Joel Osteen (0:00)

Comcast is committed to bringing access to the Internet to all Americans, including rural communities across the country like Sussex County, Delaware. We were being left behind.

Victoria Osteen (0:10)

Everybody around us seemed to have Internet.

Joel Osteen (0:12)

But we did not. High speed Internet is one of those.

Victoria Osteen (0:14)

Good things that we needed to help.

Joel Osteen (0:16)

Us move our farming, our small businesses, our recreation forward. Learn more about how we're bringing our next generation network to more people across the country@comcastcorporation.com investmentinarica tariff and trade policies are dynamic. Your business needs to know how to pivot fast. Get total visibility with NetSuite by Oracle the One Cloud, ERP accounting, financial management, inventory and HR all in one source of truth with real time forecasting and AI to automate everyday tasks, keeping your team strategic. If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, download the free ebook Navigating Global 3 Insights for Leaders at netsuite.com, that's netsuite.com Osteen Hey, I'm Frank and I have Hidradenitis Superativa HS before starting Cosentyx, I was so uncomfortable with my symptoms, like not being able to sleep on white sheets or wear white clothes. Now I can appreciate the little things. Cosentyx Secukinumab is prescribed for adults with moderate to severe Hidradenitis Suprativa hs. Don't use if allergic to Cosentyx. Get checked for TB before starting. Increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur like TB or other serious bacterial, fungal or viral infections. Some were fatal. Tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms like fevers, sweats, chills, muscle aches or cough, had a vaccine or plan to or if IBD symptoms develop or worsen, serious allergic reactions and severe eczema like skin reactions may occur. Learn more at 1-844-cosentyx or cosentyx.com. you're stronger than HS. Ask your dermatologist about Cosenty hi, this is Joel in Victoria. Thanks for listening to our podcast and thanks for supporting the ministry. If you enjoy today's message, why don't you be a blessing and share it with a friend? We appreciate you and pray for God's very best in your life. Well, God bless you. It's a joy to come into your homes each week. We love you and we know God has great things in store for each one of you. We pray for you every single day. I tell these people all the time this is going to be your best year so far. If you're ever in our area, stay stop by and see us. We give you a personal invitation, but thanks for tuning in. I like to get started each week with something kind of funny. I heard about these two famous baseball pitchers. They were discussing whether or not there would be baseball up in heaven. They made an agreement that whoever died first would come back and tell the other if indeed there was baseball in heaven. A few months later, one of the pitchers died. And just like he promised, he came back and said to his friend, news, and I've got bad news. The good news is there is baseball up in heaven. The bad news is you're scheduled to pitch next Thursday. All right, hold up your Bible. Say it like you mean it. This is my Bible. I am what it says I am. I have what it says I have. I can do what it says I can do. Today I will be taught the word of God. I boldly confess. My mind is alert. My heart is receptive. I will never be the same. I am about to receive the incorruptible, indestructible, ever living seed of the Word of God. I'll never be the same. Never, never, never. I'll never be the same. In Jesus name. God bless you. I want to talk to you today about how to improve your relationships. Our relationships have a lot to do with our happiness. You can have all the money in the world, you can have your health, you can have great opportunities in front of you. But if you don't have good relationships, you're not going to enjoy your life very much. And I know people that are successful in business. They've done great in their careers, but their personal life is miserable. They can't get along with other people. One of the keys to having good relationships is to show respect, be considerate, treat other people the way you want to be treated. Now, I've found most of the time it's not the big things that keep people back in relationships. It's just the small things. And if we will be willing to make minor adjustments, very often, we'll see major improvements. Some of you, if you just start giving more compliments, that relationship would go to a new level. Others, if you would lower your voice tones and say things in a kinder way, you would see your relationships improve. Some of you, if you could just become better listeners and give that person your full undivided attention, you'd be amazed at how much better that relationship could be. You need to study the people God's brought into your life. Study your spouse, study your friends, study your boss. See what they like and don't like Watch what frustrates them. Watch what makes them happy. What do they need? What do they respond to? Some people, when they're stressed out, they need encouragement. Other people need space. They need you to back off and give them a little room. Some people need compliments. They need constant affirmation. Other people just need a little time. If you'll take five minutes and say, how you doing? Is everything okay? But God made us all different. There's not one size that fits all. And if you're going to have good relationships, you have to study the people that you're in relationship with and find out what they need. I learned this firsthand from Victoria. I've never seen anyone more perceptive. She constantly studies me. She knows down to the smallest detail what I like and don't like and when to ask something, when to give me some space. It takes an unselfish person to do this, but she realizes in the long run, she's not only making my life easier, she's making her life easier. Because the better she treats me, the happier I am, the more I want to do for her. I start studying for my weekend messages on Wednesdays. Most of the time from Wednesday to Saturday, Victoria won't bring up a heavy subject. If there's a problem we need to discuss, unless it's an emergency, unless it needs immediate attention, she won't bring it up till Monday. She waits till I'm fresh, till my mind is clear. You know what that is? That's respect. That's being considerate. A lot of the tension in our homes, a lot of the pressure in our relationships we bring on ourselves, it could be avoided if we be a little more sensitive. There's a scripture here in First Peter, chapter three and verse seven. It says to live considerately. That means you have to consider the other person. You need to study them and make the necessary adjustments so you can have healthy relationships. For instance, if your spouse comes home from a long day of work, he sat in traffic for an hour and dealt with all kinds of problems. Well, when he walks in the door, that's not the time to tell him the dishwasher broke and the dog is loose and your mother in law is coming for two months. No, be. Be sensitive and wait for the right time. If you see how your boss tends to be more stressed out on Monday mornings, it's not the time to ask for a favor. If you'll wait until the afternoons or until another day, you'll not only have more success, but there'll be less tension in that relationship. Timing is everything. You can say the right thing, but if you say it at the wrong time, it's still wrong. Husbands, once a month around that certain time, you have to give your wife a little more room. I heard somebody say PMS means pretty mean sister. That's not the time to discuss important issues. That's not the time to try to solve problems. That's the time to smile and say, yes, honey, whatever you say. Just simple things can make a big difference. Something I've learned is when I'm not feeling up to par, when I'm kind of stressed or something's bothering me, I tell the people that I'm in close relationship with. The other day I told Victoria, my shoulder is really bothering me. Not complaining, not as an excuse to be sour, but it helps people to understand. Many times a simple explanation can keep a lot of tension out of our relationships. A few years back, I would write my sermons on Thursdays. I work out of my home and I'd come downstairs to have lunch. And every once in a while, Victoria would see me in there and join me. And of course I loved having her in there. But when I'm writing my messages, I don't like to think about anything else. I like to stay in that frame of mind. And I never said anything to her. But with my actions, I was kind of unfriendly, not talkative. And she never said anything about it. But one day I realized that wasn't fair to her. And I finally said, victoria, I'd love to talk to you, but I'm right in the middle of this message and I don't want to get my mind on anything else. Just a simple 10 second explanation. She totally understood. But I thought about how all those years I kept that to myself and just sat there. Unfriendly, not talkative. All that does is bring tension into a relationship. One person's thinking, what's his problem? Why is he so unfriendly? The other one's thinking, well, I wish they'd give me some room. I got so much on my mind. Much of this could be avoided if we just learned to be open and honest with each other. And it's interesting, I never asked Victoria to not do that anymore. But from that day forward, on Thursdays, when I'm writing my messages, she doesn't come in there to eat lunch. Why? She's respectful, she's considerate, she's constantly studying me to see what can make my life easier. And that's the attitude we need to have. What can I do? Today to get along better with the people in my life, not how can my boss change, not how can my spouse treat me better. No, turn it around. What can you do? Study that person. If you will, help them come up higher. That's a seed God will use to bring you up higher. I'm asking us today to pay close attention to the people you're in relationship with. Find out what they need. The mistake I see us make very often is we try to give people what we need instead of what they need. For instance, you may not need a lot of encouragement, but perhaps you're in relationship with somebody that does. You can't have the attitude, well, I don't need it, so they shouldn't need it either. No, God made us different. I remember one time I was talking to this couple that was struggling in their marriage, and the man said, joel, I just don't understand it. I buy my wife anything she wants. He told how they'd put her in a pool a couple of years ago, and he bought her a new car. But this wife, although she appreciated that, that's not what she needed. She needed his affection. She needed his friendship. She needed his time. The problem was, the man was giving her what he needed, what made him feel good. You got to learn to give people what they need, not what you need. Well, you say, how do I know? Listen to what people are saying. Read between the lines. If you hear your wife say, man, you've been working a lot. Wish we could go out to dinner. That's her way of saying, I need some attention. I need some time. I'm feeling lonely. Say, oh, yeah, I've been busy. Maybe it'll stop one day. Be more sensitive. Be sensitive. You know, plan a special outing. Hire a babysitter, take her out to dinner. Just a simple thing. Or maybe you hear your husband one day say, man, no matter what I do for you, I can't seem to please you. That man is crying out for your approval. He's crying out for your affirmation. The way you meet that need is not saying, okay, let's go to dinner. No, he needs to hear you saying, I'm proud of you. I think you're a great husband. I appreciate what you do for this family. If you'll learn to give people what they need and not what you need, it'll help your relationships improve. I know when I've been working real hard and I come home kind of stressed and uptight, I don't need Victoria to say, well, come on in, Joel. Sit down. We'll talk about it. No. That may meet her need, but I'm wired differently than she is. And I know when I'm stressed, I need to go outside and exercise. I need to go outside and play ball with my children. That's going to meet my need. In the same way, when Victoria's a little uptight and tense, I don't tell her, why don't you go outside and play with the children? I value my life more than that. Why don't you go Exercise works for me every time. I've learned after more than 20 years of marriage what she likes and what she doesn't like. And I know when she's kind of uptight, the best thing I can do is just sit down and talk to her about it. I just need to hear her out. She needs to know that I understand and I've learned I don't have to solve the problem. That's not what she's looking for. She just wants to get it out in the open. Once she does that, she feels much better. There are other times. I know she just needs to spend some time by herself. I'll tell her, go get your nails done. Go see some friends or go up to the mall. Man. An hour at the mall, she comes back a totally different person. She's refreshed, rejuvenated. What am I saying? If I'm going to have happy relationships, I got to study the people God's brought into my life and give them what they need, not what I need. Another way to improve a relationship is be a good listener. When people talk to you, give them your undivided attention, look them in the eyes and have an interest in what they're saying. These days, we're so busy and so many distractions. So much multitasking going on. If we're not careful, we'll find we're really only halfway listening. When somebody's trying to talk to you and you've got the computer on or the TV or you're preoccupied with something else that's sending the wrong message, learn to stop what you're doing, pause a few minutes and give them your undivided attention. As I mentioned earlier, I work out of my home, and probably two or three times a day my children come in to say hello or to tell me something. And I used to be so caught up in my work and so determined to stay on schedule, I would do just what I'm asking you not to do. I would acknowledge them, but I'd just keep on working away. Every once in a While I'd say, uh huh, yes, just half way listening. But one day I realized that's sending them the wrong message. With my words, I'm saying, I hear you, I'm listening. But with my actions, I'm communicating. I'm busy. You're bothering me. Now. I've learned to just take a two minute break, look them in the eyes and give them every ounce of energy that I can. I want to communicate to them not just through my words, but through my actions. You're important to me. I've always got time for you. You're extremely valuable. Our children are a lot more perceptive than we may think. They know when we're halfway listening, they know when we're hurrying them along. Don't send that kind of message to the people around you. There's a difference between hearing and listening. We can hear a lot of things, but when we're really listening, we're fully engaged, wanting to hear. I believe part of being respectful, part of being considerate, is to learn to be a good listener. This means when people are talking to you, interrupt them, let them finish their thoughts. You may already know what they're going to say. You may have already heard the story, but you know what? That's okay. Be considerate and let them finish anyway. Maybe somebody asks you a question and you know the answer the first five seconds. There's that tendency to jump in there and cut them off. Here, let me tell you what to do. No, just be respectful and let them finish. It's not only part of being considerate, but it makes them feel good. I've had people explain things to me, maybe ask me to pray about a situation. And they go on and on and I know exactly what they're talking about. But I've realized it's important that I hear what they want me to hear. When you take time to listen, it just shows that you care. It shows that you're concerned. Do you know how many people have told me a joke that I've heard 470 times? I could easily say, well, I've heard that one before. No, I give them the joy of telling it again. And I laugh like it was the first time I ever heard it. Just like you do with mine. I'm sowing a seed. Some people have gotten into a bad habit of finishing people's sentences. For them, if they pause for a half second waiting for a word, they jump right in there and take over. How many times have I been guilty of finishing a story that Victoria starts? She's telling someone else, but because I think I can do it better or because she leaves out one little detail, I jump in and take over. But now I've learned even though I can do it better, I need to let her do it. Be patient and show respect by allowing people to finish their thoughts. I'm trying to improve your relationships. I think I keep making mine worse. My personality type is if I miss an hour meeting, I like somebody to give me a 30 second overview. I don't like to know all the details. I don't want to know all the hows and whys. I just want the bottom line. Well, Victoria is exactly opposite. So when she tells me something, she gives me all the details, all the hidden meanings. What the people were wearing, what they had for lunch, what kind of mood they were in, what their cousin's uncle said, we're just different. And it's easy for me to want to be selfish and to think. I don't want to hear that she needs to change. But I've realized that's important to her. And so when she's explaining something to me, I make myself relax and be at ease, knowing that me taking time to hear the details is adding value to our relationships. Now, I may only want a 30 second overview, and for some people in my life, that may be okay. But if I'm going to give Victoria what she needs, I've got to adapt and be willing to change. When people are talking to you, don't make them feel in a rush, hurried, like they're bothering you. Fidgeting, tapping your fingers, backing away. That's communicating disapproval by your body language. You're saying, I don't have time for you. You're bothering me. A while back, Victoria was telling me this story and she started talking faster and faster. And finally she said, you don't want to hear this. I can tell you're just hurrying me along. I hadn't said one word. It was my body language. I had to do. What I'm asking you to do, turn off the tv. Look people in the eyes and give them your undivided attention. It's a part of respect. Another important key, when you come home from work, you've been away for a while and you see your loved ones. What you do right at the very first is the most important. Don't just run through the house and go to the back and think, I'm tired, I don't want to talk, I've had a long day. No, the first two minutes that you see them has more impact than spending hours with them later on, if you can get in a habit of when you haven't seen the people you care about for three or four hours of just taking the first couple of minutes, giving them your undivided attention, see how they're doing, let them know that you're interested in them. What you're saying by your actions is, I missed you. You're important to me. You're valuable in my life. How many times do we come home and we're not even aware of the people around us? Just in passing, hey, I'm back. I've got to get off my feet. Take a couple of minutes, go kiss your spouse, go hug your children. Priority right when you first get home. This means when you pull up into the driveway, you need to finish that last cell phone call. Don't go in the house talking on the phone, still doing business. How many times have I sat in my garage to finish a call because I know the importance of going in and right at the start, giving my family my undivided attention? Well, you say, joel, I'll do it an hour later. I'll do it after I take care of some other stuff. No, the studies say the first two minutes has the most impact. And before you come home, you need to mentally switch gears, recognize you're moving into a different environment, clear your mind, take some deep breaths, and let the tension out. You have to close one door, so to speak, the stress, the pressure, the frustration, and open another door. Too often, we make a mistake bringing the pressures of the day in with us. When we're stressed and we're uptight, we may not say anything, but before long, the whole house is filled with tension. You may have had a hard day, People may not have treated you right, but you have to get in a habit of leaving that outside. I heard about this man that had a tree right by his back door. There was a large plant in this pot. And every day when he came home from work, he reached over and rubbed the tree, and a friend saw him and said, what in the world are you doing? He said, this is my trouble tree. Before I go inside. I put all my problems, all my worries, all my stress, all my frustration on this tree. And really, we all need a trouble tree, Even if it's an imaginary, leave that outside. Have another friend. Takes him an hour to get home every day, and traffic's real bad. And got a stressful job on top of that. He used to come home so uptight and so pressured. But he told how he started pulling into a park right before he got home and he would take five minutes to just get in peace, to relax and quiet his mind. What was he doing? Shifting gears. He knew the importance of not bringing that inside. We need to keep a peaceful atmosphere in our homes. When we're upset, stressed, worried, it affects everyone around us. Some of you, if you just make a minor adjustment like this, you would see major improvements in your relationships. Instead of going home all stressed and thinking, I don't want to talk. No, leave that outside. Take the first two minutes to invest in the people you love. The fact that you made them a priority, the fact that you came home in a pleasant mood, it's not only setting the tone for the rest of your time together, but you're speaking volumes into their lives. And this not only works at home, it can work anywhere where you have people that you care about. At the office, if you have a good friend and you've been away for four or five hours, when you come back, just 30 seconds, stick your head in their office. Hey, how's everything going? You just made a huge deposit into their life by your actions. You're saying, I really respect you. If we're going to improve our relationships, we have to watch the way we say things. Our voice tones, our body language. I read where 60% of communication is nonverbal. That means our facial expressions, the tone we use, our body language, that's actually communicating more than even our words. You need to learn to keep a pleasant demeanor, learn to smile and be careful the way you say things. How many times have we come home, we're kind of tired, and we just blurt out something very matter of fact. We don't mean to be rude, but our whole body language, our whole demeanor, the tone we used is basically saying, hey, don't bother me. I've had a hard day. Let me do my own thing. There's much more to communication than our words. We may be saying the right thing, but how we say it is equally important. Be sensitive and learn to have a pleasant tone of voice, especially when you're tired, especially when you're stressed. Before you answer, you need to take a deep breath and make sure you say it in a kind, respectful way. Well, you say, joel, my personality is just a little bit stronger than yours. I just believe in telling it like it is. I'm just very straightforward. No, don't use your personality excuse to be rude. You can be truthful, but you can also be tactful. The scripture says to speak the truth in love. You can say a hard thing, but if you'll say it in love with a smile on your face. People will swallow it a whole lot easier. I heard some different definitions of being tactful. Being tactful is the ability to make your point without making an enemy. Being tactful is when you tell someone to go jump in the lake and they look forward to the journey. Being tactful is changing the subject without changing your mind. And being tactful is telling someone that he's open minded when really he just has a hole in his head. There's a difference between being frank and being rude. Don't be matter of fact, don't be blunt. You have to season your words with salt. And before you ever correct anyone, you need to ask yourself, do I really need to say this? Is it going to benefit them? Is it going to further them down the road? Or is it just going to make me feel good? I found a lot of times we say things just to prove our point. You may know someone's wrong, you may know you're right. But understand that doesn't mean correct them. You have to ask yourself, is it really necessary? My friend Johnny here, I've known him my whole life and he works with us. After the services, we go up and greet the visitors. I can't tell you how many times people have told him what a great worship leader he is. They don't realize it's not Johnny, it's Steve. They think he's the one up here leading the singing. They kind of look alike, but believe me, Johnny can't sing, I've heard him. But they'll go on and on telling Johnny, boy, the music was so good. We really enjoyed you up there. We've learned time and time again just to smile and say, God bless you and move on. It's not worth correcting them. It's not a big deal. After all, it's not harming them. And if anything, it's helping Johnny believe that he can sing. But so often we think we got to correct everybody, we got to straighten them out. They're wrong, let me fix them. But there are a lot of things in life that don't really matter. To keep good relationships, you got to be willing to let some things go. Don't ever correct anyone unless it's going to benefit them and not just make you feel good. A couple of years ago, our son Jonathan made a very poor grade on one of his tests. And it's because he hadn't read his book. And I'd been telling him again and again how important it was to keep up with his reading. And so when I saw him, I had my two minute speech prepared and I was going to tell him how I told you to do this and I told you you weren't going to make good grades. Jonathan know when I saw him, he had both hands up, had a big smile on his face. It's hard to be mean to people that are smiling at you. He said, daddy, you don't need to say anything. I already know. I promise I'm going to do better next time. But my pride wanted to give my speech anyway. It was going to be good. I'd had it all prepared. But I had to just swallow that pride and say, okay, if you promise to do better. There are a lot of things that we don't need to make a big deal about. Just let it go. I'm asking you today to look for ways that you can improve your relationships. Maybe you can lower your voice tones a little. Maybe you can become a better listener. Maybe you can say things more tactfully or like I did with Jonathan, just let some things go. Do your part to come up higher in this area. Why don't you study the people God put in your life? Learn to give them what they need, not what you need. Remember before you get home, switch gears. Don't bring the stress and the trouble of the day with you. Leave that on your trouble tree and then take a couple of minutes right at the first and sow into the people that you really love. I believe if you'll make some of these simple changes, you'll see major improvements. Your relationships will get better and better. You'll have more peace, more joy, more harmony in your homes and you'll live the life of victory that God has in store. Amen. Do you receive it today? I know you do. We never like to close our broadcast without giving you an opportunity to make Jesus the Lord of your life. Would you pray with me? Just say, Lord Jesus, I repent of my sins. Come into my heart. I make you my Lord and Savior. Friends, if you prayed that simple prayer, we believe you got born again. Get in a good Bible based church, Keep God first place. He's going to take you places you've never dreamed of.