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Glynn Washington
Foreign.
Hoda Kotb
Hey guys, I'm Hoda KOTB. Welcome to Joy 101, the podcast. So I am constantly seeking. I'm like seeking inspiration. I'm seeking joy, I'm seeking things that just make me feel good. And something crazy happened to me on a flower flight the other day. So I was flying back from Miami and it was 7am I was exhausted. It was like just another regular flight. I'm sitting down and there's a guy who gets on the plane and he was supposed to be sitting in another seat, but that was occupied. So he just plopped down next to me and we started talking. And so I thought it was going to be a two minute conversation and then I was going to go nighty night. So the guy goes, you know, I've been feeling kind of heavy lately. And I was like, I. Oh. I go, what do you mean? He goes, I just, I saw this image on Instagram and it was a child who was an orphan and was hungry and I can't stop thinking about him. Like, I couldn't stop. I woke up in the night and I couldn't stop thinking about him. And so I did a deep dive on the kid. So he went on Instagram and he found the photographer who took the picture. Then he found the orphanage and it was in Uganda. And he tracked, track, tracked, until he got in touch with the man who ran the orphanage. And, and he called and he said, listen, I saw this image. Can I send something? And the guy said, send anything. So we sent clothes. And then the guy on the plane showed me a picture of the kids wearing new clothes. And I was getting teary eyed. I was like feeling that feeling. And he was like. And then I asked, how much does it cost to feed all these children? An image of like dozens and dozens of kids. And he said, $232 a month. And so we started sending money. So this conversation weirdly like, cracked me open. Like we were sharing. It was beautiful, like I was weepy. It was like one of those weird encounters that you feel like you're just. You have different feelings inside. I get off the plane, I'm walking and this woman is in a wheelchair, her husband's pushing her and their four year old daughter is walking along. I'm walking normal. She slips her hand in my hand and just holds it. And I look at her and she goes, my name is Bree. And I go, hi. So I'm walking, this kid is holding my hand. We're walking through the airport and her parents just kind of smile and we keep walking and we get to the elevator and she says, I have to take the elevator with my mom and dad. Will you wait for me? Because I was taking the escalator. So I said yes. So I took the escalator, waited for Bree, and she slipped her hand back in mine and we walked to the door and I said goodbye. And I can't stop thinking about this encounter because I think what happened was on the plane, I was kind of cracked open. And you know that feeling when you're open, suddenly goodness comes. Well, all of a sudden, that little four year old girl and me, we were connected. And I thought to myself, all I want to do is have more of that. I want to have more of those moments that open you up, make you feel joyful, show you that there's goodness all around. So joy's in the tiny things. Which brings me to our episode today. Who is somebody who personifies joy? You know, the kind of person who when they walk in a room, like, bam, it's like the lights go on, you want to be near that person? Well, I know who that person is. It's Alfonso Ribeiro. Alfonso is the guy from Fresh Prince of Bel Air, but he's more than all that. This guy is somebody who everyone in Hollywood says is the nicest guy. He's the guy who is kind to every single person. What makes him that way? What's he about? Where does it come from? We're going to explore all of it in our podcast, Joy 101. Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb is presented by CVS.
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Hoda Kotb
So first of all, yay, you're here.
Alfonso Ribeiro
I'm here. Yes.
Hoda Kotb
And you were hand selected when we were talking about guests.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Okay.
Hoda Kotb
Because this podcast is called Joy 101, right? And I was thinking to myself, who? Who's the Joy guy?
CVS Advertiser
Who's the guy?
Hoda Kotb
When he walks in the room, everyone goes, oh my God, you're that guy. So I do have a question for you about that. Is this a I wake up in the morning and automatically bing, I got it going? Or is this. Does it take a little bit to get where you're going?
Alfonso Ribeiro
I've got to be awake.
Hoda Kotb
You got to be awake.
Alfonso Ribeiro
I've got to be awake. Like I always say, there's two sides to my personality.
Hoda Kotb
Okay?
Alfonso Ribeiro
There is the going to sleep, waking up hangry, right? There's that side of Alfonso that is the very real side. And then there's. We walk into the world, and in the world, I'm happy. And it's not put on. It's not. It's like I feel so lucky and blessed that I get to do what I do. Still, 47 years later, it's amazing to me when I'm like, I'm still doing, and I'm happy about it, and I. I appreciate life so much, you know, especially over the last couple of years, having some. Some really dear friends passing. It's like you start to really recognize what's important in life. And I've. And that's how I live. My kids are everything. My family's everything. Right. Like, going and being a baseball dad is some of the greatest joys that I have in my life now. Watching my kids do things, that's my. So I live in a space of, like, true appreciation. So I'm joyous because I'm just happy. Of all the things, I could have never written this story.
Hoda Kotb
I mean, first of all, I'm kind of admiring everything you're saying, because the admission of. I get hangry. I have my house, me. And then I step out, and there's something about the lights, something about all of that coming at you. And you said something else that struck me. You said, you've lost a couple of friends. I find it so interesting. And same with me. The world suddenly snaps into focus when you have a loss. You're like, bam. Okay, this is priority.
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This.
Hoda Kotb
Life is short. How did it affect you? What did it do?
Alfonso Ribeiro
Well, it has affected me deeply, Especially James Van Der Beek. Pass it. You know, priorities, right? One of the things. I actually had this conversation with my team this morning as I'm, you know, getting ready for the day time, right? When you're on your deathbed, the one question, the one thing you would ask for is more time. And so then I look at the world backwards. So I start at, what is it gonna be? What's my life gonna be like at the end? And when I get there, what would I want? What would I ask for? And I would say I'd ask for time. So then, what am I doing with it?
Hoda Kotb
That's great.
Alfonso Ribeiro
How am I using it? How am I affecting the people around me with my time? Because it's the only thing you're really gonna ask for at the end is more of it, so why waste it?
Hoda Kotb
That's so interesting when you're saying this. It's landing with me, too. When I was leaving the Today show, not Too long ago, I was thinking about, like, my time pie. I was like, everyone gets one pie. How are you gonna carve it up?
Alfonso Ribeiro
Absolutely.
Hoda Kotb
You're gonna put, like, what goes where, what gets priority, what deserves more. Absolutely. So what changed? What did you. What you did, what did you alter?
Alfonso Ribeiro
Well, family, friends, loved ones in all aspects, like my parents, Time with them, you know, focused time. Right. One on one time. That was the. That's the biggest change.
Sheba Cat Food Announcer
Right?
Alfonso Ribeiro
Telling the people that you care about how you feel.
Hoda Kotb
That's good.
Alfonso Ribeiro
So you don't ever. If it ends tomorrow for either one of us, no one goes away thinking about what they could have had. When I was going to see James while he was in his deathbed, literally, you know, we had conversations, and it was. I said to my wife afterwards, that's what I want when I go, I want to be surrounded by people, people that love you, that are there for you, that want what's best for you and everyone around you. That's what I want when I go, wow. And so from that day, you can walk around in life going, let's make sure that's available. Let's make sure that that can happen.
Hoda Kotb
Right?
Alfonso Ribeiro
And so live every day making sure that's a possibility.
Glynn Washington
Wow.
Hoda Kotb
I love that.
Cindy Crawford
I love.
Hoda Kotb
That was beautiful. Beautiful, beautiful. Okay, so now you're making sen to me. I understand you now. I got your whole vibe. I want to take it back, though, because when I think about you, someone had to, like, pour into you. So who was the optimist when you were a little boy growing up? Was it your mom? Was it your dad? Who was the glass half full? Life is beautiful.
Alfonso Ribeiro
You know, they were. They were. They were all both. It wasn't an individual thing, Right. My dad was my manager. My dad was my best friend when I was starting in the business. And, you know, my dad would put me on the front part of the motorcycle, and I would ride to auditions with him, right? And we'd sit at a coffee shop between auditions, and it was always perspective, right? We're lucky to be doing this. We're lucky that we have this time. And of course, when you're a kid, you don't really get it.
Glynn Washington
No.
Alfonso Ribeiro
You don't mean anything until much later. Right? But my dad always gave me, you know, logic, right? What's important, you know, priorities. My mom was kind of the same way. But then the love came kind of behind. It was never forward love, interesting. There was never, you know, we didn't say I love you a lot. That wasn't our Relationship, Right. My parents. But I understood that there was love.
Hoda Kotb
How did you know? Like, as a kid, you need to just.
Alfonso Ribeiro
In your heart. Right, James. I go back to James a lot because we have such. We had so many great, incredible conversations. He used to say to me, your brain takes credit for all the things your heart does. He goes, you live your life with your heart, but your brain takes credit. And when he said that to me, it became so true, because I live my life with my heart. This tells me everything I need to know. Get this out of the way and listen. This will tell you.
Sheba Cat Food Announcer
Yeah, right.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Your brain has ego. Your brain has history and damage and all of that, but your heart doesn't. It just leads you. And I just knew it. I always knew that I was loved. I knew that I had love. I knew that. That my parents, the things that they gave up in their lives for me to have my life is love. There's nothing more than love, you know?
Hoda Kotb
It's so fun. I just interviewed this woman about this topic, and she said, so many people say, oh, my parents never said they love me. And so, oh, my God, I'm seeking it my whole life. And she said, saying it is not necessarily the only way to show love. Like when they picked you up, when they brought you X, Y and Z. And I think sometimes we all forget. It's like. But I never got the words. It's like sometimes show, don't tell. Like, they have their own language.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Words are words.
Hoda Kotb
Yeah.
Alfonso Ribeiro
It doesn't mean anything unless the substance is behind it.
Hoda Kotb
Yes.
CVS Advertiser
Right.
Hoda Kotb
Show me.
Alfonso Ribeiro
You can tell me you love me all the time. There's a lot of people who tell me they love me. I walk down the street, we love you. Do you probably. You really love me?
Sheba Cat Food Announcer
Right.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Do we really understand love if we're saying that, you know, I get it. We really like you. I take that. That can be real. But no, you don't love me. You love an idea of me. You don't love me. Right. But my family loves me. Right. And I know that deep down. And they don't ever have to say it now because I didn't hear it all the time. I say it all the time.
Hoda Kotb
Yeah, I understand.
Alfonso Ribeiro
But I could say it or not say it. And I don't think that would change how my kids feel about how I feel about them.
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Hoda Kotb
Who was the first person who told you you were talented and you believed it?
Alfonso Ribeiro
My grandmother. My grandmother on my dad's side. Her name was Mumsy, as we called her, and she was a Rikers island police officer. Hard as can be, right? Wealthy in a time when we didn't have wealth, you know, for people like that. And she had a daughter who was on a show called Laugh In. So my aunt was on Laugh In. My grandfather was a calypso singer. So she knew what talent looked like. And she would say, you have it. You have that thing. And I. And she would always be. I'm so proud. And I just, you know, all the. All the rest of it. But you believe that? But I was like, I believed it.
Glynn Washington
Wow.
Alfonso Ribeiro
I believe that I was probably four or five.
Hoda Kotb
And what did she see? Like, dancing.
Alfonso Ribeiro
So I would just. I would sing. Yeah, I'd be singing all the time. Yeah, just anything, just. Yes. My mom was the singer really in the house. But like, I would sing all the time. I'd be moving all the time. I don't know whether we call it dancing now. I would say just moving. It wasn't really dancing. I would voices and characters and like, I was all of that in my youth. So like. And so I would say, shit. She was the first person that I believed it. And then my dad was the one that cultivated it.
Hoda Kotb
Okay. Cause he had the structure, the discipline, the, you know, you gotta have work ethic, all that kind of stuff. This is how we're gonna get there.
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Alfonso Ribeiro
Tap, Tap, tap.
Hoda Kotb
All right, so tap dance kid. You on Broadway?
Alfonso Ribeiro
Yeah.
Hoda Kotb
I mean, a kid. What were you, 12? Thirteen?
Alfonso Ribeiro
I was 11 when I got the role. And I didn't tap dance.
Jacob Goldstein
What?
Alfonso Ribeiro
So I didn't. I Wasn't a tap dancer. I'd never tap dance in my life. And they hired me to be the tap dance kid and they taught me to tap dance for a year.
Hoda Kotb
Okay, that's insane.
Alfonso Ribeiro
And then we opened on Broadway. I was 12 in 1983.
Hoda Kotb
What's the day in the life of a 12 year old on Broadway? Just give me one single day of what it was like.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Well, I would, I would say I had the hardest schedule in show business because I'll just give you a Tuesday.
Hoda Kotb
Yeah, give it.
Alfonso Ribeiro
I wake up at seven, have breakfast, be at school by eight, go to school till three, get home, do homework, study, have some food, maybe take a quick nap, relax for a second, get picked up at 6.
Glynn Washington
Right.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Oh, sorry, that's Wednesday. Tuesday I would go half day and then I would leave it at 11:30, get to the theater by 12, on stage at 1 to do a matinee, then time to eat, show at 8, off at 11, home by midnight, asleep by 1, up again the next day. And the kicker is Sundays they would be off after the matinee and have Monday off. But I still went to school on Monday.
Hoda Kotb
I cannot believe you did that as a kid.
Alfonso Ribeiro
So my schedule never stopped.
Hoda Kotb
How did you. I mean, now for kids, you know, it's like we're always worried, like, are you too tired? You didn't get your 12 hours sleep?
Alfonso Ribeiro
I mean, I was sick a lot.
Hoda Kotb
Were you?
Alfonso Ribeiro
Yeah, yeah, I was sick a lot. It was a. They ended up taking me out of the matinees and letting my understudy do them in days, about halfway through my run because I was constantly sick.
Hoda Kotb
Did you enjoy, Were you loving it or were you, was it just a grind?
Alfonso Ribeiro
I loved moments. Yeah, yeah, I enjoyed most of it.
Hoda Kotb
Yeah.
Alfonso Ribeiro
I recognize how hard it was. So when I went to television, I thought television was a joke.
Hoda Kotb
Oh. Because it was like lazy people. Yeah. Oh my.
Alfonso Ribeiro
We're going to spend five days working on this.
Hoda Kotb
Is this how it's really gonna go?
Alfonso Ribeiro
I'm done. It. It's 3:30 at our time.
Hoda Kotb
I mean, all these opportunities kept coming to you though. I mean, you were obviously. Again, I think it's your discipline. I mean, you worked for everything but Silver Spoon, Fresh Prince. Did you just keep getting things or in between, were there rejections that I didn't get? Oh, there were, okay. I didn't read about those. What do you got? What happened?
Alfonso Ribeiro
I mean, ton of them. Right. Like the, the life of an actor is your job is to audition. Your bonus is getting the job. So you audition for 100 things. You get one, you are successful.
Hoda Kotb
Yeah.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Like, you are killing it. If you get one out of 100.
Sheba Cat Food Announcer
Right.
Alfonso Ribeiro
That's 99 rejections. It's 99 times someone said, yeah, not good enough. Which is just the life.
Sheba Cat Food Announcer
Right.
Alfonso Ribeiro
So you get used to people telling you that we don't like you.
Glynn Washington
Wow.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Right. Like, that's. Someone says they don't like me, I go get in line. I mean, what do you mean? Why does that affect me? Right. And especially now in this age of social media where people tell you they don't like you all the time and you read it. And I've always said, actually, I had this conversation with one of my Dancing with the Stars friends last night. I'm like, why would you give the devil an open communication with your heart?
Hoda Kotb
Ooh.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Why would you let them have communication with your heart? Don't read it. Don't care. Right. So rejection for me is so it doesn't mean anything. That's not important to me. What you think of me is important to me.
Hoda Kotb
Right.
Alfonso Ribeiro
What does my kids think? What am I, white? What does my wife think? What do my parents think? What are my friends think? That's important. I literally said, if I said these things to you, it should mean something.
Jacob Goldstein
Yeah.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Because I'm your friend. I don't care about your success. I care about you. When I say, hey, how are you doing? I'm not just saying those words. I mean it. How are you?
Hoda Kotb
When you Talked about the 99 rejections and getting 1, why didn't. After multiple rejections, why didn't you just say, you know what? Some things aren't meant to be?
Alfonso Ribeiro
Because that's. That's just what it is. Right. That's the life of the actor.
Hoda Kotb
Even as a kid. Yeah.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Just you, you. You go for them.
Hoda Kotb
And. And.
Alfonso Ribeiro
And for me, the audition was the fun process.
Hoda Kotb
Oh, that's good.
Alfonso Ribeiro
That was like, you know, I mean, at the end of the day, let's keep it real. It meant I left school early. I got out of school early to go on a motorcycle ride with my dad into the city to go perform for a bunch of people in a room and then maybe sit at a little coffee shop and have some food, maybe some ice cream. Have I even drank coffee back then? Which is crazy. I don't drink it now much. But. But that was fun. The process was fun. So I didn't look at getting the job as the end all. It was more of the process.
Hoda Kotb
Carlton in Fresh Prince was a role that I don't think anyone imagined being as big as it was.
Alfonso Ribeiro
No one could.
Hoda Kotb
I mean, did it become as big as it was because of something you designed? How did that role turn into something that became part of the culture?
Alfonso Ribeiro
I think so. Going deep for a second, which I never do, Carlton was a character that black people could laugh at white people, but not laugh at a white person. It was a character that white people could laugh at themselves without seeing themselves being laughed at. So it allowed people to be comfortable with the corny white guy without anyone feeling insulted and laughing at it and feeling like, oh, I know that guy. I laugh at that guy. That kid's in my school. Yeah, he's smart, but he's not cool.
Sheba Cat Food Announcer
Right.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Or you're laughing at something that exists in society, but no one gets offended.
Hoda Kotb
Isn't that funny that you don't really go that deep to think about it? You just think, I know that guy. I get his vibe.
Alfonso Ribeiro
But there's only positive.
Glynn Washington
Yes.
Alfonso Ribeiro
So there's no negative reaction to your laughing at him, laughing with him, you know, all of that. There's no negative to it. So he created a space in television where we could laugh at ourselves in society, but also laugh at that character. And they wrote him very funny, obviously. But that, to me, is what I believe was the reason that character for decades has such impact.
Hoda Kotb
Yeah. I mean, no one forgets that, right? Was that one of your most joyful chapters, do you think? Fresh Prince.
Alfonso Ribeiro
I'm living my most joyful chapter.
Hoda Kotb
Boom.
Alfonso Ribeiro
So it was a great time. I loved every minute of it. My, you know, they were family, right? Everybody on Fresh Prince, that's. That's family. But I'm living it now. And I'm living it because there is. There's both sides, right?
Glynn Washington
It's.
Alfonso Ribeiro
I'm the most successful I've ever been, career wise, and I'm the happiest I've ever been in life. So I'm living it right now. But those Fresh Prince days were incredible. Going to set every day, being with Will and James and Karen and Tatiana and Janet and Daphne and Joe. And those times were just incredible, right? What we were building, what we were doing, the way we worked together, the way we supported one another was very special. And it's part of why I don't really act anymore, because that'll never be achieved again.
Hoda Kotb
Why?
Alfonso Ribeiro
That kind of joy, that kind of love, that kind of support, that kind of creative magic that it's just. It's so hard for that to happen. It would feel like everything else becomes a letdown so now I get to just be me. And it's not a letdown, because I can be me.
Hoda Kotb
So if someone knocked on the door and said, alfonso, I got a role for you, you gotta read for it. Well, would you?
Alfonso Ribeiro
I wouldn't.
Hoda Kotb
Oh, you wouldn't read. I'm done.
Alfonso Ribeiro
No, I wouldn't read. No, we're not. We're not. No, you wouldn't read. We're not asking for the job. I got.
Sheba Cat Food Announcer
I got.
Alfonso Ribeiro
I got three of them. Okay.
Cindy Crawford
All right.
Alfonso Ribeiro
But. But I would. If something would come up. Yeah, the itch started itching. Yeah, I would. Absolutely. I would look at it. The desire is not there. The need isn't there, because I'm. I'm doing everything I love to do. And. And the difference is, is that I'm doing shows that allow me to still have balance in my life with my family. Right. We've talked about, like, if a job came up here in New York, would you do it? And the answer was no. Like, that. Just flat out, no. I wouldn't do. Unless it was very short. I wouldn't do a New York gig because I don't want to raise my kids here. Right. So now when my kids are old enough and they move on and they're doing their lives and, you know, independent of mine, anything's possible.
Glynn Washington
Right.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Can my wife and I move to New York for a little bit to do something?
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Of course.
Alfonso Ribeiro
But, like, the idea of, you know, me getting in the car telling the boys, hey, you got to be ready by 3:20. We got baseball practice. Yeah, yeah, Right. Getting out of my work clothes or whatever clothes I'm, you know, and then hopping on and taking the kids and spending time and talking about the game and life and how their day was and getting there and watching them perform and, you know, watching my daughter, she just won state in gymnastics in California. She's an incredible. That wouldn't really exist here in New York City.
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Hoda Kotb
You talked about your dad. Are you. What things from parenting did you take from your dad? And what things did you leave behind and say, I'm not doing that?
Alfonso Ribeiro
Well, I would. You know, I'm definitely more. I share more of my emotion with my kids. They see all sides, right? They see crazy dad, they see happy dad, they see loving dad. They see all of it. I saw it all, but it was less. But really, what I took from what my dad did was my dad gave me his time, gave me his presence, and he was there and he was listening, and he was involved. And that, to me, Was the gift that I get to give back to my children is being there, listening, being truly part of their lives. Because you don't get the time back. You know, I've got an older daughter from a first marriage, and I wasn't there. Right. I didn't give her the time. I didn't, I wasn't. I wasn't really part of her upbringing in the way that, that I would have wanted to. And because of that, I'm like, I am not making that mistake again. And so what I've learned ultimately was be there.
Hoda Kotb
Yeah, I love it. Let's talk about repotting. Because you have, you know, this great career in acting. Obviously everyone's, you know, knows your name, the Carl. By the way, do people still ask you to do dance?
Alfonso Ribeiro
Absolutely.
Hoda Kotb
How many times a day do you
Alfonso Ribeiro
get asked to do the Carl outside in public? It's going to happen at least 100 times.
Sheba Cat Food Announcer
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Hoda Kotb
And do you ever do it or not a chance.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Not a chance. No chance. I was like, it's so much better on YouTube. Just, just watch it there, watch it there.
Hoda Kotb
But does it bother you to be so directly connected to that singular moment?
Alfonso Ribeiro
There was a time when I absolutely hated it. You know, time, age, wisdom gives you perspective. Now what I'm able to understand is they're asking me to continue to bring them joy with something that I, I have already created. It's not an insult. It's not. They're letting you know that at the end of the day, you bring me joy. That brought me joy. And when I see you, I can only think of the joy you brought me. And I would love to have more.
Glynn Washington
Wow.
Alfonso Ribeiro
So I have the perspective now.
Hoda Kotb
That's. By the way, that's beautiful. I love that. I love that. So the repotting piece, which is hard for people to redirect a career, anybody, because when you repot, you like pull your up by the roots, you're dangling in the air, oh, where am I gonna go? And then you fortunately got planted in like nutrient rich soil. Like you just came alive. Did you imagine that this next chapter, which has involved all of this, all these cool TV gigs, was to come to pass? And did it surprise you as it was all kind of unfolding?
Alfonso Ribeiro
Never would have expected. I never would have expected me not acting right. Like, that's what I was. I was an actor, that's all. I knew myself as that. And my manager, Conrad Lay, he just was like, there's other spaces for you. You are uniquely qualified for other things that we don't have to just worry about whether you're getting another role.
Glynn Washington
Right.
Alfonso Ribeiro
And for a while, it was directing.
Sheba Cat Food Announcer
Right.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Like, I've directed over 125 episodes of television.
Hoda Kotb
Oh, really?
Alfonso Ribeiro
People don't really know that.
CVS Advertiser
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Hoda Kotb
What. Which, like, give me. Give me a little.
Alfonso Ribeiro
It was in the house.
Hoda Kotb
Oh, yeah.
Alfonso Ribeiro
That was all of us. I was. Did an episode of Fresh Prince. I did a bunch of Tyler Perry stuff. I did Are We There Yet? Wow. A bunch of episodes for that. So all over the place.
Hoda Kotb
Right.
Alfonso Ribeiro
A bunch of Disney shows, upn, you know, wb, A bunch of the. And so I did. I did all, you know, all. I. I got to work with Zendaya when she was just a child.
Hoda Kotb
Oh, my God, how fun, you know?
Alfonso Ribeiro
And she was incredible. And. And so I had a beautiful career doing that. I never would have thought of that. But my manager was like, try that. This is what I think you'd be great at. And I'd gone to film school.
Jacob Goldstein
Yeah.
Alfonso Ribeiro
But I still was like, you know, I mean, yeah, who's gonna hire me as a director, really? And, you know, and that became a really incredible, incredible time for me, while the rebranding or repotting could bear fruit. Right. Being me, being not that guy. And then the opportunity to do Dancing with the Stars fell into my life.
Hoda Kotb
Did you always want to do that?
Alfonso Ribeiro
Absolutely. From day one.
Hoda Kotb
Really?
Alfonso Ribeiro
From season one. It took till season 19.
CVS Advertiser
Holy moly.
Hoda Kotb
So what, you. Were you knocking on their door all the time?
Alfonso Ribeiro
Dina Katz and I became friends before I was on the show. Hey, Dina, how's it looking? It's not looking good. Not looking good. There was a. There was a person at the network.
Hoda Kotb
Yeah.
Alfonso Ribeiro
That did not want me on the show.
Hoda Kotb
Oh, please.
Alfonso Ribeiro
And. And when that person was no longer
Hoda Kotb
at the network, you got on.
Alfonso Ribeiro
The opportunity for me to do the show was that season right after she. Yeah, that person.
Hoda Kotb
Yeah.
Jacob Goldstein
Was.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Was. Was moved on.
Hoda Kotb
Yeah.
Alfonso Ribeiro
And. And that changed my life because after I won the season, I sat in the office of Rob Mills, who runs Unscripted for abc, and he was like, all right, what do you want to do?
Hoda Kotb
Wow.
Alfonso Ribeiro
And there was a picture of Tom Bergeron on the wall, and I was like, that. And he's like, you mean you don't want to do, like, another sitcom? I was like, no, no. I spent my whole life trying to get away from a character where people could see me as me. I did three and a half months on this show showing people the real me, and they approved.
Jacob Goldstein
That's so good.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Why are we going back well done. To being someone else again. Let's just keep being me. This is working. And then AFE and now Dancing with the Stars as hosts.
Hoda Kotb
So America's Funniest Videos. To have Tom Bergeron, by the way, choose you.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Yes.
Hoda Kotb
To have a mentor like him. I mean, what did that mean? And what was the relationship like?
Alfonso Ribeiro
Well, he, you know, obviously doing. I did dancing, and he turned to me, maybe the quarterfinals or something like that, and he goes, you know, I'm leaving America's Funniest Home Videos, and I've made the decision to no longer do this, and I think you're the guy to replace me.
Hoda Kotb
And I was like, he was to die.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Oh, my God. What? What are you talking about? Like, oh, my God. And he was like, I'm gonna talk to the producers and the network and really let them know that I think you would be incredible. And I was like, thank you. Wow. And so when the opportunity came and I met with them, and I had the meeting with Rob Mills and met with Vin Devona and did a screen test and the whole bit, and I was like, well, what. What should I do? Like, how. Like, how should I approach this? He said, I've already. You already know what to do. Just be you.
Hoda Kotb
Oh, gosh.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Just do you.
Cindy Crawford
Right.
Alfonso Ribeiro
And so that kind of validation for me allowed me to walk onto that stage with a confidence that, you know, we always walk in with a little bit of, like, am I. Am I right? Is it gonna be good? Like, what do I need to do?
Glynn Washington
Like.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Like, you overthink it.
Sheba Cat Food Announcer
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Alfonso Ribeiro
And I was able to walk in and go, I'm just gonna do it. Maybe that's enough. I don't know. But I'm just gonna do it. Tom already told me that's all I need to do.
Hoda Kotb
I love it.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Right. And then when I got the show, I went to the writers and I said, look, the audience already loves this show. Right. I don't think we should do anything different. I want you to write the episode no different than you would write it for Tom. But it will be different because I'm doing it.
Sheba Cat Food Announcer
Yeah.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Because I'm not Tom. I can't do what Tom does. I do what I do. There might be similarities, but it'll be different. Yeah, but we don't have to write it differently, because the audience, if it feels different to them, they're gonna be like, I don't know.
Hoda Kotb
Yeah.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Been watching this too long to have something new come into our house. Right. And they don't know the backstory that Tom said he was leaving. And they don't know all that. They just know that Tom's not there. This guy is now there.
Hoda Kotb
Whoa, what's going on here?
Alfonso Ribeiro
I want it to feel the same.
Hoda Kotb
God, that's so smart.
Alfonso Ribeiro
And so they wrote every episode the same. And then as time went along then they started to slightly write it differently. More for me, but the transition had already been made.
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Hoda Kotb
So this. You said this chapter, doing all these amazing things, hosting Dancing with the Stars. You're up front. You're, like, front and center everywhere. I mean, you had this crescendo with Fresh Prince, and sometimes when you're at the top of the wave, you're like, it's not gonna get better.
Glynn Washington
Right.
Hoda Kotb
But you're on a different wave. And it got better.
Alfonso Ribeiro
And it got better. I mean, that's higher high.
Hoda Kotb
That's pretty astonishing. How do you see it playing out? Or do you just. Are you the kind of guy who's like, let's keep on rolling. Let's keep going, Keep going.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Okay, I say, you know I'm dory, right? Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. And that's. And that's literally how I live each day of work. Just keep doing it where it ends. It ends. That is just. Just keep swimming.
Hoda Kotb
That's. That's beautiful.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Just keep going. Well, I mean, you can't know the future. You can't predict the future. And typically, anytime you try to influence the future, you influence it the wrong way.
Hoda Kotb
Yeah.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Just let it happen. I believe that the story is already written. Anything you do can maybe change it, but that doesn't mean change is good. It's already written. Let it happen. Let it happen. Just don't get in its way. Right? Don't do something that changes your destiny from the beautiful destination that I believe I'm destined to achieve by doing something. Just keep swimming.
Hoda Kotb
You know what's so interesting? There's that, you know the. The nursery rhyme? It's like, row, row, row your boat. Like, I spent a ton of my career. Like, I felt like I was swimming upstream. I was trying. I'm like, if I just work harder, it's gonna get easier. And it wasn't getting easier. And all of a sudden, this was at Dateline when I was in all those kind of scary places, but I was listening to that row Row, Row youw Boat. And it's like, Row, row, row your boat Gently down the stream Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily. Life is but a dream. And sometimes when you're in flow, I can tell you're totally in flow. Like, this is so good. But. But when you are, it feels like a rush. And when you're pushing and thinking, if I work harder, if I'm more optimistic, if I just try harder, like getting out of that and finding, like, your bliss, it sounds like you hit it.
Glynn Washington
Yes.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Working hard. First of all, I don't think I can work harder.
Hoda Kotb
Yeah, no, you can't.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Right now I can put more hours in. Right. I can take hours away from my life and put it into work, but does that really make anything better? And in my life, success isn't defined by my work. Success is defined by my heart. And if my heart is happy, then I'm successful. And if it's not, then I'm not. And that has nothing to do with what I'm achieving in my career goals. It's life goals. Right. We're put here to go through life, not to go through work. Work can be part of it. It's not all of it.
Hoda Kotb
Yeah.
Alfonso Ribeiro
So. So I row, row, row my boat Gently down the street. The water's already going in that direction. Yeah, we're all moving together.
Hoda Kotb
We're all going now.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Can I speed it up a little bit?
Jacob Goldstein
Sure.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Come on, speed up a little bit. I got to catch up over there. Let's speed up a little bit. I'm a race car driver. I can't help myself.
Jacob Goldstein
Right.
Alfonso Ribeiro
So, you know, but that doesn't mean we have to.
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Alfonso Ribeiro
Have to, like, get into and start paddling. And we're going to do this. Just be prepared. Right. Last season, before dancing started, I started taking dance lessons again.
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Alfonso Ribeiro
Now there was a joy that I found taking the classes, but it was also like, let's be prepared for the job. Right. They asked me to dance every once in a while now on the show. So it's not like, hey, who? You know, like, no, no, no.
Hoda Kotb
I gotta know how to do this.
Alfonso Ribeiro
I gotta. I gotta remember how to do this.
Hoda Kotb
Yeah, yeah, Right.
Alfonso Ribeiro
And so I have prepared, you know, be ready, be ready for the opportunity. Right. Will Smith used to always say to me, don't get ready, be ready.
Hoda Kotb
Don't get ready, be ready.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Right.
Hoda Kotb
Oh, that's good.
Alfonso Ribeiro
And so I spend my life being ready and not getting ready. So. But. But only on the things that I enjoy. So if I don't enjoy it. What am I getting ready for?
Hoda Kotb
Yeah, I love it. Right, let's talk about love, because that's your sweet spot. You found the girl, you got the family. What? I mean, finding a life partner, finding the soul connection. I mean, describe what she means in your world.
Alfonso Ribeiro
I will start with the day that she let me know that I was the one. So the movie Eat, Pray, Love, the Medicine man, she went and saw that person for real in Asia. And he said to her that you will find your soulmate when you meet the person that has your same birthmark. So we start dating, and deep into our dating life, she sees my birthmark and flips, and I'm like, what did I do right? I'm like, what? But she was uncomfortable saying what she was about to say because it was like. And then a month or so later, she was like, remember when she was like, this guy told me that my soulmate has my same birthmark. I can't look here. And it's identical. Same spot, same shape, same everything.
Hoda Kotb
I have chills. That's crazy.
Alfonso Ribeiro
And I thought that was crazy for real when she said it. But then, as life has continued to move on. Wow. Is that true? Right? Like, she is my other half, and we complement each other in life in the best ways possible. And you're never really ready for that when it comes to you, but the earlier you can appreciate it, the better it will be. And, you know, she's a mother of three of my children, and, like, we are together and we spend our time together. And, you know, she is my biggest fan, supporter, partner, everything that I could ever want in a partner. She is. She's an incredible mom. She takes care of the kids. She's a superwoman.
Hoda Kotb
Yeah. Well, you. It sounds like everything is firing. I get why this is your chapter. I get why this is your moment. Let's close with, you know, look, there are people who are seeking joy. There are people who are trying to. They feel like it's elusive. And I do think it's a choice. I don't think you just get it or don't have it. But for someone who's lived all these chapters, if you were going to help someone who's kind of saying, like, I feel like joy's out of reach, what would be? Any advice, Anything that might help someone who's seeking.
Alfonso Ribeiro
I'd start with the word that jumped into my head. There's two words that jumped in my head, obviously. Empathy.
Glynn Washington
Right.
Alfonso Ribeiro
When you create empathy for the world, you have the ability to feel what others are going through. Right. And when you have that, I believe it puts things in perspective. Right. There is no such thing as perfect. It doesn't exist. Right. We love our Disney movies, but that those are fairy tales. In real life, there's good and there's bad. Right. I believe in. In life, the yin and the yang. Right. For all good that comes, bad has to equal it. How do you see it? How do you choose to see the bad? I've seen many people say when something negative happens, it's an opportunity. You're not a victim of it. It's an opportunity. Opportunity to learn, opportunity to grow. Right. You don't grow in success, you grow in failure. So if you can view failure and things that are not perfect as an opportunity, when the good happens, you will see it in a joyful way and not see it negatively because you're living in that negative energy.
Hoda Kotb
I was just picturing you with James. What could have been, like, the most depressing and horrible and it was terribly sad. However, you came out with all these jewels and gems and ways to change your life.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Yes.
Hoda Kotb
I mean, that's like, personified.
Alfonso Ribeiro
James and his wife Kimberly and all the kids have impacted my life in a way that could never really truly be understood by others. And that ability to have joy and appreciation. Appreciation and the wisdom that man had. Wisdom. He'll never be fully appreciated for the man that he is. And the same for Kimberly. She's still with us, of course, so she will have an opportunity to continue to share that kind of wisdom. But it did. It gave me a perspective.
Hoda Kotb
Yeah. Well, I just want to say one thing. I love how you live your life.
Glynn Washington
Thank you.
Hoda Kotb
I love the way you view the world. And I'm so happy you're on this podcast. Joy 101, man. It's so you.
CVS Advertiser
You were the right guest.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Thank you for hand picking me.
Sheba Cat Food Announcer
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Alfonso Ribeiro
I'm so happy. When? I will say when. When. When the. When the. The ask came across. I don't do podcasts.
Hoda Kotb
Yeah.
Alfonso Ribeiro
You don't like.
Hoda Kotb
It's not your thing.
Alfonso Ribeiro
I just. Well, 90% of podcasts are clickbait.
Hoda Kotb
Yeah.
Alfonso Ribeiro
That they're looking for that moment.
Jacob Goldstein
Yeah.
Alfonso Ribeiro
And I was like, this is one that I know is not about that. It's about. And joy 101 is everything. And I couldn't be more happy that you've asked me and that I got to be able to do this with you. It's a true honor.
Hoda Kotb
Thank you. Love you, honey.
Alfonso Ribeiro
Love you.
Hoda Kotb
Okay. So as we wrap up today, I'm a huge quote person. I love a quote. I love a poem. They stick with me. So Joanna Gaines helped me redo my office for our company, Joy 101, and it was like just a few weeks ago that I was walking through the office and in one of the places on a bulletin board was a poem that was left behind that Joanna and her team left behind for me. And I didn't see it. And this poem is so moving. I'm just going to read it to you. Okay? It says this Somewhere in some corner of the world sits a seed. Maybe it's tucked in the pocket of last season's chore coat or disregarded in the bottom of an otherwise empty hardware store packet, or dropped and left alone on the floor of the garden shed. Wherever it is, it sits there, containing within it almost all of the necessary pieces to grow, to burst out of the ground into the beautiful plant it was meant to be. But it will need nurture to be planted in good soil, to be given water and sunshine and shade. And then time to wait and watch as what's always been becomes the fullness of what it was made to be. And somewhere in some corner of the world sits you. Maybe you're on a park bench getting ready to make your next move, or at your kitchen table after a hard conversation, or in front of your computer with minutes and hours and days of work left to do. Wherever you are, you sit there, containing within you almost all of the necessary pieces to grow, to burst forth into the beautiful person you were made to be. But you will need nurture to be put in a place that makes you come alive, to be given space to sort it all out. Tools to learn, to grow and to be. And then time. Time to wait and watch as what you've always been becomes the fullness of who you were made to be. I don't even know who said that poem, but it's a Joanna Gaines special left behind, and I hope it means something to you. It means a lot to me.
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Hoda Kotb
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Date: June 15, 2026
Host: Hoda Kotb
Guest: Alfonso Ribeiro
This episode of Joy 101 centers on the elusive yet essential quality of joy, exploring how it manifests in everyday encounters, in the face of loss, and through the evolution of a career and personal relationships. Hoda Kotb sits down with Alfonso Ribeiro—actor, host, and self-described eternal optimist—who shares vulnerable reflections on his upbringing, backbone experiences from Fresh Prince to Dancing with the Stars, coping with loss, and the life philosophy that grounds his joy.
(07:00–12:03)
(10:31–12:07)
(12:11–17:39)
(21:31–23:40)
(23:59–27:04)
(27:04–30:24)
(33:41–37:58)
(32:15–33:41; 49:10–51:34)
(44:52–48:50; 52:07–54:48)
On presence and priorities after loss:
On rejection and self-worth:
On the Carlton connection:
Tom Bergeron’s Advice:
Alfonso’s marriage and “soulmate” moment:
On joy, adversity, and growth:
| Time | Segment / Highlight | |-------|----------------------| | 00:10 | Hoda’s airport & plane encounters – “cracked open” to joy | | 07:00 | Alfonso on authentic happiness and private vs. public self | | 09:27 | Lessons from loss: time as life’s most precious commodity | | 12:11 | Upbringing—Gratitude, “love” as action, family dynamic | | 16:06 | Grandmother’s faith in Alfonso’s talent | | 21:31 | Broadway as a child—grit, joy, and physical toll | | 23:59 | Show business’ “99 rejections, 1 success” reality | | 27:04 | The deeper meaning and cultural impact of Carlton | | 29:00 | Fresh Prince vs. today: “most joyful chapter is now” | | 32:15 | Parenting: Presence over performance | | 33:41 | Repotting—career reinvention and creativity | | 37:58 | On being chosen by Tom Bergeron and hosting AFV | | 44:52 | “Just keep swimming” and letting life flow | | 48:50 | Philosophy: Prepare, but only for what you love | | 49:10 | Love and fate: marriage “birthmark” story | | 52:07 | Advice for finding joy: empathy and reframing hardship | | 54:48 | Influence of James Van Der Beek; Appreciation for friends and legacy | | 57:49 | Hoda closes with “seed” poem on personal growth (Joanna Gaines) |
Warm, candid, and deeply personal—Hoda Kotb’s curiosity and empathy bring out Alfonso’s openness, humor, and wisdom. There’s a rhythm of laughter, introspection, and gentle encouragement throughout—this is an episode about finding and magnifying joy, even when it’s hard.
“If my heart is happy, then I’m successful. And if it’s not, then I’m not...We’re put here to go through life, not to go through work. Work can be part of it. It’s not all of it.” – Alfonso Ribeiro (47:45)
A must-listen for those seeking encouragement to prioritize presence, openness, and authentic living in pursuit of joy.