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Jocko Underground: What to do When You're At a Low Point In Life with No Options and Surrounded by Toxicity.
00:09:13
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- [00:00]
A
This is the Jocko Underground podcast number 199, sitting here with Echo Charles and we just got done with some Jiu Jitsu training. We back, we're back. Victory MMA is now the original. Victory MMA is now open and new and glorious. So the mats were utilized in a big way. So now we are back to the, the mental aspect of the game. You as troopers have sent us questions. We have some answers, some recommendations, some courses of actions at a minimum that you can take to get yourself and keep yourself on the path of justice. So let's get to it. Question number one.
- [00:43]
B
Yeah, very, very useful to not ignore keeping yourself on the path because once you say, oh, this doesn't apply to me, so I don't need that, whatever, I don't know. So yeah, good tip there. All right, first question. I'm writing because I, I need advice and don't have anyone else to turn to. Your podcast played a major role in changing my life after my daughter was born in 2023 and getting me on the path, including starting Jiu Jitsu. I have a two year old daughter. Her mother and I have had a volatile relationship from the beginning. Early on I was wrong and became physic physical during arguments. Later she had people come to our home and assault me, resulting in hospitalization and a year long protection order that caused me to miss my daughter's early life. We've tried to make it work for two years, but now I believe the relationship is destructive and must end. I'm 26, living with toxic parents, buried in debt, facing possible court again without a car and afraid of losing time with my daughter. I feel trapped and overwhelmed. What guidance would you give me to move forward and take responsibility without collapsing?
- [01:53]
A
Well, it's not. You just made like a noise of like, you know, oh, no, right. It's a lot. What are we gonna do? It's a lot, right? But, but in my mind I think of the, the quote of like, hey, we're surrounded. Good. Now we know where the enemy is, right? So that's where you are, right? Right. You're, you're just surrounded on all sides. So what you have to do is you have to begin to square your situation away. Right? This means you have to fix your immediate world that you are in now to start off here with your daughter's mom. I would be professional, don't be emotional, be polite, but you have to make a little bit of distance because you guys have got bad, bad blood. Right? There's bad, there's bad emotions there. It's not good. We. You have to say, hey, listen, I don't want to bother you anymore. I wish you the best. You may not even want to verbalize those things. You just start to act this way. Because if you say, hey, I don't want to bother you, what do you mean you don't bother me? You want to see, don't just be like, just start to be more professional, non emotional and create a little bit of distance. Then what you have to do is you have to get a job, you have to work hard, you have to get a job. I don't care if you get a job at Wendy's. I worked at Wendy's. Right. And if you work at Wendy's and you work hard, you will move up the chain of command. If you go to Home Depot and you get a job, you work hard, you move up the chain of command, you start making more money, like this will happen. Don't buy anything stupid. Save your money. You, in order to save money, I hate to say this, you're probably gonna have to continue to live with your, what you call your toxic parents. I would just, you know, again, don't be overt about it, but just isolate yourself as much as you can with them from them, right? So you don't want to get caught up in their toxicity, but you want to live there.
- [03:40]
B
Cool.
- [03:41]
A
Go to your room, try and spend time out, you know, don't spend a bunch of time there. Spend job working overtime. Spend your time working overtime, right? You got no 40 hours a week. What you can work, you can work 80 hours a week, you can easily work 80 hours a week, get overtime, get two jobs, whatever you got to do. Don't spend time in the house. Go to there to sleep. Isolate from them a little bit and in a little bit of time you're going to have enough money to get a dirt place, you know, a dirt cheap place to live. That's fine. Let's like rent a room from somebody for a few hundred bucks or something like that. During this time you're gonna talk to your daughter, you know, like when you can. Well, I don't know what kind of legal situation you're in with her, whether you're allowed to visit her. But you're gonna follow the rules, you're gonna stay positive, no negativity, not gonna say anything negative about her mother, not gonna say anything negative about life. You concentrate on her, you know, what does she care that you don't have money, you don't have problems, or that you have problems that you have this you don't have. Does she care about any of that? Not as much as she cares about the fact that, you know, she's got crayons and this, you know, she's coloring a flower and you can help a couple of flowers, man. That's what you focus on with her. You do kid stuff with her. Let her world be bright and beautiful. You shelter her from the misery and the darkness of the world. That's what you do. That's where, that's what dads do. Continue your job at Wendy's or Home Depot or wherever you're working. Find some kind of a trade that you're interested in. Electrician, plumber, welder, carpenter. You find one of those things which one you're interested in. They're all cool jobs. It's all very gratifying to wire a place to put plumbing in a place to weld something together to build a house or whatever. And then once you figure out which one you're slightly interested in, you find one of those companies that does that and, and you go and get job there. So you're going to take a minimum wage pay. Whatever you're getting paid at Wendy's, you're getting paid at Home Depot. You're going to say, listen, I will do, I will, I will be labor for you. I'll do whatever you need me to do for minimum wage. And then you're going to bust your ass and you're going to keep saving money and you're going to, you know, you're trying to pay off debts. I don't know if you're going to have enough money yet to pay off debts. Learn whatever skill it is. Electrician, you're going to start to learn that. You're going to watch YouTube, you're gonna, you're gonna read books about this stuff. Go to the library, Read books about being electrician again. You're maintaining a positive relationship with your daughter because that's what we bring to our daughters. Positivity and good and light and, and, and kid stuff and flowers and rainbows. That's what we bring to our kids, our daughters. Pure positivity. Eventually you figure out where you, what qualifications you need to be an electrician. What do you got to do? What's, what do you need to do to get that piece of paper that says you're an electrician? You're gonna go to that school because you saved your money. That's what you're saving your money for. You're continuing to work hard, you're not wasting Any money, you're continuing to pay your debts, and you look up and in three years, and it's gonna be a long, hard three years, but in three years, you're gonna be in a relatively good situation. You're gonna have a steady job. You're gonna have an employer that appreciates you, that you show up early, that you stay late, that you work hard, that you're clean, that. That you do what you're supposed to do. You do it on time, you take the extra initiative. You. You're going to have some money from that. You're going to have a marketable skill because you went and got that, whatever that certification is, you're going to find a place to live, you'll have bought a. A $2,800 vehicle that's fairly reliable. And you're now, your daughter's five. She's not two anymore. And by the way, when she's between two, three, four, five, she's not gonna remember a lot of that stuff. So that's why we're not too worried about it. Look, you're a loving dad. You do. You bring. You bring the light when you can, but by the time three years from now, she's gonna be five, and that's when she'll actually know and she'll remember and appreciate your interactions with her. And then you're slowly, with the permission of her mom, you're gonna get a little bit more integrated with her and you're gonna continue again. You're gonna be. Always be professional. You're. You're in a business relationship with you. With her mom. That's what you are. Professional business relationship with her. Not. No emotions, no. Crazy. No. So that is a little excerpt of what we are doing on the Jocko Underground podcast. So if you want to continue to listen, go to Jocko underground.com and subscribe. And we're doing this. We're doing this to mitigate our reliance on external platforms so we are not subject to their control. And we are doing this so that we can support the Jocko podcast, which will remain as is free for all as long as we can keep it that way. But we. But we are doing this so we don't have to be under the control of sponsors. And we're doing it so we can give you more control, more interaction, more direct connections, better communications with us. And to do that, we are. We're building a website right now where we'll be able to utilize to strengthen this legion of troopers that are in the game with us. So thank you it's Jocko underground.com it costs $8.18 a month and if you can't afford to support us, we can still support you. Just email assistanceacounderground.com and we'll get you taken care of. Until until then, we will see you mobilized Underground.