doing stuff, and I guess they're trying to get a hold of me and they're like, we need to send an inspector. And then I guess a couple more emails. We need to send inspector. And then I guess a couple.

[Sarah Colonna]

Do you not get emails when you're

[Jamie Kennedy]

on the road and inspector.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, didn't they try to call you also?

[Jamie Kennedy]

5G. I don't. I didn't recognize the number. And then I saw something and was like, all this mail stuck with all these other squatters mails. And it said, final notice. And then I call and I'm like, what is this? And it says, notice that your insurance has been canceled. No. So I have insurance. And I'm like, they have the $10,000. They have the money from my compound account.

[Jeff Lewis]

Impound.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Impound account. And they said, you have no insurance. So I get a hold of this woman, I find her cell and I call her and she's in Westlake. And she literally like, hello, I'm so sorry, I'm at a Jamba Juice. Hi, it's Kathleen. And I'm like, kathleen, mine's Jamie Cannon. And she goes, oh, my God, I've been looking for you. You have no insurance, honey. And I said, what? It's. And she's like, it's Friday. I left early. It's, you know, Margarita Friday. Like, I'm literally dealing with this woman from the 80s and like an office in Westlake in an office park. And I'm like, well, can you help me? She's like, well, it's. It's out now. You have no insurance. Is like, and I gotta go find a new quote and all this, whatever that happens. So I'm texting with her and she goes, just want to let you know you're not my only high profile client. And I said, thank you for calling me high profile. And she basically was just. I literally text her yesterday and she literally wrote, still looking. So apparently what happens, Sarah, is your insurance lapse because you don't get emails because of spam and you get in a fight and I might have to pay two or three times, so hopefully I will not. She's really cool.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, they better give you your ten grand. Back.

[Jamie Kennedy]

First of all, that's, that's just being sitting there.

[Jeff Lewis]

That refund has to happen.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Well, that's not gonna happen because there's gonna be fines, I guess.

[Sarah Colonna]

But why was it canceled if you were paid?

[Jamie Kennedy]

Because it's. Here's what happens, Jameson. This is the hustle of the game. You pay a year's worth and that's there. They don't touch that. Then you pay every month. And that's like this insured security deposit. And they have that. They're saying they didn't have an inspector. Although MJ got me a crazy good inspector inspector. And I think they did a double inspection.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, no. What happens?

[Sarah Colonna]

That was the last piece of the

[Jamie Kennedy]

puzzle that didn't get completed.

[Jeff Lewis]

A lot of times when people are closing escrow, right, they get, they quickly will get insurance, fire insurance, but it's subject to a property inspection. It is separate from when you buy

[Jamie Kennedy]

the property from a 7 year old property that's made out of cement. They really need that fire inspection.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'll tell you why. This is what's normally happened. So the insurance company, and you'll, you've closed and moved in. And then they'll, they'll reach out and say, hey, we got to send out our inspector. And a lot of times they'll tell me like, cut, you know, the tree branches that are hanging over the roof, cut that back. They'll just give you a few notes to do. It's not a big deal.

[Sarah Colonna]

The final approval is pending on the inspector, Correct? Correct.

[Jeff Lewis]

So. But the problem is to take your money before that. Well, the problem is that. So Jamie pays for the year up front, right? So that's 10 grand. But then they're also impounding for next year. So they're taking like, I don't know, 800amonth, 800amonth towards the next policy. But that goes to the lender. The lender has that money. The insurance company does not have that money. Okay, but you still got to get the 10 grand back that you paid.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Yeah, I.

[Jeff Lewis]

And now more than likely you're going to have to put out another 10 grand to get insurance. And then you're going to have to chase the old company to get your money back. Good luck.

[Sarah Colonna]

Have you considered moving back into an apartment?

[Jamie Kennedy]

I mean, it was simpler, but. That's nothing, Sarah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay?

[Jamie Kennedy]

That's nothing.

[Sarah Colonna]

What else?

[Jamie Kennedy]

There's new stuff. I don't know. Do I share this? It could affect my policy. Do I do it? What policy?

[Sarah Colonna]

You don't have yet. Fuck it.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Do it now, why shout out no policy? It's up to you, Jeff.

[Jeff Lewis]

Worst comes to worst, you do California Fair Plan. Which.

[Jamie Kennedy]

What's that? Is that like medi Cal for your teeth?

[Jeff Lewis]

It's. Yeah, it's like they have to provide that. They have to provide that insurance. The state of California and all that.

[Sarah Colonna]

By the way, that's the one for. Yeah, for fire protection.

[Jeff Lewis]

So that's what the people in Malibu get. They get. The California Fair Plan doesn't necessarily cover everything. So then they have to get, like, private policies on top of it. But you can get California Fairplan. It just takes a couple of weeks. I'm sorry. We don't mean to stress you out.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Should I share the other thing?

[Jeff Lewis]

I think you have to.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Okay, then you're gonna help me with his policies. Okay, Sarah, So that's nothing. So, you know, I had, like, roommates that I didn't ask for. Yeah. And, you know, then I had a fight with mj, right? And lots of things were going. Then my cat ran away. So I have a guy helping me out. He's doing a lot of stuff, and basically, you know, he's a guy that. He's always got his hands and things. He sees stuff. So he's walking out to take the garbage, and he went down to coffee shop, and he came back. He brings me coffee. And he goes.

[Sarah Colonna]

He's like an assistant.

[Jeff Lewis]

But first. So what, he's got these concrete squares with lawn in between?

[Jamie Kennedy]

Yeah, well, like.

[Jeff Lewis]

Right. One of them was a little loose.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Well, let me. Let me. I was gonna get to this.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, fine.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Sorry. So he. He's walking in and he goes, hey, I gotta talk to you about something. I don't want to start your day out before you have a sip, but I got to talk to you about something. And I said, what? He goes, follow me. So do you know, like, in your house how beautiful it is and, like, how you have these big concrete squares and then they put AstroTurf in between it to make it look like a cute lawn?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yes.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Okay. So he's walking, and he says, hey, you see that turf? And he said, yeah. And he says, lift it up the concrete square. So the turf in between the square. Am I painting the picture for you?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Big squares in the turf is all around them to make it look like this design. I'm there, I lift it up. He goes. He goes, stick your hand in there. Oh, there's a hole. He says, there's a hole. And I said, okay. So I put my hand in there, and he goes, what do you feel?

[Sarah Colonna]

What the. This is getting weird.

[Jamie Kennedy]

And I said, air. And he goes, okay, stick your arm in there.

[Sarah Colonna]

What the fuck? Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, just wait.

[Jamie Kennedy]

And he goes, what do you feel? And I go, air. And he goes, grab that broom. So I grab the broom and I jam it down there. And he goes, what do you feel? I go, not bottom. And he goes, grab this rock. And we fucking throw a rock down there. I'm getting goosebumps. And finally later, it goes. And I go, bro, what the fuck? And I go, sinkhole. I go, is that a sinkhole? He goes, I don't know. So we pull back this shit.

[Jeff Lewis]

So they take the big concrete piece

[Sarah Colonna]

and you can just pick it up.

[Jeff Lewis]

How big is this hole?

[Sarah Colonna]

It's.

[Jamie Kennedy]

We looking in. Jeff, you're so premature. Let me get you building up to it, okay? Sorry, but we only have an hour. This hole, this. We start looking and it's just a whole, like 4 by 4ft. 4 by 4? 4 by 4. And I look in and I jump back. We're using.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, don't jump forward.

[Jamie Kennedy]

We're using the cell phone light. It's not powerful enough. Then we get to super light and we go in. I'm freaking out. This hole is like 30ft deep, a 4x4, and my sprinter man is parked on top of it. And I go, bro, is this a fucking sinkhole right now? Is this the sinkhole? My whole street's gonna go in. I started freaking out because I'm thinking about that Philippines video where the whole building went.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, yeah.

[Jamie Kennedy]

So he runs upstairs, he grabs Claude, he takes pictures of it, puts it in Claude. Claude's the nude. Claude's the AI Another cat. Claude's an AI. Another cat. And Claude breaks it down. What it is. Thank God we found the good light and we discovered it's a well. And this a fucking well. That is four by four. And it's got beautiful brick and it's completely circular. Brought up old pictures from Claude of 1920s area.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's a tunnel.

[Jamie Kennedy]

It kind of is. I'm starting to think it's a tunnel. It could be an underground seat.

[Sarah Colonna]

It's a baby.

[Jamie Kennedy]

There's a baby. It's like traffic.

[Jeff Lewis]

Baby Jessica Twink trafficking.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Oh, my God.

[Jeff Lewis]

It goes right to Doug's house.

[Sarah Colonna]

What if it stops at high tops

[Jamie Kennedy]

on the way and ends at the shadow?

[Jeff Lewis]

Wow. Twinks are down there.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Oh, my. Lock the door, my friend. This is what's so crazy, Sarah. I'm freaking out. I get so relieved that it's not a Sinkhole.

[Sarah Colonna]

I don't know that I'd feel any more relieved.

[Jamie Kennedy]

I tell Jeff this on Sunday, and what does he do instead of, like, going insurance, call the, you know, the city and all this stuff. He's just going, you have to talk about this on Wednesday. I mean, and he's laughing.

[Sarah Colonna]

No.

[Jeff Lewis]

So I was laughing so hard.

[Jamie Kennedy]

So all the shit he's done, Sarah. I go, have you ever. He goes, I've never had a well.

[Jeff Lewis]

Never had a well? No.

[Sarah Colonna]

And so they purposely covered it with

[Jamie Kennedy]

this big piece of concrete.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes, they did.

[Jamie Kennedy]

So somebody.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's where the squatters came from.

[Jeff Lewis]

The Twink Tunnel.

[Sarah Colonna]

And the Twink Tunnel, they're squatter Twinkers, first of all.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Could be an underground city. I thought it was a portal to hell, it's so deep.

[Sarah Colonna]

And by the way, for sure it's a well from Claw.

[Jamie Kennedy]

I want to bring Channel 5 over. I want to do a whole thing, and I want Jameson and Doug to be there.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, my God. Well, if you want to get Channel five, you got to get Patrick and Paul involved. Yeah, no, I want to be able to help you.

[Jamie Kennedy]

I want to, but it's because, Sarah, what happens is. And I don't see any debris from wood rotting. I think someone covered it. They put four feet of dirt on it, and then it rotted away. I don't know. Bound wells in Los Angeles must be secured, reported to Los Angeles County Department of Public Health, and properly sealed by a licensed contractor to avoid fines. So how much is that well, then?

[Sarah Colonna]

This is the pre.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Pre ownership now.

[Jeff Lewis]

We just outed you. Now you have to call.

[Jamie Kennedy]

I know you're getting help.

[Jeff Lewis]

I thought we just put the concrete

[Jamie Kennedy]

back and you're going to help.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, that lady's at Jamba Juice right now just sweating her ass off.

[Jamie Kennedy]

She can't believe.

[Sarah Colonna]

So much to do today.

[Jamie Kennedy]

I got a call. I thought it was her, but it wasn't an 818. This would have been, at some point, a collection of water for people to use. Jameson, what you don't realize is this

[Sarah Colonna]

Thirsty Twink

[Jamie Kennedy]

Farmer's Market, Fairfax, all of that was nothing but fields. I looked up all these pictures. So there's wells everywhere. You may have a well. Okay? And you're in the 818. You may have a well.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you may have a well. You may have a well.

[Jamie Kennedy]

You get a well. You get a well. And so then I get like this, and I go to Jeff, I go, so is this MJ's fault, Jeff? Jeff goes, no, MJ did not know there Was a well there. She did not put a well in your driveway. So M.J. jeff had your back. I'm like, M.J. did this. I was blaming her. Kidding.

[Sarah Colonna]

I'm not the owner that owned it before the property. I don't even think they knew his fault.

[Jamie Kennedy]

I mean, you built the house.

[Jeff Lewis]

Someone should have disclosed that well. Yeah, because it's not been properly sealed.

[Jamie Kennedy]

I think I got a million dollar lawsuit coming. Because who didn't know about the well? My friend discovered it with the turf.

[Sarah Colonna]

He lifted it up. How did he discover it?

[Jamie Kennedy]

Because he saw it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did he build the house? No, the seller. Did he build the house?

[Jamie Kennedy]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Who? He's the first owner.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

But he could say a contractor didn't tell him, but I guess he knew.

[Jamie Kennedy]

But now I'm gonna have to go. And what you said on Sunday, you don't remember what you said? You said, oh, my God. You're gonna have to get a concrete truck. And so I'm gonna have to get one of those big trucks. I just want to put a bunch of dirt in there.

[Jeff Lewis]

We don't know how far it goes. Does it go left? Does it go right? Like, once you get down to the bottom. Did you just keep pouring and pouring and pouring for weeks?

[Jamie Kennedy]

But whose responsibility is this?

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, Jamie Kennedy.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. You got to put on a little GoPro, take it to hike down there, see what's going on.

[Jamie Kennedy]

100%. Yeah. You can go live stream. Go live.

[Sarah Colonna]

That'll be so fun.

[Jamie Kennedy]

What if it. You could turn it into your next podcast studio.

[Jeff Lewis]

Can we wait till season two of flipping?

[Jamie Kennedy]

Still flipping out, Michael. So my everything that I freaked out about. I can get a redemption story because I now I'm the victim.

[Jeff Lewis]

I wonder if we. We need to lower. I mean, put Jameson a twink status anymore. Zach, you somebody light. I want to lower down there to see who's. No. Keon's a little twunk. He's heavy. Oh, Shane, though. How much do you weigh, Shane?

[Jamie Kennedy]

I'm like 152.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yes. Light.

[Jamie Kennedy]

You know what we could put down there? Who? We could put pole. We could lower pole on a pole. Pole on a pole.

[Sarah Colonna]

Stand on your feet.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Everybody pull it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Ooh.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, you could lower them on a rope.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Yeah, that would be so cute. Or, you know, we could put a little basket with little Snow White. Yeah, Snow White. And we'll just lower her down there

[Jeff Lewis]

with a camera and a pole.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Boo Boo. Boo boo.

[Sarah Colonna]

What?

[Caller Angel]

A pole.

[Sarah Colonna]

Boo boo.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Anyway, so I got a basement now.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, you sure do. Yeah, Lower level I mean, look, extra square footage.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Mm.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, what are those things they. What are those things they use to, like, for hydro jetting or whatever? Just the cameras that go underground. Can't they get something like that down there?

[Jamie Kennedy]

For sure? Well, I could. I like your idea, the GoPro. I've actually thought of that. But can we have callers call in who are well experts?

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, that's a good idea.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Am I the victim here? The Venn diagram of chumps who are well experts.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think we just want to fix the problem. Right. We just need to close it.

[Jamie Kennedy]

You go like this, Jeff, you go, well, if it's $10,000, you go, just don't worry about it. Just do it. And then he goes, if it's $300,000, then we'll talk.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, meaning you don't need to go through insurance. If it's 10 grand, you don't want to deal with that.

[Sarah Colonna]

Right.

[Jamie Kennedy]

300 grand, is it 300 grand?

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't know what it is, but I've never dealt with filling wells.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, because it has to be done properly so that if you ever sell it again.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Well, no one else.

[Jeff Lewis]

What if it's a mine? What if there's.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Dude, that's what I was saying. Yeah, that's what I was saying. That's what I was saying.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, my God. There could be so much money down there.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's what I think.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Yeah. And who owns it?

[Sarah Colonna]

Just from twinks losing their loose change on the way to high tops.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

I want to see what's down there. We can't just seal it up.

[Jamie Kennedy]

I agree with you, by the way.

[Sarah Colonna]

This is why I wanted to bring bodies down there.

[Jamie Kennedy]

That's being the crew.

[Sarah Colonna]

Could be like a horror movie. There could be bodies down there.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Oh, you know? I know.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, you're right.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Yeah. At my house.

[Jeff Lewis]

Skeletons.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Oh.

[Sarah Colonna]

Get Michael Beck and we could produce the show about it. According to Gemini, it could be somewhere

[Jeff Lewis]

between 1500 and 5000 for a water,

[Jamie Kennedy]

but for oil or gas, it could

[Sarah Colonna]

be 70 to 100,000. It's water.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Come on, dude.

[Sarah Colonna]

There's no oil.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Come on, dude.

[Sarah Colonna]

There is oil. There is oil in West Hollywood.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, that'd be great.

[Jamie Kennedy]

The Beverly Centaur. Wait, so I would get oil?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. Well, do you? I don't know if you have the oil rights.

[Sarah Colonna]

My God, the gas prices will go down. Thank you. All because of you.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Wait, hold on. If it's my oil, then I'm keeping that oil.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't. I think you have to have the oil rights, which I think is separate than owning the property.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Mj. I can't believe we just told it. Did she just text you? No, but I'm thinking she should have

[Sarah Colonna]

got you the oil, right? Yes, obviously.

[Jeff Lewis]

So anyway, Sarah, she didn't negotiate. That's a lot.

[Jamie Kennedy]

I'm furniture, though.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, that's a. That's not anything that I was expecting to hear today.

[Jeff Lewis]

I do want to know what's down there.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, you gotta find out. It could be.

[Jeff Lewis]

Because if they're just. All you have to do is lift up that piece of concrete and drop shit down there. God knows what is down there.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Well, from the light, I have a pretty powerful light. And it looked like it was just dirt, but I mean, you're right, it could be a whole thing.

[Sarah Colonna]

The cat.

[Jamie Kennedy]

It's the cruising you can't do. You know, I'm in that neighborhood where you can't make a left after 10:30 because of BJ's. So who knows what's down there. Maybe it's a secret hookup.

[Jeff Lewis]

They didn't put those signs up until Patrick and Paul moved in,

[Jamie Kennedy]

by the way. Patrick and Paul. That's so funny. They live around. I love where they live. They really represent. Okay, so let me tell you, we're talking. I love those guys, okay? They're around the corner, they got this big frilly gay. I mean, gay gay guys are going, you're gay? It's so gay. This super sign, sparkly. And it's like Paul's dress shop and all this stuff. And one fucking house away is an alley and then a crazy spray paint building. And then the most gangster hamburger shop that plays hip hop all day. And those guys are right next to it. And I love it so much because they are so different in people.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, I'm gonna take line two, but you're not gonna like it, Chloe. New Jersey for it. Oh, hi, Chloe.

[Caller Angel]

Hi. Oh my gosh.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Hi.

[Caller Angel]

Shout out, Shane.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Shout out. Chloe.

[Jeff Lewis]

What's up? Chloe?

[Caller Angel]

How you doing? Jamie, I think you might have a murder. Well, there was a documentary that I just watched last night. Granted, I had like two glasses of wine while I was watching it, but it's this place that this guy was like a murderer and he was dumping all bodies down the well and then covering it with lye. They couldn't find the well even though they dug up everywhere. Maybe yours is the well.

[Jamie Kennedy]

I gotta call the cops because you could see.

[Jeff Lewis]

You will never sell if they find bodies down there. You will never sell that house. You were there forever.

[Sarah Colonna]

He doesn't want to we're gonna make it.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Make it a museum. Oh, yeah. There's probably a famous serial killer. Not a bad idea to get back

[Jeff Lewis]

on that star tour.

[Jamie Kennedy]

I know.

[Jeff Lewis]

This is it.

[Jamie Kennedy]

This is. Can we just say this is the most chumpiest thing of the chump land? He's back in Scream. Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

What a way to get back. Thank you, Chloe. And I don't believe it was just two glasses of wine.

[Caller Angel]

Wait, it definitely wasn't. But I think we should look at.

[Sarah Colonna]

If you could see dirt, then it could mean I see dirt under the dirt.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, but we don't know. Once you hit the dirt, does it go left? Does it go right?

[Jamie Kennedy]

Like, I don't think there's an opening.

[Jeff Lewis]

Tunnels.

[Jamie Kennedy]

I just want to think it's water. We gotta get, we gotta get, we gotta get. Who do we. Who do we call? I gotta get channel five.

[Jeff Lewis]

How do you not know there's not more?

[Jamie Kennedy]

Dude, I just discovered it. And I called you and you're like, we won't talk about it. And then of course you talk about it.

[Jeff Lewis]

I bet where there's one, it's like cockroaches. Where there's one, there's seven. Yeah, I bet you have you seven wells underneath that.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Probably an underground bottom rave. Right, Jameson?

[Sarah Colonna]

Pass around. Party bottom.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Right, Jamie, meet me in the web.

[Sarah Colonna]

You can easily make money off of that. People want it to be like an influencer house. Because Serial killer.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Yeah, listen, you know me, right? Social experience. You know me. Like I know the rules of screams, you know?

[Sarah Colonna]

Right.

[Jamie Kennedy]

You don't really know that, do you, Sarah?

[Sarah Colonna]

I don't know what you mean.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Well, I'm in the horror world.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, I know that.

[Jamie Kennedy]

So yes, this actually could be a blessing in disguise. Ye. James Shane is on.

[Sarah Colonna]

Do you feel safe just walking around your yard now?

[Jamie Kennedy]

I love my neighbor.

[Sarah Colonna]

Fall in.

[Jamie Kennedy]

No, I love. It's covered.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. June in Canada has a question line three. I said the same thing, June.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's exactly.

[Caller Angel]

Hi, guys. Jamie, why would you even mention this? Without any insurance on the property, you're gonna have a bunch of chumps walking over there while you're on air right now, falling in that dang hole.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Someone check on Paul, because Jeff, Jeff, Jeff made me do it. I'm telling you, I'm stupid to do it. You're right. Did you cover it? It's covered. But Jeff, you're right. Like you said, let's not talk about it. And Jeff made me do it. Everyone listening.

[Sarah Colonna]

Jeff made me have a lawsuit.

[Jeff Lewis]

June is correct. We want to make sure Some little kid doesn't fall down.

[Jamie Kennedy]

No, it's all covered.

[Jeff Lewis]

Someone's dog, someone's cow, some scammer.

[Jamie Kennedy]

It's covered. My Mercedes is on top of it.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yep, but you also have no idea if like there's more of them on your property.

[Jamie Kennedy]

I know. That's what I got to do. And you know what, Sarah? What's.

[Sarah Colonna]

Jeff, Your whole house could be covering a well.

[Jeff Lewis]

Jeff.

[Jamie Kennedy]

I mean, Sarah, I said to Jeff I need a lidar. And I can't believe you didn't know what that is. I need lidar.

[Jeff Lewis]

One morning's gonna wake up and that pool's gonna be empty. Do you guys know there's a well underneath?

[Jamie Kennedy]

Yes. Do you know what LIDAR is, everyone?

[Jeff Lewis]

No.

[Jamie Kennedy]

It's a beam. A green beam that scans your whole property. Can tell you how far they did it under. The Egyptian tombs.

[Sarah Colonna]

Tell you what.

[Jamie Kennedy]

So they. That's how they found their. The tombs have empty caverns underneath it. So that's what I need. A LIDAR scan.

[Jeff Lewis]

Should we call Geico?

[Jamie Kennedy]

We need more than that. We need Geico. Eastwood Insurance. We need them all.

[Jeff Lewis]

I have Geico who insures wells.

[Sarah Colonna]

Not the California Fair act or whatever.

[Jeff Lewis]

Fair plan. You don't think.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, that's not doing it.

[Jamie Kennedy]

I gotta text Spencer.

[Jeff Lewis]

Forget farmers. State Farm. That's out.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, you. I think.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't know what you're gonna do.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Dude, this isn't funny.

[Jeff Lewis]

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[Jamie Kennedy]

And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show. Hey, everyone, Check out this guy and his bird.

[Sarah Colonna]

What is this, your first date?

[Jamie Kennedy]

Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Anyways, get a'@libertymutual.com or with your local agent. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.

[Sarah Colonna]

I'm Kristen Doute.

[Jamie Kennedy]

And I'm Luke Broderick. You might know us from Bravo's the Valley. We're hosts of the Balancing act podcast.

[Sarah Colonna]

We're gathered here today to get through this thing called life. Luke and I know we are all

[Jeff Lewis]

out here doing our best to balance

[Sarah Colonna]

life, love, work, play, family, friends, downfalls and dreams. Life is full of ups and downs and adulting can be hard.

[Jamie Kennedy]

We are still here to get real from both female and male perspective, from very different walks of life, unfiltered and vulnerable.

[Sarah Colonna]

Like Dr. Sue says, be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact. And remember that life's a great balancing act.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Act.

[Sarah Colonna]

Listen to Balancing act wherever you get your podcast.

[Jeff Lewis]

We were talking to Jamie about his Silence of the Lamb's Basement.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Yeah,

[Sarah Colonna]

Precious.

[Jeff Lewis]

Was she a great big fat person?

[Jamie Kennedy]

She a great big fat person.

[Sarah Colonna]

Can I help you with that?

[Jeff Lewis]

I'd fuck me.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Yeah, it's. We gotta figure this out.

[Jeff Lewis]

We sure do. Now we have Angel. Is it Angel? Angel. What is. What do we. How do we pronounce that? Oscar. You don't even know. Highline for Georgia.

[Caller Angel]

Yes, I am a chomp. So hello, everyone.

[Jeff Lewis]

How do we pronounce your name? Chomp?

[Caller Angel]

Angelle.

[Jeff Lewis]

Angel. Okay.

[Caller Angel]

Angel. Like.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, like Angelle.

[Caller Angel]

It sounds like Angel. Anyway, my family had a water well company. They sent, sold it, but anyway, for a long, long time. Jamie.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Yeah.

[Caller Angel]

A couple of things. Is your home real old?

[Jeff Lewis]

No, I mean brand new. Seven years old.

[Caller Angel]

The building code would not have allowed a well to be needed there. Right. It's 2000, possibly been farmland.

[Jamie Kennedy]

I think it was farmland a hundred years ago. In fact, I saw pictures of it, and I just think no one discovered it. Or somebody. Angel is being duplicitous.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, somebody discovered it and put a big piece of concrete over it.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't think it's angel, is it?

[Jamie Kennedy]

Angel.

[Sarah Colonna]

Angel.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Angel. Oh, my.

[Caller Angel]

J. Like Angel.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Okay.

[Caller Angel]

Angel with a J.

[Jeff Lewis]

How do we fill this thing?

[Jamie Kennedy]

How do we fill the hole?

[Caller Angel]

Well, you want to. First of all, I would check the health department and just make sure that they don't have record of it, just to double check. But you need to call a water well contractor. You don't want to just have some person come in and fill it

[Sarah Colonna]

from the insurance company. How's he going to call a water well?

[Caller Angel]

You do have a part. You do have a point. Absolutely.

[Jamie Kennedy]

And what can I. Should I call the news?

[Caller Angel]

Sure, if you want to.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't think the news is gonna help you.

[Jamie Kennedy]

I think the news will say, honestly, I think I can blow this whole story up. And I think it'll be that I discovered a well. And I think there's a lot of houses that have wells. And I think the whole city is gonna be on alert because of me. Because of you. We said we weren't gonna talk about it. We did. So now I have a well. Guess what? Everybody's got a well. We all owe wells.

[Jeff Lewis]

I bet that water well contractor is gonna be so expensive.

[Jamie Kennedy]

That's what I'm saying. And, Jill, what do you think it costs to fill? What would. I mean, 30ft.

[Caller Angel]

It would be like. But you're like four feet wide, though.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Four feet by four.

[Caller Angel]

That's not a well.

[Jeff Lewis]

What is it?

[Caller Angel]

I guess it could have spread, you know, over time. More and more water.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, it's.

[Sarah Colonna]

It's.

[Caller Angel]

Water is going to.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Angel, give me the price.

[Sarah Colonna]

That big.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Give me the price.

[Jeff Lewis]

Four by four. It's all brick.

[Caller Angel]

I mean, like, exactly what was stated earlier. Like around up to 5,000, but that's here, so.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Okay, listen, I think it's more than that. Can I just put dirt in it?

[Jeff Lewis]

Can you imagine the permitting Process the dirt. Oh, my God.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Can I just fill it with dirt?

[Caller Angel]

Open back up.

[Jeff Lewis]

Huh?

[Jamie Kennedy]

I want to just put dirt in it.

[Sarah Colonna]

You better start looking for another house. How?

[Jamie Kennedy]

No one's gonna buy this.

[Sarah Colonna]

No. And you don't have a realtor anymore, so.

[Jeff Lewis]

Or insurance.

[Sarah Colonna]

No. Oh, that's right. Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

She doesn't have. He doesn't have insurance. He doesn't have a real estate agent. Nobody.

[Sarah Colonna]

I kind of like just a well full of twinks.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Can I just go back to being in timeout

[Jeff Lewis]

now? Thank you so much for your call.

[Jamie Kennedy]

And Jill, Jael, have a great day.

[Jeff Lewis]

You too.

[Sarah Colonna]

Bye, girl.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, there's something else that's bothering you, which I was wondering how long it was going to take for you. So when we put our cans out on Thursdays, if you happen to leave them out there even an hour after the trash pickup happens, people come by and they walk their dogs and they put shit bags in our cans. So I literally have people waiting at the window, and soon as that trash truck grabs the cans, we pull them on in. Because it just takes a half an hour to fill it with dog shit. And you have a term for it.

[Jamie Kennedy]

What did I call?

[Jeff Lewis]

Shit swatted.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Yeah. Yeah. Get shit swatted. You know, that is. And they swat your house. People show up.

[Sarah Colonna]

I do.

[Jamie Kennedy]

The shitters show up. I get shit swatted. I go out there, the trash is there at 11. At 12, it's each trash can. The recyclable. The recyclable shit's not recycled. The black can, the green can at

[Sarah Colonna]

least only put it in the black can.

[Jamie Kennedy]

And it's this little bag. Someone like Jameson, no offense, just like tied it up in a bow. And he's like, I'm just gonna deposit this shit in this can. No, if you got a dog, let him shit in your property. Take it. I have enough problems. I'm gonna fight with my insurance agent.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's gonna get worse.

[Jamie Kennedy]

My real estate agent hates my guts. And I got a 30 foot well. So I got shit.

[Jeff Lewis]

Beautiful brand new trash cans. They're so clean, dude. Now I'm gonna warn you what's gonna happen if you leave that can out for an hour. You're gonna have four shit bags in there. And then when it gets hot in the summer, it's gonna bake from Friday all the way to next Friday.

[Jamie Kennedy]

This is what I'm saying.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, it's the worst.

[Jamie Kennedy]

This is what I'm saying to you and people like, what's the big deal? Because you put them in the side of your House and it stinks. And you're like, did I just shit my pants?

[Sarah Colonna]

And you're like, no, it's my can. If they're at least doing that, at least only put it in the black ones. Don't put it in the recycle.

[Jeff Lewis]

They put. They put it in the green. They don't know they put it in the green, they put it in the blue. They put it in the black. You're right.

[Jamie Kennedy]

So I'm not alone in this.

[Jeff Lewis]

No.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Okay. We get shit swatted.

[Jeff Lewis]

Everyone gets shit swatted.

[Jamie Kennedy]

It's terrible.

[Jeff Lewis]

And sometimes it happens like in five minutes.

[Jamie Kennedy]

So I want a dog collar to call me right now and go, what makes you think you have the right to pick up your dog do and put it in a baggie and put it in my can or Jeff's can?

[Jeff Lewis]

I hate to tell you this. I think It's Snow White 90210.

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

They live right around the block.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Oh my gosh. Are you kidding me?

[Jeff Lewis]

There's Snow White shit.

[Sarah Colonna]

But there's dumpsters smell real bad. Cause she's old and rotting and it's

[Jeff Lewis]

runny and it's disgusting.

[Jamie Kennedy]

But what if it's Jameson and he had an accident?

[Jeff Lewis]

Can you put it in the.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Payback's a bitch. Wait, Jameson, do you defend these shits? Waters, I think it is crummy to

[Sarah Colonna]

put it in other people's cans, but I guess it's better than throwing it on the street.

[Jamie Kennedy]

But also, yes, theoretically, you should bring

[Sarah Colonna]

it to your own.

[Jeff Lewis]

You gotta get those cans in right away.

[Jamie Kennedy]

I know, it's crazy.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're thinking about cans. You're thinking about camping out in the RV just to catch people.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Yeah. I want to put an extra camera up. I want to put a shit can up.

[Sarah Colonna]

Why don't you just put. Why don't you move the concrete thing and put a little mat over it? Oh, yeah, 4x4 rug.

[Jeff Lewis]

And then they just fall down the well.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Wait a minute.

[Sarah Colonna]

And say, please deposit your poo poo here.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Yes, that's why. And the dog. And the Jamie Kennedy experiment. I could use the well as the shit can.

[Jeff Lewis]

Just put the shit down.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Yes. And I can be helping the neighborhood. I get fertilizer and everybody's happy.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Jamie Kennedy]

And the well gets full for free.

[Sarah Colonna]

No problem.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, you went to a concert.

[Sarah Colonna]

I did.

[Jeff Lewis]

Was it this last weekend?

[Sarah Colonna]

It was on Friday night.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. Randy Travis.

[Sarah Colonna]

Randy Travis. A very famous country artist.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Stagecoach.

[Sarah Colonna]

No, just. Now that's kind of what happened.

[Jeff Lewis]

Happen.

[Sarah Colonna]

Randy Travis. Do you know who he is? Yeah, of course. That's him. Yeah. So he was playing at the theater at the Saban. Is that how you say it? Oh, yeah. S A B a M. Saban. My friend said it's. She saw tickets. She said, randy Travis with a guy named James Dupre who's covered some of his songs on the Voice. She said, we should go see Randy Travis. And I was like, oh, I thought he had a stroke a long time ago. He did and lost his voice. And we were like, he must be doing great.

[Jeff Lewis]

He must be on the mend.

[Sarah Colonna]

Must be on the mend. So we go to the concert, and James Dupree started singing Randy Travis songs, and Randy Travis videos started playing in the background. And Randy Travis sat on stage and watched the entire concert with his wife. And that was it. That was the whole concert.

[Jeff Lewis]

So he didn't even sing.

[Sarah Colonna]

He didn't sing. He didn't talk. His wife told very long stories, and James Dupree sang his songs. And then when his wife would talk, James Dupree would stand back, and then they'd play another Randy Travis video from, like, the 80s, and she would talk about it, and then James Dupree would come back out, and Randy Travis didn't sing. Obviously, he can't. And.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, you didn't know that when he bought chickens?

[Sarah Colonna]

I didn't know that. That's not how it was billed.

[Jeff Lewis]

False advertising.

[Sarah Colonna]

I didn't do my research. I didn't. I just thought maybe he was on the mends. But it turns out he doesn't sing. He just sits there and watches his own songs be sang by someone else. And one of my friends.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's like a memorial.

[Sarah Colonna]

It was like a funeral, but with the person there.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's so weird.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's so weird. My friend leaned over. It made me laugh so hard. He whispered at one point, he goes, I've always wanted to see James Dupree. And then we couldn't stop laughing because I was, like, trying because none of us knew who that was.

[Jeff Lewis]

So it's a James Dupree concert.

[Sarah Colonna]

It's a James Dupree concert.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's a Randy Travis.

[Sarah Colonna]

It's a lovely voice, by the way. But Randy Travis, it must have been torture for him. Imagine you sitting on stage watching someone else tell your joke.

[Jeff Lewis]

Torture. Collecting everybody's money.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Well, I know, but as an artist,

[Sarah Colonna]

you want to do your art. That's what you want to do. It was weird because he was singing all the words. Like, he was mouthing all the words along and singing, but he couldn't he can't actually sing them. And then it's.

[Jamie Kennedy]

And.

[Sarah Colonna]

And it was very strange.

[Jeff Lewis]

This is James Dupre.

[Sarah Colonna]

That's j. Randy Travis.

[Jamie Kennedy]

But going on stage and being there is very therapeutic for him, I'm sure.

[Jeff Lewis]

What about for us who bought tickets? We thought we were going to hear Randy.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Hey, you're getting to see him.

[Jeff Lewis]

He's there lip syncing. Not really.

[Jamie Kennedy]

He can't. So you're getting to see him.

[Sarah Colonna]

It was a little depressing, but I mean, maybe he, you know, I don't know. It was a little depressing, but obviously he. People were excited.

[Jeff Lewis]

Was he in a wheelchair or was he just on a chair? Chair.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, he was on a chair. Chair, but I think he got to the chair from a wheelchair, so I

[Jeff Lewis]

think that's even more depressing.

[Sarah Colonna]

And then I remembered that I. He couldn't talk at an award show a few years ago. But I guess I just thought. They didn't say that it was just a living memorial for him. They said it was a concert. I was a miracle.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Seems like I'm on.

[Sarah Colonna]

James Dupree had a nice voice.

[Jamie Kennedy]

It seems like I'm on a redemption arc. Let's take calls. What's worse? Me giving away my cats or Sarah's reaction to Randy Travis?

[Sarah Colonna]

I had a nice reaction.

[Jamie Kennedy]

I. I just feel the same way. Wait. I think it's beautiful. I watched the whole. I got beautiful.

[Jeff Lewis]

You got duped.

[Jamie Kennedy]

No, she didn't.

[Jeff Lewis]

She catfished.

[Jamie Kennedy]

The poor guy had a catfish by James Dupree.

[Jeff Lewis]

He sold tickets to a Randy Travis concert and James Dupree came in and sang.

[Jamie Kennedy]

It's okay. It's like fine.

[Jeff Lewis]

Next live show. I don't even to go.

[Jamie Kennedy]

No, Just prop me up.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm just gonna have myself silly Todd do it.

[Sarah Colonna]

I mean, that is what we do. You guys still manage to do it? Yeah. People there didn't. I couldn't tell if other people were surprised. At one point I did hear some guy yell behind me, God, this is so fucking boring. And I was like, that's not right. Yeah, you gotta.

[Jamie Kennedy]

You're like, jon, shut up.

[Sarah Colonna]

Save your comments. I was like, save your comments for later. I mean, it was. The songs were nice. People were two stepping in the aisle by the end of it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did you hear about John? Her husband's new business venture?

[Jamie Kennedy]

No.

[Jeff Lewis]

He bought another sports team. But not just any sports team. All girls soccer team. Cherry bombs.

[Sarah Colonna]

Portland Cherry bombs.

[Jeff Lewis]

Really?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, they got real cute.

[Jeff Lewis]

And he's been spending a lot of time with cherry bombs.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Pro or semi?

[Sarah Colonna]

Pro. Pre professional. So like the minor league, Basically.

[Jeff Lewis]

Not a lot of girls.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, Pre pro.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Okay.

[Sarah Colonna]

Cherry bombs.

[Jamie Kennedy]

The cherry bomb. They sound like. That sounds like a cute name.

[Sarah Colonna]

It's really cool. They have a lot of really cool merch, if you want some.

[Jamie Kennedy]

So wait, he bought it?

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Wow.

[Sarah Colonna]

They started it. Him and his.

[Jamie Kennedy]

And so. Wait, so it sounds like a bunch of these strippers.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are these women cherry bombs?

[Jamie Kennedy]

Are these women Savannah banana?

[Jeff Lewis]

These are prostitutes, by the way.

[Jamie Kennedy]

That's a good idea. Are these women out of college? And then they start young. They're getting young. Wow. Yeah.

[Sarah Colonna]

Pre Professional. They start in May and.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Shout out Bobby Brown. Oh, wow.

[Jeff Lewis]

You gotta play this.

[Sarah Colonna]

Wow.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Sweet.

[Sarah Colonna]

The cherry bomb song.

[Jamie Kennedy]

There's a cherry bomb. Hold on. So you are. Are you insinuating that John is picking some cherries? Is that what you're saying?

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm just.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Are you saying he's trying to get to the pit?

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm saying he probably spends a lot of time in that locker room.

[Jamie Kennedy]

No, he can't. Can't do it. You sure can't do it. What's he coming near? All right, ladies, I want to talk to you.

[Jeff Lewis]

Take the showers when you're hanging out. Is he starting to turn his phone upside down?

[Jamie Kennedy]

Ooh, do not disturb. I do that all the time.

[Jeff Lewis]

Have you checked airplane mode? Have you been checking the credit card?

[Sarah Colonna]

No, I don't have.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm not allowed to have charges. I bet he's been buying some lingerie.

[Sarah Colonna]

Some. Okay, maybe.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, they're. Are those cherry bombs?

[Sarah Colonna]

I think. I don't know if they actually play for them. I'm not sure that that's the. The team.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, that one's pretty. You see that cherry bomb right there?

[Sarah Colonna]

There's some cherry bombs.

[Jeff Lewis]

There's some pretty cherry bombs.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. Wait, but listen, as long as you.

[Jeff Lewis]

I wouldn't worry about the one on the right.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. But also.

[Jeff Lewis]

What?

[Sarah Colonna]

There's the bangers, the men's soccer team. So if he gets a cherry bomb, then I have the Portland bangers. That's our men's soccer team.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Nice.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's. Okay. Now that's something I'd like to go see.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Yeah, I would see the bangers.

[Sarah Colonna]

The bangers.

[Jamie Kennedy]

The bangos.

[Jeff Lewis]

Portland bangers. They're dudes.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. And their mascot's a big sausage, and he has sausage hair. Yeah, you have to look up. Look up their mask. Oh, look at Attractive.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Hey, Jeff. Fellas, I think it's safe to say. I think you're okay with the hubby. I think it's safe to say, a few of those players don't look like

[Jeff Lewis]

they're really into men.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Into men.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, but some of them look like absolute sorry hoes.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, listen, maybe some of them get it on and I sit there on stage and watch, like Randy Travis. They just do my job for me.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, go back to that picture.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Whoa. This is weird.

[Sarah Colonna]

The Portland banger.

[Jamie Kennedy]

This is a little bizarre.

[Sarah Colonna]

Now.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now we're getting cherry bombs. I mean, you gotta admit that one on the lower right, she's been around the block.

[Sarah Colonna]

She's a pretty lady.

[Jamie Kennedy]

She's. Oh, yeah, there's. Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, the one on the bottom left looks pure, but you gotta worry about those. Those are the ones that are nasty behind closed doors.

[Sarah Colonna]

She has golden blonde hair. Those are the ones.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's very, very cute. She's very cute.

[Sarah Colonna]

The nice ones, that'll give you a little reach around when you're not expecting it.

[Jeff Lewis]

She looks like that Fanning girl. That. Not Dakota, but the other one, Elle Fanning. She's very pretty. She looks like Elle Fanning. I wonder, what's John's type?

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, I used to think it was me, but now I'm not so sure.

[Jeff Lewis]

And is that the coach? She looks like a Sports Illustrated model.

[Jamie Kennedy]

She's pretty.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah. He's probably more into the coach. That's probably more his style.

[Jamie Kennedy]

How much time is he spending up there?

[Sarah Colonna]

A lot. Well, he hasn't gone yet. He's going in May. And I wasn't supposed to go, but maybe I will.

[Jeff Lewis]

A lot of Zoom Zoom meetings with his pants off.

[Sarah Colonna]

Is that weird?

[Jamie Kennedy]

Wow.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'd be concerned. Well, how was your dinner with Doug on Friday?

[Sarah Colonna]

Oh, my God. Okay. It was great. We had a great time at Debarba. But I have one quick thing to tell you is I told him I was getting a stress test. Not a big deal. Nothing's wrong with my heart. It's just a thing that my doctor told me to do. It's like a checkup. It's like they just put you on a treadmill.

[Jeff Lewis]

Why would you get a stress test?

[Sarah Colonna]

I don't know. She just said it's a good idea. They check if you have any. I don't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

Most people like that. They have jobs and financial responsibilities. Oh, you don't need a stress test.

[Sarah Colonna]

Well, the cherry bombs are making me need one, I guess.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, that's true.

[Sarah Colonna]

Okay, so I was telling Doug, I go, oh, they hook you up to a treadmill and they just put things on your heart. And then he goes, yeah. And then they come up from behind you, and they throw you on the ground. And I said, no.

[Jamie Kennedy]

What?

[Sarah Colonna]

I don't. They don't do that. And he goes, yes. And John and I were talking about it on the way home. He's like. He doubled down. He's like, sarah, they throw you on the ground. That's why it's called a stress test. And I was like, I think you fucking went somewhere else for that. And paid extra. Because my doctor.

[Jeff Lewis]

I've never heard of that. Getting tackled by a doctor.

[Jamie Kennedy]

He's confusing his visits to the men's steam room exactly.

[Sarah Colonna]

Something's going on.

[Jeff Lewis]

I've heard of that.

[Jamie Kennedy]

I've had stress tests.

[Sarah Colonna]

Because it's not real. That's not something that happens in a normal. Your doctor.

[Jeff Lewis]

How long was the dinner and how much did you drink?

[Sarah Colonna]

We had three bottles of wine and.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Oh, my God, a bottle each.

[Sarah Colonna]

There was three.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Who was the third? John.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, John.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Oh, John. Hugh. He's big.

[Jeff Lewis]

I hope he started with cocktails.

[Sarah Colonna]

We. No. Well, we had a roadie.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, Traveler.

[Sarah Colonna]

Yeah, we had a Traveler in the Uber.

[Jamie Kennedy]

A roadie. Sodi.

[Sarah Colonna]

And then we had three bottles of wine, but there were three of us.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Holy crap.

[Sarah Colonna]

John's a big guy.

[Jeff Lewis]

What about Cherry Bomb? How long did it. Did the dinner take? Because usually about an hour. I'm done.

[Sarah Colonna]

We were there a couple hours.

[Jeff Lewis]

What did he talk about for two hours?

[Sarah Colonna]

Getting tackled from behind by a doctor.

[Jeff Lewis]

You talk about his chili pads and all that?

[Sarah Colonna]

A little bit.

[Jeff Lewis]

Thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Jeff Lewis Live every weekday on SiriusXM as well as the Jeff Lewis Channel exclusively on the SiriusXM app.

[Jamie Kennedy]

And, Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual, even if it means sitting free front row at a comedy show. Hey, everyone.

[Jeff Lewis]

Check out this guy and his bird.

[Sarah Colonna]

What is this, your first date?

[Jamie Kennedy]

Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.

[Jamie Kennedy]

Anyways, get a [e-mail] or with your local agent. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.