Shannon Beador & Doug Budin: Airport PA & Sleepover

Summary

Episode Overview

Podcast: Jeff Lewis Has Issues
Episode: Shannon Beador & Doug Budin: Airport PA & Sleepover
Date: April 8, 2026
Guests: Shannon Beador, Doug Budin, (plus other recurring show members: Jamison, Annie, Patrick, Paul, Todd, Keon, and Liz)

In this no-holds-barred episode, Jeff Lewis and his “Chumps” team reunite in Phoenix after their sold-out live show. Amid recaps of travel misadventures, a chaotic Airbnb sleepover, and signature group antics, they dive deep into drama at the airport, embarrassing public moments, and the peculiarities of group travel. The conversation is full of sharp banter, playful accusations, and the group’s trademark judgment—with Jeff leading the charge. From discussing sleep habits and packing rituals to cringe-worthy public announcements and inappropriate airport behavior, the crew spares no details. Shannon Beador reflects on how this trip compares to her Real Housewives cast trips, Doug’s “lube in the dopp kit” scenario unravels, and Patrick and Paul’s antics test everyone’s patience.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Airport Antics & Group Travel Drama

• Burbank Airport Mayhem (11:03–12:52)

  • The group emphasizes flying out of Burbank for its "efficiency"—but Patrick and Paul’s disappointment at the lack of a lounge sets the tone for their drama-filled trip.
  • Patrick is "very, very fixated on the no lounge at Burbank," leading to loud complaints, TikTok shenanigans, and general disruption.

    "They're building a new terminal, and even that won't have a lounge." — Doug (11:30)

  • Todd is so embarrassed by the group’s public behavior that he physically separates from them at the airport (11:48).

• Inappropriate Airplane Behavior (14:00–16:19)

  • Patrick discusses a plane crash in full voice at the gate, alarming fellow passengers.
  • Onboard, Patrick and Paul clip nails and paint them, using the overhead vent to dry the polish, filling the cabin with fumes—grossing out everyone.

    "Patrick was clipping his fingernails…then Paul started painting his nails and drying them on the little air vent so we could all smell the nail polish." — Jeff (15:12) "During takeoff…nail polish started rolling down the aisle…" — Doug (15:31)

  • The crew tries to identify who lost their nail polish on the flight; Jeff and Todd are confused about a passenger's gender and recount the awkwardness with humor and confusion (16:12–16:40).

• Gate Boarding Snafus

  • Keon and other group members suffer embarrassment when boarding groups are called at the airport, highlighting the stress of traveling with such a big, chaotic crew (45:48).

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2. The Airbnb Sleepover: Roommate Revelations

• Sleep Arrangements & the “Camp Chump” Vibe (01:25–04:41)

  • Jamison dons a “Camp Chump” shirt and bandana, likening himself to a camp counselor; the group jokes about his “camp leader” duties.
  • Jeff and Jamison are praised as "excellent roommates," giving play-by-play of their hyper-considerate cohabitation—complete with a two-story pillow wall and projector stars on the ceiling.

    "We had a double pillow wall…we slept peacefully." — Jamison (02:17)

  • The group debates unpacking habits, with Jeff fully unpacking for an overnight and Jamison carefully nesting with a luggage rack—setting up a battle between “organized” vs. “cluttered.”
  • Bathroom privacy issues arise; quick solutions are found, and the issue of whether anyone showered with the door open becomes a running joke.

• Middle-of-the-Night Mishaps

  • Todd triggers all the house lights with a home lighting system, waking people up (05:06).

    "In the middle of the night, all of a sudden all the lights come on full brightness." — Doug (05:06)

  • Jeff’s use of a pillow to shield himself from noise and the sound machine (“New York City street rain”) becomes another point of humor (03:07).

---

3. Packing & Travel Habits

• Luggage Philosophy

  • Doug is grilled by Jeff for always packing lube in his dopp kit, which leads to speculation about his travel “intentions.” (06:13–07:36)

    "There's no mistake if there's lube in your bag…yes, it was intentional." — Jeff (06:27)

  • Group strictly instructed not to check bags, but Todd checks his anyway, causing logistical headaches, including prolonged waits at baggage claim and convoluted arrangements for show equipment (20:40; 21:14).

    "We worked so hard so that Todd not to have to check a bag…and then he checked his anyway." — Jamison (21:14)

• Airport Public Address Pranks (22:01)

  • Todd kills time at baggage claim by using the airport’s online PA request system to submit fake names for announcements (“Hugh Janus,” “Ivana Jizzingyou,” “Mike Latoris,” and “Jenna Talia”), much to the group’s amusement.

    "He logs on...and starts paging people: Hugh Jordan, Hugh Janus, Ivana Jizzingyou..." — Jeff (22:11)

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4. Live Show Recap, Group Dynamics, & Chump Culture

• Chump House Vibes vs. Housewives Cast Trips (08:12–09:08)

  • Shannon raves about the fun and bonding with the Chumps compared to Real Housewives cast trips.

    "I literally have been laughing the entire time." — Shannon (07:59)

  • Jeff contrasts his group’s self-selection and genuine camaraderie with Bravo’s often-forced cast dynamics.

• “Rose & Thorn” at the Airbnb (09:19–09:37)

  • The group does a “rose and thorn” check-in reminiscent of Real Housewives rituals, with Patrick and Paul taking top honors as everyone’s “thorn” due to their airport/plane antics.

• Show Gifts & Traditions (09:29–09:44)

  • Doug gifts everyone “Chump slippers and sleep masks”—a recurring feature of Chump sleepovers.

• Behind-the-Scenes Event Logistics

  • The group’s elaborate efforts to transport show props (smoke machines, lasers, etc.) become the butt of jokes, especially when it’s realized the tasks could've been handled more efficiently (23:13–24:04).

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5. Memorable Moments, Banter, & Listener Call-Ins

• Sleepover Mishaps

  • A strict “no dog” rule is broken at the Airbnb; a dog pees on Annie’s dress just before the show (27:37–28:33).

• Strange Voicemail from a Karaoke Encounter (25:44–26:57)

  • Annie recounts a stranger’s bizarre, sexual voicemail after a karaoke night: "Do you want to see my pink finger?" leading to debate about when such explicit discussion is (or isn’t) appropriate.

    "I think he was jacking off while he left that message. I think he's a pervert." — Doug (27:00)

• British Gay Slang Lesson: “Cottaging” (32:17–33:20)

  • Doug asks Siri what sex at a rest stop is called, introducing “cottaging” to the group, lending another layer to the running jokes about his travel kit.

• New Live Show Games:

  • "Hot Seat with the Wheel of Misfortune”: Audience and panel answer funny, sometimes polarizing questions, leading to playful accusations and revelations.

• Group Self-Deprecation & Body Shaming

  • Extended critique of Doug’s new pants, his body shape, and group teasing about physical appearances (36:42–38:37).

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Drama:

  "They said that I am by far the most difficult talent they’re working with. You know, we could say we don't judge. I judge. And I was judging." — Jeff (00:46)

• On Travel Habits:

  "For one night, less than eight hours in this Airbnb, Jeff fully unpacked in the closet." — Jamison (03:42)

• On Group Dynamics:

  "I feel like we have a very strong network of people who truly do enjoy spending time together…That is the distinct difference between this show and every other show on Bravo." — Jeff (09:01)

• On Airport Pranks:

  "He logs on to skyharbor.com…starts paging people: Hugh Jordan, Hugh Janus, Ivana Jizzingyou, Mike Latoris and Jenna Talia." — Jeff (22:11)

• On Comfort:

  "There’s a strict, strict, strict no dog policy at the Airbnb…she’s not housebroken…had a little accident last night…Annie, you were sitting on the couch, the dog…peed on my dress right before we like went on stage." — Jeff & Annie (27:20–27:44)

• On Packing “Necessities”:

  "There's no mistake if there's lube in your bag…yes, it was intentional." — Jeff & Doug (06:27)

• On Public Embarrassment:

  "Patrick was clipping his fingernails, Paul was painting his nails and drying them…so we could all smell the nail polish." — Jeff (15:12)

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Segment Timestamps for Key Moments

| Segment Topic | Timestamp | |---------------------------------------------------------------|------------| | Opening banter, group intros, Camp Chump vibe | 01:25–01:53| | Sleepover roommate discussion, pillow wall, unpacking | 01:58–04:41| | Packing habits & awkward bathroom situations | 03:42–04:41| | Todd triggers house lighting system | 05:06 | | Todd’s online airport PA pranks | 22:01–22:37| | Burbank airport drama; Patrick & Paul’s public disruption | 11:03–12:52| | Onboard: nail clipping & painting, flight attendant drama | 14:00–19:57| | Doug’s lube in the dopp kit | 06:13–07:36| | “Rose & thorn” group check-in | 09:19–09:47| | “Cottaging” & gay slang lesson | 32:17–33:20| | Listener call-in: Baby Chump, audience experience | 39:54–41:56| | Chump fashion critique (Doug’s pants, body talk) | 36:42–38:37| | End: travel plans & why Patrick and Paul are always invited | 44:17–47:04|

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Tone & Language

The episode is sharp-witted, irreverent, and filled with the group’s trademark blend of affectionate ribbing, candid judgments, and outlandish storytelling. Jeff maintains his sarcastic, no-filter edge, while Shannon, Doug, and the rest of the Chumps alternate between self-deprecation and mock outrage. Over-the-top anecdotes, inside jokes, and mutual teasing keep the show lively and entertaining.

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Final Thoughts

This episode is a classic Jeff Lewis “Chumps” hangout: full of inside-baseball drama, outrageous travel stories, affectionate shade-throwing, and reality TV self-awareness. It gives listeners a fly-on-the-wall feel for both the mayhem of group trips and the warmth at the core of this quirky ensemble.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

They said that I am by far the most difficult talent that they're working with. You know, we could say we don't judge. I judge. And I was judging.

[C]

Money doesn't make you an asshole. But if you're an asshole and with a ton of money, you're gonna be a bigger asshole.

[B]

Why are you looking at.

[C]

At me? No, I didn't. I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to look in that direction.

[B]

Right at me.

[A]

Jeff Lewis has issues.

[B]

Hey, it's Jeff Lewis. And I have issues. In today's episode, Shannon Bedor and Doug Buden join the show from Phoenix. We recap our stage show from the night before and talk about Todd's childish airport behavior. Plus, we share details about our night at the Airbnb. Does anyone notice what Jameson's wearing around his neck today? What is that?

[C]

Well, I'm wearing my Camp Chump shirt. Vintage chump from 202023 at Megan's house. But then I felt a little bit like a camp counselor wrangling everyone, so I just added a little bandana around the neck to give it the fun camp vibe. Aren't we having fun?

[D]

A kerchief.

[B]

I don't want to walk next time at the airport. It's embarrassing. It really is embarrassing.

[C]

I'm glad you love.

[E]

It's cute.

[F]

It's. I like it. I like it.

[C]

You can check it out on the picture at radioandyinsa or at jl. Jeff Lewis.

[B]

Okay. Thank you. You're welcome. So Jamison and I, turns out we are excellent roommates.

[E]

Really?

[B]

Don't you agree?

[C]

I thought it was great. You know what I was saying it reminded me of. You know when you first start dating someone and you start having sleepovers and you. You like. You don't Want to move because you don't want to wake them up or anything. But we slept peacefully.

[D]

You didn't touch?

[B]

We did, but I was very careful not to turn too many times. I didn't want to wake up.

[F]

Did you face each other?

[C]

I don't. We had the pillow wall.

[F]

We had a divider pillow.

[B]

We had a double pillow wall. We did so. Because you brought your own pillow.

[C]

Of course.

[B]

So we had an extra one. So we had a two story pillow wall.

[D]

Did you make it through the night, both of you, without having to get up to like use the bathroom?

[B]

I think we both had to go, but I got up.

[F]

Did you. Did I wake you?

[G]

No, not at all.

[C]

Jeff made it. I woke up in the middle of the night. I was very impressed that Jeff did not wake up. And the. I gotta tell you, as I was like kind of waking up every now and then in the night. That projector is so sweet, isn't it? It's. I really recommend it to anyone. It's so sweet and it spins.

[B]

And we had stars. We had moon.

[C]

It was really nice.

[D]

Did you have a machine? It was a little loud. Where I was, where I was staying.

[E]

You could hear the sound.

[D]

No, no, no, sorry. I could hear everybody's doctor.

[F]

Well, that. That would have been us. Because my noise machine didn't plug in because it. I needed it. What is that?

[G]

Hdmi?

[C]

Yeah, HDMI for a sound machine.

[F]

So Annie turned on. What was it called?

[C]

New York.

[G]

New York City street rain. That's my sound.

[F]

Okay. But then I noticed, like, you hear the honking of the horns in the background until we fell asleep too. Last night.

[B]

We. We went to bed. James responsible. We went to bed around 12:30. I will say you're considerate. You're clean. Thank you. Quiet. Yeah.

[D]

You really surprise you. Wouldn't you expect that?

[B]

I just thought it was even better. He's a really, really considerate roommate.

[F]

And you slept?

[B]

I did sleep and I knew to

[C]

clean off the counter, which I would normally. Anyway, the only snafu we had was when we were unpacking Jeff. So this is very interesting about Jeff Lewis. For one night, less than eight hours in this Airbnb, Jeff fully unpacked in the closet.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

But I just got a luggage rack and I put it next to the be. He was like, I. Are you going? Are you just gonna leave your luggage here?

[B]

Well, we had a huge walk in closet.

[C]

Yeah. But what I like, I don't like to spread when I travel because then I don't know if I have Everything. I know. Everything's right here in a little contained space, so I know I'm in my zone. This is.

[B]

Felt cluttered to me.

[C]

Interesting. I felt organized.

[B]

I mean, that was the worst part. It was. It wasn't that big of a deal. Yeah, I mean, it was, but it wasn't.

[D]

And what about the fact that you. You were talking about how there was no door on the bathroom.

[B]

We worked it out.

[C]

We did. So we locked the primary room door and Jeff swore to me that he wouldn't watch me shower. And he held true to his promise. And I appreciate that. Thank you.

[B]

Oh, you're very welcome. Check out. I hope you watch the shower.

[C]

I did.

[B]

I left the door open.

[D]

It's a nice big house. Plenty of rooms, plenty of bathrooms. I loved it.

[B]

Now, Todd Lewis. So they had some sort of like lighting Lutron light system or control 4. Todd Lewis hit, I guess all on last night. So that's what happened. That's why all our lights went on in the bedroom last night.

[C]

In the middle of the night, all of a sudden, all the lights come on full brightness.

[B]

But Jeff.

[C]

Jeff had a pillow. I looked over.

[E]

Yeah. Mike did ours. Did it in the bunk.

[C]

I wonder. I wonder if it was my dad. You think I wondered about it because

[B]

he came with us to Phoenix?

[C]

Maybe he comes with me everywhere. But then I'm trying to, like, turn it off. It's not a switch. It's those dimmer pads.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And I'm like feverishly. The lights are just going, like on and off, on and off. So I'm glad it didn't wake you. You had a pillow over your head.

[B]

I had to put it over my ears because Patrick Simpson is so fucking. I could just hear him. Just his voice just echoing through the house.

[C]

Did have.

[B]

Because you were. You were up late, Shannon. And so is Annie lakindra. La Kendra. Annie, you, Patrick, Liz. Liz, Todd.

[F]

Oh, Todd was up.

[B]

Yeah. Was pole out up too?

[F]

No, no, he went to bed.

[D]

I went to bed the same time.

[B]

I had to, actually. Even with the sound machine. Jameson. I had to put the pillow over

[C]

my ears as we were falling asleep. We just hear like, his voice really rings throughout that cavernous home.

[B]

Now, is it true, Doug, that you brought lube?

[D]

Well, there is. There is. I didn't. Yes, yes. I didn't. I didn't say like, oh, let me pack some lube. My. What do they call? Do kit. There's a thing, a lube in my do.

[B]

Okay, so here's the thing. We know you, right? So you. You Pack you. First of all, you do a poll, you do an edit, you do a pack, you do a repack. There's no mistake if there's lube in your bag. You knew it was there. Yes, it was intentional.

[D]

It's in my dopp kit.

[B]

At all. You thought that you had a moment to rub one out.

[E]

We're showing a bathroom.

[D]

I really didn't. I had. No.

[B]

Why would you bring.

[D]

It's just. It's in my dopp kit now.

[B]

There was somebody that DM'd. DM'd him. Shannon, right?

[F]

Well, yeah. I mean, last time I was in this town with Doug Buten, he met up and had had lunch with someone.

[D]

Okay. Lunch.

[B]

His lunch. Code lunch.

[G]

Where?

[F]

Well, we saw him leaving the hotel enough, so I don't know if it's code.

[B]

So it was. We think it was the same guy that DM'd him yesterday. Yeah, Yesterday someone did a lunch.

[E]

Well, now we.

[D]

Same guy that I had lunch with.

[E]

We can't go back to the Airbnb after the show, so you'll have time for lunch if you want to.

[B]

Do you have cash? Well, because it's most likely. Let's be honest, it's most likely a professional.

[D]

He paid for lunch last time.

[F]

Jeff brought a binder clip full of cash. He said he. For you.

[B]

A thousand bucks. And he said it wasn't enough

[C]

for a lick.

[B]

Oh, a lick. And I said, that's probably all it takes. Well, it's been a while since you've been touched. Right.

[D]

These are my friends. I have to keep reminding myself that every day. These are my friends.

[B]

Shannon Beador. How was this trip compared to a Real Housewives of Orange County?

[F]

I have to. Well, I. I always have fun when I go on the house OC House trips, but this guys, I literally been laughing the entire time. So much fun. Really had a good time. And it was the first time where I sat on the stage for the.

[B]

Well, I disagree. I don't think you always have fun and cast trips because I think you've left early before.

[F]

Okay. Well, yeah, London wasn't so great.

[B]

Yeah. And I'm sure if we went back, you know, 12 seasons, I'm sure that there were other times where you weren't happy. Was thinking this morning, I was thinking this morning, I feel like truly everyone. All the chumps, really. Even Patrique. We do like each other. Right. We even like Patrique some, you know, sometimes. But I feel like that's the difference between some of these other Bravo shows where the producers are Casting these people. And, you know, I'm casting people basically. And if you don't get along with the other chumps or you don't get along with me, you're unchumped. So we always. I feel like we have a very good, strong network of people that really do enjoy spending time together.

[D]

I totally agree.

[B]

And I think that's the. That is the distinct difference between this show and every other show on Bravo.

[F]

Okay, well, I will tell you, Real Housewives of Orange county, we are having fun. We're, you know.

[B]

Yeah. Until you don't. What episode are you in? Episode six. You're in the middle of shooting. Yeah. I give you two more eps.

[C]

It was. It was sweet last night. We all got back to the house and we were all just sitting at the big table. Did a rose and thorn a la Luan.

[F]

Oh, my gosh. That's.

[C]

And that was really sweet.

[D]

That took two hours.

[F]

But Doug also was kind enough to give out as gifts chump slippers and chump sleep masks.

[B]

Yeah, that was very thoughtful.

[F]

I love it. I. I packed them.

[D]

Those are. That. Those are bringing them out. All guests at the Chumpy and be get those slippers.

[F]

Oh, they do.

[C]

Okay.

[F]

Well, since I will never be staying

[D]

there, I'm glad that exactly got to experience them.

[B]

Now, last night event, I think, was epic. I mean, we had an incredible pre show with Todd and actually we have a new promo today, which is basically. Is that just a recording of what? Of their performance last night?

[C]

Pretty much. Yes. Pretty much what it is. It's going to be really fun.

[B]

Really, really good. Now, I. For those of you, you know, you've. I get your DMs, you know, why did you give La Kendra a second chance? Blah, blah, blah. I'm telling you, she. She really showed up yesterday. She was the fourth person. So it was Patrick and Paul.

[E]

Yep.

[B]

It was Todd. And then Lakendra.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

She was not only on time, she was early.

[E]

She beat us.

[B]

She beat us there.

[C]

They were actually going to be my rose, but someone had already picked them. But I really thought they were just such a great way to start the show.

[F]

Yeah, it was great.

[B]

Of all the people that were there when we went around the table, I did calculate most people's thorn were Patrick and Paul.

[C]

100. It was out of control from the moment we met them at the airport.

[D]

Airport. And on the end on the plan Lane.

[B]

All right, so why don't we back it up first? So we went out of Burbank Airport, which is not the most glamorous airport in the world, but it's the easiest

[D]

airport in the world, and it's very close.

[B]

And so you know it. You're not there. There's not any fancy lounges or restaurants or bars or shopping. You just. You roll in, you get on your flight, and you leave immediately. And that's what's so great about Burbank. Now, we did all fly first class, and Patrick and Paul were aware of that, but they were very upset. There was no lounge.

[E]

I know, but also, like, it's burping that. That's the point. The airport is allowed in, like, six seconds.

[C]

His point was, I know it's a lot of Southwest flights out of this airport, but we're flying American, and how can American not have a lounge? And then he said, look, see, they're building a new terminal, and even that won't have a lounge. I was like, okay.

[B]

Very, very fixated on the. No lounge.

[C]

Very fixated.

[E]

There is a lounge at Phoenix.

[D]

Yes, of course.

[B]

They were doing. What were they doing? Were they doing tiktoks? What were they. Todd said that poll from the airport, and it was very loud and very much, very disruptive to the rest of the airline passengers. Todd was so embarrassed that he went and sat on in a different area. He actually came to me and said that they were doing. I was walking down to the gate, and he said, oh, God, they're doing Tick tocks lives. It's so loud. Stay away, stay away. So we ended up finding a little hamburger place.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

And we just stayed there to the very last minute.

[H]

Mm.

[E]

But when we were at the hamburger place, we were all crowding around this bar, and we met this nice guy who was talking to us. He offered me a seat. I was like, no, I'm good. So we were chit chatting. Jeff was like, where are you going? He said, I'm going home to Pittsburgh. We're like, oh, that's so. That's nice. We're going to Phoenix. Is like, great.

[B]

No, no, no. I told him, phoenix first.

[E]

You're right.

[B]

So it was one of these really long tables where everybody kind of sits

[D]

next to each other, like a communal.

[B]

And he kept saying. He's like, why are people filming you? What's going on? And then I explained to him. He goes, oh, yeah, my. My wife used to watch the show or whatever. And he goes, where you going? I go, phoenix. And, you know, maybe he initiated. So, yes, I started talking. I started talking, but you initiated it. But then I could tell he was. He regretted talking to me because Then I wouldn't shut up.

[D]

That happens.

[B]

So then I go, where are you going? He goes, pittsburgh. Okay, cut to when I'm on the plane. He walks on the flight with his head down and trying to pretend like I don't see him. He doesn't want to talk to me anymore.

[D]

He lied.

[E]

I was like, hey, friend, he might

[G]

be connecting to Pittsburgh.

[F]

Oh, Phoenix is a hub.

[E]

But then why didn't he say, oh, he would have gone to Phoenix. I'm on your flight.

[C]

My lay. I have a layover.

[D]

Connecting.

[G]

He didn't want to talk to me.

[B]

And then he's like, check please.

[C]

Literally.

[B]

And then I don't think that check could come fast enough for him. Cuz I had a lot to say.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

I had a lot to talk about. And yes, I scared him away. And then the one on the right, the girl on the right. What are you watching? I go, is that Survivor? She's like, yeah. She was so annoyed with me. But then all a sudden, we had two empty seats.

[E]

Yeah, thank you for doing that.

[B]

She was watching Survivor.

[E]

It's good.

[B]

So then we get on the flight.

[C]

Wait, no, no, we're not on the flight yet.

[B]

Okay, keep going.

[C]

So then we're in the terminal. You're getting your burgers. While you're having your burgers, we arrive. Doug and I sit, like, right outside the gate. We're sitting across from Paul and Patrick. And Patrick looks at me and he goes, hey, did you hear about that plane crash?

[B]

In full voice.

[D]

Full voice. Everyone at gate.

[C]

I was like, quiet. He's like, are you serious? I was, yes, I'm serious.

[D]

And then he goes, how many people died in that plane crash?

[C]

Like, he's like, I'm just curious.

[F]

Okay, well, we're about to get on a plane.

[C]

Do we need to bring it up? That was the whole point.

[D]

Not good. Then we get on the plane.

[B]

Then we get on the plane, we have a nice gay flight attendant who's loud.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

And then we have another flight attendant, a female. Not very nice. Not very nice.

[C]

She meant business. And as a corporate Connie, I appreciated her, actually.

[E]

She was a gay with a clipboard.

[C]

She was.

[B]

So we were taxing for a second. I fell asleep, and then all of a sudden I wake up to these loud voices, which is the gay flight attendant. And Patrick, of course. And so now I'm. I woke up and then I notice something's going on because I could see these little, like, things flying in the air. And it turned out that Patrick was

[E]

clipping his fingernails, Paul was clipping fingernails on the plane.

[C]

Disgusting.

[F]

And he said, holding them in his hand.

[B]

Then Paul started painting his nails and then drying them on the little air vent. Little air vent above. Drying them so we could all smell the nail polish.

[C]

You missed during takeoff when we started ascending and all of a sudden nail polish started rolling down the aisle that Todd's feet.

[D]

It was from Marshall's. And Todd holds up this bottle. He goes, who's got nail polish from Marshalls? And he's holding this.

[B]

And then there was someone in front of us that we weren't. We weren't sure.

[D]

You weren't. I was sure.

[E]

I'm sure.

[C]

Sure.

[D]

It was a lovely.

[B]

I wasn't sure of the gender.

[C]

I was sure we were all short.

[B]

I was confused. And so was Todd.

[D]

She had on Birkenstocks and a lovely petticoat.

[B]

He had on Birkenstocks.

[D]

And I asked her if that was her nail polish. And she said, no, no, no.

[C]

We all knew except for you and Todd. The common denominator here is Lewis.

[G]

I didn't see them.

[C]

Good job, Annie.

[B]

We don't know if they. We don't know if that person identifies as them. We don't know.

[C]

And it's not our business. So we'll never know.

[D]

So she had a lovely bag flight.

[C]

We'll never know. Not our business.

[B]

It wasn't his nail polish.

[C]

Theirs.

[G]

Why didn't you ask?

[B]

I think Todd did.

[D]

I. No, I asked her. I said, is this your nail polish?

[B]

And she said, what did he say?

[D]

She said, But then what happened is we hear very distressed.

[B]

Doug got triggered.

[E]

Well, yeah, Doug, you started it. Because when we sat down, you pointed out to the flight attendant, my. My seat back pouch is very dirty. She's like, what do you want me to do?

[D]

Well, I just didn't want them to think it was me. I wasn't asking. That's.

[B]

You were complaining. You were complaining. You were being a Karen dirty.

[F]

Where there stomp.

[D]

There was stuff from the previous food and refuse and goes back and forth all day long.

[B]

It's a bus, basically. A bus.

[C]

I was sitting there in the woods. Woman's. She could see I had like a Clorox wipe. Thank you, Doug.

[D]

You're welcome.

[C]

She's like, oh, do you want me to take that Clorox wipe? I said, yes. And Doug's like, excuse me, my seat's dirty. I arrived to a dirty seat.

[D]

And then I said to Jameson, you know what? I'm looking forward to an icy diet. He did as I said, icy diet Coke. Ladies and gentlemen, this is your gay flight attendant. Good news and bad news. Good news, we're taking off on time. Bad news, there's no catering, so there's no ice. And I have a limited number of beverages. And I. That's when I took out my phone

[B]

and he wrote a tier one letter right there on the spot before you

[C]

even got your drink.

[D]

The minute he said it, I was like, I'm writing.

[C]

Did they reply?

[D]

No, not yet.

[F]

Did you check?

[B]

No, but he has this whole plan about 5,000. What are we talking about? Last night.

[D]

They're gonna.

[F]

He wants loyalty points, not. What's different?

[D]

Well, the difference is loyalty points. Keep your status at miles. I have plenty of miles. I want the points now. We. The year just started over.

[B]

So you're hoping with your tier one letter, they're going to offer you points, then you're going to negotiate.

[D]

No, they're going to say, we're going to give you miles.

[B]

And I said, and you're going to negotiate for points?

[D]

Yeah, I'm okay. I'm over. I help.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And I got to say, that flight attendant really tried to sell. He's like, great news.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

We're going to ride nine minutes early.

[C]

Not only did we take off on time, I don't need a drink early. We're getting there. He got a really long speech, and there's no ice baker.

[D]

And then Kian wasn't that bad.

[G]

And then that there's no ice and no food.

[E]

Then it worked on me. I was happy. We're on time. I was truly, my biggest stressor of the day was like, what if we're not on time in our show?

[B]

But did you hear Keyan and Todd?

[E]

No.

[B]

So when the flight attendant came around, Keon's like, yeah, like, you know, whatever. You know, Diet Coke with ice. And then Todd was like, hi, can I please get extra ice? So then they just kept fucking with him.

[D]

Now you wonder why the female flight attendant yelled at Keyan.

[C]

Okay, well, we gotta get to that, too.

[F]

So what did. When they said, I have extra ice.

[C]

Such a ball bus.

[E]

Todd.

[F]

Todd is funny. I didn't realize how funny Todd was.

[C]

I can't.

[B]

Really funny.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

But we're ascending still and we're waiting for the light. What are we waiting?

[D]

We hadn't fasten your seat. Bell still on. And Kean stood up and kneeled by Jeff and the flight. Talk about work. The flight attendant made a speech and said, ladies and gentlemen, and the person in 2A, the fasten seatbelt sign is still on. Please, I need all passengers to go back to their seats. The only person who wasn't in their seat was Kian. Kian remained where he was, and then the female flight attendant came up the

[B]

aisle and served him.

[D]

Did you hear my speech? No standing during service, the lights on. I mean, she was.

[B]

It wasn't that bad, but it was bad.

[F]

I loved it.

[B]

She was rude.

[C]

I loved it. Think of what these flight attendants are dealing with. She just, just started. She set a boundary and she commanded 70 minute flight.

[B]

You could be a flight attendant. You actually look like one with scarf.

[D]

I was in three.

[F]

Oh, I was in three.

[D]

Charlie. Three Alpha.

[C]

Four.

[D]

We were four.

[C]

Four. I was four.

[D]

D. Oh, Charlie Delta. We were Charlie.

[B]

I don't even know you were three. I just follow Shane. Literally, I don't even know what row we were in.

[C]

I admired her for, for. For putting her foot.

[F]

She did her job.

[C]

She absolutely did her job. And if something went wrong and Keen bumped his head or whatever, then they'd go to those flight attendants. Like, why didn't you have control of your cabin? So good for her.

[E]

She controlled key.

[B]

She did. I. Shane, I know that when you sent these group emails, texts, whatever, you were very clear about the itinerary and also instructions. Now, you told us, all of us, that we are not to check any luggage.

[E]

Yes, we did.

[B]

And in fact, we had pre planned because Liz was on an earlier flight to check in the smoke machine, the laser pointers and all the wen bags.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

So that's our packing list. So we get on the plane and then what does Todd tell you?

[E]

Todd? Well, Todd just has a backpack. And I was like, wow. Like Todd packed really light. And he's like, no, I had to check my bag. And I was like, we worked so hard to get this smoke machine.

[F]

Why did he. He left early.

[E]

He brought it to. He brought it over and then I packed it and then we put it in an Uber to Liz all of these things ahead of time so she could check bag. We didn't have time. Like, we worked so hard specifically for Todd not to have to check a

[B]

bag so we wouldn't have to wait so that way we could get a

[G]

garment bag for his costume changes. And then he never did the costume.

[B]

He never did the costume.

[F]

I know.

[D]

I can't fit suits in a suitcase.

[E]

Literally a garment you could carry that

[G]

fit as a carry on. And he was like, you don't know what's in it.

[B]

So then to pass the time, because we're all sitting and waiting at baggage claim. Baggage claim 3. Waiting for Todd's luggage.

[C]

Sorry, Carney.

[B]

He logs on to skyharbor.com which is the name of the airport, and he starts paging people. Are you aware of this?

[C]

Stop it. He is such a ballpark.

[B]

Hugh Jordan, Hugh Janus, Ivana Jizzing you. Mike Latoris and Jenna Talia.

[C]

Did you hear that over the loudspeaker?

[B]

No, because we left before they started paging the names.

[D]

I think it filters it into the system.

[C]

Do you do it like through a thing?

[B]

Yes. You type it in.

[C]

Oh my God.

[D]

It's like picking a song on a jukebox. You don't know when it's gonna come up.

[C]

Unbelievable. And then he left before all of us. Anyway. He was here the least amount of time.

[F]

Yeah, that's funny.

[B]

So what's going to happen? I mean is Liz here today? Is she here?

[E]

She's kind of. Come here.

[B]

Okay, so what's going to happen with the. We have to check on the way home. I know because we have the smoke machine and the laser pointers which by the way really worked.

[F]

There are people driving. You could maybe put it in the production.

[C]

Oh, that's a good idea.

[B]

You are so smart. Idea genius.

[E]

Wait, why? We'll make it.

[B]

Michael. Problem.

[E]

Why did we do all that drama to get it here? Wait, we should have just asked them.

[B]

We didn't know what? Cuz no one ever thought about it.

[E]

I didn't think about production.

[B]

They left Wednesday. They could left at the house.

[E]

That would have been great.

[D]

Oh wow.

[B]

God, we're stupid.

[E]

I didn't know they were driving next year.

[C]

Can we mention that the my first cast trip the cruise, the film cruise here today. And they were here yesterday too. It was really fun.

[F]

Super fun.

[B]

I just can't believe not one of us thought of that.

[G]

And they were at their hometown. They watched us struggle.

[B]

I know, but they're supposed to be just kind of observing like fly on the wall. They're probably like look this. They probably. They're pro. It's probably a joke amongst them.

[E]

They're probably proud of us.

[B]

Not one of those dopes about to put it in our van.

[C]

We needed a camera on Liz.

[B]

I paid 150 because it was overweight.

[E]

So overweight she had to check three bags. Todd. Well, this is what we did. Todd brought it to stake 48 and then I took it home and then packed it at Jeff's house and ubered it to list. So they should actually be proud and impressed.

[D]

And you know, some of the liquid smoke apparently leaked.

[C]

And by the way Everything that was in that tub of lasers and whatever projector. That's all what bombs are made out of. So. I can't believe it went through with no issue.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Like the wires and the metal.

[B]

It was so worth it, though, because of that stand up live venue. We had a smaller stage, really filled with smoke.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Very concentrated. It was good.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

That's why we're going improv. It was. That was such a big stage.

[E]

If you couldn't see, it was just all blowing.

[B]

I love the laser lasers.

[C]

This time we're projecting onto the stage, whereas last time the lasers were on the stage, projecting out to the audience.

[D]

It was a much deeper venue so that it didn't sell. But this space is very shallow. It was. We were watching on a monitor.

[F]

Yeah, it was good.

[B]

It was like the super bowl halftime show.

[D]

It really was.

[B]

It was incredible.

[C]

Poor Liz was regaling us with the story of checking in the. That tub because she brought it. She somehow managed to get.

[B]

I told you to tape it. It. I said, you need to tape it.

[E]

I didn't hear you say that.

[C]

They're like, you have to tape this. They helped her, which is very kind of them. They don't have to help you. So they helped her tape it. And then when she got to the. So at Phoenix, it's not a driveway. It's like a pebble driveway. So she couldn't even, like, drag it. Poor thing. She really. She earned her.

[D]

Good job.

[H]

Good job, Liz.

[B]

No, I do have a question for Annie. On the way to the airport, right after we spoke to Beverly D' Angelo on FaceTime, who has serious FOMO, we were listening to a voicemail you got from a guy that you gave him his number.

[G]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Or you gave him your number at karaoke.

[G]

Yeah, I was at a bar for karaoke that I go to every Tuesday. And he was like, what's going on? I told him I'm a pop star. And so then he took a selfie with me. And then he sent me this voice memo. And it was like you were in your pink outfit with your pink skirt,

[B]

that you had pink underwear, that you

[G]

had pink panties on. Do you want to see my pink finger?

[B]

Can you believe that? That's the first.

[E]

That was his opening line.

[D]

Why'd you give him your number, though?

[E]

That's what I said.

[G]

I panicked. In the future, I won't. I should get. And he was like, let's go to Mel's Diner. I'm like, ew, I don't want to go there.

[C]

I also thought it was.

[E]

We got a norm.

[C]

Yeah, I thought it was stingy. He only offered one finger. I mean, come on, dude, like show up.

[B]

You wanted more than one finger.

[C]

Of course. Do they have.

[F]

Do they have after music at your Tuesday night karaoke?

[G]

They will now.

[F]

Okay.

[B]

I mean, what world does this guy think you're going to call him back?

[G]

I'm not.

[B]

No.

[E]

I know.

[B]

It's so creepy.

[G]

And then he sent me a voice

[E]

memo that feels stalker, but also like you probably like, it's just strange to open with that. Like you. He probably would get a fake number. What if it was some random person?

[G]

He thinks I'm a prostitute. Like why would he say that?

[D]

Maybe you.

[C]

I don't want to be gross, but I think he was jacking off while he left that message. I think he's a pervert. Why would he leave such a weird message?

[B]

You think so?

[C]

That's what I think. I do.

[B]

I think dates before you can introduce the pink finger.

[F]

I. What is the topic right now that

[D]

now that guy has.

[G]

It depends on the guy.

[B]

Now we had a strict, strict, strict no dog policy at the Airbnb. I know Snow white and a 210 is there. And you know they. Apparently she's not housebroken because we had a little accident last night. We're in the green room.

[D]

In the green room.

[B]

And Annie, you were sitting on the sofa. The dog was.

[G]

Peed on my dress right before we like went on stage.

[B]

Urinated right on the sofa and on the floor.

[D]

And for such a little dog.

[F]

It was a lot.

[D]

She holds a lot of liquid.

[F]

It was a lot.

[B]

They must not have taken her out for hours.

[C]

Wait, this is. This is the audio.

[F]

Oh my God.

[B]

You're blaming me.

[E]

You put her there.

[D]

And you had a beautiful dress on that was a black and like the

[G]

fabric didn't show the pee.

[E]

It was pee color.

[B]

You were right there, Shannon.

[F]

I was sitting next to it.

[B]

Cuz Annie was in between you and me.

[F]

By the way, a little bit got on you too, Jeff.

[B]

Yes, I know.

[D]

And then, and then Jeff was like, doug, come here, sit down. And I was wearing new pants. But I didn't sit.

[B]

I know A little got on me too. Did you get any on you?

[F]

No, no, I was fine.

[G]

Oh wow.

[B]

Oh God.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

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[I]

I'm Kristen Doughty.

[E]

And I'm Luke Broderick. You might know us from Bravo's the Valley. We're hosts of the Balancing act podcast.

[C]

Us.

[I]

We're gathered here today to get through this thing called life. Luke and I know we are all out here doing our best to balance life, love, work, play, family, friends, downfalls, and dreams. Life is full of ups and downs, and adulting can be hard.

[E]

We are still here to get real from both female and male perspective, from

[B]

very different walks of life, unfiltered and vulnerable.

[I]

Like Dr. Sue says, be sure when you step, step with care and great tact. And remember that life's a great balancing act.

[G]

Act.

[I]

Listen to Balancing act wherever you get your podcast.

[B]

Doug, please explain why did I hear you talking to Siri this morning? This is exactly what you said. Siri, what is it called when someone goes to a rest stop for a bj?

[D]

Why are you. Why do you.

[B]

Why would you ask Siri that?

[D]

Wait, wait. Why do you feel the need to pull that out of context? Because what happened right before that is. We were talking about. I don't know how this part came up. We were talking about there are rest. There's a term for people who go to rest stops to get blowjobs, and it's not a glory hole. There's a different term. I did not know this term, so I asked my phone to.

[F]

Well, why was that in your head?

[D]

Well, we were all told.

[B]

He's like, what do people call me?

[D]

And as it turns out, the term is cottaging.

[B]

Cottaging?

[D]

Yes.

[C]

Cottage.

[B]

I've never heard that word.

[D]

It's an English term, apparently. Or for English B, bathrooms. But that's why I asked my. I. I got nervous because I was talking to my series.

[C]

Cottage is a gay slang term originated from the United Kingdom, referring to anonymous sex between men in a public bathroom.

[D]

Yeah, that's exactly what I found out.

[C]

Shout out.

[B]

You are a good actor. I had no idea what that term was.

[E]

Dog just came from the cottage.

[D]

I didn't. We learned. We learned all kinds of. Yesterday, we talked about boilerplate. Like, I loved. I love to find out the history behind terms and things that we use every day.

[C]

What was the other good acting that drove you crazy, Jeff, yesterday?

[B]

Oh, my God, you're so full of Doug.

[D]

Now what?

[B]

All right, we played a new game at The Phoenix.

[D]

You're wrong about that.

[B]

Last night. And it was very fun. It was called Hot to go Hot seat with the Wheel of Misfortune. So we had this digital wheel. So I asked a question, and we had all the names of the people on stage, plus Patrick and pull her in the audience. Audience. And the wheel would stop on a name.

[D]

And it was. It was a question like, who acts richer than they are or who's the worst at this? You know, there was very polarizing questions

[B]

at the end of the night. I just. I was like, guys, that was such a good game. That was so fun. And then Doug, out of nowhere. I mean, I love that my name was ever picked.

[D]

I did.

[B]

And I go, okay, Doug. I. I mean, I was just so happy my name wasn't picked.

[C]

Some of us got picked twice. Some of us.

[F]

I had two.

[D]

Those are the kinds of questions that make me uncomfortable because it's like you're being asked to throw shade at somebody, and I don't like those kinds of questions. So I was very happy. The lie detector determined that was a lie.

[E]

That's it.

[B]

I did like the game. You. You ran. What was that game we played?

[D]

Is this real for real? And that was. You know, we usually have some kind of trivia component at these shows, and we. We have really good prizes, so we wanted to have something that would allow the audience to have prizes. So this was sort of our new Jeff Lewis Live spin on trivia.

[B]

I did too.

[D]

Where we would give a chump scenario and the audience would have to say if it was real for real or made up.

[B]

Shaney, you have to give a shout out to our new Phoenix makeup artist.

[E]

Oh, my God. Shout out.

[B]

He was so good. He fixed Shannon's makeup.

[D]

He did such a good job off a belt sandwich.

[C]

Okay.

[F]

Goes. I had my makeup done at, like, 8 in the morning.

[B]

You were misgendered so that I.

[F]

So that it would look good on stage. A little heavy.

[E]

She was wearing. That was the whole thing. So she was wearing stage makeup at. In Casual.

[B]

If anyone's ever been to a crack show. What Shannon looked like.

[D]

He was so nice.

[C]

He.

[D]

He told me he didn't have to do anything with me.

[G]

I said he couldn't do anything to help.

[D]

He did not. Did not. Annie.

[B]

It's kind of strange because we all got a little powder, but Doug, he said, you're.

[D]

He said, you're good to go. And then at the end when we were all taking pictures on the stage, he was taking. He was helping.

[F]

He was so nice. Yeah, yeah. He's so that. Because Doug was, like, holding up the line with all his chit chat.

[D]

No, I wasn't.

[B]

So. But Zach did a great job. He really, really turned it around for you. You look great last night.

[E]

Fantastic.

[G]

She tried to sleep in her makeup.

[C]

No.

[F]

Okay. I said, said. I said, I wonder if some of my castmates will sleep in their makeup and then they'll look great in the morning.

[G]

But I said, that's disgusting.

[F]

Well, I, I. And I washed my face and I'm proud of you.

[B]

Did you do your makeup today?

[F]

Yeah, I did.

[B]

No, it's not horrible.

[F]

It's not heavy like it was yesterday. You know what? I was just trying to look good on stage.

[B]

Jeff, you did look good.

[F]

Thank you.

[B]

Now we do have to talk about Doug's pants. So he got a brand new pair of pants.

[D]

I'm wearing them today.

[B]

And literally the pockets hit the calves.

[E]

Wait, stand up.

[F]

Wait, what?

[D]

You saw my calves yesterday? Look at.

[B]

Turn around, turn around.

[D]

How these fit.

[B]

Looks like he has a big load in his pants.

[E]

Look at that.

[B]

It's terrible. Those are brand new pants.

[D]

These are brand new.

[E]

They need to be tailored or something.

[B]

So, you know, what are they? You know what he did this morning? He did this for me. He had shorts on and a T shirt. I said, tuck in your shirt. Let me just see what it looks like. He's like, I have a belly. I have a belly. Doug does not have a belly.

[E]

Wow.

[D]

He does not have a belly and one big belly.

[B]

No, you're. You're wide, but you're not deep. You know what I'm saying?

[D]

You're.

[B]

You're.

[E]

We know.

[B]

So you could tuck in your shirt and it looks really good. You would be tucking your shirt. Tuck in your shirt. But you need.

[E]

You need pants that pull up your pants. Yeah.

[B]

I think you need tighter pants.

[C]

Yeah. I think the problem is, look at that.

[B]

He's not fat.

[C]

No. And you said you don't have a butt.

[D]

I don't have a butt.

[F]

You are very thin.

[B]

No, no, I wouldn't say that. I wouldn't go that far. But you know what? You're not fat at all.

[D]

Thank you.

[B]

You're wide.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Like if you take two grown men and put them together.

[C]

I think the problem is, is one, you don't have a butt. And two, you wear your pants low. So it really, I think, accentuates the bagginess of your.

[D]

I think my stomach pushes my pants down. That's what I think.

[B]

No, it doesn't.

[F]

Sometimes you should wear Things that are a little tighter. Because I thought your belly was bigger than it.

[C]

Really?

[B]

I know.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's not.

[E]

That was really eye opening.

[C]

It's a compliment, Doug. It's a compliment.

[B]

You've got to protect your shirt.

[F]

And you need to.

[D]

Did show leg. I showed leg.

[F]

Tired at the house.

[D]

I'm okay with my legs.

[B]

Oh, you need some that chastine bronzer on your legs.

[D]

Really? No.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

You know who needs chazine bronzer? Keyan in that tank top.

[B]

Oh, God. Thank God he changed you guys.

[F]

And I thought you made him change so he did it on.

[E]

No, he felt insecure.

[C]

Everyone got into their pajamas.

[D]

When we got home, we all got undressed.

[C]

King came down in his sweatpants and then a tank top, very tight.

[B]

Weird.

[C]

And then everyone immediately shamed him. Ew. Pale.

[F]

He's just looking through the window.

[E]

And then his arms looked great.

[F]

Clearly works out.

[B]

He needs a tan, though.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

I actually think Doug's legs are paler than.

[B]

I think so, too.

[C]

Yes, I do too.

[B]

I've never seen your legs.

[D]

I think I have nice legs.

[F]

Hey, you do.

[C]

Can I say, for this group, it's interesting to see people's arms and legs. We don't usually see each other's legs because we're seeing each other in more of like a formal setting. Like, you wouldn't necessarily wear shorts to the studio. We've seen Shannon's legs. We've seen her in a dress, but yes. So it's interesting to see people's skin.

[D]

I've seen all of Shannon.

[G]

Seen it all.

[D]

I've seen all of Shannon.

[B]

So Keon was telling me last night that this chump walked up to him and she's like, I hear you like MILFs. Do you like Gils? I got a five year old grandson.

[D]

Yeah, I know who that is, too.

[C]

What's the answer, Kian? We're looking at Kean through the glass.

[F]

Oh, Gil, is that grandmother?

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Finally get to me.

[D]

God.

[B]

Now we have. Oh, we should take this call real quick. Michael in Phoenix. Hi, Michael.

[E]

Good morning.

[H]

Oh, my gosh. Hi.

[B]

Hey, what's up, Michael?

[H]

I'm hungover, but we're doing great.

[F]

Were you at the show?

[H]

I was at the show. You guys are all so nice. My friend and I came from Salt Lake City. Lauren. Michael and Lauren here.

[D]

We know Michael with the big baby, right?

[H]

Two babies.

[C]

Two babies. Yes. Two babies. Yeah.

[F]

Twins.

[B]

How was. So what was. I heard something was traumatizing for you last night. What was it?

[H]

There were a few things. There were a few Things. Well, first of all, for me specifically, we ran into the Kendra. She was so, so pretty and so nice. And then we were, of course, taking pictures, and my nipples were hard all night. Like, I kept having to, like, make them not poke out. And I said that. And she was like. And she was like, why? And then she pulled her. She pulled her dress down, and I saw her one titty.

[C]

Wow. Was it the prosthetic or the real thing?

[B]

Yeah. Did she have real nipples on or the prosthetic nipples?

[H]

It was. Yeah, it was the pasty, so it wasn't like, real deal. So we got our money's worth. It was great.

[B]

Now, you know that during the show, she went back to the green room with Baby Chump.

[D]

No.

[G]

What'd they do in there?

[B]

I don't know.

[E]

On the pee couch now.

[B]

Baby Chump. By the way, it was so funny last night because we called him out. I didn't know that. You know, we. I saw him at the VVIP event, and we called him out, and then he just took it upon himself to walk on the stage and wave to everybody.

[D]

This is a real honor.

[C]

So he looks so sweet, and his mother is. Is just an absolute delight. But I want. I was like, saying, like, stand up, stand up. But it looked like I was saying, come here, come here. And he was just a big smile.

[D]

He's right up on the stage.

[F]

And then Jeff goes, you can go now.

[C]

You can get off the stage.

[B]

You know he still hasn't graduated yet, right?

[E]

I heard that.

[B]

Next month he's still a few credits shy. We found out Patrique never graduated.

[C]

Wait, should we say. Should we say bye to Michael?

[B]

Oh, bye, Michael. Thank you so much for your.

[D]

It was great to meet you.

[E]

Michael Patrick didn't graduate college.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

He said he was a few credits shy.

[F]

Which means. Which means like a year. Yeah.

[G]

Without graduating.

[H]

Right.

[B]

He said he was three credits behind. Why wouldn't you just finish. You would finish it if you were that close.

[E]

That's like one course.

[D]

He should just sign up for that course at Harvard. Yeah. And then he could have graduated.

[E]

Then he could be graduated from Harvard.

[F]

Well, he could.

[D]

Michael took the course.

[F]

Take over the house on 21st and Camelback.

[B]

No, it's Scottsdale.

[F]

No, that's the office.

[B]

That's 21st in Campbell. You're right. That's the office.

[G]

Yeah.

[F]

Camelback is where the home.

[B]

Every time we got in the van, every single time, they would tell us we had a house on Scottsdale in 68th. And then we had a house on Scottsdale in 86. Those are the office. No, no, the office is 21st and Camelback.

[F]

No, the Camelback is where the homes are. 86th Street, 21st street and Camel.

[B]

Here's the problem.

[E]

You're right.

[B]

One of them. Its poll confuses the streets. Well, they'll be here knows which streets. So I. I think that's why you thought it was Scottsdale and 68th. Right.

[F]

That's. That's the office. And then the Wells Fargo is on McDowell in Scottsdale.

[B]

How do you know that?

[E]

They pointed it out.

[D]

Shannon is doing a showing at Wells

[B]

Fargo every time we're in the van.

[F]

We had to know why. But why did we need to know that the. On the other side of the mountain.

[E]

We were going to bring cash for Doug for his date.

[D]

And look at that. You didn't need it.

[B]

The guy did not show.

[F]

Well, there's still time.

[D]

We are.

[E]

You're not on the second, are you? You're free from 10 to 12.

[D]

Oh, okay, great.

[B]

Do we have enough cash?

[D]

Shut up.

[E]

You have to go to make two blogs?

[B]

No, because I tipped people. I think we only have like 500 bucks. That's not. That's not going to get.

[D]

Shut up.

[B]

That won't even get him a lick. Okay, okay.

[F]

I might have to cut out a little early because you've got a flight. No, I'm not gonna go now.

[B]

No, it's 9:48.

[D]

You go. We're gonna take a break.

[B]

All right. Should we say goodbye to Shannon?

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Thank you so much for coming with us.

[F]

We had such a nice time having me. Can't wait. I want to do it again.

[G]

I love you, Rooney.

[B]

Love you, Chomp. Let's take lane one.

[F]

Okay.

[E]

Hey, Emma.

[F]

Hey.

[H]

Shout out Shane. My question is, why do we keep inviting Patrick and pool on these vacations? Because they just cause drama and stress for the rest of group. I don't understand. You can invite Ryan Bailey and he could do the impressions of them instead.

[B]

Because we like stress, drama and grief.

[E]

I think.

[B]

I think that's why we invite them. They are incredibly entertaining. I know they're annoying as well, but they are incredibly entertaining and they are nice guys.

[E]

Except for the nails. That was the one thing that.

[C]

Yeah, that was cutting.

[B]

Yeah. You know, the entitlement is. That needs to kind of. They need to get that in check.

[E]

Yes, I have something to bring up with them.

[B]

Keep going.

[E]

When.

[D]

When they.

[E]

When we're boarding the plane. Paul just abandoned his. No, Patrick just abandoned his husband. And Paul was just back at the airport and they couldn't find his ticket. And Patrick was in front of us.

[D]

Really?

[E]

I was like, first on the plane.

[G]

Oh, what?

[B]

Oh, I. Yes, I made. I made note of that. It's so weird. It's like I wouldn't even board without you. You know what I'm saying? Or Annie or whatever. That's true. It would be like home alone.

[D]

Shane had your eyes.

[B]

I would go to the wrong city.

[D]

I gave Shane your boarding pass, Jeff, specifically for that reason.

[B]

Thank you, Emma, for calling. But you're right. I thought it was so weird. So they said, you know, it's. You know, you can board group one or whatever it was. And Patrick just takes off, grabs his bag, takes off, off, leaves pole with his back, the dog, everything. And it kind of, you know, it's very telling. It was telling.

[G]

Me and Keon got humiliated because we all boarded with you guys, because we thought, oh, we're in that group. Key and scans. Please step out of line. You guys were. You guys are group five. You're not in this group. Step out of line. Had to step out. It was humiliating.

[C]

They were the first row of economy.

[B]

Yeah, well, because we had books. Every available seal.

[D]

And you were.

[B]

Because you were added later. That's why you and Kian were added later. So sorry about that. That nail polish was indeed. Pulls right.

[D]

Yeah. He's got that color nail polish. He has that color nail polish on now.

[E]

He used it Marshall's red Now.

[B]

Also, did you hear that Patrick was complaining in the airport and was comparing Burbank to a bus stop? And Port Authority is out of control,

[C]

and everyone can hear him. He's the loudest person on earth. He's like, not even. I knew everyone around us, hated us. And at one point, a woman. It was like a quiet moment.

[B]

Not us.

[C]

At one point, a woman came to sit, and I wanted to be like, babe, you don't want to sit here.

[D]

There's a reason.

[E]

Let me also open seats.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I was like, you do not want to sit here.

[B]

Yeah, it. Yeah. Todd was so embarrassed. He would even walk.

[C]

No, he was in the corner on the phone. He wouldn't even make eye contact with anyone.

[B]

Dougie.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

We are going to New York next week.

[D]

We are.

[B]

Your flight is Sunday.

[D]

Sunday.

[B]

Mine is Monday. Have you. Have you chosen your meal yet?

[D]

I did, but then I downgraded myself, so I'm not gonna have a Be able to select a meal.

[B]

This is very interesting because you normally fly business. Sometimes first, you actually prefer premium economy. Why is that?

[D]

I have not tried this premium economy yet. So this is the brand new configuration which we talked about out there is no more first class. So it's all business class, premium economy, econ. And I did not like that business class seat. It was a little sweet and I found it Claustrophobic. Phobic.

[B]

It's not wide enough for you.

[D]

You're facing. You're facing the window.

[B]

No, it's really narrow.

[D]

No foyer. And I'm wide. Got it.

[B]

Honestly, I wouldn't be comfortable in that seat.

[D]

Because you're fat.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

You're old and blind, mind.

[B]

Thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Jeff Lewis Live every weekday on SiriusXM as well as the Jeff Lewis Channel, exclusively on the SiriusXM. Applause.