Tim Bagley and Mercedes Javid: Goats & Mom Hacks

Summary

Podcast Summary: Jeff Lewis Has Issues – "Tim Bagley and Mercedes Javid: Goats & Mom Hacks"

Release Date: May 20, 2026
Host: Jeff Lewis (with regular crew: Shane, Jameson; guests: Tim Bagley, Mercedes Javid)

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Overview

In this lively, unscripted episode, Jeff Lewis welcomes actor Tim Bagley and reality star/realtor Mercedes Javid (MJ) to dig into neighborhood drama, local news, parenting hacks, and revelations about their personal and professional lives. The discussion is witty, irreverent, and touches on everything from hidden Calabasas affairs and wild goats to mom-group schemes and colonoscopies. The hosts and guests are unfiltered, playful, and occasionally provocative—true to the show’s reputation.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Tim Bagley Mix-Ups and Dayminders

[01:17–04:29]

• Tim’s scheduling mishap: Tim Bagley jokes about mistakenly showing up a day early, admitting excitement led to the mix-up.
  • Tim: “I was excited to be here.” [01:45]
• Old-school vs digital planners: The group commiserates about preferring “week-at-a-glance” physical calendars, with Jeff admitting he keeps old planners to jog his memory.
  • Jeff: “I keep them...it’s kind of fun to look back—‘Oh my God, I did that!’” [03:21]
  • Tim: “I’m not interested in looking backwards, Jeff.” [03:35]
• Tax advice: Jeff warns to keep planners for 8–9 years in case of IRS audits.

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Lens Wipe Obsessions & Accolades

[04:29–07:17]

• Lens wipes dispute: Multiple types, favorite levels of wetness, and the distribution game is discussed.
  • Jeff: “SiriusXM’s one of the only things we get for free, so we take advantage.” [05:34]
• Fangirling Tim Bagley: Jameson admits he’s a fan of Tim’s work on “The Comeback,” with Tim embracing the compliment despite Jeff’s teasing.
  • Tim: “I enjoy accolades. When someone gives me flowers, it makes me feel—don’t ruin this for me.” [06:13]

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Tim’s Upcoming “Carrie” Series & Acting Range

[07:17–09:35]

• Tim’s dramatic role: Tim previews his shift from comedy to a dramatic role as a guidance counselor/ally in Amazon’s new “Carrie” (directed by Mike Flanagan), while respecting his NDA, but teases its intense and scary nature.
  • Tim: “All I can say is it’s really good…really scary and fantastic.” [08:10]
• Discussion on “The Comeback”: The group reminisces on the beloved series’ run, its long hiatuses, and Lisa Kudrow’s character growth.
  • Tim: “You see her growth as a character…kind of feels right to end it.” [10:02]

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Neighborhood Gossip: The Acorn, Drug Busts & Affairs

[12:16–19:03]

• Mercedes breaks ‘news’: She describes a local fentanyl bust highly publicized in “The Acorn,” her Calabasas community newspaper.
  • Mercedes: “40 pounds of fentanyl distributed at MacArthur Park. That made me very mad.” [13:06]
• Affair in the community: MJ recounts catching two neighbors in an affair after school drop-off; speculation about recording devices and the psychology behind public displays.
  • Mercedes: “I hid under my hat…I don’t go outside and see.” [17:59]
  • Tim: “If you’re kissing in public, there’s a part of you that is looking to get out.” [16:55]
• Goats in Calabasas: The group debates wild goats versus coyotes until someone confirms goats are used for wildfire prevention.
  • Mercedes: “You can see goats in my neighborhood.” [18:25]

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Fashion & Mental Health: Carpool Attire and Clinical Depression

[21:03–22:15]

• MJ’s outfit confessions: Mercedes admits often dressing poorly for carpool, blames “clinical depression,” and is encouraged to see a doctor (with a self-effacing shoutout to her spray-tanner/estate manager/friend).
  • Mercedes: “Most days I look like a homeless person… I think I’m just climbing out of it now.” [21:14/21:53]
  • Tim: “That sounds like clinical depression.” [21:37]

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Caller Chaos: Chump VIP Fandom & Marital Strife

[22:16–27:33]

• Kathleen calls in: A diehard fan laments her husband “Ricky Titties” not understanding her devotion to the “Chump” fandom (Jeff Lewis devotees), revealing she only wants VIP show tickets for herself.
  • Kathleen: “I don’t give a shit if he goes or not… He needs to understand why I need to go to every event.” [24:46]
  • Tim (trying to broker peace): “If you tell Ricky Titties you’re not going to this one out of respect for his request, but you want to bank those other two…” [26:32]
  • Caller hangs up, much to the group's amusement.

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Neighborhood Scandal: Hookups & Police Visits

[27:37–31:46]

• Bryant in Nashville calls: He reports watching police bust an overweight couple having sex in a Toyota Corolla near his home.
  • Bryant: “Let’s just say it was a California Raisin; there were more rolls…” [28:39]
• The group debates: How much Bryant watched, the logistics of backseat passion, and if this warrants a police call.
  • Jeff: “But what’s interesting is that Bryant watched from start to finish before he called the police in a front row.” [31:40]

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Jamie Kennedy’s House—The Mystery Well

[36:16–40:39]

• Mercedes updates on Jamie Kennedy: She’s visiting him post-episode, bringing coffee and donuts.
• The Well: They discuss Jamie’s new home with a 30-foot concrete well/tunnel, possibly a “leech pit” (wastewater filter), or, as Jack Osbourne joked, a “portal.” Various wild theories emerge.
  • Tim: “Why would somebody build a well?” [38:38]
  • Jeff: “Maybe put the hose in there… turn it on.” [40:39]

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Mom Hacks, Point Schemes, & Mean Girl Drama

[46:12–47:46]

• Credit card hacks: Mercedes’ mom group deals with a member who always puts the group bill on her Amex for travel points—causing resentment.
  • Jeff: “I think she’s entrepreneurial. She’s enterprising.” [47:24]
  • Tim: “It sounds like a really little group of mean girl moms.” [47:40]

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Personal Updates: Colonoscopies & Co-Parenting

[47:53–50:21]

• Colonoscopy talk: Tim reports a clean bill of health; Jeff and Jameson discuss their own experiences and screening timelines.
  • Tim: “No, I didn’t have any polyps. Clean bill of health.” [48:00/48:02]
• Mercedes on co-parenting and separation: She admits things are “going really well” with ex Tommy currently, playfully asks for edits on the upcoming season of “Flipping Out,” and credits coparenting events with helping.
  • Mercedes: “Things are going so well right now…Shams (her son) is so happy.” [49:12/49:46]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On accidental fangirling:
  • Tim Bagley: “Don’t ruin this for me.” [06:13]
• Mercedes, on Calabasas crime reporting:
  • "Well, it was a big story. 40 pounds of fentanyl being distributed at MacArthur Park." [13:06]
• On catching an affair:
  • Mercedes: “I hid under my hat…I don’t go outside and see.” [17:59]
  • Tim Bagley: “If you’re kissing in public…you’re looking to get out.” [16:55]
• On “mean girl” moms:
  • Tim Bagley: “It sounds like a really little group of mean girl moms.” [47:40]
• On colonoscopies and clinical depression:
  • Tim: “That sounds like clinical depression.” [21:37]
  • Jeff: “Did you have any polyps?” [47:59]
  • Tim: “No. Clean bill of health.” [48:00–48:02]
• Kathleen the “Chump” Fan:
  • “I don’t give a shit if he goes or not…He needs to understand why I need to go every event.” [24:46]

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Episode Highlights by Timestamp

• [01:17] Tim Bagley arrives a day early—calendar misadventures
• [04:30] Lens wipes and SiriusXM freebie culture
• [06:13] Jameson fangirls Tim ("Don’t ruin this for me.")
• [07:33] Tim’s “Carrie” series (Amazon) preview
• [09:47] The “Comeback” retrospective
• [13:06] The Acorn & fentanyl bust
• [16:08] Mercedes spots affair in community (“I see you?”)
• [18:25] Goats in Calabasas — fact or fiction
• [21:53] Mercedes discusses clinical depression
• [22:27] Kathleen, the impassioned “Chump” caller
• [28:39] Bryant calls about a public hookup—“California Raisin” incident
• [36:16] Jamie Kennedy’s well: is it a portal, bomb shelter, or leech pit?
• [46:12] Mom “points” hack divides the Calabasas crew
• [47:53] Colonoscopy follow-ups
• [49:02] Mercedes and Tommy’s current coparenting truce

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Tone & Style

The episode is vivid, quick-witted, and brimming with playful jabs and vulnerable admissions. The hosts’ chemistry with the guests equals entertainment gold, delivering genuine laughs alongside surprisingly candid moments about mental health, divorce, and aging. Community gossip, pop-culture, and self-deprecating humor abound—an engaging listen for fans and newcomers alike.

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For more Jeff Lewis, tune in weekdays on SiriusXM or catch the Jeff Lewis Channel on the SiriusXM app.

Transcript

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[Mercedes Javid]

When you're Jeff Lewis, the drama never stops.

[Jeff Lewis]

For the last is a decade, you've been covering disasters. That's right. That's why he's here.

[Bryant (Caller)]

The math ain't mathin' and the gay ain't gayin'.

[Jeff Lewis]

Later. You're gonna need to do maintenance to be attracted.

[Mercedes Javid]

For who?

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, for us.

[Kathleen (Caller)]

Jeff Lewis has issues.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hey, welcome to Jeff Lewis has Issues. In today's episode, Tim Bagley and Mercedes Javit join the show. We talk about goats running wild, Mother's day plans and clever mom hacks. Good morning.

[Tim Bagley]

Good morning.

[Jeff Lewis]

Welcome back, Tim. Thank you for showing up on the right day this time. For those of you that don't know, Tim was here yesterday. He showed up bright and early. However, he was not scheduled for yesterday, he was scheduled for today.

[Tim Bagley]

Yes, that happens sometimes. And I'm about two years from wandering around Anaheim in my underpants. So here we go.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, was it a. Was it a. It was a publicist mistake. Is that correct?

[Tim Bagley]

No, it was my mistake.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, it was your mistake.

[Tim Bagley]

It was my mistake. I clearly, when I looked at. Yeah, I have an old timey calendar, but I looked at my old timey calendar, it was clearly Friday, but I was there on Thursday. And so it was my mistake, but I think it was just that I was excited to be here.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, that.

[McDonald's Announcer]

You got here early?

[Tim Bagley]

I think so.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did you run into Doug Buten? Because he's scheduled for next week and he usually gets here a few days early.

[Tim Bagley]

No, no, I didn't run into him.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, how do you like the lens

[Mercedes Javid]

wipes that you're talking about?

[Tim Bagley]

Wait, what?

[Mercedes Javid]

You said the old time calendar. What is it?

[Jeff Lewis]

Physical Dayminder? Yeah, that's what I have.

[Tim Bagley]

Yeah, that's what I have.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you have one too?

[Mercedes Javid]

I love to write Things down. I think that's so.

[Tim Bagley]

But that's not answering the question.

[Shane]

I love writing.

[Tim Bagley]

Do you do your phone or do you do the regular old timey calendar?

[Mercedes Javid]

I have both. I prefer the old time.

[Tim Bagley]

Oh, okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yep. I can't exist without it.

[Tim Bagley]

Yeah, I like it. I like to see things. I'm very visual, Jeff.

[Jeff Lewis]

Same, same. So let me ask you about your dayminder because they have the ones where the entire day is on two pages and then you have one. The week at a glance. I use week at a glance. I got to see the whole week.

[Tim Bagley]

I use week at a glance myself. And I have done that one year, a couple years. I've done it where you get two pages at a time. But I actually like to see the whole week same. So I know what is happening. You can see the whole week like that.

[Jeff Lewis]

Like that. Is that the same thing you have?

[Tim Bagley]

No, I have a smaller one. I have a smaller one.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, Shane carries my at a glance around.

[Tim Bagley]

Oh.

[Jeff Lewis]

So I can do the larger one now. Do you keep the ones from previous years? Because I have dementia. So I can look back and it's kind of fun to look back. I'm like, oh, my God, I went there, I did that. I met this person. Do you ever do that, look back at your old ones?

[Tim Bagley]

No, I'm not interested in looking backwards, Jeff.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, focus on the future.

[Tim Bagley]

Here's what I do. I save them. I think it's seven years. You're supposed to save your taxes and stuff, so I save them just in case. But then the minute I, you know, I hit that seven year period, I get rid of them.

[Jeff Lewis]

You actually should save it just a little longer. Really, like eight or nine years. Because when I got audited years and years and years ago, they actually had to go back to year eight and they went back to year eight and so. Right, exactly. So sometimes if the irs, you know, they say that. So even though it was for the seventh year, they had gone back one more year, so. And I didn't have all the documentation, which.

[Tim Bagley]

Yeah, good to know.

[Jeff Lewis]

Good to know. So keep it a few more years.

[Tim Bagley]

I will take that note.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you should have dayminders from eight or nine years back. All right, now, lens wipes. We got new ones.

[Tim Bagley]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

How do you feel about them, Tim?

[Tim Bagley]

I enjoyed it. I used it to clean my phone and I feel like it's a really lovely parting gift.

[Jeff Lewis]

It is. Now these are pre moistened.

[Tim Bagley]

Yeah, it was pre moistened. And it smells good and it feels fresh.

[Jeff Lewis]

It does. And I think you would like these a lot better than the other ones. The other ones were too wet.

[Jameson]

Yeah. So this is a different supplier. This one is in a foil package, and I'm enjoying them, I have to tell you.

[Jeff Lewis]

So these are your favorite.

[Jameson]

I am enjoying.

[Jeff Lewis]

Of all three brands.

[Jameson]

Yes. It's the right amount of wetness and it's giving me the cleansing I need.

[Jeff Lewis]

Mercedes, do you have any feedback?

[Mercedes Javid]

I have one of each, so I feel like I should save these because one is wow fresh and one is a sightsaver. One has a sheen and it's glossy, and I just match.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think you go for the sightsaver.

[Mercedes Javid]

Okay. Because I was thinking one of these is like the ones you get at the Crab House. The Maryland Crab House. When you have lobsters and. No.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, yeah. That's like a wet wipe. That's not. Yeah.

[Mercedes Javid]

Lemony.

[Jeff Lewis]

These are specific, not the same categories and phones.

[Mercedes Javid]

We can't use them for.

[Jeff Lewis]

Tim, did you fall asleep?

[Tim Bagley]

No, I just think that you should use them because if you want, I'm sure that Jeff will give you more.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, SiriusXM is one of the only things we get for free, so we do take advantage. I pass them out to everyone every day.

[Shane]

We also could stop in the photo booth.

[Jeff Lewis]

I want to apologize for Jameson. I have to do this often. Were you here? We need the.

[Mercedes Javid]

Yeah.

[Tim Bagley]

What?

[Jeff Lewis]

Tim, I just want to tell you, I don't want to make this weird, but I just want to tell you I'm a really big fan. No, no, no, no, no. Yes, you did. Yes, you did.

[Jameson]

That's not true. And I never say anything. I usually keep my big fat mouth shut, but I want to give Tim his flowers because I'm a huge fan of the Comeback and I'm loving him on the season.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're making this weird now.

[Mercedes Javid]

No.

[Jameson]

Every actor loves accolades.

[Tim Bagley]

No, no, no. And, Jeff, please don't ruin this for me. I enjoy accolades. When somebody gives me flowers, it makes me feel. Don't ruin this for me.

[Jeff Lewis]

It is a rule here.

[Jameson]

I keep it cool. I never say anything.

[Jeff Lewis]

I really don't like when the team fangirls out on actors and actresses here.

[Tim Bagley]

It wouldn't kill you to give me a compliment.

[Jeff Lewis]

Give me a little time. Actually, I will tell you, I'm very excited. So I've been following this new Carrie series. I heard about it when it was announced, and I'm very excited to watch it. I think it's a Zach Noe Towers, Jeff Lewis kind of interest. Yeah, that's kind of our thing, so I was surprised to hear you were involved. Yes, And I'll tell you why. I don't see you as a dramatic actor. I guess everything I've seen you in. You're very funny. I see you as a comedic actor, so I'm interested to see you in a dramatic role.

[Tim Bagley]

Well, Jeff, there's so much you don't know about.

[Jeff Lewis]

You just gotta. So multifaceted.

[Tim Bagley]

So many surprises.

[Jeff Lewis]

This weird.

[Jameson]

No, Jeff, you're fangirling now, okay?

[Tim Bagley]

No, no, no, no.

[Mercedes Javid]

Can you give context about this Carrie? Is it the remake of the Sissy Spacek?

[Tim Bagley]

Well, it's a series. It's a eight episode series and I'm in six of them. And it's with Mike Flanagan, who's, you know, this brilliant, brilliant movie maker and writer and director. And I had an incredible experience and I think it's coming out in October.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm excited. So you play. Do you play Carrie's father?

[Tim Bagley]

No, I play her. The school guidance counselor and her ally. Oh.

[Jeff Lewis]

But does she kill you, too?

[Tim Bagley]

I'm not gonna say that.

[Jeff Lewis]

I bet she does.

[Tim Bagley]

No, I can't say that.

[Shane]

She blow up 50 years, doesn't she

[Jeff Lewis]

blow up the whole town?

[Tim Bagley]

You know what? You have to read the Stephen King book to get that answer out of me.

[Jeff Lewis]

Because I think. Doesn't. She doesn't. It's not just the school that blows up. Isn't it? I think it's the whole town.

[Mercedes Javid]

Can't the TV series stray from the original story?

[Jeff Lewis]

Sure, yeah, they could do that. So in the first episode, is that when it all goes down? And then they. Like four months ago.

[Tim Bagley]

You know what? I really cannot talk about Carrie at this juncture. I really can't. They've told me I signed an NDA and I don't want to get myself in trouble. All I can say is it's really good. It's very well written. The acting was really good. The girl that they got to play Carrie is this very young actress and she was just brilliant. And it's, you know, Samantha Sloan plays her mother and she's brilliant and it's really scary and fantastic.

[Jeff Lewis]

I can't wait for it. It's on Amazon.

[Mercedes Javid]

I'm excited.

[Tim Bagley]

Amazon.

[Jeff Lewis]

October. So you have to come back.

[Tim Bagley]

I will.

[Jeff Lewis]

I know you like to come every year and a half. No, but you should come back and promote Carrie, but also the Comeback. So I watched season one and two, then there was a long pause before three came out. I've been checking and I've watched like maybe two episodes of the Comeback so far. I've just been kind of catching it up here and there. But you're in that as well.

[Tim Bagley]

Yes, I am. I'm in six of the eight episodes of that.

[Mercedes Javid]

That's awesome.

[Jeff Lewis]

Go ahead, Jameson. No, go ahead.

[Jameson]

I have nothing to say.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm such a fan of the Comeback.

[Tim Bagley]

Go ahead.

[Jameson]

So fun. The Comeback is just such a great show, and it's from season to season. It's great. And this is the last one, right?

[Tim Bagley]

Well, this is the last season. Yes.

[Mercedes Javid]

Right.

[Jameson]

Only three. Three and done.

[Mercedes Javid]

Why did she decide to do that? Because I heard Lisa Kudrow talking about not bringing it back further.

[Tim Bagley]

Well, it's. They. They had one. The first one was actually canceled after the first season, and then it was brought back 10 years after that, and then 10 years later, the third, and it's kind of, you know, in three, you know, and it's. You see her growth as a character, and you see. I mean, it's just. I don't want to say too much about the ending, because there's one more episode left, but if you've been watching it, you see that her character is growing, and it kind of feels right, I think, to end it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did you sign an NDA on that one, too?

[Mercedes Javid]

Right?

[Tim Bagley]

Well, I did, but I can talk about it. I can talk about what's already aired.

[Jameson]

What's so heartwarming is Lisa Kudrow's character, Valerie Cherish. She just wants it to work so bad. Whatever it is, she just wants it to work. She's trying her hardest.

[Jeff Lewis]

Can you relate to that?

[Jameson]

We can all relate to that.

[Tim Bagley]

I can tell.

[Jameson]

We just want it to go. And it's very relatable in that capacity. And Tim's character in this season's super fun.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you want his autograph now, or do you want to wait till I.

[Jameson]

No, no, no, I'll wait. I'll just attack him in the parking garage.

[Mercedes Javid]

Tim, are you single? Are you single?

[Tim Bagley]

I am single.

[Mercedes Javid]

Okay, then. There you go. Go to the bathroom afterwards.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Jameson]

Well, not single.

[Tim Bagley]

Why are you taking it there?

[Jeff Lewis]

Why do you take it there?

[Mercedes Javid]

Well, he said he needs a private.

[Tim Bagley]

I don't know how they do things in Calabasas, but, you know, believe it or not, we're not in the 60s where things were taken to bathrooms. And, you know, that's where people used to meet, like back in, you know, like the 60s, maybe mid-70s.

[Mercedes Javid]

What about a studio? There are a lot of other studios that aren't being used right now. Right.

[Shane]

I think she's. I think she's been single For a while.

[Jeff Lewis]

What are we talking about?

[Jameson]

I don't know, but I'm not single, so this is not gonna work out for me.

[Tim Bagley]

I was trying to sleep a little.

[Mercedes Javid]

Friday delight.

[Jeff Lewis]

He has a boyfriend.

[Mercedes Javid]

Who cares?

[Tim Bagley]

And also, Mercedes, I am not a whore. We can start with that.

[Mercedes Javid]

I mean, Jameson is a catch.

[Tim Bagley]

Yeah, he is a catch, and so are you, but he's been. Well, thank you, Mercedes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, during our morning conference room breakfast, we were discussing. Mercedes was talking about something that happened that she felt we all should have known about. And apparently there was some sort of drug bust in her very affluent community. Was it a nanny or was it a housekeeper?

[Mercedes Javid]

It was a nanny.

[Jeff Lewis]

Right. And so she was talking about it as if we should know all the details because it was in the acorn.

[Tim Bagley]

Yeah, the acorn.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, I don't. I didn't know what the acorn was.

[Tim Bagley]

Nobody does. No, it's apparently the local paper in Calabasas. So the people of Calabasas know.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't live in Calabasas.

[Tim Bagley]

I don't either.

[Jeff Lewis]

So I don't know about the acorn.

[Tim Bagley]

I don't know anything about the acorn. And she was talking about the acorn like, we all should breed this light.

[Shane]

Like it was the New York Times.

[Tim Bagley]

Yeah, right. Yeah.

[Mercedes Javid]

Well, it was a big story. 40 pounds of fentanyl being distributed at MacArthur Park. That. That made me very mad.

[Shane]

Oh, I did hear about that.

[Mercedes Javid]

Yeah. That was really. That didn't make me feel safe to.

[Jeff Lewis]

So what? So it was not in your gated community.

[Shane]

That could not be Farther from Calabasas MacArthur part.

[Mercedes Javid]

No, but they distribute it. They found it there. Oh, where they found the fentanyl. 40 pounds of fentanyl? Yes. In the same. Like, in the same community by where we live.

[Tim Bagley]

Oh, in Calabasas.

[Mercedes Javid]

Yes.

[Tim Bagley]

Oh, but they were distributing it in MacArthur park to the people that get their drugs at MacArthur Park.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did they find it in your gated community?

[Mercedes Javid]

No, no, thank God. But close to where Tommy lives because

[Jeff Lewis]

you made it sound like it was right next door. Do you remember that?

[Tim Bagley]

Yes, she did. And also, like, it was affecting her life personally. Is this your nanny? Is it your nanny?

[Jeff Lewis]

I know.

[Mercedes Javid]

Do you have a nanny? Thank God, no.

[Tim Bagley]

Well, who's the nanny?

[Mercedes Javid]

I mean, I can't blow up someone else's spot. It'll probably come out later, but it's someone.

[Tim Bagley]

Did you tell somebody in Calabasas A nanny that lives in Calabasas?

[Mercedes Javid]

Not anymore. She better be locked up.

[Jeff Lewis]

I feel like I need to start reading the acorn.

[Tim Bagley]

Oh, I feel like we're missing out.

[Mercedes Javid]

The acorn.

[Tim Bagley]

Well, it's.

[Jameson]

They've got news, neighbors, opinions on the town crime community. There's a lot in the acorn. And of course, obituaries.

[Mercedes Javid]

Oh, well, that's good for me, too.

[Tim Bagley]

Well, I feel like.

[Jeff Lewis]

Why? So you look for their homes?

[Mercedes Javid]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, would you like an ambulance?

[Mercedes Javid]

Yeah. Or maybe if it's like the woman died, then I can go for the man.

[Tim Bagley]

Oh, boy. Just kidding.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's at an all time low now.

[Tim Bagley]

Well, you know, there's a bathroom.

[Mercedes Javid]

Maybe there's a bathroom at the ACORN headquarters, but.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did you tell Tim about that? You, Detective Javid has uncovered an affair that's happening in your community.

[Mercedes Javid]

Oh, that's another terrible thing. Okay.

[Tim Bagley]

Did you sign an NDA?

[Mercedes Javid]

I didn't, actually.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, then you were not about it. Tell us.

[Mercedes Javid]

So after drop off, every morning, I come back and I grab my puppy

[Tim Bagley]

and I drop off at MacArthur Park. Wait, drop off? Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Explain what drop off is.

[Tim Bagley]

Drop off.

[Mercedes Javid]

I drop off my son at school.

[Tim Bagley]

Oh, okay.

[Mercedes Javid]

First grade. And I go right back home and I grab my puppy. She's 10. And we go.

[Jeff Lewis]

I was wondering how old the puppy was.

[Tim Bagley]

You know, Me too. I wonder if the acorn is on the.

[Jeff Lewis]

But I wouldn't call her a puppy if she's 10.

[Tim Bagley]

Oh, no, I wouldn't either.

[Mercedes Javid]

Yeah, she's spry and she prances like a puppy. Exactly. Little chihuahua.

[Tim Bagley]

But she's 10.

[Mercedes Javid]

Yes, but she's very young at heart. So we're walking, and we walk around my gated community. So the people who live in the community are also walking around in their yoga outfits.

[Tim Bagley]

Okay.

[Mercedes Javid]

One of them goes up, embraces the other, gives them a long kiss. Like the kind that you imagine in front of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.

[Tim Bagley]

Okay, okay.

[Mercedes Javid]

That kind. And then she kisses him back. And then they go two separate directions. Only thing is that they both have significant others.

[Jeff Lewis]

They're married. Both of them.

[Mercedes Javid]

One is engaged and the other one is boyfriend, girlfriend.

[Jeff Lewis]

And they live in the community.

[Mercedes Javid]

In the community?

[Jeff Lewis]

But they're having an affair.

[Mercedes Javid]

Yes. I've seen Desperate Housewives. Yes.

[Tim Bagley]

Did you call the acorn?

[Royal Caribbean Announcer]

Wow.

[Mercedes Javid]

I was shook.

[Shane]

Why were they taking the street?

[Mercedes Javid]

It's not in the street. It's more like the park, like grounds.

[Tim Bagley]

The what?

[Jeff Lewis]

The park. Grounds.

[Mercedes Javid]

Park, like grounds.

[Jeff Lewis]

So it's somewhat private, but public.

[Mercedes Javid]

It is. I mean, it's open.

[Jeff Lewis]

They want to get caught.

[Tim Bagley]

Tim, you know, I was thinking that if you're kissing in public.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yep.

[Tim Bagley]

There's A part of you that is

[Jeff Lewis]

looking to get out.

[Tim Bagley]

To get out.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yep.

[Tim Bagley]

Yeah. So who are they?

[Mercedes Javid]

Okay, so I thought about it, and I was like, all these people, they have in front of their house's ring devices. And if you want to, you can just tap in and listen. Right. And then that husband from Rory, Real Housewives of Rhode Island. He was just caught by installing heat sheets, and he installs. Yes. Recording devices in his home so that he can spy on his wife while she's at home alone having conversations.

[Tim Bagley]

Is that legal? Is that legal?

[Jeff Lewis]

No.

[Mercedes Javid]

No.

[Jeff Lewis]

So purpose. So they're purposely going outside and making out so that way it's. They're not on camera.

[Mercedes Javid]

Yeah, because we have a gym and a pool and a couple of pools.

[Jeff Lewis]

But when they kissed, did you get the vibe like, they've already had sex?

[Mercedes Javid]

It's. Yeah. Absolutely.

[Jeff Lewis]

Absolutely.

[Tim Bagley]

Did you. Was there any part of you that wanted to say, I see you?

[Mercedes Javid]

Yes.

[Tim Bagley]

But you didn't. You held back.

[Mercedes Javid]

I pretended I hid under my hat. I don't go outside and see.

[Tim Bagley]

Oh, they couldn't see you under the hat.

[Mercedes Javid]

They didn't.

[Tim Bagley]

That's smart. That's good. That's good. If you can't see them, why on earth would they be able to see you?

[Jameson]

It was her invisible cloak hat.

[Tim Bagley]

I get it. I really get it. I get it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Was there anyone else in the park?

[Mercedes Javid]

Nobody else. It wasn't a park. It was in the community. It's just like a bike path with grass and, like, mountains and good things. Like, you can see goats in my neighborhood. Things like that. Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Why are you annoyed we're asking you questions?

[Mercedes Javid]

I feel like it's so gross because I personally feel offended when somebody. That means those other two people were at work.

[Jeff Lewis]

Sad and.

[Mercedes Javid]

Yeah. Like, it makes me lose faith in people that they're doing that and the other person is somewhere out in the world trying to, you know, do the right thing. And their spouses or boyfriends or girlfriends are just.

[Jeff Lewis]

Or maybe they're all miserable.

[Tim Bagley]

You don't really know their situation. They might be in polyamorous, open situations.

[Jeff Lewis]

You don't really know in Calabasas.

[Tim Bagley]

No.

[Shane]

Secret lives of Mormon wives. That was the whole thing. They're all swingers. All these people that you think are at home with their.

[Tim Bagley]

With their. Okay, now I'm wondering if you saw a picture, if you would know the difference between a goat and a coyote.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're right. Not a lot of goats in California.

[Tim Bagley]

I just don't see them wandering around.

[Mercedes Javid]

Herds of them. I'll Send photos.

[Jeff Lewis]

Goats check the acorn in gated communities.

[Tim Bagley]

I'm surprised they don't write about this in the acorn.

[Jeff Lewis]

It is. It is something they are missing.

[Mercedes Javid]

It's. It's part of. It's not part of where I live. The houses are not big enough. It's just like a townhouse community. But the ones that have the. The ranches, they have the ghost.

[Tim Bagley]

But the goats just wander around or do they. Do they. Are they gated?

[Mercedes Javid]

They actually also in the acorn was when the goats went on to Morrow.

[Jeff Lewis]

We don't read it. We don't read it.

[Tim Bagley]

So we don't know. Morrow. We don't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

We don't know about the acorn.

[Jameson]

In MJ's defense, according to the Internet, yes, there are goats in Calabasas, commonly used for brush clearance and wildfire prevention.

[Tim Bagley]

Thank you.

[Jeff Lewis]

That could be a beautiful human interest story.

[Mercedes Javid]

That's when they went.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, they're the goats.

[Jameson]

That was.

[Mercedes Javid]

That would be dated a couple of weeks ago.

[Shane]

Oh my God, they're so cool.

[Tim Bagley]

They look like they're caught in that. A bit of a traffic jam.

[Jeff Lewis]

This is on Murrow road near the

[Shane]

101 Freeway in Calamasis.

[Jeff Lewis]

The goats were brought in to graze on the dried out vegetation along the road, which helps prevent wildfires.

[Tim Bagley]

They were surrounded by.

[Jeff Lewis]

Great idea.

[Mercedes Javid]

They don't look like coyotes to you?

[Tim Bagley]

No, but I. No, but I did see three different dogs.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, mixed in with the goats.

[Tim Bagley]

Yeah, mixed in with the goats.

[Jeff Lewis]

They're close to the freeway. Tim, do you see that?

[Tim Bagley]

Well, that's Morrow Road. Yes, that's Morrow Road. Right.

[Jeff Lewis]

Which runs parallel to the 101.

[Mercedes Javid]

That's how we get to school every morning.

[Jeff Lewis]

Morrow Road.

[Tim Bagley]

After the drop off or before the drop off on the way to the drop off?

[Mercedes Javid]

Both, actually.

[Jeff Lewis]

And you were saying that you want to kind of update or you want to elevate your carpool look.

[Mercedes Javid]

My carpool?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes. Like what do you wear to carpool? Oh, when you're driving, dropping off.

[Mercedes Javid]

I mean, I look like a homeless person. What are you talking about? I look crazy. So I want to commit to getting dressed and being more presentable more days of the week than I actually do.

[Tim Bagley]

What you're wearing right now is lovely and appropriate, so why not that?

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, I'm wondering how many days. How many days are you not getting dressed?

[Mercedes Javid]

Most. For real.

[Tim Bagley]

That sounds like clinical depression.

[Mercedes Javid]

Yes, that is. Why shout out to Dr. Monica Casey for helping me get it together.

[Tim Bagley]

Oh, boy.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's a doctor now.

[Mercedes Javid]

She's.

[Shane]

I Thought she's a spray tanner.

[Mercedes Javid]

She's his friend. Our friend.

[Shane]

And estate manager.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's an estate manager.

[Mercedes Javid]

Oh, and our dear friend. So she. You know, people don't tell you enough. Like, people don't grab you and shake you and tell you you've got to go to the doctor, get your blood panel, get the results, find out what's wrong with you. And I really was. I think I'm just climbing out of it now.

[Tim Bagley]

Like, clinical depression, 100%.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, you nailed that, Tim.

[Tim Bagley]

Well, you know, I've got a lot

[Jeff Lewis]

of insightful, intuitive now. Kathleen in Colorado, she upset about something. Line two. She met at. Tim, Kathleen.

[Kathleen (Caller)]

Hi, Jeff.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hey, what's going on?

[Kathleen (Caller)]

Hi, Jeff. We have a problem.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Kathleen (Caller)]

Okay. You need to do an emergency PSA for all these damn husbands who don't know, don't understand what it means to be a chump when we are chumps. We are chumps to the core.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes.

[Kathleen (Caller)]

We follow. We. We. It's important. We're chumps. It's a part of our life.

[Jeff Lewis]

What's going on with your husband?

[Kathleen (Caller)]

Okay. I was a VIP at Brea. I was a VVIP in Phoenix. I wanted to get tickets to San Francisco. Yes, because you've already been to it in December and March, and they don't understand. It's different. It's different show going some. Thank you. Different people, different show. We need to support. We need activism. What is going on? The world is falling apart.

[Jeff Lewis]

I totally agree with you. What's your husband's name?

[Kathleen (Caller)]

We call them Ricky Titties. And by the way. And by the way, I'm the one who. I'm the one who gave you the Toby pajamas and sent all the gifts.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, thank you so much for that. So, Ricky Titties? Is that what you said?

[Kathleen (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. I'm assuming he has. Does he have moobs or.

[Kathleen (Caller)]

Because I have. I have. I have a lesbian friend who has no titties. And she goes, jesus, your husband's got bigger titties than I do.

[Jeff Lewis]

And that. Okay, so then he earned that nickname. I see. How long you been married?

[Kathleen (Caller)]

31. No. Wonderful years. I still love him, but he doesn't get what it means to be a chump.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Tim Bagley]

Have you tried to include him in your interest? Have you ever played him little segments? Little segments. Play him segments that you think he might find interesting. See if you can't get him to be a chump.

[Kathleen (Caller)]

You're. Mm. You're the only thing that is on in my car. And when it's not on the car. I put it on my phone and do playbacks. It's all I listen to.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. Eventually, we will suck him in and he will. He will attend live events with you?

[Shane]

I think so.

[Tim Bagley]

Share something with him that you like, that you think he might like, and then maybe he can understand when you go to these events.

[Kathleen (Caller)]

You're missing the point. I don't give a shit if he goes or not.

[Tim Bagley]

I missed that. I didn't understand the rage, quite frankly.

[Kathleen (Caller)]

I don't want to waste my money on that.

[Tim Bagley]

Oh, right.

[Kathleen (Caller)]

I'm coming in because I'm coming in from Colorado every trip. He needs to understand why I need to go every event.

[Tim Bagley]

Okay. Yes.

[Mercedes Javid]

She doesn't want to pay two airline tickets.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, I get it. I totally get it.

[Tim Bagley]

I get it now.

[Jeff Lewis]

I get it. Okay.

[Tim Bagley]

Forgive me, right?

[Jeff Lewis]

I hope you can work that out with him. And so we're not going to see you in San Francisco, Kathleen?

[Mercedes Javid]

No. She wants you to convince her husband.

[Kathleen (Caller)]

Well, the tickets, the good tickets are already gone. I don't go unless I can be the vip.

[Jeff Lewis]

Can you do vip? Because I think they are. You can do that upgrade for the vip.

[Shane]

Only if you're a current ticket holder.

[Jeff Lewis]

When I went on, she didn't buy a general admission. Kathleen.

[Shane]

Kathleen, do you have a ticket?

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, Kathleen. What about this?

[Kathleen (Caller)]

No, I didn't do anything yet.

[Jeff Lewis]

In September, we are planning San Diego. In December, we are planning Brea. Can you do one or both of those?

[Kathleen (Caller)]

Yes, as long as I know in time to get vvip.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, fine. All right. DM Shane. DM Shane. We'll give you a heads up. Okay.

[Mercedes Javid]

Kathleen, I think you should still try to go to this one. I don't think you should wait until tickets are sold.

[Jeff Lewis]

How's she gonna go?

[Mercedes Javid]

What do you mean? There's not another tier that she can go?

[Jeff Lewis]

I think they're all sold out. So she's not gonna. She can't go. Okay, well, I have another love.

[Mercedes Javid]

You know what Andy Cohen does? If someone can't go, then they'll call into the radio and then she can. Kathleen can grab the tickets.

[Jeff Lewis]

Or how about they call Tim? Or they DM Tim?

[Shane]

Yes.

[Tim Bagley]

Not necessarily that, but I have a suggestion. What was his name?

[Jeff Lewis]

Titties. Ricky Titties.

[Tim Bagley]

Ricky Titties. If you tell Ricky Titties that you're gonna not go to this one out of respect for his request.

[Jeff Lewis]

Smart.

[Tim Bagley]

But that you want to bank those other two.

[Jeff Lewis]

Smart.

[Tim Bagley]

And then you can get your special tickets.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think she got mad at you specifically, Tim, because she hung up. Yeah, and that was a great idea, though she should have stayed on the line.

[Tim Bagley]

She's probably listening anyway.

[Jeff Lewis]

That was a great idea.

[Shane]

Exactly how she should play it.

[Mercedes Javid]

Do you have any advice for a short fuse Kathleen?

[Tim Bagley]

No, I think that Kathleen is gonna do her own thing no matter what. I. I don't think she was interested in me or my advice.

[Jeff Lewis]

But, Tim, I understand. She's not mad at you. She's mad at Ricky Titties. I know. Which I understand she was projecting on you.

[Tim Bagley]

Ricky Titties doesn't understand what she wants.

[Jeff Lewis]

She. He doesn't understand the chump verse, but neither did you.

[Mercedes Javid]

You didn't understand her needs just now either, did you?

[Tim Bagley]

I. I think I did. Mercedes. Please don't come for me.

[Jeff Lewis]

Mercedes. He came up with a really great plan. Trying to help Kathleen.

[Tim Bagley]

I tried to help her, Mercedes, as I'm trying to help you.

[Jeff Lewis]

Bryant in Nashville, line three. Hey, Bryant.

[Bryant (Caller)]

Hey. How are you?

[Jeff Lewis]

Good. What's up?

[Bryant (Caller)]

So yesterday I'm working. I work from home and I'm just, you know, working away. Listen, on a conference call and these two vehicles, they backed into parking spaces and this guy puts up a window shade and everything. And I'm like, well, this is interesting. I'm like, he didn't live here. And so then this other hooker comes up and she gets backs in too. And they get into the backseat of the vehicle. So. So the police arrive and pull them out of the vehicle. And he's out. They both naked and he's out in all his glory, his dingling. I mean, let's just say it was a California Raisin. Okay. I mean, there were more.

[Jeff Lewis]

Was it a hooker?

[Bryant (Caller)]

I. You know, well, she wasn't pretty, neither was him. And. But it was. I mean, they had more roles on. I mean, if they were not California Raisin, they were definitely a Tootsie Roll. But it was most disgusting thing. Overweight and then I feel like small. Yes, they were very much over.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you talking about his penis or are you saying that they're both. They're both overweight? And then how was his penis?

[Bryant (Caller)]

Well, I mean, you couldn't really see it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Bryant (Caller)]

From my observation. So it could have been a micro penis.

[Jeff Lewis]

I see. Okay.

[Tim Bagley]

How long did you sit there and watch?

[Bryant (Caller)]

Well, I mean, not. I was just like, this is. Well, I couldn't see them having sex because he put up the. The shade. Like they've done this before everything. But I mean, the. The police officer, she got him out of the vehicle and I mean, she was reading in the ride act, so it was. It was.

[Jeff Lewis]

But it sounds like you were watching for a while, Bryant. Right.

[Bryant (Caller)]

Well, I mean, I wasn't really paying attention to my work call, so, yeah, pretty much.

[Jameson]

And just to clarify, what do we mean about the raisin and the tootsie Roll? Are you talking about genitalia?

[Bryant (Caller)]

No, I'm talking about. They had more. They had more roles.

[Jameson]

Oh, they were. Role.

[Bryant (Caller)]

I mean, they.

[Jameson]

They were large.

[Bryant (Caller)]

They were roly poly. I mean, they were like.

[Jeff Lewis]

We didn't get any energy.

[Jameson]

We didn't get it.

[Kathleen (Caller)]

Got it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. Now we get it.

[Mercedes Javid]

But passionate. Very passionate.

[Jeff Lewis]

What kind of car were they in?

[Mercedes Javid]

Good question.

[Kathleen (Caller)]

I mean, you know, kind of like

[Bryant (Caller)]

a broke down, like, Toyota Corolla. Kind of like the car that is

[Jeff Lewis]

a compact car, very compact. To have sex in it.

[Mercedes Javid]

It's also not comfortable to have sex when you're that overweight. So you'd really gotta love and be passionate for that other person to go through the trouble of having sex in a Corolla.

[Tim Bagley]

Right.

[Jeff Lewis]

You'd be pretty horny to do that.

[Shane]

There's no room in that backseat.

[Jeff Lewis]

Not a lot of options or positions, I would think.

[Mercedes Javid]

What position were they in?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, what position? That's.

[Tim Bagley]

Well, he couldn't see. They had the.

[Jeff Lewis]

He was on his work hall.

[Jameson]

He was wearing a hat. No one could see it.

[Tim Bagley]

No, he. No, but he had the shield up so that they couldn't see. But I'm curious about Bryant, is who called the police? Why did the police show up? Was that you?

[Bryant (Caller)]

I gotta go.

[Jeff Lewis]

But, you know, you called the police on them, Bryant.

[Kathleen (Caller)]

Yes. This.

[Bryant (Caller)]

This is not.

[Tim Bagley]

Wow.

[Bryant (Caller)]

I mean, this is a nice neighborhood. We are not. We don't do trash. I mean, this is not.

[Jeff Lewis]

I mean, I would like.

[Shane]

If ugly people are having sex in front of your house, you would call the police.

[Mercedes Javid]

Yeah, true.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'd call 911 for sure.

[Shane]

100%.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, thanks, Bryant. I mean, yeah, I guess that makes sense.

[Shane]

I mean, I feel like I would if they're like that unattractive.

[Jeff Lewis]

But what's interesting is that Bryant watched from start to finish before he called the police in a front row.

[Tim Bagley]

Well, he just didn't. He was distracted from his phone calls, his work calls. His work.

[Jeff Lewis]

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[Tim Bagley]

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[Tim Bagley]

Com.

[Jeff Lewis]

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[Tim Bagley]

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[Jeff Lewis]

4 out of 5 employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for [e-mail] Chump that's ziprecruiter.com Chump meet your match on ZipRecruiter. All right, so what is the. What's the status of you and Jamie Kennedy's relationship?

[Mercedes Javid]

So I'm gonna go over there after this. I'm gonna stop by his house and I haven't gotten the formal housewarming gift yet because who knows what it should be. But I am gonna take him donuts and coffee. I feel like we're good. Definitely.

[Jeff Lewis]

He likes. What is it? Trejos.

[Mercedes Javid]

Trejos.

[Jeff Lewis]

He loves Trejo's donuts. Okay.

[Mercedes Javid]

Yeah. Cause I was like, well, what can I do at 7 o' clock in the morning? No, I said before that. But aside from that one day on radio where he just had a bad day, you called it an episode. I don't know. I'm not an analyst. I'm just saying I have moved on. I think that he.

[Jeff Lewis]

What about the well? Oh, what's going on with the well?

[Mercedes Javid]

I think that's added value to the property. Oh, yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, really?

[Mercedes Javid]

Yeah. I think that. How do you get to have and each one of those hooks, like those holes in the. In the tunnel, that's for people to climb up and down. So that's like pretty well developed.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you think it's an upgrade?

[Mercedes Javid]

Definitely.

[Shane]

If you want a well on your property, you don't have to go through the trouble of putting in a well. Right, right. You have one already installed.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's expensive to dig a 30 foot

[Mercedes Javid]

four by four well and that's concrete.

[Jeff Lewis]

I love your spin on this.

[Mercedes Javid]

Absolutely. It's really great. I mean, it wasn't enough that it appraised about half a million over what he paid, but now he's got even more value.

[Tim Bagley]

Hey, Mercedes, what's at the bottom of the well?

[Mercedes Javid]

Tbd, you know, sky's the limit, you know, or what's the opposite of this? You know, it's sky but down, so.

[Jeff Lewis]

But didn't you scope it the other day? I was going to call him and find out what were the results.

[Mercedes Javid]

So I called him and I said, I begged him, please don't rappel down the line.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, put a camera. Because they said there could be poisonous gases down there. Tim. Because originally Jamie wanted to climb down the well. Why? He wants to see what's down there.

[Mercedes Javid]

He could. Yeah, he forgot that a camera can do it.

[Tim Bagley]

Yeah.

[Shane]

He needs those big commercial like lights, just like light it up so you can see what's going on in there.

[Tim Bagley]

How far down does it go?

[Jeff Lewis]

They think 30ft.

[Tim Bagley]

Oh, wow.

[Jeff Lewis]

But see, what I'm curious is that there's tunnels down there. I mean, I thought it could be a trafficking twink. Trafficking for sure.

[Mercedes Javid]

I agree.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes. Right in that West Hollywood area.

[Tim Bagley]

Oh, it's in West Hollywood.

[Jeff Lewis]

Ish. Yeah.

[Tim Bagley]

Why would somebody build a well?

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't know, but I didn't realize it was.

[Tim Bagley]

Cover it up.

[Jeff Lewis]

Probably to improve the resources, I guess.

[Mercedes Javid]

There it is right there.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, yeah.

[Tim Bagley]

It's really crazy.

[Mercedes Javid]

It's concrete.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh. So Jack Osborne thinks it's a portal of some kind.

[Mercedes Javid]

So do I. Oh.

[Jeff Lewis]

Someone else said vampires. Okay. So there's a lot of different ideas.

[Tim Bagley]

Well, there's a camera going down there. They've.

[Mercedes Javid]

Yeah.

[Tim Bagley]

I wonder what happens when they get

[Jameson]

to the bottom and the bricks are round.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, it's. They're. I've never seen anything like that.

[Jameson]

So it's very purposeful.

[Jeff Lewis]

But see all the holes? So maybe because Carrie was saying it could be a leech pit of some kind.

[Shane]

What does that mean?

[Jeff Lewis]

What's a leech pit? I don't know. Can we look up? Leech pit.

[Shane]

I love how you just dropped that.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's what she told me about.

[Tim Bagley]

Bomb shelter.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, that's Not a. No, that's not a bomb shelter.

[Tim Bagley]

That looks like a Silence of the

[Jameson]

Lamb situation is a covered, porous, walled underground chamber that receives and filters pre treated wastewater from a septic tank.

[Tim Bagley]

Oh.

[Jameson]

Oh, that would. And the picture it's showing is concrete slabs with holes in it. The way these bricks have holes in it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, but I think he's still gonna have to. Don't you think you have to spend some money to remedy that?

[Mercedes Javid]

No, I think it's dry, so there's nothing to remedy.

[Jeff Lewis]

You don't need to fill it up because it's kind of dangerous.

[Mercedes Javid]

He can fill it up with water.

[Jeff Lewis]

Gravel.

[Tim Bagley]

Gravel.

[Jeff Lewis]

Not water.

[Tim Bagley]

I would say gravel or dirt.

[Jeff Lewis]

I wouldn't say water.

[Tim Bagley]

Would you? No, no. Water would make no sense whatsoever. Unless you're interested in drowning something.

[Mercedes Javid]

Maybe.

[Tim Bagley]

You know, I don't know how that's gonna increase the value, but would you

[Jeff Lewis]

sell that as, like, a water feature?

[Tim Bagley]

Water feature.

[Shane]

It's a waterfront property. There's water in the front of the property.

[Mercedes Javid]

Exotic places where they're like, oh, and when you go to this river, you can just jump in and then, you know, rappel back up.

[Tim Bagley]

But in this situation, they would jump in, swim down, and drown. Yeah, I don't think. I wouldn't encourage that, Mercedes.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't think that's a good idea. You think you should just put the hose in there? It's. Turn it on.

[Mercedes Javid]

No, I take it back.

[Tim Bagley]

I don't know if you guys noticed this, but there's water coming out of some of the holes in the video.

[Mercedes Javid]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, I didn't even know. I didn't notice that. Oscar. Oscar, look at that.

[McDonald's Announcer]

Wow.

[Tim Bagley]

Where's the water coming from? Oscar?

[Jeff Lewis]

Very attentive to details. Look at that.

[Tim Bagley]

Is that the bottom right there where the dirt is?

[Mercedes Javid]

I wonder if that is the bottom or if it's just where he's. Where his camera couldn't go.

[Jeff Lewis]

Somebody said maybe poop in it. Why would you do that?

[Mercedes Javid]

I wouldn't do that.

[Jeff Lewis]

I wouldn't do that either. Chump.

[Tim Bagley]

Why not? Just. What was her name? Something.

[Jeff Lewis]

Kitty.

[Tim Bagley]

You just use the toilet. No reason to go out there and do that.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, we do have congratulations on.

[Mercedes Javid]

Oh, by the way. Oh, wait, hold on. Jamie and I are ready to come back to radio together. Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, good to know. But I was going to congratulate you on selling 837 Northwest Knoll, number 106.

[Kathleen (Caller)]

Yay.

[Tim Bagley]

I know where that is.

[Mercedes Javid]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Good job, Mercedes.

[Mercedes Javid]

Thank you. It did record yesterday, and I am so happy it took a little while.

[Jeff Lewis]

Because it took some time.

[Mercedes Javid]

Yeah, it took a while. And it was such a great look, is such a great location and it was a really great price for a really spacious two bedroom.

[Jeff Lewis]

But what did it close for?

[Mercedes Javid]

605.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. Pretty good.

[Mercedes Javid]

Yeah.

[Tim Bagley]

Did you know about that hidden well?

[Mercedes Javid]

No, we didn't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's actually a good question. Did you look at the preliminary title report?

[Mercedes Javid]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

There's nothing on there.

[Tim Bagley]

How did you find it? Mercedes?

[Mercedes Javid]

Oh, I, I didn't find it. His assistant was pulling back the sod.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think he means. Do you mean the house or the.

[Mercedes Javid]

Well, the.

[Tim Bagley]

Well.

[Jeff Lewis]

The well, okay. The assistant found it.

[Mercedes Javid]

The assistant found it in the driveway about three months after we closed. Four. Four months after.

[Jeff Lewis]

Because it was loose. So he has, he has this big, big, you know, poured concrete in place with the faux lawn in between. And he walked on it. It was loose.

[Tim Bagley]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

And then he started investigating and he found the big leech pit.

[Mercedes Javid]

He pulled back the turf and then underneath it was all discovered. Oh, there it is. He pulled back this turf, that trellis driveway.

[Tim Bagley]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, Shane, do you have an appearance tonight that you want to promote?

[Shane]

Oh, at Alaska Airlines? Yes, I'm making an appearance from 6 to 7pm Terminal 6 at LAX.

[Mercedes Javid]

Where are you going?

[Shane]

Um, I'm going home to Washington for Mother's Day. So first I will be getting a Starbucks coffee around 6.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. So if anybody wants to meet Shane, you'll be there for an hour six to seven at Alaska Airlines Terminal six at lax.

[Shane]

And you'll know it's me because I have my Sirius XM branded bag that I'm using to travel today.

[Jeff Lewis]

Can I see? Oh, nice.

[Shane]

It's at Jeff's house.

[Jeff Lewis]

A nice carry on. You're not doing ship and play?

[Shane]

I'm not shipping and play because I do not have the time for this weekend trip.

[Tim Bagley]

No. Did you let the Acorn know?

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, yes, good question.

[Shane]

Yes, that comes out at 10am okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, do you have Mother's Day plans?

[Mercedes Javid]

Yes, my mom is coming tomorrow. We are going to Stone House. It's this kind of beer garden in Westlake Village. It's really beautiful.

[Shane]

I saw that in Acorn.

[Mercedes Javid]

You did you read about it? And so she also berates me for about an hour on the podcast. I went, I started going to Larchmont to record the podcast. I have a podcast, Tim. And then the lights are really good, but then she gets really nervous and so she. We recorded a Mother's Day episode.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. So that's where the point yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Mercedes Javid]

I got overwhelmed.

[Jeff Lewis]

I was like, what are you doing for Mother's Day? And then you started talking about the podcast.

[Tim Bagley]

I think that you wanted to brag about your podcast.

[Mercedes Javid]

I did, but also she. But it's also. I'm nervous because I haven't heard it yet. And she. So I was like, hey, mom, why don't I come and pick you up and we can do this because she loves it. But then it went so badly, in my opinion, I haven't heard it yet.

[Jeff Lewis]

Not a very seamless transition, do you think, Tim?

[Mercedes Javid]

Full of seamless.

[Jeff Lewis]

I just want to know what you're doing on Sunday.

[Tim Bagley]

Yeah, that was a simple question. And then, boy, it unlocked a whole.

[Mercedes Javid]

Well, I'm so nervous about it though. No, I think also the restaurant is self service and open seating. No reservations. Oh, okay.

[Tim Bagley]

Good to know.

[Kathleen (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Tell the Acorn you're not gonna get a table.

[Mercedes Javid]

I know, but we'll see what happens. We'll see. Maybe we'll get there early before things.

[Shane]

Are you trying to do it so that you get there and it's like a two hour wait and then you can just go home?

[Mercedes Javid]

No.

[Jeff Lewis]

Should we choose a restaurant? Maybe we can make a reservation.

[Jameson]

Now?

[Shane]

It's too late now.

[Jameson]

It's Friday.

[Jeff Lewis]

Because now I'm concerned you're not gonna be able to get in.

[Tim Bagley]

It sounds like you're setting yourself up for a huge disappointment. And then you're gonna go straight back into that clinical depression.

[Jeff Lewis]

And your not the easiest person in the world. So if it doesn't work out, I don't think she's gonna be too happy.

[Mercedes Javid]

I don't know. Maybe I can get her drunk.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, that all?

[Tim Bagley]

She fixes everything.

[Jeff Lewis]

She can sit down. I mean, do they have a bar?

[Mercedes Javid]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Standing room only, probably.

[Mercedes Javid]

Yeah, we'll see what happens.

[Shane]

Have the mothers.

[Jeff Lewis]

I really think you need to have a plan B. Problematic.

[Mercedes Javid]

I'm going today with the mom group from my school and so I'll scout it out, see how it is. See how early we need to get there on Sunday.

[Tim Bagley]

Ask if you can do a reservation while you're there.

[Mercedes Javid]

They said no reservations ever. It's always first come, first serve.

[Shane]

It's gonna be a 90 minute wait.

[Jeff Lewis]

You don't want to do that with her first grader. No. By the way, I do want to talk about. We should tell Tim about that woman, that lady's mom. Hack. So she's got this mom group that she hangs out in Calabasas.

[Tim Bagley]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

There's one particular mom who always Says, give me cash and I'll put it on my credit card. Because she wants all the points.

[Shane]

No, because her husband pays her credit card and she wants to take the cash and go shopping.

[Mercedes Javid]

No, she gets so many points from putting like 12 people on her Amex. And then she takes these lavish vacations. But that's not money that she spent. It's money that other people spent. But because she's like, oh, I'll pick up the tab. And then she Venmo requests everybody for the cash.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's pretty smart.

[Tim Bagley]

She gets points.

[Mercedes Javid]

It's smart. My friends are disgusted by it and they. They don't want to like.

[Tim Bagley]

Have they called her out? Mercedes?

[Mercedes Javid]

Yes, they have.

[Tim Bagley]

And what does she say?

[Mercedes Javid]

She is so oblivious, she cannot read a room. And we don't like hanging out with her unless we want to make fun of her.

[Shane]

But what is the alternative? You asked the server to split the check ten ways? No, Someone has to put their card down.

[Mercedes Javid]

Right. We just don't need her to do it. You know, we can actually put cash down.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think she's entrepreneurial. She's enterprising. I think it's a. I would be like, sure here.

[Shane]

She's using the system to her benefit.

[Jeff Lewis]

Absolutely. She's smart.

[Mercedes Javid]

She got a lot of plastic surgery on her insurance. She got her insurance to pay for elective surgeries.

[Shane]

She's good at becoming a system.

[Tim Bagley]

It sounds like a really little group of mean girl moms.

[Jeff Lewis]

It sure does.

[Mercedes Javid]

Well, that one girl knows how to work the system, let me tell you.

[Tim Bagley]

Well, good for her.

[Mercedes Javid]

We're above board over here.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hey, how was your colonoscopy?

[Tim Bagley]

Fine.

[Jeff Lewis]

Everything went okay?

[Tim Bagley]

Uh huh.

[Jeff Lewis]

Any polyps?

[Tim Bagley]

No.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, good. None.

[Tim Bagley]

Is that from my last time here? Okay. No, I didn't have any polyps. I'm very. It's a clean bill of health.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you're gonna have to go back soon because you were here a year and a half ago.

[Tim Bagley]

He said five years.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, he's gonna give you five years.

[Shane]

Tell us what they said for you too.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did they? Yeah, I had a couple polyps.

[Jameson]

A few, yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Two, three.

[Shane]

That was probably three years ago.

[Jeff Lewis]

You just. You just got one?

[Jameson]

Yes, I had one pop. And they told me come back in eight years, but I'm gonna go back sooner.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, that's too long. Eight years.

[Jameson]

Yeah, because, well, that's weird.

[Tim Bagley]

Eight years is a long time.

[Jameson]

I agree.

[Tim Bagley]

How old are you?

[Jameson]

44. Okay, so I'm gonna need it sooner.

[Jeff Lewis]

Doctor, what's going on with you and Tommy? Are you still separated, actually.

[Mercedes Javid]

Please. Yes, we are. I was hoping that you and your producers can edit out anything bad about Tommy in the upcoming season of Flipping Out. What do you think? Because things are going so well right now.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't think I said anything about Tommy on Flipping Out.

[Mercedes Javid]

No, but the cameras were here when we were on radio. The cameras were in the conference room when we.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, can't help you on that one.

[Mercedes Javid]

Okay, well, things are going really well today.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. So you guys are civil and friendly and extremely.

[Mercedes Javid]

And that. That was not, you know, you're co parenting. He. Yeah. I have you to blame for the tumultuous January through end of March. But then in April, because my son's birthday, Persian New Year, all these things happened. Like the Mets were playing the Dodgers, so we. We broke him in, and now he's nice and shams. My son is so happy. He is so happy.

[Jeff Lewis]

So plan on some rough waters. October, November.

[Mercedes Javid]

I see. I see.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Mercedes Javid]

So we're not gonna edit out anything mean.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, I mean, I have no control over it. I'm so sorry.

[Mercedes Javid]

Okay. Shout out to Alex Baskin if you want to call.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, if you want to call Alex. I'm not the type we're talking about still flipping Out. So, Tim, they filmed here, and we were talking about her separation, and we weren't so kind. Well, speaking of her ex, is there

[Tim Bagley]

anything that you can say now that, oh, well, help that situation?

[Jeff Lewis]

You can blame me. It's fine.

[Mercedes Javid]

Yeah, that's it. Just.

[Jeff Lewis]

It's my fault. Thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Jeff Lewis Live every weekday on SiriusXM as well as the Jeff Lewis Channel exclusively on the SiriusXM app.

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