Taylor Dayne & Reza Farahan: Permits & Checking In

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Jeff Lewis Has Issues – "Taylor Dayne & Reza Farahan: Permits & Checking In"

Date: March 27, 2026
Guests: Taylor Dayne, Reza Farahan
Host: Jeff Lewis

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Episode Overview

In this energetic and candid episode, Jeff Lewis is joined by singer Taylor Dayne and reality TV personality Reza Farahan. The trio dive into the ongoing headaches of home renovations, the nightmare of city permits, life on the road (and at sea) as a performer, and the quirks of relationships—from couple’s therapy check-ins to managing living arrangements. True to Jeff’s style, the episode is no-filter, quick-witted, and full of playful jabs, memorable one-liners, and authentic moments.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Taylor Dayne’s Renovation Woes

[02:34 – 11:00]

• Taylor describes her ongoing struggle with the city of Santa Barbara to get permits for her new home renovation.
• She’s been living in a rented guest house for over a year, never having moved into her own new place because of endless bureaucratic delays.
• There’s an amusing back-and-forth over real estate logistics, the cost of removing power lines, and the hardships of being at the mercy of “design review boards” and “structural corrections.”
  • Jeff: “You got shit to promote, dude.”
  • Taylor: “Who do you know and who do I have to blow? That’s how I feel.”
• Taylor reveals that, despite dating a contractor (Johnny “Pants”), things aren’t necessarily moving faster—her contractor boyfriend has set up camp in the half-built house:
  • Taylor: “Johnny already did a makeshift shower outside the house...He looks at the stars every night...I’m like, what about me?”
  • Jeff: “He’s not motivated. He is living his best life.”
• They discuss rent costs as a hidden expense of being stuck out-of-home and Jeff’s regret at not waiting for permits before moving.

2. Permit Bureaucracy & “Chump” Culture

[06:00, 22:56, 42:08]

• The conversation turns to the absurdity of city bureaucracy, confusion over property layout, and how friends and partners “make do” in the construction chaos.
• Reza shares his smoother experience thanks to a recommended architect, Jason—while Taylor is cursed with “nine corrections.”
  • Taylor: “I’m naive about everything. That’s why it’s fresh.”
• The group jokes about leveraging their collective fame to “cut the crap” at City Hall, suggesting they bring a camera crew for extra flair.
• Sandy, a retired building official, calls in ([41:04]) to give Taylor direct advice: “The squeaky wheel gets the lube...Somebody needs to be speed-dialing the building official every day. Be a thorn in their side.”
  • Jeff and Sandy also recommend hiring a permit expediter to break the logjam.

3. Life On the Road, Cruise Concerts & Catastrophes

[11:06 – 18:29]

• Taylor shares colorful stories from performing on 80s and “Old School” cruises: flying in and out, avoiding lengthy stays, and bringing friends along for comic relief.
  • Taylor: “My girlfriend, Celeste...More complaints, more BS from Celeste. Celeste, a constant.”
• Discussion about life on board ships: long buffet lines (“The omelet line is like 70 minutes long”), cruise logistics, and celebrity visibility among fans.
• The group compares cruise acts—Lisa Lisa, Expose, Color Me Badd, Morris Day—and revels in nostalgia for 80s and R&B hits.

4. Cat Ownership, House Guests, and Domestic Comedy

[19:05 – 26:17]

• Talk veers to who’s staying where, Taylor’s aversion to Jeff’s pet-filled house, and her own pet saga:
  • Taylor: “I gave [the cat] Lucy...to my daughter Astaria...Johnny’s like, ‘I’m allergic to her.’”
• Cat care is dissected in great detail—litter box standards, cat-made “biscuits,” and the need to “put a bra on” (a running gag about Taylor’s daughter).
• The friends swap accidental “wrong house” stories—Taylor once crashed a party at Les Moonves’ house by mistake, and Jeff recently walked into the wrong home during a holiday party.

5. Concerts, Gigs, and Bling

[33:35 – 36:59]

• Taylor lays out her upcoming tour dates, including Chicago (Apr 12), Ben Salem (Apr 17), Woonsocket (Apr 18), Atlantic City (May 2), the “sold-out Old School Cruise” (Apr 28–May 3), a private Nashville show, and Honolulu (May 6–7).
  • Jeff: “You work a lot to pay for that house you can’t live in.”
• Conversation meanders to jewelry, watches, and Hermès bags.
  • Jeff: “My stepmom just got [a Birkin] from Hermès for 15 grand. She could sell it online right now for 25.”
  • Reza: “Birkins and Kelly bags...outperform the stock market.”
• The panel jokes about jewelry, luxury investments, and prestige accessories.

6. Relationship “Check-Ins” and Personal Growth

[47:24 – 49:20]

• Reza and his partner have adopted a nightly check-in ritual—asking, “How can I make tomorrow even greater for you?”
  • Taylor (teasing): “Therapy, 100%. You know how I look you deeply in the eyes. They went to a couple's therapist before it broke apart.”
  • Jeff: “I don’t want to ask Ty because I don’t want to work on anything.”
• Jameson and Frank, show producers, also do nightly check-ins—Jeff is both impressed and mystified, joking he’d rather pour another glass of wine.
  • Taylor: “Less is more, less is more.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Taylor Dayne: "Money doesn't make you an asshole. But if you're an asshole and with a ton of money, you're gonna be a bigger asshole." ([01:11])
• Sandy (Retired Building Official): “The squeaky wheel gets the lube...Somebody needs to be speed-dialing the building official every day.” ([41:40])
• Jeff Lewis: "You got shit to promote, dude. We’d have you on every month." ([02:25])
• Taylor Dayne: "Who do you know and who do I have to blow? That’s how I feel. It is tough with permits." ([02:38])
• Reza Farahan: "Birkins and Kelly bags...They outperform the stock market." ([36:21])
• Jeff Lewis (re: negative feedback): “I think it’s funny when people react and get all crazy.” ([47:18])
• Taylor Dayne: "Less is more, Less is more." ([49:38])

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Important Timestamps

• 02:34 – 11:00: Taylor’s Santa Barbara construction/permit debacle
• 11:06 – 18:29: Cruise performances and logistics
• 19:05 – 26:17: Pet ownership, guest room banter, and the wrong house stories
• 33:35 – 36:59: Taylor’s tour dates and gig schedule
• 41:04 – 44:59: Call from Sandy: expert permitting advice
• 47:24 – 49:20: Relationship check-ins and couple's therapy discussion

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Tone & Style

• Language: Conversational, playful, and peppered with humor, teasing, and inside jokes.
• Dynamic: Quick-witted banter, friendly ribbing, open sharing about personal frustrations, and group storytelling.

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Takeaways for Listeners

• Home renovations—even for celebrities—are a bureaucratic gauntlet, with city permits posing major obstacles.
• There’s no escaping construction headaches, rent costs, or confusion over logistics—even dating a contractor can’t always help.
• Life on the road as a performer is equal parts fun and frustration; cruise gigs bring nostalgia and chaos.
• Relationship check-ins are trending—and effective communication (and humor) seem to be the group’s wellness strategy of choice.
• Practical advice: Be relentless (and maybe hire an expediter) to push your permits through local government.
• The episode is for anyone who loves candid, celebrity conversations about the unglamorous realities of home ownership, life on the road, and why sometimes “less is more.”

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Transcript

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[Jeff Lewis]

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[Narrator/Advertiser]

When you're Jeff Lewis, the drama never stops.

[Jeff Lewis]

They said that I am by far the most difficult talent that they're working with. You know, we could say we don't judge. I judge and I was judging.

[Taylor Dane]

Money doesn't make you an asshole. But if you're an asshole and with a ton of money, you're gonna be a bigger asshole.

[Jeff Lewis]

Why are you looking at me?

[Taylor Dane]

No, I didn't. I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to look in that direction.

[Jeff Lewis]

Right at me.

[Taylor Dane]

Jeff Lewis has issues.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hey, welcome to Jeff Lewis has issues. In today's episode, Taylor Dane and Reza Farahan join the show. We talk about building permits, cruise concerts and couple check ins. Good morning Taylor. Welcome back. She looks better every time we see her.

[Mitch]

Insane.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh my God.

[Reza Farahan]

I cannot believe I'm here with Taylor Dane.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know.

[Mitch]

He's so funny.

[Jeff Lewis]

Sweetest guy, before you got here, he goes, I'm not worthy. I'm not worthy.

[Taylor Dane]

He said all this nonsense. I am so pleased. Lovely to meet you.

[Jeff Lewis]

I try to keep it cool when she's here, but we grew up with you. Yes, right. But.

[Reza Farahan]

Oh my God, take it back.

[Jeff Lewis]

Take it down. Don't scare us.

[Taylor Dane]

Take it up.

[Jeff Lewis]

In fact I. We have. You know the Spotify. Is it Spotify that I have? What do I have where I can punch in Taylor Dane?

[Mitch]

Pandora.

[Taylor Dane]

Pandora.

[Jeff Lewis]

Pandora. So this morning I punched in Taylor Dane to get the mood. Yeah, it was fun.

[Taylor Dane]

I'm so Glad. Thank you.

[Jeff Lewis]

How long has it been since Taylor has been here?

[Taylor Dane]

Not that long. You've got me.

[Jameson]

November. She was here last.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's a long time, Taylor.

[Taylor Dane]

November.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. We'd have you on every month.

[Taylor Dane]

Jesus Christ.

[Jeff Lewis]

You got shit to promote, dude.

[Taylor Dane]

I do have shit to promote. But, like, I mean, think about it. Like, you know, I was gone for a month. Like, you know, I travel and tour.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know you do. Now, what's happening with our home in Santa Barbara?

[Taylor Dane]

Oh, Jesus Christ. Who do you know? Who do you know and who do I have to blow? That's how I feel. It is. Come on. It is tough with permits.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're still in the guest house.

[Taylor Dane]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

You know, he's about to do the same thing.

[Taylor Dane]

Really?

[Jeff Lewis]

He's gonna move from his main house to his guest house and remodel the main house.

[Taylor Dane]

He has a guest house at his main house? You see what I'm saying?

[Jeff Lewis]

Wait, is the guest house not in the.

[Taylor Dane]

No.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, who's guest house?

[Taylor Dane]

Originally, I was. I was in a guest house where I was on a main property, but now I'm. Now I. Like, that was two years and. But one year was just me deciding, and then I sold in la, and now I'm up there and I was in. It's over a year now.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wait, are you living in construction? I thought you were.

[Taylor Dane]

No, I'm in a little guest house.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's what I said.

[Mitch]

But not your guest house.

[Taylor Dane]

Not mine.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, it sucks. So you're not even on property?

[Taylor Dane]

No.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. But you.

[Taylor Dane]

But I went there to look at the sunset the other night, and then I said, who do I have to know? Who do I have to. Because I want to take down Edison, you know, is it. I used to think it was Con Edison, but it's not the power lines. It's just, you know, California Edison. There's a power line I want down. One in particular.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think it costs a lot of money.

[Reza Farahan]

It's like 50k or more.

[Jeff Lewis]

A couple hundred, I think.

[Taylor Dane]

No, no, no, no. Wrong to you.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. All right. It depends.

[Taylor Dane]

Right. To you, I think, for one line, one power line, and then you'll have

[Jeff Lewis]

just an unobstructed ocean view.

[Taylor Dane]

Ridiculous.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so how long has the house been under construction? How long you been out of the house?

[Taylor Dane]

I never went in it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Why didn't you? Because I've done this, too. Sometimes I think you should just move in, wait eight months for the permits, then move out.

[Taylor Dane]

There's a. There's a theme to that. But it was. It was a ship I mean, I'm doing them such a favor. Like, think about it. The house was built in the 70s, maybe had a. A touch of remodel in the 80s. It's been rental. I didn't even think of it that way. I thought I had a kush guest house and things would be rolling my way. Jeff. But look, they roll.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wait a minute.

[Taylor Dane]

So why on the river?

[Jeff Lewis]

Why are you not in your own guest house? Is that under construction, too?

[Taylor Dane]

No, there's no. There's no room for a guest house on my property.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, I thought you already had one.

[Taylor Dane]

I did. I was renting another one.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, I meant on the property.

[Taylor Dane]

I know, Jeff, you have a lot of. I understand.

[Jeff Lewis]

I have a lot of real estate questions, too.

[Taylor Dane]

Well, if you have a friend with a guest house or. Santa Barbara, let me move in.

[Jeff Lewis]

I thought you were dating a contractor. Did that end.

[Taylor Dane]

Oh, no, I'm still with Pants. I'm still with Johnny.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, well, what's.

[Taylor Dane]

Doing all right.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, what's taking so long? You're dating a. This is why you date a contractor.

[Taylor Dane]

This is why we do. But I have. It goes through my architect first because it's called review, you know, design review board first. Yeah, we know where we are in Santa Barbara. And then that had to happen. And then now it's gone back with the structural five times.

[Jeff Lewis]

Please don't tell me you have to deal with the Coastal commission. No, they're the worst.

[Sandy]

No.

[Taylor Dane]

Okay, I'm dealing. I'm dealing with the Riviera, but that. That I already dealt with. It's just.

[Jeff Lewis]

When will you actually.

[Taylor Dane]

I love you, Santa Barbara. Give me hope.

[Jeff Lewis]

God, when will you. Construction. What is the estimate? Estimated construction date.

[Taylor Dane]

The structural like.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, the estimated construct. When are they going to demo? When are you going to start building?

[Taylor Dane]

The minute they give me that freaking.

[Jeff Lewis]

When? Four months? Two months?

[Taylor Dane]

Would you go with me to city hall and just sit down?

[Sandy]

Just.

[Taylor Dane]

Just cut the crap and can we go together and just get this done?

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you calling.

[Taylor Dane]

Fill them. I'd love to film them with you going in there going. This is Taylor.

[Jeff Lewis]

Jane.

[Taylor Dane]

I need her head to be.

[Reza Farahan]

Maybe there's a chump in there somewhere.

[Jeff Lewis]

It probably is. The chumps are everywhere.

[Reza Farahan]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Our listeners. Chumps.

[Taylor Dane]

Chumps.

[Jeff Lewis]

How do you not know this? You've been on here so many times,

[Taylor Dane]

I don't even consider. I'm naive about everything. That's why it's fresh.

[Jeff Lewis]

Our listeners and co hosts are called chumps. You're a chump.

[Taylor Dane]

We have fellow Michelle Bergeron. You're a chumpy.

[Jeff Lewis]

We have fellow chumps. That is our new hookup at Cheesecake Factory.

[Taylor Dane]

Oh well, Cheesecake. Let's just morph it on in Cheesecake Factory. I could do it. I don't know if there's one in Santa Barbara. Do you think there is?

[Jeff Lewis]

Probably not for sure. But while you're here, go to the one in the grove. So Reza said. Reza has a book signing on April 7th.

[Reza Farahan]

Oh, how nice. At the Barnes and Noble at the Grove. Please buy tickets.

[Jeff Lewis]

April 7th. So you said hey when you walked in. I want to host everybody. The chumps.

[Reza Farahan]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

At the chump. Co host at Cheesecake. You didn't know I had the inner.

[Reza Farahan]

Whoa.

[Jeff Lewis]

You just name the time.

[Reza Farahan]

Name the time.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, name them.

[Reza Farahan]

I'm host. Name em. I'm hosting you guys. So you tell me what's good for you. We have to be there at 7.

[Mitch]

I made a 5:30 and we just need to figure out how many people and I'll tell him and he'll set it up.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. You know how Cheesecake Factory won't let you book more than six people?

[Reza Farahan]

Correct.

[Jeff Lewis]

They will with us.

[Mitch]

Not for us.

[Reza Farahan]

Amazing.

[Taylor Dane]

Again. I keep it real novel. I had no idea.

[Jeff Lewis]

Novice to all, it sounds like Taylor Dane has made some big mistakes through this whole process.

[Reza Farahan]

I just got my plans, by the way, from the architect.

[Jeff Lewis]

How long did it take?

[Reza Farahan]

He is amazing.

[Mitch]

Jason.

[Reza Farahan]

Jason.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know he is. That was my referral getting. You should use my architect.

[Taylor Dane]

My architect was great. That went smoothly and fast. And there's just the city just comes back with nine crappy every other day corrections. Corrections left, right.

[Jeff Lewis]

And then you gotta resubmit.

[Taylor Dane]

Yeah, resubmit. Resubmit.

[Reza Farahan]

Yeah, but we're living there, so. For us.

[Taylor Dane]

Yeah, you guys are living the dream. So in other words, I'm the loser.

[Jeff Lewis]

He's in the house. He's in the house.

[Taylor Dane]

I get it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Getting the permits. He will not move till he gets the permits. I did this too. I made that mistake to do.

[Taylor Dane]

Yes, stay until you get the permits.

[Jeff Lewis]

Correct. Because now in your case it could take. How long? How long have you owned the house?

[Taylor Dane]

Over a year.

[Jeff Lewis]

Jesus. Year. Over a year.

[Taylor Dane]

You're so right. But I didn't even think like it was inhabitable just.

[Jeff Lewis]

But for the money you're spending at rent, you could have spent a little bit of money, cleaned it up, lived there. Enjoy that view every night.

[Taylor Dane]

Johnny likes to sleep. Johnny already did a makeshift shower outside the house. Yeah, he looks at the stars every night. He's got a sleeping bag in one of the rooms. He's like, leave me here. Yeah, well, what about me? Where do I put a soft head at night and lay down and see?

[Jeff Lewis]

He's not motivated. I mean, he's living his best life.

[Taylor Dane]

Whoop it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Why does he want you there?

[Taylor Dane]

He doesn't want me there.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know he doesn't. That's why he's. Oh, I think he could have.

[Taylor Dane]

He went home to the house. I have the. No, he actually has that Starlink crap. And he said, I'm here gaming, relaxing. Can I help you? I go, I will come home.

[Mitch]

You will never see that permit.

[Taylor Dane]

Your ass.

[Mitch]

You will never see that permit.

[Jeff Lewis]

No.

[Taylor Dane]

Yes, I know.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, he's got a whole bachelor pad. Why did he interference on the ocean with an outdoor shower?

[Mitch]

Is the dirty building Bridge is plugged in?

[Taylor Dane]

You know what the most important thing was? I got a Buddha head. Like a six by six big Buddha head. Cause I'm competing with a park that is next door. And there was some sort of sculptural piece there. And I said, fuck it. Put a big Buddha head up on that rear. I want everybody to know, like, yo, we're bringing in the Zen. Let's go. I'm staying calm through this process.

[Jeff Lewis]

This guy Johnny, he builds the outdoor shower and bills Taylor. She pays for it.

[Taylor Dane]

I know. There are no corrections left over.

[Jeff Lewis]

Bullshit, dude.

[Taylor Dane]

Jeff, I forgot. This is your business. You're winding me up like a towel. Wow.

[Mitch]

There are no corrections. He just made. Made that up.

[Jeff Lewis]

He wrote the corrections. He purposely made mistakes.

[Mitch]

He wrote the list on my list.

[Taylor Dane]

No, the worst is my architect is French. And like, half the time he's talking to me. I'm like, I don't understand what he's saying. You know, Je ne sais pas. What? And so anyway, yes, he's talking to the city, so they're probably like, okay, it's moving along. It's moving along, guys.

[Jeff Lewis]

God, how long did it take for you to get your permits?

[Reza Farahan]

I don't. We haven't submitted yet. Because he's giving me plans right now. We're making decisions. I have a Zoom with him tomorrow to go.

[Taylor Dane]

What's the urgency for him? Nothing.

[Reza Farahan]

Nothing.

[Taylor Dane]

A book signing.

[Jeff Lewis]

Right.

[Taylor Dane]

The distinct factor, Pillows.

[Jeff Lewis]

He's not renting anywhere.

[Taylor Dane]

Nowhere he's comfortable. You're right. I should have just.

[Jeff Lewis]

He's got a beautiful garden. He makes fresh salads every day.

[Taylor Dane]

Is this true?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, it is.

[Taylor Dane]

A Persian salad.

[Reza Farahan]

A Persian salad.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you use cucumbers?

[Taylor Dane]

Is it true those Persian cucumbers are

[Reza Farahan]

the best the best.

[Taylor Dane]

The best.

[Reza Farahan]

The best.

[Taylor Dane]

I love that Mediterranean eating.

[Jeff Lewis]

And then, by the way, you're not going to get nine corrections with Jason. He's so thorough.

[Reza Farahan]

For sure not.

[Jeff Lewis]

And you'll be lucky to get one.

[Taylor Dane]

Do you guys even hear how you isolated me?

[Reza Farahan]

You're on an island.

[Taylor Dane]

You're targeting me.

[Jeff Lewis]

What not to do.

[Reza Farahan]

You're on an island.

[Jeff Lewis]

Not to do.

[Reza Farahan]

But she's rich. Rich.

[Taylor Dane]

That's some bullshit. You got to work for what you have.

[Jeff Lewis]

She works her out.

[Reza Farahan]

I didn't say she doesn't.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's. I mean, yeah, she has money, but she's. You know. She's doing 80s cruises to Cozumel and to Cox. Where are you. Where are you going?

[Taylor Dane]

Dude, it was me and Bret Michaels. Like, we were all just. But we have fun. Cause these people are committed. They love the 80s. What are you gonna do?

[Jeff Lewis]

I would do, like an 80s concert, but I don't want to be on a cruise for six days.

[Taylor Dane]

I don't want to be in a cruise, period.

[Jeff Lewis]

So what do you do? Do you fly in?

[Taylor Dane]

Fly. I don't stay six. Yeah, I fly in and fly out.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you get on the ship this time.

[Taylor Dane]

We got in in Bahamas and Nile Rogers already played in Billy Ocean. They had done a show at the port there already. You know, this is big acts, you know. And then we got on the boat, and then I did my. I did my two. I did two performances, and I played the next two days, and then I got off.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you were only really on one or two nights?

[Taylor Dane]

Three nights.

[Jeff Lewis]

And then you're out and then where did you go right then?

[Taylor Dane]

My girlfriend, Celeste. I took Celeste with me. She's like, oh, I want to go on the cruise. I wanted this. I wanted that. More complaints, more BS from Celeste. Celeste, a constant.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's not a cruise person. Who, Celeste? I'm not either.

[Taylor Dane]

Celeste.

[Jeff Lewis]

I get.

[Taylor Dane]

I'm doing another one. I'm doing the old school cruise that's coming up.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know. Oh, I know. I read about it. I don't want to be on a boat.

[Taylor Dane]

Sorry. Because. Do you want to come on this

[Reza Farahan]

Heath sweat if you're on it? Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Everyone.

[Taylor Dane]

We grew up, dude. It's so rb.

[Jeff Lewis]

Lisa. Lisa. Expose. Color Me Bad. Like, all the. All the bands we grew up with.

[Reza Farahan]

More State Morning outside of here.

[Taylor Dane]

Yeah. Morris Day is gonna do it. Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wait, so where did you. On the last cruise you did. Where did you. That was the 80s cruise. That was in March, right?

[Taylor Dane]

That's a big one.

[Jeff Lewis]

You just did it.

[Taylor Dane]

I just did it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Where did you, where did you get off the boat? Middle of the ocean. You're like, fuck it.

[Taylor Dane]

No, Port Canaveral. You don't want to get off that. Basically because I got on the second half. So they stopped in Freeport. I'm like, I'll be on the ship. And then they stopped it Port Canaveral. And then Celeste is like, get a car. We're not staying here. We're off the boat by 6am we're getting a car. We're going to drive. I have a place in, you know, Miami. So we, we just drove.

[Reza Farahan]

Question. Do you have to stay in your room? Because, like, can you walk around the boat? Do you even want to walk?

[Taylor Dane]

Not really.

[Jeff Lewis]

Is it because everybody's like, taylor, Taylor, Taylor.

[Taylor Dane]

Yeah, I go when they're on excursions. Well, there is a lot of that. Yeah. And so that's why it's, you know, a bit of a. But if I had Maxwell, you know, swing, hang and you know, that's what you sign up for when you're on a cruise.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did you go to the buffets?

[Taylor Dane]

Damn skippy.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Taylor Dane]

You know why? It's the easiest thing. You get sick of them after a few days. That's the problem. You're just like a buffet again.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, I'm in.

[Taylor Dane]

The omelet line is like 70 minutes long.

[Jeff Lewis]

What?

[Taylor Dane]

Celeste complains about everything.

[Jeff Lewis]

70 minutes is too long. Yeah, to wait for food.

[Taylor Dane]

Well, who's up at 8 getting a. Getting an omelette? You? Yeah, not me. I said to her, go take it and put it in your little protein drink. Suck it up and then go late.

[Jeff Lewis]

What time? If I'm ever on an 80s cruise, what time do I have to get up to avoid the 70 minute buffet line? Come on, you know all about cruises.

[Taylor Dane]

Dude, it's Celeste.

[Jeff Lewis]

Probably.

[Reza Farahan]

Can we call Celeste? I ever got up, get Celeste on the phone.

[Taylor Dane]

Dude, the only time I got an Omlu, when my road manager's wife brought me one, I was like, thank you, Hillary. Like six, seven. Pumping weights.

[Jeff Lewis]

You know, the old school cruise, which sounds fun, is sold out.

[Taylor Dane]

Yeah. So I'm sure it is.

[Jeff Lewis]

Five nights.

[Taylor Dane]

People love this crap.

[Reza Farahan]

Is it a Carnival cruise?

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't know.

[Taylor Dane]

I don't even know.

[Jeff Lewis]

This one is old school, but this

[Taylor Dane]

one is Carnival Panorama.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wait, this one's going to Cabo, I think.

[Taylor Dane]

Absolutely. It's going out of Long Beach.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so you get on in Long beach, supposedly. How many nights are you gonna be on?

[Taylor Dane]

I think three again. Four.

[Mitch]

It's a three night trip.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're gonna be on the whole three nights. How many acts are you doing?

[Taylor Dane]

I'm doing two shows.

[Jeff Lewis]

Two shows?

[Taylor Dane]

You can't get off when they're in the middle of how many songs? Oh, I'm probably doing a 60 minute set.

[Jeff Lewis]

No shit.

[Taylor Dane]

Last one I did a 90 minute. Yeah, Brett, we did 90 minute shows. It was full band. Oh, yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so it goes to Cabo. Does everyone exit the ship and then fly home?

[Taylor Dane]

Do I look like a cruiser?

[Sandy]

Oh, they come back.

[Jameson]

They come back.

[Taylor Dane]

Their cars are in line. No, I'm good.

[Reza Farahan]

Julie's tubing.

[Jameson]

Sometimes cruises will start in one place and end in another. Very infrequently.

[Jeff Lewis]

Can I just point something out? I'm trying to promote your shit. You're being a bitch to me.

[Taylor Dane]

I love you. I'm not a bitch.

[Jeff Lewis]

Just answer.

[Reza Farahan]

It's sold out.

[Mitch]

Do I look like a cruise director?

[Reza Farahan]

She doesn't need you to promote it. It's sold out.

[Taylor Dane]

No, it's not.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's true, but I'm trying to promote the next one.

[Taylor Dane]

What's the next one? The 17th, the 18th? Those are the ones that need. What about the 12th in Chicago?

[Mitch]

The Long beach.

[Jeff Lewis]

With me. I'm just asking questions.

[Taylor Dane]

You must have had a tough time with the child this morning. I'm telling you.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, I didn't.

[Mitch]

There's something called the funky brunch.

[Jeff Lewis]

What? You have to get up for that with Marky Mark?

[Mitch]

There's a casino with high limit tables.

[Reza Farahan]

We would be all over that. Casino. Is this a cruise?

[Mitch]

Old school cruise.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, please don't get mad at me. I just have a simple question.

[Taylor Dane]

Okay, I'll keep it simple.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. You get on the boat in Long beach.

[Taylor Dane]

That's what they tell me.

[Jeff Lewis]

You get to Cabo. Are you staying on the boat or you getting off in Cabo and flying home? Should I ask Mitch?

[Taylor Dane]

I think I am getting off the boat and going on another one, Mitch.

[Mitch]

Another boat? Oh, she's going to Nashville.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, you're flying to Nashville.

[Taylor Dane]

Oh, that's right. I have a private show in Nashville.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you're getting off the boat and she's flying from Cabo to Nashville? That's right. Okay. Okay, good. These are the questions.

[Taylor Dane]

Isn't that lovely? I think that's a wonderful question.

[Jeff Lewis]

God, you work a lot to pay for that house that you can't live in.

[Taylor Dane]

I want to shoot myself right now. I think.

[Jameson]

Any point of clarification on the house? You bought the house but never moved in and you're still waiting permits to do demo.

[Jeff Lewis]

And it's been a year.

[Jameson]

And it's been a year.

[Jeff Lewis]

And her boyfriend and I say this

[Taylor Dane]

online, and her boyfriend lives there, but the inside. But the inside. Do you think

[Jameson]

someone was murdered?

[Taylor Dane]

No.

[Reza Farahan]

Oh, thank God the boyfriend's there because we know from friends of ours. Squatters.

[Jeff Lewis]

Squatters.

[Reza Farahan]

Squatters will move right in.

[Taylor Dane]

I see people on the other head playing.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's why I changed the locks.

[Reza Farahan]

I ratted you out. I texted me out, I texted Maris. And I was like a caller called in and said, you and Jamie had the flirts. You and Jamie had the flirts.

[Jeff Lewis]

They did in the beginning.

[Reza Farahan]

Renee called in and said the flirts had the flirts.

[Jeff Lewis]

They did have the flirts in the beginning and you know it. Reza.

[Taylor Dane]

Not anymore.

[Jeff Lewis]

There was a connection.

[Taylor Dane]

Well, that's lovely.

[Jeff Lewis]

I mean, compared to Tommy. I mean, come on.

[Taylor Dane]

Why is everybody covering their mouth?

[Sandy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mitch]

There's been some drama.

[Jeff Lewis]

It really was.

[Taylor Dane]

Oh, Tony was drama. Yeah. That's not good. See, pants is no drama. No drama.

[Jeff Lewis]

Not Tony.

[Mitch]

Tony's drama too.

[Jeff Lewis]

Is he on the cruise?

[Taylor Dane]

Yeah, my cruise. No drama. I feel like. I'm like, where do you stay?

[Jeff Lewis]

You didn't drive from Santa Barbara, did you?

[Taylor Dane]

Not today.

[Jeff Lewis]

Where'd you stay?

[Taylor Dane]

I stayed at a little bungalow. No, I stayed at one of my friends house.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, nice.

[Taylor Dane]

I have some nice friends up on Mulholland. You know, they offer me rooms. What about you? Maybe I'll go to Martin Ballard's next time. Maybe I'll stay with some of my other friends.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, how many nights is it? How many nights?

[Taylor Dane]

I don't like conditions. That's why I'd rather stay at a hotel.

[Jeff Lewis]

I have two guest rooms, but it depends on how many nights.

[Taylor Dane]

But you have that cat, the kid you got a lot of.

[Jeff Lewis]

I got two cats, a dog and the kid.

[Taylor Dane]

Yeah, that's not for me. You know what I did?

[Jeff Lewis]

You have kids.

[Taylor Dane]

They're 24 and you have a cat. I got rid of her.

[Sandy]

I gave her the daughter.

[Taylor Dane]

I gave her Lucy. I didn't even. Johnny's like, I'm allergic to her. What do I have to say? It's not even that. I was like, I was gone so long. I was gone all of February and it was like, you can have a trial period, Astaria with Lucy and then she sends me pictures of her, like, you know, doing that dripping. They drool and what's that?

[Reza Farahan]

They make biscuits.

[Taylor Dane]

Oh, biscuits. That's it. Biscuits on her breasts. I go, put a bra on because I don't need to see all.

[Reza Farahan]

Not a bra, a bra, a bra.

[Taylor Dane]

Put a bra on Astaria. And the cats just go, I don't need to see that now.

[Jeff Lewis]

Reza has. Reza has four cats.

[Taylor Dane]

I'm not. I'm down with the cat.

[Jeff Lewis]

I have two cats. Just close your door.

[Taylor Dane]

What does that mean? I live in a guest house.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, if you stay with me, close the guest. Guest room door.

[Jameson]

Now.

[Taylor Dane]

The cats go everywhere your house starts. I'm not worried about it. The cat. We have the kids. Kids go everywhere.

[Reza Farahan]

She's worried Monroe's gonna go through her stomach.

[Taylor Dane]

I watched how he does things. He has set out a tent. Then the tent had the cats in it. And the kids supposed to be in the tent, but the kids didn't play in the tent. The cat did. It was all very.

[Mitch]

Remember that?

[Jeff Lewis]

No, I don't remember any of that.

[Taylor Dane]

That was called. That was called. Yeah, Covid times at Hollywood.

[Mitch]

We had that pink tent.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, that was in my living room forever. Yes. It's coming back.

[Taylor Dane]

Yeah. Well, that never left.

[Jeff Lewis]

That tent was there for a year. You're right. And then there was the one time

[Taylor Dane]

I showed up a day early

[Reza Farahan]

to

[Taylor Dane]

radio for his interview with his house.

[Jeff Lewis]

And it was at my house.

[Taylor Dane]

And he goes, what are you doing here, dude? Joe, I'm supposed to be here. And I go. And he goes, no, you're not. You're coming tomorrow. And I go, joann. I just screamed at the top of my legs. My pr. I was like, you gotta be kidding me, man.

[Mitch]

Just walked in the door.

[Taylor Dane]

I just rolled in, like, let's go.

[Jeff Lewis]

It was kind of funny, though.

[Taylor Dane]

It was so good.

[Jeff Lewis]

It was a nice surprise to have Taylor Danger show up at your house.

[Reza Farahan]

Hello.

[Jeff Lewis]

A day early.

[Taylor Dane]

I did that at Les Moonves's house too.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did Joanne tell you the wrong date?

[Taylor Dane]

No, but my girlfriend gave me the wrong address. And guess what? They even gave me the gate code. And it happened to be Les Munves. And the same gate code was. The neighbor had the same one in Bel Air. And I swear to God, I walked right up the security.

[Jeff Lewis]

I was just.

[Taylor Dane]

I had a shirt on. Johnny was wearing a Taylor Dane T shirt. I had a bottle of one. I go, was. I go, where's. Where's. Where's the party at? Where's the party at? We go in there and his wife.

[Reza Farahan]

Who.

[Taylor Dane]

You know who his wife is. She's. She's like, hi. In a house dress and like, something. Is everybody at the tennis courts? Because I'm not seeing everybody at the party. And she goes, we're not having. She goes, taylor, you're good friends with Leah Remini. And I'm like, well, yeah, but what's that got. Are you having a party? I go, maybe the party was moved over her house. I didn't know what to think. And then she politely told me, you're supposed to be at the house next door.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's really funny.

[Taylor Dane]

And the fact that I had her security code and the security let me in. A whole fiesta started up there.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know, but it's.

[Taylor Dane]

No, but that's amazing. That's like sitcom 101 insane. Like, open up your book with that. Kind of.

[Jeff Lewis]

We did that at Jackie Schimmel's holiday party.

[Mitch]

Yeah. The driver dropped us off at the house next door, and we just walked

[Jeff Lewis]

right in the house and walked right in. Why do they have their front door door unlocked?

[Taylor Dane]

Was it great?

[Jeff Lewis]

They were very lovely.

[Taylor Dane]

But were they in house coach?

[Jeff Lewis]

Six of us walked. Walked right in. I mean, we could have been shot.

[Taylor Dane]

Six of you?

[Mitch]

Yeah, it was us.

[Taylor Dane]

That's how it rolls. That's the best thing.

[Jeff Lewis]

Cardi. Wilson was with us.

[Taylor Dane]

Cardi's like my secret weapon.

[Jeff Lewis]

But we were one house. Yeah.

[Taylor Dane]

We're doing a show together, too.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you?

[Taylor Dane]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wilson Phillips and I. I love that they're touring again.

[Taylor Dane]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Because they stopped for a long time.

[Taylor Dane]

Well, China. China's home. Yeah. China lives in Santa Barbara. Tells me our secrets. I just did a thing with them for the. For Brian, like, maybe, like, four months ago. Yes. They spend. Everybody's up in. In Santa Barbara. What are you guys doing? Living in. Living in your guest house. In your house.

[Jeff Lewis]

He's. Yeah.

[Reza Farahan]

I mean, I'm in my house right now until I get the plans.

[Jeff Lewis]

I move in my house April 24th, the new one.

[Reza Farahan]

That's amazing.

[Jeff Lewis]

Three years. But I did what you did. I sat there and waited six months for permits, and I was dealing with hpoz, Historical preservation overlays.

[Taylor Dane]

Yeah, I get it.

[Jeff Lewis]

They're the ones that held me up.

[Taylor Dane]

Oh, I'll bet.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think. I mean, I didn't do it in. I mean, I did a lot of work, but I wasn't moving walls or anything, so. That all.

[Taylor Dane]

I don't want to say any of that out loud.

[Jeff Lewis]

That could have all been easy permits.

[Taylor Dane]

But you actually said that stuff.

[Jeff Lewis]

It was the hpoz.

[Taylor Dane]

I wouldn't have done that. That sounds like an injection.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wait, what are you talking about?

[Taylor Dane]

HP zoz.

[Jeff Lewis]

HPO Z.

[Taylor Dane]

Sounds like.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, no, no.

[Mitch]

They watch Trouble.

[Jeff Lewis]

They watched when I started doing things without asking them. They put me on the watch list and then they were real tough on me.

[Taylor Dane]

Now you're red flagged.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yep. They. I think they're happy with me.

[Reza Farahan]

Did she call you a red fag?

[Mitch]

She did.

[Jeff Lewis]

Flag.

[Taylor Dane]

I didn't say red flag. I said red flag. I don't know why you're hearing those things, Reza.

[Jeff Lewis]

I actually think they're very happy. I think they're real happy. I think it exceeded their expectations.

[Reza Farahan]

I would kill to have you in my neighborhood dropping those kinds of coins and beautifying. They should have rolled out the red carpet for you.

[Jeff Lewis]

But they gave me. They did give me a lot of shit in the.

[Taylor Dane]

What did the Jews say? Cirrus. Unnecessary pain in the kishkas.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, I mean, I kind of brought it upon myself though. I thought I was gonna just like ask for forgiveness. But you gotta ask for permission with those people.

[Taylor Dane]

Yeah.

[Reza Farahan]

It's not bravo.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, you're right. Oh, by the way, my brother hit a pothole. Totaled his car. Just like Zetti did. So. Zetti is my husband.

[Mitch]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Sepulveda totaled his car. Taylor.

[Taylor Dane]

Wow, that's some pothole.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yep. It's like a sinkhole.

[Taylor Dane]

Are we talking about how disastrous LA streets are these days or what are we running through?

[Reza Farahan]

No joke. My husband totaled his BMW. No, he was. It was a GLB250. It had like 15,000 miles. It was in pristine condition. He hit a pothole.

[Jeff Lewis]

Frame damage.

[Reza Farahan]

Frame damage.

[Jeff Lewis]

Same thing with Todd. Yeah.

[Reza Farahan]

No.

[Jeff Lewis]

What street were you on?

[Reza Farahan]

He got off on Laurel. Coldwater Canyon and in Sherman Oaks.

[Taylor Dane]

Yeah, by the 101 there. Yeah. Riverside and.

[Reza Farahan]

Yes, exactly.

[Taylor Dane]

That's horrible.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's where Todd was. Like 405 on the 405.

[Taylor Dane]

So how does the insurance look at that? Like California is no fault policy. Like what is it?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, they just. They total the. No, they total the car, but they. They pay off the loan. You know, they come up with some stupid amount of what they think it's

[Reza Farahan]

worth and then there was a deductible. So.

[Jeff Lewis]

Right. You lose money.

[Reza Farahan]

You hundred percent lose money.

[Taylor Dane]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

By the way, the book signing. If you guys can't make it on April 7th for Reza's. Susan Lucci is going to be at the Grove on 4 20. I mean, if you have to choose,

[Reza Farahan]

why are you plugging? Is Susan Lucci a chump?

[Jeff Lewis]

I bet she is.

[Reza Farahan]

Why are you.

[Jeff Lewis]

She should be. We love Susan Lucci.

[Taylor Dane]

He's a pot stirrer.

[Reza Farahan]

Can you not just hype the person that's here?

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. When you sell out, which you Will. Then we'll buy Susan Lucci's tickets.

[Reza Farahan]

Yes, after.

[Jeff Lewis]

So, okay, you're right.

[Taylor Dane]

You think Susan Lucci will go to Cheesecake Factory and pay?

[Jeff Lewis]

She doesn't eat.

[Taylor Dane]

She doesn't eat?

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't think so. She looks like she eats.

[Reza Farahan]

She's on that hpoz shot again.

[Taylor Dane]

I think we're all on a lot of that now. Past that point.

[Jeff Lewis]

So April 7th?

[Reza Farahan]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now it's 34. You didn't mention the $4. I think processing fees.

[Mitch]

That changes things.

[Jeff Lewis]

That does change things. It makes us look at Susan Lucci a little harder.

[Reza Farahan]

You don't think Susan Lucci has a processing fee? No, she does.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's so loaded she doesn't need it. Literally.

[Taylor Dane]

She's loaded, too. I don't assume anything, Susan. So if you want to discuss. Don't worry.

[Jeff Lewis]

So it's not 30, 75 or whatever, it's. What is it, 34.75. Is that what it is?

[Reza Farahan]

Yeah, it's $35. But you get a copy of the book and listen, a fan social is thousands of dollars. So if you look at it, you're saving money by coming to the Grove. You'll see me. There'll be Crystal and.

[Mitch]

He's cute.

[Taylor Dane]

He's cute.

[Reza Farahan]

Crystal will be there.

[Jeff Lewis]

So how long is it gonna be?

[Reza Farahan]

It's not that long.

[Jeff Lewis]

Like how long?

[Mitch]

Like an hour.

[Reza Farahan]

Like an hour.

[Taylor Dane]

What are you gonna say? He's gonna read excerpts from his book.

[Reza Farahan]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

And then talk about the book.

[Reza Farahan]

And there'll be a Q and A. So if you have a question.

[Taylor Dane]

I do.

[Reza Farahan]

I do have a question. What's your question?

[Mitch]

She read the book.

[Jeff Lewis]

She read the whole book?

[Reza Farahan]

She did. She was texting me.

[Jeff Lewis]

She read the whole book?

[Taylor Dane]

Yes. I want more about your relationship with your dad when he moved to New York and how. That all.

[Jeff Lewis]

You need to ask that question at the book signing.

[Sandy]

Out.

[Taylor Dane]

I'll save it for the book signing. I have a few more.

[Reza Farahan]

Thank you.

[Jeff Lewis]

Have you picked out your outfit yet?

[Taylor Dane]

No, I'm working on it. It's going to be a. You told me you never lived in New York.

[Reza Farahan]

I didn't. My dad did.

[Taylor Dane]

Oh, well, that explains your dad.

[Reza Farahan]

When we. When my parents got a divorce, my dad moved back to New York with his tail between his legs and went back to his family.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wait, what's. So, I'm just curious. Like, I want a little follow up. So your outfit's going to be Persian?

[Taylor Dane]

Yeah, of course.

[Jeff Lewis]

What does that mean exactly?

[Taylor Dane]

I don't know.

[Jameson]

I.

[Mitch]

That was Rasa not getting Inspired.

[Taylor Dane]

Like I need to get like a Rolex or something, like a gold rhino. And I need to get Taylor.

[Reza Farahan]

Jane is very Persian.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hello.

[Reza Farahan]

Did you see we're matching in the rollies.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are those real?

[Taylor Dane]

My breasts? Yeah, just so everybody can hear. Jack, there's no interest of this to you? None.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, I'm just curious.

[Mitch]

He's interested.

[Taylor Dane]

At this point they should. They're probably real because it's like 25 year implants. So I don't think that anything that was put in is really outstanding. Right at this point, so.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, that Johnny's a lucky guy.

[Taylor Dane]

Nah, Johnny says go get him fixed all the time.

[Jeff Lewis]

What's wrong with him?

[Taylor Dane]

Everything.

[Jeff Lewis]

What is wrong? There's nothing wrong with him.

[Taylor Dane]

It's not funny, but I laugh every night of the day. Every time I'm with him, I crack up.

[Jeff Lewis]

Does he like smaller breasts? Is he wanting to get a reduction?

[Taylor Dane]

He wants the bigger the better.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, does he want to.

[Taylor Dane]

Less is going for a reduction. He goes, that is the. Don't ask any man what you're doing because that's Ashanda, of course, she was another Jewish word.

[Jeff Lewis]

So he wants you to go even bigger.

[Taylor Dane]

He goes, ah, just lift him up, lift him up. I'm like, who on my list of shit I have to do? You think my. My boobs. I'm saying it nicely. My tits are on the highest part. I go, how about getting the permits? That's what I do. I turn around, I go, how about the structural permits?

[Reza Farahan]

I bet you if you get the boobs done, he'll get you those permits lickety split.

[Taylor Dane]

I ain't worried about pants.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, you hold him over his head.

[Taylor Dane]

Whoever from Santa Barbara is hearing us. I love you.

[Jeff Lewis]

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[Jeff Lewis]

Imagine that you're doing some online shopping when all of a sudden you see it. That one product that you've been looking for. You add to cart and as you're filling in your address, you realize you don't have your cart anywhere near you. And just when you're about to give up, you see that purple pay button. One tap and you're checked out in seconds. Shopify's Shop Pay button is used by millions of businesses around the world and it's why Shopify has the best converting checkout on the planet. It also helps boost conversions, meaning less carts going abandoned and more sales for you. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all E commerce is in the US from household names like Heinz and Mattel to brands just getting started. See less carts go abandoned and more sales with Shopify and their Shop Pay button. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com jefflewis go to shopify.com Jeff Lewis that's shopify.com JeffLew. Did you know that the average employer has to sort through roughly 250 resumes per job opening? Talk about time consuming. Well, if you're hiring, here's good news. You can now review all of these resumes and applications Faster thanks to ZipRecruiter ZipRecruiter's powerful matching technology finds qualified candidates quickly. And with ZipRecruiter's new feature, qualified candidates who are very interested in your job show up at the the top of your list. For years, I've consistently turned to ZipRecruiter to find top quality candidates for openings in my office. And you can count on ZipRecruiter too. Cut through the standard and get to the standouts with ZipRecruiter. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. And now you can try it for [e-mail] Chomp. That's ziprecruiter.com Chump. Meet your match on ZipRecruiter. For someone who has seen Taylor Dane perform live, I strongly, strongly, strongly recommend. She's incredible. Her voice is incredible. For tour dates, where do people go?

[Taylor Dane]

Okay, coming up right now, guys. Well, first of all, go to taylordigitalne.com because that's the easiest. And of course, my Instagram. April 12, I'm going to be in Chicago at the Rosemont at Joe's Live, which is a really cool new little venue and I'm excited about it. April 12. April 17, Besalem, Pennsylvania. Ben Salem.

[Jameson]

Ben Salem.

[Taylor Dane]

Ben Salem. Thank you for saving me. And that's April 17th. April 18th, Woonsocket, Rhode Island. Are these Indian lands.

[Mitch]

Fun town.

[Taylor Dane]

I know. April 28th to May 3rd, as Jeff politely was telling us all about, I'm going to be on the old school sold out cruise.

[Jeff Lewis]

God, it's gonna be.

[Taylor Dane]

Dude, that's gonna be some hip music playing on that. And then I come back.

[Mitch]

Oh, my God, the omelets.

[Taylor Dane]

Then I have a private show. It's worth the 70 minutes in Nashville. And then I leave for Honolulu on May in my May 6th. May 7th, I have a beautiful show in Hawaii in Honolulu.

[Mitch]

Aloha.

[Taylor Dane]

So exciting.

[Jeff Lewis]

I feel like you're reading this for the first time. You had no idea you were going to Honolulu? You don't know. I feel right.

[Taylor Dane]

Well, I had to think about the private show and then there's something else I'm doing on May 2nd.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're doing a private show in Nashvill after the see, I know you're scheduled now.

[Taylor Dane]

I have the show on May 2nd. What is it?

[Jeff Lewis]

What is that? Mitch, what's the other show on May 2nd?

[Mitch]

Yes. Check the phone. No one knows.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, even Mitch doesn't know. He's looking at his phone. God, you work that much that nobody can keep track. Oh, Atlantic City on May 2nd, I'm Atlantic City on.

[Taylor Dane]

That's a pretty big venue.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's big, dude.

[Taylor Dane]

Hello. I tried to say it. May 2nd. I'm in Atlantic City.

[Reza Farahan]

Can we go gamble?

[Taylor Dane]

I would love you would be my honor if you guys would show up. You could you. There will be a lot of fun people.

[Jeff Lewis]

You know what we need? We need.

[Taylor Dane]

Supposedly I'm even headlining. Do I get to say that? May 2, I'm in Atlantic City.

[Jeff Lewis]

Can we get her at Agua Caliente? Because then we go down to Palm Springs. I agree with you. This is what I want. I wanted to do it for pride, but pride kind of went. We got to get her to Agua Caliente. That we can gamble. And I still want to go to that jewelry resale place that you. I'm not telling anybody. I'll tell Taylor later.

[Taylor Dane]

But watches, watches, watches.

[Jeff Lewis]

Everything, everything.

[Taylor Dane]

I love me some watches.

[Jeff Lewis]

Great deals.

[Taylor Dane]

I'm like.

[Reza Farahan]

You do? Yeah.

[Taylor Dane]

I love.

[Reza Farahan]

Yeah, girl.

[Jeff Lewis]

Great deal.

[Taylor Dane]

I'm loving that. Let's go.

[Reza Farahan]

I'm a jewelry Reza.

[Jeff Lewis]

You will not do laugh grown, right?

[Reza Farahan]

No.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, same. I think it's a bad investment.

[Reza Farahan]

No, I'm not. I mean, I'm okay with it for other people, but not for myself.

[Jeff Lewis]

Right. You know what? I will say somebody. I didn't get to the caller, unfortunately, but she's like, why do all these people in Beverly Hills carry around the same bag? Which is the Birkin.

[Taylor Dane]

Sure.

[Jeff Lewis]

And what I was going to say to her, it's an investment. My stepmom just got one last year. About two years ago, she bought it from Hermes for 15 grand. She could sell it online right now for 25.

[Reza Farahan]

It out in a year. In a year, Jeff. Birkins and Kelly bags, especially the hard to get ones. They outperform the stock market.

[Taylor Dane]

Which one is that? The 33 inch. Which one?

[Jeff Lewis]

They all do it.

[Reza Farahan]

Like the baby Kelly.

[Taylor Dane]

Like I saw the baby Kelly. My. My hair guy is doing the baby Kelly. I'm just saying. It is my staple. I have it two bags and that's.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Taylor Dane]

It is what it is right now. I'm not rocking any paper bag from Cyclops. When my fans give me my little pouches that I can throw things in.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Taylor Dane]

If they make them and they give them to me, I love them, too.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's cute.

[Taylor Dane]

Of course, that's no Birkin, but the Birkins, 1000%.

[Jeff Lewis]

Will you write down that goyard that we're having monogrammed from Monroe?

[Mitch]

Yeah.

[Reza Farahan]

What do you think about men carrying that?

[Taylor Dane]

My little boy's doing it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Feels. I don't know.

[Taylor Dane]

He wears it well.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't know really. But he's a straight dude, right?

[Taylor Dane]

Hell no. He's doing my hair and makeup.

[Reza Farahan]

What?

[Taylor Dane]

I'm sorry, what part did you hear?

[Reza Farahan]

I mean, Steve Harvey has the.

[Taylor Dane]

No, I don't want to be spicy. Taylor. Today I got a low down. Maybe it's a testosterone. We have to check in with that. Huh? The endocrinologist.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wait, does Astaria. Does she live in Santa Barbara?

[Taylor Dane]

Yes, she does.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you staying with her?

[Taylor Dane]

Hell no.

[Jeff Lewis]

And the kitty?

[Taylor Dane]

The kitty stays with her. And I went there and I unloaded the kitty box and I told her I. If I see neglect here, I will take the cat back. She had like eight, eight litter maneuvers in there. And I go, that's not Lucy's style. Lucy's used to have mommy who cleans out. She goes right in there.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yep, same.

[Taylor Dane]

I don't let things accumulate for a day.

[Jeff Lewis]

Same.

[Taylor Dane]

Disgusting.

[Jeff Lewis]

The second it's there, I'm waiting with the scooper.

[Taylor Dane]

I'm waiting with the scooper.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yep, yep, same.

[Reza Farahan]

You don't have a litter robot?

[Jeff Lewis]

Fuck no, no, no.

[Taylor Dane]

I love that whole.

[Jeff Lewis]

We go in there 25 times a day minimum.

[Taylor Dane]

Jeff. We're the same.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yep. And you know what? My house does not smell like cats.

[Mitch]

No.

[Jeff Lewis]

Because we are constantly cleaning, scooping. Yes, yep.

[Taylor Dane]

Well, I'm down with that. I mean, if. If anything gives me more relaxation, it would be my Dyson.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, really?

[Taylor Dane]

Nothing gives me better. Better calm.

[Jeff Lewis]

You know what?

[Taylor Dane]

And running around with my Dyson. I could be naked. I could be in shorts. Generally, Johnny's like, put something on and I'm with that Dyson rolling around the house. Love it.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's funny, a lot of people, some people, yes, they get relaxation from folding laundry or vacuuming or think about the

[Taylor Dane]

repetitiveness of it and the real.

[Jeff Lewis]

You know what? You would love my new house. You have to put this in your house. Central vacuum. Yep.

[Mitch]

You're not hauling around a massive heavy vacuum.

[Jeff Lewis]

Nope. You gotta do it.

[Taylor Dane]

The Dyson's not heavy.

[Jeff Lewis]

You have little adapters in every room. And you just have this hose and you walk in.

[Reza Farahan]

Oh, the hose.

[Jeff Lewis]

I just open it up, you plug it in. There's no hauling around.

[Taylor Dane]

That hose is crazy.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, that's why I put in a lot of adapters. So what they do.

[Taylor Dane]

Like Celeste has one of those in the Hamptons.

[Jeff Lewis]

Here's the problem. Celeste, she doesn't have enough adapters. I Have one in every room, so I don't need the hundred foot.

[Taylor Dane]

Michelle, make sure Celeste hears this.

[Jeff Lewis]

Celeste.

[Taylor Dane]

They're in New York listening.

[Jeff Lewis]

Celeste fucked up.

[Reza Farahan]

Do you have the thing in the kitchen where you can sweep right into a hole as well?

[Jeff Lewis]

I want that, but I don't have that. Okay, so Celeste got a reduction, huh? How do they look?

[Taylor Dane]

No, they didn't. Not yet. She's not reduced yet. They were live. And I've never seen normal breasts look pretty good for her. I mean, she's. I'm like, you shouldn't mess with those.

[Reza Farahan]

Maris boobs look amazing by the way. She got them reduced. They look like 25 year old boobs.

[Jeff Lewis]

Any scars?

[Taylor Dane]

I mean, I didn't, but it's definitely scars.

[Reza Farahan]

I didn't ask to look at the scars, but they look amazing.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, Because I've seen some botched jobs where they look, you know, they look good until you go up close and then there's like, you know, scar after scar after scar. That's what you gotta be careful about.

[Taylor Dane]

I'm not worried about my boobs. I already got it. They already came for me, remember?

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, because you know, after, I mean, you probably should switch out your implants after 25 years, they could break. They're probably completely dissolved by now. You're right.

[Mitch]

Literally.

[Taylor Dane]

I still need a house permit. Like I said again, priorities, boys, priorities. Priorities days. I'll get the. Yeah, I have to pay off my windows and doors first.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now your kids are 24 now.

[Taylor Dane]

Yeah, they're adults.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did they get their driver's license right? At 16?

[Taylor Dane]

Hell no. We had this discussion.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know, 18.

[Taylor Dane]

Ugh, maybe I'll get it. I'm like, who thinks like this? She goes, ugh, Uber. I go, you're ridiculous. I go, I couldn't even wait to like what happened without your dmv.

[Jeff Lewis]

Sandy, California, line two for Taylor Dane. This is important.

[Taylor Dane]

Let's go.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hi, Sandy.

[Sandy]

Hey, Good morning, chumps.

[Taylor Dane]

Good morning. Oh, chump to you. Retired, building official.

[Sandy]

For about 34 years all throughout California. Anyway, I hear a couple of things that maybe you can improve on and two of them. One of them is your contractor and one of them is your architect. Now the contractor. Just remember this, the squeaky wheel gets the lube. Well, I think the contractor's getting the friggin lube right now. But anyway, by me, she wants grease.

[Jeff Lewis]

Sandy, but okay, get the lube out.

[Taylor Dane]

Johnny the architect. What does the architect got to do, speak English?

[Sandy]

Well, okay, so what I'm hearing, and maybe it's not that big of a problem. But there's a problem. You said that you can't understand him. He's Italian. He's probably a great architect. No offense to.

[Taylor Dane]

No, he's wonderful.

[Sandy]

Whatever.

[Taylor Dane]

But they keep.

[Sandy]

Yes, going back.

[Taylor Dane]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Sandy]

But he maybe is having a hard time communicating with them.

[Jeff Lewis]

Language barrier.

[Sandy]

So you need, you need a, you need kind of a boy to go in there and just put the building official. This is the city of Santa Barbara. Santa Barbara, okay, if it was la, it's tough, but Santa Barbara, come on.

[Jeff Lewis]

What about a.

[Sandy]

What does that mean? Dialing?

[Taylor Dane]

That means good,

[Sandy]

that, that's better. Because if it was la, that backup is so awful. But anyway, so somebody needs to be speed dialing the building official every day. Be a thorn in their side.

[Taylor Dane]

Believe me, dialing the official every day.

[Reza Farahan]

And she's writing it down, Sandy, she's writing it down.

[Taylor Dane]

You know what? I'm a very good.

[Jeff Lewis]

Can't remember this follow up. We have to write it down.

[Taylor Dane]

Be dialing the official. Oh no, I'm listening to her.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Sandy]

And find out who your city council member is. And the same thing. They get so sick of these people calling them that they'll march into that building official, say what is going on here? You know, and then maybe since there might be a language barrier, just saying hope maybe need a. Well they, you know those plan checkers, they just get whatever. Anyway, so.

[Taylor Dane]

Listen to her, huh? Mitzvah.

[Sandy]

Oh, you're starting to bring up all this stuff.

[Jeff Lewis]

Sandy, I have a question. I have two questions. Number one, nine corrections is not good, right?

[Taylor Dane]

Well, you had that.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, I didn't have. You had nine.

[Sandy]

Okay, nine corrections. But what are they? Are they.

[Taylor Dane]

Oh, we can't get into it now. But, but, but Sandy, I see your number popped up. Don't, don't, don't hesitate. If you get a three, two, three, call.

[Jeff Lewis]

Pick it up, pick it up. Sandy.

[Sandy]

Hey, Sandy, I'll give you advice. I work for a consultant up north right now part time, but anyway, sounds

[Taylor Dane]

like you, you know how to handle these officials.

[Jeff Lewis]

Sandy, I got a question. One more question for you.

[Sandy]

You.

[Jeff Lewis]

So about five years ago, I had some difficulty getting permits for retaining walls and I hired a permit expediter, which really, really helped me a lot. Do you recommend that Taylor Dane hires a permit expediter?

[Sandy]

Yeah, because you have one person and I think and nine corrections to me. It depends on what those corrections are. If it's stupid stuff, then just put it on the plans, you know what I mean? Just red line them on the plan will do.

[Taylor Dane]

These last ones are stupid.

[Sandy]

Otherwise they're gonna nickel and dime you to death. Yeah, I'm talking about the plants neckers. And somebody has to say, knock it off. And let's just redline these. We need some structural stuff. Let's get that done and then we're out of there.

[Jeff Lewis]

Thank you, Sandy.

[Taylor Dane]

Thank you so much.

[Jeff Lewis]

Thanks, Chomp. Have a good day. Also, I want to take this time. I strongly recommend, and I want to promote the Susan Lucci book signing on April 20th at Barnes Noble at the Grove. You do not want to miss that evening. I know. I don't want to miss it. I don't want to miss a minute of it.

[Mitch]

We should go to Cheesecake then as well.

[Reza Farahan]

Do you think Susan will pay for cheesecake for you guys to hang out prior to her event?

[Mitch]

I'll buy her cheesecake. I love her.

[Reza Farahan]

Oh, my God.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, I was talking to Mitch over here.

[Taylor Dane]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

And Mitchell, the manager. Mitch is on it. He just said to me, I just spoke to Taylor's agent. They're going to do a Palm Spring show in September, hopefully at Agua Caliente, so we can gamble. Reza, let's go.

[Reza Farahan]

Maybe. Maybe Susan Lucci can come with us.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, we should invite her.

[Taylor Dane]

I just played there, though. Didn't we go back so we can go? I'll go back. It was great room, great, great fun.

[Jeff Lewis]

They have a good little theater. Mitch was saying.

[Taylor Dane]

I mean, but, you know, they're all low ceiling, but, you know, I'll blow it up.

[Jeff Lewis]

Is it true? Well, I wanted to ask you, so you probably don't know this, but Reza was on this show called Shahs of Sunset that went on for like 11 years. Nine years, something like that. Then now he has a new show called the Valley, Persian style. He did mention that he is in very good shape today, but he was a little heavier during the show.

[Taylor Dane]

Are we talking about GLPs now?

[Reza Farahan]

Stress eating.

[Jeff Lewis]

So are there any more texts calling you a fat buck?

[Reza Farahan]

No more. I blocked that person because I do not need to be texted, you ugly fat fuck, I hope you die. You know, just randomly while I'm trying to enjoy my day. He was like, who is this? Why are they texting?

[Taylor Dane]

Well, he should be going on there like Johnny does, and then writing back like, you know, I didn't even know. Johnny gets teed up and writes people back. Why didn't your husband go writes, write him back, say, who the fuck are you? I'm coming after you. Like, you know, that kind of stuff.

[Reza Farahan]

Because Jeff Told me don't engage. They want you to engage.

[Jeff Lewis]

They want you to engage, that's for sure. But you had to block him.

[Reza Farahan]

I mean I.

[Jeff Lewis]

Why would he keep going?

[Reza Farahan]

Who knows?

[Taylor Dane]

I always block those little.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't block anybody.

[Reza Farahan]

I don't wanna.

[Taylor Dane]

Why?

[Mitch]

Well on text you should.

[Taylor Dane]

They write nastiness.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, I don't block em.

[Taylor Dane]

Oh you love.

[Jeff Lewis]

And I leave the comments up there.

[Taylor Dane]

Oh my lanta, you have thick skin

[Jeff Lewis]

and I think it's funny. I don't know, I think it's kind of funny when people react and get all crazy.

[Reza Farahan]

Yeah, I'm good.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm entertained by it. Are you? So as you don't know this Taylor, but basically every night Reza and his partner, they look at each other, they hold hands and they do nightly check ins and they say stupid shit like what can I do for you and

[Mitch]

how can I make tomorrow?

[Jeff Lewis]

How can I make tomorrow even greater for you?

[Taylor Dane]

Therapy. Therapy, 100%. You know how I look you deeply in the eyes. They went to a couple's therapist before it broke apart.

[Reza Farahan]

We sure did.

[Jeff Lewis]

So now these two are doing it over here. Frank and Jameson.

[Jameson]

I love it. I think it's so cool.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you seriously are doing it every night?

[Jameson]

Yeah, we're checking in. I absolutely love it. I think it's such a great way to set up the next day.

[Reza Farahan]

Thank you.

[Mitch]

What are some things you've heard from Frank?

[Jameson]

That I'm doing a great job.

[Jeff Lewis]

See, I don't want to ask Ty because I don't want to work on anything.

[Taylor Dane]

There it is. It would be a long list and

[Jeff Lewis]

you know, I want to finish the show. Pour another glass of wine.

[Reza Farahan]

I don't know. It's literally two minutes in bed before you go to sleep while you're looking at each other.

[Taylor Dane]

Who goes to sleep the same time?

[Mitch]

I do, I do. Me and bro.

[Taylor Dane]

I don't.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, you sleep in separate homes, you

[Taylor Dane]

don't go to sleep with the same. There's that too, but it's not really true. But I understand what you're saying. You know there's a lot when you make a commitment. But this is all work in progress, right? We're all works in progress.

[Mitch]

Have you given Frank any feedback?

[Jameson]

No, we're like, generally we're like pretty good communicators but I like adding on this layer. I think it's really healthy. And thanks for the inspiration.

[Reza Farahan]

I appreciate you, Jameson.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you two nerds are doing it every night?

[Jameson]

Yeah, almost every night. We do go to bed at the same time, so we're able to chat a little before we go to bed.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, but do you ever, like one night, like, ah, here we go.

[Jameson]

No, no, because I. We also know what's coming up. We're pretty good communicators.

[Reza Farahan]

Sorry, Jeff. If you're doing it regularly, it's. There's not gonna be some big like, oh my God, something coming up.

[Taylor Dane]

Is he even in a relationship now?

[Reza Farahan]

Yes.

[Taylor Dane]

Really?

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you looking at me?

[Taylor Dane]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm seeing somebody.

[Taylor Dane]

Seeing.

[Reza Farahan]

He's a wonderful.

[Taylor Dane]

He's a wonderful man.

[Reza Farahan]

Yes, I've met him.

[Taylor Dane]

Do you communicate?

[Reza Farahan]

A few times. And I very much enjoyed his company,

[Jeff Lewis]

which is why it's working. Just say that.

[Taylor Dane]

Mitch, what do I always say to you? Less is more, Less is more.

[Jeff Lewis]

Less is more.

[Mitch]

Expect less.

[Reza Farahan]

We're too old.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's why you don't want the drama. I really don't. Just. Excellent piece. Thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Jeff Lewis live every weekday on Sirius XM as well as the Jeff Lewis Channel, exclusively on the SiriusXM app.

[Morgan Stewart]

Hey everyone, it's me, Morgan Stewart, and I have a new podcast called the Morgan Stewart Show. Join me each week as I talk about pop culture, fashion, my personal life and just a warning, I'm gonna be giving my opinion on everything. I'll also have some really fun guests to join in on the. The Morgan Stewart show is out now. Listen and follow wherever you get your podcasts or watch full video on YouTube.

[Taylor Dane]

Oh, joy.

[Reza Farahan]

Another day, another buzz delayed.

[Morgan Stewart]

Look on the bright side, you can

[Taylor Dane]

finally catch up on podcasts. You don't mind running late.

[Jeff Lewis]

What's your deal?

[Morgan Stewart]

What's my deal? I saved at Metro with no activation Fees. I got one line of 5G for just $25 a month. Kept the phone I love and a 5 year price guarantee for my talk text and data.

[Taylor Dane]

Only $25. I'm going to Metro when we hop off. Get that more for your money feeling only a Metro by T Mobile. Just bring your number.

[Pharmaceutical Advertiser]

$30 first month and 25 after with auto pay price guarantee exceptions apply.

[Taylor Dane]

Seaside for details.