Todrick Hall & Joey Zauzig

Summary

Jeff Lewis Has Issues: Episode with Todrick Hall & Joey Zauzig

Release Date: November 13, 2024
Host: Jeff Lewis
Guests: Todrick Hall, Joey Zauzig
Podcast Series: Jeff Lewis Has Issues
Platform: SiriusXM

---

Introduction

In this episode of "Jeff Lewis Has Issues," Jeff Lewis hosts renowned entertainer Todrick Hall and Joey Zauzig, delving deep into personal lives, professional struggles, and the complexities of relationships. True to his no-filter style, Jeff navigates through candid conversations, humorous exchanges, and moments of vulnerability, offering listeners an unfiltered glimpse into the lives of these influential figures.

---

Reconnecting and Personal Updates

Jeff Lewis opens the conversation by welcoming back Sam (Joey Zauzig), noting his absence since April and his recent endeavors in London performing burlesque and playing the role of Donkey in "Shrek."

• Jeff Lewis [01:45]: "You went to do. I think you wrote for burlesque, right? Also performed in burlesque."
• Sam [02:05]: "Yes."

Sam discusses his intense schedule, performing upwards of eight shows a week, including matinees, and the physical demands of his roles.

• Sam [02:59]: "There are a lot of people testing me, some crazy stuff."

Jeff humorously acknowledges the effort Sam puts into his performances, teasing him about his weight loss and the heat of his costume.

---

Navigating Relationships and Public Perception

The episode shifts focus to relationships, particularly Jeff's interactions with Todrick and Sam. The trio discusses the challenges of maintaining personal relationships amidst public lives and the scrutiny that comes with fame.

• Jeff Lewis [03:28]: "I feel like I maybe would be defined as Disney sexual. Like, I am definitely gay, for sure."

Discussing the Wicked movie premiere, Jeff and Sam express excitement, while Todrick humorously admits his lack of theater knowledge.

• Todrick Hall [04:45]: "What's a matinee?"
• Jeff Lewis [04:50]: "Get some culture. We got used to culture."

This exchange highlights the playful yet honest dynamic between the hosts and guests, emphasizing their comfort in discussing personal topics openly.

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Career Insights and Challenges

Sam reveals his transition from performing to writing his first original Broadway musical, expressing both excitement and sadness over selling his house to focus on his career.

• Sam [09:53]: "I just got fluttery a little bit just from you talking about it."

Jeff critiques the real estate process, suggesting Sam might have undersold his property, showcasing Jeff's penchant for blunt honesty.

• Jeff Lewis [10:06]: "I think the house was very undersold."

The conversation touches on the financial and emotional tolls of career shifts, with Sam admitting his possessions are now stored away, adding another layer to his life changes.

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Addressing Past Breakups and Mental Health

A significant portion of the episode delves into the emotional aftermath of a breakup, group dynamics, and the pursuit of mental health.

• Jeff Lewis [32:05]: "Have you spoken to a therapist since your breakup?"
• Todrick Hall [32:09]: "I haven't, to be honest. And I'm starting to look for a therapist now."

Todrick candidly shares his struggles with trust issues and anxiety post-breakup, highlighting the importance of therapy and self-care. Jeff and Sam offer blunt yet supportive remarks, reinforcing the theme of seeking help and personal growth.

• Sam [33:00]: "Wild to me that you can find somebody to suck on your neck, go find makeup to cover up your hickeys, but you can't find a therapist."

This segment underscores the societal stigma around mental health and the personal battles individuals face in addressing their emotional well-being.

---

Humorous Banter and Personal Anecdotes

Amidst serious discussions, the episode is peppered with light-hearted moments and playful teasing.

• Jeff Lewis [17:58]: "I think the bulk of losing was in the early year, early 2024, shedding."

The trio engages in humorous exchanges about hickeys, makeup mishaps, and awkward encounters, providing comic relief and showcasing their chemistry.

• Todrick Hall [19:18]: "I'm just saying."
• Jeff Lewis [19:09]: "Todrick, do you know Carney Wilson?"

These interactions highlight the importance of humor in navigating personal and professional challenges.

---

Industry Insights and Future Plans

The conversation transitions to professional relationships and industry dynamics, particularly discussing past collaborations and potential future projects.

• Jeff Lewis [20:15]: "The way one thing I will probably. I understand, like, what Jonathan's publicist was saying is..."

Guests reflect on their experiences with industry professionals, expressing both admiration and frustrations, especially concerning public perceptions and contractual obligations.

• Sam [22:37]: "But I do think things escalated faster than they would have on a normal show."

This segment provides listeners with an insider's perspective on the complexities of showbiz, including marketing, audience retention, and professional relationships.

---

Closing Thoughts and Final Banter

As the episode nears its end, the group shares final thoughts on personal growth, relationships, and the importance of self-improvement.

• Jeff Lewis [31:17]: "Have you spoken to a therapist since your breakup?"
• Todrick Hall [35:47]: "I know that feeling exists."

They discuss the significance of self-awareness, the challenges of monogamy in high-profile relationships, and the continuous journey of personal development.

The episode concludes with a blend of humor and heartfelt reflections, encapsulating the essence of "Jeff Lewis Has Issues"—a space for honest, unfiltered conversations that resonate with listeners.

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Notable Quotes

• Jeff Lewis [01:45]: "We expose Joey's hickey and talk about matinee performances and taking your own advice. Good morning, Todrick. Welcome back, bitch."
• Sam [02:05]: "The donkey is where it's at."
• Todrick Hall [04:45]: "What's a matinee?"
• Jeff Lewis [10:06]: "I think the house was very undersold."
• Sam [33:00]: "Wild to me that you can find somebody to suck on your neck, go find makeup to cover up your hickeys, but you can't find a therapist."
• Todrick Hall [35:47]: "I really do want the monogamous relationship."

---

Conclusion

This episode of "Jeff Lewis Has Issues" masterfully blends humor, honesty, and heartfelt discussions, offering listeners an engaging and relatable exploration of personal and professional life. Through candid conversations with Todrick Hall and Joey Zauzig, Jeff Lewis continues to deliver insightful content that resonates with a diverse audience, maintaining the podcast's reputation for unfiltered and compelling storytelling.

For more episodes and exclusive content, subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen ad-free and gain early access to new episodes.

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Note: The transcript segments involving advertisements, intros, and outros have been omitted to focus solely on the substantive content of the conversation.

Transcript

[Jeff Lewis]

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[Joey Zauzig]

Hi. We're all modern. We believe designing your space should be easy and simple at all. Modern. We have the best of modern furniture and decor all in one place. With styles from scandi and mid century to minimalist and maximalist. Every design is hand vetted for quality by our team of experts. And did we mention fast plus free shipping? That means you can upgrade your space in days, not weeks. That's modern made simple. Shop [e-mail] when you're Jeff Lewis, the drama never stops.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm sorry. We didn't mean to offend anybody. We offend everybody.

[Joey Zauzig]

We live in a nest of positivity.

[Jeff Lewis]

I live in a nest of negativity.

[Todrick Hall]

She said, I swear you'll love him. I said, you could swear all day long. I hate that guy.

[Sam]

Jeff Lewis has issues.

[Jeff Lewis]

Hey, welcome to Jeff Lewis has Issues. In today's episode, Todrick hall and Joey Zauzig join the show. We expose Joey's hickey and talk about matinee performances and taking your own advice. Good morning, Todrick. Welcome back, bitch.

[Sam]

I'm back. Like, I never left, thank God.

[Jeff Lewis]

Last time we saw you was April, I believe.

[Sam]

Yeah, it's been six months.

[Jeff Lewis]

And you went to.

[Sam]

I'm entering my third trimester.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you went to do. I think you wrote for burlesque, right? Also performed in burlesque.

[Sam]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

In London. Is that correct?

[Sam]

Absolutely.

[Jeff Lewis]

And then how long was that run?

[Sam]

About two months.

[Jeff Lewis]

Two months. And then. Then you were the donkey and Shrek. Is that correct?

[Sam]

Why'd you say it like that?

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, I'm just trying to piece it all together. That's a huge role.

[Sam]

Thank you.

[Todrick Hall]

The donkey is like main character.

[Sam]

The donkey is where it's at.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so then.

[Shane]

You're such a cute donkey.

[Todrick Hall]

Thank you. That donkey's got a booty.

[Sam]

He got a booty. Donkey bbl in the streets.

[Jeff Lewis]

Was that also in the uk?

[Sam]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay. And then how long was that run playing the donkey?

[Sam]

Two months.

[Jeff Lewis]

God, that costume. I mean, how hot was that? Costume.

[Sam]

It was pretty hot. Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

I lost a lot of weight, I would imagine.

[Todrick Hall]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did it smell really bad, that costume?

[Sam]

No, actually, because I was wearing it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so how many.

[Sam]

I actually had a lot of people slide into my DMs after that. No, they saw that donkey BBL and they said, I want some of that.

[Todrick Hall]

I mean, it's very.

[Sam]

There's a lot of. I was really, really big in the furries community.

[Jeff Lewis]

I imagine there was a lot of.

[Sam]

People testing me, some crazy stuff.

[Shane]

I've slid into DMs of Broadway actors, so I see the allure.

[Todrick Hall]

I have to thank you.

[Sam]

Thank you.

[Jeff Lewis]

Aladdin. He DM'd Aladdin.

[Todrick Hall]

Did you really?

[Shane]

We went and saw it like two or three times, so I was always like, you know, great show. If you want to get a drink, I'm around.

[Sam]

But did you get on that magic carpet?

[Shane]

He never wanted to get a drink.

[Todrick Hall]

Did you rub that lamp?

[Jeff Lewis]

He never even got back to him. How many times did you DM him?

[Shane]

No more than three.

[Sam]

That is really, honestly hot to me. I feel like I maybe would be defined as Disney sexual. Like, I am definitely gay, for sure. There's no question about it. But if somebody says anything about Disney, that it will just really get me going.

[Jeff Lewis]

Like today, it's the opposite for me, really.

[Sam]

It's a turn off.

[Todrick Hall]

I go limp, honey.

[Sam]

I don't know, Jeff. I could see you maybe not with a regular Disney person, but with Jafar or a little scar.

[Jeff Lewis]

I mean, a villain. I love a villain. Yeah, a villain, but not a dis. I don't think I want a Disney person. No offense.

[Sam]

Well, villains are also Disney.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't want to alienate anyone. I mean, whatever they're into is fine, but I'm just not into it. No, we know that you love Disneyland. We know about your history. And you also love the wizard of Oz. So you must be excited for the new Wicked movie coming.

[Sam]

Beyond excited. I just got fluttery a little bit just from you talking about it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Will you be going to any sort of premiere?

[Sam]

I hope so. I hope so. I just was actually telling Annie on the way in, I really hope I get invited to the premiere.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. So the rest of us will be buying movie tickets. Should we do it in advance? Because I want to take Monroe that weekend.

[Shane]

Yeah, good question. Probably, I'm sure. Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

And I just. I figured she. Right now, she's obviously very into Wicked because she keeps seeing the trailers for the movie. So I also just bought tickets for Wicked at the Pantages in December.

[Sam]

Yes. I'm going to go to that as well.

[Jeff Lewis]

I took her once and we didn't stay because both of our ADD kicked in. But I think what we're going to do is we're going to do a matinee. Like a Saturday matinee. So we could do it. I think we could sit through it.

[Todrick Hall]

What's a matinee?

[Sam]

The afternoon performance.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you serious, Joey?

[Sam]

Get some culture. We got used to culture.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you serious, Joey?

[Shane]

It's like when a show is at like 2.

[Todrick Hall]

Oh, like a daytime movie or something. I don't know. You guys said like matinee is another one. I'm not in the theater community. Okay? That's what it is.

[Shane]

Go to amc. It's called a matinee.

[Todrick Hall]

Oh, so it's like a daytime movie. Okay, that's all you guys have to say? You don't have to act like I was supposed to know what that means.

[Shane]

Okay, you are supposed to know what that means.

[Todrick Hall]

Sam, you know what a matinee. Everyone's laughing like everyone knows.

[Sam]

Everyone knows.

[Jeff Lewis]

Annie, do you know what a matinee is? Annie says yes. She nodded yes.

[Todrick Hall]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, it's okay. I mean, I could see how you'd miss that.

[Todrick Hall]

My face is like turning red. I'm like, wait, really? I didn't know. Turning red. This was supposed to be a new thing, man. Shut the fuck up.

[Shane]

New thing.

[Todrick Hall]

You're just mad cause I haven't texted you back. So.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wait, Todrick, you've been here for 45 minutes.

[Sam]

Yeah, I got here 18 count ago. Oh, you mean today?

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sam]

No, yeah, I got here early so.

[Jeff Lewis]

We now meet here at the studio. But I guess no one told Todrick Shane.

[Sam]

No, he did text me the address, but it was the same address that you used to text me before. But we would always meet downstairs.

[Jeff Lewis]

You never said we were going to meet in the conference room, Shane.

[Shane]

Let me. I'm just going to scroll back because I would like to point out we will meet at the studio. All caps, not the coffee shop. Text me what you'll want from Sightglass and we'll have it for you then. That was on Monday.

[Jeff Lewis]

And then you met us at the coffee shop.

[Shane]

Then on Monday, see you tomorrow at 8:30 at the studio.

[Jeff Lewis]

And then he said okay, so you covered your bases and then you went straight to the coffee shop.

[Sam]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

And so you made us a little nervous because you walked in about seven minutes before live. But you made it.

[Sam]

Yeah, for sure. I was here so early. I walked actually to Target. Because I was looking for Wicked Toys. I got here so early that I walked to Target.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wait, you already went to Target this morning?

[Sam]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

God, don't you love that Target?

[Sam]

I do love the Target, but they were out of Wicked Toys.

[Shane]

I hate that Target.

[Sam]

Why? That's homophobic.

[Shane]

No, no, no.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wicked Toys. What are you doing with Wicked Toys?

[Sam]

Collecting them. What do you mean?

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, I. Okay, I ran into.

[Todrick Hall]

He has a whole Disney Room.

[Jeff Lewis]

I was like, you going to a kid's birthday party?

[Sam]

No, I. My life is.

[Todrick Hall]

You ran into a friend at Target. Was he also there for Wicked Toys?

[Sam]

I don't know what he was there.

[Jeff Lewis]

For, but it's very early.

[Todrick Hall]

It's really cute.

[Jeff Lewis]

Who is that very early to be cute for, Jeff?

[Sam]

I don't know.

[Todrick Hall]

This guy I'm looking at. Todrick's friend is, like, really burly. He has a really big beard. And you like, thick, thick eyebrows with.

[Sam]

A big Game of Thrones Paul Bun and shit.

[Todrick Hall]

He has a big nose, which means.

[Jeff Lewis]

He has a big old hose now, Sam. We haven't seen Sam in a while. Where have you been, Sam?

[Sam]

I was in Europe for two and a half weeks.

[Shane]

Were you playing Shrek on Broadway?

[Todrick Hall]

Well, because you said that last time.

[Sam]

You were on here and you guys.

[Todrick Hall]

Were looking at a photo of me. That's funny. Oh, my gosh.

[Sam]

You must have gotten a haircut since then. I have, yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. Doesn't it look good?

[Sam]

Yeah, it looks great.

[Jeff Lewis]

It was even a little shorter before.

[Todrick Hall]

I think we could go a little bit shorter.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, when he first got it cut, it looked great clean. But he's trying to. I think you're trying to go back to where it was before.

[Sam]

No, I just haven't, you know, since I was in Europe. I just haven't had a haircut since I was in Europe.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah.

[Shane]

So cosmopolitan.

[Jeff Lewis]

Because you're starting to look like Johnny Depp again.

[Sam]

Thank you.

[Jeff Lewis]

And Charlie in the Chocolate Factory.

[Todrick Hall]

Oh, my. Johnny Depp's hot.

[Shane]

Not when he's Wonka. Not when he's in the factory.

[Todrick Hall]

Mickey. Willy Wonka.

[Sam]

Wait. I just want to let you know that somebody named Kim NS9DM'd me last night because this was important. They knew I was coming on the show and they said, watch out for Jeff. He is on the prowl for some BBC with a whole bunch of, like, eggplant emojis.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, you're ready to warn people now.

[Todrick Hall]

True.

[Shane]

Shout out, Kim.

[Sam]

I know.

[Shane]

She's right.

[Sam]

Come on, Kim.

[Todrick Hall]

Kim. Let him have his BBC fantasy.

[Jeff Lewis]

So, Sam, I hadn't seen him in a while. He comes in, he's like, hey, I saw your Halloween costume. He goes, it was very, very evil looking. And then this little fucker. What did you say?

[Jameson]

I said that wasn't his costume. He got confused, which we all do.

[Todrick Hall]

Oh, my God.

[Jeff Lewis]

Did you. Did you celebrate Halloween in New York?

[Sam]

I did, I did. I was dressed as Cruella deville. Did you see?

[Jeff Lewis]

No. I want to see it.

[Sam]

I was dressed as Cruella deville. It's on my Instagram. It was Cruella de Ville gone country. It was a what country? It was a Beyonce themed party. So it was Cowboy Carter. Cruella Cowboy? Yes, love, Come on. Alliteration.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wait, so you stopped in New York on your way home? Oh, my God. That's a good costume.

[Sam]

Thank you so much.

[Jeff Lewis]

The one to the right.

[Todrick Hall]

Wow. It kind of looks like. Now, who's the one to the right?

[Sam]

That's my friend, J. Armstrong Johnson.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's a good costume.

[Sam]

Yeah. We grew up together. We're both Broadway actors.

[Jeff Lewis]

Is that from Hocus Pocus?

[Sam]

Yeah, that's Winifred Sanderson.

[Todrick Hall]

It's Winifred.

[Sam]

Come on.

[Todrick Hall]

Oh, my God, my dog's name.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, here we go.

[Todrick Hall]

My dog. Oh, my God, Winifred Sanderson.

[Jeff Lewis]

Those are. I mean, you guys go all out.

[Sam]

We're gay.

[Todrick Hall]

Todrick goes, wait, whatever.

[Jeff Lewis]

You were theater gays.

[Sam]

Did you see this one? This is me.

[Todrick Hall]

This is the best one.

[Sam]

Ursula.

[Todrick Hall]

How shame is that, you guys?

[Sam]

Wait, when was that posted on my Instagram? This was a few years ago.

[Todrick Hall]

Look at that.

[Sam]

Full out for Halloween.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, you really do. It's like Heidi Klum.

[Todrick Hall]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

Like, you take it that seriously. Wow. Okay. And so then are you now living in la? What's happening?

[Sam]

I don't really know what's happening. I'm working on a musical. I'm writing my first musical. Like, my first original Broadway show. And so I'm in Encino right now because I sold my house, which is so devastating. I know. Don't even get me started.

[Jeff Lewis]

So it's not a congrats situation. It's a.

[Sam]

It is a congrats situation, but it is. I still was, like, sad, but I feel like I'm being called to be more in New York and on the West End in London. So now I'm in Encino right next to the guy who, like, does my music. I'm living in Encino and just like, some.

[Jeff Lewis]

What. Who was guiding you in that sale? And are you. Are you happy with the real estate agents that represented you? Because I Honestly. And maybe it's. Sometimes I don't want to blame the real estate agent, because sometimes it's a stubborn seller, but I think that was entirely mishandled, and I think the house was very undersold. Sorry. Yeah, I think it's like, when I heard what it sold for, I couldn't fucking believe it.

[Sam]

You should have helped me out, Jeff.

[Jeff Lewis]

I mean, this was all you. I mean, you didn't consult me, but you should have got a lot more money for that house. Sorry, I don't mean to make you feel bad.

[Sam]

I know. Yeah. Just twist the knife.

[Jeff Lewis]

That was a great house.

[Todrick Hall]

It was a great house. I love that house. What'd you do with all your stuff?

[Sam]

It's all in, like, a huge storage unit.

[Todrick Hall]

You guys have to realize there is so much stuff.

[Jeff Lewis]

So you didn't go through anything? You just. Well, you were gone.

[Sam]

I was gone.

[Jeff Lewis]

So who handled all of that?

[Sam]

My assistants just. Were still here.

[Jeff Lewis]

Literally just put everything in storage units.

[Todrick Hall]

Wow.

[Shane]

Wow.

[Jeff Lewis]

You must be spending a fortune a month.

[Sam]

I know. It's horrible.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you gonna. So are you now gonna rent something? What are you. Are you gonna. What are you doing?

[Sam]

I don't know, because I'm going back to the UK to work on a show, and then in March, I'm thinking about moving to New York. Like, I have never lived in New York. I've lived there five or six times to do a show, but I've never lived there, not for a job. So I would like to move to New York and, like, actually see what it's like to, you know, I mean.

[Jeff Lewis]

If you can do it, that's great. Now, what about Liam, your partner? Will he. Will he just go with you to New York? He's here with you now?

[Sam]

Yes, he is.

[Jeff Lewis]

How long have you guys been together?

[Sam]

Almost two years now.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wow. So it's working. And then he went to UK with you?

[Sam]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's nice.

[Sam]

I know. It was really fun. He was there. He saw Burlesque 40 times. Crazy. He watched it 40 times.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, I'm always supporting you.

[Todrick Hall]

Yeah, he's the best. He's such a sweetheart. You guys are a matchmate. I was, like, there when you guys first kind of started dating. Because he was a backup dancer or a dancer. Not a backup dancer.

[Sam]

Backup dancer.

[Todrick Hall]

Backup dancer.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, is that not good to say?

[Todrick Hall]

Well, he was, like, a dancer for Todrick.

[Jeff Lewis]

You don't want to say back up?

[Todrick Hall]

Well, he gave me a look when I said back up.

[Sam]

No, there's just, like, a funny scare where they say, and backup dancers. She don't love herself.

[Todrick Hall]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. At least security could get you backstage. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, Is that. That's. Is that. I mean, I want to know. Is that derogatory?

[Sam]

No, no.

[Jeff Lewis]

Someone a backup dancer?

[Sam]

No, I don't think so.

[Jeff Lewis]

We just call them dancers.

[Sam]

We just call them dancers. Yeah. It's not woke to say.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, okay. I'm joking.

[Sam]

No, that's not a thing. You have to ask today. You have to ask.

[Todrick Hall]

I can cancel.

[Sam]

You have really offended the backup community. Out of here.

[Jameson]

The backup is silent.

[Sam]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

How many burlesque shows did you do?

[Sam]

Probably 60 or 70 in total. Maybe 80, I'm not sure. 70.

[Jeff Lewis]

How many nights a week?

[Sam]

Eight. Well, eight shows a week.

[Jeff Lewis]

Eight shows a week.

[Shane]

So one was a matinee.

[Jeff Lewis]

What's up?

[Sam]

Two wear matinees. Which now.

[Todrick Hall]

Don't give me about the matinee. They are.

[Jeff Lewis]

Everyone's looking at you about the matinee. It's not just me.

[Todrick Hall]

Like, I've never heard someone be like, let's get Thea matinee. Like, it's usually just.

[Sam]

You're hanging out with Ronald's problem.

[Jeff Lewis]

Clearly you need more theater gays in your life.

[Todrick Hall]

I do. Jamie said you want to go to a matinee this weekend or at least.

[Jeff Lewis]

Return their text because Todrick, you came in a little hot. Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Joey's not been returning your texts.

[Sam]

No, not just texts. Texts and calls. And then I went onto his live TikToks and I was like, joey, he's like, I'm going to call you as soon as I get over here. You know, they like to save face on TikTok. Oh, yeah. I'm going to call you. Nothing left me on silent. We're such good friends. I haven't heard from you since I left six months ago.

[Todrick Hall]

Okay, granted, when this was. Yeah, because you caught. This was six months ago when you were really trying to get in touch with me. I was. No, he would not have wanted to hear from me.

[Jeff Lewis]

Spiraling.

[Todrick Hall]

I wasn't ready to talk because you were like, oh, my God, what happened? Like, whatever. And we usually talk on the phone like that. So I was like, but now I'm going to hit you up and tell you everything. But I feel like during that time.

[Jeff Lewis]

You'Re just saying that because we're live right now.

[Sam]

Yeah. Updated. I will keep you updated because I have a feeling my phone is going to be like, Joey. Nothing.

[Todrick Hall]

No, I will.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're probably blocked, Taj. Probably.

[Sam]

Honestly, I checked today. I'm like, is he still following me? Is he mad?

[Todrick Hall]

I just had a lot going on during that time and I was kind of like not talking to anybody and I was just like, we had a lot of fun.

[Jeff Lewis]

You were talking to us and parties.

[Todrick Hall]

I didn't have a damn choice.

[Sam]

Every time Jeff had something, I was like, oh, there he is, smiling, hanging out, keeping going on dates.

[Jeff Lewis]

Honestly, Todrick, it's good that you have not had communication with him because the first couple months was rough for all of us.

[Todrick Hall]

Yeah, right. For me too.

[Jeff Lewis]

We all went through the breakup.

[Sam]

I forgive you.

[Todrick Hall]

All the chumps went through the breakup together. Yeah, I wouldn't have been.

[Jeff Lewis]

We lost like 20% of our audience.

[Shane]

And our brain cells.

[Todrick Hall]

It's a life.

[Jeff Lewis]

We're trying to get him back.

[Todrick Hall]

Experience. Yeah, we really are. That's why I'm only on once every so often lately.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah. I'm sorry.

[Todrick Hall]

It's okay.

[Sam]

You know, gotta stop.

[Jeff Lewis]

What are you talking about? You're twice a month.

[Todrick Hall]

I know.

[Shane]

At least.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, we have more chumps now.

[Todrick Hall]

We'll ramp it up.

[Jeff Lewis]

We've grown chunks. We've lost a lot of chumps that you've got, but we also gained a lot of chumps. I don't know. Have we lost more or gained more? Jameson Gained?

[Todrick Hall]

I'm not sure.

[Jameson]

I think gained.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think so, like one or two.

[Jameson]

I think the bulk of losing was in the like early year, early 2024, shedding. And so it's been a game.

[Sam]

Why were we losing them?

[Jeff Lewis]

Ah, it's long story talking.

[Sam]

Okay, great. We don't need to talk.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'll text you.

[Todrick Hall]

We have Jay Catapretta and. And oh, oh, yeah. Michael Hitchcock. Michael back. Like. Yeah. We have some good other people.

[Jeff Lewis]

We got Jonathan Bennett here last week who I love.

[Todrick Hall]

Oh, no, I love him.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so.

[Sam]

He said. No, I love him.

[Todrick Hall]

I just don't think they like me very much. But that's okay.

[Shane]

Why?

[Todrick Hall]

I think just because of the show stuff. And like I did hear on the show and I will say it's like.

[Jeff Lewis]

He was like the real friends of WeHo.

[Todrick Hall]

The real friends of we.

[Sam]

Let's take a moment.

[Todrick Hall]

It's not done yet. Girl, you don't even know what's going on with it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you still. Are you still maintaining? It's going to come back.

[Sam]

You have to let it go.

[Todrick Hall]

Okay? I'm just going to say nothing and let you guys do it.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you serious right now? You think this thing's coming back?

[Todrick Hall]

I'm not going to say anything because I'm just going to let you guys.

[Jeff Lewis]

Todrick, have you heard any word about it coming back?

[Sam]

No, but maybe they don't want me. Maybe they only want. Oh, what was that look that you just did?

[Todrick Hall]

I'm just saying.

[Sam]

Oh, you have changed, bitch since April. Yeah, you are not the same bitch. I need. I need to social distance myself from this ho.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you want to sit over here?

[Sam]

Yes. Can I come over there?

[Jeff Lewis]

Please?

[Todrick Hall]

Anyway, that's why Jonathan. That's why Jonathan Bennett and them don't like me. Just because, like they always.

[Jeff Lewis]

Is that a hickey?

[Shane]

Because her husband.

[Jeff Lewis]

You have a hickey on your neck.

[Shane]

That's why when you asked if I.

[Todrick Hall]

Come on, don't do this to me.

[Shane]

He said, not on my face. He said not on my face because.

[Jeff Lewis]

I asked him this morning. I said, you wear makeup because your skin looks good.

[Sam]

I was like, why is that?

[Jeff Lewis]

And you said, not on my face.

[Todrick Hall]

This is not appropriate.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're right. No, it isn't appropriate.

[Sam]

Who gave.

[Jeff Lewis]

I mean, how old are you?

[Sam]

There are multiple wondering why your shirt was. Why you had so much makeup on the inside of this white collar.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, yeah, you're right. He's been trying to cover up the hickey.

[Todrick Hall]

Yeah.

[Jeff Lewis]

And you wear a white shirt with makeup all over it.

[Todrick Hall]

Don't peel my shirt back and give me that look, Shane Douglas.

[Shane]

And I gasp.

[Todrick Hall]

Yes, I have a hickey.

[Sam]

Sephiroth. From who?

[Todrick Hall]

David gave me a hickey.

[Sam]

Hickeys are so tacky.

[Jeff Lewis]

So tacky.

[Todrick Hall]

I like them.

[Jeff Lewis]

What's next? You're going to chew gum too? I mean, she's so tacky.

[Todrick Hall]

I have a piece. I thought we weren't allowed to do it on air.

[Jeff Lewis]

So tacky. Why do you keep getting hickeys? You had one till two weeks ago. Do you remember?

[Todrick Hall]

Thanks, Jeff.

[Jeff Lewis]

From someone else.

[Todrick Hall]

No.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yes.

[Sam]

David is his name.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'll tell you. It was from.

[Todrick Hall]

It was from David.

[Jeff Lewis]

It was not from David. It was not from David. It was like three weeks ago. Was it from David? Oh, when you were trying to hide it from someone.

[Todrick Hall]

It was from David. I was trying to hide it from when I was two people at a time. Which I'll never do ever again, by the way.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, sure.

[Todrick Hall]

I've learned my lesson. I'll never do a double date type thing. Dating two people at a time doesn't work.

[Sam]

Why?

[Jeff Lewis]

It's because you have to learn the hickeys.

[Sam]

Yeah, it's a lot of makeup in the world.

[Todrick Hall]

I'm fucking railing through the foundation.

[Jeff Lewis]

A lot of makeup. A lot of turtlenecks.

[Todrick Hall]

I really put like five layers on thinking you wouldn't see it today. And it's clearly wore a white shirt.

[Sam]

Jameson.

[Todrick Hall]

Jameson's like. Jameson's like cringing right now.

[Jameson]

Well, everyone's described it, but the problem is you're wearing a white jacket, so there's so much tan makeup on the collar, on the inside. It rubbed off.

[Jeff Lewis]

I want Carney to see this hickey.

[Todrick Hall]

Oh, my God, you guys, look at.

[Jeff Lewis]

This hickey on Joey.

[Shane]

This photo I just took.

[Jeff Lewis]

Look at this hickey on Joey. Todrick, do you know Carney Wilson?

[Sam]

I don't, but hi, nice to see you.

[Todrick Hall]

Hold on for one more day. You know her?

[Sam]

Oh, stop, stop. I can't take all this attention.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wait, Carney, focus. Can you look at his hickey? Look at Joey. Look at Joey's hickey.

[Todrick Hall]

Oh, gosh. Oh, my God. Wait a minute.

[Jeff Lewis]

And look at all the makeup on the inside of his shirt.

[Sam]

It's also a very small hickey. He gets a small mouth.

[Todrick Hall]

It literally happened in five seconds. He like did it and just kissed my neck.

[Shane]

That does not n's coming and she.

[Jeff Lewis]

Wants to see it.

[Todrick Hall]

Look at Naya peeping through the window.

[Sam]

You guys, he's got makeup on it.

[Todrick Hall]

Look at, look at.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, I see.

[Todrick Hall]

Yeah. Oh, my God. At least he's getting some. Stop. Todrick is taking a photo.

[Jeff Lewis]

Yeah, let's post it on the Jeff Lewis Live channel.

[Jameson]

We'll put it on the video.

[Sam]

My profile picture.

[Jeff Lewis]

I mean, that is a dark hickey.

[Joey Zauzig]

That's a good one.

[Jeff Lewis]

That's not a few seconds.

[Sam]

That is very small.

[Todrick Hall]

No, it was really weird. This is what happened. We were in bed and he was like doing this. Just like literally did it for five seconds. He's like, holy shit, you bruise. Because it's the. It's the lightest part of my skin.

[Jeff Lewis]

I don't know. You lost track of time.

[Todrick Hall]

I'm going to cry.

[Jeff Lewis]

What?

[Todrick Hall]

Love these hickeys. Thank you, Carney. Carney's always got my fucking back, man. Well, you know, girl, we got to do what we got to do in this hard economic times.

[Jeff Lewis]

What are you talking about? So we need to talk about Jonathan Bennett for a second.

[Todrick Hall]

Okay.

[Jeff Lewis]

So his publicist had reached out and they were like 15 times and wanted to know who was Jonathan's co host that day. And it seemed to be a big concern. Joey, as far as you know, do you have any sort of beef? Because we're trying to. We're trying to narrow it. Who did they not want? Who did he not want to be.

[Todrick Hall]

On with this is the only thing that I can say about that. The reason why I think that, well, you don't know with them. The only thing that I would say is because during one episode when James quit the show, it was because I was saying like everyone was frustrated with him because he kept saying, I didn't know it was going to be this kind of show. And we were all signed the same contract, dumbass.

[Shane]

What did they expect it to be.

[Todrick Hall]

Exactly like you thought it was going to be? Promoting your cruise ship line the whole time? No, you have to talk about things. You have to get to know people. And it was really frustrating to be on the show. And he kept being like my husband had to do. And then we were like, all of our husbands signed the show. He thinks like Jonathan's like, it's like.

[Jeff Lewis]

Oh, he's a celebrity.

[Todrick Hall]

He's. No, he's a celebrity. But it doesn't make him any better than anybody else. All of our husbands agreed to do the show, which was a big undertaking, understood everybody.

[Sam]

So it was frustrating at the time.

[Jeff Lewis]

He what?

[Todrick Hall]

I did have a husband at the time. Well, Brian was my boyfriend.

[Jeff Lewis]

You were so shady. Look at you just eating your cinnamon roll.

[Shane]

You did not have a husband.

[Sam]

I'm like, just to be clear.

[Todrick Hall]

But Brian wasn't. Brian wasn't finance and sign. So I was frustrated because I was like your boyfriend. Your husband's not.

[Jeff Lewis]

You're saying everyone had something to lose.

[Todrick Hall]

Absolutely. And it was frustrating because I didn't know it was going to be called the A list. And we're like, well, it says on the top of the contract. So it was this big convoluted thing that he thought was going to be a different type of show.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, maybe he was sold a different story, a different pitch. And when he started shooting it, it wasn't the show he thought.

[Todrick Hall]

Todrick, what do you think?

[Jeff Lewis]

Todrick.

[Todrick Hall]

Yeah, exactly.

[Jeff Lewis]

Was the show. Was the show what? So you were on with Joey. That's where you guys met? Is. Was the show what you thought it would be? Is it what they actually had pitched you or did it morph into something else? Because shows do do that. They morph into other things.

[Sam]

I do think that when we all signed on, we had an idea that there would be some sort of drama. It wasn't going to be some like docu series where they were just going to be showing a bunch of gay guys like Kumbaya ing. I figured that there would be some element of drama for sure. And I think there's no way that you could have signed on thinking that there was not going to be something that could be potentially hazardous to your career or to your brand.

[Todrick Hall]

Yes.

[Sam]

But I do think that things escalated faster than they would have on a normal show. Most people kept quitting. It was. I mean, it was a little bit more drama than we expected. And the crazy part is that most of that drama didn't even end up on the show. Otherwise maybe the show would have continued. Or as it is in Joey's mind.

[Jeff Lewis]

Still continuing in Joey's delusional mind that it's still. Yeah. Is it in production right now, Joey?

[Todrick Hall]

I am a little delusional, and that's okay.

[Sam]

Are they going to show the.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think if you get in this.

[Sam]

Hickey on the new season of Jesus.

[Jeff Lewis]

Maybe, like, I understand that you're probably trying to manifest this, but maybe manifest a different type of show. Right.

[Todrick Hall]

Well, I did.

[Jeff Lewis]

Maybe we bury that one and then, you know, we manifest a different show.

[Todrick Hall]

Yeah, okay.

[Joey Zauzig]

Maybe.

[Jeff Lewis]

All right. Is that. Okay, great.

[Todrick Hall]

Sounds good. Sounds good.

[Jeff Lewis]

Now, by the way, this may have nothing to do with you because someone called yesterday and said that Justin Martindale has publicly said negative things about Jonathan and James. So I didn't know that. So maybe they had an issue with Justin.

[Todrick Hall]

Keeping my opinions to myself. They just get me in trouble.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, well, I mean, but that makes.

[Todrick Hall]

Sense for sure, I think. Oh, God, here I go. Well, yeah, I mean, if he was talking about them, then of course, like, I'm sure they heard it. I'm sure it got back to definitely James, because James, I feel like, always has, like, a pulse on what's going on. So I'm sure he heard it. And they were probably like, we don't want to be on with Justin Martindale.

[Jeff Lewis]

The way one thing I will probably. I understand, like, what Jonathan's publicist was saying is, like, you know, he has a big business now with Hallmark. Right. Which is.

[Todrick Hall]

Which is amazing.

[Jeff Lewis]

So they were very concerned that whatever show we did would not be Hallmark friendly. That I understand. Like, you know, you don't want anything too edgy or outrageous that's going to harm him in any way professionally. And my guess is that's what happened with the real friends of WeHo where James was protective over his husband.

[Todrick Hall]

Yeah.

[Shane]

You know, and the brand.

[Jeff Lewis]

And the brand.

[Todrick Hall]

Listen, both of them are actually very sweet and nice, and Jonathan is really a nice person.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Sam]

I actually love them both.

[Todrick Hall]

They're really legitimately.

[Sam]

I genuinely love them.

[Todrick Hall]

They're sweet guys.

[Jeff Lewis]

I really liked him. I thought he was great. I hope he comes back.

[Sam]

It's so nice.

[Todrick Hall]

I hope he comes back to he did a great. I listened. It was great. He fits in perfectly. He just doesn't know what he's in for. The first is like a breeze and then the second it starts getting really deep. But Colton's still continuing. He's great.

[Sam]

I want to meet Colton so bad. I love him.

[Todrick Hall]

He's sweet.

[Jeff Lewis]

He's really nice. He's a really nice guy.

[Todrick Hall]

And now he's a daddy.

[Jeff Lewis]

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[Joey Zauzig]

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[Jeff Lewis]

For those of you that want to see Joey's hickey now remember, it's covered with. Well, he tried to cover it with about 14 different layers of makeup.

[Sam]

It looks like they're my shirt. By the way, it looks like you.

[Jeff Lewis]

Can go to the Jeff Lewis channel Instagram right now. So you see the picture of Joey's hickey.

[Jameson]

It's JL channel 789.

[Jeff Lewis]

Great. And then do we also. Can they also see the makeup on his. The interior of his shirt?

[Shane]

No, we'll have to get a better picture.

[Jameson]

Well, I kind of see it.

[Todrick Hall]

I think it was like leftover from like another appearance. Yeah.

[Jameson]

If you want to see, check out the video later today. It'll be on the video later. Well, here we are.

[Todrick Hall]

Well, here we are. I already signed the release. Jameson doesn't let you sit unless you sign.

[Jeff Lewis]

Honey, you didn't ask me anything last night. Is that correct? On Instagram.

[Todrick Hall]

I did do an Ask me anything. I do it every Monday. Monday and Thursday are my AMA days.

[Shane]

A lot of questions.

[Todrick Hall]

Monday and Thursday, because I get thousands of questions. So I have to go. I try and get to as many as I can.

[Jeff Lewis]

Is it thousands?

[Sam]

Thousands?

[Todrick Hall]

It's Thousands. Yesterday was 1000 Todrick.

[Jeff Lewis]

Do you think it's thousands?

[Sam]

I do not.

[Todrick Hall]

Yesterday was 1000. 1,012. You can see 1012. Yes, sir.

[Sam]

Even giving a specific number does not make it any more convincing. In fact, that seems more suspect. It was 10:12.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay, so what were some of the questions?

[Todrick Hall]

It's usually about breakups, dating, cheating, heartbreak, love, how big my dick is, how big my feet are, where I'm from. What's Jeff like? Am I single? Am I dating? Can I sit on your face? There's a lot of different questions.

[Jeff Lewis]

Okay.

[Todrick Hall]

It's all right.

[Jeff Lewis]

All right.

[Todrick Hall]

The answer is, of course.

[Jeff Lewis]

So what I do appreciate about you is your honesty. Sometimes you do exaggerate a little bit. But generally you are a very honest person and a direct person, 100%. So last night someone asked you if you take your. Only if you take your own advice. And you were. I mean, you were very honest. You said. I think you said, frankly, no, I'm working on it. I'll leave it at there. Just being honest.

[Todrick Hall]

That's all I could say.

[Jeff Lewis]

And I will tell you, I feel like there's been many times in my life where my life is a big fucking mess, but I do give people advice, and I don't take my own advice. Now, I think recently I do take my own advice, but it took me a long time to get there. But I appreciate that you admit that. That we don't always do what we tell other. What we advise other people to do.

[Todrick Hall]

Yes. And it's. I think I am just. I didn't realize. I didn't take my own advice because I realized that, like, dating after seven years, it's such a new thing. And I give all these, like, girlies, like, advice about make sure you're with someone that treats you right, and if they treat you wrong, fuck them, like, out of here. And it's like, I get it. It's not that easy. And it's really more complicated. And I feel like as I'm dating again, I'm like, oh, shit. This is actually harder. Easier said than done. But I wish that I could take my own advice and some of.

[Sam]

Are you Tina Turner with fucking ikea or are you Cardi fucking B?

[Todrick Hall]

Wow.

[Jeff Lewis]

Are you confused, Todrick?

[Sam]

Yes.

[Todrick Hall]

Probably.

[Shane]

It's not great advice actually.

[Todrick Hall]

I know. But I think I just realized that like I'm not able to take my own advice and it's very daunting and it's making me think about a lot and reset.

[Jeff Lewis]

Have you spoken to a therapist since your breakup?

[Todrick Hall]

I haven't, to be honest. And I'm starting to look for a therapist now. I've been.

[Jeff Lewis]

You've been looking for a while because there must not be any therapist available.

[Todrick Hall]

No, but we talk about like Monroe in therapy too. And I can relate to that because I was in therapy to an 8 year old from a very young age. And so I don't. It's really. It was really hard for me to find a therapist I liked. And when I did find a therapist that I liked, she outed me to my parents and broke my trust. So now when I see therapists, I'm like, first of all, it's a lot of money. And I'm like, do I really need like another expense in my life? Probably not, but I think I need therapy. So I am searching. Liotte gave me a great hypnotherapist that I have a call with on Thursday. And then my friend gave me this tough bitch. What? What?

[Sam]

I think if you can.

[Jeff Lewis]

I was just laughing to myself because I think I should refer you to Monroe's therapist.

[Todrick Hall]

Yes, I'm down.

[Jeff Lewis]

She's a child therapist.

[Todrick Hall]

That might be.

[Sam]

Actually.

[Todrick Hall]

I gotta start somewhere. Girl.

[Sam]

Wild to me that you can find somebody to suck on your neck, go find makeup to cover up your hickeys, but you can't find a therapist. That shit is wild. Honestly say, I don't know.

[Jeff Lewis]

Well, what that tell me is he's not looking exactly. At all. And then when you start to say, you know, it's expensive.

[Todrick Hall]

Yeah, I'm not really. I'm not really looking, but I'm not gonna lie. But I already lied. Whatever. I am, but I. But the Lia hypnotherapist call is true and real and my other friend is referring me to a therapist because I think she can't hear me talk about it anymore. And like last night she's like, I think you should call this person.

[Sam]

I was like, okay, how many questions did you actually have last night? 12.

[Jeff Lewis]

When you trauma dumped us. So Joey, you had trauma dumped on us. Jade Catapretta, myself and Michael Beck on the way home from Universal Halloween haunt.

[Todrick Hall]

Jeff.

[Jeff Lewis]

What? What you did trauma dump? I'm not going to say any specifics, okay, but we. I mean, I wanted to throw myself out of the car. I didn't.

[Todrick Hall]

Jade's very sweet because the child lock was on the after.

[Jeff Lewis]

Otherwise I would have jumped out on the 101.

[Todrick Hall]

I still like Wyatt.

[Jeff Lewis]

No, I just think immunotherapy might be good. I mean, I think. Have you done therapy, Shane?

[Shane]

I've done a few sessions.

[Jeff Lewis]

I guess you don't really need it as much as Joey and I do.

[Shane]

Seriously, I just watch like Joey on tv.

[Todrick Hall]

I'm open.

[Jeff Lewis]

Let me ask you this. So you said recently that when your ex moves on quickly that they're just trying to fill the void, right?

[Todrick Hall]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

If somebody's moving that fast, they're just trying to fill the void.

[Todrick Hall]

Yes.

[Jeff Lewis]

But I wanted to ask you this. Is it possible because I'm a little older than you by a few years and I've had a few. I know, yeah, allegedly.

[Todrick Hall]

You're only 63.

[Jeff Lewis]

And I've had a few long term relationships. Sometimes people leave before they physically leave. Right. So they emotionally leave the relationship before they physically leave.

[Todrick Hall]

Yes.

[Sam]

Hallelujah.

[Jeff Lewis]

So it is very possible that when people. It seems like they're moving on fast, but they're in their mind. They were broken up a year ago.

[Shane]

Right?

[Todrick Hall]

Yeah. I think that what I've realized is that like literally and truly every relationship is just so different and there's not one answer for everything. And that's a good. To your point, if someone is emotionally out a year before it's physically out, then that's a good sign that maybe they have moved on and maybe they found someone. That's great. But I think that when you're really in love with someone and you have that best friend thing, like, I sure as hell wasn't ready to move on from Brian, but I was emotionally out of it for a year before. And I don't think nobody knows that.

[Sam]

But I was like we were married within that year. That you were emotionally out of it, basically.

[Todrick Hall]

But like we did.

[Jeff Lewis]

I think you were more emotionally attached than you think.

[Todrick Hall]

I think I was too. And I'm realizing going back and forth.

[Jeff Lewis]

Like you were questioning things but you weren't, you weren't emotionally out of it.

[Todrick Hall]

I think I didn't realize how much that relationship took from me and my personality and who I really was before because it's like a. Taken a long time to rebuild my confidence and rebuild like the person that I want to be again because I didn't realize how much it took out of me and that I was just coexisting with another human. I Didn't really have my own identity, I personally think.

[Jeff Lewis]

And maybe you, because you've been friends with Joey for a while, I think the confines of a relationship may not work for you. So I feel like the monogamy and answering to someone and being home at a certain time.

[Sam]

Preach, Reverend Jeff, say it all.

[Jeff Lewis]

I'm just saying, like, I just think you're young. You're young. I just think in your mind, I think you really want these things, but I don't think you're really ready for those things. And.

[Shane]

But, like, part of your job, too, is to be out and about. Like, you're at. You're out every night at events, posting, whatever. Like, it would be hard if you had a partner texting you the whole time. Like, what time are you going to be home? That would be hard to do that.

[Todrick Hall]

I wish that I did have a partner that was doing that and Brian, what didn't towards the end. And there is a lot of temptation, but I think where I'm at right now is, like, I really do want the monogamous relationship. And that's why when I am doing things with this person that I'm seeing right now, where we are now and how we've reset this, all I can do on my end is be good and not hook up with other people and not go on Grindr and not do that. So that's hard for you. But it's not. And I'm doing it now because that's all I can do. My problem is I have trust issues that I didn't realize were there because of my past. And that's. It's been really hard for me to be honest, to trust him. Like, it's great when we're together, and when we're not together, I feel myself anxious, and that's a really bad feeling. And when I met Brian, it was great because Brian was the first guy I ever dated in the beginning that I had no questions about when we weren't together, no anxiety, didn't. Didn't question him at all. And I. So I know that feeling exists. That's why with this relationship, I. It's weird that I'm feeling this anxiety.

[Sam]

I think. I don't know all the situation, but I feel like for me, when I was going from relationship to relationship to relationship and trying to fill voids, like, if I was by myself for a night, I'd be like, I have to go find someone to hang out. Because I would put my worth in, like, somebody being there with.

[Todrick Hall]

Yes.

[Sam]

But I think that the problem that we have as human beings is sometimes we don't like go fix ourselves when we realize that we that we have this issue that we need to work on. And then we go like, basically trying to sell a broken car with three wheels to someone else. And the person who will buy that car is not a person that you want to be driving it. Like, wow, that was kind of a good analogy.

[Jeff Lewis]

It really was.

[Todrick Hall]

That might be on TikTok later girl.

[Sam]

Come on me.

[Jeff Lewis]

Thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Jeff Lewis Live every weekday on Sirius XM as well as the Jeff Lewis Channel exclusively on the SiriusXM app. At Amica Insurance, we know it's more than just a car. It's the two door coupe that was there for your first drive, the hatchback that took you cross country and back, and the minivan that tackles the weekly carpool for the cars you couldn't live without. Trust Amica Auto Insurance Amica Empathy is our best policy.

[Carney Wilson]

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